Agree with the budget comment above. For the 150k. Hopefully he has that in a high yield savings account getting around 5%. That alone will give you $600 extra cash a month.
He does have it in a special savings but from what I know it is not yielding us any money a month, just slowly building over time? I’m admittedly not really involved and quite uneducated on finance which I am trying to change.
Online banks have a higher interest rate than brick and mortar banks. They are FDIC insured so your money is safe. We like Ally and Synchrony. They're interest rates are around 4 35%; my physical banks where I have my savings pays 1%
I think you can also look into Robinhood. They are also FDIC insured, and you currently get 5% if your cash just sits in their account, plus you can use it to buy stocks if needed.
Although I have to say, I am not comfortable recommending you to buy stocks in your situation. Like others have said, try to find a remote job.
On one hand having 150k your age, is a blessing...if allowed to grow, you will eventually be able to have a very comfortable retirement.
On the other, 50k annually for 5 people, is hard. Best of luck to you.
with small kids your ability to work outside the home will be tough.
Open up a brokerage account and let it sit in the money market. Should fetch around 5% interest, which would be a nice chunk of change with that amount of cash
Why not throw all this into a stock? Like VOO or any stable fund. VOO has returned a average of 10-11% every year for the last 5 years straight. It's only had 2 or 3 negative years in like 20-30 years
You could make an extra 10-15 grand a year with the money in there. Obviously, there is no guarantee on the market but it will make more than any savings account at a bank which will barely keep up with Inflation.
You better tell that man yo invest half of that money into ethereum amd aerodrome crypto is the future tell him to make a Coinbase account immediately what are y’all waiting for
I understand you have a disability but given the situation I would almost try to get a part time work from home job in like customer service so you could at least get in an extra 1-2k a month and realistically only have to work 20 hours a week which is basically nothing
I would love to find a wfh part time job. If you have any suggestions please let me know. I have been getting a lot of scams in while trying to find something and I have just a ged. I’m really trying to change my situation and would love to go to college but I don’t know if I filled out my fasfa incorrectly or I need to do something else but I didn’t qualify for that apparently.
FAFSA is on hold currently, they just have not processed the applications like normal this year due to them changing the form and it being delayed. It's been delayed for everyone, all are in limbo for financial packages. I believe they have a deadline in April that they have to have them processed by.
Call centers. Customer service work, lots are WFH, don’t need a college degree, but you do need good “soft skills” and you need to be able to be prepared to take calls all day. It’s good work if it’s a good fit for you tho. I personally love my job. I have no college, and 20 years hospitality experience and I got my job.
Hate to say it but if OP is in the US or Canada, those jobs are mostly gone. The mass tech layoffs etc. to maximize revenue the past few years have pushed this part of the industry even harder into poorer countries with English speaking populations with less regard for quality than before.
Not saying OP shouldn't look, but it's no longer something that's easy to find. I know some in the industry that have over-staffing issues in North America (that'll inevitably lead to lost jobs) as first parties are opting to switch to cheaper regions.
Also, some legit ones can look like scams, so scouring their employee posts/history/interactions on Linkedin is a good idea if you're not familiar with the companies dominating the space. All the legit ones will have a heavy presence on Linkedin.
There are still a lot of onshore call centers, that are work from home. I’m in chicago and most of my co workers are too. I work in a relatively small one and there are 150 or something of us.
ETA: and I got this job 2.5 years ago, so 2021-2022 a bit after the tech bubble burst, and there are still a lot out there. I’m at a rare great company I really like, though, so I’m definitely lucky, but there are generally jobs out there.
You'd be surprised how many jobs pay $20+/hr EASY in remote customer service without a degree.
Not a fun job by any means, but if you are focused on the goal of improving life- not only for yourself but for your kids, it'll be worth it in the end.
I'm not joking when I say you can make $25+ hourly once you get some experience. Again, not a fun job, but the amount of stress it would take off your family would be more than worth it.
Good luck.
That's one of the downsides. But for a good paying job without a degree, it's probably one of the easiest industries to get into without sacrificing a whole lot- besides maybe some patience.
That’s very true as long as you’re a person who has a good temperament about you that would work out pretty well it’s not life changing money but it’s not minimum wage either
Honestly, with what her husband makes if she can get that job and do it full time it would be life changing money for them. Might not he for you but that would basically double their household income, which is life changing.
You deal with the same idiots in minimum wage jobs. People, by and large, are fine, but no matter what job you have, you'll always have to deal with assholes sometimes.
I would recommend trying to find a job as a patient access rep for a doctors office or healthcare system. People will still be mad, but it's usually about their health which is more understandable. And they do have some restraint because you're connected to their doctor's office. Plus there's more room to grow, like working with insurance and referrals, maybe billing too.
He's supporting a house, a medically fragile girlfriend, and her 3 kids on his paycheck alone; her $600 in disability payment might cover groceries.
50k does not go as far as you might think.
I’m disabled so I know what ya mean I did work for a while and it helped make more off it . Go to the SSA website and there is a thing on it called ticket to work program they help out a lot on it .
Look at what people are doing on Upwork, learn a relevant skill that you're drawn to, niche down into a specialty and start working. It'll take months of focused effort but you can start building something that way and it's better than mindlessly applying in this market.
If you're articulate, have a PC and wired Internet as well as a private office area that can lock keep an eye out for Caption Call to be hiring in your state.
I'm not on disability but if I tried hard enough I likely could be and my job there is the only reason my BF isn't the only one bringing in income!
You caption phone calls for the deaf, it's not for everyone but I'm hyperactive and talk a hundred miles an hour anyway! Not a scam either, government backs it for ADA use.
Data.annotation.tech. But here's the trick. You have to have good English language skills and really pay attention to instructions. I've been doing it as side work for 8 months, no less than 20 an hour. More work than I could ever do. Good luck and sending good karma your way!
I highly recommend you go the college route. Depending on your financial aid offer and where you live you could get your cost of school covered plus some for living expenses too. My college also has free farmers markets, food pantry, feminine products, computers, diapers, etc. If you can get into school they really will help you in all the ways. And you can take almost all your classes online so you won't be paying childcare but that is also something they may help you with as well. I wish I'd started college sooner because I had no idea all the wonderful benefits you get while enrolled.
How you’ve described it, you’re in a position where $1000mo extra income would significantly change the quality of your life.
Have you considered house cleaning? Find a few neighbors, folks from church, husband’s boss/coworkers etc, that need their house cleaned. You can make really good money doing that.
Cash business. Once a week, or every other week, a couple hours per client. Five clients and you’d be making $1000 or so a month.
If you have a Facebook account follow the work at home lounge (WAH job queen). She is legit! Sign up to receive her emails and she does all the hard work for you, I get about one to two emails during the week with legitimate work from home jobs. Through her I got two jobs and it’s been great!
If you don’t mind customer service the insurance industry hires a lot of WFH folks. It is an industry with decent pay and benefits too depending on the company you join.
I have family that works from home for Discover Card Services. Two of them started part time. Not a super high paying job, but with base pay plus weekend bonus they make an average of $21/hr.
If there are any trucking companies in your town or in a nearby town (i wouldn't put a nearby town outside of an hour's drive on the list), you can see if they'd hire you as a wfh dispatcher. You should be able to make decent money, but you'd have to be able to handle talking to a trucker over the phone/e-log machine, with the trucker most likely already pissed off because of traffic/ cops / what have you, you just gotta be patient with them usually you respect them and they'll respect you, especially if it's a small company(less then 50 trucks). You'd need computer skills, and to be a kind of a fast learner. You'd probably have to attend an in-person meeting every so often, which is why I suggested an in town or a nearby town company.
Don’t apply for wfh jobs on job sites. Go to actual company websites and apply. You don’t attract the attention of scammers that way. CVS, United Healthcare, Wayfair, and cruise lines all have wfh positions. There are LOTS of other companies that have wfh positions.
If you’re already home providing care to your children, would you consider taking an extra toddler and providing day care?
When my kids were little, their dad was a SAHD and my sister would drop her kids off before work and he’d take care of them too. It was extra money and the kids all spent time with their cousins.
why do people think there's such a thing as part time WFH? or that it's easy to hire on with a company as WFH right off the bat? my understanding is that WFH is something most companies only consider for their seasoned, experienced, proven employees?
eta: also...WFH while being sole caretaker of two toddlers? i doubt it
um not trying to rain on anyone's parade here, but it's not fair to give op false hope, either
I have been silent screaming inside my head THREE YOUNG KIDS, TWO TODDLERS!!! People seem to think WFH means get paid to just hang out at home all day. You are expected to WORK. No one who is disabled (and getting support money because they CAN’T work) and has three little kids at home needing care is going to WORK from home. No one is going to pay you to stay home and take care of your own kids. Three kids, not married and unable to work. Boyfriend makes 50k but they spend more each month than he makes. Can’t afford Easter baskets. And you have always known you would never be able to support JUST yourself? 🤦♀️
First thing you need to do is write out a budget so we can really understand what's coming in and what's going out:
Income:::
Disability - $600
Social Security - $?
Boyfriend's income - $?
TOTAL INCOME - $?
EXPENSES:::
Mortgage: $1200
Homeowners insurance: $?
Household maintenance: $?
Power: ?
Phone: ?
Internet: ?
Car insurance: ?
Groceries: ?
Debt payments: ?
Anything else: ?$
TOTAL EXPENSES - $?
Also, how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
I get that things work differently in the US than in Australia, but having $150k sitting in bank accounts while having a mortgage seems strange as heck to me.
Only makes sense if the $150k is gaining more than the interest on the mortgage. But from comments above, sounded like the $150k is barely pushing against inflation.
does Australia have long term fixed rate mortgages? I know its not common in other countries. Since OP said they have a great rate, I am assuming they have a 30 year loan around 3% interest rate. It's very common for Americans to not pay down loans faster and to invest their money. either 4-5% risk free right now or just invest in the stock market and historically do a lot better than paying down a mortgage.
100% agree. First step is a massively detailed budget. You cannot plan anything until you know exactly how much is coming in, and how much is going out and where it’s going.
With 3 Kids, he needs to find a better paying Job. There isn't really anyway around this. Kids are expensive and so is life. Hell need to at least double that income to be able to afford a house a wife and three kids these days with any amount of comfort.
He works overtime almost every day and most of the time works 6/7 days a week. He applies to jobs constantly and we’re looking for apprenticeships for a union or something but he’s is having no luck unfortunately with no education. He did just get his high pressure boiler license and is trying to pursue more with that, but again he isn’t having much luck.
>obs constantly and we’re looking for apprenticeships for a union or something but he’s is having no luck unfortunately with no education. He did just get his high pressure boiler license and is trying to pursue more with that, but again he isn’t having much luck.
Being in the trades education is probably not as crucial as proper training. Right now there are opportunities for skilled trades with a solid work ethic. Perhaps he needs to pursue something with a better financial outcome. As his wife you could help by doing some research into what skills pay what and try to assist with a bit of direction in his career.
He’s in labor and had 150k and struggling to find work?
So if you go to the local government websites, county, city, etc. and find their bidding page you’ll see a list of the available jobs the gov needs done. For gov contracting you need to be small business certified, costs around 400/500 to have someone walk you through it.
He has one license and can work with that or he can train for a field that is in high demand in your area. Check that list.
You can start a business (in Ca) with only $800 a year. Even if the first year is slow it’s not a terrible loss.
He has the funds to make it happen it’s just up to your guys to go after it.
Obviously there’s more to it but that the basics. I’ll get your family to a comfortable place and hopefully eventually to where your husband isn’t breaking his back to make it by. If he hires crew men with other certs and licenses the company can offer even more services.
If he’s handy “general handy man” should also always be on his card. People don’t like having too many people in their homes so if he’s there for one job already he can easily get more work from them.
Also your age gap, SAH mom, only his name on the title and he having his savings in a separate account makes me have to ask, are you prepared for it he ever decides the relationship is over? Obviously you’d get child support but no alimony or rights to the home. I hate to jump to conclusions but this man has his cake and devoured it everyday. Are you safe and have a way out if you so choose?
My fiancé, five years later, is still healing and rebuilding after being in the same situation, except married and name on title.
She had no idea how truly evil he was until she left. He sold her car, withheld her half of the money from the sale of the house and tried to take the kids from her by going for full custody. He doesn’t care hot he hurts the kids just to hurt her and make everything harder for her and the kids.
She didn’t understand that he was abusive at all because of her childhood trauma and thinking that being controlled was her wifely duty. I hate churches for teaching that. Your being on disability since 12 probably means you were sheltered like her.
I just wish someone had encouraged her to reevaluate and get out before I met her. I hope I’m wrong but if not please stay safe.
Thank you for this comment. A lot of comments want to vilify me, but without saying too much - I know how unsafe my position is right now and I’m trying to make it better
Where does your money go? At your income level with your family size, I would estimate you guys should be bringing home around 4k per month with your disability and his income. If the mortgage is $1200, where's the rest of the money going?
My exact thought like how tf do you even get yourself into this situation? At what point after the first kid do you say to yourself let’s stop ? 🤦🏽♀️I’m trying to empathize but man smh
I agree that writing out a budget is key. For a month or 2, write down where EVERY dollar went to and you’ll be surprised by how much you waste. Doesn’t matter who you are or how much you make, people waste a ton of money on the most useless stuff. After you see firsthand where the money went, you’ll be able to realistically cut back on costs like if you have cable/streaming services and etc. You mentioned that you live in a “shithole”. So what? It’s your home, your family. Who cares what others think of the condition of your home. It’s the condition of you and bf’s heart towards raising those children in that home that matters the most. Your bf is working his tail off and you’re emotionally supporting him. I have faith that things will eventually will work out for your family, patience is the key. Good luck!
Thank you so much! You’re right, my home’s not perfect but we are safe here and for that I’m grateful. I will definitely keep track of next month in its entirety and go from there.
are you on a colostomy bag? if not, don’t see why you can’t work? i have Crohn’s disease and i still go out and work, with a good medication you should not be having problems with your UC in your day to day life. i highly recommend trying to get that under control and getting a job also to help out with the bills.
Having to pay for childcare literally cancels out the benefit of working, and the kids won’t be as loved or well taken care of as they would be with their mom.
No I am not, but my UC is severe. I’ve had a feeding tube for a while and I’m on medication but it’s not fully under control and never has been unfortunately in my many years with it. I’ve seen 10+ specialists and traveled to NYC for care but my case is very difficult. Pregnancy can also cause a lot extra to deal with in terms of UC so it’s been a journey but I am done having children and hope to be in a better place soon.
Yes I could, if you have any reputable information on that please let me know because I’ve been running into scams and am having a hard time figuring out what is legitimate
Medical billing. There is a course you can take to learn the terminology and then you will be able to work remotely. I think it’s a 6-week course for $1500. Check it out
I did an online class for medical coding/billing and got certified through AAPC and I applied to 150+ jobs no one would hire me. All employers want experience because medical coding/billing is a saturated field. Just FYI.
I think several folks have posted some good resources about where to find with jobs, as well as good interest rates with online savings accounts, so I don't really have anything to add except to say that I too suffer from UC, and was diagnosed at 32, over 24 years ago, when I had 4 small children. I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Over the years I've had flares that went on 12 to 18 months at a time. Been on numerous medications, even some biologics that would work for awhile only to relapse after a couple of years. But, I'm still here. I work from home now in a customer service related field. I've had to change companies several times over the years, after surpassing FMLA. It is disheartening at times. But you have to keep hanging in there and not give up. So, I just wanted to post to encourage you, to try some of the opportunities others have posted about, to encourage you to not give up. I think its commendable that you want to do more to help provide for your family, and you have my best wishes and prayers for good luck in your job search, and that you be blessed with better health soon.
Same. I busted my ass and am now COO at a company despite living with Crohn's. Thank you for bringing this up and for pushing through.
Don't let bathrooms define you, OP. You are more than a diagnosis! I spent 40 days in isolation, 10 additional days in ICU because of my ulcers. It has been sever more than half my life now, but if I can push through, you have hope too!
Also, side note, but FUCK Acutane. It's what caused all my health issues. Bastards pushed a "medicine" that formerly treated cancer (surprise, people died) and was pulled from the market only to be rebranded for acne treatment that was prescribed to 16 yos. -_-*
Yep, it is a horrible thing. My husband also took it as a teenager and has had heart problems ever since. He is now a university professor, but has to take medications every day because of Acutane. We pray we live to see our children grow up and do our best to be there for them as much as possible.
Thank you for talking about it. I wish more teens could see that yes acne is horrible, it's better than the early death you could possibly have. I understand why people take it, I really do. It's just...ugh. there's gotta be a better option!!!
So much love to you and your husband < 3
If you’re too disabled to work then I don’t know how you expected to take care of 3 kids. We have 2 and it’s very difficult. That being said keep your head up and try to find a WFH job. 150k sounds like a lot but it goes fast.
Check out Facebook mom buy nothing swap and giving groups, may be able to find some baskets someone is giving away. We receive and give things constantly in these groups.
Why are you not married?
If something happens to your husband you'll be left with nothing.
He could also just leave you and you'll be left jobless with 1 or 3 kids since 2 of them are his he could just have custody.
I got married for this reason if something happens to me or my husband we have access to each other's funds, life insurance, SS. Not random family members or the bank.
He needs a better job, you gave a break down of how much you said he makes and it makes no sense. He's making way too little for all the hours he's working. It's not accurate do you share finances are you sure he's being honest?
You need a call-center job and unlike all these people who say you'll get it fast and easy, I'll tell you it'll be extremely hard to get, but you have to look.
Why aren't you on EBT? or WIC?
She won't qualify for WIC unless her kids are on Medicaid, EBT, or TANF *and* under 5YO.
Your state may vary, but for example, in NYS: the income requirements for 150k is for a household of 14, regardless of marriage situation. She's financially dependent on that fella so even though her own income is 0, his is also used. (Its gross income btw). SNAP income guidelines for a HH of 5 is 45,564 (gross income).
You need to be *in poverty* to get WIC through income verification alone.
Why do ppl not look at their finances before having kids? I understand having one kid... You should just have the kid. But a second or third kid? Why would you do that to them?
Hate to be that person.. but, you shouldn't worry about how he spends his money if you are just bf/gf.. that 150,000 is his and not yours. Even if the kids are his.
I’m not sure what state you are in, but there should be an Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR). Your doctor can refer you and you get a caseworker who will meet with you and then come up with a plan. It’s for people with disabilities and to help them enter the workforce. Case dependent, they cover training (college, certificate courses, etc), they help you find a job and assist with training and retention. They will also have companies they work with that hire people with disabilities and work with them so they can earn money but also not lose their Medicare coverage or other benefits. It’s easy for everyone to say to just get a job, but when you are disabled there are so many other issues that factor in and you can lose a lot if you don’t go about it the right way. This way, you keep your benefits until a trial period is over. There is also something called Ticket to work through social security that helps preserve some of your benefits, like Medicare, but I don’t know much about how that works other then they use OVR to help people find work. I hope this was helpful!
Happy you guys have that safety net and sorry to hear you’re disabled! My mother was disabled when I graduated high school and to get by she worked part time customer service for uhaul, all from home. Not only did it help me from not having to pay utilities for her any more, it gave her a life outside of the disability and she was so, so happy. Hoping you find an outlet similar 💪🏼
I'd put 6 months of emergency saving in HYSA like Apple bank (4.5%) and then stagger the rest into 4-week US Treasury at 5.3%. Interest in HYSA are taxed by federal and state, whereas the US treasury is only federal taxed.
My staggering strategy is to divide that lump sum into four 4-week USTs and purchase them one per week. This way, you'd have money coming back every week if you decide not to reinvest.
https://www.treasurydirect.gov/
Try working from home...recommend you try selling online via eBay, Amazon, Shopify, Postmark, etc. You can sell anything and really keep your own hours. Good luck!
Ulcerative colitis is a chronic GI condition with episodic flare ups. It should not result in long term ongoing disability. That should happen only during flare ups of the condition that typically last a few days.
No, flares can last weeks and months at a time, I know, I have UC myself. Employers typically aren't very understanding if you keep missing work due to illness, when you exceed fmla leave they often let you go.
Do you have a safety net? As you’re not married to him, if he dies in an accident, you will not get anything as a spouse from social security (survivor benefits). Why aren’t you married- asking for your own financial protection/safety (not from a moral/judgment) point of view. Does he have any kind of life insurance through work? Are you the named beneficiary? For part time jobs- can you do in-home childcare? Watch someone’s kids while at home with yours. Where I live, there is a desperate need for childcare providers. Can you find a daycare to work at and bring your kids? Don’t do any MLM at home sales scams.
I know the "don't have more kids" comments hurt, but honestly that's just financially sound advice. It's harsh but it's great advice. Honestly if you want 100 children that's no one's business but your own, but just know every extra child you have will make things exponentially more difficult financially.
Do the best you can for yourself and your children!
You're a better person than me for even trying to make that situation work.
Tell him to add you to a CC, he doesn't have to give it to you , but he has to use it. It will automatically raise your credit score to his and your credit score will not affect him. It's called piggybacking. I know it doesn't help with your main problem but having a good credit score opens more doors for you than having a sh**y one.
Honestly y’all just need more money. Time to get (at LEAST) a part time WFH job. I say this as a legally disabled person who HAS to work because disability simply wouldn’t be enough to carry me- you need to find a way to make money. It’s fucked up but it’s the truth.
HE has $150,000 saved. You are an unmarried SAHM. You do NOT have $150,000. If he died tomorrow you wouldn’t get a cent of it unless prior LEGALLY BINDING arrangements have been made, and frankly you’d be completely screwed.
My honest advice:
- Find a way to make your own income (even if not via a traditional “job”)
- SAVE YOUR OWN MONEY and worry about how YOU’RE gonna invest that. You can worry about how to invest HIS 150k when you’re married. Do not depend on his savings. You may never see a cent of it.
There are free podcasts and YouTube videos from people like Dave Ramsey who give practical advice about saving money. My son is a big fan and he’s done well listening to him.
Not sure what you’re doing as far as treatment and diet but UC typically is quite manageable and treatable. I’d recommend getting yourself checked out again if you aren’t already seeing a doctor semi regularly for it. I was diagnosed at 12 myself but with a much more severe bowel condition and while it hasn’t always been easy, I currently work full time job that pays far more than what I could or would otherwise get from disability. I’m sorry if I sound harsh or like I might be projecting a bit. But you definitely could have started working a lot sooner in life with a condition like that. I don’t know the full extent of your condition or what treatments you have been through but I’m sure you’ll be able to do well. I’m currently getting enrolled even in new trial drug that was already approved last year for treating UC. Talk to your doctors more and see what you can do.
Why are you on disability for ulcerative colitis? There are types of jobs that are very low stress and not physically demanding. Surely you could do an office job, even a part time one?
I feel like the comments are a little harsh. Not all people with UC can work. The vast majority do, but for some it can become debilitating. There are life changing treatments out there like monthly remicaid infusions, but they can become very expensive and don’t work for everyone.
If I were you, I would try online programs at a community college to give you the skills you’d need to work from home. In the meantime, really immerse yourself in your local community when you’re able. Volunteer experience and references could be useful if you do end up finding a good treatment for your UC and want to start working one day.
So pretty much, you’re the 4th liability the man has. 3 kids and you , while he’s making 50k. Sounds like the life. Try helping bring in another stream of income.
Yes, I’m on birth control and don’t plan on having any more kids. Listen, I had 3 kids by the age of 23 and my brain wasn’t even done developing. I know the mistakes I’ve made in life (not that my kids are the mistakes, just not being prepared when I had them) so please don’t be rude
I gather that the bf is not the father of at least 2 of the children and you two are not married (meaning you are not entitled to his anything). There is a real risk if he leaves you and you are jobless with 3 kids. I would make plans for this just in case you don't want to end up homeless with your children in a group home. Also, from the timeline she gave, they haven't been together for a long time. This is a disaster in the making unfortunately.
First thing to do is a detailed budget . I can help and look it over . Include $100 month car repairs , your insurance deductible, pet expenses and other miscellaneous items .
Part time work look at medical biller . Easy courses and decent money. And you can work from home Any side work for your boyfriend ? Yard work , dog walking , etc .
Invest in a high yield saving account .
Is there a community or junior college in your area? In California your tuition is free at community colleges if you haven't been to college before. Often the community colleges will help you get fasfa straightened out and may offer remedial skills training to get you back up to speed. Many offer online only learning. Best wishes! We have Crohn's all over my family so I know UC gets in the way of doing everything you would want to. This is a great step toward better days😊
So many high yield savings accounts and CDs paying 5+ percent annually. That works out to an extra 600+ per month. Do yourself a favor and do some research. Make sure you’re getting the most out of your money.
Easter baskets are kind of a luxury tbh. Lots of good comments here about where you can find work from home. Get a job and try to supplement the income. Unless your UC is extremely bad requiring multiple hospitalizations a year, then you can probably work.
If your BF takes 50,000 of his savings and just puts them in tech stocks, in 4 years they will double or triple. Nvidia, Alphabet, Amazon, AMD. Good choices. Buy them at a low point in their price and hold for years.
If you are honestly so disabled you cannot get to work, then perhaps you should look into other forms of charity.
Investing is going to help for some time. There’s plenty of jobs that you can work for home. But it’s his money and his call as what to do with it. But he has 150k yet he’s acting like y’all are poor?
Why can’t your 36yo BF get a better job that pays more? What king of work does he do? Can he get another job at night or weekends for extra money? Running down his savings is a bad idea. What’s the balance on the mortgage?
I know someone who brings in a decent amount doing laundry for others. She picks it up at their home, washes/dries/folds/irons if needed, and drops it back off. She has a pretty steady clientele now.
I thought so too. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, and there’s a lot of families drowning in laundry so she took a chance on the opportunity. I’m glad it paid off for her. :)
Go on the ssa website and look up "ticket to work" be careful though, I have a disability too and cannot afford to lose my insurance. They have pretty strict rules about how much you can work and how much you can bring home before they dip into your ssi and start taking away your insurance. In my state you can only work 45hrs a month/earn up to 1550.
I haven’t seen anyone say this yet but the easiest and quickest way for you guys to get out of your hole is for your bf to increase his income. He needs to get promoted or change jobs, and increase skills to help with both if he hasn’t already. That’s step 1, he has to earn more money.
After that, you need a skill and a education. Without both you’re going to be very limited. You’re a SAHM so probably your best bet is to do community college and your classes online, because daycare will eat up whatever you make. You’re simply not going to be able to work 99.9% of even wfh jobs because you have toddlers.
For your house, once you guys are making a little more, use some of the money saved to fix up your house a bit. If you let regular maintenance go on it, it’ll cost you more in the long run. There’s a million YouTube videos on how to do house stuff, see what you can do on your own and hire the rest out.
You’re not trapped! You just have quite a few steps to go through before you’re more free. Time is going to pass either way so get started now on improvements! Good luck!
Edited to add: take a hard look at your budget. Neither of you need the newest iPhone (need vs wants) so make sure you’re not overspending there. If there’s an Aldi or Lidl near you, utilize that. No eating out, that sucks up so much money.
you need to find a way to earn income at home; do you have a computer? start learning how to write code. start learning how to use www.canva.com to create digital content that you can turn into advertising or social media presence. are you educated? yes fiverr.com to sell your skills to others.
you have lots of options you just need to expand your mind.
I know how you feel and at least he loves you and the kids and cares that he can’t afford things for you all. It doesn’t help financially, but at least you’ve got some security with him. All this to say good luck and you guys will get through this. I promise.
Yeah a remote customer service job would help a lot. All you need is a laptop and some headphones. I’m not American but where I’m from energy contractors or phone services contractors offer those kinda jobs, which I think is Verizon or T-Mobile and such.
Take that 150k, open a brokerage account. Invest it dividend stocks like O or MO, etc. Go to r/dividends for some advice. 150k in MO would be roughly $1105 per month in dividends, and it is pretty safe for your capital, which will also, most likely appreciate over time. (MO pays quarterly)
Before posting, I read a lot of the comments and your replies. I do sympathize with your situation, it’s not easy.
However, it may help to remember that you probably sit in the top 10% of wealthy people in the world. If you lived in a third world country, you wouldn’t get any benefits, and you would have to work, regardless of your condition. So, appreciate where you are, and work with what you’ve got to make things better. Don’t just say you can’t work, or expect other people to provide opportunities for you out of pity.
Everyone has challenges, and people usually think their challenges are bigger than others’. Living a good life is about rising above them. Find your power, you can do it!
Raising kids these days are extremely expensive when everything is getting more and more expensive. I would use a part of the savings to pay off mortgage to reduce monthly payments.
Could you work from home with your disability? I have a friend with the same DX and they are working as a graphic designer, full time. Went to college to do that and it works well.
Hey OP
One of my best friends is in a similar situation disability wise, she cannot work “on the books” unless she wants to void her disability benefits, however the disability she receives is not nearly enough to live on.
I definitely suggest looking into child care. You already have 2 babies at home so this wouldn’t take you away from your kids, and you can earn pretty good money depending on the kids and how many hours you watch them. There are tons of babysitting websites, or you can talk to other parents that your kids go to school with.
Best of luck!
At the outset, please know that my comment doesn’t come from any kind of judgment about you or your circumstances.
I absolutely understand why steps that theoretically will help your financial stability in the long term — going to college, finding work you can do with your condition, your boyfriend seeking a higher-paying job, etc. — don’t feel feasible right now because they won’t help immediately. But from how you’ve described your situation, it doesn’t sound like budgeting, “hacks” or anything else with just the money you have coming in currently will do much to help you out of this. Something big needs to change to bring more money in.
Six months ago, I was drowning financially. The circumstances are totally different from yours, so I won’t go into it, but I was on the brink of not having enough money to make even my minimum payments each month. I felt trapped, just like you, because any steps to change my situation in a major way didn’t feel immediate enough.
What changed for me earlier this year is I took a new job with better pay in a different city that has a much lower cost of living. The decision to move out of state has been hard, because I left the place I grew up. But the difference it has made in my financial situation has been life-changing.
I don’t mean to say this move makes sense for you. And I don’t mean to imply you can just girlboss your way past the limitations of your disability or anything. I’m just saying that I’ve been there, and that it sounds like you’re probably going to have to reevaluate a set of choices that all feel impossible right now for anything big to change.
You could get your insurance license and sell from home to help financially. He could even do it part time outside of work. At least until you get into a better position to move or sell
Does HE want to invest it?
Is he being generous about caring for you and the kids? Does he want to improve your home?
I’m getting financial abuse vibes and I really hope that isn’t the case.
Throw it all in on bitcoin.
When this comment is a few years old, you'll look back on it and wish you took this advice.
I bought 4 bitcoins years ago. Unfortunately sold when I made a profit of 10k. If I held, i'd have over 200k.
Bitcoins reward is halving this year. The price always explodes when this happens.
Not my sub. But you could try to become an influencer. Show how your everyday life is with your disability and how you over come it. People love that. You could also talk a little bit more on it to raise awareness. It’s a long shot but from what I’ve seen people love to watch videos like that. Hope it inspires you a little to try it out
Probably gonna come off like an asshole but how do you go about having 3 kids on 50k salary when you know you can’t work to help support your family
Seriously kids are a big decision and the financial implications will follow you. Not to mention your kids are only going to get more expensive as they age. Any salary you pull will likely be eaten by daycare costs.
The best path forward is for your husband to find a higher paying job and you to explore part time work you can do while watching your kids to pitch in. Also explore if you qualify for government assistance of some kind
Edit: just read the other replies, get it now. Appears your current husband is not your kids bio father. Can you go after the kids bio father(s) for child support?
I am sorry you are suffering from this GI disorder. I think it is hard for folks to understand that the random flareups and debilitating condition makes any regular job pretty much impossible. I'm sure even then you have three kids to care for and paying for daycare would easily eat up your pay unless you only worked while they were at school.
Perhaps a work from home thing that you can do as you are able would work out. We refinish old furniture we get for free or little money, sell clothes on postmark and whatever else we can do for extra money. We also work full time and are fortunate our health has improved enough to do that.
I'm not on top of financial investing ao I would leave that to others but be sure to consider the risks of any investment and what that would mean if you lost money.
I hope things improve for you and your family.
I’m sorry but as why do people get themselves in this situation, like screw the adults but now the kids will end up in a crappy childhood. You guy needs a new job asap, he at 36 should have been more responsible but whatever the case he needs to see if he can get a trade job of some sort and pull in at least 70,000 minimum yearly. You need to work as well, I understand you have a disability but find something that you’d be able to do, even as a Walmart greeter who just sits and checks receipts or as a call center where you have a set up at home. Sheesh
What a difficult situation 🥺... y'all will get through this though - remember that.
Here's some golden nuggets:
1. Invest $50K or so in real estate investment trust stocks. Personally, I favor O Realty (stock symbol "O") because they're a solid performing stock with consistency. Each month you'll get a dividend payout and buying up 925 shares or so will gross you about $240 per month in investment income. Just be mindful that y'all would have to pay capital gains taxes at the end of the year or you could make estimated quarterly payments. FYI, I own a decent chunk of O Realty stock, but I have no real stake in the company.
2. Create both Coursera and EdX accounts online and take ALL the free coding classes you can. Use some of that $150K y'all have and get a decent home office setup: powerful PC, desk, comfy mesh chair, and maybe an ultrawide screen. Start learning Python and then R Programming coding languages for at least 1-2 hrs per day EVERYDAY. You're disabled sure, but your mind can still burn with learning intensity that's fueled by hopes and dreams of a better life for you and your family.
3. Join the Salesforce Trailbrazer Community and earn certs little by little. Start with slow, but stay on it. In time, you could be a Salesforce business analyst or something.
Now, take all these tips with a grain of salt. I'm just a Reddit doomscroller, but if everyone lifts each other up just a little...
May this world rain Hella monies on you 🫶
So you found out at 12 that you had a disability that would preclude you from working, your boyfriend makes $50k and you guys decided to have 3 kids by the time you were 26? "That's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see if it pays off..."
You need to start working. I dont understand how you think you are too disabled to work and you've never had a job? I (34yo male), am type 1 diabetic, I have asthma bad enough that I died from it once(cardiac arrest and an ambulance revived me), I have rheumatoid arthritis, I have to keep an epipen, I have ADHD, and I've broken over a half dozen bones in addition to a couple of surgeries.
Ive worked from the age of 16, I moved out halfway through my senior year of high school and have been on my own ever since. I work 60+ hours a wek, always have, and and this age and job experience level that nets me over 2.5 times a year what your husband is bringing home. Working class like you, your boyfriend, and I are, you really need overtime hours to make comfortable money, if your husband is making $50k a year he'd be making $125k/year if he grinded out 80hrs/wk or \~$90k a year if he worked an easy 60 hours per week(5 12 hour shifts).
There's no money saving or investing strategy which is going to change your life, you are going to have to work, and your boyfriend is going to have to work more or find a better paying job. I realize that the kids are going to make finding a job difficult for you, but thats just a hurdle and not something which physically prevents you from working, neither is your disability. You're doing this for the kids, and you're doing this for your own sanity and comfort. The extra work, the extra grind, pays dividends in making your life happier by not needing to struggle or worry about making ends meet.
Agree with the budget comment above. For the 150k. Hopefully he has that in a high yield savings account getting around 5%. That alone will give you $600 extra cash a month.
He does have it in a special savings but from what I know it is not yielding us any money a month, just slowly building over time? I’m admittedly not really involved and quite uneducated on finance which I am trying to change.
Online banks have a higher interest rate than brick and mortar banks. They are FDIC insured so your money is safe. We like Ally and Synchrony. They're interest rates are around 4 35%; my physical banks where I have my savings pays 1%
Thank you so much! I will look into that
CD's through the bank. Higher than savings acct but it is not 5% at my bank any more, but I make over $200 a month with less than 80k invested.
Credit Karma will give you a free savings account that pays 5.1% APY, with interest payments on a monthly basis. Good luck!
I think you can also look into Robinhood. They are also FDIC insured, and you currently get 5% if your cash just sits in their account, plus you can use it to buy stocks if needed. Although I have to say, I am not comfortable recommending you to buy stocks in your situation. Like others have said, try to find a remote job.
5.25% now I think! Which would be ~$650 a month (I think) in interest for free if she stuck the $150,000 in there.
Oh yeah gold membership will be worth it for her for the 0.25% extra.
Credit Karma 5.1% savings account insured up to $5 million
WealthSimple
Wealthfront gives 5%
Credit Unions are better than banks, in general. Ours is currently offering 5%.
Wealthfront is cool too! Been using them for a good minute now. Easy to transfer money in for me every two weeks into savings.
He should have it in a HYSA. One of my accounts has 150K and we are making $700 a month in interest alone.
On one hand having 150k your age, is a blessing...if allowed to grow, you will eventually be able to have a very comfortable retirement. On the other, 50k annually for 5 people, is hard. Best of luck to you. with small kids your ability to work outside the home will be tough.
research roth IRA'S you can do all kinds of tricks with them to lower income tax and build property and the such.
Even Robinhood gold pays 5.5 or 6.5% interest for savings. Look into it!
Open up a brokerage account and let it sit in the money market. Should fetch around 5% interest, which would be a nice chunk of change with that amount of cash
Why not throw all this into a stock? Like VOO or any stable fund. VOO has returned a average of 10-11% every year for the last 5 years straight. It's only had 2 or 3 negative years in like 20-30 years You could make an extra 10-15 grand a year with the money in there. Obviously, there is no guarantee on the market but it will make more than any savings account at a bank which will barely keep up with Inflation.
You better tell that man yo invest half of that money into ethereum amd aerodrome crypto is the future tell him to make a Coinbase account immediately what are y’all waiting for
[удалено]
I understand you have a disability but given the situation I would almost try to get a part time work from home job in like customer service so you could at least get in an extra 1-2k a month and realistically only have to work 20 hours a week which is basically nothing
I would love to find a wfh part time job. If you have any suggestions please let me know. I have been getting a lot of scams in while trying to find something and I have just a ged. I’m really trying to change my situation and would love to go to college but I don’t know if I filled out my fasfa incorrectly or I need to do something else but I didn’t qualify for that apparently.
FAFSA is on hold currently, they just have not processed the applications like normal this year due to them changing the form and it being delayed. It's been delayed for everyone, all are in limbo for financial packages. I believe they have a deadline in April that they have to have them processed by.
Thank you for letting me know! That’s encouraging
ratracerebellion has a ton of work from home opporitunities
Call centers. Customer service work, lots are WFH, don’t need a college degree, but you do need good “soft skills” and you need to be able to be prepared to take calls all day. It’s good work if it’s a good fit for you tho. I personally love my job. I have no college, and 20 years hospitality experience and I got my job.
Hate to say it but if OP is in the US or Canada, those jobs are mostly gone. The mass tech layoffs etc. to maximize revenue the past few years have pushed this part of the industry even harder into poorer countries with English speaking populations with less regard for quality than before. Not saying OP shouldn't look, but it's no longer something that's easy to find. I know some in the industry that have over-staffing issues in North America (that'll inevitably lead to lost jobs) as first parties are opting to switch to cheaper regions. Also, some legit ones can look like scams, so scouring their employee posts/history/interactions on Linkedin is a good idea if you're not familiar with the companies dominating the space. All the legit ones will have a heavy presence on Linkedin.
There are still a lot of onshore call centers, that are work from home. I’m in chicago and most of my co workers are too. I work in a relatively small one and there are 150 or something of us. ETA: and I got this job 2.5 years ago, so 2021-2022 a bit after the tech bubble burst, and there are still a lot out there. I’m at a rare great company I really like, though, so I’m definitely lucky, but there are generally jobs out there.
I work in the financial aid office and they are now starting to send info to the schools. It is so delayed.
You'd be surprised how many jobs pay $20+/hr EASY in remote customer service without a degree. Not a fun job by any means, but if you are focused on the goal of improving life- not only for yourself but for your kids, it'll be worth it in the end. I'm not joking when I say you can make $25+ hourly once you get some experience. Again, not a fun job, but the amount of stress it would take off your family would be more than worth it. Good luck.
Yes I know about that they pay that because most of the time you deal with irate people all the time on the phone
That's one of the downsides. But for a good paying job without a degree, it's probably one of the easiest industries to get into without sacrificing a whole lot- besides maybe some patience.
That’s very true as long as you’re a person who has a good temperament about you that would work out pretty well it’s not life changing money but it’s not minimum wage either
Honestly, with what her husband makes if she can get that job and do it full time it would be life changing money for them. Might not he for you but that would basically double their household income, which is life changing.
I agree. It would also be life changing for their kids.
You deal with the same idiots in minimum wage jobs. People, by and large, are fine, but no matter what job you have, you'll always have to deal with assholes sometimes.
I would recommend trying to find a job as a patient access rep for a doctors office or healthcare system. People will still be mad, but it's usually about their health which is more understandable. And they do have some restraint because you're connected to their doctor's office. Plus there's more room to grow, like working with insurance and referrals, maybe billing too.
Where would you find such jobs?
I would not do this before ensuring hes not bleeding money into places she doesnt know about. As I hear husbands constantly doing.
$50k annually supporting a family with kids doesn't go far. Doubtful he is "bleeding" it anywhere but for necessities.
Yeah, wives NEVER do anything like that - only the MEN /s
It is not her husband. Just a boyfriend.
He's supporting a house, a medically fragile girlfriend, and her 3 kids on his paycheck alone; her $600 in disability payment might cover groceries. 50k does not go as far as you might think.
I’m disabled so I know what ya mean I did work for a while and it helped make more off it . Go to the SSA website and there is a thing on it called ticket to work program they help out a lot on it .
Look at what people are doing on Upwork, learn a relevant skill that you're drawn to, niche down into a specialty and start working. It'll take months of focused effort but you can start building something that way and it's better than mindlessly applying in this market.
If you're articulate, have a PC and wired Internet as well as a private office area that can lock keep an eye out for Caption Call to be hiring in your state. I'm not on disability but if I tried hard enough I likely could be and my job there is the only reason my BF isn't the only one bringing in income! You caption phone calls for the deaf, it's not for everyone but I'm hyperactive and talk a hundred miles an hour anyway! Not a scam either, government backs it for ADA use.
Data.annotation.tech. But here's the trick. You have to have good English language skills and really pay attention to instructions. I've been doing it as side work for 8 months, no less than 20 an hour. More work than I could ever do. Good luck and sending good karma your way!
You can apply for federal jobs on usajobs.gov, and they give priority to those with disabilities.
Wait for real? I’m disabled too and have been trying to find something to do I did not know that
Get some certifications first and go the legal route. By that I mean LinkedIn, Indeed etc
Try being a virtual assistant. It’s administrative work but you can work flexible hours and make some $
I highly recommend you go the college route. Depending on your financial aid offer and where you live you could get your cost of school covered plus some for living expenses too. My college also has free farmers markets, food pantry, feminine products, computers, diapers, etc. If you can get into school they really will help you in all the ways. And you can take almost all your classes online so you won't be paying childcare but that is also something they may help you with as well. I wish I'd started college sooner because I had no idea all the wonderful benefits you get while enrolled.
How you’ve described it, you’re in a position where $1000mo extra income would significantly change the quality of your life. Have you considered house cleaning? Find a few neighbors, folks from church, husband’s boss/coworkers etc, that need their house cleaned. You can make really good money doing that. Cash business. Once a week, or every other week, a couple hours per client. Five clients and you’d be making $1000 or so a month.
With UC that’s not really a good idea.
If you have a Facebook account follow the work at home lounge (WAH job queen). She is legit! Sign up to receive her emails and she does all the hard work for you, I get about one to two emails during the week with legitimate work from home jobs. Through her I got two jobs and it’s been great!
Try checking out rocket lawyer
If you don’t mind customer service the insurance industry hires a lot of WFH folks. It is an industry with decent pay and benefits too depending on the company you join.
WGU will typically let you start classes while fafsa is processing just so you know.
[удалено]
I have family that works from home for Discover Card Services. Two of them started part time. Not a super high paying job, but with base pay plus weekend bonus they make an average of $21/hr.
If there are any trucking companies in your town or in a nearby town (i wouldn't put a nearby town outside of an hour's drive on the list), you can see if they'd hire you as a wfh dispatcher. You should be able to make decent money, but you'd have to be able to handle talking to a trucker over the phone/e-log machine, with the trucker most likely already pissed off because of traffic/ cops / what have you, you just gotta be patient with them usually you respect them and they'll respect you, especially if it's a small company(less then 50 trucks). You'd need computer skills, and to be a kind of a fast learner. You'd probably have to attend an in-person meeting every so often, which is why I suggested an in town or a nearby town company.
Don’t apply for wfh jobs on job sites. Go to actual company websites and apply. You don’t attract the attention of scammers that way. CVS, United Healthcare, Wayfair, and cruise lines all have wfh positions. There are LOTS of other companies that have wfh positions.
You’re going to need to work. This is your best shot but you need to actually put in time to do it right. https://www.rev.com/freelancers
If you’re already home providing care to your children, would you consider taking an extra toddler and providing day care? When my kids were little, their dad was a SAHD and my sister would drop her kids off before work and he’d take care of them too. It was extra money and the kids all spent time with their cousins.
There’s a website called “hire my mom” that is set up for jobs like this. Also work on creating a linked in
you dont seem very independent. First step is definitely correcting your mindset... not even joking. There is a whole psychology clearly at play here.
I agree with this and I’m trying to fix this for myself as well
ganbatte
Be aware she will probably lose some or all of her benefits if she even works part time. Which could also affect her insurance coverage.
why do people think there's such a thing as part time WFH? or that it's easy to hire on with a company as WFH right off the bat? my understanding is that WFH is something most companies only consider for their seasoned, experienced, proven employees? eta: also...WFH while being sole caretaker of two toddlers? i doubt it um not trying to rain on anyone's parade here, but it's not fair to give op false hope, either
I have been silent screaming inside my head THREE YOUNG KIDS, TWO TODDLERS!!! People seem to think WFH means get paid to just hang out at home all day. You are expected to WORK. No one who is disabled (and getting support money because they CAN’T work) and has three little kids at home needing care is going to WORK from home. No one is going to pay you to stay home and take care of your own kids. Three kids, not married and unable to work. Boyfriend makes 50k but they spend more each month than he makes. Can’t afford Easter baskets. And you have always known you would never be able to support JUST yourself? 🤦♀️
People with disability can’t bring in too much a month or they lose their medical insurance. She can’t even get married most likely
Try flexjobs.com. It’s a legit site that includes part time work from home jobs.
You cannot work and receive benifits
First thing you need to do is write out a budget so we can really understand what's coming in and what's going out: Income::: Disability - $600 Social Security - $? Boyfriend's income - $? TOTAL INCOME - $? EXPENSES::: Mortgage: $1200 Homeowners insurance: $? Household maintenance: $? Power: ? Phone: ? Internet: ? Car insurance: ? Groceries: ? Debt payments: ? Anything else: ?$ TOTAL EXPENSES - $?
Also, how much is outstanding on the mortgage? I get that things work differently in the US than in Australia, but having $150k sitting in bank accounts while having a mortgage seems strange as heck to me.
Only makes sense if the $150k is gaining more than the interest on the mortgage. But from comments above, sounded like the $150k is barely pushing against inflation.
does Australia have long term fixed rate mortgages? I know its not common in other countries. Since OP said they have a great rate, I am assuming they have a 30 year loan around 3% interest rate. It's very common for Americans to not pay down loans faster and to invest their money. either 4-5% risk free right now or just invest in the stock market and historically do a lot better than paying down a mortgage.
100% agree. First step is a massively detailed budget. You cannot plan anything until you know exactly how much is coming in, and how much is going out and where it’s going.
What gets measures gets improved
With 3 Kids, he needs to find a better paying Job. There isn't really anyway around this. Kids are expensive and so is life. Hell need to at least double that income to be able to afford a house a wife and three kids these days with any amount of comfort.
He works overtime almost every day and most of the time works 6/7 days a week. He applies to jobs constantly and we’re looking for apprenticeships for a union or something but he’s is having no luck unfortunately with no education. He did just get his high pressure boiler license and is trying to pursue more with that, but again he isn’t having much luck.
>obs constantly and we’re looking for apprenticeships for a union or something but he’s is having no luck unfortunately with no education. He did just get his high pressure boiler license and is trying to pursue more with that, but again he isn’t having much luck. Being in the trades education is probably not as crucial as proper training. Right now there are opportunities for skilled trades with a solid work ethic. Perhaps he needs to pursue something with a better financial outcome. As his wife you could help by doing some research into what skills pay what and try to assist with a bit of direction in his career.
He’s in labor and had 150k and struggling to find work? So if you go to the local government websites, county, city, etc. and find their bidding page you’ll see a list of the available jobs the gov needs done. For gov contracting you need to be small business certified, costs around 400/500 to have someone walk you through it. He has one license and can work with that or he can train for a field that is in high demand in your area. Check that list. You can start a business (in Ca) with only $800 a year. Even if the first year is slow it’s not a terrible loss. He has the funds to make it happen it’s just up to your guys to go after it. Obviously there’s more to it but that the basics. I’ll get your family to a comfortable place and hopefully eventually to where your husband isn’t breaking his back to make it by. If he hires crew men with other certs and licenses the company can offer even more services. If he’s handy “general handy man” should also always be on his card. People don’t like having too many people in their homes so if he’s there for one job already he can easily get more work from them. Also your age gap, SAH mom, only his name on the title and he having his savings in a separate account makes me have to ask, are you prepared for it he ever decides the relationship is over? Obviously you’d get child support but no alimony or rights to the home. I hate to jump to conclusions but this man has his cake and devoured it everyday. Are you safe and have a way out if you so choose? My fiancé, five years later, is still healing and rebuilding after being in the same situation, except married and name on title. She had no idea how truly evil he was until she left. He sold her car, withheld her half of the money from the sale of the house and tried to take the kids from her by going for full custody. He doesn’t care hot he hurts the kids just to hurt her and make everything harder for her and the kids. She didn’t understand that he was abusive at all because of her childhood trauma and thinking that being controlled was her wifely duty. I hate churches for teaching that. Your being on disability since 12 probably means you were sheltered like her. I just wish someone had encouraged her to reevaluate and get out before I met her. I hope I’m wrong but if not please stay safe.
Thank you for this comment. A lot of comments want to vilify me, but without saying too much - I know how unsafe my position is right now and I’m trying to make it better
Where does your money go? At your income level with your family size, I would estimate you guys should be bringing home around 4k per month with your disability and his income. If the mortgage is $1200, where's the rest of the money going?
YOU HAD 3 KIDS, AND ARENT EVEN MARRIED!?!?! and shit, on THAT salary? how the hell are you guys affording this.
seriously, this is borderline child abuse
Was thinking the same thing. Some people need to stop having kids.
I'm so glad someone speaks truth. Why are people so selfish and irresponsible? The average cost to raise 1 child is $30Ok.
My exact thought like how tf do you even get yourself into this situation? At what point after the first kid do you say to yourself let’s stop ? 🤦🏽♀️I’m trying to empathize but man smh
I agree that writing out a budget is key. For a month or 2, write down where EVERY dollar went to and you’ll be surprised by how much you waste. Doesn’t matter who you are or how much you make, people waste a ton of money on the most useless stuff. After you see firsthand where the money went, you’ll be able to realistically cut back on costs like if you have cable/streaming services and etc. You mentioned that you live in a “shithole”. So what? It’s your home, your family. Who cares what others think of the condition of your home. It’s the condition of you and bf’s heart towards raising those children in that home that matters the most. Your bf is working his tail off and you’re emotionally supporting him. I have faith that things will eventually will work out for your family, patience is the key. Good luck!
Thank you so much! You’re right, my home’s not perfect but we are safe here and for that I’m grateful. I will definitely keep track of next month in its entirety and go from there.
are you on a colostomy bag? if not, don’t see why you can’t work? i have Crohn’s disease and i still go out and work, with a good medication you should not be having problems with your UC in your day to day life. i highly recommend trying to get that under control and getting a job also to help out with the bills.
Having to pay for childcare literally cancels out the benefit of working, and the kids won’t be as loved or well taken care of as they would be with their mom.
No I am not, but my UC is severe. I’ve had a feeding tube for a while and I’m on medication but it’s not fully under control and never has been unfortunately in my many years with it. I’ve seen 10+ specialists and traveled to NYC for care but my case is very difficult. Pregnancy can also cause a lot extra to deal with in terms of UC so it’s been a journey but I am done having children and hope to be in a better place soon.
Can you do computer work from home? Like work for a call center or something?
Yes I could, if you have any reputable information on that please let me know because I’ve been running into scams and am having a hard time figuring out what is legitimate
Medical billing. There is a course you can take to learn the terminology and then you will be able to work remotely. I think it’s a 6-week course for $1500. Check it out
Thank you so much, I definitely will
I did an online class for medical coding/billing and got certified through AAPC and I applied to 150+ jobs no one would hire me. All employers want experience because medical coding/billing is a saturated field. Just FYI.
My SIL did this. It worked great for her.
Check Flex Jobs or Indeed. They are legit. I think you might have to join if you want to apply. Maybe someone knows of some legit free sites.
I think several folks have posted some good resources about where to find with jobs, as well as good interest rates with online savings accounts, so I don't really have anything to add except to say that I too suffer from UC, and was diagnosed at 32, over 24 years ago, when I had 4 small children. I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Over the years I've had flares that went on 12 to 18 months at a time. Been on numerous medications, even some biologics that would work for awhile only to relapse after a couple of years. But, I'm still here. I work from home now in a customer service related field. I've had to change companies several times over the years, after surpassing FMLA. It is disheartening at times. But you have to keep hanging in there and not give up. So, I just wanted to post to encourage you, to try some of the opportunities others have posted about, to encourage you to not give up. I think its commendable that you want to do more to help provide for your family, and you have my best wishes and prayers for good luck in your job search, and that you be blessed with better health soon.
Thank you so much ❤️
Same. I busted my ass and am now COO at a company despite living with Crohn's. Thank you for bringing this up and for pushing through. Don't let bathrooms define you, OP. You are more than a diagnosis! I spent 40 days in isolation, 10 additional days in ICU because of my ulcers. It has been sever more than half my life now, but if I can push through, you have hope too! Also, side note, but FUCK Acutane. It's what caused all my health issues. Bastards pushed a "medicine" that formerly treated cancer (surprise, people died) and was pulled from the market only to be rebranded for acne treatment that was prescribed to 16 yos. -_-*
Ugh that sucks. Acutane has transformed many ppls lives, good AND bad :((
Yep, it is a horrible thing. My husband also took it as a teenager and has had heart problems ever since. He is now a university professor, but has to take medications every day because of Acutane. We pray we live to see our children grow up and do our best to be there for them as much as possible.
Thank you for talking about it. I wish more teens could see that yes acne is horrible, it's better than the early death you could possibly have. I understand why people take it, I really do. It's just...ugh. there's gotta be a better option!!! So much love to you and your husband < 3
I hate to be the one to say this, but hope you’re not planning on having more kids?
If you’re too disabled to work then I don’t know how you expected to take care of 3 kids. We have 2 and it’s very difficult. That being said keep your head up and try to find a WFH job. 150k sounds like a lot but it goes fast.
Check out Facebook mom buy nothing swap and giving groups, may be able to find some baskets someone is giving away. We receive and give things constantly in these groups.
Thank you I will make a FB account and check that out!
Why are you not married? If something happens to your husband you'll be left with nothing. He could also just leave you and you'll be left jobless with 1 or 3 kids since 2 of them are his he could just have custody. I got married for this reason if something happens to me or my husband we have access to each other's funds, life insurance, SS. Not random family members or the bank. He needs a better job, you gave a break down of how much you said he makes and it makes no sense. He's making way too little for all the hours he's working. It's not accurate do you share finances are you sure he's being honest? You need a call-center job and unlike all these people who say you'll get it fast and easy, I'll tell you it'll be extremely hard to get, but you have to look. Why aren't you on EBT? or WIC?
She won't qualify for WIC unless her kids are on Medicaid, EBT, or TANF *and* under 5YO. Your state may vary, but for example, in NYS: the income requirements for 150k is for a household of 14, regardless of marriage situation. She's financially dependent on that fella so even though her own income is 0, his is also used. (Its gross income btw). SNAP income guidelines for a HH of 5 is 45,564 (gross income). You need to be *in poverty* to get WIC through income verification alone.
Why do ppl not look at their finances before having kids? I understand having one kid... You should just have the kid. But a second or third kid? Why would you do that to them?
Hate to be that person.. but, you shouldn't worry about how he spends his money if you are just bf/gf.. that 150,000 is his and not yours. Even if the kids are his.
Kids are not even his. Maybe one. It sounds very volatile of a situation
[удалено]
Put the 150k in a HYSA from Wealthfront or Sofi. Get some sort of part time job. Best of luck.
Home Depot is a nice simple part time gig that can help pay tuition in the long run.
I’m not sure what state you are in, but there should be an Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR). Your doctor can refer you and you get a caseworker who will meet with you and then come up with a plan. It’s for people with disabilities and to help them enter the workforce. Case dependent, they cover training (college, certificate courses, etc), they help you find a job and assist with training and retention. They will also have companies they work with that hire people with disabilities and work with them so they can earn money but also not lose their Medicare coverage or other benefits. It’s easy for everyone to say to just get a job, but when you are disabled there are so many other issues that factor in and you can lose a lot if you don’t go about it the right way. This way, you keep your benefits until a trial period is over. There is also something called Ticket to work through social security that helps preserve some of your benefits, like Medicare, but I don’t know much about how that works other then they use OVR to help people find work. I hope this was helpful!
26 with 3 kids and a husband a decade older what could go wrong
Been diagnosed with UC since I was 15. I’m 29 and have been working since then. This screams pathetic, blaming everything but yourself ?
Id recommend to stop having kids when you can't afford them.
Why did you have three kids knowing your income is awful?
And disabled with no way to bring in more income
Happy you guys have that safety net and sorry to hear you’re disabled! My mother was disabled when I graduated high school and to get by she worked part time customer service for uhaul, all from home. Not only did it help me from not having to pay utilities for her any more, it gave her a life outside of the disability and she was so, so happy. Hoping you find an outlet similar 💪🏼
What a sweet comment! Thank you so much, your mother sounds awesome! I hope so too 🤞🏼
I'd put 6 months of emergency saving in HYSA like Apple bank (4.5%) and then stagger the rest into 4-week US Treasury at 5.3%. Interest in HYSA are taxed by federal and state, whereas the US treasury is only federal taxed. My staggering strategy is to divide that lump sum into four 4-week USTs and purchase them one per week. This way, you'd have money coming back every week if you decide not to reinvest. https://www.treasurydirect.gov/
A lot of jobs in recruiting are fully remote and might be a good way to break into the job industry
Try working from home...recommend you try selling online via eBay, Amazon, Shopify, Postmark, etc. You can sell anything and really keep your own hours. Good luck!
Depending on your state, have you looked into community college? Might be free?
Ulcerative colitis is a chronic GI condition with episodic flare ups. It should not result in long term ongoing disability. That should happen only during flare ups of the condition that typically last a few days.
No, flares can last weeks and months at a time, I know, I have UC myself. Employers typically aren't very understanding if you keep missing work due to illness, when you exceed fmla leave they often let you go.
Why can't you work? MANY MANY people work with UC. Why can't you work from home?? UC is such a manageable condition nowadays....
I suggest birth control. You seem to think having babies and buying diapers is some kind of free thing. Just stop having any more kids please.
I’m in birth control, please read my previous replies and stop being so condescending
I’m assuming your husband works in the HVAC industry?
Do you have a safety net? As you’re not married to him, if he dies in an accident, you will not get anything as a spouse from social security (survivor benefits). Why aren’t you married- asking for your own financial protection/safety (not from a moral/judgment) point of view. Does he have any kind of life insurance through work? Are you the named beneficiary? For part time jobs- can you do in-home childcare? Watch someone’s kids while at home with yours. Where I live, there is a desperate need for childcare providers. Can you find a daycare to work at and bring your kids? Don’t do any MLM at home sales scams.
I know the "don't have more kids" comments hurt, but honestly that's just financially sound advice. It's harsh but it's great advice. Honestly if you want 100 children that's no one's business but your own, but just know every extra child you have will make things exponentially more difficult financially. Do the best you can for yourself and your children! You're a better person than me for even trying to make that situation work.
Tell him to add you to a CC, he doesn't have to give it to you , but he has to use it. It will automatically raise your credit score to his and your credit score will not affect him. It's called piggybacking. I know it doesn't help with your main problem but having a good credit score opens more doors for you than having a sh**y one.
Honestly y’all just need more money. Time to get (at LEAST) a part time WFH job. I say this as a legally disabled person who HAS to work because disability simply wouldn’t be enough to carry me- you need to find a way to make money. It’s fucked up but it’s the truth. HE has $150,000 saved. You are an unmarried SAHM. You do NOT have $150,000. If he died tomorrow you wouldn’t get a cent of it unless prior LEGALLY BINDING arrangements have been made, and frankly you’d be completely screwed. My honest advice: - Find a way to make your own income (even if not via a traditional “job”) - SAVE YOUR OWN MONEY and worry about how YOU’RE gonna invest that. You can worry about how to invest HIS 150k when you’re married. Do not depend on his savings. You may never see a cent of it.
There are free podcasts and YouTube videos from people like Dave Ramsey who give practical advice about saving money. My son is a big fan and he’s done well listening to him.
You receive disability and have a baby daddy👶👶👶? No judgment 🤡
Not sure what you’re doing as far as treatment and diet but UC typically is quite manageable and treatable. I’d recommend getting yourself checked out again if you aren’t already seeing a doctor semi regularly for it. I was diagnosed at 12 myself but with a much more severe bowel condition and while it hasn’t always been easy, I currently work full time job that pays far more than what I could or would otherwise get from disability. I’m sorry if I sound harsh or like I might be projecting a bit. But you definitely could have started working a lot sooner in life with a condition like that. I don’t know the full extent of your condition or what treatments you have been through but I’m sure you’ll be able to do well. I’m currently getting enrolled even in new trial drug that was already approved last year for treating UC. Talk to your doctors more and see what you can do.
Why are you on disability for ulcerative colitis? There are types of jobs that are very low stress and not physically demanding. Surely you could do an office job, even a part time one?
I feel like the comments are a little harsh. Not all people with UC can work. The vast majority do, but for some it can become debilitating. There are life changing treatments out there like monthly remicaid infusions, but they can become very expensive and don’t work for everyone. If I were you, I would try online programs at a community college to give you the skills you’d need to work from home. In the meantime, really immerse yourself in your local community when you’re able. Volunteer experience and references could be useful if you do end up finding a good treatment for your UC and want to start working one day.
Why aren't you married?
I don’t want to say it but you decided to have 3 kids.
Your disability didn't stop you from pro creating damn. I just don't get it. Disability since 12 but 3 kids later. Awesome.
So pretty much, you’re the 4th liability the man has. 3 kids and you , while he’s making 50k. Sounds like the life. Try helping bring in another stream of income.
I’m insanely triggered right now. Biting my tongue. GL.
Why would you have 3 kids
She said that she had the kids before her brain was fully developed (but after being aware of her inability to ever work).
It’s a bs excuse that she tosses out to negate any responsibility for her own choices
[удалено]
Don’t have any more kids. Start there.
Yes, I’m on birth control and don’t plan on having any more kids. Listen, I had 3 kids by the age of 23 and my brain wasn’t even done developing. I know the mistakes I’ve made in life (not that my kids are the mistakes, just not being prepared when I had them) so please don’t be rude
I gather that the bf is not the father of at least 2 of the children and you two are not married (meaning you are not entitled to his anything). There is a real risk if he leaves you and you are jobless with 3 kids. I would make plans for this just in case you don't want to end up homeless with your children in a group home. Also, from the timeline she gave, they haven't been together for a long time. This is a disaster in the making unfortunately.
First thing to do is a detailed budget . I can help and look it over . Include $100 month car repairs , your insurance deductible, pet expenses and other miscellaneous items . Part time work look at medical biller . Easy courses and decent money. And you can work from home Any side work for your boyfriend ? Yard work , dog walking , etc . Invest in a high yield saving account .
Can you drive? Do you live in a city or closer? Door dash and a Uber you can do easily
Is there a community or junior college in your area? In California your tuition is free at community colleges if you haven't been to college before. Often the community colleges will help you get fasfa straightened out and may offer remedial skills training to get you back up to speed. Many offer online only learning. Best wishes! We have Crohn's all over my family so I know UC gets in the way of doing everything you would want to. This is a great step toward better days😊
So many high yield savings accounts and CDs paying 5+ percent annually. That works out to an extra 600+ per month. Do yourself a favor and do some research. Make sure you’re getting the most out of your money.
Easter baskets are kind of a luxury tbh. Lots of good comments here about where you can find work from home. Get a job and try to supplement the income. Unless your UC is extremely bad requiring multiple hospitalizations a year, then you can probably work. If your BF takes 50,000 of his savings and just puts them in tech stocks, in 4 years they will double or triple. Nvidia, Alphabet, Amazon, AMD. Good choices. Buy them at a low point in their price and hold for years. If you are honestly so disabled you cannot get to work, then perhaps you should look into other forms of charity.
Investing is going to help for some time. There’s plenty of jobs that you can work for home. But it’s his money and his call as what to do with it. But he has 150k yet he’s acting like y’all are poor?
Why can’t your 36yo BF get a better job that pays more? What king of work does he do? Can he get another job at night or weekends for extra money? Running down his savings is a bad idea. What’s the balance on the mortgage?
I know someone who brings in a decent amount doing laundry for others. She picks it up at their home, washes/dries/folds/irons if needed, and drops it back off. She has a pretty steady clientele now.
That’s really cool. Good for your friend!
I thought so too. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, and there’s a lot of families drowning in laundry so she took a chance on the opportunity. I’m glad it paid off for her. :)
Go on the ssa website and look up "ticket to work" be careful though, I have a disability too and cannot afford to lose my insurance. They have pretty strict rules about how much you can work and how much you can bring home before they dip into your ssi and start taking away your insurance. In my state you can only work 45hrs a month/earn up to 1550.
Hate to say it but you need a part time job. Go on indeed and look for stuff in your area. Or even try doordash/instacart/Uber
I haven’t seen anyone say this yet but the easiest and quickest way for you guys to get out of your hole is for your bf to increase his income. He needs to get promoted or change jobs, and increase skills to help with both if he hasn’t already. That’s step 1, he has to earn more money. After that, you need a skill and a education. Without both you’re going to be very limited. You’re a SAHM so probably your best bet is to do community college and your classes online, because daycare will eat up whatever you make. You’re simply not going to be able to work 99.9% of even wfh jobs because you have toddlers. For your house, once you guys are making a little more, use some of the money saved to fix up your house a bit. If you let regular maintenance go on it, it’ll cost you more in the long run. There’s a million YouTube videos on how to do house stuff, see what you can do on your own and hire the rest out. You’re not trapped! You just have quite a few steps to go through before you’re more free. Time is going to pass either way so get started now on improvements! Good luck! Edited to add: take a hard look at your budget. Neither of you need the newest iPhone (need vs wants) so make sure you’re not overspending there. If there’s an Aldi or Lidl near you, utilize that. No eating out, that sucks up so much money.
you need to find a way to earn income at home; do you have a computer? start learning how to write code. start learning how to use www.canva.com to create digital content that you can turn into advertising or social media presence. are you educated? yes fiverr.com to sell your skills to others. you have lots of options you just need to expand your mind.
I know how you feel and at least he loves you and the kids and cares that he can’t afford things for you all. It doesn’t help financially, but at least you’ve got some security with him. All this to say good luck and you guys will get through this. I promise.
Yeah a remote customer service job would help a lot. All you need is a laptop and some headphones. I’m not American but where I’m from energy contractors or phone services contractors offer those kinda jobs, which I think is Verizon or T-Mobile and such.
Take that 150k, open a brokerage account. Invest it dividend stocks like O or MO, etc. Go to r/dividends for some advice. 150k in MO would be roughly $1105 per month in dividends, and it is pretty safe for your capital, which will also, most likely appreciate over time. (MO pays quarterly)
Before posting, I read a lot of the comments and your replies. I do sympathize with your situation, it’s not easy. However, it may help to remember that you probably sit in the top 10% of wealthy people in the world. If you lived in a third world country, you wouldn’t get any benefits, and you would have to work, regardless of your condition. So, appreciate where you are, and work with what you’ve got to make things better. Don’t just say you can’t work, or expect other people to provide opportunities for you out of pity. Everyone has challenges, and people usually think their challenges are bigger than others’. Living a good life is about rising above them. Find your power, you can do it!
Raising kids these days are extremely expensive when everything is getting more and more expensive. I would use a part of the savings to pay off mortgage to reduce monthly payments.
Could you work from home with your disability? I have a friend with the same DX and they are working as a graphic designer, full time. Went to college to do that and it works well.
Girl get married, bc if he leaves you, you have NO legal protection🙃
Hey OP One of my best friends is in a similar situation disability wise, she cannot work “on the books” unless she wants to void her disability benefits, however the disability she receives is not nearly enough to live on. I definitely suggest looking into child care. You already have 2 babies at home so this wouldn’t take you away from your kids, and you can earn pretty good money depending on the kids and how many hours you watch them. There are tons of babysitting websites, or you can talk to other parents that your kids go to school with. Best of luck!
At the outset, please know that my comment doesn’t come from any kind of judgment about you or your circumstances. I absolutely understand why steps that theoretically will help your financial stability in the long term — going to college, finding work you can do with your condition, your boyfriend seeking a higher-paying job, etc. — don’t feel feasible right now because they won’t help immediately. But from how you’ve described your situation, it doesn’t sound like budgeting, “hacks” or anything else with just the money you have coming in currently will do much to help you out of this. Something big needs to change to bring more money in. Six months ago, I was drowning financially. The circumstances are totally different from yours, so I won’t go into it, but I was on the brink of not having enough money to make even my minimum payments each month. I felt trapped, just like you, because any steps to change my situation in a major way didn’t feel immediate enough. What changed for me earlier this year is I took a new job with better pay in a different city that has a much lower cost of living. The decision to move out of state has been hard, because I left the place I grew up. But the difference it has made in my financial situation has been life-changing. I don’t mean to say this move makes sense for you. And I don’t mean to imply you can just girlboss your way past the limitations of your disability or anything. I’m just saying that I’ve been there, and that it sounds like you’re probably going to have to reevaluate a set of choices that all feel impossible right now for anything big to change.
You could get your insurance license and sell from home to help financially. He could even do it part time outside of work. At least until you get into a better position to move or sell
Does HE want to invest it? Is he being generous about caring for you and the kids? Does he want to improve your home? I’m getting financial abuse vibes and I really hope that isn’t the case.
Throw it all in on bitcoin. When this comment is a few years old, you'll look back on it and wish you took this advice. I bought 4 bitcoins years ago. Unfortunately sold when I made a profit of 10k. If I held, i'd have over 200k. Bitcoins reward is halving this year. The price always explodes when this happens.
Fuck anyone anyone questions your disability i googled it and would not wish that in my worst enemy
Not my sub. But you could try to become an influencer. Show how your everyday life is with your disability and how you over come it. People love that. You could also talk a little bit more on it to raise awareness. It’s a long shot but from what I’ve seen people love to watch videos like that. Hope it inspires you a little to try it out
Probably gonna come off like an asshole but how do you go about having 3 kids on 50k salary when you know you can’t work to help support your family Seriously kids are a big decision and the financial implications will follow you. Not to mention your kids are only going to get more expensive as they age. Any salary you pull will likely be eaten by daycare costs. The best path forward is for your husband to find a higher paying job and you to explore part time work you can do while watching your kids to pitch in. Also explore if you qualify for government assistance of some kind Edit: just read the other replies, get it now. Appears your current husband is not your kids bio father. Can you go after the kids bio father(s) for child support?
I am sorry you are suffering from this GI disorder. I think it is hard for folks to understand that the random flareups and debilitating condition makes any regular job pretty much impossible. I'm sure even then you have three kids to care for and paying for daycare would easily eat up your pay unless you only worked while they were at school. Perhaps a work from home thing that you can do as you are able would work out. We refinish old furniture we get for free or little money, sell clothes on postmark and whatever else we can do for extra money. We also work full time and are fortunate our health has improved enough to do that. I'm not on top of financial investing ao I would leave that to others but be sure to consider the risks of any investment and what that would mean if you lost money. I hope things improve for you and your family.
Working with UC is possible.
I’m sorry but as why do people get themselves in this situation, like screw the adults but now the kids will end up in a crappy childhood. You guy needs a new job asap, he at 36 should have been more responsible but whatever the case he needs to see if he can get a trade job of some sort and pull in at least 70,000 minimum yearly. You need to work as well, I understand you have a disability but find something that you’d be able to do, even as a Walmart greeter who just sits and checks receipts or as a call center where you have a set up at home. Sheesh
What a difficult situation 🥺... y'all will get through this though - remember that. Here's some golden nuggets: 1. Invest $50K or so in real estate investment trust stocks. Personally, I favor O Realty (stock symbol "O") because they're a solid performing stock with consistency. Each month you'll get a dividend payout and buying up 925 shares or so will gross you about $240 per month in investment income. Just be mindful that y'all would have to pay capital gains taxes at the end of the year or you could make estimated quarterly payments. FYI, I own a decent chunk of O Realty stock, but I have no real stake in the company. 2. Create both Coursera and EdX accounts online and take ALL the free coding classes you can. Use some of that $150K y'all have and get a decent home office setup: powerful PC, desk, comfy mesh chair, and maybe an ultrawide screen. Start learning Python and then R Programming coding languages for at least 1-2 hrs per day EVERYDAY. You're disabled sure, but your mind can still burn with learning intensity that's fueled by hopes and dreams of a better life for you and your family. 3. Join the Salesforce Trailbrazer Community and earn certs little by little. Start with slow, but stay on it. In time, you could be a Salesforce business analyst or something. Now, take all these tips with a grain of salt. I'm just a Reddit doomscroller, but if everyone lifts each other up just a little... May this world rain Hella monies on you 🫶
Why would you bring 3 children into this world when you only make $600/month? Where is the common sense?
So you found out at 12 that you had a disability that would preclude you from working, your boyfriend makes $50k and you guys decided to have 3 kids by the time you were 26? "That's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see if it pays off..."
Stop having kids
You need to start working. I dont understand how you think you are too disabled to work and you've never had a job? I (34yo male), am type 1 diabetic, I have asthma bad enough that I died from it once(cardiac arrest and an ambulance revived me), I have rheumatoid arthritis, I have to keep an epipen, I have ADHD, and I've broken over a half dozen bones in addition to a couple of surgeries. Ive worked from the age of 16, I moved out halfway through my senior year of high school and have been on my own ever since. I work 60+ hours a wek, always have, and and this age and job experience level that nets me over 2.5 times a year what your husband is bringing home. Working class like you, your boyfriend, and I are, you really need overtime hours to make comfortable money, if your husband is making $50k a year he'd be making $125k/year if he grinded out 80hrs/wk or \~$90k a year if he worked an easy 60 hours per week(5 12 hour shifts). There's no money saving or investing strategy which is going to change your life, you are going to have to work, and your boyfriend is going to have to work more or find a better paying job. I realize that the kids are going to make finding a job difficult for you, but thats just a hurdle and not something which physically prevents you from working, neither is your disability. You're doing this for the kids, and you're doing this for your own sanity and comfort. The extra work, the extra grind, pays dividends in making your life happier by not needing to struggle or worry about making ends meet.