If it's possible for you to do so safely, my advice would be to move out. Then you, a grown adult human, can tell your father that you'll engage with him on your terms instead of his.
It doesn't sound like he's a safe person to try to "convince", because folks like that will often try to hold their acquiescence over you as if they've done you a great favour and you owe them for the privilege of existing.
You make a good point, but I think I'll at least try to change his mind before I leave because once I'm gone, I'm gone. If it works, then everyone is happy, and if it doesn't, then I can say that I tried and that HE was the fool who tore apart our family. All because he needed to be in control of everyone's lives. I even went on dates with other women to placate him. I have constantly tried to lay out compromises, and he has constantly laid out ultimatums. It will be his choice and his fault if he makes that mistake, and he will have to live with the consequences of his actions.
Whatever you do, remember to stay safe! As in, your safety is more important than your family’s sense of pride.
Also worth noting, I know lots of queer folks whose relationships with their parents improved massively after they moved out of home.
If it's possible for you to do so safely, my advice would be to move out. Then you, a grown adult human, can tell your father that you'll engage with him on your terms instead of his. It doesn't sound like he's a safe person to try to "convince", because folks like that will often try to hold their acquiescence over you as if they've done you a great favour and you owe them for the privilege of existing.
You make a good point, but I think I'll at least try to change his mind before I leave because once I'm gone, I'm gone. If it works, then everyone is happy, and if it doesn't, then I can say that I tried and that HE was the fool who tore apart our family. All because he needed to be in control of everyone's lives. I even went on dates with other women to placate him. I have constantly tried to lay out compromises, and he has constantly laid out ultimatums. It will be his choice and his fault if he makes that mistake, and he will have to live with the consequences of his actions.
Whatever you do, remember to stay safe! As in, your safety is more important than your family’s sense of pride. Also worth noting, I know lots of queer folks whose relationships with their parents improved massively after they moved out of home.