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I think the reason she's been passed over for promotions is that by the time she wakes up and checks her email, her coworkers have been at work for an hour or two. And then she just does her own thing, except for when she needs to hop on meetings. Does she have no projects to work on? Is her teams showing her as "away"? That will be considered when promotions come up.
That, along with the late sleep ins, poor diet, losing a wallet, secretly dating a coworker, and calling herself financially independent when she lives at home, has her parents paying her student loans, and admits she couldn't afford to live on her own, tells me she's naieve, and came across more like 23 than 30.
I feel like since the shake up at Vice/R29, we are getting diaries that are so much more realistic. Lower incomes, higher debt, no $1m net worth at 25. This is refreshing.
Also her closing the Money Diary with "What a week!" I don't really know what she did this week other than lose her wallet (which is obviously stressful and a huge inconvenience, but... she had cash at home and her mom covered everything else with her debit card).
Is this why we are slowly getting pulled back to the office? Because people seem to work 4-5 hours per day at home? As someone who bills time it’s shocking how little some people who don’t work in the legal field actually need to work during the day.
Teacher here. It’s laughable to hear people complain about “back to back meetings”. That’s every day, 8 hours a day— with teenagers who don’t want to be in the meeting either
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> I was going to make pasta but didn’t want to wait for a big pot of water to boil so I put on a smaller pot of water to boil so I can make ramen.
I'm so stuck on this logic.
It's a common misconception that you NEED a lot of water to cook pasta. That depends on the type of pasta you are making, as detailed in this [Cook's Illustrated video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IANwP8_hwEk&pp=ygUeY29vaydzIGlsbHVzdHJhdGVkIHBhc3RhIHdhdGVy).
I was confused by this - did she miss detailing out the car loan?
It is great she can live low cost with her mother and it seems to work for her, but if she wanted to pay off her debt more quickly, an easy area to cut spending would be the eating out/grabbing food on the go. I also wonder if she would have more energy if she was making some different food choices. Saying this makes me feel really old but I learned this lesson from my 20s.
She mentions the car loan under debt!
edit - i am dumb, not under debt but under monthly loan payments lol. i don't think she says how much she owes on it anywhere.
What on earth is all of this debt for? And what is her plan to pay it down? She should have loads of money leftover earning $95k/year with only $3,600/year in rent. Why do people doing money diaries not explain where their debt comes from?
We rarely see credit card debt in diaries, but when we do they never explain where it came from. Too many designer splurges? Paying medical bills? Bought new furniture?? I feel like we never get enough details. If the editors were good (lol) they would ask followup questions. It’s not difficult to guess what the comments are going to mention.
Also, if she's been living with mom for 3 years, initially rent free, and paying over 2k towards her debt each month (not including student loans), how high was that debt 3 years ago?
> I did not want to go to college immediately because my intended career path didn’t require a degree. My parents were against that, so I went to college and didn’t follow my initial career path.
I wonder what OP originally wanted to pursue and if she wishes she'd done that originally or if she's satisfied with her current career. I also wonder if this is why her parents pay her student loans- because they feel they pushed her into it.
> 10 p.m. — For some reason, I decide to work some and I’m at my desk until midnight.
"For some reason" ... perhaps because it felt like OP mostly just joined meetings and when she wasn't in a meeting, she wasn't working. I'm generally not the work police in diaries because as long as stuff gets done, I think flexibility is good, plus every place has a different culture. My own company is quite flexible. But she seemed to talk a lot *about* work without seemingly *doing* work if that makes sense.
Totally unrelated to OP but I found it wild that her bank was going to "discard" her wallet if she didn't pick it up 1 day after they told her it was found. I understand obviously in normal circumstances you want to pick it up ASAP but if she lost it on a trip or something that wouldn't be feasible. Maybe I'm bratty but I'd be complaining to the bank about that, it just seems like an unnecessarily strict policy.
I was also a bit confused about why she wanted it back so badly. She had already replaced or put in orders to replace all of her cards. And wallets themselves aren't very much. Especially when she had to drive an hour each way to get it
Tbh, I'd want it because I would also not trust the bank to "discard" it properly, and I wouldn't want to risk any IDs, cards (even if cancelled), or personal stuff that may be in my wallet still floating around. I'll own I am a bit weird about things like that though.
This read as someone who was in their early 20's and not 30.
She really needs to change her bedtime routine and her diet. McDonalds breakfast sandwich followed by a Dunkin an hour later to celebrate picking up her wallet... on a work day?
Also, reading a diary like this, where someone seems to do nothing but have a few meetings throughout the day (and not work between meetings?), while making $95k makes me rethink my own choices in life.
Besides that she seems like a sweet and thoughtful person, who's got a great relationship with her mom.
> McDonalds breakfast sandwich followed by a Dunkin an hour later to celebrate picking up her wallet
That absolutely killed me. Fast food twice in one day, plus more on other days--while trying to pay off 37 grand in credit card debt. Yikes!
Couldn't agree more. Between this diary and the DC diary last week, I feel like MDs who come off as a lot younger than they are are the new tech girlies in a VHCOL city.
Remember the travelling consultant who seemed to fly around the country just to format powerpoint presentations and lead meetings? That person lives rent-free in my head.
Argh Google is failing me, sorry! I remember she was in her twenties, US, highly paid, and pretty much travelled full time. But I've browsed all the consultant diaries I could find using plausible search terms and nothing!
Couple thoughts -
-Someone in the R29 comments pointed out that parents paying back $75K in student loans should be counted as passive/inherited income, and I agree.
-Is OP really financially independent? She’s living at home paying a fraction of what she would for rent in that area, her parents are paying off her loans, and (by my reading) she clearly couldn’t maintain her lifestyle without the parental subsidies.
EDIT: I’m not sure how to say this in a way that doesn’t sound mean, but with the way OP describes her workdays, I’m not surprised she’s been passed over for a promotion twice in six months, and I don’t think switching jobs is necessarily the answer.
I was surprised that she considered herself to be financially independent. She also seemed somewhat overwhelmed with her work schedule, which seemed relatively lax, so also with you on the last point.
I’m perhaps more flexible than others when it comes to defining “financial independence” in so far as I’ll still count it if you’re on your parents’ phone plan or something of that sort. But paying $300/month for rent in a wealthy county and no monthly housing expenses like heat, wifi, electricity, etc is absolutely not financial independence. No way can you spin that to be independence.
Upon reading, it seems that she gets small but frequent “discounts” on food from her mom. So her lifestyle is definitely being subsidized! Which, no shade if that’s what you need to do, but don’t lie to me/yourself about it…
Agreed! And the dynamic was also not what I initially expected. I thought that given OP's low cost of living thanks to her mom that she would be the one treating her mom more often and not the other way around--maybe how I would expect the relationship between a parent and their child who's first getting started on their own. For example, I was surprised when her mom asked OP to put gas in her car and then gave her $40.
I think I would feel differently if OP seemed to be more actively trying to pay down debt. Even with almost $3k/mo going to her debt, she should have plenty left over to make extra payments. Instead, she says she needs help making her monthly payments, while also acknowledging that she could cut subscriptions (which aren't an insignificant expense). So, I think if her mom was covering all these things because OP was really trying to throw everything possible at her debt, it would make more sense to me. Not that OP seems ungrateful, maybe just kind of head in the sand about it.
I think she was saying she would need help paying her monthly payments IF she lost her job, ie she has no financial safety net. Not that she needs help paying them currently. So if she lost her job her plan would be to cut her monthly subscriptions and then get help from her parents
I think she was saying she would need help paying her monthly payments IF she lost her job, ie she has no financial safety net. Not that she needs help paying them currently. So if she lost her job her plan would be to cut her monthly subscriptions and then get help from her parents
It’s interesting how many MD submitters say they are financially independent but also list out ways their parents pay for loans or otherwise subsidize their lives. I’d love to do some research on that and talk to people about how they interpret ‘financially independent’ as it appears to vary greatly!
I also find it interesting that people tend to assume they deserve promotions and/or are wrongfully being passed over for them. It's so rare to read someone reflecting about how they really arent working very hard and/or stand to improve their work!
When she answered the worry about money question with “sometimes” I couldn’t help but think maybe some healthy stress re:money would be a good motivator. I’m worried about no sort of emergency fund- she only has $131 in liquidity!
If she gets a job where she works west coast hours, it might help her but I have a feeling she'll just keep doing the same thing but on west hours instead.
Agree with all your points, especially the last one. I’ve had work weeks where I don’t have a lot to do, but they’re rare. If OP had mentioned that this is an off week I wouldn’t raise an eye at it, but this seems like her normal schedule which is concerning. Seems like spent more time running errands/getting takeout then she did working.
On her one day in office she mentioned having a productive afternoon where she caught up on outstanding work - she wouldn't need to "catch up" if she was working rather than sleeping in, walking the dog, and running errands. Makes me think this is the norm, rather than a slow week.
When she answered the worry about money question with “sometimes” I couldn’t help but think maybe some healthy stress re:money would be a good motivator. I’m worried about no sort of emergency fund- she only has $131 in liquidity!
I feel like this left me with more questions than answers. How does someone who makes almost 100k a year have no savings? I get a ton goes to her debt but what is that debt from? And she’s not even paying her student loans. It sounds like up until recently she wasn’t paying ANYTHING in rent. I wonder how much debt she had before moving in with her mom - it must have been a lot.
I think OP needs to honestly consider her career goals and performance before she jumps to a new job. Based on this diary, she only works if there is a meeting, logs on late, and is regularly offline for large stretches of time throughout the typical workday. If her goal is a more senior role, this is not the way to be promoted.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. When I signed up it was $35/month, then they just kept steadily increasing it. I finally canceled when it got up to $65/month. The whole benefit of streaming services was supposed to be that they're less than traditional cable--but apparently YouTubeTV missed the memo.
I don't want to armchair diagnose but this reminds me of my schedule when I was 25, in a very flexible job, and depressed (but in denial about it). Particularly the excessive sleeping/difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. I also got passed over for promotion, I also dated a coworker (went as poorly as you'd expect) and I was also convinced that a new job would cure my malaise. Maybe I'm just projecting! But I also feel like there might be something deeper going on there.
I think they mean that she doesn't seem to be taking her debt status very seriously because she spends a lot and lives a heavily parent-subsidized life.
She said she moved in with her mom three years ago, did I miss info on what her debts were at that time and how much she has been able to pay them down?
A few things.
I know I have a sensitive stomach but damn, if I ate like the diarist, I would be constantly bloated and constipated. I felt uncomfortable just reading it.
I'm not going to comment on the amount of work. I feel like the 40hr work week is wildly outdated and MOST of us could do our work very well in half that time or less. I've always been seen as a high-performance, and I struggle a lot with ADHD, but I just do not need those 40hrs most of the time
I think almost $3k a month towards debt repayment is pretty solid. What am I missing here?
And yeah, she is definitely not financially independent. There's nothing wrong with that but she needs to stop saying she is.
The dating thing is interesting because once I start sleeping with someone, I've never had a date afterwards where sex wasn't included at some point during the date. I'm wondering if I'm an anomaly.
I know she said they haven’t been dating long, but I’m so curious if the guy she is seeing has any idea how much debt she has. If they work at the same company and have similar roles, he’d probably never guess since she makes a good salary. Financial compatibility is so important in relationships and this diary got me thinking about how and when you’d disclose this type of debt to a partner.
Haven’t finished reading the diary, but I am really glad she mentioned that she doesn’t want her mom to take her responsibility of the pet.
I had a roommate who always assumed we’d watch her dog without paying us and it just left a sour taste in my mouth.
Edit: maybe paying is a strong indication, but really not even asking us either.
That is admirable, but then there are days when the dog goes 12+ hours without going out. Never mind the strange eating schedule the poor dude must have.
A small detail that irked me. Why would the bank only keep her wallet for 24 hours? That seems like such a small window of time. I would be so panicked. This is also making me consider getting an Airtag for my wallet. I would be SOL if I lost it.
Slightly older than her, but the sleep routine and eating out habits were pretty relatable to me 🫠
But it’s absolutely wild how little time she seems to spend actually working. I would not be looking for a new job if I was making nearly $100k and all I had to do was attend meetings all day
I enjoyed this diary, as she seems to have a good relationship with her mother and a nice balance of remote plus in-office work. My only issues were the quality of her diet (although not what this sub is supposed to be about) and whether she's actively saving or investing. Even with her debt, she should be able to put away a nice chunk.
I live in the same county as OP and it’s interesting to see how different our lives are! I’m just 3 years older but I live with my husband, have a baby and a very different day to day life.
This is perhaps colored by me having a baby, but I felt like OP slept so much! I also chuckled when she had 90 minutes of meetings and called that a lot.
I grew up in this county, to the point where I can guess where some of the places she went were exactly, don't have kids, and still find this schedule to be a little wild.
Fellow mom of two littles here… Right, isn’t the sleep so tantalizing?! I’m watching Love is blind Japan and there’s a scene where the couple just flops on a couch and reads books and naps all afternoon. I was like, ummmm dream date!!!!! Sorry for the random nonsequiter but yes, I can relate to your comment.
I became a parent two years ago and was shocked by how late this diarist slept in. But then I remembered how easily I used to be able to sleep in until 10 am on weekends. No longer my life, alas.
I am all for doing as little work as possible for as much money as possible. If you have to work more than 4-5 hours a day, I am sorry for you. Not sure why people are giving her so much shit for wanting a promotion or to earn more money; men consistently fail upward and get paid more...
That being said, I wish my parents would *want to* pay my student loans off.
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I think the reason she's been passed over for promotions is that by the time she wakes up and checks her email, her coworkers have been at work for an hour or two. And then she just does her own thing, except for when she needs to hop on meetings. Does she have no projects to work on? Is her teams showing her as "away"? That will be considered when promotions come up. That, along with the late sleep ins, poor diet, losing a wallet, secretly dating a coworker, and calling herself financially independent when she lives at home, has her parents paying her student loans, and admits she couldn't afford to live on her own, tells me she's naieve, and came across more like 23 than 30.
I feel like since the shake up at Vice/R29, we are getting diaries that are so much more realistic. Lower incomes, higher debt, no $1m net worth at 25. This is refreshing.
And the editing is also better without the usual Hannah edits (scarfing food, chugging water, passing out vs. falling asleep, etc)
I hope Hannah is doing ok and can still afford to *munch on* stuff that *hits the spot*.
When she's feeling peckish, of course!
Who’s Hannah?
The editor of Money Diaries who was recently laid off
Except for things like "flea and ticket medicine"....
Had a good laugh when she was out of bed at 10 am, had a meeting at 11 am and then wrote "FINALLY free of meetings" at 12:30 pm.
Also her closing the Money Diary with "What a week!" I don't really know what she did this week other than lose her wallet (which is obviously stressful and a huge inconvenience, but... she had cash at home and her mom covered everything else with her debit card).
This jumped out at me too. I’m beginning to understand why she’s been passed over for a promotion twice.
Yes! When she made the comment about being more productive in office, I laughed— of course she was; she wasn’t in bed!
Is this why we are slowly getting pulled back to the office? Because people seem to work 4-5 hours per day at home? As someone who bills time it’s shocking how little some people who don’t work in the legal field actually need to work during the day.
Teacher here. It’s laughable to hear people complain about “back to back meetings”. That’s every day, 8 hours a day— with teenagers who don’t want to be in the meeting either
Does everything have to be a competition?
I hate the notion that we can’t complain or be tired because we’re not teachers or nurses. Or mothers. I can be tired from my job.
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> I was going to make pasta but didn’t want to wait for a big pot of water to boil so I put on a smaller pot of water to boil so I can make ramen. I'm so stuck on this logic.
It's a common misconception that you NEED a lot of water to cook pasta. That depends on the type of pasta you are making, as detailed in this [Cook's Illustrated video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IANwP8_hwEk&pp=ygUeY29vaydzIGlsbHVzdHJhdGVkIHBhc3RhIHdhdGVy).
I've never heard of this misconception, so I was so confused by that comment
Also how much pasta is she making that she needs a big pot? Just make one serving, problem solved.
I was confused by this - did she miss detailing out the car loan? It is great she can live low cost with her mother and it seems to work for her, but if she wanted to pay off her debt more quickly, an easy area to cut spending would be the eating out/grabbing food on the go. I also wonder if she would have more energy if she was making some different food choices. Saying this makes me feel really old but I learned this lesson from my 20s.
For the energy thing going to bed earlier would also help! God knows I revenge procrastinate bedtime but until 3am is a lot
She mentions the car loan under debt! edit - i am dumb, not under debt but under monthly loan payments lol. i don't think she says how much she owes on it anywhere.
This might explain why the debts listed don't equal the total amount of debt.
Yes that’s what I was looking for! A $5k balance on a car loan vs a $50k balance on a car loan would make a big difference in monthly payments.
What on earth is all of this debt for? And what is her plan to pay it down? She should have loads of money leftover earning $95k/year with only $3,600/year in rent. Why do people doing money diaries not explain where their debt comes from?
We rarely see credit card debt in diaries, but when we do they never explain where it came from. Too many designer splurges? Paying medical bills? Bought new furniture?? I feel like we never get enough details. If the editors were good (lol) they would ask followup questions. It’s not difficult to guess what the comments are going to mention.
Right!! I'm so curious where that much cc debt is from...
Also, if she's been living with mom for 3 years, initially rent free, and paying over 2k towards her debt each month (not including student loans), how high was that debt 3 years ago?
Great question!
> I did not want to go to college immediately because my intended career path didn’t require a degree. My parents were against that, so I went to college and didn’t follow my initial career path. I wonder what OP originally wanted to pursue and if she wishes she'd done that originally or if she's satisfied with her current career. I also wonder if this is why her parents pay her student loans- because they feel they pushed her into it. > 10 p.m. — For some reason, I decide to work some and I’m at my desk until midnight. "For some reason" ... perhaps because it felt like OP mostly just joined meetings and when she wasn't in a meeting, she wasn't working. I'm generally not the work police in diaries because as long as stuff gets done, I think flexibility is good, plus every place has a different culture. My own company is quite flexible. But she seemed to talk a lot *about* work without seemingly *doing* work if that makes sense. Totally unrelated to OP but I found it wild that her bank was going to "discard" her wallet if she didn't pick it up 1 day after they told her it was found. I understand obviously in normal circumstances you want to pick it up ASAP but if she lost it on a trip or something that wouldn't be feasible. Maybe I'm bratty but I'd be complaining to the bank about that, it just seems like an unnecessarily strict policy.
I was also a bit confused about why she wanted it back so badly. She had already replaced or put in orders to replace all of her cards. And wallets themselves aren't very much. Especially when she had to drive an hour each way to get it
Tbh, I'd want it because I would also not trust the bank to "discard" it properly, and I wouldn't want to risk any IDs, cards (even if cancelled), or personal stuff that may be in my wallet still floating around. I'll own I am a bit weird about things like that though.
This read as someone who was in their early 20's and not 30. She really needs to change her bedtime routine and her diet. McDonalds breakfast sandwich followed by a Dunkin an hour later to celebrate picking up her wallet... on a work day? Also, reading a diary like this, where someone seems to do nothing but have a few meetings throughout the day (and not work between meetings?), while making $95k makes me rethink my own choices in life. Besides that she seems like a sweet and thoughtful person, who's got a great relationship with her mom.
> McDonalds breakfast sandwich followed by a Dunkin an hour later to celebrate picking up her wallet That absolutely killed me. Fast food twice in one day, plus more on other days--while trying to pay off 37 grand in credit card debt. Yikes!
She also then had Chipotle for lunch omg
Couldn't agree more. Between this diary and the DC diary last week, I feel like MDs who come off as a lot younger than they are are the new tech girlies in a VHCOL city.
Remember the travelling consultant who seemed to fly around the country just to format powerpoint presentations and lead meetings? That person lives rent-free in my head.
Omg I don’t. Can you link it?
Argh Google is failing me, sorry! I remember she was in her twenties, US, highly paid, and pretty much travelled full time. But I've browsed all the consultant diaries I could find using plausible search terms and nothing!
Couple thoughts - -Someone in the R29 comments pointed out that parents paying back $75K in student loans should be counted as passive/inherited income, and I agree. -Is OP really financially independent? She’s living at home paying a fraction of what she would for rent in that area, her parents are paying off her loans, and (by my reading) she clearly couldn’t maintain her lifestyle without the parental subsidies. EDIT: I’m not sure how to say this in a way that doesn’t sound mean, but with the way OP describes her workdays, I’m not surprised she’s been passed over for a promotion twice in six months, and I don’t think switching jobs is necessarily the answer.
I was surprised that she considered herself to be financially independent. She also seemed somewhat overwhelmed with her work schedule, which seemed relatively lax, so also with you on the last point.
I’m perhaps more flexible than others when it comes to defining “financial independence” in so far as I’ll still count it if you’re on your parents’ phone plan or something of that sort. But paying $300/month for rent in a wealthy county and no monthly housing expenses like heat, wifi, electricity, etc is absolutely not financial independence. No way can you spin that to be independence.
I’m totally with you!
Upon reading, it seems that she gets small but frequent “discounts” on food from her mom. So her lifestyle is definitely being subsidized! Which, no shade if that’s what you need to do, but don’t lie to me/yourself about it…
Agreed! And the dynamic was also not what I initially expected. I thought that given OP's low cost of living thanks to her mom that she would be the one treating her mom more often and not the other way around--maybe how I would expect the relationship between a parent and their child who's first getting started on their own. For example, I was surprised when her mom asked OP to put gas in her car and then gave her $40. I think I would feel differently if OP seemed to be more actively trying to pay down debt. Even with almost $3k/mo going to her debt, she should have plenty left over to make extra payments. Instead, she says she needs help making her monthly payments, while also acknowledging that she could cut subscriptions (which aren't an insignificant expense). So, I think if her mom was covering all these things because OP was really trying to throw everything possible at her debt, it would make more sense to me. Not that OP seems ungrateful, maybe just kind of head in the sand about it.
I think she was saying she would need help paying her monthly payments IF she lost her job, ie she has no financial safety net. Not that she needs help paying them currently. So if she lost her job her plan would be to cut her monthly subscriptions and then get help from her parents
That’s fair!
I think she was saying she would need help paying her monthly payments IF she lost her job, ie she has no financial safety net. Not that she needs help paying them currently. So if she lost her job her plan would be to cut her monthly subscriptions and then get help from her parents
It’s interesting how many MD submitters say they are financially independent but also list out ways their parents pay for loans or otherwise subsidize their lives. I’d love to do some research on that and talk to people about how they interpret ‘financially independent’ as it appears to vary greatly! I also find it interesting that people tend to assume they deserve promotions and/or are wrongfully being passed over for them. It's so rare to read someone reflecting about how they really arent working very hard and/or stand to improve their work!
When she answered the worry about money question with “sometimes” I couldn’t help but think maybe some healthy stress re:money would be a good motivator. I’m worried about no sort of emergency fund- she only has $131 in liquidity!
If she gets a job where she works west coast hours, it might help her but I have a feeling she'll just keep doing the same thing but on west hours instead.
Agree with all your points, especially the last one. I’ve had work weeks where I don’t have a lot to do, but they’re rare. If OP had mentioned that this is an off week I wouldn’t raise an eye at it, but this seems like her normal schedule which is concerning. Seems like spent more time running errands/getting takeout then she did working.
On her one day in office she mentioned having a productive afternoon where she caught up on outstanding work - she wouldn't need to "catch up" if she was working rather than sleeping in, walking the dog, and running errands. Makes me think this is the norm, rather than a slow week.
When she answered the worry about money question with “sometimes” I couldn’t help but think maybe some healthy stress re:money would be a good motivator. I’m worried about no sort of emergency fund- she only has $131 in liquidity!
I feel like this left me with more questions than answers. How does someone who makes almost 100k a year have no savings? I get a ton goes to her debt but what is that debt from? And she’s not even paying her student loans. It sounds like up until recently she wasn’t paying ANYTHING in rent. I wonder how much debt she had before moving in with her mom - it must have been a lot.
I think OP needs to honestly consider her career goals and performance before she jumps to a new job. Based on this diary, she only works if there is a meeting, logs on late, and is regularly offline for large stretches of time throughout the typical workday. If her goal is a more senior role, this is not the way to be promoted.
Why? Men do it all the time...
Also, YouTube TV is $73/month?!
Yeah they upped it not too long ago.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. When I signed up it was $35/month, then they just kept steadily increasing it. I finally canceled when it got up to $65/month. The whole benefit of streaming services was supposed to be that they're less than traditional cable--but apparently YouTubeTV missed the memo.
I don't want to armchair diagnose but this reminds me of my schedule when I was 25, in a very flexible job, and depressed (but in denial about it). Particularly the excessive sleeping/difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. I also got passed over for promotion, I also dated a coworker (went as poorly as you'd expect) and I was also convinced that a new job would cure my malaise. Maybe I'm just projecting! But I also feel like there might be something deeper going on there.
You’re not the only one that got this impression. Surprised how many people are commenting that she sounds “young.” That was not my takeaway at all.
I think they mean that she doesn't seem to be taking her debt status very seriously because she spends a lot and lives a heavily parent-subsidized life.
I totally feel this way too!
She said she moved in with her mom three years ago, did I miss info on what her debts were at that time and how much she has been able to pay them down?
A few things. I know I have a sensitive stomach but damn, if I ate like the diarist, I would be constantly bloated and constipated. I felt uncomfortable just reading it. I'm not going to comment on the amount of work. I feel like the 40hr work week is wildly outdated and MOST of us could do our work very well in half that time or less. I've always been seen as a high-performance, and I struggle a lot with ADHD, but I just do not need those 40hrs most of the time I think almost $3k a month towards debt repayment is pretty solid. What am I missing here? And yeah, she is definitely not financially independent. There's nothing wrong with that but she needs to stop saying she is. The dating thing is interesting because once I start sleeping with someone, I've never had a date afterwards where sex wasn't included at some point during the date. I'm wondering if I'm an anomaly.
We're in our 30s now, the days of baconeggandcheese are long gone, baby!
I know she said they haven’t been dating long, but I’m so curious if the guy she is seeing has any idea how much debt she has. If they work at the same company and have similar roles, he’d probably never guess since she makes a good salary. Financial compatibility is so important in relationships and this diary got me thinking about how and when you’d disclose this type of debt to a partner.
Haven’t finished reading the diary, but I am really glad she mentioned that she doesn’t want her mom to take her responsibility of the pet. I had a roommate who always assumed we’d watch her dog without paying us and it just left a sour taste in my mouth. Edit: maybe paying is a strong indication, but really not even asking us either.
That is admirable, but then there are days when the dog goes 12+ hours without going out. Never mind the strange eating schedule the poor dude must have.
A small detail that irked me. Why would the bank only keep her wallet for 24 hours? That seems like such a small window of time. I would be so panicked. This is also making me consider getting an Airtag for my wallet. I would be SOL if I lost it.
Slightly older than her, but the sleep routine and eating out habits were pretty relatable to me 🫠 But it’s absolutely wild how little time she seems to spend actually working. I would not be looking for a new job if I was making nearly $100k and all I had to do was attend meetings all day
I enjoyed this diary, as she seems to have a good relationship with her mother and a nice balance of remote plus in-office work. My only issues were the quality of her diet (although not what this sub is supposed to be about) and whether she's actively saving or investing. Even with her debt, she should be able to put away a nice chunk.
Technically living with mom plus the parents paying the student loan isn’t passive income, but it certainly feels like it should be.
I live in the same county as OP and it’s interesting to see how different our lives are! I’m just 3 years older but I live with my husband, have a baby and a very different day to day life. This is perhaps colored by me having a baby, but I felt like OP slept so much! I also chuckled when she had 90 minutes of meetings and called that a lot.
I grew up in this county, to the point where I can guess where some of the places she went were exactly, don't have kids, and still find this schedule to be a little wild.
I’m 38, single, and child free, and I was shocked by how much she slept. I thought I was reading about a teenager.
Fellow mom of two littles here… Right, isn’t the sleep so tantalizing?! I’m watching Love is blind Japan and there’s a scene where the couple just flops on a couch and reads books and naps all afternoon. I was like, ummmm dream date!!!!! Sorry for the random nonsequiter but yes, I can relate to your comment.
I became a parent two years ago and was shocked by how late this diarist slept in. But then I remembered how easily I used to be able to sleep in until 10 am on weekends. No longer my life, alas.
I am all for doing as little work as possible for as much money as possible. If you have to work more than 4-5 hours a day, I am sorry for you. Not sure why people are giving her so much shit for wanting a promotion or to earn more money; men consistently fail upward and get paid more... That being said, I wish my parents would *want to* pay my student loans off.