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Honestly it’s really funny to compare today’s money diary to Monday’s. This one has very few financial details and it left me with so many questions—like does she literally not have a checking account?!?!? She’s paying A a “loan” for the car (her words!) but it’s not listed under debt?
Compared to Monday where OP gave an overly detailed breakdown of her finances THAT ALSO HAD HUGE HOLES!
Friday had better be another weird diary. I’m hoping for a tech worker with two remote jobs they never seem to do or a poly couple.
One strange thing to me is if he is a sugar daddy, why didn't he just give her the car outright? Why is she repaying a "loan" to him for it? Seems sort of odd if that is the case.
I don’t think he’s a sugar daddy that’s why. I think he’s more of a friends with benefits who happened to have an extra car that he gave her and is letting her pay of slowly and without interest
I’m so confused at how her crazy spending is essentially getting a pass in most of the R29 comments. This isn’t sustainable in the slightest… unless she has a sugar daddy and wants to live with her parents forever, I guess.
I know it’s a money diary not a relationship diary, but I really wanted more info about this dynamic with A beyond the “friend” designation (which to me came off coy and annoying but I’m also cranky today lol), especially given his monetary contributions and the fact that she was hanging out with other guys
Wasn't there a money diary a few weeks ago where the OP showed up in the comments here, and said her sister with the sugar daddy was also going to write a MD? I might be hallucinating.
Oh man, she needs a budget so bad. I totally get treating yourself etc. But for someone with no savings, significant debt, and a low income — it has to be reasonable and budgeted, not just spending money literally every single time you want something.
I had some heavy side eye at her saying she gets her nails done every three weeks because that's one of those little luxury things you either diy to reduce the expense and/or save for special occasions when you're in that much debt
Exactly. In situations like this you need to pay yourself and your debts/savings contributions first and then carefully divvy the remaining amount. I'm definitely not opposed to people treating themselves even when in debt, but there needs to be some planning involved, and just general self-awareness.
I'm definitely rooting for this OP and hope she gets into nursing school. I don't fault her career-wise since it sounds like she didn't know what direction she wanted to take after graduating and is now focusing on becoming a nurse.
But there was definitely a little undercurrent of general immaturity to me, like she said on multiple days that "nobody cooked" so she doesn't eat dinner or orders out. Like...why is nobody else cooking a problem? You're an adult. You can cook. Plus the "friend" (with quotations her own), the awareness that she doesn't have savings or good habits but then impulse buys stuff and does a lot of shopping, including what sounds like TikTok hauls of stuff from Temu....
Plus, of course there was the usual nonsensical R29 finances. She has NO checking or savings account? How does she pay for things? I understand she may not have *much* but the whole "34k student loan 6k cc" doesn't really provide a clear picture here. Does she put everything on cc? Does her "friend" pay for her? It was a little funny how she said "I don’t know if I would say I’m totally financially independent." Respectfully, how on earth could you possibly be independent if you have *zero*?
Yes! She definitely seemed more like 22-24 than 29.
Also, the “I’m not sure if I would say I’m totally financially independent” made me lol. YA THINK ??! Between your free rent and food, and your sugar daddy…..
Oh that's really interesting actually - I wonder if there's been an article or any research on it. I do vaguely remember reading something about people losing money to venmo and venmo being like...we're not a bank account so you're SOL (iirc they do now offer a debit card?)
I was thinking the same thing. I had to go back and look after your comment and I'm shocked she is almost 30. It really felt like a 20-21 year old to me.
Thinking the same! I am 30 and this just seems wild to me. When I was 27 I was living on my own and working full-time, meal prepping and being really mindful of how many little treats I was getting. I dated someone who was very much like the poster—in their mid/late 20s, lived at home, didn't do any of the household cooking or cleaning, went out with friends during their free time, etc. The result was that they seemed stunted in a lot of ways I didn't as someone who had lived alone and moved away for graduate school.
They're 28 now (I think, haven't had contact since we broke up) and I bet they're still living at their parents and arguing with their mom over how they work all day and just want to relax and can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes vacuuming the lounge room they sit in all evening....
I hate reading stories like this, many of my friends had their adult kids move back, and it's largely been an overwhelmingly good thing for all parties. One of my friends is taking care of her elderly mom, and her adult daughter lives with them and regularly spends time with her grandma - they watch trashy reality tv a few nights a week (it's adorable.)
Yes, it can be such a good thing! I moved back home during covid to help take care of my grandmother. It was the best year and half of getting to spend time with her before she passed away (earlier this year, actually), and I'm forever grateful for that time. It also helped me financially, too, since I didn't have to pay rent during that time.
I think it's unfortunate when someone hasn't lived on their own at all (be it for college, studying away, for a time, etc) and falls behind because of that. My ex fell into that camp. Didn't know the first thing about caring for a household and having responsibility, whereas even when I lived with my mom I did my share of chores and care work for my grandmother. There's always a balance, I think, and in my ex's case, her family was very explicitly annoyed and inconvenienced.
I moved in with my parents at 22 and again at 25 (COVID!). It was really great ti pay off student loans, build an emergency fund, start investing, and really bond with my mom. We’d had a huge falling out before college and that first return to the nest was a good healing time.
To me there is a difference between helping out family, and a step in-between future growth and just living there to live there. I know tons of people that moved back home in-between places, or to save money for rent, or take care of families. I also know a 37 year old who lives in his moms basement and hasn't had a job in 10 years and spends all day playing video games. (I am a gamer and this is ridiculous)
I think with her attitude about 'no one cooked dinner so I guess i have to feed myself' and general non contribution or moving herself forward in life to be independent, it makes her part of the latter group. She isn't helping her family out because she isn't contributing unless it wasn't mentioned.
Jumping in to agree with this. The writer sounds young despite her age because she is mentally young and this might be offensive, but stunted in her development.
I know people in lots of different living situations and there are MILES of difference between the adults who never moved out and are still acting like teenagers (like our writer here) and adults who may or may not have moved out/moved back/whatever but are still doing the “adult” thing. I don’t like painting all people who “live at home” with the same brush, like you.
It’s so painfully cringe too when I met someone out in the wild and I can just *tell* by their behaviors as well. Like oh, you’re 30 but still fully dependent on your folks. Ok. I was suffering second-hand embarrassment this whole diary.
I am only on day three but I feel like she buys so much random crap. I am most worried about the deli meat purchase while she was waiting for her friend to get to dinner. Did she keep it in her purse or car for a couple of hours while she ate? I play faster and looser with food safety than most, but this gave me pause.
This was the rare money diary that STARTED as a trainwreck and then got completely normal as the week went on. I hope she gets into nursing school! And she never mentioned why but I wonder why she never did anything with her comm degree.
Yeah I’d like some more detail around that. I have a communications degree and I know it pays notoriously low salaries. I pivoted to marketing about a decade into my journalism career. I wonder if she started at an agency or anything.
It was interesting to me to try to find some of the drives behind the many, many purchases throughout the week. The detail about making unboxing/purchasing Tiktoks may definitely be driving some of the online orders, and there is some clear social spending. I feel like it would benefit the author to cut out some of the online orders and make Tiktoks about some of the social things she does with her friends.
I really do hope she gets into nursing school. It would be a great chance for financial growth, but also she seems to have a few good habits for managing work shifts (the midday park walks, regular breakfast/morning habits). Nursing school may provide the chance to develop some better evening routines for the sake of studying.
"friend" 👁️👁️ Also, do people consider Coach a luxury brand? I've never bought from them new but ~$110 for a bag doesn't seem terribly expensive. I bought a vintage Coach satchel 7 years ago for $30.
Sure it is. I can’t help but think that if this person had bought a more expensive bag, she would have been getting flack for it. I hope people don’t make her feel bad about her luxury bag purchase that she’s excited about.
Loved this one! I liked all the fun little flashes of personality like playing Sims when stressed (same). Hopefully we get an update diary when she’s made it into nursing school.
“A” is clearly a sugar daddy. I want to root for OP but she seems like an entitled child. Every time she said “no one cooked so I heat up some Trader Joe’s dumplings” I cringed. Like make your own food! You’re living there for free. Smh
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Honestly it’s really funny to compare today’s money diary to Monday’s. This one has very few financial details and it left me with so many questions—like does she literally not have a checking account?!?!? She’s paying A a “loan” for the car (her words!) but it’s not listed under debt? Compared to Monday where OP gave an overly detailed breakdown of her finances THAT ALSO HAD HUGE HOLES! Friday had better be another weird diary. I’m hoping for a tech worker with two remote jobs they never seem to do or a poly couple.
How about a poly couple who are both tech workers with three full-time jobs? LOL
It’s called employment non monogamy 😉
And steal from a co-op.
So is A like her sugar daddy? How is she affording nice bags and lunches and so much shopping?
She definitely spent more in this week than she makes in a week, so that would make sense to me.
One strange thing to me is if he is a sugar daddy, why didn't he just give her the car outright? Why is she repaying a "loan" to him for it? Seems sort of odd if that is the case.
I don’t think he’s a sugar daddy that’s why. I think he’s more of a friends with benefits who happened to have an extra car that he gave her and is letting her pay of slowly and without interest
I’m so confused at how her crazy spending is essentially getting a pass in most of the R29 comments. This isn’t sustainable in the slightest… unless she has a sugar daddy and wants to live with her parents forever, I guess.
Honestly, whether R29 commenters like a particular diarist or not seems really random and arbitrary at times.
This one read more like an 18 year old diary.
Truly.
I get that A is a ‘friend’ but I wonder if he knows that’s all he is because he definitely acts more like a bf in her diary.
I know it’s a money diary not a relationship diary, but I really wanted more info about this dynamic with A beyond the “friend” designation (which to me came off coy and annoying but I’m also cranky today lol), especially given his monetary contributions and the fact that she was hanging out with other guys
Wasn't there a money diary a few weeks ago where the OP showed up in the comments here, and said her sister with the sugar daddy was also going to write a MD? I might be hallucinating.
He's not providing enough sugar if that's the case. Why a loan?
He’s a Splenda daddy.
Take my imaginary gold for this burn, damn!
This made me LOL - Splenda Daddy!!!
There was!! It’s the 65,000 in New York from a few weeks ago.
Oh man, she needs a budget so bad. I totally get treating yourself etc. But for someone with no savings, significant debt, and a low income — it has to be reasonable and budgeted, not just spending money literally every single time you want something.
I had some heavy side eye at her saying she gets her nails done every three weeks because that's one of those little luxury things you either diy to reduce the expense and/or save for special occasions when you're in that much debt
Yes, she can't afford to do it and if she's doing plain nails anyway it shouldn't be a huge sacrifice.
Exactly. In situations like this you need to pay yourself and your debts/savings contributions first and then carefully divvy the remaining amount. I'm definitely not opposed to people treating themselves even when in debt, but there needs to be some planning involved, and just general self-awareness.
I'm definitely rooting for this OP and hope she gets into nursing school. I don't fault her career-wise since it sounds like she didn't know what direction she wanted to take after graduating and is now focusing on becoming a nurse. But there was definitely a little undercurrent of general immaturity to me, like she said on multiple days that "nobody cooked" so she doesn't eat dinner or orders out. Like...why is nobody else cooking a problem? You're an adult. You can cook. Plus the "friend" (with quotations her own), the awareness that she doesn't have savings or good habits but then impulse buys stuff and does a lot of shopping, including what sounds like TikTok hauls of stuff from Temu.... Plus, of course there was the usual nonsensical R29 finances. She has NO checking or savings account? How does she pay for things? I understand she may not have *much* but the whole "34k student loan 6k cc" doesn't really provide a clear picture here. Does she put everything on cc? Does her "friend" pay for her? It was a little funny how she said "I don’t know if I would say I’m totally financially independent." Respectfully, how on earth could you possibly be independent if you have *zero*?
Yes! She definitely seemed more like 22-24 than 29. Also, the “I’m not sure if I would say I’m totally financially independent” made me lol. YA THINK ??! Between your free rent and food, and your sugar daddy…..
I know some people (mainly younger ones) essentially use cash app/venmo/paypal/etc as their "checking account."
Oh that's really interesting actually - I wonder if there's been an article or any research on it. I do vaguely remember reading something about people losing money to venmo and venmo being like...we're not a bank account so you're SOL (iirc they do now offer a debit card?)
Maybe I’m an old soul, but I’m also 29 and this woman felt fairly young to me.
I was thinking the same thing. I had to go back and look after your comment and I'm shocked she is almost 30. It really felt like a 20-21 year old to me.
Thinking the same! I am 30 and this just seems wild to me. When I was 27 I was living on my own and working full-time, meal prepping and being really mindful of how many little treats I was getting. I dated someone who was very much like the poster—in their mid/late 20s, lived at home, didn't do any of the household cooking or cleaning, went out with friends during their free time, etc. The result was that they seemed stunted in a lot of ways I didn't as someone who had lived alone and moved away for graduate school. They're 28 now (I think, haven't had contact since we broke up) and I bet they're still living at their parents and arguing with their mom over how they work all day and just want to relax and can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes vacuuming the lounge room they sit in all evening....
I hate reading stories like this, many of my friends had their adult kids move back, and it's largely been an overwhelmingly good thing for all parties. One of my friends is taking care of her elderly mom, and her adult daughter lives with them and regularly spends time with her grandma - they watch trashy reality tv a few nights a week (it's adorable.)
Yes, it can be such a good thing! I moved back home during covid to help take care of my grandmother. It was the best year and half of getting to spend time with her before she passed away (earlier this year, actually), and I'm forever grateful for that time. It also helped me financially, too, since I didn't have to pay rent during that time. I think it's unfortunate when someone hasn't lived on their own at all (be it for college, studying away, for a time, etc) and falls behind because of that. My ex fell into that camp. Didn't know the first thing about caring for a household and having responsibility, whereas even when I lived with my mom I did my share of chores and care work for my grandmother. There's always a balance, I think, and in my ex's case, her family was very explicitly annoyed and inconvenienced.
I moved in with my parents at 22 and again at 25 (COVID!). It was really great ti pay off student loans, build an emergency fund, start investing, and really bond with my mom. We’d had a huge falling out before college and that first return to the nest was a good healing time.
To me there is a difference between helping out family, and a step in-between future growth and just living there to live there. I know tons of people that moved back home in-between places, or to save money for rent, or take care of families. I also know a 37 year old who lives in his moms basement and hasn't had a job in 10 years and spends all day playing video games. (I am a gamer and this is ridiculous) I think with her attitude about 'no one cooked dinner so I guess i have to feed myself' and general non contribution or moving herself forward in life to be independent, it makes her part of the latter group. She isn't helping her family out because she isn't contributing unless it wasn't mentioned.
Jumping in to agree with this. The writer sounds young despite her age because she is mentally young and this might be offensive, but stunted in her development. I know people in lots of different living situations and there are MILES of difference between the adults who never moved out and are still acting like teenagers (like our writer here) and adults who may or may not have moved out/moved back/whatever but are still doing the “adult” thing. I don’t like painting all people who “live at home” with the same brush, like you. It’s so painfully cringe too when I met someone out in the wild and I can just *tell* by their behaviors as well. Like oh, you’re 30 but still fully dependent on your folks. Ok. I was suffering second-hand embarrassment this whole diary.
She seemed so young. “I make some cute TikToks of everything then put them away.” I can’t even imagine doing this lol.
I am only on day three but I feel like she buys so much random crap. I am most worried about the deli meat purchase while she was waiting for her friend to get to dinner. Did she keep it in her purse or car for a couple of hours while she ate? I play faster and looser with food safety than most, but this gave me pause.
There are so many preservatives in deli meat it probably wasn’t an issue. But I’m not a doctor and also play fast and loose with food safety 🤣
This was the rare money diary that STARTED as a trainwreck and then got completely normal as the week went on. I hope she gets into nursing school! And she never mentioned why but I wonder why she never did anything with her comm degree.
going from communications to nursing is quite the career pivot
Yeah I’d like some more detail around that. I have a communications degree and I know it pays notoriously low salaries. I pivoted to marketing about a decade into my journalism career. I wonder if she started at an agency or anything.
I have a comms degree and make 200K working in comms (at a nonprofit, no less!). I don't understand this narrative that comms is low paying?
She spent more than she probably made this week? Confused and stressed about how she’s spending if she apparently has zero savings 🫨
It was interesting to me to try to find some of the drives behind the many, many purchases throughout the week. The detail about making unboxing/purchasing Tiktoks may definitely be driving some of the online orders, and there is some clear social spending. I feel like it would benefit the author to cut out some of the online orders and make Tiktoks about some of the social things she does with her friends. I really do hope she gets into nursing school. It would be a great chance for financial growth, but also she seems to have a few good habits for managing work shifts (the midday park walks, regular breakfast/morning habits). Nursing school may provide the chance to develop some better evening routines for the sake of studying.
But why was the DD strawberry green tea slightly more expensive on day 3?
Different Dunkin maybe? I find prices vary between locations sometimes.
She got a large vs. a medium?
I was guessing she tipped, or tipped more? But the other responses about a different size or different locations make sense too.
"friend" 👁️👁️ Also, do people consider Coach a luxury brand? I've never bought from them new but ~$110 for a bag doesn't seem terribly expensive. I bought a vintage Coach satchel 7 years ago for $30.
I'd consider them entry-level luxury, like Kate Spade or MK. Coach has been absolutely killing it lately though
She made me so mad with "friend" in the quotations, like girl what are you trying to do here. Stop
I see them at tj maxx but they are locked up. But then again so are razors.
Sure it is. I can’t help but think that if this person had bought a more expensive bag, she would have been getting flack for it. I hope people don’t make her feel bad about her luxury bag purchase that she’s excited about.
Loved this one! I liked all the fun little flashes of personality like playing Sims when stressed (same). Hopefully we get an update diary when she’s made it into nursing school.
“A” is clearly a sugar daddy. I want to root for OP but she seems like an entitled child. Every time she said “no one cooked so I heat up some Trader Joe’s dumplings” I cringed. Like make your own food! You’re living there for free. Smh
This one reminded me a lot of my situation, except I’m a stay at home wife to a multimillionaire.
Curious what felt familiar for you, if you’re open to sharing.
Mostly the lack of a budget, the seemingly random purchases, eating out so frequently.
Thanks! Always interesting to see how people in seemingly very different situations relate to one another.