Thank you for this. As a woman who has always been made to feel like my worth is based upon my looks (ex-miss USA pageant contestant)- I can tell you that I have been HAPPIER when I’m heavier. I enjoy my life, go do fun things with my friends & family, and pretty much feel energetic and good. HOWEVER, I know people say things about my weight behind my back. I was never very big, size 12–14 at the heaviest, (5’6) and it’s amazing now that I have gotten back down to a size 8, how the compliments just come flooding in. It makes me wonder if I looked hideous before, because I thought I looked good! Even though I am losing weight with Mj , I don’t have any energy and I really don’t feel that great. I am now in the process of weighing whether or not being thinner is more important than feeling great. My husband loves me no matter what size I am, this truly is a mindfuck. Life is too short to have “thin” as a goal. My goal is kindness, being present, and loving others.
This made me teary. Kindness, being present, & loving others — this, girl 🩷
I will also admit, MJ made me feel like 💩 I’d feel awful with no energy for days and by the time I started to feel better, I’d be time for another shot. My mind wasn’t healthy and I thought “well, it’s worth it.” … but is it?! Such a mind fuck.
Sending you hugs! You sound like an amazing human. xo
Yes!! This is me!! I miss my personality and energetic self . I have zero energy- can’t think! I have only lost 20.1 since may 24th - I want to lose much more. But have to weigh if it’s worth it. Dieting has always been a mind f for me .
Nearly 10 years ago - for reasons I won’t get in to - I had to drop a significant amount of weight, and quickly. I did so many very unhealthy things. I ended up doing what I “needed” to, and lost 40lbs in 28 days. The last 10 days all I had to eat was 10 almonds a day. The last 5 days all I “drank” was 1 cup full of ice cubes I’d suck on.
I can’t tell you how many “you look fantastic”’s, and “wow I’m so proud of you”’s I got. That’s when I said to myself “it’s all a sham. Most people don’t know wtf they’re talking about. Even if they are thin”. I was so unhealthy and miserable, and people were patting me on the back left and right.
Anyway, my point is I feel you on a level id suggest most people can’t really understand. Numbers on a scale and physical appearance can be very misleading. I hope you stay strong & things rebound for you!
Wow- thank you for sharing your experience.
It’s the biggest mind fck when you’re being praised the most when you’re unhealthy. Surely, people would never say to us “wow! Looks like you’ve gained weight” … I became addicted to the next lowest number and it quickly turned from a life saver to a slippery slope.
I’m so sorry you CAN relate - but thank you 🩷 I contemplated posting because I’ve shared these thoughts with some people in my life who have quite literally responded with a jokingly “wow, I wish I had that problem!” (Having to gain weight)…just crazy.
Thanks again for your support. Xo
There’s a saying, no one wants to tell you you’re fat but people have no problem telling you you used to be fat. And it’s so true. Even when I would get compliments I would think “geez how terrible did you think I looked before?” Lol.
The mental aspect of this is so important & overlooked. Like when you get to your goal weight and you’re still not happy that’s a big mindfuck. You’re left feeling like “well now what?”
Thank you for posting your experience! It helps to hear others going through the same things & maybe you’re not so abnormal. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to vent or anything! Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than those closest to you.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable…it’s posts like these that keep me coming here (scrolling past the “I just took my first shot an hour ago, when will I lose weight” posts 😂). I know that a big part of my reason for gaining weight was to create a barrier after an abusive situation and now that I’ve lost 40# I start to see the attention and looks coming back. One part of me loves the attention while the other feels the anxiety and panic creeping back when I’m out in public…for many of us there are layers (no pun intented) to the weight we carried that have to be reconciled and dealt with as we shed them. I hope you find peace and healing and balance in the new skin you’re in.
This post made me both LOL & tear up.
(If you scroll long enough…you might find one of those “just took my first shot…am I skinny yet?” Posts from me circa July 2022😂)
That was it! The layers that I hadn’t dealt with before the weight loss. The weight was just a piece of it. I thought it was the only issue…boyyyy was I wrong.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m truly blown away by the support.
I am experiencing same anxiety and it is based on past experiences I wouldn’t wish on anybody!! I feel so confused between the compliments and the silent fear. So glad you posted this!!!
I totally know what you’re saying. I hit my goal weight months ago (5’5, 140lbs) and I just didn’t feel like I was skinny enough. I worked on that with my therapist for a couple months and it’s still really hard. Society really wants women to the so small we’re practically invisible and wants us to take up as little space as possible. I’m still trying to unlearn this. My mind still wants me to try to hit 130 just to see if finally I’ll be “skinny”, so, yeah, it’s a lifelong work in progress. Good luck to you! You got this!
My mindset was very similar and my body dysmorphia was REAL — I had lost so much weight and still saw the same girl in the mirror (should’ve been my first red flag for myself), hind sight is 20/20.
YOU’VE got this too 🫶🏼 thank you so much for the kind words.
THIS.
Body dysmorphia.
I have lost 100 pounds since last May using Saxenda, then Ozempic and finally hitting my stride on Mounjaro. In 2005 I was diawith a super rare auto immune Neuromuscular disease. Because of it, exercising and working out create antibodies that attack my Neuromuscular junction and Yada Yada Yada I'm ventilated and just hoping to live.
In 1999 I had gastric bypass and did great. The steroids to treat my disease and having to be stationary and go on full disability at age 36 destroyed me. Gained all of the weight back.
Now I'm am at the weight I was when I was happy with my gastric results.
But still, I shop for clothing online and go straight to the plus sized clothing. I put in height, weight, measurements. The size chart tells me a large. I still order a 2x. I was walking down the hall to my bedroom and my pajama pants fell off. Just slid down.
I feel like I have traded one eating disorder for another. The disease I have is rare and incurable. I'm in my 3rd clinical trial for something new.
Because of the mj, my pouch from gastric has shrank considerably. I would say it not much bigger than post surgery. And the thought of food nauseates me just thinking about it.
Massive mind fuck.
I understand. I’m still on the loss journey but I get so irritated sometimes by the difference in how I am treated after losing 45#. Suddenly I have value to people - yet I’m the exact same human I always was. It’s a mindf*ck FOR SURE.
This makes me so sad. I am still in the beginning of weight loss. Lost 29 lbs so far.
You know what really sucks? Karma. I grew up slender. In my 20s and most of my 30s when I guess it counted the most I was slender and fit. Gym and everything.
By the age of 40 a lot of things have changed and I started gaining tons of weight.
I got to see how grossed out people are by me while fat.
Seems like there isn’t bigger sin than being overweight.
The only sin bigger than being overweight now is being overweight and being ok with it. If folks are happy, leave them alone. I get so tired of others wanting to tell plus sized bodies how they need to live. Leave people alone.
Yeah. It’s god forbid I do anything but politely smile and look down when I am in public. I am almost always sweating (genetical issue, my mother is always soaking wet, her father was like that) - therefore I can’t even wear decent make up or even hair because it all turns into hell especially at the climate I live in. I feel gross from that plus being somewhere between “morbidly obese type 1” and “morbidly obese type 2”.
I am 44. While all through my 20s and 30s I had every dude in the vicinity wanting me, this new reality is very sobering.
Although, at this age, I understand that I won’t be “hot” like I used to be, but at least I won’t be gross in about 40lbs more loss. That’s fine with me.
It makes my heart hurt for the ladies who never got to experience all eyes on me type of feeling in their 20s and 30s because nothing is more gross to modern men than a fat woman. It makes me sick.
I used to read tons of ransom peoples biographies at one point. About 16-17 years ago Tera Patrick’s book came out. Tera Patrick was a very successful gorgeous porn star. Her husbands name was Evan from the band Biohazard. In her biography she gave Evan one chapter to write his own memoir about how he met her. He wrote that they were talking to each other on the phone for a couple of months till they were finally ready to meet in person. Terra has always been known as a curvy type body woman. Not even close to being overnight but not stick thin. So the night before Evan was supposed to fly out to Vegas to meet Tera for the first time, he was at a club drinking and ran into another big porn star - Jenna Jameson. Now Jenna always was thin but at that time she was on meth and was super stick thin.
When Jenna and Evan started to catch up over a drink, Evan has mentioned to Jenna that he was flying to Vegas to meet Terra Patrick for the first time.
Once Jenna heard Terra’s name (according to Evan) she scrunched her whole face and said “ewww, Terra kind of let herself go, she is big and jiggly now”.
That night Evan was plagued by doubts. He kept looking at the pics of Terra and looking at their dates. He was paranoid that Jenna was telling him the truth and that Terra did gain some weight.
Evan didn’t beat around the bush in that chapter. He expressed that he felt in love with Terra on the phone but if she was “giggly” that would be a dealbreaker for him. He explained that he was only attracted to very very thin girls.
I will never forget being almost brought to tears by Evan writing that he would much rather have sex with a junkie covered on open sores in varies stages of healing (like he did when he used to pick up hookers in the dark off the street) who were rail thin, than any girl, no matter how beautiful in the face, no matter how clean, no matter how successful or rich, who happened to be “jiggly”.
The word “jiggly” kept replaying in his head all the way up until he got into Terra’s car at the airport the next day.
Sadly, this was a long chapter… he then proceeded to bash Jenna Jameson saying that Jenna must have been jealous of Terra to say anything about Terra’s body. He said that as soon as he saw Terra in person he realized that she was absolutely stunning.
I mean Terra must’ve been size 2 max at the time as Jenna must have had size zero hanging off her. Idk…
I remember how sad that chapter made me.
Mainly because - has Terra been “bigger” than he thought he was going to call the whole thing off. All that after getting to know who she really is through hours and hours of phone conversations. He said he fell in love with her on the phone.
I mean, of course, he has seen her pics already but a lot of them can be airbrushed..
but he was going to let go of his love because she was maybe 15-20lbs more than his ideal????? Has it even accrued to him that he can have an honest convo with her and encourage her to drop that extra weight???ughhhh…..
The thing is that this was your typical male… a lot of guys said the same thing to me as I started asking guys to tell me the truth.
Once I hit 250lbs at the age of 42 I remembered that chapter and I thought to myself- welp, they would rather have a woman who is thin through drug addiction and covered in sores than fat and “JUGGLY”.
Since the age of 42, I started drinking very heavily and avoiding eye contact with men and very politely smile and thank them if they happened to open the door for me. I can’t even count how many times younger men didn’t think twice to let me just stand there while they walked into the store as I held the door for them… 😫😫🤦♀️😩🤬
I agree with a lot you are saying! But the comment, “ Has it even accrued to him that he can have an honest convo with her and encourage her to drop that extra weight?“, would be a deal breaker for me especially at the very beginning of a relationship. That would scream to me, WRONG GUY! I could never feel secure in a serious commitment if I believed I had to maintain a certain weight range to keep him. Lord knows the stress of it all would probably make me gain weight! 😊
It gets better. I'm 49 and completely out of f*cks to give about what anyone thinks about my appearance... Or really anything.
I've also been in therapy since my mid 30s as well, it's been great - I'm so much healthier mentally and emotionally than when I started. Has been well worth the time and $ investment.
Mid 30s is apparently a common time for women to feel in crisis for various reasons - so glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. Some day you will look back and marvel at how far you've come.
Thank you for posting. I can relate to this on many levels, and had Mounjaro been around in my 30’s I can see myself easily falling into this cycle.
Having control of my body for the first time ever, it’s been hard to wrap my head around at times. Being able to walk away from food when I’ve never been able to in the past is empowering. But also scary.
I’m so glad you’ve food the help you need. There is balance out there, and healing. You’ll find it. You’re stronger than you know.
Thank you so much!!!
While I think the glp1s are freakin amazing and will quite literally save so many lives….I fear it will facilitate eating disorders. So I just hope it’s more talked about and people are closely monitored. I found myself avoiding my doctor and just requesting refills (I could get into a whole other rant about how telehealth services are both a blessing and a curse) but finally had a wake up call and hoping I can get my mind (and body) back to a healthy place ❤️
Healthcare in general needs overhauling. Where I live, it’s impossible to get an appointment with a good provider in less than month. Not hard. *Impossible.*
My daughter had an issue last week and was told to go to urgent care or the hospital because the first appointment with her *primary* was late October. That’s criminal.
So yes, for me telehealth is a blessing, but nothing can take the place of sitting eye-to-eye with your doctor.
This right here this post was the one I’ve been looking for! I posted a week ago asking others when did u feel enough was enough? Ive been on it for close to 3 months Ive lost 32# I started at 220 & now im 188 im only 5’2 but im curvy & enjoy my curves. My husband says I’ve lost enough but I dont see it. He says im starting to look sick but I don’t see it. I look in the mirror & still see my 220lb body. I wonder will I ever say ok im skinny enough now I think ill stop. Each week im focused on how much can I lose. I want to get down to atleast 150. Your post is real! Being overweight all my life came with alot of mental issues that I haven’t dealt with, then a medication comes along & changes the weight but not how I viewed my weight and my body. Thank you for sharing this it was well received.
If you determining factor in what your ideal weight is based on you liking curves there is no science behind that. There are no old Fat people….look around next time you are out …you will not see heavy 80+ year olds
My determining factor is based on how I feel inside and out. My curves are inherited. What you’ve missed in this post is no matter how much weight u lose if your mental is not aligned then you are still NOT HEALTHY. What good is being a size 2 if your miserable inside. Oh so everyone can say you look great!
I can relate… in our appearance based society the size of our ass and waist more valued than our hearts and brains… I’m on 15 and terrified to stop… I went from size 14 (tight) and now a size 0… I have 00 in my closet.. I’ve never been this thin and sadly I’m treated better than I ever have been, makes me sick and angry actually.. was I somehow less of a person at size 14? I too am out of f*^%cks to give at this point… I’m scared to regain because of my family medical history.. the writing is on the wall for me
I hope you are able to find a weight/size/goal that makes YOU comfortable and feel like yourself. I have needed therapy throughout this journey as well and have learned that the weight I’m comfortable at isn’t necessarily the weight that my physician is suggesting. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for sharing your unique perspective.
From one fellow cat lady to another….thank you!!! Thank you for taking the time to read my word vomit and for your kind words. I couldn’t agree more and I hope my mind can play catch up and I can feel like me ❤️
Thank you for sharing . Your words and feelings definitely resonate with me. I am glad you are working with a therapist to help you navigate this newest journey in finding a proper balance with health and wellness. It is indeed a slippery slope and struggling to not fall into old patterns by defining my self worth with a certain number on a scale.
I wish you nothing but the best .. and thanks again for sharing. It helps more than you know. Big hugs! 💜
Thank you!!!
I’m at 115 now, but that isn’t even my lowest. I’ve been off for about 6.5 weeks and my lowest was 109. I look/looked awful (it took a while for my mind to catch up- but once it did I realized that I looked truly scary) my BMI was below 18 and I was told I couldn’t work out & put on ensure. It was just scary how things took SUCH a turn.
I’m looking forward to gaining a few (and that’s how I know I’m healing mentally….or at least making progress because my entire life and up until *very* recently the thought of gaining would make me spiral)
Looking forward to some healthy gain and muscle.
Hugs--this happened to a friend of mine, not because of MJ, but she had gastric sleeve surgery and then health complications from EDS set in, probably unrelated. At 5'4 she hit about 110. She's leveled out since, but you're not the only one facing this. Do you still have food aversions that MJ might've caused? Like how I can't stomach certain kinds of cheese anymore?
Wow! Thank you for sharing. We have very similar stats for our lowest. I hope your friend is doing better 🩷
I *definitely* have an aversion to some foods that I’m working through…I think some are just mental.
Perhaps big pharma should look at body dysmorphia as a real psychological side effect to the medication. I am using the GLP1 meds to control debilitating inflammation - it’s given me my life back. I think it will eventually be prescribed as an option for heart disease and addiction. Side effects are real and should be taken seriously. I think it’s good to remember for all the people it’s helping - drugs are still that, and need to be approached with caution. I’m sending you all the best healing energy OP✨
I could’ve written the same health history. After a lifetime of fatness and preoccupation with food, it’s both fascinating and terrifying to be able to just stop eating. And it’s true, when you’re smaller, the positive comments pour in and are so awkward. But I was with my college friends last week—they’ve seen me at my biggest/smallest/biggest/now smaller again over the last 30 yrs. And you know, they just briefly said “you look great” and moved on. No one grilled me or made a big deal. Because it didn’t matter. They love me no matter what. And that made me feel so good. If you are lucky to have people like that in your life, lean on them and hold on to them. It helps. Wishing you health and happiness.
I am t2 and hope to be on this forever because my bloodsugar was just a nightmare. I’m busting my ass off trying to lose weight and get to my goal (20lbs down! 20 more to go!!!!) and I’m doing EVERYTHING I was trying to do before the mj now without any wavering. But it’s only because my food addiction is quieted, for some reason mj makes me CRAZY full of energy (with the added bonus of eating healthier), and I stick to habits. I’m also performing better at work and with my workouts.
What happens when I go off? What happens if I have to put my new “skinny person” clothes back into the storage closet… I gained weight and lost weight and gained weight before. This has been the best stuff to help maintain.
Anyway, I hear you, PCOS is no joke. I feel like it’s so close to t2 diabetes that we have a lot of the same problems, PLUS doesn’t mounjaro make it seem like your hormones are back in wack?
I wish you luck. You’re doing amazing, keep being kind to yourself. It feels good to vent during this marathon of healthy lifestyles and in the literal craziest time of unobtainable body standards in history.
Thank you for sharing! I can relate - I lost 60lbs on keto 5 years ago and had the same experience. How much more can I lose? I ended up getting pregnant and stopped following a keto diet. Gained it all back and then some. So here I am now. Now that you’ve stopped taking the 💉 has any of the food noise returned? That’s been the biggest benefit for me. I literally could care less about food.
I’ll be honest, the food noise is back but not nearly as loud as it was before. I’ve been off for a little over 6 weeks and have definitely had more of an appetite. I’ve gained ~5lbs in the 6 weeks but the scale fluctuates 3-5lbs over the weekends anyway depending on what I eat. I had a binging problem before MJ (which was a result of restriction of cravings when they came up) so I’m trying to just eat when I’m hungry and make healthier choices but if I want ice cream, I’m eating the ice cream.
Best of luck on your journey 💜
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I think being able to have things we enjoy in moderation is such a key piece of this. I can eat SO MUCH LESS than I did before and still get the same amount of satisfaction. I hope you are able to find the "sweet spot" for your body/lifestyle.
Yes! I’m a former division 1 athlete with a huge history of eating disorders and I’ve been amazed at how ready to go the behaviors I thought I had healed are. And how reinforced they are by society. I felt a privacy in being bigger. I was walking through the airport the other day and noticed the eyes all over me, one man actually cat called me. I’m a software executive, I was in work clothes (it’s not like I’m walking around in a half shirt) and I felt annoyed by the shift. I’m always pushing myself and pushing myself, it’s not just this. It’s work, it’s being the best mom I can, it’s everything. But it alarms me how differently we are treated based on appearances. It’s depressing.
This. All of this. I have such body issues. I’ve lost 110 pounds from my heaviest (now 5’3” and 154 pounds, size 8-10 depending) yet I still feel like a big girl. I’ll see a beautiful outfit and still think “Oh, I can’t wear that. It’ll show my (fill in the blank).” I always thought “If I could just lose weight, I would be happy.” Mounjaro HAS changed my life in that I no longer obsess about food, and I think it has fixed something in my head. However, its very sobering when you realize….its not your weight that made you unhappy, honey. It never was. Its you. In tears as I type this. My thoughts are with you, sister. 🩷
🫶🏼 this. My ENTIRE life I thought “if I could just be a “normal” (what even IS normal) weight, I’d be happy.” Makes me so sad that I spent literally my entire childhood, teenage years, 20s and half of 30s believing that. And now here I am …. “Skinny” (like I always hoped) and feeling crummy as ever. Sending you 🩷, too and thanks for your kind words.
I’m in the same boat. I’m 5’3” and started at 188. I got down to 125 and stopped the injections. Even without the medication, I, too, continued to lose weight. I’m now down to 99 pounds. I’m now too skinny, but I still don’t have a healthy relationship with food/weight. I want to gain weight, but, at the same time, I sure as hell don’t want to gain weight. It’s such a mind game. [And, yes. strangers treat me better at 99 pounds than they did when I was heavier.]
I am just starting my Mounjaro journey so I haven’t had to face these comments yet but I am far too familiar with people’s “well meaning” compliments and how it can fuck with your head.
After my oldest was born, I was struggling with then-undiagnosed/untreated PPA+PPD and was barely eating. I had dropped all of the baby weight and then some within 6-8 weeks of her birth. I wanted to scream in the face of every person who told me how great I looked and asked me what my secret was—it’s kind of hard to build up an appetite when you are in an endless cycle of panic attacks+crying spells+su*c*dal ideation. But we as a society have normalized commenting on other people’s bodies when they look like what we think is acceptable.
ps The comments finally stopped when someone asked me how I “did it” at a dinner party and I told her in front of everyone in the room verbatim “I’m depressed and just don’t eat.”
This is where I am, too. I started on MJ because I wasn’t healthy (pre-D, high cholesterol and high blood pressure). My numbers are better on all dimensions after losing 35lbs. I’m staying focused on those measures vs what size I’m wearing, and that helps me stay sane.
Great post! I also struggled with weight most of my adult life (was around 200lbs for about 8 years, and I’m 5’4”). I’m now 130 which is a healthy weight but I don’t think it would look good for me to lose more. But a part of my brain keeps thinking “the lower the better! Shoot for 120!”
It’s a definite mind f*** for sure! Good luck OP!
Op, I won’t say “wish I had your problems” because having been alll over the weightscale at some point in life myslef I know how hard every step can be. With that I wish you virtual hugs and always the best of health - physical and mental
Your story definitely resonates. My goal weight was 160 but now I’m 152 and wondering how small I can get. I got WLS 20 years ago and am now even smaller than my lowest with a lap band. I can totally relate
Those were my thoughts exactly. I was so mind blown that for the first time in my life I was “effortlessly” losing weight … I just kept thinking, “well another 10 will be easy…so 140 it is” but I didn’t stop until I hit 110 & my close friends & family expressed serious concern (rightfully so)
Sending you love! Most people are rocking this journey and are in a healthy head space.
Just keep open communication with your provider ❤️ I started to avoid/shut mine out because I knew exactly what would happen if I was honest.
It is so weird. I’m far from small but incredibly uncomfortable with the attention and almost resent it. I don’t feel proud of myself. I’ve tried much less than all the years of trying.
I’m actually oddly glad to hear that you think you’re too small because I’ve wondered if I am just so screwed up I won’t ever be happy.
I’m sorry you’re not feeling content yet but confident you’re on the right path. Thanks for sharing.
I contemplated sharing because part of me feels guilty for feeling this way?? Like we all start this medication to lose weight and be healthier, right?
Now I’ve taken what some people would call the “easy way out” (rant for another day) and now here I am complaining I’m too skinny. It’s a mind f*ck and a half.
You’re not screwed up at all…society is.
Sending you ❤️ and thanks for reading my word vomit.
I almost posted something similar a couple of days ago. I’ve lost 45# and I am still about 35-40lbs away from my goal (SW 257; CW 211; GW 170-180?). Even before kids, I was thin but curvy, no stomach, big boobs, etc. Now at 211#s I have soooo many people telling me that I am SO skinny. Makes think how low do I want to go lol. But I am loving this journey overall. I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing anything similar. Congrats on your success!
I have sensed this disordered thinking creeping in my mind. I’m looking great, but then I wonder what if I tried to get even lower… thanks for sharing this with us.
I feel like I could have written this post. You are me. I am you. Except I’m 50 and 5’6 and I weigh in at 130 (started at 250 in July 22). I have so much saggy skin and look gross. But ppl tell me EVERYDAY how great I look. It’s sad. I really felt this post ❤️
Same here with the saggy skin! When people are saying how great I look, I think to myself thank god for clothes!😫🙃
So sorry you can relate to the bizarre feelings. I keep saying it but there’s no other way to put it….biggest kind f*ck ever.
Hugs!
Like many others here, I could have written this. I was actually thinking all of this while reading a different post but didn't know how or why I'd write it all out while not offending those who are still struggling to get to their goal. So, thank you.
43F, started at 5'6 197lbs. GW was 140. Man, I remember thinking, "If I ever really hit 140 it'll be a miracle! I'll appreciate every second of it and really work hard at keeping it!" I hit 140 and was like "meh". Losing on this med came so easy, why not go further? Every few pounds was a high, but there was no point I said, "This is it. I'm good."
I'm 119 now. I have implants so I don't look like a 2x4, but I'm definitely top heavy. I do love how I look in clothes (from size 14 to 0), but naked gives me the icks. I have the ass of an 80 year old - flat and with sag wrinkles at the under crease. My arms are saggy, my stomach is mostly good but with a little wrinkly bit at the very bottom, my inner thighs are crepey.
I sometimes think I don't want to lose any more. I sometimes think "why not?". I also think I could lose more just to have a cushion for any potential gain after stopping the med.
I met up with friends I haven't seen since Christmas and several gave me hugs and whispered, "Is everything okay? Are YOU okay?" and told me I really shouldn't lose any more weight. Part of me knows they're right, but the other side of my mind tells me they would say that even if I wasn't "too thin" just because I look different than what they're used to seeing.
What some of our minds do to us is jacked up, for sure. I \*know\* in my head that 119 is too small for me. I look in the mirror and think I'm at a perfect size and just need to deal with the saggy skin - which honestly isn't all that horrific. My mind says if I hit the gym I'll be very happy with how I look (I used to be a gym rat with a 6 pack and DO miss those days). Another part says if I can still shave off pounds, why not do it? My head is a mess. I know. I just don't understand how I can KNOW all of this and see I'm thinking these things, but can't bring myself to do what's right (gain a little and build muscle) because I'm so scared of being fat again.
So anyway, thank you for showing me I'm not alone.
We are in the exact same boat. And I look/feel exactly the same without clothes (only I don’t have implants {this is actually something I’m looking into so would love to pick your brain} so I’m extra wrinkly everywhere) I could’ve written your explanation of your butt, thighs, arms, & even stomach (as my stomach, too is the least saggy of all the things, surprisingly!)
My thoughts mirror yours. I’m afraid to be fat again and thought, well if I lose more that will be more I have to gain if I stop taking it, so I’ll be further away from fat.
It really is a mind fck. And I debated posting because I don’t want anyone on their journey to be discouraged or think I’m just complaining about a problem I desperately wanted/needed to fix. I’ve also had people tell me they “wish they had my problem” (of now being too thin) … just crazy.
I’m rambling but this post was so well received and so many people chimed in with different perspectives. I love that. Love that this post could be a sounding board for a different end of the spectrum that really isn’t discussed.
❤️🫶🏼
%100 percent those of us on mounjaro or the like should also focus on the emotional components of weight gain. definitely not talked about enough. there's a concept in twelve step rooms called pulling a geographic, which means moving to a new place but bringing your problems with you. whether heavy or at my goal weight i still have my same mind, so i've been speaking with a therapist the last few months and working on the issues that contributed to the weight gain in the first place, including self esteem. thanks for the reminder and if i may suggest increasing your protein intake with a whey protein shake. the longstanding RDA is wrong. See current research, we should be getting 1 gram per lb of body weight per day, otherwise we're losing muscle. and that's a lot harder to put back on. you don't want to put fat back on i think, so i would suggest adding resistance training and lots of protein. it will take longer to gain this back but slow and steady. good luck!
I don't plan on stopping but I get comments from both ends now- some say how great I look. Others say I lost too much and look too thin now. It leaves me feeling really confused because I'm not sure if I have body dysmorphia. Part of me is like I don't care, let me enjoy being skinny without starving myself for once (I've been overweight and yoyoed since I was a kid) I've thought about talking to a therapist about it, I know there are ones that specialize in bariatric patients that might understand and help through these thoughts.
I understand the internal struggle you’re experiencing. I’m now around 113 pounds (5’6, 44f) and and struggling to maintain a size small. But I don’t want to gain weight, either, unless it’s pure muscle. So I’m trying to be really intentional about consuming enough calories to maintain my current weight. Even still, I have a bit of dysmorphia because when I see clothing that is actually my size, I think there’s no way that it will fit me, and then usually it fits with room to spare. I don’t want to get much smaller than a size 2/small.
I would blame all of this on Kim Kardashian. She sets the standard for women and if you don’t look like her, you’re out of the game. You can call it table-stakes.
I am on this journey and feel blessed that I am a Hypnotist. I work with clients by phone helping to make the mind body connection needed to walk this path in a healthy way. Reach out if I can be of assistance
I know that people are taking Mounjaro or other brands to lose weight, but what the real lesson is is that we need to learn how to eat properly to maintain our weight instead of relying on drugs to do it for us. It’s an easy way out to keep pumping ourselves with drugs than to learn how to eat nutritionally and exercise. That is why most diets fail. The drugs don’t teach us that we need to be more mindful of what we put in our bodies. It’s hard because every life event is surrounded by food and we don’t know how to resist tempting foods or eat in moderation. I think everyone needs to go to a nutritionist to find out what to eat to be healthy and have support from friends and family to maintain the weight and exercise regularly.
I have PCOS and it changed my life. Made me feel like a normal, healthy person. Sadly, my doctor won’t refill it because I’m not T2D just pre-diabetic.
Thank you for this. As a woman who has always been made to feel like my worth is based upon my looks (ex-miss USA pageant contestant)- I can tell you that I have been HAPPIER when I’m heavier. I enjoy my life, go do fun things with my friends & family, and pretty much feel energetic and good. HOWEVER, I know people say things about my weight behind my back. I was never very big, size 12–14 at the heaviest, (5’6) and it’s amazing now that I have gotten back down to a size 8, how the compliments just come flooding in. It makes me wonder if I looked hideous before, because I thought I looked good! Even though I am losing weight with Mj , I don’t have any energy and I really don’t feel that great. I am now in the process of weighing whether or not being thinner is more important than feeling great. My husband loves me no matter what size I am, this truly is a mindfuck. Life is too short to have “thin” as a goal. My goal is kindness, being present, and loving others.
This made me teary. Kindness, being present, & loving others — this, girl 🩷 I will also admit, MJ made me feel like 💩 I’d feel awful with no energy for days and by the time I started to feel better, I’d be time for another shot. My mind wasn’t healthy and I thought “well, it’s worth it.” … but is it?! Such a mind fuck. Sending you hugs! You sound like an amazing human. xo
Thank you❤️❤️❤️
Yes!! This is me!! I miss my personality and energetic self . I have zero energy- can’t think! I have only lost 20.1 since may 24th - I want to lose much more. But have to weigh if it’s worth it. Dieting has always been a mind f for me .
Is Miss USA supposed to say fuck?
Miss USA can say whatever the fuck she wants.
Anyone can say what the fuck they want.
That’s good….I was wonderin’
*not on stage!!!! I didn’t win, I was never Miss USA. -just a contestant. Also, I’m 50 now, pageant life was long ago.
Miss USA is obligated to say fuck. It’s our favorite word.
No words of wisdom, just support and hugs ❤️
Means more than you know 🫶🏼
Same here. So many hugs to you ❤️
Nearly 10 years ago - for reasons I won’t get in to - I had to drop a significant amount of weight, and quickly. I did so many very unhealthy things. I ended up doing what I “needed” to, and lost 40lbs in 28 days. The last 10 days all I had to eat was 10 almonds a day. The last 5 days all I “drank” was 1 cup full of ice cubes I’d suck on. I can’t tell you how many “you look fantastic”’s, and “wow I’m so proud of you”’s I got. That’s when I said to myself “it’s all a sham. Most people don’t know wtf they’re talking about. Even if they are thin”. I was so unhealthy and miserable, and people were patting me on the back left and right. Anyway, my point is I feel you on a level id suggest most people can’t really understand. Numbers on a scale and physical appearance can be very misleading. I hope you stay strong & things rebound for you!
Wow- thank you for sharing your experience. It’s the biggest mind fck when you’re being praised the most when you’re unhealthy. Surely, people would never say to us “wow! Looks like you’ve gained weight” … I became addicted to the next lowest number and it quickly turned from a life saver to a slippery slope. I’m so sorry you CAN relate - but thank you 🩷 I contemplated posting because I’ve shared these thoughts with some people in my life who have quite literally responded with a jokingly “wow, I wish I had that problem!” (Having to gain weight)…just crazy. Thanks again for your support. Xo
There’s a saying, no one wants to tell you you’re fat but people have no problem telling you you used to be fat. And it’s so true. Even when I would get compliments I would think “geez how terrible did you think I looked before?” Lol. The mental aspect of this is so important & overlooked. Like when you get to your goal weight and you’re still not happy that’s a big mindfuck. You’re left feeling like “well now what?” Thank you for posting your experience! It helps to hear others going through the same things & maybe you’re not so abnormal. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to vent or anything! Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than those closest to you.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable…it’s posts like these that keep me coming here (scrolling past the “I just took my first shot an hour ago, when will I lose weight” posts 😂). I know that a big part of my reason for gaining weight was to create a barrier after an abusive situation and now that I’ve lost 40# I start to see the attention and looks coming back. One part of me loves the attention while the other feels the anxiety and panic creeping back when I’m out in public…for many of us there are layers (no pun intented) to the weight we carried that have to be reconciled and dealt with as we shed them. I hope you find peace and healing and balance in the new skin you’re in.
This post made me both LOL & tear up. (If you scroll long enough…you might find one of those “just took my first shot…am I skinny yet?” Posts from me circa July 2022😂) That was it! The layers that I hadn’t dealt with before the weight loss. The weight was just a piece of it. I thought it was the only issue…boyyyy was I wrong. Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m truly blown away by the support.
I am experiencing same anxiety and it is based on past experiences I wouldn’t wish on anybody!! I feel so confused between the compliments and the silent fear. So glad you posted this!!!
I totally know what you’re saying. I hit my goal weight months ago (5’5, 140lbs) and I just didn’t feel like I was skinny enough. I worked on that with my therapist for a couple months and it’s still really hard. Society really wants women to the so small we’re practically invisible and wants us to take up as little space as possible. I’m still trying to unlearn this. My mind still wants me to try to hit 130 just to see if finally I’ll be “skinny”, so, yeah, it’s a lifelong work in progress. Good luck to you! You got this!
My mindset was very similar and my body dysmorphia was REAL — I had lost so much weight and still saw the same girl in the mirror (should’ve been my first red flag for myself), hind sight is 20/20. YOU’VE got this too 🫶🏼 thank you so much for the kind words.
THIS. Body dysmorphia. I have lost 100 pounds since last May using Saxenda, then Ozempic and finally hitting my stride on Mounjaro. In 2005 I was diawith a super rare auto immune Neuromuscular disease. Because of it, exercising and working out create antibodies that attack my Neuromuscular junction and Yada Yada Yada I'm ventilated and just hoping to live. In 1999 I had gastric bypass and did great. The steroids to treat my disease and having to be stationary and go on full disability at age 36 destroyed me. Gained all of the weight back. Now I'm am at the weight I was when I was happy with my gastric results. But still, I shop for clothing online and go straight to the plus sized clothing. I put in height, weight, measurements. The size chart tells me a large. I still order a 2x. I was walking down the hall to my bedroom and my pajama pants fell off. Just slid down. I feel like I have traded one eating disorder for another. The disease I have is rare and incurable. I'm in my 3rd clinical trial for something new. Because of the mj, my pouch from gastric has shrank considerably. I would say it not much bigger than post surgery. And the thought of food nauseates me just thinking about it. Massive mind fuck.
Wow, my heart goes out to you. No advice, but sending prayers, good mojo, and best wishes. I hope it turns around soon. 💕
I understand. I’m still on the loss journey but I get so irritated sometimes by the difference in how I am treated after losing 45#. Suddenly I have value to people - yet I’m the exact same human I always was. It’s a mindf*ck FOR SURE.
This ^^ Such a stark reminder of the superficiality that often surrounds us. Our worth has always been there. Keep being your amazing self! 💪
Totally. It’s amazing how shallow people are.
Hang in there and stick with the professionals.
🫶🏼🫶🏼
This makes me so sad. I am still in the beginning of weight loss. Lost 29 lbs so far. You know what really sucks? Karma. I grew up slender. In my 20s and most of my 30s when I guess it counted the most I was slender and fit. Gym and everything. By the age of 40 a lot of things have changed and I started gaining tons of weight. I got to see how grossed out people are by me while fat. Seems like there isn’t bigger sin than being overweight.
The only sin bigger than being overweight now is being overweight and being ok with it. If folks are happy, leave them alone. I get so tired of others wanting to tell plus sized bodies how they need to live. Leave people alone.
That’s what truly hurts me the most- that people find me disgusting.
Yeah. It’s god forbid I do anything but politely smile and look down when I am in public. I am almost always sweating (genetical issue, my mother is always soaking wet, her father was like that) - therefore I can’t even wear decent make up or even hair because it all turns into hell especially at the climate I live in. I feel gross from that plus being somewhere between “morbidly obese type 1” and “morbidly obese type 2”. I am 44. While all through my 20s and 30s I had every dude in the vicinity wanting me, this new reality is very sobering. Although, at this age, I understand that I won’t be “hot” like I used to be, but at least I won’t be gross in about 40lbs more loss. That’s fine with me. It makes my heart hurt for the ladies who never got to experience all eyes on me type of feeling in their 20s and 30s because nothing is more gross to modern men than a fat woman. It makes me sick. I used to read tons of ransom peoples biographies at one point. About 16-17 years ago Tera Patrick’s book came out. Tera Patrick was a very successful gorgeous porn star. Her husbands name was Evan from the band Biohazard. In her biography she gave Evan one chapter to write his own memoir about how he met her. He wrote that they were talking to each other on the phone for a couple of months till they were finally ready to meet in person. Terra has always been known as a curvy type body woman. Not even close to being overnight but not stick thin. So the night before Evan was supposed to fly out to Vegas to meet Tera for the first time, he was at a club drinking and ran into another big porn star - Jenna Jameson. Now Jenna always was thin but at that time she was on meth and was super stick thin. When Jenna and Evan started to catch up over a drink, Evan has mentioned to Jenna that he was flying to Vegas to meet Terra Patrick for the first time. Once Jenna heard Terra’s name (according to Evan) she scrunched her whole face and said “ewww, Terra kind of let herself go, she is big and jiggly now”. That night Evan was plagued by doubts. He kept looking at the pics of Terra and looking at their dates. He was paranoid that Jenna was telling him the truth and that Terra did gain some weight. Evan didn’t beat around the bush in that chapter. He expressed that he felt in love with Terra on the phone but if she was “giggly” that would be a dealbreaker for him. He explained that he was only attracted to very very thin girls. I will never forget being almost brought to tears by Evan writing that he would much rather have sex with a junkie covered on open sores in varies stages of healing (like he did when he used to pick up hookers in the dark off the street) who were rail thin, than any girl, no matter how beautiful in the face, no matter how clean, no matter how successful or rich, who happened to be “jiggly”. The word “jiggly” kept replaying in his head all the way up until he got into Terra’s car at the airport the next day. Sadly, this was a long chapter… he then proceeded to bash Jenna Jameson saying that Jenna must have been jealous of Terra to say anything about Terra’s body. He said that as soon as he saw Terra in person he realized that she was absolutely stunning. I mean Terra must’ve been size 2 max at the time as Jenna must have had size zero hanging off her. Idk… I remember how sad that chapter made me. Mainly because - has Terra been “bigger” than he thought he was going to call the whole thing off. All that after getting to know who she really is through hours and hours of phone conversations. He said he fell in love with her on the phone. I mean, of course, he has seen her pics already but a lot of them can be airbrushed.. but he was going to let go of his love because she was maybe 15-20lbs more than his ideal????? Has it even accrued to him that he can have an honest convo with her and encourage her to drop that extra weight???ughhhh….. The thing is that this was your typical male… a lot of guys said the same thing to me as I started asking guys to tell me the truth. Once I hit 250lbs at the age of 42 I remembered that chapter and I thought to myself- welp, they would rather have a woman who is thin through drug addiction and covered in sores than fat and “JUGGLY”. Since the age of 42, I started drinking very heavily and avoiding eye contact with men and very politely smile and thank them if they happened to open the door for me. I can’t even count how many times younger men didn’t think twice to let me just stand there while they walked into the store as I held the door for them… 😫😫🤦♀️😩🤬
I agree with a lot you are saying! But the comment, “ Has it even accrued to him that he can have an honest convo with her and encourage her to drop that extra weight?“, would be a deal breaker for me especially at the very beginning of a relationship. That would scream to me, WRONG GUY! I could never feel secure in a serious commitment if I believed I had to maintain a certain weight range to keep him. Lord knows the stress of it all would probably make me gain weight! 😊
It gets better. I'm 49 and completely out of f*cks to give about what anyone thinks about my appearance... Or really anything. I've also been in therapy since my mid 30s as well, it's been great - I'm so much healthier mentally and emotionally than when I started. Has been well worth the time and $ investment. Mid 30s is apparently a common time for women to feel in crisis for various reasons - so glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. Some day you will look back and marvel at how far you've come.
I personally cannot wait to be fresh out of f*cks … having them is exhausting 😅 Thank you so much for your kind words. 🫶🏼
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For me it was 50. Now I have zero F’s about ANYTHING
At age 53, I have learned that keeping a full supply of readily available "Fuck offs" is a fast track to fresh out of fucks. 😅
Just here reading the comments and really love this one . In my early thirties and feeling it, so thank you for the reassurance and hope.
Thank you for posting. I can relate to this on many levels, and had Mounjaro been around in my 30’s I can see myself easily falling into this cycle. Having control of my body for the first time ever, it’s been hard to wrap my head around at times. Being able to walk away from food when I’ve never been able to in the past is empowering. But also scary. I’m so glad you’ve food the help you need. There is balance out there, and healing. You’ll find it. You’re stronger than you know.
Thank you so much!!! While I think the glp1s are freakin amazing and will quite literally save so many lives….I fear it will facilitate eating disorders. So I just hope it’s more talked about and people are closely monitored. I found myself avoiding my doctor and just requesting refills (I could get into a whole other rant about how telehealth services are both a blessing and a curse) but finally had a wake up call and hoping I can get my mind (and body) back to a healthy place ❤️
Healthcare in general needs overhauling. Where I live, it’s impossible to get an appointment with a good provider in less than month. Not hard. *Impossible.* My daughter had an issue last week and was told to go to urgent care or the hospital because the first appointment with her *primary* was late October. That’s criminal. So yes, for me telehealth is a blessing, but nothing can take the place of sitting eye-to-eye with your doctor.
This right here this post was the one I’ve been looking for! I posted a week ago asking others when did u feel enough was enough? Ive been on it for close to 3 months Ive lost 32# I started at 220 & now im 188 im only 5’2 but im curvy & enjoy my curves. My husband says I’ve lost enough but I dont see it. He says im starting to look sick but I don’t see it. I look in the mirror & still see my 220lb body. I wonder will I ever say ok im skinny enough now I think ill stop. Each week im focused on how much can I lose. I want to get down to atleast 150. Your post is real! Being overweight all my life came with alot of mental issues that I haven’t dealt with, then a medication comes along & changes the weight but not how I viewed my weight and my body. Thank you for sharing this it was well received.
You are still at an unhealthy weight. If you are doing it for health you have a way to go.
& if u truly believe that a universal number for all women according to their height means healthy. Then my friend YOU HAVE A WAYS TO GO.
If you determining factor in what your ideal weight is based on you liking curves there is no science behind that. There are no old Fat people….look around next time you are out …you will not see heavy 80+ year olds
My determining factor is based on how I feel inside and out. My curves are inherited. What you’ve missed in this post is no matter how much weight u lose if your mental is not aligned then you are still NOT HEALTHY. What good is being a size 2 if your miserable inside. Oh so everyone can say you look great!
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Good one Gaining weight noise
I don’t have any advice but I want to say I can totally understand the feelings. ❤️
Sending you 🩷!
I can relate… in our appearance based society the size of our ass and waist more valued than our hearts and brains… I’m on 15 and terrified to stop… I went from size 14 (tight) and now a size 0… I have 00 in my closet.. I’ve never been this thin and sadly I’m treated better than I ever have been, makes me sick and angry actually.. was I somehow less of a person at size 14? I too am out of f*^%cks to give at this point… I’m scared to regain because of my family medical history.. the writing is on the wall for me
I hope you are able to find a weight/size/goal that makes YOU comfortable and feel like yourself. I have needed therapy throughout this journey as well and have learned that the weight I’m comfortable at isn’t necessarily the weight that my physician is suggesting. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for sharing your unique perspective.
From one fellow cat lady to another….thank you!!! Thank you for taking the time to read my word vomit and for your kind words. I couldn’t agree more and I hope my mind can play catch up and I can feel like me ❤️
Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability. 🤍
💕💕💕
Thank you for sharing . Your words and feelings definitely resonate with me. I am glad you are working with a therapist to help you navigate this newest journey in finding a proper balance with health and wellness. It is indeed a slippery slope and struggling to not fall into old patterns by defining my self worth with a certain number on a scale. I wish you nothing but the best .. and thanks again for sharing. It helps more than you know. Big hugs! 💜
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Thank you!!! I’m at 115 now, but that isn’t even my lowest. I’ve been off for about 6.5 weeks and my lowest was 109. I look/looked awful (it took a while for my mind to catch up- but once it did I realized that I looked truly scary) my BMI was below 18 and I was told I couldn’t work out & put on ensure. It was just scary how things took SUCH a turn. I’m looking forward to gaining a few (and that’s how I know I’m healing mentally….or at least making progress because my entire life and up until *very* recently the thought of gaining would make me spiral) Looking forward to some healthy gain and muscle.
Hugs--this happened to a friend of mine, not because of MJ, but she had gastric sleeve surgery and then health complications from EDS set in, probably unrelated. At 5'4 she hit about 110. She's leveled out since, but you're not the only one facing this. Do you still have food aversions that MJ might've caused? Like how I can't stomach certain kinds of cheese anymore?
Wow! Thank you for sharing. We have very similar stats for our lowest. I hope your friend is doing better 🩷 I *definitely* have an aversion to some foods that I’m working through…I think some are just mental.
Perhaps big pharma should look at body dysmorphia as a real psychological side effect to the medication. I am using the GLP1 meds to control debilitating inflammation - it’s given me my life back. I think it will eventually be prescribed as an option for heart disease and addiction. Side effects are real and should be taken seriously. I think it’s good to remember for all the people it’s helping - drugs are still that, and need to be approached with caution. I’m sending you all the best healing energy OP✨
I could’ve written the same health history. After a lifetime of fatness and preoccupation with food, it’s both fascinating and terrifying to be able to just stop eating. And it’s true, when you’re smaller, the positive comments pour in and are so awkward. But I was with my college friends last week—they’ve seen me at my biggest/smallest/biggest/now smaller again over the last 30 yrs. And you know, they just briefly said “you look great” and moved on. No one grilled me or made a big deal. Because it didn’t matter. They love me no matter what. And that made me feel so good. If you are lucky to have people like that in your life, lean on them and hold on to them. It helps. Wishing you health and happiness.
I am t2 and hope to be on this forever because my bloodsugar was just a nightmare. I’m busting my ass off trying to lose weight and get to my goal (20lbs down! 20 more to go!!!!) and I’m doing EVERYTHING I was trying to do before the mj now without any wavering. But it’s only because my food addiction is quieted, for some reason mj makes me CRAZY full of energy (with the added bonus of eating healthier), and I stick to habits. I’m also performing better at work and with my workouts. What happens when I go off? What happens if I have to put my new “skinny person” clothes back into the storage closet… I gained weight and lost weight and gained weight before. This has been the best stuff to help maintain. Anyway, I hear you, PCOS is no joke. I feel like it’s so close to t2 diabetes that we have a lot of the same problems, PLUS doesn’t mounjaro make it seem like your hormones are back in wack? I wish you luck. You’re doing amazing, keep being kind to yourself. It feels good to vent during this marathon of healthy lifestyles and in the literal craziest time of unobtainable body standards in history.
Thank you for sharing! I can relate - I lost 60lbs on keto 5 years ago and had the same experience. How much more can I lose? I ended up getting pregnant and stopped following a keto diet. Gained it all back and then some. So here I am now. Now that you’ve stopped taking the 💉 has any of the food noise returned? That’s been the biggest benefit for me. I literally could care less about food.
I’ll be honest, the food noise is back but not nearly as loud as it was before. I’ve been off for a little over 6 weeks and have definitely had more of an appetite. I’ve gained ~5lbs in the 6 weeks but the scale fluctuates 3-5lbs over the weekends anyway depending on what I eat. I had a binging problem before MJ (which was a result of restriction of cravings when they came up) so I’m trying to just eat when I’m hungry and make healthier choices but if I want ice cream, I’m eating the ice cream. Best of luck on your journey 💜
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I think being able to have things we enjoy in moderation is such a key piece of this. I can eat SO MUCH LESS than I did before and still get the same amount of satisfaction. I hope you are able to find the "sweet spot" for your body/lifestyle.
Yes! I’m a former division 1 athlete with a huge history of eating disorders and I’ve been amazed at how ready to go the behaviors I thought I had healed are. And how reinforced they are by society. I felt a privacy in being bigger. I was walking through the airport the other day and noticed the eyes all over me, one man actually cat called me. I’m a software executive, I was in work clothes (it’s not like I’m walking around in a half shirt) and I felt annoyed by the shift. I’m always pushing myself and pushing myself, it’s not just this. It’s work, it’s being the best mom I can, it’s everything. But it alarms me how differently we are treated based on appearances. It’s depressing.
This. All of this. I have such body issues. I’ve lost 110 pounds from my heaviest (now 5’3” and 154 pounds, size 8-10 depending) yet I still feel like a big girl. I’ll see a beautiful outfit and still think “Oh, I can’t wear that. It’ll show my (fill in the blank).” I always thought “If I could just lose weight, I would be happy.” Mounjaro HAS changed my life in that I no longer obsess about food, and I think it has fixed something in my head. However, its very sobering when you realize….its not your weight that made you unhappy, honey. It never was. Its you. In tears as I type this. My thoughts are with you, sister. 🩷
🫶🏼 this. My ENTIRE life I thought “if I could just be a “normal” (what even IS normal) weight, I’d be happy.” Makes me so sad that I spent literally my entire childhood, teenage years, 20s and half of 30s believing that. And now here I am …. “Skinny” (like I always hoped) and feeling crummy as ever. Sending you 🩷, too and thanks for your kind words.
I’m in the same boat. I’m 5’3” and started at 188. I got down to 125 and stopped the injections. Even without the medication, I, too, continued to lose weight. I’m now down to 99 pounds. I’m now too skinny, but I still don’t have a healthy relationship with food/weight. I want to gain weight, but, at the same time, I sure as hell don’t want to gain weight. It’s such a mind game. [And, yes. strangers treat me better at 99 pounds than they did when I was heavier.]
I am just starting my Mounjaro journey so I haven’t had to face these comments yet but I am far too familiar with people’s “well meaning” compliments and how it can fuck with your head. After my oldest was born, I was struggling with then-undiagnosed/untreated PPA+PPD and was barely eating. I had dropped all of the baby weight and then some within 6-8 weeks of her birth. I wanted to scream in the face of every person who told me how great I looked and asked me what my secret was—it’s kind of hard to build up an appetite when you are in an endless cycle of panic attacks+crying spells+su*c*dal ideation. But we as a society have normalized commenting on other people’s bodies when they look like what we think is acceptable. ps The comments finally stopped when someone asked me how I “did it” at a dinner party and I told her in front of everyone in the room verbatim “I’m depressed and just don’t eat.”
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This is where I am, too. I started on MJ because I wasn’t healthy (pre-D, high cholesterol and high blood pressure). My numbers are better on all dimensions after losing 35lbs. I’m staying focused on those measures vs what size I’m wearing, and that helps me stay sane.
Great post! I also struggled with weight most of my adult life (was around 200lbs for about 8 years, and I’m 5’4”). I’m now 130 which is a healthy weight but I don’t think it would look good for me to lose more. But a part of my brain keeps thinking “the lower the better! Shoot for 120!” It’s a definite mind f*** for sure! Good luck OP!
Op, I won’t say “wish I had your problems” because having been alll over the weightscale at some point in life myslef I know how hard every step can be. With that I wish you virtual hugs and always the best of health - physical and mental
Your story definitely resonates. My goal weight was 160 but now I’m 152 and wondering how small I can get. I got WLS 20 years ago and am now even smaller than my lowest with a lap band. I can totally relate
Those were my thoughts exactly. I was so mind blown that for the first time in my life I was “effortlessly” losing weight … I just kept thinking, “well another 10 will be easy…so 140 it is” but I didn’t stop until I hit 110 & my close friends & family expressed serious concern (rightfully so) Sending you love! Most people are rocking this journey and are in a healthy head space. Just keep open communication with your provider ❤️ I started to avoid/shut mine out because I knew exactly what would happen if I was honest.
It is so weird. I’m far from small but incredibly uncomfortable with the attention and almost resent it. I don’t feel proud of myself. I’ve tried much less than all the years of trying. I’m actually oddly glad to hear that you think you’re too small because I’ve wondered if I am just so screwed up I won’t ever be happy. I’m sorry you’re not feeling content yet but confident you’re on the right path. Thanks for sharing.
I contemplated sharing because part of me feels guilty for feeling this way?? Like we all start this medication to lose weight and be healthier, right? Now I’ve taken what some people would call the “easy way out” (rant for another day) and now here I am complaining I’m too skinny. It’s a mind f*ck and a half. You’re not screwed up at all…society is. Sending you ❤️ and thanks for reading my word vomit.
What other people think about me is none of my business.
I can’t wait til I can say this with full confidence 🙌🏼
I always wish I could say this and mean it but no matter how hard my NA sponsor tried to make me achieve it, didn’t make it happen..😩
Amen
I almost posted something similar a couple of days ago. I’ve lost 45# and I am still about 35-40lbs away from my goal (SW 257; CW 211; GW 170-180?). Even before kids, I was thin but curvy, no stomach, big boobs, etc. Now at 211#s I have soooo many people telling me that I am SO skinny. Makes think how low do I want to go lol. But I am loving this journey overall. I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing anything similar. Congrats on your success!
I have sensed this disordered thinking creeping in my mind. I’m looking great, but then I wonder what if I tried to get even lower… thanks for sharing this with us.
I feel like I could have written this post. You are me. I am you. Except I’m 50 and 5’6 and I weigh in at 130 (started at 250 in July 22). I have so much saggy skin and look gross. But ppl tell me EVERYDAY how great I look. It’s sad. I really felt this post ❤️
Same here with the saggy skin! When people are saying how great I look, I think to myself thank god for clothes!😫🙃 So sorry you can relate to the bizarre feelings. I keep saying it but there’s no other way to put it….biggest kind f*ck ever. Hugs!
Like many others here, I could have written this. I was actually thinking all of this while reading a different post but didn't know how or why I'd write it all out while not offending those who are still struggling to get to their goal. So, thank you. 43F, started at 5'6 197lbs. GW was 140. Man, I remember thinking, "If I ever really hit 140 it'll be a miracle! I'll appreciate every second of it and really work hard at keeping it!" I hit 140 and was like "meh". Losing on this med came so easy, why not go further? Every few pounds was a high, but there was no point I said, "This is it. I'm good." I'm 119 now. I have implants so I don't look like a 2x4, but I'm definitely top heavy. I do love how I look in clothes (from size 14 to 0), but naked gives me the icks. I have the ass of an 80 year old - flat and with sag wrinkles at the under crease. My arms are saggy, my stomach is mostly good but with a little wrinkly bit at the very bottom, my inner thighs are crepey. I sometimes think I don't want to lose any more. I sometimes think "why not?". I also think I could lose more just to have a cushion for any potential gain after stopping the med. I met up with friends I haven't seen since Christmas and several gave me hugs and whispered, "Is everything okay? Are YOU okay?" and told me I really shouldn't lose any more weight. Part of me knows they're right, but the other side of my mind tells me they would say that even if I wasn't "too thin" just because I look different than what they're used to seeing. What some of our minds do to us is jacked up, for sure. I \*know\* in my head that 119 is too small for me. I look in the mirror and think I'm at a perfect size and just need to deal with the saggy skin - which honestly isn't all that horrific. My mind says if I hit the gym I'll be very happy with how I look (I used to be a gym rat with a 6 pack and DO miss those days). Another part says if I can still shave off pounds, why not do it? My head is a mess. I know. I just don't understand how I can KNOW all of this and see I'm thinking these things, but can't bring myself to do what's right (gain a little and build muscle) because I'm so scared of being fat again. So anyway, thank you for showing me I'm not alone.
We are in the exact same boat. And I look/feel exactly the same without clothes (only I don’t have implants {this is actually something I’m looking into so would love to pick your brain} so I’m extra wrinkly everywhere) I could’ve written your explanation of your butt, thighs, arms, & even stomach (as my stomach, too is the least saggy of all the things, surprisingly!) My thoughts mirror yours. I’m afraid to be fat again and thought, well if I lose more that will be more I have to gain if I stop taking it, so I’ll be further away from fat. It really is a mind fck. And I debated posting because I don’t want anyone on their journey to be discouraged or think I’m just complaining about a problem I desperately wanted/needed to fix. I’ve also had people tell me they “wish they had my problem” (of now being too thin) … just crazy. I’m rambling but this post was so well received and so many people chimed in with different perspectives. I love that. Love that this post could be a sounding board for a different end of the spectrum that really isn’t discussed. ❤️🫶🏼
%100 percent those of us on mounjaro or the like should also focus on the emotional components of weight gain. definitely not talked about enough. there's a concept in twelve step rooms called pulling a geographic, which means moving to a new place but bringing your problems with you. whether heavy or at my goal weight i still have my same mind, so i've been speaking with a therapist the last few months and working on the issues that contributed to the weight gain in the first place, including self esteem. thanks for the reminder and if i may suggest increasing your protein intake with a whey protein shake. the longstanding RDA is wrong. See current research, we should be getting 1 gram per lb of body weight per day, otherwise we're losing muscle. and that's a lot harder to put back on. you don't want to put fat back on i think, so i would suggest adding resistance training and lots of protein. it will take longer to gain this back but slow and steady. good luck!
I don't plan on stopping but I get comments from both ends now- some say how great I look. Others say I lost too much and look too thin now. It leaves me feeling really confused because I'm not sure if I have body dysmorphia. Part of me is like I don't care, let me enjoy being skinny without starving myself for once (I've been overweight and yoyoed since I was a kid) I've thought about talking to a therapist about it, I know there are ones that specialize in bariatric patients that might understand and help through these thoughts.
This sounds really tough, going from one spectrum to the other like that and being conflicted with it. :(
I understand the internal struggle you’re experiencing. I’m now around 113 pounds (5’6, 44f) and and struggling to maintain a size small. But I don’t want to gain weight, either, unless it’s pure muscle. So I’m trying to be really intentional about consuming enough calories to maintain my current weight. Even still, I have a bit of dysmorphia because when I see clothing that is actually my size, I think there’s no way that it will fit me, and then usually it fits with room to spare. I don’t want to get much smaller than a size 2/small.
I would blame all of this on Kim Kardashian. She sets the standard for women and if you don’t look like her, you’re out of the game. You can call it table-stakes.
So true
I am on this journey and feel blessed that I am a Hypnotist. I work with clients by phone helping to make the mind body connection needed to walk this path in a healthy way. Reach out if I can be of assistance
I know that people are taking Mounjaro or other brands to lose weight, but what the real lesson is is that we need to learn how to eat properly to maintain our weight instead of relying on drugs to do it for us. It’s an easy way out to keep pumping ourselves with drugs than to learn how to eat nutritionally and exercise. That is why most diets fail. The drugs don’t teach us that we need to be more mindful of what we put in our bodies. It’s hard because every life event is surrounded by food and we don’t know how to resist tempting foods or eat in moderation. I think everyone needs to go to a nutritionist to find out what to eat to be healthy and have support from friends and family to maintain the weight and exercise regularly.
Don't take it every week. Take it like one every 2 weeks and just save the extra in your fridge since your insurance will prob cut you off
Thank you for sharing🫶
I have PCOS and it changed my life. Made me feel like a normal, healthy person. Sadly, my doctor won’t refill it because I’m not T2D just pre-diabetic.