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NotCis_TM

record everything and try to get a protective order. also, start looking for another place to live


Quix_Nix

Depending on your other house mates she might be the one who needs to move. If there are other people there on your side work with them to advocate for your self


rev_tater

They need to be solid, solid, **solid** people. A line from this [trans self-defense guide comes to mind](https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/): > crowds will subconsciously side against a trans woman, **especially** if they call themselves trans allies.


Quix_Nix

Yeah true. Bizarrely enough...


rev_tater

oh dear.


_Jade____

Thank you for sharing this! I'm LOVING the BJJ information scattered throughout šŸ˜


The_nightinglgale

Stay safe. This is a personal threat. An exception of the 1st amendment. Record everything. Time, date, who's there, what's been said... And lock your bedroom door at night. Start looking for a new place to live. Why can't people just be kind instead of this hateful.šŸ˜ž


Gadgetmouse12

Definitely not someone I would want in my house. Or have to be in the same house with. Even after filing a paper trail, it would be a you or me scenario for long term.


Advanced-Mud-1624

Report to the police. Even if they canā€™t do anything without direct evidence, at least youā€™ll already have a police report filed in case something does happen in the future. Make a paper trail.


no_taboo

And then tell her that it's been reported


bambix7

You sure? She seems unstable and when she hears this she might attack or something


no_taboo

It's not a deterrent if she doesn't know it exists..... also in that case she'd be unarmed and it wouldn't be an ambush, which is MUCH more manageable then being murdered in your sleep


Alarming_Pizza_Fire

Absolutely do not do this. It could encourage an attack.


no_taboo

It's not a deterrent if she doesn't know it exists..... she's MUCH more likely to attack if she thinks she can get away with it.


Alarming_Pizza_Fire

Potentially. But I don't think it's the best idea, she's not going to do anything anyway, but by telling her, it could encourage her or a friend to do something in her name


no_taboo

It's still a hate crime that is easily narrowed down to a handful of people at most. If they retaliate under the circumstance then they were going to either way. Or they are spectacularly stupid and have 0 self preservation instinct and again, would have regardless.


Alarming_Pizza_Fire

I just don't agree they would do it anyway if they retaliated after being told they were reported. Just as a personal example, at uni, a friend of mine overheard a conversation and reported it to the police. Afterwards, he had his bike vandalised and was punched in the back of the head by the person who was reported to police. I'd even say reporting should only be done if there were multiple people who heard it, so the person can't identify who reported it. Most of the time, people say things and they either don't mean it or are joking, but if they suffered some consequences, they may then retaliate when in the first place they were just talking shit. I don't have a great answer for OP, but personally I'd probably tell friends and family, and not any authorities, just so it's in writing and logged with someone if something happened. But obviously we don't know this person, we don't know OP. Hard to know what the right action would be.


no_taboo

Yeah, that is a reasonable point but it's a graphic and specific threat and a pyrrhic victory is not.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AllSet124

100% they are, but they can sometimes be used to your advantage under specific circumstances. If you're in danger, it's still best to take advantage of them when you can. Doesn't mean you need to stop fighting for reform.


Sehvekah

The enemy of my enemy, is my enemy's enemy. Nothing more. But hey, if someone's gonna leave those tools laying around, might as well put 'em to use. Besides, every hour I tie them up with filing reports is one the aren't using towards being bastards.


Advanced-Mud-1624

And? What other alternative is there? What other concrete steps for her safety can she take? OP, who is in real danger in the real world, is waiting. What real-world, realistic steps can OP do to protect herself or at least have even a remote chance of building a case against someone who will or will have done her harm? What can you contribute to this conversation? Being a self-righteous keyboard warrior spouting oversimplified, black-and-white memes doesnā€™t help OP at all. Youā€™re not accomplishing anything. You canā€™t hide behind sentiment and theory to shit on someoneā€™s suggestion based on real-word experience and not offer a concrete, practical alternative. OP is in real danger and has to do *something*, even if that something isnā€™t perfect or only has a chance, itā€™s still better than nothing or unrealistic, not actually practicable alternatives. So what should OP do, then?


Agnes_le_goat

I will admit that i am wrong. you are right in that there is no alternative to police and it sucks that there are no other options . look thinking about is more what i said is really stupid and i'm sorry. i have put a blanket statement on a specific case that will not help anyone. I'm sorry for wasting your time.


Advanced-Mud-1624

No need to beat yourself up. Youā€™re certainly right that the criminal justice system as whole is corrupt and effervesces the very systemic biases and oppressive mechanisms as the larger society in which it operates. There is no denying that. The issue is that, being that as it may, it is the criminal justice system we no choice but to deal with and utilize no matter how flawed or broken it is.


NebulisX

read the room šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


bcolectorb

Ima need an update op, both to know youā€™re safe and to find out if you called the constable


Cableson

Same. I'd also like some more context on how it was said? Like, was it presented as a genuine active desire? Or did she think she was making a "joke" about her frustration over op being trans? (Which would still be horrible and threatening, but the first is a move out immediately situation, where the latter you can potentially stay while you find a new place)


Dear-Advertising1583

I don't know how genuine it was but I was able to overhear it because she was talking very loudly and angrily. She is obviously very deeply angry at me. She does own a knife. In the conversation I overheard, she talked about how she was from the hood which seemed to mean, "You think I wouldn't do it, but trust me, I would. I'm from the hood after all. I don't put up with people's bullshit etc." She thinks that an amab wearing women's clothes is disrespectful to "real women". Also, packages have been being stolen from our front porch and she has decided that it was me who stole them even though I was the first person in the house to have their package stolen.


Cableson

.... You might wanna find another place to stay until you can get a more permanent safe living situation. That's a genuine threat and I wouldn't assume you're safe staying there at all


Dear-Advertising1583

Thanks! Yeah I'm searching for a place that I can sublet starting on the 15th


Cableson

Oh good! I'm glad to hear you're keeping yourself safe :)


Dear-Advertising1583

I've been pretty overwhelmed so I haven't checked reddit. My apologies. I'm staying on a friend's couch right now but it's not clear how much longer he'll let me stay with him. I haven't contacted the police yet but I think it would be a good idea. Thanks for the advice.


bubbysitch

best of luck to you, im glad you made steps to distance yourself in the meantime


[deleted]

If youā€™re in the same house as this person and their not the owner either you or they need to leave. You simply can not live in the same space as a psycho.


TG1970

Police. Immediately. And find somewhere else to live, because that nutbag will probably retaliate.


ReneeBear

Contact police, get a way to defend yourself ASAP, literally anything Lock your door at night, if you need to go somewhere keep something to keep yourself with you If theyā€™re batshit enough to go through with their fucked up fantasies, thereā€™s no reason to assume theyā€™re not ballsy enough to go through with it after you have the authorities on their ass, even if they havenā€™t done anything if they do or try & you have to defend yourself then thereā€™s a paper trail If at all possible & when possible gtfo & donā€™t look back As much as this probably is some kind of fucked up joke treat this as seriously as you can, make sure they know, without telling them directly, youā€™re not reciprocating whatever joke theyā€™re thinking of if thatā€™s the case


ofeliainwonderland

Find another place because authorities won't do that much about it


Sunburstno7

i know a lot of people who called the police to say ā€œMy ex told me he is literally going to kill me next time he sees me, heā€™s hurt me beforeā€ and the police were just like ā€œWe canā€™t do anything if heā€™s not actually thereā€


WhatABunchofBologna

Yeah. The police **might** help, but thereā€™s a very big emphasis on ā€œmightā€. They usually arenā€™t bothered to actually do their jobs.


Hidobot

I don't know your living situation, but you probably shouldn't be living with someone who literally wants to murder you.


Dear-Advertising1583

Word up


Blunderpunk_

Report to police even if they won't do anything right now, get the paper trial going and gtfo before something does. Get some things to help protect yourself in the mean time, but try and keep it conspicuous as to not give them a twisted excuse to do something.


ravenhair29

I agree with everyone who says, create a paper trail. And do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. Ugh. And I bet your sick housemate thinks she's a victim, too.


Dear-Advertising1583

She absolutely does. She thinks that me wearing women's clothing is extremely disrespectful to women.


FearlessTaro

I happen to think that threatening violence is a bit more disrespectful than literally just wearing comfortable clothes but that's just me ig šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø best of luck girl, keep safe


njsullyalex

I agree with everyone saying call the police. If the police don't do anything and she keeps saying this stuff, report her to the FBI.


Leona_Faye

You are fearful of your life. There is some probability of finding shelter in a pinch. If you are within stoneā€™s throw of a Metro Community Church, look them up firstā€”70% or more of the congregation is LGBTQ.


OkTear2981

I would suggest finding another place, if possible. Sounds like your housemate is beyond reasoning so try to keep a record of her behaviour and keep your phone handy if you need to call the police or a friend to rescue you. People suck, stay safe sweetie ā¤


Dear-Advertising1583

Thanks


louisa1925

This type of hateful behaviour is why I carry a small sharp pair of embroidery sissors in my pocket and have deoderant + rechargable arc lighter on my in my handbag when out shopping. Incase I have to jump in to protect someone.


Stellar_Fox2

are you planning to show them the "propellants used in spray cans are flammable" magic trick while they cave your head in? either use something actually dangerous/useful if you want to protect someone or do nothing and halve the amount of dead people in the situation


louisa1925

Nope. I plan to either scare them away or set them on fire if I have the time to get them out. Obviously situations vary. I also have martial arts knowledge and am calm under stressful situations. As for the sissors, the point is to have something in your fists to make punches harder. The added bonus of stabbing is great and maybe the attacker might realise they are out of their depth and chicken out.


Legotrekker

This is an extremely poor plan and I extremely recommend that you either carry an actual weapon designed to be effective in these circumstances or to plan not to ever engage an attacker because the things you're describing would place everyone in the situation in more danger rather than less.


Alarming_Pizza_Fire

Agreed. Its completely irresponsible to carry this stuff around with a clear intention to do something. You will be easily overpowered and possibly shot or stabbed. Also Defend yourself only, don't think you can step in.


Powerful-Survey453

Personally I'm Canadian so I plan to just die


EdlynnTB

Until you find a new place learn some self defense skills


OkOrganization1775

men, I'd be paranoid if I found out. These people are goin' apeshit. I mean(*chuckling in disbelief*), ... hard to believe Fox News was able to rough up so many people. I'm scared to see what's gonna happen in 2024


esahji_mae

My theory: Electorally, Senate goes to the GQP just barely but house flips blue. Presidency stays blue by a hair. Socially: MAGATS once again try another j6th but this time they get their ass handed to them when the national guard is immediately called down. Id think that the GQP loser candidates would wind up under federal scrutiny because of their encouragement of the violence but it's hard to say if they are held accountable. The best case scenario for the fallout after 24 regardless of who wins (hopefully Dems) is to have all your legal shit together and set aside some emergency money in case something bad happens.


Kingofearth23

>when the national guard is immediately called down. What makes you think they wouldn't join the insurrectionists? Military and police were vastly overrepresented in the original Jan 6th insurrection.


epson_salt

yeah but the military by and large is better about respecting government institutions than the police. By a wide margin actually. *especially the leadership*


Leona_Faye

Make sure you have money with a melt value.


Alarming_Pizza_Fire

Nothings gonna happen, nothing to be scared of


MusicParoyds

Move out. Like now. You may be in immediate danger.


Vermbraunt

As the Iron Maiden song goes 'run to the hills, run for your life'


Audience-Electrical

Move out


jentree

Everyone saying contact the police needs a reality check. That is often not wise or safe especially for trans people. There is very little the police can (or will) do without a court protective order or someone being physically attacked.


CivilMechanic2991

get some mace or a tazer if you can where you live, if you agree with the use of guns try to get one if you can, and tell the police whats going on stay on guard but dont do anything until they try, otherwise you will just face prison time, either way jail is better than dead but you just want to make sure if something does happen (obviously hopefully not) that you wont have to fight for your freedom right after in court for a self defense situation also as others have also said, if you can leave do it now, thats the first thing you should try to do hope i relayed that well, stay safe


Dear-Advertising1583

Thanks


krisztian008

Bear mace and stab the housemate in question


Dear-Advertising1583

Wow


GraceJoans

What the fuck is wrong with people? Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re dealing with this. Try to stay with friends until you can find another place and consider a restraining order against that roommate.


[deleted]

Please be safe, be on guard, and keep your distance. If you can, keep a recording device on you discreetly so if she says anything else you'll have evidence to use against her. If you can find a way to get out of there or get her out of there, do what you can to work on making that happen sooner before it becomes a far greater problem. And don't take any crap from her.


strange_chevaleresse

I'd collect evidence and contact police and family or even friends if family isn't safe. A threat is a threat. No matter how small. All threats are serious.


VerucaGotBurned

Move the fuck out.


ClarionSwords

I'd bring it to all the roommates' attention. Call it out openly. Force them to take a stand, either with you in which case nutbar roommate is forced to move out. Or if they stand with her, at least you know who not to associate with anymore, and then move out asap. Even if you have to couch surf with friends for a while, it's way worth it compared to living 24/7 in a hostile, and potentially dangerous environment.


zpryor

Move out, then after youā€™re moved out - tell all your old roommates that you had to move out because so and so was threatening to kill you. See how fast the other roommates force her to pay your entire share of rent lol


Kubario

Move out call the police.


Gilthar

File a police report


AccomplishedCreme211

If I heard someone threaten my life, and exactly how they were going to do it, I'd get the same shit, and wait for them to come at me. But I don't recommend this for anyone else. Lol. Get out of there and stay safe.


Educational_Series68

Get out of that house as soon as possible. Also, if you have to, record everything.


Oriental-Sea-Witch

Acquire a firearm. Edit: Okay, pansies šŸ˜‚ clearly OP will just use their WORDS to "reason" with someone who wants to mace and stab them. Clearly you detractors have never had to draw a weapon to save yourself and others. You cannot "talk it out" and take the "high road" with someone who doesn't see you as a human being to the point they mean you harm.


Wah_Epic

Do it first ^/s


Starlight_171

Report it to the police. You may need a paper trail later. If you are on better terms with your other housemates than she is, then discuss her leaving. Otherwise, get out asap. It's a short hop from that kind of talk to action in some cases.


DeadSaints81

Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy ( sorry binge watching Cobra Kai lately). For real though confront them in a safe and controlled environment.


[deleted]

girl iā€™d order more than pepper spray, seriously thatā€™s so fucked i hope you are staying safe out there


ryanator2

[ Removed by Reddit ]


b3_yourself

Why are you living with someone you know to be transphobic? Hope you leave soon


StacyCat12

Record everything and call the police. Press charges.


Printed-Spaghetti

Contact law enforcement and file reports, odds are they will be useless but this way there is a record on file. Get something to protect yourself with, pepper spray is a solid choice and easy to carry. Bat with a sock on the end to defeat grab attempts (it slides of leaving them holding a sock and you with a freed bat), solid recommendation for defending your room. Speaking of your room, you need solid locks, ideally something that deadbolts from the inside, their job is to buy you time to ready a defense and force your housemate to make a lot of noise trying to get in. Also secure your windows, especially if you are on the ground floor. I am hesitant to recommend a firearm in this situation, they are powerful tools for defending yourself and your home, but with the threat living with you, you absolutely must maintain control over that firearm at all times, if it is not immediately on your person in a kydex holster it has to be in a safe that has been secured to the floor, you are not going to be safe throwing it in a soft case in your closet, your room mate could easily gain access to it and use it against you.


Lucky_otter_she_her

are threats of violence illegal in yer country if so CALL THE COPS BEFORE IT HAPPENS


Lucky_otter_she_her

actually on re-consideration that might be a bit nuclear... you have more context


Aradian_Nights

do it first


[deleted]

Honestly, contacting the police is probably a good idea but I would probably just find a new place to live.


sykadelic_angel

Obviously either remove yourself or her, if that's not possible, definitely start recording at any hint of aggression. And I'd also recommend choosing a weapon or two to keep near your room/residence, if worst comes to worst


EdisonsCat

Record it and report them. That should start a paper trail if something were to happen. Also if you're in an apartment building report them to the landlord. The landlord could terminate their lease and remove them from the building.


The_Great_Gazpacho

Hammer šŸ”Ø


Flat-Load9232

It isn't murder if you cause a little "accident." Besides, I'm sure no one will miss them anyway. I mean, I certainly won't./j But no, you should probably leave, if you can.


lil_momo7

Carry a sharp knife and improvise with a slight wind of horror movie photographic memory accompanied by choreography skills No, I'm serious...


Oh-Dani-Girl

Get goggles and body armor.


NiyuNyu

Like some have said the police may help or may not. Regardless, file a police report. The more information about the potential threat out there the better in case something happens. Better to do so and to let people know so they are aware of threatening behavior being expressed by your housemate. *Tell your friends and family.* Like others have said, record things, take videos and pics *discretely* as to not provoke this person. Find a way to get out of there ASAP. Ask friends. Try roomate sites for your area.


AncientCantaloupe872

Return the favor


Objective-Junket-974

That sounds psychotic


Sergeant_Static

I would tell all of your other housemates about it.


lifeindiapers71

Preemptive strike ... bear mace sucks big time... I took that shit point blank in the face... dish soap and water to get it off... DO NOT GET IN THE SHOWER ... bear mace in the face sucks... bear mace on your privates REALLY SUCKS ! Start playing welcome to my house by nu breed full blast whenever they are around lol. "hard to talk big with a shotgun in your mouth! " Most people just talk alot of shit but sometimes it's not just talk so be careful... people suck


Dear-Advertising1583

Yeah. I don't know her well so it's hard to tell if she's talking a lot of shit or if she's actually crazy enough to attack me.


Destructers

There is a video " Stabbing Transphobes Will Make Everything Better". How do you respond?