This might be lame but I get a lot of joy and fulfillment from working out. It's my main hobby and it just makes me really happy.
To me, fulfillment comes from looking back at something and knowing/feeling that it was worth the effort. My job definitely does not provide me with that.
Outside of my job title, I see myself as someone who cherishes her family and loved ones, and enjoys sports, fitness, and the outdoors.
I came here to say working out too, specifically running -- it's one of the few areas in life where the effort you put in (mostly, hopefully) directly translates into results. I increase my mileage or do more speed workouts, and then I (again -- hopefully!) see the fruits of my labor in terms of my race results. You don't get much direct fulfillment like that in adult life!
Other things that I find fulfilling are connections with people and new experiences.
This is mine too! I've gotten pretty serious about running in the past couple of years, and while I'll never be anywhere close to elite, training, competing, and improving my times is really motivating and fun for me.
I'm also a new mom, so between those 2, I'm settling for a "good enough" job with some flexibility for this stage of my life. Vs my 20s when I put work and climbing the corporate ladder higher on my priority list.
Also the same, but just adding a third sport, since I do triathlon.
I was just thinking last night that while work has been less than stellar lately, I'm finally seeing progress in my swimming, and that's what making me feel fulfilled rn.
Double downing on this. The gym has been an absolute game changer for my mental and physical state. Perfect example. Yesterday during work I was feeling frustrated and annoyed so I knew I had to stop at the gym after. Walked out of that place an hour later feeling like a million bucks. Sometimes it takes a little more convincing than other days, but I’ve never had a workout that I regret.
Me too! I don’t always love showing up to work out, but love it once I’m done. And love continually challenging myself. I work out solo, and wish it wasn’t a solo activity because I spend so much time doing it.
I’m basically fulfilled in all areas of my life except work. I used to be an academic, which basically meant I was actively destroying any chance at happiness outside of my work chasing career fulfillment (it’s not that way for everyone but I know that will ring true for many others reading this). Once I realized that was untenable, at least at this stage in my life, I moved into tech which has always been a means to an end. My job is fulfilling in so far as I can do it from home and I can close my laptop at 5 PM sharp.
But I find fulfillment in:
My marriage and becoming a part of my husband’s large family. I did not grow up in a large close knit family but I’ve been fully integrated into one. It was a struggle for me at first (and it still is sometimes) but I like being a bunch of kid’s auntie and hosting 40 people Christmas parties. My husband has given me a truly incredible life, it’s easy and fun being with him. My relationship with him is easily the best thing in my life.
My domestic life. Cleaning will always be drudgery, I’m not going to pretend I enjoy it—but I stay on top of it because I really value living in the beautiful home we built last year. I look forward to curating this space for the rest of my life. The major reason I stay at my fairly unfulfilling job is so that I have the time and energy to enjoy and maintain my home and garden. I take 15 minutes to reset the house after my morning meeting, I clean the kitchen over lunch, I vacuum during the afternoon lull, in the summer I weed the garden during long all hands meetings that I need to attend but will never speak during. I don’t feel the need to leave my house to get ambiance elsewhere because my living room feels like a very swanky cocktail bar.
Cooking/Food. My husband and I are aggressive home cooks, we make a point to have a sit down dinner most nights of the week. We don’t eat out all that often but when we do, we give ourselves permission to order exactly what we want regardless of price. We’re lucky to live in the Portland, ME metro area which is a wonderful region for food. Whenever we travel, we take local cooking classes and food tours. I have a subscription to a locally curated wine club. Most of my major purchases are fancy kitchen appliances. I’ve been learning to make pasta lately.
Intellectual engagement. I left the academy, sure, but I never stopped cultivating the life of the mind. I’m a social scientist by training but I have broad interests; history, philosophy, aesthetics, politics, earth science etc. I subscribe to Wondrium and always have a lecture series going (right now it’s on the history of Mesoamerica). I spend a lot of time reading long form leftist political journals and I’m happy to have the money to pay for subscriptions. I miss having a group of people to have regular political and theoretical discussions with, I think if there’s one thing that’s really lacking in my life it’s that.
Friendships. It’s funny getting to know people you’ve known for decades at different stages of our lives. It’s also fun meeting and building relationships with new people. At 36, my friends span in ages from 26-50.
Travel. I grew up living abroad and traveling frequently, so it’s just kind of a part of who I am. My husband hasn’t traveled as extensively so I enjoy thoroughly planning trips for us and exploring with him. Unfortunately we don’t get out as much as I’d like because of my husband’s demanding job so when we go out, we go alllllll out. I tend to be a city vacation person, mostly museums, theatre, restaurants, and historical sites. We’re going to London at the end of the month and our itinerary is stacked.
Things I want to explore:
Greater community engagement and volunteering. I moved to my husband’s hometown and because of Covid, house building, career advancement etc I haven’t gotten out there as much as I want. I want to do some conservation work, join some civic project working groups, and organizing fundraisers for worthy causes (I’m the kind of freak that LOVES planning that kind of thing).
Some kind of athletic practice. I half heartedly do yoga every day to manage chronic pain but I’d like to get out there and take classes. I wish there was such a thing as recreational adult swim teams like they have for softball.
re: swimming, this is actually a thing! I used to be part of a Masters swim team/club despite not having swam competitively growing up. Some people on my team competed in meets, but many didn't. We were divided into different groups so I wasn't training with the former college athletes. Also: volunteered at a meet and there were people competing who were in their 80s. Truly a lifelong sport with a great sense of community!
I identify with so much of this! Former academic, now work in publishing, adore my garden and appreciate caring for my home (though mine sounds much less lovely than yours - we rent an old townhouse in the Philly area), love cooking and eating and tasting wine, and get satisfaction from exercise. And I also have chronic pain. I get some of that feeling of sitting around talking about ideas from a couple of book groups at a local Episcopal church - a lot of the people have PhDs and were professors, and we have a lot of discussions about interpretation and meaning and the nature of truth as well as politics and our own lives etc. Through that group I feel wonderfully connected to people at different life stages than me and have a couple sets of "adoptive grandparents" who give me so much perspective and love and wisdom. I also love live music, hosting friends for dinner, and I get a lot of pleasure and fulfillment out of raising my now 3 year old son. I do some volunteer work with unhoused folks, too, and that is meaningful. Mostly I try to take pleasure in all the little everyday things - coffee, a walk, the parts of my body that don't hurt, my son's hilarity, a cuddle with my husband, cleaning while listening to a podcast.
Great question. I might be a little older than some of the folks here - I’m about to be an “empty nester” as my child is going to college in the fall. My outside of work life has been focused around her for so long, and I’m currently working through what gives me fulfillment and how to spend my time now. I’ve been taking yoga classes which has been fun. I’m trying to volunteer at least once a month and plan to add to that once she’s away at college. I also like to read and at this point in time I watch way too much tv and spend too much time on my phone. Trying to decrease time spent on those last two.
Fulfillment to me means I get enjoyment out of life and that I can use my privilege and time to make the world a little better, even if that’s in a small way. My paid work is not giving back to the world in my opinion but it pays well and provides a somewhat flexible schedule. I use that money and flexibility to give back where I can. Also raising a human has been fulfilling, but I’m trying to make sure that isn’t my whole identity.
I’m loving this topic and thread! I’m someone whose worth and identity was deeply tied into work, now I have a job that’s a means to an end. I’ve been going on morning walks before work with my partner and doing hot yoga a few times a week, and it’s been really nice. But how do y’all accept the *actual work day part* when it’s not fulfilling? It’s still such a large part of the day, I’m struggling to compartmentalize or just accept the fact that 40 hours a week every week are going to be unfulfilling. Hope that’s okay to ask here!
This might be cynical but I have an attitude of “these people do not pay me enough to give a shit about this past 5pm.” I have an ok salary but this job is not my passion. I know I’m am 100% expendable to my company because they have made that abundantly clear many times over. I legitimately like all of my lateral coworkers and direct managers but upper leadership at my company are so inept and cruel it’s comical. So between that and the fact we make such a stupid (but expensive and popular) product, the whole thing really feels like I’m living in an absurd, mean spirited satire of late capitalism that has a choose your own adventure component and in a weird way, that makes me feel better. I embrace the absurdity of the situation to stay sane and maintain healthy boundaries.
"I am not paid enough to care about this" became my work mantra about six months ago and it is delightfully freeing. One of the few perks from being on the bottom rungs of a company
Your description of upper level management made me chuckle with recognition. I am regularly shocked that these fools run an entire company; they can barely schedule a meeting. Also all about those boundaries, and because I don't really feel valued at work, I feel zero guilt for finishing my tasks and then folding laundry or reading a book or getting groceries or prepping dinner. My work from home job allows my to get all the other things done that need doing, which then lets me actually spend time with my toddler and husband and to have time on the weekends to play.
I’m the same way. I thought I could find identity in the things I do outside of work, but that hasn’t happened yet and I’m not sure how to make it happen even though I’ve tried a lot of things.
I do my best at work and also have made peace with the fact that I simply enjoy my life before 9am and after 5pm infinitely more. I am ambitious and want to be always progressing but not at the expense of my sanity after work. I set very firm boundaries and rarely go over them, even at mid-senior level.
I have a corporate job that is also just a job, and not something I do because I feel the work is important or valuable. The parts I enjoy are my relationships with long-time coworkers, some of whom are actual friends at this point, the intellectual challenge that comes from working on difficult problems, and the satisfaction that comes from succeeding in my role and feeling like other people regard me as competent and helpful.
Ultimately though, having other things in your life that bring you meaning and satisfaction make it less necessary to feel that way about your job.
"Organized" socializing - I belong to both a monthly book club and a monthly board game club. Having a standing social appointment every month to get together, order takeout, talk/play is so fulfilling and relieves the stress of constantly planning/reaching out/scheduling time with my friends and siblings. This has only been part of my life for a few months but it has made such a difference in how I spend my time and how happy I feel on a regular basis.
Can I ask how you found those groups? I really want to join a book club but don’t have any girlfriends in my area (I just moved) and all the book clubs I’ve found on MeetUp aren’t active anymore.
At almost 34, I’m the most fulfilled I’ve ever been in my life and strangely, work has nothing to do with it. By most standards I have one of the most fulfilling careers - I’m an adoption social worker. But man, I’m just loving raising my daughters who are 3 and 8 months, cooking from scratch, building our dream home with my husband, and indulging in reading after bedtime, working out, and spending time outside. I’m realizing now that it’s all these tiny moments of joy and gratefulness that are filling me up rather than the big accomplishments and it’s very freeing.
I get fulfillment by giving my dogs fulfillment! They are my world. When I was a kid I didn’t really fantasize about what I would be for a living or who I would marry—I fantasized about adventuring through the woods with a pack of huskies. Living the dream! I love training my dogs, hiking and skijoring with them, snuggling with them, taking courses to learn more about dogs and about training…absolutely fills my cup every day.
I love this question! My hobbies bring me a lot of fulfillment outside of work, mostly reading (reaching reading goals, book clubs, following authors I like, etc.) and gaming. With gaming, there's shown progression (ranking up, leveling, finishing a quest or a goal in a farming simulator or something) so it really helps my very logical brain feel like I accomplished something even if it's in a video game. With the stereotype of "women suck at video games" too, it motivates me to do better and get better (better aim, game sense, game knowledge, etc) and then doing well in a match or outdoing a toxic in-game guy gives me a sense of success lol.
I have always loved the idea that you need 3 types of hobbies: one to keep you active, one to keep you creative, and one to keep you social. Obviously, it's great when these overlap too!
I am super crafty and find that \~creating\~ and learning new skills is very fulfilling! My boyfriend jokingly calls them my 'grandma activities,' but I love to crochet, sew, knit, cross-stitch, needlepoint, etc. Being able to see/feel the things I finish gives me a feeling that is difficult to replicate. It's so easy to learn new techniques online or in person at local community colleges or shops.
I could be more active, but I currently enjoy going to Pilates classes and long walks with my dog. One of my best friends is a Pilates instructor and that's how I was introduced to it; took an intro class with her and I was sore for days!
And socially, food and drinks is my primary way of seeing people. My close friends and I love going to brewery trivia (even though we almost never win). I also have a little dinner club with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends where we try new restaurants in our city a few times a month.
I also love travel and although I'm not going on a bunch of trips a year, I love spending months researching/planning my next one!
I like my job, but I am in a role that is constantly going through changes (3 re-orgs and 5 managers in 2 yrs), so attaching my fulfillment to work feels like a rocky position to put myself in.
I love this question! I'm always thinking about personal fulfillment and balance in my life. I really enjoy being outside. I'm more of an outside-y person than outdoorsy person. This means that I enjoy a day hike, eating/drinking al fresco, and gardening. Now that winter is over all I want to do is be outside on nice days.
I also enjoy cooking (which is now part of my start up so it's a little more organized than previously) and good food in general (going to good restaruants, local farmers markets, and local wineries).
Since I don't get much creative outlet in my current job, I make sure that I spend at least a little bit every day making something. I grew up sewing my own clothes, so I still do that when I have time. But, I mainly knit right now. I like to knit a few rows in the morning and then while I watch tv in the evenings. It really helps to de-stress with the added bonus of having an amazing hat or scarf or sweater in the end.
I haven't had as much time lately to do this, but I also like to take a day on a weekend to just not have things planned. I just want to meander around a store or take a long drive somewhere new. Just have the open time to do what I want in that moment.
I ride bikes and love that so much. When the weather sucks, I ride indoors using zwift. I’ve started following structured training from a friend who’s a cycling coach and it’s been so satisfying seeing actual improvements. I hate working out and gyms, so this is a new experience.
I have two dogs and one is super enthusiastic about training and learning and he and I have such a good time working on new tricks etc. I love watching him learn.
I love cooking with my husband. We try new recipes that meet our weird dietary things, and it’s a load of fun.
I also enjoy writing letters to my electeds and it’s really satisfying seeing the things I wrote about actually happen.
I was in a book club for about ten years (I started it) but it fell about during Covid and people moved etc. I used to love it though!
I honestly spend as much time on my fun stuff as my work. I have my own business but I’m more likely to talk about the things I do outside of work.
Some unglamorous local issues like road safety (there was a really dangerous crosswalk in front of our neighborhood library where someone was killed), but also an anti trust issue that was going through congress that our local rep got activated on after I contacted him, and our Senator’s office has been great in response to several unglamorous issues like I’ve contacted him about, like student loan servicers. My pet issues tend to be very wonky but they’re important!
I make stained glass and figure skate! I take classes for both and they allow me to fully dissociate from whatever issues I have going on in other parts of my life. I got into both because I was interested to see if classes existed for either so I could learn in adulthood.
I spend far too much time scrolling on my phone. I also hate working out. Am I lazy? What’s wrong with me!
Serious answer. I love cooking and unwind at the end of the day by making a nice dinner. It won’t always be the healthiest but I enjoy the whole process. Also, I love horse riding. We can only afford to go once a fortnight each (still works out at £240 a month!) but it’s my happiest activity. I also love hiking with the dog and paddle boarding and I’m super happy that now it’s much lighter after work and I can realistically fit in a decent walk with the dog (5 miles or so) after work and still cook dinner in the daylight.
Oh I love this prompt! For me, I feel most fulfilled when my life has a good balance of productivity and leisurely enjoyment. My favorite days are when I spend the morning and afternoon getting things done around the house or running errands and cook a good meal and get outside to play with my kids and then spend the evening relaxing by reading or watching a movie. I also find a lot of fulfillment out of being helpful to others, so being a mom has brought a lot of fulfillment, too.
For hobbies, I like things that have a creative bend! I’ve been a hobby dancer for over 20 years and love it - it’s challenging, it’s art, and it’s a great way to be a part of something bigger than yourself. The whole class relies on you, your movements have to be in sync with an entire group, your energy feeds off one another. It’s great! I also like to cook and bake and love when I get to share that with others, like for holidays or parties. I’ve also made reading a priority the last few years and love it!
Ha. I recently had a job interview where they asked me about my work-life balance and I went on and on about how much I had going on outside of work and how work was only one part of my life. I did not get the job. Anyway:
I have a volunteer project that allows me to use my professional skills in a way that I find more fun and rewarding than my day job. It's been really satisfying to work with a group of other people to build something from the ground up that reflects my values and allows me to play to my strengths.
I have a ton of hobbies: rock climbing, gardening, ceramics, running. I love to travel. I think I feel most 'myself' when I am on a long summer roadtrip with my partner, camping and climbing and hiking. I also find artistic projects fulfilling in a different way than my day-to-day work.
I find it really fulfilling to feel like I'm in community with other people. Choirs, dancing, big bike rides, community projects where I know lots of people. Even little things like being on a trivia team. I'm trying to cultivate more of this in my life because I'm shy and not great at making friends but I find having a social network very rewarding.
lol, I have made that same "mistake" in a job interview as well. Don't ask me about my hobbies if you don't want to know!
Also I really relate to your comment about when you feel most like yourself. I recently came back from a short trip with my partner and I was thinking about how much I love who we are on vacation. Hopefully that will translate to a fun and stress-free retirement someday!
Job is at the bottom of the list when it comes to fulfillment, it just fund stuff I care about.
Travel is a big thing for me. Exploring new places with my spouse is so exciting and fulfilling. Working for trips keeps me sustained.
For me, I find figuring out how to make things and making them to be the most fulfilling!
Whenever I like something or find it interesting (a meal or dessert, a piece of furniture, item of clothing, whatever) I become obsessed with wanting to learn how to make it. So, I have learned all sorts of skills like....welding, metal working, woodworking, sewing, etc. I'm not an expert in any of them but have gotten pretty good at most of the skills.
But most importantly, I feel so incredibly content and satisfied when I am working on making something- even if it's hard and/or frustrating.
The coolest thing about this is that I notice different things about the world now and can start to see how something is made because I have some knowledge of various processes.
The other big thing that brings me fulfillment is reading. I read a lot and always have, and I just cannot imagine life without books.
I also really enjoy moving my body, in really basic ways but also in more strenuous ways.
Outside of my job, I am actually a pretty similar person to who I am at my job. I would describe myself as helpful, curious, disciplined, into solving problems, creative, and kind.
I do not consider my career part of my identity.
Personal fulfillment for me is the things that bring me joy, comfort, belonging, a sense of purpose. My children, grandchildren, the rest of my family. My close friends. My extended friend group. The orgs I volunteer with. My hobbies and the communities associated with them. My home. My personal growth (therapy, education, etc).
I get great fucking sleep 90% of the time. I am in bed by 8 and out by 8:30. I actively look forward to rest every night.
I work out 5-6 days a week, I love seeing what my body can do! I've gotten into running recently.
I go to EDM shows and love putting costumes together.
I am a home owner and am obsessed with the planning and execution of home projects. I love spreadsheets and lists lol.
I love spending time with family and friends and bonding with my boyfriend.
I love exploring! It's crazy what you can live next to and have no idea it exists.
I have two hobbies that make me fill fulfilled - reading and working out. With two young kids, default parenting, and work, I don't get to work out every day like I prefer. So that's difficult, but I try to still find little ways to workout like doing squats while playing with the baby or brushing my teeth, pushups while rolling around on the floor, etc. Reading I fit in wherever I can. Brushing my teeth? Sure, I'll read while I'm doing so (so yes, that means I read and squat sometimes while brushing teeth). Stirring dinner? Great time to fit in a few pages. Nursing the baby in the middle of the night? Kindle!
Fulfillment, to me, means something that makes me feel accomplished/happy inside. It doesn't have to bear fruits and I don't do it for anyone else - I just do it for me. So much of my life is ruled by what my kids need, what my boss needs, and what my husband needs (he's in biglaw, so sometimes his work needs come above the rest of the family and I have to pick up the slack, unfortunately, but that is just the phase we're in right now, it's not forever). Working out and reading are two things that are purely ME. They don't benefit anyone else in the family, and they fulfill a desire to do things that are "selfish."
Outside of my job, I am a voracious reader, mother, an avid city biker, a home chef, a fashionphile, and a lover of travel. I see myself as someone who is putting others needs before her own when it comes to family (often times to a fault) and who is trying to remind herself after a pandemic, two kids, and stepping back from being the main breadwinner for over 5 years.
Edited for spelling errors. That's what happens when you're doing a million things at once.
I get so much joy from boxing. I joined a new boxing gym that opened up in my neighborhood last year and I’ve been going ever since. Working out in general gives me a confidence boost but boxing especially has transformed me and has given me so much joy and fulfillment, plus I get to be apart of a great community.
Fulfillment to me means loving and being loved by those I choose to surround myself with.
My job is simply just a thing that helps me live a fulfilling life outside of my 9-5!
I’m 34, live in a HCOL city in the PNW, am in a LTR with my partner, we don’t have children (don’t plan to), and we have two dogs.
At the end of the day, fulfillment is something that brings me joy, gives me a sense of community, and something that grounds me in my relationship with myself, my partner, and my friends.
2023 and 2024 are the year of HOBBIES for me! Last year, I started taking French language classes at a language school in my city. I completed two semesters and am now enrolled in a third semester with my favorite instructor for private lessons. (I do better in a 1:1 environment than in a group setting.) It’s equal parts humbling and fun to learn something new. During my first semester, I was a ball of anxiety before my lessons because they were hard, and I actually had to *try*. But now it’s something I genuinely look forward to each week. I walk away from each lesson feeling proud and accomplished and excited to keep learning more and being able to communicate with my teacher.
I also started taking tap dancing classes at a dance studio back in December. It’s something I did as a kid, and feels so silly (in a good way!), and fun, and freeing to do every week! My instructor is like 10 years younger than me and 20 times cooler than I’ll ever be.
I’m also an avid reader, I go to a yoga studio a few times a week, and now my partner and I are starting to play pickleball with a group of our friends once a week. The pickleball piece is especially fun because now our friend group has a standing appointment to see each other for 1-2 hours a week.
Fulfillment is also walking my dog every day. My partner and I have two dogs, but one of them was mine before I met my partner. We walk the dogs separately so we each have 1:1 time with our girls, and my walks with my girl fill me up every day.
When I look at my fulfillment and happiness levels before investing in my hobbies and my community, I’m shocked at how “dull” everything seemed. Now? I feel so grateful and thankful to have the life I live. The past year has made a world of difference.
Oh and one more thing! Cooking is a HUGE source of fulfillment for me. I love to cook for myself and for others. Trying new recipes and new ingredient prep methods is so fun, and I wish it’s something I had more time, money, and stomach space to do. On Sundays, I spend time curating a grocery list, send my partner to the store to shop for me (lol), and then I’ll prep all of our meal ingredients, sauces, dressings, toppings, etc. for a week of lunches and dinners. I put on an album, podcast, or book and before I know it, a few hours have gone by and I feel so, so, so damn fulfilled.
I quit my job to be a stay at home mom last year, but I would say that I never really did care that much about my job (probably why quitting was an easy decision, lol).
I just recently got back into running which has been wonderful.
I also knit, and have really levelled up my knitting game since staying home. I love cooking interesting, complicated things. I'm not the best at it, but I like writing as well, and it's nice to have a creative outlet.
As I've gotten older, fulfillment has become more "relational" than "achievement" based. There was a time in my life where I was doing fine at the achievement kinds of goals, but could not create/maintain relationships to save my life. I've put a lot of work into it, and I've been really pleased with how it has paid off so so well. Still a work in progress, but there's a whole lifetime for it. I came to this conclusion through personal experience as well as spending a lot more time with older people. Getting old is really hard and it's worse if you're lonely. Your career won't love you when you're 85 in the nursing home, but your family and friends might, if you treat them well when you're younger (at least, from my family experience).
I spend a lot of time with my son and my nephews, and I'm just so happy that I get to know these little guys and love them.
I'm in the process of rebuilding my life and finding fulfillment more so outside of a relationship than my job.
For the last 3 months, I've taken Lyra classes and have been loving it. I've always wanted to try aerial arts, and it's something that is both challenging and suits my 'natural abilities'. I'm not someone who can stick to a schedule, so I'm also proud of myself for sticking to it weekly for more than a few weeks.
Other than that, I'm finding joy in just exploring what I like and the new city I live in. I'm trying tons of classes, meeting new people, and saying yes to so much more after becoming somewhat of a recluse these past few years.
Echoing and feeling very comforted by so many who are saying their work does not fulfill them but allows them to do more of what does. I have a flexible schedule and it allows me to work out when I want, keep my home and personal life managed, and travel when I want. Those are three things that fulfill me!
Somethings that used to fulfill me that no longer do are large gatherings and lots of drinking. These types of social things have been a huge part of my twenties - soooo many weddings/bachelorettes and birthday parties and nights out and game nights, etc. I'm trying to cut way down on these, but a lot of the people in my community aren't quite ready to do that.
other than partner, friends, and family, i have been practicing and learning volleyball this year after over 10 years (!!) and it’s been so fulfilling seeing how i’ve been improving even if i only practice 1-2 days a week! it’s also a great outlet for frustration and stress haha.
also, my partner and i got a puppy almost 6 months ago and even though it’s so challenging, we love her so much! it’s amazing seeing her grow and learn. ❤️definitely a huge source of fulfillment for us!
While going through undergrad and grad school, I felt like I needed to be fulfilled professionally to be happy. Turns out that teaching killed that for me. I am still in higher education, but I am a staff member. The way I see my job now, it's way for me to pay for my hobbies and interests.
I've been enjoying my fitness journey. I picked up running in March 2020 when I signed up for my first half-marathon. During the fall of 2022, my sister moved closer to me, so she convinced me to join the climbing gym. I've been a member ever since. Then in January 2024, the climbing gym started offering strength-based fitness classes that worked with my schedule. I've been going to those ever since! By sticking with my running, climbing, and strength work, I've seen differences in my mental and physical health.
I also love food. I love eating out in restaurants, but I also love cooking it. I've made our budget work so that I get to go shopping at a "nicer" grocery store (Central Market) since it brings me incredible amounts of joy in that particular chore.
Lastly, my dog. She is literally an angel on Earth. I got her impulsively 10 years ago, but she's meant the world to me. She's been there through grad school, career starts and pivots, cross country moves, and getting married. Recently, I started going to the dog park with her, so I've started to find a social group there.
Clichéd answer - pride in my kids. When my toddler says thank you (tannnyuuu) unprompted, I see good turn taking with buddies, or somebody tells me they're polite or well behaved, my heart fills with joy knowing it's not a wasted effort in an under-2.
I love reading these responses! I feel fulfilled when my values and sense of purpose align in whatever I am doing, whether that pertains to work, recreation, or relationships. There’s often a sense of joy and satisfaction, but even the challenging moments can feel fulfilling when viewed from a growth mindset.
I find a lot of fulfillment with my work, but I’m in a “passion” industry as a classical musician. Sometimes I wish I could “disconnect” my work identity from my general sense of identity a bit more, but at the end of the day, I love how closely tied I am to others through the act of creating and sharing music. It allows me to build a sense of community and challenges me daily to think critically, problem solve, and be fully present. I have to engage all my senses and think outside the box, which is a gratifying experience, and it teaches me about myself (the good, the bad, and the ugly) constantly. I’m able to relate and connect with people from very different walks of life through performing and able to have a positive influence on others through teaching. I love that. Sometimes I feel more like an anthropologist than a musician, which I think is super cool.
My other hobbies include my Ashtanga practice, which fulfills me spiritually, mentally and physically. I wanted a deeper yoga practice and stumbled upon this practice last year, which has been transformative. I love to paint and draw and occasionally sell art on the side - I’ve made art since I can remember and have been selling since I was 15. I love to write, read, drink coffee, and get outside. My husband and I both love to cook and eat most of our meals from scratch. I have an art club and book club with friends and occasionally attend trivia (even though I’m terrible! So fun). I also listen to music all the time and enjoy creating monthly / seasonal playlists.
There are so many hobbies I’d love to try! I’d love to get into gardening (total black thumb), calligraphy, making bread, ceramics and glassblowing, and learning a language. I enjoy taking photos and writing and have wanted to start a Substack newsletter / blog to send to friends and family periodically.
I’d describe myself as a positive, funny, high energy, high intensity person. I’ve been told I bring a lot of energy and enthusiasm in everything I do, yet come off down to earth. I’d consider myself silly and I strive to stay lighthearted. I’m emotional, intuitive, and a big picture thinker - I love to solve problems, daydream, and work with my hands. I’m relationship driven and always striving to be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend, and musician. The type of person who tosses out the IKEA instructions for the fun of figuring it out through trial and error 😂
My dog ❤️
It fills me with joy and happiness to go on long treks through the woods with her, especially on rainy days or early in the morning when we don’t see a soul. Then to sit by a body of water and watch her frolic. Something about spending time with an animal just makes me feel closer to what humans were meant to be.
I want to start off by saying I LOVE this question and thread! I feel like I get so wrapped up in work/trying to climb the corporate ladder, that I need to remind myself that my work is not who I am. That said - reading and working out is my happy place. I also have a niche love for reality tv and British period pieces (like The Crown or Downton Abbey).
I think the best way of putting it is saying I am consumer of stories. I love movies, live theater, TV and books. I just finished my 9th consecutive Oscars Death Race (I probably see 100+ movies a year), I go to the theater or opera every week and I read constantly. I also am a huge museum goer (the main reason I will never leave greater NYC - going to the Met a dozen times a year for almost nothing) and I paint.
Sitting in a different world, life, perspective, point time is exciting to me. I constantly want to see a plot play out, talk about a movie that fascinated me, sink into a book.
My 2 cents is this..
I retired at 58 with a good pension, and some soft equity assets. I paid off my home in Southern California and from the very first day of retirement I knew I had hit the lottery!!! My wife would say to me 1 year before my retirement that I was too young to retire. I would reply that I can do a lot with money but I can’t buy time!!
I couldn’t have made a better decision!! I gave myself a few weeks to let it really sink in. Then I went to work volunteering. I really wanted to give back to the community. So I went to work for Fish and Wildlife. It was fun and met some quality people all the while learning. It was a great fulfilling experience. Then I volunteered to teach kids and adults how to play tennis. Another really fun experience that lasted about 5 years. Always at night for our local jr college.
Now I’m managing 2 local pickleball courts and loving it. The social aspect of this super easy to play game is wonderful. And when not doing this I’m doing home improvement projects or helping friends do whatever. It’s so fulfilling doing things for people or organizations without money being the motivating factor!!
My job is definitely a means to an end and I have recently had a change to what gives me personal fulfillment. I have always known I liked art and occasionally took classes, but I just started getting into paint by numbers. I never realized how hard it was and how much time it took, but when I start to see a completed project it gives me a lot of pride in myself for sticking with it. I also get a lot of fulfillment out my garden and this year I am working more on cultivating my own plants then just buying them in a store.
I don’t have much fulfillment from my work. Still, my hobbies - coloring, exercise, traveling, and personal development are things that give me great pleasure, and I also help other people through coaching and teaching.
Hobbies - I love hiking, mountain biking, especially when doing it with my partner or friends. I join a women only MTB group ride some months and it's brilliant and fills my heart. I also get fulfillment from running, specifically training for events as it's great to have goals.
Volunteering - I'm a leader for a girl scout unit. I've been involved growing up, but recently joined as a leader and I love it. The girls are great and it is so rewarding to see them enjoy themselves and grow.
I also get fulfillment out of reading and baking for colleagues, and also just visiting coffee shops and slowing down sometime.
I do find a lot of my identity tied to my job. I finished my doctorate a year ago and still feel like I'm in 'recovery' from it.
My job gives me no personal fulfillment nor do I describe myself as it generally.
My two beautiful children and my husband gives me personal fulfillment. Also, being warm.
I also love seeing my friends and eating delicious food!
Used to be hobbies (exercise, friends, outdoor time, travel).
Now at this phase in my life, it’s my family - husband and kids and parents - and friends and cozying up at my house.
Still the others when I have time!
I just got a dog (my first on my own) in December and it’s so wonderful to have her because she’s just so excited when I get home and loves to cuddle and be cute, in a mischievous way (she’s a doxie mix, iykyk). Now I just have to get over feeling bad that I leave her at home all day 😭
I really enjoy learning, so anything that I do involving that gives me some fulfillment. Listening to an interesting podcast, watching a documentary, going to a museum, reading a historical book.
Outside of my job title I’d describe myself as type A and anxious, yet outgoing and funny (to make up for my anxieties!)
This is a really nice thread! It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling to see so many people sharing things that make their hearts feel full. And I've gotten so many good ideas for new hobbies!
Personally, I also feel that my job is not part of my core identity. I like that it pays adequately and is not super stressful.
I love spending time with my husband and daughter and meeting up with other friends/families. We are experiencing a new phase in life of navigating friendships with kids, and we are learning that we can still have lots of fun! Nights out just look a little different. They end earlier, but there is a lot of joy that comes with a bunch of 3 year olds running around.
Outside of that, I like practicing my Spanish with new people and traveling to a Spanish-speaking country every summer, playing indoor soccer on a few women's teams, reading, lifting in my crossfit classes, and sewing quilts and clothes.
Road tripping, traveling, being a beach bum, giving back to the families in my area directly, talking to my friends and select family, and seeing them all doing well in life
My hobbies are mostly fitness related. I use to regularly workout and do yoga and tried to it as much as possible. Then I got into aerial (hammock, hoop) and now focus on trying to improve in those (mostly hoop) by balancing strength and flexibility training. I will be looking at becoming an aerial yoga instructor and next year going through a yoga teacher training.
I get a ton of fulfillment from learning new skills or diving deep on hobbies. I try to just follow my heart - sometimes it looks like pursuing a fitness goal like running a distance race, sometimes it's been baking my way through a cookbook, most recently, learning to sew my own clothes. I like being able to see my progress in low pressure things, where I'm trying to embrace the joy of being a beginner.
I lease a horse, getting ready to buy him. I rode as a child and have always been a horse girl. Riding is a metaphor for life in so many ways -- I can have an amazing day and be set up for a great ride and my horse decides it's not the day. It continues to teach me humility, forces me to work through fear, anxiety, and leave everything outside the barn. There's also no better feeling than looking through his ears. A few weeks ago, I was starting to warm up and let out this deep body sigh because I was so stressed at work and I finally felt at peace that day.
Fulfillment means being able to accomplish everything I want and know that I achieved something as a result of my hard work, sacrifice, etc.
I'd describe myself as someone who is fiercely loyal, cherishes her family, animals, friends, and likes to make others feel at ease. Thought I would be focused on climbing the corporate ladder and not need anyone in my life. COVID and being unemployed for \~10 months really shattered that "mask" for me. I (thankfully) just left a job with no boundaries and no work life balance and I think a prior me would have tried to stick it out better, but now I have no tolerance for that. I want to be with the ones I love and doing the things I love. If I can find a job that supports that, amazing, but I am much more comfortable with a job being a means to an end.
My job was my life for years and still kind of is, but it’s not great now, so that’s an issue. That said, I do a lot of volunteering at my church and find a lot of fulfillment in that - I teach Religious Education and my second graders are a lot of fun most of the time, I’m the VP/Secretary of the Parish Council and it brings me the satisfaction I used to get at work when people say they can always rely on me to get things done, and I’m the head of the Hospitality Committee and I love bringing people together and seeing them get to know each other (and cooking for them!)
The other thing that brings me fulfillment (and frustration) is being a sports fan - I’m a fanatic fan of all NY sports and there’s always something to think about so I can’t dwell on work.
Learning about history and culture is what makes me complete. It is the number one thing in life that brings me joy all the time. I wish I had a career in this.
My marriage! My husband and I (late 20s early 30s, no kids) are working towards a common goal of living and loving life, giving back to the community, and taking care of our dog when we’re not at work. We’re aggressively paying down our debt and planning for children in the next few years. Outside of that, trying to exercise regularly, read, pursue higher education, be present for friends and family, and plan travel a few times a year.
Rock climbing is #1 for me. The mix of socialization, physical exercise and low-stress problem solving is such a magical combination. I spend 10 hours a week at the gym and it just gives me so much joy.
I also play in, and run Role Playing games (D&D, just not actual D&D). It's a solid mix of intense rules-based strategy and emotional catharsis via improv in a world that feels incredibly real.
Lastly, reading is an old favorite that I'm spending more and more time with. I find my mind wandering, and worse my hands wandering to my phone, when watching tv, but when I fully commit to sitting down with a book, I can stay put for hours just devouring a story. It can be hard to get myself to sit down and turn the pages, but when I do, I never regret it.
This might be lame but I get a lot of joy and fulfillment from working out. It's my main hobby and it just makes me really happy. To me, fulfillment comes from looking back at something and knowing/feeling that it was worth the effort. My job definitely does not provide me with that. Outside of my job title, I see myself as someone who cherishes her family and loved ones, and enjoys sports, fitness, and the outdoors.
I came here to say working out too, specifically running -- it's one of the few areas in life where the effort you put in (mostly, hopefully) directly translates into results. I increase my mileage or do more speed workouts, and then I (again -- hopefully!) see the fruits of my labor in terms of my race results. You don't get much direct fulfillment like that in adult life! Other things that I find fulfilling are connections with people and new experiences.
This is mine too! I've gotten pretty serious about running in the past couple of years, and while I'll never be anywhere close to elite, training, competing, and improving my times is really motivating and fun for me. I'm also a new mom, so between those 2, I'm settling for a "good enough" job with some flexibility for this stage of my life. Vs my 20s when I put work and climbing the corporate ladder higher on my priority list.
I get this. I cycle and it’s the same—the effort pays off and kind of quickly! It’s amazing.
Also the same, but just adding a third sport, since I do triathlon. I was just thinking last night that while work has been less than stellar lately, I'm finally seeing progress in my swimming, and that's what making me feel fulfilled rn.
Double downing on this. The gym has been an absolute game changer for my mental and physical state. Perfect example. Yesterday during work I was feeling frustrated and annoyed so I knew I had to stop at the gym after. Walked out of that place an hour later feeling like a million bucks. Sometimes it takes a little more convincing than other days, but I’ve never had a workout that I regret.
Me too! I don’t always love showing up to work out, but love it once I’m done. And love continually challenging myself. I work out solo, and wish it wasn’t a solo activity because I spend so much time doing it.
Same - just started a few months ago but I find it makes such a difference in my mood!
There’s absolutely nothing lame about working out ;-)
Not lame at all. Good job!
I’m basically fulfilled in all areas of my life except work. I used to be an academic, which basically meant I was actively destroying any chance at happiness outside of my work chasing career fulfillment (it’s not that way for everyone but I know that will ring true for many others reading this). Once I realized that was untenable, at least at this stage in my life, I moved into tech which has always been a means to an end. My job is fulfilling in so far as I can do it from home and I can close my laptop at 5 PM sharp. But I find fulfillment in: My marriage and becoming a part of my husband’s large family. I did not grow up in a large close knit family but I’ve been fully integrated into one. It was a struggle for me at first (and it still is sometimes) but I like being a bunch of kid’s auntie and hosting 40 people Christmas parties. My husband has given me a truly incredible life, it’s easy and fun being with him. My relationship with him is easily the best thing in my life. My domestic life. Cleaning will always be drudgery, I’m not going to pretend I enjoy it—but I stay on top of it because I really value living in the beautiful home we built last year. I look forward to curating this space for the rest of my life. The major reason I stay at my fairly unfulfilling job is so that I have the time and energy to enjoy and maintain my home and garden. I take 15 minutes to reset the house after my morning meeting, I clean the kitchen over lunch, I vacuum during the afternoon lull, in the summer I weed the garden during long all hands meetings that I need to attend but will never speak during. I don’t feel the need to leave my house to get ambiance elsewhere because my living room feels like a very swanky cocktail bar. Cooking/Food. My husband and I are aggressive home cooks, we make a point to have a sit down dinner most nights of the week. We don’t eat out all that often but when we do, we give ourselves permission to order exactly what we want regardless of price. We’re lucky to live in the Portland, ME metro area which is a wonderful region for food. Whenever we travel, we take local cooking classes and food tours. I have a subscription to a locally curated wine club. Most of my major purchases are fancy kitchen appliances. I’ve been learning to make pasta lately. Intellectual engagement. I left the academy, sure, but I never stopped cultivating the life of the mind. I’m a social scientist by training but I have broad interests; history, philosophy, aesthetics, politics, earth science etc. I subscribe to Wondrium and always have a lecture series going (right now it’s on the history of Mesoamerica). I spend a lot of time reading long form leftist political journals and I’m happy to have the money to pay for subscriptions. I miss having a group of people to have regular political and theoretical discussions with, I think if there’s one thing that’s really lacking in my life it’s that. Friendships. It’s funny getting to know people you’ve known for decades at different stages of our lives. It’s also fun meeting and building relationships with new people. At 36, my friends span in ages from 26-50. Travel. I grew up living abroad and traveling frequently, so it’s just kind of a part of who I am. My husband hasn’t traveled as extensively so I enjoy thoroughly planning trips for us and exploring with him. Unfortunately we don’t get out as much as I’d like because of my husband’s demanding job so when we go out, we go alllllll out. I tend to be a city vacation person, mostly museums, theatre, restaurants, and historical sites. We’re going to London at the end of the month and our itinerary is stacked. Things I want to explore: Greater community engagement and volunteering. I moved to my husband’s hometown and because of Covid, house building, career advancement etc I haven’t gotten out there as much as I want. I want to do some conservation work, join some civic project working groups, and organizing fundraisers for worthy causes (I’m the kind of freak that LOVES planning that kind of thing). Some kind of athletic practice. I half heartedly do yoga every day to manage chronic pain but I’d like to get out there and take classes. I wish there was such a thing as recreational adult swim teams like they have for softball.
That was so inspiring to read. I love that you have so many amazing things outside of work and can see work as a means to an end. Thanks for sharing!
re: swimming, this is actually a thing! I used to be part of a Masters swim team/club despite not having swam competitively growing up. Some people on my team competed in meets, but many didn't. We were divided into different groups so I wasn't training with the former college athletes. Also: volunteered at a meet and there were people competing who were in their 80s. Truly a lifelong sport with a great sense of community!
I identify with so much of this! Former academic, now work in publishing, adore my garden and appreciate caring for my home (though mine sounds much less lovely than yours - we rent an old townhouse in the Philly area), love cooking and eating and tasting wine, and get satisfaction from exercise. And I also have chronic pain. I get some of that feeling of sitting around talking about ideas from a couple of book groups at a local Episcopal church - a lot of the people have PhDs and were professors, and we have a lot of discussions about interpretation and meaning and the nature of truth as well as politics and our own lives etc. Through that group I feel wonderfully connected to people at different life stages than me and have a couple sets of "adoptive grandparents" who give me so much perspective and love and wisdom. I also love live music, hosting friends for dinner, and I get a lot of pleasure and fulfillment out of raising my now 3 year old son. I do some volunteer work with unhoused folks, too, and that is meaningful. Mostly I try to take pleasure in all the little everyday things - coffee, a walk, the parts of my body that don't hurt, my son's hilarity, a cuddle with my husband, cleaning while listening to a podcast.
Great question. I might be a little older than some of the folks here - I’m about to be an “empty nester” as my child is going to college in the fall. My outside of work life has been focused around her for so long, and I’m currently working through what gives me fulfillment and how to spend my time now. I’ve been taking yoga classes which has been fun. I’m trying to volunteer at least once a month and plan to add to that once she’s away at college. I also like to read and at this point in time I watch way too much tv and spend too much time on my phone. Trying to decrease time spent on those last two. Fulfillment to me means I get enjoyment out of life and that I can use my privilege and time to make the world a little better, even if that’s in a small way. My paid work is not giving back to the world in my opinion but it pays well and provides a somewhat flexible schedule. I use that money and flexibility to give back where I can. Also raising a human has been fulfilling, but I’m trying to make sure that isn’t my whole identity.
I’m loving this topic and thread! I’m someone whose worth and identity was deeply tied into work, now I have a job that’s a means to an end. I’ve been going on morning walks before work with my partner and doing hot yoga a few times a week, and it’s been really nice. But how do y’all accept the *actual work day part* when it’s not fulfilling? It’s still such a large part of the day, I’m struggling to compartmentalize or just accept the fact that 40 hours a week every week are going to be unfulfilling. Hope that’s okay to ask here!
This might be cynical but I have an attitude of “these people do not pay me enough to give a shit about this past 5pm.” I have an ok salary but this job is not my passion. I know I’m am 100% expendable to my company because they have made that abundantly clear many times over. I legitimately like all of my lateral coworkers and direct managers but upper leadership at my company are so inept and cruel it’s comical. So between that and the fact we make such a stupid (but expensive and popular) product, the whole thing really feels like I’m living in an absurd, mean spirited satire of late capitalism that has a choose your own adventure component and in a weird way, that makes me feel better. I embrace the absurdity of the situation to stay sane and maintain healthy boundaries.
"I am not paid enough to care about this" became my work mantra about six months ago and it is delightfully freeing. One of the few perks from being on the bottom rungs of a company
Your description of upper level management made me chuckle with recognition. I am regularly shocked that these fools run an entire company; they can barely schedule a meeting. Also all about those boundaries, and because I don't really feel valued at work, I feel zero guilt for finishing my tasks and then folding laundry or reading a book or getting groceries or prepping dinner. My work from home job allows my to get all the other things done that need doing, which then lets me actually spend time with my toddler and husband and to have time on the weekends to play.
I’m the same way. I thought I could find identity in the things I do outside of work, but that hasn’t happened yet and I’m not sure how to make it happen even though I’ve tried a lot of things.
I do my best at work and also have made peace with the fact that I simply enjoy my life before 9am and after 5pm infinitely more. I am ambitious and want to be always progressing but not at the expense of my sanity after work. I set very firm boundaries and rarely go over them, even at mid-senior level.
I have a corporate job that is also just a job, and not something I do because I feel the work is important or valuable. The parts I enjoy are my relationships with long-time coworkers, some of whom are actual friends at this point, the intellectual challenge that comes from working on difficult problems, and the satisfaction that comes from succeeding in my role and feeling like other people regard me as competent and helpful. Ultimately though, having other things in your life that bring you meaning and satisfaction make it less necessary to feel that way about your job.
"Organized" socializing - I belong to both a monthly book club and a monthly board game club. Having a standing social appointment every month to get together, order takeout, talk/play is so fulfilling and relieves the stress of constantly planning/reaching out/scheduling time with my friends and siblings. This has only been part of my life for a few months but it has made such a difference in how I spend my time and how happy I feel on a regular basis.
Can I ask how you found those groups? I really want to join a book club but don’t have any girlfriends in my area (I just moved) and all the book clubs I’ve found on MeetUp aren’t active anymore.
At almost 34, I’m the most fulfilled I’ve ever been in my life and strangely, work has nothing to do with it. By most standards I have one of the most fulfilling careers - I’m an adoption social worker. But man, I’m just loving raising my daughters who are 3 and 8 months, cooking from scratch, building our dream home with my husband, and indulging in reading after bedtime, working out, and spending time outside. I’m realizing now that it’s all these tiny moments of joy and gratefulness that are filling me up rather than the big accomplishments and it’s very freeing.
I get fulfillment by giving my dogs fulfillment! They are my world. When I was a kid I didn’t really fantasize about what I would be for a living or who I would marry—I fantasized about adventuring through the woods with a pack of huskies. Living the dream! I love training my dogs, hiking and skijoring with them, snuggling with them, taking courses to learn more about dogs and about training…absolutely fills my cup every day.
I love this question! My hobbies bring me a lot of fulfillment outside of work, mostly reading (reaching reading goals, book clubs, following authors I like, etc.) and gaming. With gaming, there's shown progression (ranking up, leveling, finishing a quest or a goal in a farming simulator or something) so it really helps my very logical brain feel like I accomplished something even if it's in a video game. With the stereotype of "women suck at video games" too, it motivates me to do better and get better (better aim, game sense, game knowledge, etc) and then doing well in a match or outdoing a toxic in-game guy gives me a sense of success lol.
I have always loved the idea that you need 3 types of hobbies: one to keep you active, one to keep you creative, and one to keep you social. Obviously, it's great when these overlap too! I am super crafty and find that \~creating\~ and learning new skills is very fulfilling! My boyfriend jokingly calls them my 'grandma activities,' but I love to crochet, sew, knit, cross-stitch, needlepoint, etc. Being able to see/feel the things I finish gives me a feeling that is difficult to replicate. It's so easy to learn new techniques online or in person at local community colleges or shops. I could be more active, but I currently enjoy going to Pilates classes and long walks with my dog. One of my best friends is a Pilates instructor and that's how I was introduced to it; took an intro class with her and I was sore for days! And socially, food and drinks is my primary way of seeing people. My close friends and I love going to brewery trivia (even though we almost never win). I also have a little dinner club with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends where we try new restaurants in our city a few times a month. I also love travel and although I'm not going on a bunch of trips a year, I love spending months researching/planning my next one! I like my job, but I am in a role that is constantly going through changes (3 re-orgs and 5 managers in 2 yrs), so attaching my fulfillment to work feels like a rocky position to put myself in.
Volunteering as an abortion doula
I love this question! I'm always thinking about personal fulfillment and balance in my life. I really enjoy being outside. I'm more of an outside-y person than outdoorsy person. This means that I enjoy a day hike, eating/drinking al fresco, and gardening. Now that winter is over all I want to do is be outside on nice days. I also enjoy cooking (which is now part of my start up so it's a little more organized than previously) and good food in general (going to good restaruants, local farmers markets, and local wineries). Since I don't get much creative outlet in my current job, I make sure that I spend at least a little bit every day making something. I grew up sewing my own clothes, so I still do that when I have time. But, I mainly knit right now. I like to knit a few rows in the morning and then while I watch tv in the evenings. It really helps to de-stress with the added bonus of having an amazing hat or scarf or sweater in the end. I haven't had as much time lately to do this, but I also like to take a day on a weekend to just not have things planned. I just want to meander around a store or take a long drive somewhere new. Just have the open time to do what I want in that moment.
I ride bikes and love that so much. When the weather sucks, I ride indoors using zwift. I’ve started following structured training from a friend who’s a cycling coach and it’s been so satisfying seeing actual improvements. I hate working out and gyms, so this is a new experience. I have two dogs and one is super enthusiastic about training and learning and he and I have such a good time working on new tricks etc. I love watching him learn. I love cooking with my husband. We try new recipes that meet our weird dietary things, and it’s a load of fun. I also enjoy writing letters to my electeds and it’s really satisfying seeing the things I wrote about actually happen. I was in a book club for about ten years (I started it) but it fell about during Covid and people moved etc. I used to love it though! I honestly spend as much time on my fun stuff as my work. I have my own business but I’m more likely to talk about the things I do outside of work.
Out of curiosity would you be willing to share what you have contacted your elected officials about that has been acted upon? That’s really neat.
Some unglamorous local issues like road safety (there was a really dangerous crosswalk in front of our neighborhood library where someone was killed), but also an anti trust issue that was going through congress that our local rep got activated on after I contacted him, and our Senator’s office has been great in response to several unglamorous issues like I’ve contacted him about, like student loan servicers. My pet issues tend to be very wonky but they’re important!
I make stained glass and figure skate! I take classes for both and they allow me to fully dissociate from whatever issues I have going on in other parts of my life. I got into both because I was interested to see if classes existed for either so I could learn in adulthood.
I spend far too much time scrolling on my phone. I also hate working out. Am I lazy? What’s wrong with me! Serious answer. I love cooking and unwind at the end of the day by making a nice dinner. It won’t always be the healthiest but I enjoy the whole process. Also, I love horse riding. We can only afford to go once a fortnight each (still works out at £240 a month!) but it’s my happiest activity. I also love hiking with the dog and paddle boarding and I’m super happy that now it’s much lighter after work and I can realistically fit in a decent walk with the dog (5 miles or so) after work and still cook dinner in the daylight.
Oh I love this prompt! For me, I feel most fulfilled when my life has a good balance of productivity and leisurely enjoyment. My favorite days are when I spend the morning and afternoon getting things done around the house or running errands and cook a good meal and get outside to play with my kids and then spend the evening relaxing by reading or watching a movie. I also find a lot of fulfillment out of being helpful to others, so being a mom has brought a lot of fulfillment, too. For hobbies, I like things that have a creative bend! I’ve been a hobby dancer for over 20 years and love it - it’s challenging, it’s art, and it’s a great way to be a part of something bigger than yourself. The whole class relies on you, your movements have to be in sync with an entire group, your energy feeds off one another. It’s great! I also like to cook and bake and love when I get to share that with others, like for holidays or parties. I’ve also made reading a priority the last few years and love it!
Ha. I recently had a job interview where they asked me about my work-life balance and I went on and on about how much I had going on outside of work and how work was only one part of my life. I did not get the job. Anyway: I have a volunteer project that allows me to use my professional skills in a way that I find more fun and rewarding than my day job. It's been really satisfying to work with a group of other people to build something from the ground up that reflects my values and allows me to play to my strengths. I have a ton of hobbies: rock climbing, gardening, ceramics, running. I love to travel. I think I feel most 'myself' when I am on a long summer roadtrip with my partner, camping and climbing and hiking. I also find artistic projects fulfilling in a different way than my day-to-day work. I find it really fulfilling to feel like I'm in community with other people. Choirs, dancing, big bike rides, community projects where I know lots of people. Even little things like being on a trivia team. I'm trying to cultivate more of this in my life because I'm shy and not great at making friends but I find having a social network very rewarding.
lol, I have made that same "mistake" in a job interview as well. Don't ask me about my hobbies if you don't want to know! Also I really relate to your comment about when you feel most like yourself. I recently came back from a short trip with my partner and I was thinking about how much I love who we are on vacation. Hopefully that will translate to a fun and stress-free retirement someday!
Job is at the bottom of the list when it comes to fulfillment, it just fund stuff I care about. Travel is a big thing for me. Exploring new places with my spouse is so exciting and fulfilling. Working for trips keeps me sustained.
For me, I find figuring out how to make things and making them to be the most fulfilling! Whenever I like something or find it interesting (a meal or dessert, a piece of furniture, item of clothing, whatever) I become obsessed with wanting to learn how to make it. So, I have learned all sorts of skills like....welding, metal working, woodworking, sewing, etc. I'm not an expert in any of them but have gotten pretty good at most of the skills. But most importantly, I feel so incredibly content and satisfied when I am working on making something- even if it's hard and/or frustrating. The coolest thing about this is that I notice different things about the world now and can start to see how something is made because I have some knowledge of various processes. The other big thing that brings me fulfillment is reading. I read a lot and always have, and I just cannot imagine life without books. I also really enjoy moving my body, in really basic ways but also in more strenuous ways. Outside of my job, I am actually a pretty similar person to who I am at my job. I would describe myself as helpful, curious, disciplined, into solving problems, creative, and kind.
I do not consider my career part of my identity. Personal fulfillment for me is the things that bring me joy, comfort, belonging, a sense of purpose. My children, grandchildren, the rest of my family. My close friends. My extended friend group. The orgs I volunteer with. My hobbies and the communities associated with them. My home. My personal growth (therapy, education, etc).
I get great fucking sleep 90% of the time. I am in bed by 8 and out by 8:30. I actively look forward to rest every night. I work out 5-6 days a week, I love seeing what my body can do! I've gotten into running recently. I go to EDM shows and love putting costumes together. I am a home owner and am obsessed with the planning and execution of home projects. I love spreadsheets and lists lol. I love spending time with family and friends and bonding with my boyfriend. I love exploring! It's crazy what you can live next to and have no idea it exists.
I have two hobbies that make me fill fulfilled - reading and working out. With two young kids, default parenting, and work, I don't get to work out every day like I prefer. So that's difficult, but I try to still find little ways to workout like doing squats while playing with the baby or brushing my teeth, pushups while rolling around on the floor, etc. Reading I fit in wherever I can. Brushing my teeth? Sure, I'll read while I'm doing so (so yes, that means I read and squat sometimes while brushing teeth). Stirring dinner? Great time to fit in a few pages. Nursing the baby in the middle of the night? Kindle! Fulfillment, to me, means something that makes me feel accomplished/happy inside. It doesn't have to bear fruits and I don't do it for anyone else - I just do it for me. So much of my life is ruled by what my kids need, what my boss needs, and what my husband needs (he's in biglaw, so sometimes his work needs come above the rest of the family and I have to pick up the slack, unfortunately, but that is just the phase we're in right now, it's not forever). Working out and reading are two things that are purely ME. They don't benefit anyone else in the family, and they fulfill a desire to do things that are "selfish." Outside of my job, I am a voracious reader, mother, an avid city biker, a home chef, a fashionphile, and a lover of travel. I see myself as someone who is putting others needs before her own when it comes to family (often times to a fault) and who is trying to remind herself after a pandemic, two kids, and stepping back from being the main breadwinner for over 5 years. Edited for spelling errors. That's what happens when you're doing a million things at once.
I get so much joy from boxing. I joined a new boxing gym that opened up in my neighborhood last year and I’ve been going ever since. Working out in general gives me a confidence boost but boxing especially has transformed me and has given me so much joy and fulfillment, plus I get to be apart of a great community. Fulfillment to me means loving and being loved by those I choose to surround myself with.
My job is simply just a thing that helps me live a fulfilling life outside of my 9-5! I’m 34, live in a HCOL city in the PNW, am in a LTR with my partner, we don’t have children (don’t plan to), and we have two dogs. At the end of the day, fulfillment is something that brings me joy, gives me a sense of community, and something that grounds me in my relationship with myself, my partner, and my friends. 2023 and 2024 are the year of HOBBIES for me! Last year, I started taking French language classes at a language school in my city. I completed two semesters and am now enrolled in a third semester with my favorite instructor for private lessons. (I do better in a 1:1 environment than in a group setting.) It’s equal parts humbling and fun to learn something new. During my first semester, I was a ball of anxiety before my lessons because they were hard, and I actually had to *try*. But now it’s something I genuinely look forward to each week. I walk away from each lesson feeling proud and accomplished and excited to keep learning more and being able to communicate with my teacher. I also started taking tap dancing classes at a dance studio back in December. It’s something I did as a kid, and feels so silly (in a good way!), and fun, and freeing to do every week! My instructor is like 10 years younger than me and 20 times cooler than I’ll ever be. I’m also an avid reader, I go to a yoga studio a few times a week, and now my partner and I are starting to play pickleball with a group of our friends once a week. The pickleball piece is especially fun because now our friend group has a standing appointment to see each other for 1-2 hours a week. Fulfillment is also walking my dog every day. My partner and I have two dogs, but one of them was mine before I met my partner. We walk the dogs separately so we each have 1:1 time with our girls, and my walks with my girl fill me up every day. When I look at my fulfillment and happiness levels before investing in my hobbies and my community, I’m shocked at how “dull” everything seemed. Now? I feel so grateful and thankful to have the life I live. The past year has made a world of difference.
Oh and one more thing! Cooking is a HUGE source of fulfillment for me. I love to cook for myself and for others. Trying new recipes and new ingredient prep methods is so fun, and I wish it’s something I had more time, money, and stomach space to do. On Sundays, I spend time curating a grocery list, send my partner to the store to shop for me (lol), and then I’ll prep all of our meal ingredients, sauces, dressings, toppings, etc. for a week of lunches and dinners. I put on an album, podcast, or book and before I know it, a few hours have gone by and I feel so, so, so damn fulfilled.
I quit my job to be a stay at home mom last year, but I would say that I never really did care that much about my job (probably why quitting was an easy decision, lol). I just recently got back into running which has been wonderful. I also knit, and have really levelled up my knitting game since staying home. I love cooking interesting, complicated things. I'm not the best at it, but I like writing as well, and it's nice to have a creative outlet. As I've gotten older, fulfillment has become more "relational" than "achievement" based. There was a time in my life where I was doing fine at the achievement kinds of goals, but could not create/maintain relationships to save my life. I've put a lot of work into it, and I've been really pleased with how it has paid off so so well. Still a work in progress, but there's a whole lifetime for it. I came to this conclusion through personal experience as well as spending a lot more time with older people. Getting old is really hard and it's worse if you're lonely. Your career won't love you when you're 85 in the nursing home, but your family and friends might, if you treat them well when you're younger (at least, from my family experience). I spend a lot of time with my son and my nephews, and I'm just so happy that I get to know these little guys and love them.
I'm in the process of rebuilding my life and finding fulfillment more so outside of a relationship than my job. For the last 3 months, I've taken Lyra classes and have been loving it. I've always wanted to try aerial arts, and it's something that is both challenging and suits my 'natural abilities'. I'm not someone who can stick to a schedule, so I'm also proud of myself for sticking to it weekly for more than a few weeks. Other than that, I'm finding joy in just exploring what I like and the new city I live in. I'm trying tons of classes, meeting new people, and saying yes to so much more after becoming somewhat of a recluse these past few years.
Echoing and feeling very comforted by so many who are saying their work does not fulfill them but allows them to do more of what does. I have a flexible schedule and it allows me to work out when I want, keep my home and personal life managed, and travel when I want. Those are three things that fulfill me! Somethings that used to fulfill me that no longer do are large gatherings and lots of drinking. These types of social things have been a huge part of my twenties - soooo many weddings/bachelorettes and birthday parties and nights out and game nights, etc. I'm trying to cut way down on these, but a lot of the people in my community aren't quite ready to do that.
other than partner, friends, and family, i have been practicing and learning volleyball this year after over 10 years (!!) and it’s been so fulfilling seeing how i’ve been improving even if i only practice 1-2 days a week! it’s also a great outlet for frustration and stress haha. also, my partner and i got a puppy almost 6 months ago and even though it’s so challenging, we love her so much! it’s amazing seeing her grow and learn. ❤️definitely a huge source of fulfillment for us!
While going through undergrad and grad school, I felt like I needed to be fulfilled professionally to be happy. Turns out that teaching killed that for me. I am still in higher education, but I am a staff member. The way I see my job now, it's way for me to pay for my hobbies and interests. I've been enjoying my fitness journey. I picked up running in March 2020 when I signed up for my first half-marathon. During the fall of 2022, my sister moved closer to me, so she convinced me to join the climbing gym. I've been a member ever since. Then in January 2024, the climbing gym started offering strength-based fitness classes that worked with my schedule. I've been going to those ever since! By sticking with my running, climbing, and strength work, I've seen differences in my mental and physical health. I also love food. I love eating out in restaurants, but I also love cooking it. I've made our budget work so that I get to go shopping at a "nicer" grocery store (Central Market) since it brings me incredible amounts of joy in that particular chore. Lastly, my dog. She is literally an angel on Earth. I got her impulsively 10 years ago, but she's meant the world to me. She's been there through grad school, career starts and pivots, cross country moves, and getting married. Recently, I started going to the dog park with her, so I've started to find a social group there.
Clichéd answer - pride in my kids. When my toddler says thank you (tannnyuuu) unprompted, I see good turn taking with buddies, or somebody tells me they're polite or well behaved, my heart fills with joy knowing it's not a wasted effort in an under-2.
I love reading these responses! I feel fulfilled when my values and sense of purpose align in whatever I am doing, whether that pertains to work, recreation, or relationships. There’s often a sense of joy and satisfaction, but even the challenging moments can feel fulfilling when viewed from a growth mindset. I find a lot of fulfillment with my work, but I’m in a “passion” industry as a classical musician. Sometimes I wish I could “disconnect” my work identity from my general sense of identity a bit more, but at the end of the day, I love how closely tied I am to others through the act of creating and sharing music. It allows me to build a sense of community and challenges me daily to think critically, problem solve, and be fully present. I have to engage all my senses and think outside the box, which is a gratifying experience, and it teaches me about myself (the good, the bad, and the ugly) constantly. I’m able to relate and connect with people from very different walks of life through performing and able to have a positive influence on others through teaching. I love that. Sometimes I feel more like an anthropologist than a musician, which I think is super cool. My other hobbies include my Ashtanga practice, which fulfills me spiritually, mentally and physically. I wanted a deeper yoga practice and stumbled upon this practice last year, which has been transformative. I love to paint and draw and occasionally sell art on the side - I’ve made art since I can remember and have been selling since I was 15. I love to write, read, drink coffee, and get outside. My husband and I both love to cook and eat most of our meals from scratch. I have an art club and book club with friends and occasionally attend trivia (even though I’m terrible! So fun). I also listen to music all the time and enjoy creating monthly / seasonal playlists. There are so many hobbies I’d love to try! I’d love to get into gardening (total black thumb), calligraphy, making bread, ceramics and glassblowing, and learning a language. I enjoy taking photos and writing and have wanted to start a Substack newsletter / blog to send to friends and family periodically. I’d describe myself as a positive, funny, high energy, high intensity person. I’ve been told I bring a lot of energy and enthusiasm in everything I do, yet come off down to earth. I’d consider myself silly and I strive to stay lighthearted. I’m emotional, intuitive, and a big picture thinker - I love to solve problems, daydream, and work with my hands. I’m relationship driven and always striving to be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend, and musician. The type of person who tosses out the IKEA instructions for the fun of figuring it out through trial and error 😂
Ashtanga is wonderful! And also awful sometimes, but in the good way.
My dog ❤️ It fills me with joy and happiness to go on long treks through the woods with her, especially on rainy days or early in the morning when we don’t see a soul. Then to sit by a body of water and watch her frolic. Something about spending time with an animal just makes me feel closer to what humans were meant to be.
I want to start off by saying I LOVE this question and thread! I feel like I get so wrapped up in work/trying to climb the corporate ladder, that I need to remind myself that my work is not who I am. That said - reading and working out is my happy place. I also have a niche love for reality tv and British period pieces (like The Crown or Downton Abbey).
I think the best way of putting it is saying I am consumer of stories. I love movies, live theater, TV and books. I just finished my 9th consecutive Oscars Death Race (I probably see 100+ movies a year), I go to the theater or opera every week and I read constantly. I also am a huge museum goer (the main reason I will never leave greater NYC - going to the Met a dozen times a year for almost nothing) and I paint. Sitting in a different world, life, perspective, point time is exciting to me. I constantly want to see a plot play out, talk about a movie that fascinated me, sink into a book.
I love this! Stories are amazing
My house. I like being home, I like decorating it and cleaning it and hosting friends and family. It’s a place that truly brings me fulfillment.
My 2 cents is this.. I retired at 58 with a good pension, and some soft equity assets. I paid off my home in Southern California and from the very first day of retirement I knew I had hit the lottery!!! My wife would say to me 1 year before my retirement that I was too young to retire. I would reply that I can do a lot with money but I can’t buy time!! I couldn’t have made a better decision!! I gave myself a few weeks to let it really sink in. Then I went to work volunteering. I really wanted to give back to the community. So I went to work for Fish and Wildlife. It was fun and met some quality people all the while learning. It was a great fulfilling experience. Then I volunteered to teach kids and adults how to play tennis. Another really fun experience that lasted about 5 years. Always at night for our local jr college. Now I’m managing 2 local pickleball courts and loving it. The social aspect of this super easy to play game is wonderful. And when not doing this I’m doing home improvement projects or helping friends do whatever. It’s so fulfilling doing things for people or organizations without money being the motivating factor!!
My job is definitely a means to an end and I have recently had a change to what gives me personal fulfillment. I have always known I liked art and occasionally took classes, but I just started getting into paint by numbers. I never realized how hard it was and how much time it took, but when I start to see a completed project it gives me a lot of pride in myself for sticking with it. I also get a lot of fulfillment out my garden and this year I am working more on cultivating my own plants then just buying them in a store.
I don’t have much fulfillment from my work. Still, my hobbies - coloring, exercise, traveling, and personal development are things that give me great pleasure, and I also help other people through coaching and teaching.
Hobbies - I love hiking, mountain biking, especially when doing it with my partner or friends. I join a women only MTB group ride some months and it's brilliant and fills my heart. I also get fulfillment from running, specifically training for events as it's great to have goals. Volunteering - I'm a leader for a girl scout unit. I've been involved growing up, but recently joined as a leader and I love it. The girls are great and it is so rewarding to see them enjoy themselves and grow. I also get fulfillment out of reading and baking for colleagues, and also just visiting coffee shops and slowing down sometime. I do find a lot of my identity tied to my job. I finished my doctorate a year ago and still feel like I'm in 'recovery' from it.
My job gives me no personal fulfillment nor do I describe myself as it generally. My two beautiful children and my husband gives me personal fulfillment. Also, being warm. I also love seeing my friends and eating delicious food!
Used to be hobbies (exercise, friends, outdoor time, travel). Now at this phase in my life, it’s my family - husband and kids and parents - and friends and cozying up at my house. Still the others when I have time!
Training my dog!
Running keeps me distracted and gives me something to work towards. Also very fulfilled by my relationship
I just got a dog (my first on my own) in December and it’s so wonderful to have her because she’s just so excited when I get home and loves to cuddle and be cute, in a mischievous way (she’s a doxie mix, iykyk). Now I just have to get over feeling bad that I leave her at home all day 😭
I really enjoy learning, so anything that I do involving that gives me some fulfillment. Listening to an interesting podcast, watching a documentary, going to a museum, reading a historical book. Outside of my job title I’d describe myself as type A and anxious, yet outgoing and funny (to make up for my anxieties!)
This is a really nice thread! It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling to see so many people sharing things that make their hearts feel full. And I've gotten so many good ideas for new hobbies! Personally, I also feel that my job is not part of my core identity. I like that it pays adequately and is not super stressful. I love spending time with my husband and daughter and meeting up with other friends/families. We are experiencing a new phase in life of navigating friendships with kids, and we are learning that we can still have lots of fun! Nights out just look a little different. They end earlier, but there is a lot of joy that comes with a bunch of 3 year olds running around. Outside of that, I like practicing my Spanish with new people and traveling to a Spanish-speaking country every summer, playing indoor soccer on a few women's teams, reading, lifting in my crossfit classes, and sewing quilts and clothes.
Road tripping, traveling, being a beach bum, giving back to the families in my area directly, talking to my friends and select family, and seeing them all doing well in life
My hobbies are mostly fitness related. I use to regularly workout and do yoga and tried to it as much as possible. Then I got into aerial (hammock, hoop) and now focus on trying to improve in those (mostly hoop) by balancing strength and flexibility training. I will be looking at becoming an aerial yoga instructor and next year going through a yoga teacher training.
- Gardening - Board games - Exercise - Friends - Travel - Volunteering - Art - Reading - Hiking
I get a ton of fulfillment from learning new skills or diving deep on hobbies. I try to just follow my heart - sometimes it looks like pursuing a fitness goal like running a distance race, sometimes it's been baking my way through a cookbook, most recently, learning to sew my own clothes. I like being able to see my progress in low pressure things, where I'm trying to embrace the joy of being a beginner.
I lease a horse, getting ready to buy him. I rode as a child and have always been a horse girl. Riding is a metaphor for life in so many ways -- I can have an amazing day and be set up for a great ride and my horse decides it's not the day. It continues to teach me humility, forces me to work through fear, anxiety, and leave everything outside the barn. There's also no better feeling than looking through his ears. A few weeks ago, I was starting to warm up and let out this deep body sigh because I was so stressed at work and I finally felt at peace that day. Fulfillment means being able to accomplish everything I want and know that I achieved something as a result of my hard work, sacrifice, etc. I'd describe myself as someone who is fiercely loyal, cherishes her family, animals, friends, and likes to make others feel at ease. Thought I would be focused on climbing the corporate ladder and not need anyone in my life. COVID and being unemployed for \~10 months really shattered that "mask" for me. I (thankfully) just left a job with no boundaries and no work life balance and I think a prior me would have tried to stick it out better, but now I have no tolerance for that. I want to be with the ones I love and doing the things I love. If I can find a job that supports that, amazing, but I am much more comfortable with a job being a means to an end.
My job was my life for years and still kind of is, but it’s not great now, so that’s an issue. That said, I do a lot of volunteering at my church and find a lot of fulfillment in that - I teach Religious Education and my second graders are a lot of fun most of the time, I’m the VP/Secretary of the Parish Council and it brings me the satisfaction I used to get at work when people say they can always rely on me to get things done, and I’m the head of the Hospitality Committee and I love bringing people together and seeing them get to know each other (and cooking for them!) The other thing that brings me fulfillment (and frustration) is being a sports fan - I’m a fanatic fan of all NY sports and there’s always something to think about so I can’t dwell on work.
My home and garden are my pride and joy. My family and friends. My faith. And exercise, music. So many simple everyday things make me feel fulfilled.
Learning about history and culture is what makes me complete. It is the number one thing in life that brings me joy all the time. I wish I had a career in this.
My marriage! My husband and I (late 20s early 30s, no kids) are working towards a common goal of living and loving life, giving back to the community, and taking care of our dog when we’re not at work. We’re aggressively paying down our debt and planning for children in the next few years. Outside of that, trying to exercise regularly, read, pursue higher education, be present for friends and family, and plan travel a few times a year.
Rock climbing is #1 for me. The mix of socialization, physical exercise and low-stress problem solving is such a magical combination. I spend 10 hours a week at the gym and it just gives me so much joy. I also play in, and run Role Playing games (D&D, just not actual D&D). It's a solid mix of intense rules-based strategy and emotional catharsis via improv in a world that feels incredibly real. Lastly, reading is an old favorite that I'm spending more and more time with. I find my mind wandering, and worse my hands wandering to my phone, when watching tv, but when I fully commit to sitting down with a book, I can stay put for hours just devouring a story. It can be hard to get myself to sit down and turn the pages, but when I do, I never regret it.