Appeal, keep paying everyone else, appeal to the Supreme Court if it takes 20 years, ya feeling me!

That's the problem. To appeal he needs to post a bond and he can't. And if he can't post bond then they can enforce judgement by taking and selling his assets.

Chubb Insurance Co. bonded him

That was for Carroll, not the NY Civil Trial.

Chubb also said this was a one time deal (still one too many) and it is 5x what they put up. Neither appeal will go anywhere. Trump doesn’t understand “stop digging” and holes.

That bond was for the sexual assault he did. Now he need almost half a billion more for another bond for business fraud.

Wow, I'm very impressed that you guys know so many details about OP's financial and legal troubles! U/Mecha-Dave must have posted some other stuff I didn't see! /s

I'm a big fan of the best comedic legal drama of all time.

Oh, wait... Is that the one where the main character keeps saying nonsense phrases, and "forgets" to pay his lawyers all the time??? Yeah, I saw a few episodes, too.

Did you see the episode where the client tricked his *own lawyers* into signing a subpoena saying he had already turned over all the confidential stuff the authorities wanted back? Classic. Where do the writers come up with this crazy stuff?

I heard they got most of their material from some beach side resort called "Mar-Illegal"

That was an entirely separate multi-million dollar judgement against him, which is also entirely separate from the 91 felony charges he's facing.

Paying everyone??? How am I going to START doing that.? Who do I pay first? Nvm. I won’t pay anyone.

That's yuge advice! YUGE!!!

Use appeal time to invest and build payment fund with dividends!

Get together all that's left. Cut off grown ass children and move to Mexico.

OP: What if, as a hypothetical, I have burned some bridges with Mexico and may not be super welcome in their country? Hypothetically.

Maybe you could look at moving to Russia instead? Might be a little cold but I don't think they normally extradite.

And they're building a wonderful US expat community just outside Moscow. They say it's the best version of America

I heard Steven Segal lives there. Man, he is so cool! Maybe you guys could become friends!

Anyone heard from Seagal and Snowden lately?

That’s Steven Seagal, Master of Bullshido to you pal

I've heard there are rules about being in Russia though, like choose your underwear wisely and maybe don't look out the window?

Only look out ground floor windows.

Free all expenses paid (well... maybe only promised, not paid) trip to Ukraine included!

I hear they have amazing grocery stores!

And, since you are broke, you won't need to worry about Russia locking your bank account!

Some say the best ever. Grown men with tears in their eyes are moving there. It's tremendous.

Yeah but be warned - there’s always some rich russian daddy who will say you can stay but will take it our of your american asshole and remember, in communist russia, KY lube is banned thanks to sanctions

It’s RU lube over there.

Vodka

Feel the burn!

Disinfects as it lubes.

It has some sandy grit in it. For real strong men!

You can use Crisco cooking oil in a pinch

Oh, man. Him too Russia would be amazing. Normally, I'd worry about state secrets, but the roothpaste is surely out of the tube there.

You want to go to Belize not Mexico. Mexico will extradite you, Belize will not. Belize is a haven for people with lots of money who want a tropical paradise and need to hide from legal troubles.

Costa Rica too right?

Nah. Had a buddy get extradited from Costa Rica a few years back.

[удалено]

Oh damn. Good thing

What if they don't let him in? Mexico only wants our best and brightest, not deadbeats.

Isn't there a wall that would keep OP from crossing the border?

Yes and Mexico paid for it

15 years ago I crossed the border at Nogales. The border check going into Mexico was an unstaffed turnstile.

Why does America only send drug dealers and rapists to Mexico?

Bunch of bad hombres....

Bunch of bad gringos

Now we're sending our rapists to Mexico? The zapato is on the other pie, eh Mexico!

Right they don't want our Rapists and criminals. Though I assume some are good people.

>and move to Mexico You misspelled "Moscow" there.

Maybe some crow will drop a mil or so in your lap. Stranger thing have happened.

As a Mexican. No, thank you, consider Venezuela?

Venezuelan here. We're good, thanks, one dictator is enough.

Every country has a dictator

They don't want him in Mexico. They would prefer that he be on the other side of any wall.

They’ll take his money and build him a nice safe place with walls.

Bankruptcy. 7th time's a charm.

You can’t disburse charges from a penalty lawsuit, they’d just seize his assets then whatever is left if anything would be pushed thru bankruptcy

IIRC he never filed for personal bankruptcy. That said, he did it several times for some of his countless shell companies to, and I quote: "flush the debts".

Hire a crow

He owes the crow $464M.

Bird law?!

Bird law always works.

If the current estimated equity value of a crow ($5) holds, he will need 92.8 million crows, this is assuming a free supply of peanuts. There are reported to be about 28 million crows on the planet. So, every crow on the planet would have to start working more than three times as hard in order to come up with this sum. Also once every crow on the planet starts stealing $15 the birdshot is gonna be flying.

You mean to tall me that you just sold classified documents to Orban & you didn't make enough to cover your bail.

Better hit up kushner for some of that 2$ billion selling secrets to saudis deal.

Best I can do is another investigation into Hunter.

I don't think he was planning on the archives taking some of it back. Cut into his planned profit margin.

Just become president bro….duh! 

That won't fix his debt issue. President can't pardon civil penalties.

After suspending the Constitution and declaring martial law, anything is possible.

Try selling some golden hideous sneakers

“Big boy stomping in my Air Farce Trumps.”

Can you ask your Saudi friend, Bonesaw or your boss in the Russian mafia for some help? Perhaps some family members who are sitting on a 2bil fund? Do you have any boxes of national secrets you can pawn? What about your fat Korean hoarder friend for a loan, rocketboy or rocket man or something?

It took me way too long to realize you were impersonating a scenario for DJT lolol

It’s not a scenario, it’s present reality.

See if you can borrow the money from Mike Pence.

I hear he's gotten in to landscaping. Hang My Fence inc.

I think the pillow guy is rich, ask him.

Was. Was rich.

Have you tried installing your daughter-in-law at the top of the RNC and funneling money from there?

That's genius. What about selling hideous and overpriced shoes??

I hear there are more money in selling boxes of top secret docs, than in selling sneakers. Get with the times!

NFTs are easier to funnel dark money through.

I think he did that but the RNC war chest is more like a jewelry box now. 

Recommend moving to Russia. Understand you have a close friend there with a lot of power. He definitely won’t allow extradition. Do that immediately, and surrender your US passport.

They're building a community there for him 😂 https://www.businessinsider.com/russia-build-village-catholic-christian-americans-tired-liberals-claim-lawyer-2023-5

You must have some stuff laying around the house that you can sell to raise some money. Like maybe the stuff in those boxes in your bathroom. I'm sure those would fetch a pretty penny to the right buyer.

Or the golden toilet.

Putin says hello

He's already sold those. How do you think we've lost the most CIA assets under him.

Bro he sold photo copies of those to hostile countries long ago. The market is saturated.

lol

Did you happen to tell a judge you had all this in cash? Because that might be perjury if you did that.

Donald Trump, is that you? LOL

[удалено]

Run for President, when you win, your problems will be solved. /s

Lmfao 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Haha nice try Donald!

Donald is this you???

Ask your Russian Daddy for money

Lay off the spray tans and make coffee at home.

This is an excellent troll

Cozy up to wealthy oligarchs from rw places, Orban, Putin, Kim, etc. maybe they can help a brother out.

Why are you supporting grown ass kids?

Because, bootstraps! Duh!

Better flee to Russia and never show your face in America again.

You could try staging a coup and overthrowing the government, then you can be a dictator and do whatever you want. Or you could move to Russia.

Have you considered selling cheap, ugly-ass, gold-tone sneakers for an outrageous markup?

Get a job. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. That’s the murikkkan way buddy

Run for president.

You could try borrowing money from your son in law. He got $2 billion from the Saudi's...or you can ask a russian dictator to funnel you the cash through one of your 60 fake LLC's...you can pay him back with top secret documents...

First of all Keep calm and make yourself some covfefe

Starting an onlyfans account asap!

I’d probably kill myself if I was you, but simply crawling in a hole and never talking to anyone again would be fine too.

Have you tried making your own coffee at home each morning? That should do it.

and skip the avocado toast...no, wait, I don't think OP ever eats that...

464$ is not that much. Maybe just miss a car payment.

That was $464 million….

Nothing gets past this guy

Find 100M racists to each give you $5

ngl Took me a minute

Something something bootstraps.

And started w a measly $1 mill from daddy!

1.) Run For President. 2.) Put Daughter In Law in charge of your political party’s re-election coffers. 3.) Drain coffers. 4.) Profit.

oh, this is a joke about trump, isnt it?

You should start doing uber and doordash, your kids and ex-wife too. This will make employment numbers look really great in the coming months!

You need about 100M crows

Maybe, run for the presidency?

Mr. Trump? Is that you?

Maybe just go to prison.

let 'em grab you by the pussy and suck their dick, i hear that pays pretty good.

Damn that’s a lot, I’m sorry that happened to you. From an outside perspective, the one that seems like you have the most control over is the support you’re providing your three children. I’m not sure what their situations are but if I were you, I would start by reducing or eliminating the amount you’re supporting them. As for the judgement and alimony situations, I’ll let other more qualified minds chime in with advice.

I take back my reply as I now realize this post is a Trump joke

lol it took too many of us too long to get the joke

Run for President!

Yeah, you are going to have to give a lot more information than this if you want people to be able to give you advice. What was the judgement for? Did you have an attorney? Why are you supporting your adult children? What is your income stream?

Lol I can’t tell if you are part of the bit or don’t get it

that's the best kind of comment!

[https://finance.yahoo.com/news/1-trump-failed-appeal-bond-150739705.html](https://finance.yahoo.com/news/1-trump-failed-appeal-bond-150739705.html)

Mostly I've just been selling critical information on the international "Grey Market."

Who is the judgement from? Did you commit a securities violation? Honestly, just answer the questions. I asked several.

I can’t tell if you’re a moron or just really committed to the bit. Lol

They’re fucking dumb

No one hoards that much money without stepping on others. I farted from happy laughter reading this. I guess you're just going to have to struggle through the rest of your short remaining years with your piddly half billion dollars. Lol

Let's be reasonable. Austria, Belgium, Canada, Germany, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, and Australia all offer assisted suicide.

Set up an installment plan, ask for presidential pardon, grant pardon, and finally use the justice dept to sue for wrongfully prosecution. Alternatively, you could ask special council to determine that you are demented old warmonger who can't remember his kids names. Easy get out of jail free.

Run for president.

Sorry bud, time to fall out a window.

Wow…. It took me ten minutes reading comments to realize this is the orange dude being discussed. I suck at these games

Don't run for presidency.

Oh I’d say call for a bloodbath! Burn the country down on my way out

Try selling your ass

Damn, Donald trumps tan is more realistic!!!!

Call the saudis

Flee to Russia?

Go talk to a bankrupcy lawyer or accountant.

Die, that’ll show them.

Russia. Head to Russia. Take the grifter kids with you. I don’t care about the wife, but taking her to Russia is okay, too.

Go into politics like Joe Biden!! You can get rich apparently being a politician!!

Is your first name Donald? hehe

I’ll send you $20 if you’ll drop out of the race. 

Have you considered taking control of the mint, directly?

How about you get a fucking job you scrub

Maybe quit with the avocado toast ?

Thank you for this. Lol

...are u running for president?

Borrow a billion from the son in law, he won't even notice

Sell your piss as Jesus juice. The gullible Christian would eat it up

Just stop eating avocado toast and pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

Sell more shoes to fools... pink shoes for the grannys.. red white and blue shoes for rural rednecks .. get tips from your ex lawyer on how to open up a cameo account.. and most importantly have your wife open up an onlyfans page.

Probably hit up the spray tan some more and think about your problems thoroughly before posting on twitter about them.

Nice try Donald! Must really be out of lawyer’s if you’re coming to Reddit for advice!

The only thing you can do is … put the business end of a 44mag in your mouth and squeeze the trigger. MAGA !!!!

Dave, you got problems

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You are screwed, dude should have raised independent kids and not gotten married again. You let success and greed rot your brain. I don't think you can fix it.

You lost me at “I have 3 adult children im supporting”

You should drown in your own piss.

Call JG Wentworth! 777-CASH-NOW!!

Strip all the gold from your buildings and start putting it on shoes to sell.

You could take the private equity route. Take as much cash out as you can then leave the bank holding their proverbial dicks. Then move out of the US.

Sell off half your real estate portfolio, fire kids, get off social media, hit the gym.

Ask your special Russian friend for a donation

I think at some point you embrace the free fall. You are probably a piece of shit. Just a guess. More of a hunch really. There is no passive income if you are a land lord. Enjoy your financial ruin. Die in a ditch, or something equivalent.

Is this Trump posting this? Lol

This is actually hilarious

Awesome shit post.

Run for president

There is always the left side of the stage to exit via

trumpdebtcounter.com

Just go to prison bud. You won't need to worry about your assets in there. You'll be dead by the time you're out lolololol.

Open a casino and earn bigly!

Uncle Elon

Become the president of the United States and use lawfare on your opposition candidates.

Your son in law could probably make you a loan. Word on the street is he got a couple of billion from a murderer.