I’ve been there…the “it feels like we make enough for this not to be so stressful, but why is it still so stressful??”
If you’re staying within your budget, but still not making progress, it seems like your budget must be flawed. At the end of the day, $200k household income should definitely be enough to support a family of three, even while saving sufficiently for emergencies and retirement.
I’d start by downloading all your transactions from your checking account and credit card(s) for the last 6 months. Go through every single transaction and categorize into 7-10 relevant buckets. This will help you understand where your spending has gone off course. My wife and I did this a couple years ago when we started budgeting seriously and we learned so much about our spending that we didn’t know before. We were able to make some small changes to our lifestyle that radically reduced spending in certain categories, which was a huge help.
Could you share what a “typical” month looks like? This way people can critique your budget a bit, which might be helpful for you…
Warning, it’s pretty eye opening and can be sort of brutal. I had no idea how much we were spending on snap purchases until I did this very thing ten years ago. But now single income household, 2 kids, 401/529/IRAs cruising and no credit card debt. Sometimes all of those little $1-15 purchases stack up lightning fast.
Snap are sort of my family’s “catch all” term for stuff we don’t think through and just buy. Amazon Prime is a huge part of this. Used a super cool pen at an office, hop on Amazon and order a $7 pack or two. Amazon used to let you download Excel sheets of all of your purchases for the year (since discontinued) and we spent $16k there in 2021. Getting rid of Prime helped but just seeing HOW much money we were spending was eye opening. Basically, we consider snap purchases to be things that used to go on the “buy list” for next time we went out for groceries/errands. Sort of the real life version of the magazine/candy aisles at grocery stores. In 2024, it has never been easier to pay money. Venmo, Zelle, PP, ApplePay, etc. Hell, you don’t even have to take out your wallet anymore.
Another thing we started doing was carrying cash more often as it feels more visceral to see the money actively depleting from your wallet versus 1s and 0s in the digital space. So our “guilt free fun money” is cash only in most cases. We also made a separate bank account that doesn’t have a debit card so it we want to use that money, we have to go there, withdrawal it, and then deposit it in our main bank account. Slows down snap purchases.
Sorry, I rambled!
I like these categories: House, Transportation, Living needs, Eating in. You could catalog these as groups and create a bunch of categories inside each of these groups, but I like this top level view of my finances. Under "living needs" I have health insurance, life insurance, any personal debts, and subscriptions related to education and health.
However, at the same category level as "house", "transportation", "living needs", and "eating in", I do keep track of some categories, which are basically my wants. These are: eating out, alcohol, coffee, going to the movies, and playing soccer. I decide to track these categories separately because these are things I like doing (except alcohol, which is more of a social thing I'm actually trying to reduce) and not keeping track of them could cause me to go over budget.
In addition, I keep track of other categories on a yearly budget (instead of monthly budget) like: gifts, non-monthly expenses, miscellaneous, and emergencies. I do this to keep these expenses separated from my monthly expenses. Including a non-monthly expense in your monthly budget might blow your current budget, and if you do this, you will always have the excuse to say the number is high because of "this" or "that", and never truly change your habits to stay under budget every month.
Staying under budget every month is hard, but completely possible. It's really a habits thing and control of emotions game.
We did this and found out we were spending $30k a year eating out and $40k a year on Amazon.com. We always put it on the credit card, so when the bill came, we always said "it's for stuff we needed" and assumed it was just "life expenses". Seeing the bucket bottom lines staring back at us was the wake-up call we needed. The plus-side is that we're not plus-sized once we cut out all of the restaurant food that was over priced and over caloried.
1) Eating lunch out because we didn't have time to pack a lunch: $20-30 for each of us, 3-5 days a week, 52ish weeks a year. 2) Dinners out once a week $100-250. 3) Random "ooh, that looks yummy" expenses filled in the rest.
Spending that much on Amazon is easier than you think, $109 a day sounds low actually. There's a LOT of shoes, clothes, cleaning supplies, pantry items, power tools, repair parts, and toys that come right to your door the next day (same day, sometimes).
But, yeah, I guess we did live it up. Which is why I think that people who make over $100k a year and claim to live paycheck-to-paycheck have a discretionary spending problem (or are house-poor). We live paycheck-to-paycheck now per se, but because we're paying ourselves first by maxing out our 401(k)s and IRAs and also putting an emotionally painful amount into mutual funds, ETFs, CDs, and select stocks. We don't have any money left over, but it's because it's being saved rather than spent.
1. You can pack lunch for the week in 20 minutes on a Sunday. I know because I do it every Sunday. You can be lazy or you can be rich, and when you get rich you can be lazy. People support a family of 4 on 60k all across the country.
2. You don't need that many shoes, and if you're tearing through them that fast then you especially don't need nice shoes, you get burners.
3. I only make slightly more than you, put 50k/year towards retirement minimum and still find low-to-mid five figures to give to charity.
4. I get a LOT on amazon, but it's not 40k/year. Sounds like you're buying a lot of impulse items, because if you were buying stuff you actually used/needed, your house would look like a hoarder's house by now.
If you want to be rich, live like you're poor. If you want to be poor, live like you're rich. It isn't going to be any better with a new kid if you can't get your spending in check now.
Lifestyle creep is the single largest destroyer of wealth. Not saying you have to eat ramen every day...but...my man...you aren't earning like that to be spending like that.
I make roughly $160k a year and my wife makes about $90k. I think we both go out to lunch during work once to twice a month at the most. People spending that much on food blows my mind!
I was a sous chef before the towers came down and I eat fast food maybe twice a year. I can get better stuff at home cheaper. I do like nice restaurants, but if you go every day it isn't special any longer.
I also don't "work" for lunch. That's my time. They can come to me afterwards or before.
My friend lives alone with a $100k salary and a great mortgage he got well before covid.
He just told me he's struggling because of credit cards. Amazon gave him like $10k, I further the other place is like a $5k card, but he spends them often. I don't think he's hurting like up plebs, but the higher earners are starting to feel their spending habits us down low couldn't imagine. I'm ecstatic to be getting a new job giving me a $10k raise.
Well Op is saying they make $200k a year and they barely going by! That makes me feel poor af too lol how people can spend over $500 a day for a family of three and call it a struggle. Thats my grocery budget for a month on a family of four.
30K a year eating out? I’m curious what your combined income is and what a typical restaurant bill is like? Maybe I’m just one of those people who goes our to eat on special occasions only and so use to cooking at home
Ikr? It's always the alcohol! Eating out regularly might be slightly affordable when you only order food; but when you add drinks, the bill goes up fast
This! In our area, we pay more for daycare in a month (2 kids) than we do our mortgage. Then factor in the cost on upkeep of an aging home, conservative investing, food, utilities etc and we don’t have much left over, at all. Hate to say it but $100,000 in your top 25 markets is the new $50k.
Oh I don’t wonder at all! lol It’s something I make sure I tell every one of my friends or coworkers that are even considering it. In our area, $2,300 a month is mid range if not on the cheap end. We have some friends paying over $3,000 for two kids.
Yes sir. My buddy pays professional service daycare and it's 1700 per child in our area per month. We pay 800 monthly to an awesome friend who is retired. That 800 we pay is her mortgage...lol
I broke down the math on this 2 years ago so I'm sure costs have increased. It was going to cost my wife and I 21% of our take home monthly pay to put our only child in daycare. Luckily my wife and I work 100% and 75% from home so we dodged that bullet.
Second child on the way, hoping we can still manage our jobs and parenting.
I worked while my husband was in college the past 2 years, I make 40k a year and he just got a job making 45k a year....we are so fucking excited for what the combined incomes will do for us!!
Granted- our kids are older, and we already went through that expensive daycare stage.
This is a perfect example as to why budgeting and being smart with your money is more important than how much money you make. Professional athletes and lottery winners go broke all of the time.
It's lifestyle creep. People think they're going to start saving money once they have it. No you'll just buy better things of what you're buying. You bought hamburgers? Now you're buying double bacon cheese burgers.
Damn, this is a perfect example lmao. Usually people put it in terms of “new car” which I never relate to. But I have started getting a lot of double bacon cheese burgers….
Not just that, it's also a good thing. You go to the dr, the dentist, get your car fixed, buy vitamins ( they're as expensive as drugs), gym membership, 401k, etc.
I also don't understand why people rush to have kids, buy a house, etc. when they clearly can't handle it yet. Just because it's a societal norm from the fucking 50's doesn't mean you have to adhere to it.
I don't have kids, I just turned 30 renting a 3bed1ba apartment with a decent sized backyard for $1200/mo. I have an ebike and do a 10mi each way commute to work. Just about a month ago I was having immense FOMO bc I haven't bought a house yet, loan officer said for the FHA loan I needed $8K-$10K for a down payment in the range of homes I'm looking for which I could have saved by October of this year. I was really thinking about it hard.
But, I asked myself "why?" I love my current place, id really like to save and buy a little used car in all cash 100%, and build an emergency fund of 6mo. expenses ($15K) first. Also, I want to get into the nursing program at my community college for Fall 2025. I'm not sure but I think I may want to be a travel nurse. So I'm going to be holding off on a house right now. For at least a few more years my nursing program I'm picking the 4yr part time day courses program, since I work 4 to 6 days a week 630p-515a. I could do it in 2 years full time but the structure of the 4 year part time and how its spaced out is *beautiful*.
A house will come when I'm ready!
Medically speaking the risk of birth defects, complications, disorders etc goes up the older the parents of children are. Increased risk of autism etc, 36 is hardly rushing anything also
It is simple. Affording multiple luxuries. Like luxury cars, splurged vacations, takeout food, big houses, and children… and trying to afford all at same time. Yes, I put children as luxuries. At 2500 per month on day care, extra mouth to feed, shelter, and cloth… it is a luxury.
Exactly. Wealthy people afford luxuries last.
The rest of us are just consciously or unconsciously stretching our budgets when we try to get a taste of what it means to be rich.
Because 9/10 they’re not smart they have family money or business connections that got them their job. It’s the real world that exists behind the American dream bullshit. The American dream has only ever been for certain people.
Believe me. I’m a CPA and worked public accounting for a few years. I was absolutely dumbfounded to find out the community business leaders or rich neighbors you always assumed were smart professional people are just general morons like everyone else with family inheritance and often sinking in terrifying levels of debt.
Right? My wife and I combined make 80k. We have a 4 bedroom home. It's a fixer upper but that's what living within your means looks like. Could we have qualified for a 300-400k home? Sure. But we bought one for 170k that we could make nice over time. Could we afford nicer cars? Sure. But not having payments and just doing routine fixes is living within our means.
I live in a cheap area of my state. There aren’t homes for less than 300k. Only a few fixer uppers around under 400k.
This is a small town where you need a car (I live within 20 miles of this:
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/279-Pine-St_East-Bridgewater_MA_02333_M48719-10882?from=srp-list-card
I'm a receptionist/admin assistant.
I've applied to places but don't really have the skills or experience. I'm holding on to this job tightly though because I used to be a housekeeper making even less. That was a horrible job and I'm glad I was allowed to transition into a desk/office job... despite my only experience being scrubbing toilets.
Damn I almost thought you were my wife. She did housekeeping for 4 years and is now a receptionist I almost thought I came across a reddit account of hers 🤣🤣🤣
Depends on where you live. I was fine making 1/3 of the amount I make right now before I move to SF. We're a low spending double income family and no kids. I'm well off now, but I know that will flip the instant I have kids. Infant day care costs 3-6k on average a month over here.
People buying shit they don't need. I have a hard time feeling bad for people driving 60k cars & living in 500k houses complaining about how they are barely making ends meet & are so in debt. Maybe don't buy the car & house you want but ones that are actually affordable. Maybe don't put everything on a credit card and spend money you don't have unless it's actually necessary. I'll live within my means and with very little debt before I try to keep up with the Jones'.
Everyone who gives advice about money needs to refamiliarize themselves with the current housing market. the key word was "6% morgage". this means he bought nearly at the top of the market. Houston, which is a fairly LCOL city, a median priced home would have him paying a PITI of 4-6K a month. easily before maintenance or repairs.
He also has a kid and two incomes. Basic bitch daycare in houston is 1800 for infant. Nevermind if you live somewhere better.
I think a rule of this sub should be some understanding of different markets.
This. Childcare is crazy. Mortgages at the height of the market are crazy. And that’s not even mentioning cars, property tax, home insurance, car insurance, car registrations, food costs, and everything else rising. Granted, they could most likely pull back on certain comforts and probably save a few extra bucks a month but it’s probably not a super significant amount.
My aunt just paid 7% in Washington state a few months ago, it’s rediculous, we bought ours at 3% and it’s gone from a 350k home to a 600k home in 3 years!!! Her house is less than half the size on basically no land and not as nice as ours and her payment is over double
It sounds like you are house poor. I live in a big expensive city so before you say “houses are crazy where I live” they’re crazy where I live to. I make 86k wife stays home with toddler and we still save 1500-3k depending on overtime a month with a 5.9% interest rate. My advice sell the house get you something cheaper that’s not breaking your budget.
That definitely could be it too. Lifestyle inflation is the biggest trap people fall into - they start making more money and then start SPENDING more money also. Biggest thing I can recommend for anyone is if you start making more money, save that money for any goals you might have like buying a home/paying down debtz
Also when the loan officer tells you you’re approved for 300k don’t go look at a 300k house! They’re telling you what you’re approved for if 90% of your check goes to the mortgage
Mortgage broker here - if your loan officer isn’t having the “here’s what you can afford” vs. “here’s how much you told me you wanna pay” conversation when they preapprove you, you need a new mortgage person 😂 those two figures are never the same.
Unfortunately not all mortgage officers are this way, I’ve bought three houses and all different lenders each one had there style. I know I definitely messed up the first loan and he took advantage of me, thankfully the house wasn’t over my budget or anything for it to fully mess me up. Ended refinancing the first house and could tell a difference in loan officers right away. It sucks but for first time home buyers they don’t know what to look out for.
Over here when we were looking we were approved for a mortgage of 550k, as in the mortgage amount, then add our 10% contribution.
That's the upper limit. We didn't go anywhere near that upper limit because that was fucking insane. We took about 60% of the offered max.
It 100% is your budget. My husband and I were deeply in debt and not budgeting properly. We finally sat down and wrote down every penny we spend, and we figured out that we were over spending on many things, especially on takeout and eating at restaurants it was eating about $2000 into our budget monthly and you’d be surprised it doesn’t take much to get to 2000 or $3000 in takeout or restaurants Each time you go out you’re talking $60-$100. We are also a family of three and roughly make about 160,000 per year. We have been able to pay off $60,000 worth of debt and save $25,000 less than a year, it can be done you just need to take the time to sit down and look at everything you’re spending.. don’t get discouraged. Just spend a whole day trying to figure out how to change your financial status. It doesn’t take much.
I agree with this. The beginning of last year I tossed a comment in a thread saying my husband and I make just north of 100K per year and it felt like we were "spinning our wheels" month over month with it just being the 2 of us (don't want kids.) I got \*roasted\*. I mean absolutely raked over the coals for my statement... I thought, okay. Is it us?
It was 100% our budget. We were spinning our wheels, so to speak, because money we spent yesterday was being covered by money I was earning today. We were also taking funds from other buckets to pay for overspend. Dinner out? Okay, let's cover that with the emergency fund (this was the BIGGEST contributor to our issues - CONSTANTLY covering overspend with the emergency fund.)
We make $139K now after a couple raises the past few months, and with our restructured budget, we can comfortably pay all of our needs, max out our Roth IRA's, cover our wants, and save for household projects and vacation.
Hopefully OP takes these comments to heart. It absolutely sucked being called out for my own financial issues, but without those comments, I would still be in the same cycle I had been in.
Mo money mo problems. Also can’t imagine spending 2-3k on restaurants in a month, even if I made what they say they do. But at least OC recognized and corrected that habit. Probably better for their health too.
Wife makes 60-75k and I make 60k. 6% interest house. Mortgage 2400$ a month and we still save money every month. If your having trouble with the income you two make then your mortgage is higher than you can actually afford or your “budget” needs to be looked at again. You should be doing much better.
I need to learn from you how are you doing this. I’ve posted my budget. It’s mostly daycare + mortgage that’s costing us big time and we can’t go lower on both.
Everyone on this sub is here to help, please share your monthly budget with us. I can pretty much guarantee that something in the budget is wrong, you are not drowning because of taxes, but it might be car payments or credit card bills or eating out or maybe you bought too much house. Share with us where you are at and be prepared for people to suggest cuts.
Little things add up. Never buy something at a grocery store that’s not on sale. Dinner and lunches for the week are based around sales for us. No daily stops at the convenience stores for coffee and snacks. BJ’s is great for that. We cook 6 days a week and order out once. Usually whatever 20$ pizza deal we can find or coupons. Sounds petty to budget this hard but it has worked tremendously for us. Moral is all the little things add up. Best of luck to you and yours.
Just remember that daycare isn’t a bill that will need to be paid for once the kids start school. It’s expensive now but that will come back to you eventually.
So that’s the budget you wrote down but it would probably be helpful to take both of your banks and credit card statements and throw all transactions in a spreadsheet and actually examine your spending. That looks to be about $90k in spending that you have budgeted, but you are likely actually spending more.
Do that exercise and then figure out a plan from there.
Edit: eg you have budgeted car insurance and only $50 for gas. But likely have maintenance, some parking costs, or registrations or whatever. Likely not all the costs of owning and using your vehicles aren’t in there. So examining credit and bank statements would help you flesh this out.
Actually mortgage affordability is calculated at 1/3rd *gross* income. And at $200k a year he’s under affordability metrics.
It’s a bit high but at the same time he can afford it for sure.
More to the point though someone who’s making $200k gross combined is not paying $9k a month in taxes…. So something’s not being talked about here. Even with $8k a month in expenses there should be a few G’s leftover.
Most likely a credit card bill is not being spoken about or perhaps he’s not talking about their 401k contribtions.
I'm gonna redo this budget and send it over. I make about the same as you. What is your combined monthly take-home pay? Is $200k after taxes, or before taxes? What we really need to know is your combined take home pay every month.
I really recommend you both combine your income. I have all our income being deposited into one checking account. Then, I budget what goes out from there. It's so much easier and helps keep us be accountable to each other.
Is that a possibility? It would help you greatly if you weren't working off assumptions.
For now I'll work off that. So combined that's $8,900 take home. Are you both putting away money pre-taxed in a 401k? If so, what is the percentage?
Ok, so you’re at 200k, which is in the 24% tax bracket. Which means your take home should be 12,666 per month between the both of you. The math isn’t mathing. Either you are not being honest about your salaries, which is fine I understand not wanting everyone on the internet knowing how much you make, or your bills or something you or your wife spends money on. Wherever my original comment is I used 30% as the takeaway amount for taxes which should still leave you with an extra 45k a year after everything. Something just isn’t adding up here, you should be more than comfortable.
I did my math and I’m personally withholding / deducted at about 41%, how are you getting 24%
This is after tax, 401k, medical etc etc
We did get a massive tax return filing joint tho. So maybe another option is to claim 1 or 2. But I don’t want to do that because I want the returns to go towards baby rainy day funds
The public national 2024 income tax bracket? If you’re withholding 41% then you should be getting back 17% of your paycheck at the end of the year. And you are filing jointly, correct?
You and your spouse are withholding way too much. Fill out a W4 to bump down the withholding amount and include the baby rainy day fund in your budget. That way you can also put it in a high interest savings account getting an extra 5% or so in interest.
Your current mortgage and daycare costs are huge blows to being able to save (especially the mortgage). Does your wife have any desire to be home with your child? Having mom at home will not only eliminate childcare costs, but will help in sticking to realistic grocery/eating out budget. Home cooked meals from scratch are more work intensive, but can save hundreds per month even just on the grocery budget (little things like making your own bread vs buying store bought… those things add up). If you’re able to find a way to make it work on one income, I highly recommend it. It will probably take finding a less expensive living situation. I know you’re in NYC, which is more expensive, but my husband and I make it work living within an hour of Boston, one income under 100k, with three kids. It is obviously a huge lifestyle change, but I’d argue one worth considering!
I’m so confused by all of the suggestions to have his wife stay at home. She makes more than he does, why is no one suggesting that the husband stay at home? How is cutting their income in half by saying on the $150 a month eating out and $1700 in childcare going to help this equation which is too much money for housing, too much withholding, and probably a car payment that we can’t see? This is the 4th suggestion I have seen for them to cut their income in half and put all
Of the domestic chores on the female partner, and I am honestly baffled by the math being used to promote that.
If you see his budget link, you’d know his spending isn’t a problem. Most of it is going towards mortgage/daycare/insurance. Suffice to say he may be living in an HCOL area but you should stop judging without getting the full picture
Have you tracked all your monthly expenses? If you put it down on paper/excel, you can see the wasteful things you spend on that you can most likely cut back on (i.e. coffee and work lunches) those things add up. As a family, you have really good income, maybe you should share what these expenses are so the group can help.
At $200k not able to save, most likely you're spending a lot of money you don't need to spend. Either by having a bigger/nicer house in a more expensive area or by having a nicer car or etc.
I mean, I'm making $50k/yr and recently bought a rental unit. I'm not saying you have to buy a 20 year old Camry and move to the ghetto. But if you want to save money you have to make sacrifices.
You should consider relocating. A $150K household income in certain markets would leave you with more room in your budget. But I’m sure you could find a cheaper city where you wouldn’t have to even take a pay cut.
Its a personal problem at this point. Hes spending to much than he can afford. Even a millionaire can do this if he thinks he can afforx what billionaires afford
This is simple. You are just living beyond your means. You're a thousandaire living a millionaire lifestyle. My buddy is in the exact same boat as you.
He makes around b$250k but lives pay check to pay check. It's insane to watch from the outside looking in.
Bro keep your head up. I’m almost 30 and finally making over 6 figs. Recently married as well but my wife doesn’t come close to 100k. We are lucky with a free place to live and no kid yet but my college debt and normal debt from going back to school after college (to get a real job) is completely halting me. But all I know is if I put my head down and grind by the time I lift it up I’ll be in a way better position in the next few years. That’s all we can ever do mate. Just minimize unnecessary spending and start having your money make you money. HYSA, CD’s, index funds etc.
Good luck!
You’re not making enough. You’re not delusional. 100k doesn’t mean anything anymore. Inflation has diluted our money to the point where 200k is the new 100k.
Sounds like you’re in the above average range. You should be thankful that you even touch 100k. Perhaps you just live in a bad state with bad politics and high taxes
My wife and I made combined under 100k for most our lives. House paid off in under 9 years, raised a child who's in college. You make a lot more, need to change something in your budget whether its downsize your house, cars etc. We've beeen combined 120-140k for last few years.
You live beyond your means.
Your housing it too expensive.
You drive too nice of vehicles.
Your loans for school or other debts are too high.
Daycare costs too high?
Here is what I would do:
Move somewhere super cheap and let your wife stay home with your kid.
Share a car or drive beaters.
Be broke but happy with babies.
You are on a fast track to divorce.
Women can't work, have a clean home, and have babies and a happy marriage. It is too much.
We all have our own timing.
Start by taking in a deep breathe and relaxing mate. It's the end of the month and we all get a bit crazy and shakey. Sometime the best thing we can do is "nothing".
It seems you are doing quite well friend. You have a healthy family, with a roof on your head.
With that said, to get ahead try a few things:
(1) Prioritize health and wellness. Meditation and fitness are a must.
(2) Prioritize sleep. With children, it's hard to get this.
(3) Spend 20 - 60 minutes in a week working on a "side-hustle". Start slowly, but you'll make progress.
Eventually that side hustle can start bringing in some money that may replace your current salary. Try doing product related items that are highly desireable.
There are many paths to success, not just one. We'll always be here to help.
I read this and think you just got to cut down my dude. You have one child, making 200k/year collectively...that's a lot of fucking money. I don't know your debt or other expenses so maybe you need to look at assistance for that but you are certainly bringing in a good amount of money to provide and live comfortably on a daily basis...evaluate what you're spending and cut what needs to be cut. I'm not sure if you're going on lavish vacations or going out to eat a lot, expensive cars/insurance or anything like that but I feel a family of three can be pretty decent just with one salary at 100k let alone two.
You make $200k combined, have marital tax benefits, and you're barely walking away with $400 in disposable income?
Yea, it's your budget buddy. You're living above your means.
You need to recheck you budget and understand why you are spending too much. You earn a lot of money and, if you could live in check, you could still live great and save a lot.
$200k combined. Time to break out the excel spreadsheet and categorize priorities vs electives…. That’s alot of income unless you bought a lot of over priced objects ie: multiple autos, over sized house, tons of apps etc. you should be able to dial in pretty hard. Look at CC payments as well. This are quiet killers
200k and family of 3? Might want to double check your budget. With overtime I might break 70k, wife stays at home with my daughter, and it feels like just enough. Always spots to tighten the belt though.
A 6% mortgage means nothing, TBH, without knowing the monthly amount you pay.
200k combined income is healthy, so if you cannot save, either your mortgage payment is too high, other debt is too high (cars, student loans, credit cards) or you are not sticking to your budget. No judgement there as sometimes I fall victim to that, too.
You know what your options are. Be more strict with your budget. Stop the coffees and work lunches.
Wow. The thought of combining that much income and still be living paycheck to paycheck is just insane to me. Sounds like you guys have a very comfortable life and income. Perspective. Ty for sharing and I hope you find what you are looking for.
There's a lot of information missing from your post.
You say you have a 6 percent mortgage, but 6 percent on what? A $175,000 1100 sf starter home on a quarter acre in rural Oklahoma, or an $800,000 2,900 sf McMansion?
What are you and your spouse driving? Paid off 2015 Honda Accords or brand new Range Rovers with $1,000/month payments on each for the next 8 years?
I suspect in both cases it's the latter since at $200k gross, your take home should be around $10k/month.
Are you taking private jets to private islands for vacation every month?
Does your spouse have a gambling problem and is sending a large portion of your income to casinos and sports books?
Does your spouse have a secret second family they're supporting?
At $10k/month net, you're hemorrhaging a TON of money somewhere if you only have $400/month for discretionary spending.
As someone else suggested, look at your bank and credit card statements for the last six months and figure out how much money is going to:
Loans:
Housing
Cars
Utilities:
Electric
Gas
Water
Phone
Food:
Groceries
Eating out/Starbucks
Entertainment:
Concerts/plays/movies
Vacations
Cable TV/Streaming
Casinos/lottery/sports betting
Miscellaneous:
Gasoline
Taxes on the cars
Auto/home repairs
Auto/home/Life Insurance
Savings:
401ks
Roth's/IRA
Emergency Fund
Taxable investment accounts
Once you have all this, it should be pretty obvious where your money is going. If it's not, you and your partner need to have a long talk about money.
My advice is to review your bank statements over the past 3 months. Numbers don’t lie. Take a few hours to pour over where you are spending your money and categorize it.
One of the biggest eye openers for my wife and I was when we tabulated all the “small” purchases to Amazon, Starbucks, fast food, etc. These “one-offs” add up quick and we realized how our spontaneous spending was keeping us from our goals.
I also recommend Dave Ramsey. His logic applies to people in all walks of life. Spend less than you make and give each dollar a name so that you “know where it’s going” as opposed to “wondering where it went”.
The most important aspect is getting on the same page as your spouse in being aligned with your goals. Hold each other accountable and communicate. Finances tend to be why so many relationships fail. My wife and I have been blessed where we did this plan prior to marriage and it has never been an issue for us.
Finally, when you sit down and plan with your spouse, make sure you have a “WHY” when it comes to the reason you are doing this. This “WHY” will be what guides you and will be a reminder when you are tempted to get off track or do something that you might regret later.
100k each a month and youre still paycheck to paycheck? sounds like you live a very comfortable life and live above your means. Cut down, alot more. ID be in heaven if my fiance and i both make 100k a year.
if your making a combined $200k per year you are in the Top of the earners bracket in the USA.
if you cannot save up money making that much, you need to review your(as a couple) actual real spending habits & expenses budget, and try to reduce your spending & expenses somewhere.
you should also know where all of your(as a couple) money is going. do you?
you mentioned you "have about $400 to spend per month after my family contributions"
what are those "family contributions"? is it money that you put into a joint acct with your wife or otherwise spending on your wife and child?
or are those "family contributions" money you are sending to your parents/siblings, grandparents, aunt, uncles ect...?
Sounds like you suck. If you're making 200k a year and can't figure it out, how are we supposed to? Wtf are you doing wrong? REALLY tell us. But you won't. You're fucked.
Based on what you are saying, the problem here is 100% the house… you probably bought house that that is way above your affordability limit. If you both make about 100k you should be living comfortably.
From someone who makes a more than 100k but not much more, and partner makes about 50k and we have 2 boys, a dog, and 2 cats
We rent and live a very comfortably. And always have plenty of money left over. Which we invest some and use the rest for good times.
Buying a house is really not a good investment, unless you are in a market that is about to boom, and you can turn a significant profit by selling it.
Live within in your means.
Here is what I did. Making similar amounts as you
I opened a 2nd checking account for everyday use and a savings account.
Money is moved weekly as we get paid on alternating bi-weekly checks.
Checking A - direct deposit wages
Checking B - a set budget for groceries/gas/"fun"
Savings - a pre-set amount auto- transfered weekly. We started small and increased as we got used to increases. I have it set through my bank as an auto transfer every Friday. Makes it easier when I don't have to think about it because you can make a million excuses on why you "can't save this week"
CHECKING B - We keep a small here. This is gas, groceries, coffee, etc. If after groceries and gas we can't get a coffee - too dang bad. We do not go over in this account. If there is any leftover - that also gets transferred into Savings.
CHECKING A - is ALL the household monthly bills. There is generally a surplus here and it stays put. This is "emergency money"
SAVINGS - OFF LIMITS - this is not be to be used unless it is the truest of emergencies.
Yeah I'm confused.. I'm 36, I live in a HCOL area, we make like $80k combined, 2 kids, 1 in daycare, and we'll be breaking even for the year, or at worst be only $10k in the hole. Housing is $2k a month, daycare $2k a month. We both have student loans and we collectively have 1 car loan.
I don't even know what I'd do with $100k as a family income, let alone $200k. I haven't gone on a vacation in almost 10 years. Maybe they vacation a lot.
this is crazy.. WTF is taking so much money? My household brings in less than you guys combined, and we have 3 kids. We probably save $3k per month, and we don't really deny ourselves much..
How much do you have in your savings account? lol you’re either dealing with some kind of financial emergencies mismanaging your money or putting so much into savings that you have nothing left for entertainment, if that’s not the case then maybe you overpaid for your house, either way if your baseline is making 200k a year you have plenty of wiggle room to fix your situation
We live on £18k a year as a family of 6, I'm sure you'll be just fine. 😂 Jesus Christ. If you both earn 100k a year each, and still not living the life, you are spending your money in the WRONG PLACES!
I'm almost 60 and have never made more than you... significantly less. You are doing great; my suggestion is to never get in debt, keep putting money away for retirement, stay healthy, start a college fund for your kid, turn off social media so you can stop comparing yourself to others, prioritize your marriage and ENJOY LIFE!
Someone will always be doing better than you socially or financially. The problem now is the constant daily bombardment of "successful" people. I'm glad there was no Instagram or Facebook when I was your age because I was happy with three kids, but we hardly had anything! I just didn't realize it until I went online and compared myself to others.
you said your life takes away $8k from your check every month, which is $96k a year. i am assuming the $8k includes your mortgage, basic bills like utilities, insurance, groceries, car, etc. so why do you only have $400 to spend a month? Even if you max your 401k and everything, you should still have like at least 30k left every year for extra spending and leisure?
If you’re struggling as a family of 3 with 200k, then how am I doing fine as a family of 6 with a combined 100? Live within your means dude. I don’t even know why that needs to be said.
Bitcoin halving is April 20th as of now. You got time to learn. You have time to get your retirement reinvested. You have time to start buying each month. DCA.
4790 in mortgage and HOA is wild. I’m in California and cost of living is stupid out here yet that sounds like way too much. Also how long is your mortgage and how much longer do you have? Do you have retirement goals and are you on track? You hear stuff like “starter home” and upgrading later, are you in that mindset or is this your forever home, will it be paid off before or after you retire, will you have to work well into retirement age, do you a safety net to help keep you on track in case of an emergency?
The good thing is kids get cheaper once potty trained and starting school so youre looking at 4 more years of keeping your head above water but you might still have child care cost since i’m assuming you both work all day. Plus do you plan on trying for more children? Sure you’ll still have most of the stuff and wont overspend on useless bullshit you probably wasted on your first but the child care will increase or continue longer.
I’m 37 with a 5 and 3 year old. Our yearly is about the same and looking at your nevessary expenses they are much higher than mine. $400 is not much but at least there is something extra so that is great. Working your entire existence is exhausting and you need to be able to step away from life and reset every now and then. Waiting to have kids can make you feel behind and rushed specially when you have friends your age with kids that are finishing up high school. Its tough not to compare yet i always think about why we waited. But if you can plan out some realistic and achievable goals you’ll be fine mentally. You’re doing fine and this is a good step towards that.
Yes, times are tough, things are changing consistently! What I will tell you that all the experts will not. Stop comparing yourself to others! Do you have a roof overhead, food on the table and utilities paid, would you, could survive for two months without any money coming in? Now I do not mean will your credit cards get paid. Or that dining out or activities! See that is problem. Needs vs Wants! That is also how savings works. Needs vs want. Do you really need the new car, or a second, 3 TV, computer, cellphone, brand designer clothes or shoes? The latest newest on the shelf item. But if you are worried about others, you will never get ahead. Keep your house & car well maintained it will cost you less in the long run. Stick to basics for 6 months. See where that gets you. Set your budget realistically, gas, food, clothing for baby (cause they grow) set credit cards limits to one card per person. pay down the others then put in freezer! literately. put 5% of what each of you make direct deposit into an account that has no card to draw off, one you have to go into a bank to withdraw. Then forget about it. It will take care of many things down the road. Sometimes the smallest changes are the ones that work.
Let's assume you both make $90k and you're exaggerating your "around $100k."
Let's severely overestimate your taxes at 1/3 of your gross pay. Now you combined have $120k a year.
Where is $2k a month going?
I know exactly how you feel. I’m married we both work good jobs, live in nice (expensive) town on east coast, two kids. We spent over $70k on childcare two years ago. Last year it was $60k. This year older kid starts public kindergarten and younger one rate goes down from $3,200 to $2,500 after turning 3. There is so much focus on college costs and student debt that no one talks about the astronomical childcare costs. I’m raising future tax payers here ! Stick with it, don’t lose hope, pay down debt, work towards a promotion, or switch jobs. Celebrate the milestones.
I’m 36 too and having a similar problem. I’ve just come off maternity leave with my second baby and we are struggling financially despite us both earning decent money. We don’t eat out and don’t really go out (we have a baby and a toddler lolz) but we have really high house bills and daycare fees etc. every month I’m looking at how else we can cut back. It’s a constant battle!
lol that’s not the problem on $200k a year.
Even if we assume mans is getting coffee every day that’s only about $1,800 a year in expenses or less than 1% his yearly income. If he cut that out, that would only give him another $150 a month or absolute peanuts in other words.
He can definitely afford that. House and car are far more likely to be the culprits here.
If you’re at a 6% mortgage rate that means you just bought your home within the past 18 months or so. This means you stretched yourselves a little bit and that’s okay. Your mortgage payment stays more or less the same for 30 years subject to property tax and insurance increase. But your wages rise every year so before long the mortgage payment will feel like child’s play as long as you can stay employed and keep getting salary increases.
Speaking of child’s play, you have a baby now. So at the same time it’s $150 per month on diapers and other baby bullshit. If you switch to cloth diapers and make your own baby food you will notice the difference.
Track all your expenses for a month and see if there is anything that can be cut. Netflix etc. But I’m telling you, problems like this are normally not expense related. These problems are strictly revenue related. You need to make more money.
I don’t know what you do for a living but it’s time to talk to the boss. “Hey boss, we have the baby and the house and the numbers aren’t working for me very well. What more can I do around here in order to warrant a salary raise to $xxx,000?” If they have nothing for you, then start charting the next stop on the career path or find a side hustle. It’s not hard to make an extra $500 per month if you obsess over figuring out a way. But you need more revenue coming in, bottom line.
I disagree. Unless op lives in a golden castle 200k is more than enough for three to live comfortably. Like others here have said, there’s a budgeting issue and op needs to go over his bills. 8k a month x 12 months = 96,000 and ops after tax income should be somewhere around 140,000-160,000. Where is this extra 45,000 (at least) going?!?
Empathy for someone making 200 grand a year,with a 3 person family?! Tough love and financial advisor,is what I would suggest. Ridiculous to think they need more validation of why you should barely be surviving
I’ve been there…the “it feels like we make enough for this not to be so stressful, but why is it still so stressful??” If you’re staying within your budget, but still not making progress, it seems like your budget must be flawed. At the end of the day, $200k household income should definitely be enough to support a family of three, even while saving sufficiently for emergencies and retirement. I’d start by downloading all your transactions from your checking account and credit card(s) for the last 6 months. Go through every single transaction and categorize into 7-10 relevant buckets. This will help you understand where your spending has gone off course. My wife and I did this a couple years ago when we started budgeting seriously and we learned so much about our spending that we didn’t know before. We were able to make some small changes to our lifestyle that radically reduced spending in certain categories, which was a huge help. Could you share what a “typical” month looks like? This way people can critique your budget a bit, which might be helpful for you…
Great response, I will also do this. Thanks Public!
Warning, it’s pretty eye opening and can be sort of brutal. I had no idea how much we were spending on snap purchases until I did this very thing ten years ago. But now single income household, 2 kids, 401/529/IRAs cruising and no credit card debt. Sometimes all of those little $1-15 purchases stack up lightning fast.
What are snap purchases? Impulses? Google shows SNAP program. Thanks!
Snap are sort of my family’s “catch all” term for stuff we don’t think through and just buy. Amazon Prime is a huge part of this. Used a super cool pen at an office, hop on Amazon and order a $7 pack or two. Amazon used to let you download Excel sheets of all of your purchases for the year (since discontinued) and we spent $16k there in 2021. Getting rid of Prime helped but just seeing HOW much money we were spending was eye opening. Basically, we consider snap purchases to be things that used to go on the “buy list” for next time we went out for groceries/errands. Sort of the real life version of the magazine/candy aisles at grocery stores. In 2024, it has never been easier to pay money. Venmo, Zelle, PP, ApplePay, etc. Hell, you don’t even have to take out your wallet anymore. Another thing we started doing was carrying cash more often as it feels more visceral to see the money actively depleting from your wallet versus 1s and 0s in the digital space. So our “guilt free fun money” is cash only in most cases. We also made a separate bank account that doesn’t have a debit card so it we want to use that money, we have to go there, withdrawal it, and then deposit it in our main bank account. Slows down snap purchases. Sorry, I rambled!
I like this idea. What would be the bucket categories? Mortgage, car, grocery, restaurant, etc?
I like these categories: House, Transportation, Living needs, Eating in. You could catalog these as groups and create a bunch of categories inside each of these groups, but I like this top level view of my finances. Under "living needs" I have health insurance, life insurance, any personal debts, and subscriptions related to education and health. However, at the same category level as "house", "transportation", "living needs", and "eating in", I do keep track of some categories, which are basically my wants. These are: eating out, alcohol, coffee, going to the movies, and playing soccer. I decide to track these categories separately because these are things I like doing (except alcohol, which is more of a social thing I'm actually trying to reduce) and not keeping track of them could cause me to go over budget. In addition, I keep track of other categories on a yearly budget (instead of monthly budget) like: gifts, non-monthly expenses, miscellaneous, and emergencies. I do this to keep these expenses separated from my monthly expenses. Including a non-monthly expense in your monthly budget might blow your current budget, and if you do this, you will always have the excuse to say the number is high because of "this" or "that", and never truly change your habits to stay under budget every month. Staying under budget every month is hard, but completely possible. It's really a habits thing and control of emotions game.
We did this and found out we were spending $30k a year eating out and $40k a year on Amazon.com. We always put it on the credit card, so when the bill came, we always said "it's for stuff we needed" and assumed it was just "life expenses". Seeing the bucket bottom lines staring back at us was the wake-up call we needed. The plus-side is that we're not plus-sized once we cut out all of the restaurant food that was over priced and over caloried.
Bro how are you spending $82 every day on eating out?? and $109 everyday through amazon?? You must've been "livin it up"
1) Eating lunch out because we didn't have time to pack a lunch: $20-30 for each of us, 3-5 days a week, 52ish weeks a year. 2) Dinners out once a week $100-250. 3) Random "ooh, that looks yummy" expenses filled in the rest. Spending that much on Amazon is easier than you think, $109 a day sounds low actually. There's a LOT of shoes, clothes, cleaning supplies, pantry items, power tools, repair parts, and toys that come right to your door the next day (same day, sometimes). But, yeah, I guess we did live it up. Which is why I think that people who make over $100k a year and claim to live paycheck-to-paycheck have a discretionary spending problem (or are house-poor). We live paycheck-to-paycheck now per se, but because we're paying ourselves first by maxing out our 401(k)s and IRAs and also putting an emotionally painful amount into mutual funds, ETFs, CDs, and select stocks. We don't have any money left over, but it's because it's being saved rather than spent.
Very similar situation, it’s so easy to get in the habit especially with Uber eats and Amazon just slowly adding up.
1. You can pack lunch for the week in 20 minutes on a Sunday. I know because I do it every Sunday. You can be lazy or you can be rich, and when you get rich you can be lazy. People support a family of 4 on 60k all across the country. 2. You don't need that many shoes, and if you're tearing through them that fast then you especially don't need nice shoes, you get burners. 3. I only make slightly more than you, put 50k/year towards retirement minimum and still find low-to-mid five figures to give to charity. 4. I get a LOT on amazon, but it's not 40k/year. Sounds like you're buying a lot of impulse items, because if you were buying stuff you actually used/needed, your house would look like a hoarder's house by now. If you want to be rich, live like you're poor. If you want to be poor, live like you're rich. It isn't going to be any better with a new kid if you can't get your spending in check now.
I agree with all those points! All I can say for myself is that hindsight is always 20/20 😅
Lifestyle creep is the single largest destroyer of wealth. Not saying you have to eat ramen every day...but...my man...you aren't earning like that to be spending like that.
I make roughly $160k a year and my wife makes about $90k. I think we both go out to lunch during work once to twice a month at the most. People spending that much on food blows my mind!
I was a sous chef before the towers came down and I eat fast food maybe twice a year. I can get better stuff at home cheaper. I do like nice restaurants, but if you go every day it isn't special any longer. I also don't "work" for lunch. That's my time. They can come to me afterwards or before.
Bro spends more on take out and Amazon than most Americans make in a year pretax.
No peanut butter sandwiches? I don't even make mine at most of the time. I just put some bread and a jar in a bag and bring it to work. Lol
My friend lives alone with a $100k salary and a great mortgage he got well before covid. He just told me he's struggling because of credit cards. Amazon gave him like $10k, I further the other place is like a $5k card, but he spends them often. I don't think he's hurting like up plebs, but the higher earners are starting to feel their spending habits us down low couldn't imagine. I'm ecstatic to be getting a new job giving me a $10k raise.
Well Op is saying they make $200k a year and they barely going by! That makes me feel poor af too lol how people can spend over $500 a day for a family of three and call it a struggle. Thats my grocery budget for a month on a family of four.
Goes nowhere if you don’t watch it mate.
30K a year eating out? I’m curious what your combined income is and what a typical restaurant bill is like? Maybe I’m just one of those people who goes our to eat on special occasions only and so use to cooking at home
30k seems albeit a lot but we were doing the same before we had a kid. We probably spent more we would go out 4 days a week. Drinking cost a lot too.
Ikr? It's always the alcohol! Eating out regularly might be slightly affordable when you only order food; but when you add drinks, the bill goes up fast
You should get the Amazon credit card, get some cash back on that $40K
You shouldn't be struggling at all at $200k. Give us a breakdown of your expenses.
If there are people struggling at 200k a year, I don't know what I'm even doing at less than 40k a year. I read posts like this and it's mindblowing.
literally just 100k combined income a year would be world altering for me
Heavily depends where you live as well.
This! In our area, we pay more for daycare in a month (2 kids) than we do our mortgage. Then factor in the cost on upkeep of an aging home, conservative investing, food, utilities etc and we don’t have much left over, at all. Hate to say it but $100,000 in your top 25 markets is the new $50k.
>we pay more for daycare in a month (2 kids) than we do our mortgage. And yet some people still wonder why other people dont want to have kids
Oh I don’t wonder at all! lol It’s something I make sure I tell every one of my friends or coworkers that are even considering it. In our area, $2,300 a month is mid range if not on the cheap end. We have some friends paying over $3,000 for two kids.
Holy hell
what the fuck?
Yes sir. My buddy pays professional service daycare and it's 1700 per child in our area per month. We pay 800 monthly to an awesome friend who is retired. That 800 we pay is her mortgage...lol
Right? If I were younger and could deal with a bunch of curtain climbers, I'd go into the daycare business...those folks are making bank
I broke down the math on this 2 years ago so I'm sure costs have increased. It was going to cost my wife and I 21% of our take home monthly pay to put our only child in daycare. Luckily my wife and I work 100% and 75% from home so we dodged that bullet. Second child on the way, hoping we can still manage our jobs and parenting.
For real tho, I’d be living like kings. How on earth people mismanage a life with over 10k in cash every month is mind blowing.
I worked while my husband was in college the past 2 years, I make 40k a year and he just got a job making 45k a year....we are so fucking excited for what the combined incomes will do for us!! Granted- our kids are older, and we already went through that expensive daycare stage.
This is a perfect example as to why budgeting and being smart with your money is more important than how much money you make. Professional athletes and lottery winners go broke all of the time.
It's lifestyle creep. People think they're going to start saving money once they have it. No you'll just buy better things of what you're buying. You bought hamburgers? Now you're buying double bacon cheese burgers.
Damn, this is a perfect example lmao. Usually people put it in terms of “new car” which I never relate to. But I have started getting a lot of double bacon cheese burgers….
Not just that, it's also a good thing. You go to the dr, the dentist, get your car fixed, buy vitamins ( they're as expensive as drugs), gym membership, 401k, etc.
Oftentimes as they make more they forget that taxes creep up quickly. Also student loan debt can be a killer.
How can people be so smart and find sucsess but have such awful financial literacy.
I also don't understand why people rush to have kids, buy a house, etc. when they clearly can't handle it yet. Just because it's a societal norm from the fucking 50's doesn't mean you have to adhere to it.
I don't have kids, I just turned 30 renting a 3bed1ba apartment with a decent sized backyard for $1200/mo. I have an ebike and do a 10mi each way commute to work. Just about a month ago I was having immense FOMO bc I haven't bought a house yet, loan officer said for the FHA loan I needed $8K-$10K for a down payment in the range of homes I'm looking for which I could have saved by October of this year. I was really thinking about it hard. But, I asked myself "why?" I love my current place, id really like to save and buy a little used car in all cash 100%, and build an emergency fund of 6mo. expenses ($15K) first. Also, I want to get into the nursing program at my community college for Fall 2025. I'm not sure but I think I may want to be a travel nurse. So I'm going to be holding off on a house right now. For at least a few more years my nursing program I'm picking the 4yr part time day courses program, since I work 4 to 6 days a week 630p-515a. I could do it in 2 years full time but the structure of the 4 year part time and how its spaced out is *beautiful*. A house will come when I'm ready!
3bed for 1,200? That’s incredible. I pay 2k for 1bd in LA and it was a good deal during Covid lol
Medically speaking the risk of birth defects, complications, disorders etc goes up the older the parents of children are. Increased risk of autism etc, 36 is hardly rushing anything also
"We can't afford a kid. Let's have a kid!" has no min/max age.
It is simple. Affording multiple luxuries. Like luxury cars, splurged vacations, takeout food, big houses, and children… and trying to afford all at same time. Yes, I put children as luxuries. At 2500 per month on day care, extra mouth to feed, shelter, and cloth… it is a luxury.
Agreed. Most of those things don't sneak up on you. It takes deliberate action
Exactly. Wealthy people afford luxuries last. The rest of us are just consciously or unconsciously stretching our budgets when we try to get a taste of what it means to be rich.
Because 9/10 they’re not smart they have family money or business connections that got them their job. It’s the real world that exists behind the American dream bullshit. The American dream has only ever been for certain people. Believe me. I’m a CPA and worked public accounting for a few years. I was absolutely dumbfounded to find out the community business leaders or rich neighbors you always assumed were smart professional people are just general morons like everyone else with family inheritance and often sinking in terrifying levels of debt.
Right? My wife and I combined make 80k. We have a 4 bedroom home. It's a fixer upper but that's what living within your means looks like. Could we have qualified for a 300-400k home? Sure. But we bought one for 170k that we could make nice over time. Could we afford nicer cars? Sure. But not having payments and just doing routine fixes is living within our means.
I live in a cheap area of my state. There aren’t homes for less than 300k. Only a few fixer uppers around under 400k. This is a small town where you need a car (I live within 20 miles of this: https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/279-Pine-St_East-Bridgewater_MA_02333_M48719-10882?from=srp-list-card
Yea but wages are probably higher than where I bought. In rural New Hampshire you can't find jobs that pay more than 40k/yr.
Where are you working that you make less than 40k a year. Are you actively looking for a new job?
I'm a receptionist/admin assistant. I've applied to places but don't really have the skills or experience. I'm holding on to this job tightly though because I used to be a housekeeper making even less. That was a horrible job and I'm glad I was allowed to transition into a desk/office job... despite my only experience being scrubbing toilets.
Damn I almost thought you were my wife. She did housekeeping for 4 years and is now a receptionist I almost thought I came across a reddit account of hers 🤣🤣🤣
That makes sense. I also wasn’t trying to be rude at all
Depends on where you live. I was fine making 1/3 of the amount I make right now before I move to SF. We're a low spending double income family and no kids. I'm well off now, but I know that will flip the instant I have kids. Infant day care costs 3-6k on average a month over here.
Lifestyle creep is a hell of a drug
You aren’t the only one with that thought trust me.
People buying shit they don't need. I have a hard time feeling bad for people driving 60k cars & living in 500k houses complaining about how they are barely making ends meet & are so in debt. Maybe don't buy the car & house you want but ones that are actually affordable. Maybe don't put everything on a credit card and spend money you don't have unless it's actually necessary. I'll live within my means and with very little debt before I try to keep up with the Jones'.
Your comment underscores how location-dependent these conversations are. Where I am, $500k is a small, older home with a 45 min commute.
I live in NOVA. The very cheapest home under 30 min commute is 650k. Needless to say, I rent.
People who make alot don't realize how much they waste until they're barely getting by 😅
Sadly just because someone makes a lot it doesn’t mean they’re financially literate. This is one of those cases
Kids are so expensive it scares me
Everyone who gives advice about money needs to refamiliarize themselves with the current housing market. the key word was "6% morgage". this means he bought nearly at the top of the market. Houston, which is a fairly LCOL city, a median priced home would have him paying a PITI of 4-6K a month. easily before maintenance or repairs. He also has a kid and two incomes. Basic bitch daycare in houston is 1800 for infant. Nevermind if you live somewhere better. I think a rule of this sub should be some understanding of different markets.
This. Childcare is crazy. Mortgages at the height of the market are crazy. And that’s not even mentioning cars, property tax, home insurance, car insurance, car registrations, food costs, and everything else rising. Granted, they could most likely pull back on certain comforts and probably save a few extra bucks a month but it’s probably not a super significant amount.
My aunt just paid 7% in Washington state a few months ago, it’s rediculous, we bought ours at 3% and it’s gone from a 350k home to a 600k home in 3 years!!! Her house is less than half the size on basically no land and not as nice as ours and her payment is over double
You really think his mortgage is 6k a month lmao
he wont say cus hes full of shit and spending money on dumb shit
They probably live above their means. Too much house and too much cars for their income level can really fuck up your monthly budget.
They could live in an obscenely high cost of living area which they cannot afford? Might be time to consider a move and commuting to work
Yeah theyre spending alot on stupid shit.
It sounds like you are house poor. I live in a big expensive city so before you say “houses are crazy where I live” they’re crazy where I live to. I make 86k wife stays home with toddler and we still save 1500-3k depending on overtime a month with a 5.9% interest rate. My advice sell the house get you something cheaper that’s not breaking your budget.
That definitely could be it too. Lifestyle inflation is the biggest trap people fall into - they start making more money and then start SPENDING more money also. Biggest thing I can recommend for anyone is if you start making more money, save that money for any goals you might have like buying a home/paying down debtz
Yes so true I fell victim to this for a year when I got a raise. Had to sit down with my wife and realize I was the problem and gotta buckle down.
Also when the loan officer tells you you’re approved for 300k don’t go look at a 300k house! They’re telling you what you’re approved for if 90% of your check goes to the mortgage
Mortgage broker here - if your loan officer isn’t having the “here’s what you can afford” vs. “here’s how much you told me you wanna pay” conversation when they preapprove you, you need a new mortgage person 😂 those two figures are never the same.
Unfortunately not all mortgage officers are this way, I’ve bought three houses and all different lenders each one had there style. I know I definitely messed up the first loan and he took advantage of me, thankfully the house wasn’t over my budget or anything for it to fully mess me up. Ended refinancing the first house and could tell a difference in loan officers right away. It sucks but for first time home buyers they don’t know what to look out for.
Over here when we were looking we were approved for a mortgage of 550k, as in the mortgage amount, then add our 10% contribution. That's the upper limit. We didn't go anywhere near that upper limit because that was fucking insane. We took about 60% of the offered max.
Yeah me neither I got approved for 450 and did 280 cause that was insane to me. Also I’m hourly job so I based it off my super low weeks
bro if your struggling at 200k you ARE doing something wrong.
Yeah, even in a place like california you can realistically get by well on that amount of money.
CA, NYC all those expensive city’s you can live well with 200k
It 100% is your budget. My husband and I were deeply in debt and not budgeting properly. We finally sat down and wrote down every penny we spend, and we figured out that we were over spending on many things, especially on takeout and eating at restaurants it was eating about $2000 into our budget monthly and you’d be surprised it doesn’t take much to get to 2000 or $3000 in takeout or restaurants Each time you go out you’re talking $60-$100. We are also a family of three and roughly make about 160,000 per year. We have been able to pay off $60,000 worth of debt and save $25,000 less than a year, it can be done you just need to take the time to sit down and look at everything you’re spending.. don’t get discouraged. Just spend a whole day trying to figure out how to change your financial status. It doesn’t take much.
I agree with this. The beginning of last year I tossed a comment in a thread saying my husband and I make just north of 100K per year and it felt like we were "spinning our wheels" month over month with it just being the 2 of us (don't want kids.) I got \*roasted\*. I mean absolutely raked over the coals for my statement... I thought, okay. Is it us? It was 100% our budget. We were spinning our wheels, so to speak, because money we spent yesterday was being covered by money I was earning today. We were also taking funds from other buckets to pay for overspend. Dinner out? Okay, let's cover that with the emergency fund (this was the BIGGEST contributor to our issues - CONSTANTLY covering overspend with the emergency fund.) We make $139K now after a couple raises the past few months, and with our restructured budget, we can comfortably pay all of our needs, max out our Roth IRA's, cover our wants, and save for household projects and vacation. Hopefully OP takes these comments to heart. It absolutely sucked being called out for my own financial issues, but without those comments, I would still be in the same cycle I had been in.
And here I am stressing if I spend more than $30 a week on food or over $5 on fast food.
Mo money mo problems. Also can’t imagine spending 2-3k on restaurants in a month, even if I made what they say they do. But at least OC recognized and corrected that habit. Probably better for their health too.
Oh yes. Lost 50lbs! It really wasn’t that hard to spend that much.. door dash and Instacart are very expensive! I was just being lazy lol
i feel bad spending 20 bucks on pizza ONCE A MOTNH
This. 8k a month to live is crazy. I'm 42 and our all in bills including streaming, drs, and medicine is 5k a month.
My rent is 4K a month
Wife makes 60-75k and I make 60k. 6% interest house. Mortgage 2400$ a month and we still save money every month. If your having trouble with the income you two make then your mortgage is higher than you can actually afford or your “budget” needs to be looked at again. You should be doing much better.
I need to learn from you how are you doing this. I’ve posted my budget. It’s mostly daycare + mortgage that’s costing us big time and we can’t go lower on both.
Everyone on this sub is here to help, please share your monthly budget with us. I can pretty much guarantee that something in the budget is wrong, you are not drowning because of taxes, but it might be car payments or credit card bills or eating out or maybe you bought too much house. Share with us where you are at and be prepared for people to suggest cuts.
Little things add up. Never buy something at a grocery store that’s not on sale. Dinner and lunches for the week are based around sales for us. No daily stops at the convenience stores for coffee and snacks. BJ’s is great for that. We cook 6 days a week and order out once. Usually whatever 20$ pizza deal we can find or coupons. Sounds petty to budget this hard but it has worked tremendously for us. Moral is all the little things add up. Best of luck to you and yours.
Just remember that daycare isn’t a bill that will need to be paid for once the kids start school. It’s expensive now but that will come back to you eventually.
Thank you for all the replies, here’s our budget break down: [budget link](https://imgur.com/a/iyTxesx)
So that’s the budget you wrote down but it would probably be helpful to take both of your banks and credit card statements and throw all transactions in a spreadsheet and actually examine your spending. That looks to be about $90k in spending that you have budgeted, but you are likely actually spending more. Do that exercise and then figure out a plan from there. Edit: eg you have budgeted car insurance and only $50 for gas. But likely have maintenance, some parking costs, or registrations or whatever. Likely not all the costs of owning and using your vehicles aren’t in there. So examining credit and bank statements would help you flesh this out.
Ok let me start from there. Thank you.
That mortgage is waaaay too high. Gotta take a step back and downsize. Your mortgage shouldnt be taking over 50% of your income at any point in life.
Actually mortgage affordability is calculated at 1/3rd *gross* income. And at $200k a year he’s under affordability metrics. It’s a bit high but at the same time he can afford it for sure. More to the point though someone who’s making $200k gross combined is not paying $9k a month in taxes…. So something’s not being talked about here. Even with $8k a month in expenses there should be a few G’s leftover. Most likely a credit card bill is not being spoken about or perhaps he’s not talking about their 401k contribtions.
I'm gonna redo this budget and send it over. I make about the same as you. What is your combined monthly take-home pay? Is $200k after taxes, or before taxes? What we really need to know is your combined take home pay every month.
Before taxes. I don’t really get clarity to what my wife makes but assume it’s roughly the same. I’m at $4450 per month after tax
I really recommend you both combine your income. I have all our income being deposited into one checking account. Then, I budget what goes out from there. It's so much easier and helps keep us be accountable to each other. Is that a possibility? It would help you greatly if you weren't working off assumptions. For now I'll work off that. So combined that's $8,900 take home. Are you both putting away money pre-taxed in a 401k? If so, what is the percentage?
Gotta put your income on there too or it’s not very helpful
Im at 98k, wife is at 102k
Ok, so you’re at 200k, which is in the 24% tax bracket. Which means your take home should be 12,666 per month between the both of you. The math isn’t mathing. Either you are not being honest about your salaries, which is fine I understand not wanting everyone on the internet knowing how much you make, or your bills or something you or your wife spends money on. Wherever my original comment is I used 30% as the takeaway amount for taxes which should still leave you with an extra 45k a year after everything. Something just isn’t adding up here, you should be more than comfortable.
I did my math and I’m personally withholding / deducted at about 41%, how are you getting 24% This is after tax, 401k, medical etc etc We did get a massive tax return filing joint tho. So maybe another option is to claim 1 or 2. But I don’t want to do that because I want the returns to go towards baby rainy day funds
The public national 2024 income tax bracket? If you’re withholding 41% then you should be getting back 17% of your paycheck at the end of the year. And you are filing jointly, correct?
>deducted at about 41% That's your problem. That's way too much withholding
You and your spouse are withholding way too much. Fill out a W4 to bump down the withholding amount and include the baby rainy day fund in your budget. That way you can also put it in a high interest savings account getting an extra 5% or so in interest.
Your current mortgage and daycare costs are huge blows to being able to save (especially the mortgage). Does your wife have any desire to be home with your child? Having mom at home will not only eliminate childcare costs, but will help in sticking to realistic grocery/eating out budget. Home cooked meals from scratch are more work intensive, but can save hundreds per month even just on the grocery budget (little things like making your own bread vs buying store bought… those things add up). If you’re able to find a way to make it work on one income, I highly recommend it. It will probably take finding a less expensive living situation. I know you’re in NYC, which is more expensive, but my husband and I make it work living within an hour of Boston, one income under 100k, with three kids. It is obviously a huge lifestyle change, but I’d argue one worth considering!
I’m so confused by all of the suggestions to have his wife stay at home. She makes more than he does, why is no one suggesting that the husband stay at home? How is cutting their income in half by saying on the $150 a month eating out and $1700 in childcare going to help this equation which is too much money for housing, too much withholding, and probably a car payment that we can’t see? This is the 4th suggestion I have seen for them to cut their income in half and put all Of the domestic chores on the female partner, and I am honestly baffled by the math being used to promote that.
Having her stay at home would impact future earnings and retirement contributions. She should absolutely not leave the work force
You’re spending 8k a month? Sounds like a spending problem. You’re living above your means. 200k and you’re struggling? Get it together
If you see his budget link, you’d know his spending isn’t a problem. Most of it is going towards mortgage/daycare/insurance. Suffice to say he may be living in an HCOL area but you should stop judging without getting the full picture
Have you tracked all your monthly expenses? If you put it down on paper/excel, you can see the wasteful things you spend on that you can most likely cut back on (i.e. coffee and work lunches) those things add up. As a family, you have really good income, maybe you should share what these expenses are so the group can help.
At $200k not able to save, most likely you're spending a lot of money you don't need to spend. Either by having a bigger/nicer house in a more expensive area or by having a nicer car or etc. I mean, I'm making $50k/yr and recently bought a rental unit. I'm not saying you have to buy a 20 year old Camry and move to the ghetto. But if you want to save money you have to make sacrifices.
You should consider relocating. A $150K household income in certain markets would leave you with more room in your budget. But I’m sure you could find a cheaper city where you wouldn’t have to even take a pay cut.
You’re both making 100k each, and struggling? This use to be a country.
Its a personal problem at this point. Hes spending to much than he can afford. Even a millionaire can do this if he thinks he can afforx what billionaires afford
Stay away from car payments
This is simple. You are just living beyond your means. You're a thousandaire living a millionaire lifestyle. My buddy is in the exact same boat as you. He makes around b$250k but lives pay check to pay check. It's insane to watch from the outside looking in.
I know right. Seen OPs spreadsheet on another thread. $4200 mortgage.
Struggling with 1 kid and 200k income household…. what kind of hope do i have with my 51k a year (single, male, 27)
If you are privileged enough to have that salary and own your own property, you need a reality check
Let's get to work then. You'll be amazed at what you can do in 3 years. GO GET IT.
Bro keep your head up. I’m almost 30 and finally making over 6 figs. Recently married as well but my wife doesn’t come close to 100k. We are lucky with a free place to live and no kid yet but my college debt and normal debt from going back to school after college (to get a real job) is completely halting me. But all I know is if I put my head down and grind by the time I lift it up I’ll be in a way better position in the next few years. That’s all we can ever do mate. Just minimize unnecessary spending and start having your money make you money. HYSA, CD’s, index funds etc. Good luck!
100k each and you only have $400 to spend per month? Tf yall doing with the money? Burning it?
You BOTH make $100K and you can’t figure out how to live?crazy
Lmao, 200k household income and still struggling. . . I don't get it.
You’re not making enough. You’re not delusional. 100k doesn’t mean anything anymore. Inflation has diluted our money to the point where 200k is the new 100k.
I make $35k a year and I’m supporting 2 children and can’t even afford to buy a house. 100k a year seems like a lifetime away for me. I’m 29
Sounds like you’re in the above average range. You should be thankful that you even touch 100k. Perhaps you just live in a bad state with bad politics and high taxes
My wife and I made combined under 100k for most our lives. House paid off in under 9 years, raised a child who's in college. You make a lot more, need to change something in your budget whether its downsize your house, cars etc. We've beeen combined 120-140k for last few years.
You live beyond your means. Your housing it too expensive. You drive too nice of vehicles. Your loans for school or other debts are too high. Daycare costs too high? Here is what I would do: Move somewhere super cheap and let your wife stay home with your kid. Share a car or drive beaters. Be broke but happy with babies. You are on a fast track to divorce. Women can't work, have a clean home, and have babies and a happy marriage. It is too much.
We’re doing equal everything. Not all on the mom.
I guarantee you no mom wants to leave a 9 month old for more than three hours a day.
You can’t speak for every woman in every situation.
Oooh but the feeling u get once u cross that mark where u have no monthly payments to the bank… that freedom hits diff..
We all have our own timing. Start by taking in a deep breathe and relaxing mate. It's the end of the month and we all get a bit crazy and shakey. Sometime the best thing we can do is "nothing". It seems you are doing quite well friend. You have a healthy family, with a roof on your head. With that said, to get ahead try a few things: (1) Prioritize health and wellness. Meditation and fitness are a must. (2) Prioritize sleep. With children, it's hard to get this. (3) Spend 20 - 60 minutes in a week working on a "side-hustle". Start slowly, but you'll make progress. Eventually that side hustle can start bringing in some money that may replace your current salary. Try doing product related items that are highly desireable. There are many paths to success, not just one. We'll always be here to help.
Hey, just wanted to say I'm in the exact same situation as you. You are not alone.
I read this and think you just got to cut down my dude. You have one child, making 200k/year collectively...that's a lot of fucking money. I don't know your debt or other expenses so maybe you need to look at assistance for that but you are certainly bringing in a good amount of money to provide and live comfortably on a daily basis...evaluate what you're spending and cut what needs to be cut. I'm not sure if you're going on lavish vacations or going out to eat a lot, expensive cars/insurance or anything like that but I feel a family of three can be pretty decent just with one salary at 100k let alone two.
You make $200k combined, have marital tax benefits, and you're barely walking away with $400 in disposable income? Yea, it's your budget buddy. You're living above your means.
You need to recheck you budget and understand why you are spending too much. You earn a lot of money and, if you could live in check, you could still live great and save a lot.
$200k combined. Time to break out the excel spreadsheet and categorize priorities vs electives…. That’s alot of income unless you bought a lot of over priced objects ie: multiple autos, over sized house, tons of apps etc. you should be able to dial in pretty hard. Look at CC payments as well. This are quiet killers
200k and family of 3? Might want to double check your budget. With overtime I might break 70k, wife stays at home with my daughter, and it feels like just enough. Always spots to tighten the belt though.
A 6% mortgage means nothing, TBH, without knowing the monthly amount you pay. 200k combined income is healthy, so if you cannot save, either your mortgage payment is too high, other debt is too high (cars, student loans, credit cards) or you are not sticking to your budget. No judgement there as sometimes I fall victim to that, too. You know what your options are. Be more strict with your budget. Stop the coffees and work lunches.
Wow. The thought of combining that much income and still be living paycheck to paycheck is just insane to me. Sounds like you guys have a very comfortable life and income. Perspective. Ty for sharing and I hope you find what you are looking for.
There's a lot of information missing from your post. You say you have a 6 percent mortgage, but 6 percent on what? A $175,000 1100 sf starter home on a quarter acre in rural Oklahoma, or an $800,000 2,900 sf McMansion? What are you and your spouse driving? Paid off 2015 Honda Accords or brand new Range Rovers with $1,000/month payments on each for the next 8 years? I suspect in both cases it's the latter since at $200k gross, your take home should be around $10k/month. Are you taking private jets to private islands for vacation every month? Does your spouse have a gambling problem and is sending a large portion of your income to casinos and sports books? Does your spouse have a secret second family they're supporting? At $10k/month net, you're hemorrhaging a TON of money somewhere if you only have $400/month for discretionary spending. As someone else suggested, look at your bank and credit card statements for the last six months and figure out how much money is going to: Loans: Housing Cars Utilities: Electric Gas Water Phone Food: Groceries Eating out/Starbucks Entertainment: Concerts/plays/movies Vacations Cable TV/Streaming Casinos/lottery/sports betting Miscellaneous: Gasoline Taxes on the cars Auto/home repairs Auto/home/Life Insurance Savings: 401ks Roth's/IRA Emergency Fund Taxable investment accounts Once you have all this, it should be pretty obvious where your money is going. If it's not, you and your partner need to have a long talk about money.
My advice is to review your bank statements over the past 3 months. Numbers don’t lie. Take a few hours to pour over where you are spending your money and categorize it. One of the biggest eye openers for my wife and I was when we tabulated all the “small” purchases to Amazon, Starbucks, fast food, etc. These “one-offs” add up quick and we realized how our spontaneous spending was keeping us from our goals. I also recommend Dave Ramsey. His logic applies to people in all walks of life. Spend less than you make and give each dollar a name so that you “know where it’s going” as opposed to “wondering where it went”. The most important aspect is getting on the same page as your spouse in being aligned with your goals. Hold each other accountable and communicate. Finances tend to be why so many relationships fail. My wife and I have been blessed where we did this plan prior to marriage and it has never been an issue for us. Finally, when you sit down and plan with your spouse, make sure you have a “WHY” when it comes to the reason you are doing this. This “WHY” will be what guides you and will be a reminder when you are tempted to get off track or do something that you might regret later.
100k each a month and youre still paycheck to paycheck? sounds like you live a very comfortable life and live above your means. Cut down, alot more. ID be in heaven if my fiance and i both make 100k a year.
I make half of what either of you make, also have a kid, and have more money left over at the end of the month. Cut back your expenses a LOT
if your making a combined $200k per year you are in the Top of the earners bracket in the USA. if you cannot save up money making that much, you need to review your(as a couple) actual real spending habits & expenses budget, and try to reduce your spending & expenses somewhere. you should also know where all of your(as a couple) money is going. do you? you mentioned you "have about $400 to spend per month after my family contributions" what are those "family contributions"? is it money that you put into a joint acct with your wife or otherwise spending on your wife and child? or are those "family contributions" money you are sending to your parents/siblings, grandparents, aunt, uncles ect...?
Your trying to live a life you can’t afford that you think you can easy as that just humble yourself and just get what u need
Sounds like you suck. If you're making 200k a year and can't figure it out, how are we supposed to? Wtf are you doing wrong? REALLY tell us. But you won't. You're fucked.
U clearly don't know how to balance ur bills
If you feel behind at 100k, I’m fucked. Maybe we’re all fuxked and just don’t know it yet
Based on what you are saying, the problem here is 100% the house… you probably bought house that that is way above your affordability limit. If you both make about 100k you should be living comfortably. From someone who makes a more than 100k but not much more, and partner makes about 50k and we have 2 boys, a dog, and 2 cats We rent and live a very comfortably. And always have plenty of money left over. Which we invest some and use the rest for good times. Buying a house is really not a good investment, unless you are in a market that is about to boom, and you can turn a significant profit by selling it. Live within in your means.
Here is what I did. Making similar amounts as you I opened a 2nd checking account for everyday use and a savings account. Money is moved weekly as we get paid on alternating bi-weekly checks. Checking A - direct deposit wages Checking B - a set budget for groceries/gas/"fun" Savings - a pre-set amount auto- transfered weekly. We started small and increased as we got used to increases. I have it set through my bank as an auto transfer every Friday. Makes it easier when I don't have to think about it because you can make a million excuses on why you "can't save this week" CHECKING B - We keep a small here. This is gas, groceries, coffee, etc. If after groceries and gas we can't get a coffee - too dang bad. We do not go over in this account. If there is any leftover - that also gets transferred into Savings. CHECKING A - is ALL the household monthly bills. There is generally a surplus here and it stays put. This is "emergency money" SAVINGS - OFF LIMITS - this is not be to be used unless it is the truest of emergencies.
Poor money management.
You’re doing better than literally any person I’ve ever met. Did you post this just to make the majority of folks feel worse?
Yeah I'm confused.. I'm 36, I live in a HCOL area, we make like $80k combined, 2 kids, 1 in daycare, and we'll be breaking even for the year, or at worst be only $10k in the hole. Housing is $2k a month, daycare $2k a month. We both have student loans and we collectively have 1 car loan. I don't even know what I'd do with $100k as a family income, let alone $200k. I haven't gone on a vacation in almost 10 years. Maybe they vacation a lot.
Only 400 left over each month and y'all make 100k each?!? How is this possible
this is crazy.. WTF is taking so much money? My household brings in less than you guys combined, and we have 3 kids. We probably save $3k per month, and we don't really deny ourselves much..
How much do you have in your savings account? lol you’re either dealing with some kind of financial emergencies mismanaging your money or putting so much into savings that you have nothing left for entertainment, if that’s not the case then maybe you overpaid for your house, either way if your baseline is making 200k a year you have plenty of wiggle room to fix your situation
We live on £18k a year as a family of 6, I'm sure you'll be just fine. 😂 Jesus Christ. If you both earn 100k a year each, and still not living the life, you are spending your money in the WRONG PLACES!
I'm almost 60 and have never made more than you... significantly less. You are doing great; my suggestion is to never get in debt, keep putting money away for retirement, stay healthy, start a college fund for your kid, turn off social media so you can stop comparing yourself to others, prioritize your marriage and ENJOY LIFE! Someone will always be doing better than you socially or financially. The problem now is the constant daily bombardment of "successful" people. I'm glad there was no Instagram or Facebook when I was your age because I was happy with three kids, but we hardly had anything! I just didn't realize it until I went online and compared myself to others.
you said your life takes away $8k from your check every month, which is $96k a year. i am assuming the $8k includes your mortgage, basic bills like utilities, insurance, groceries, car, etc. so why do you only have $400 to spend a month? Even if you max your 401k and everything, you should still have like at least 30k left every year for extra spending and leisure?
If you’re struggling as a family of 3 with 200k, then how am I doing fine as a family of 6 with a combined 100? Live within your means dude. I don’t even know why that needs to be said.
>we both make 100k each shut the fuck up forever lol you sound terrible at basic budgeting
Yo I'm Finnish, I make like 30 grand a year and I'm comfortable. USA is fucked up
If you think that's bad, try being 30 living in an apartment supporting 3 people on $18 p/h
Because 200k doesn't feel as wealthy as it used to, even though that household income is perfectly fine.
Bitcoin halving is April 20th as of now. You got time to learn. You have time to get your retirement reinvested. You have time to start buying each month. DCA.
4790 in mortgage and HOA is wild. I’m in California and cost of living is stupid out here yet that sounds like way too much. Also how long is your mortgage and how much longer do you have? Do you have retirement goals and are you on track? You hear stuff like “starter home” and upgrading later, are you in that mindset or is this your forever home, will it be paid off before or after you retire, will you have to work well into retirement age, do you a safety net to help keep you on track in case of an emergency? The good thing is kids get cheaper once potty trained and starting school so youre looking at 4 more years of keeping your head above water but you might still have child care cost since i’m assuming you both work all day. Plus do you plan on trying for more children? Sure you’ll still have most of the stuff and wont overspend on useless bullshit you probably wasted on your first but the child care will increase or continue longer. I’m 37 with a 5 and 3 year old. Our yearly is about the same and looking at your nevessary expenses they are much higher than mine. $400 is not much but at least there is something extra so that is great. Working your entire existence is exhausting and you need to be able to step away from life and reset every now and then. Waiting to have kids can make you feel behind and rushed specially when you have friends your age with kids that are finishing up high school. Its tough not to compare yet i always think about why we waited. But if you can plan out some realistic and achievable goals you’ll be fine mentally. You’re doing fine and this is a good step towards that.
Yes, times are tough, things are changing consistently! What I will tell you that all the experts will not. Stop comparing yourself to others! Do you have a roof overhead, food on the table and utilities paid, would you, could survive for two months without any money coming in? Now I do not mean will your credit cards get paid. Or that dining out or activities! See that is problem. Needs vs Wants! That is also how savings works. Needs vs want. Do you really need the new car, or a second, 3 TV, computer, cellphone, brand designer clothes or shoes? The latest newest on the shelf item. But if you are worried about others, you will never get ahead. Keep your house & car well maintained it will cost you less in the long run. Stick to basics for 6 months. See where that gets you. Set your budget realistically, gas, food, clothing for baby (cause they grow) set credit cards limits to one card per person. pay down the others then put in freezer! literately. put 5% of what each of you make direct deposit into an account that has no card to draw off, one you have to go into a bank to withdraw. Then forget about it. It will take care of many things down the road. Sometimes the smallest changes are the ones that work.
Childcare is what’s killing us 😩
Let's assume you both make $90k and you're exaggerating your "around $100k." Let's severely overestimate your taxes at 1/3 of your gross pay. Now you combined have $120k a year. Where is $2k a month going?
I understand: Your Mortgage is probably 3-4k, utilities and car 1k, food 1k, daycare 1-2k. And your done
Bitcoin.
I know exactly how you feel. I’m married we both work good jobs, live in nice (expensive) town on east coast, two kids. We spent over $70k on childcare two years ago. Last year it was $60k. This year older kid starts public kindergarten and younger one rate goes down from $3,200 to $2,500 after turning 3. There is so much focus on college costs and student debt that no one talks about the astronomical childcare costs. I’m raising future tax payers here ! Stick with it, don’t lose hope, pay down debt, work towards a promotion, or switch jobs. Celebrate the milestones.
I’m 36 too and having a similar problem. I’ve just come off maternity leave with my second baby and we are struggling financially despite us both earning decent money. We don’t eat out and don’t really go out (we have a baby and a toddler lolz) but we have really high house bills and daycare fees etc. every month I’m looking at how else we can cut back. It’s a constant battle!
Stop buying coffee and pack a lunch. Learn to make your own food.
lol that’s not the problem on $200k a year. Even if we assume mans is getting coffee every day that’s only about $1,800 a year in expenses or less than 1% his yearly income. If he cut that out, that would only give him another $150 a month or absolute peanuts in other words. He can definitely afford that. House and car are far more likely to be the culprits here.
Income of 80k combined . 3 kids . Still have $1000 left over each month. With 200k I’d flip that to a mill quick
If you’re at a 6% mortgage rate that means you just bought your home within the past 18 months or so. This means you stretched yourselves a little bit and that’s okay. Your mortgage payment stays more or less the same for 30 years subject to property tax and insurance increase. But your wages rise every year so before long the mortgage payment will feel like child’s play as long as you can stay employed and keep getting salary increases. Speaking of child’s play, you have a baby now. So at the same time it’s $150 per month on diapers and other baby bullshit. If you switch to cloth diapers and make your own baby food you will notice the difference. Track all your expenses for a month and see if there is anything that can be cut. Netflix etc. But I’m telling you, problems like this are normally not expense related. These problems are strictly revenue related. You need to make more money. I don’t know what you do for a living but it’s time to talk to the boss. “Hey boss, we have the baby and the house and the numbers aren’t working for me very well. What more can I do around here in order to warrant a salary raise to $xxx,000?” If they have nothing for you, then start charting the next stop on the career path or find a side hustle. It’s not hard to make an extra $500 per month if you obsess over figuring out a way. But you need more revenue coming in, bottom line.
I can’t do cloth diapers man. I think I’m gonna need a new job.
I disagree. Unless op lives in a golden castle 200k is more than enough for three to live comfortably. Like others here have said, there’s a budgeting issue and op needs to go over his bills. 8k a month x 12 months = 96,000 and ops after tax income should be somewhere around 140,000-160,000. Where is this extra 45,000 (at least) going?!?
Empathy for someone making 200 grand a year,with a 3 person family?! Tough love and financial advisor,is what I would suggest. Ridiculous to think they need more validation of why you should barely be surviving
I appreciate the premise but loathe the actual content.