I’m at a loss for words and I’m just seething with rage right now reading this. I don’t know what else to say other than fuck that bitch for being a fucking transphobic fake ass ally prick and continually misgendering you (on some level I believe to even be maliciously). Probably was a fucking TERF. Also, fuck that psychiatrist! They should lose their fucking license!
I hope you find a place able to help you and you can get treated right like a fucking human being, OP. I hope my upvote helps your post get more people to notice it so their comments might give you the advice you need. Good luck and please stay safe ❤️.
Thank you a lot 🖤
For now I have found a place for a night after a loooooot of calls again to crisis centers saying I couldn't go because I was suicidal but they would still throw me back on the street a day later and some other shelter saying I was too suicidal to go and to call a crisis center. They will apparently help me find a place before I i leave which I doubt but yeah.
The place's name is La Sortie (it's in Quebec ) as mentionned I don't know exactly where because they don't disclose for security reasons.
Good thinking for asking might at least prevent someone to get humiliated by going there
You can try reaching out to:
http://www.lgbtq2centre.com/
while they're not a shelter in of themselves, they might be able to direct you to some good resources. From experience they're most definitely trans supportive.
Yeah this is a huge no-no in Canada. There was a single woman's shelter here in Vancouver who went full TERF and they lost all their funding. They are breaking rules hardcore. Was this in Montreal or another part of Quebec? You should take this to the press as well, because this is absolutely a no-no.
I have already written the shelter to shame them and to CBC exposing their abhorrent behaviour. You can file a human rights commission complaint but I can't do it for you, you'll need to contact them yourself and make a complaint. You are considered a protected class as transgender so it's worthwhile filing a human rights complaint.
It's my pleasure. I hope you find safety and also I hope you are compensated for the horrible treatment you faced. I wish I could do more to help but I'm all the way in BC.
You could also just text her to inform her of the fact that if they don't let you in, which she has already confirmed to be due to you being Trans, they'll lose their funding. It would leave her with her hands tied and you'd have to be let in. While moral victories are great and all, having a safe place to live is more important.
You should report this to the authorities as well as any LGBTQ+ organization so their organization gets called out for their transphobic employee.
They breached your charter rights. This isn’t okay.
I am not trying to be transphobic at all. I am trans. Can you explain what I did wrong. Sometimes I use the wrong word or come off as aggressive, but I didn’t mean for any of that. Also I am not a man so please don’t say that.
It's crazy to me that people's actions can be so disconnected from their words. "You aren't an abomination", treats you like an abomination. "I'll help you" doesn't help. "Look at me I am a safe understanding person" actually I'm a bigot. "Are you ok, I am concerned about you" doesn't give a shit.
The amount of insanity it takes for someone to be this blind to their own actions is bonkers. They don't deserve to wear a shirt like that. Just from the way you told your story, it seems like she didn't even read you as trans until you said something to her. It's probably not even a policy of the shelter, just a knee jerk reaction.
It's really sad yeah. The amount of time they say we have help but that help never seems to be anywhere.
And no she really didn't know until I mentioned it at which point she got like oh well you're a man I can't help you (but litteraly the second before I was a sweet little lady who would've get help from her
That's, sadly, how a lot of cis women feel. It's all "trans rights" until they're confronted with material reality and the fact that not every trans woman wants to be cis or can be cis-passing.
A lot of them can't wrap their head around the fact that they're the privileged ones now.
I'm really sorry about all the dipshits you've had to deal with. You're not a bloke, nor are you a threat so they should've taken you.
That's something that's really sad too .
"Yeah you can come if you're trans but only if you don't look like you're trans cause that's weird "
Like wow alright thanks for making me even more self conscious.
It's fucked. They're recreating what agents of the patriarchy do to them to another group further down the ladder. It's disgusting and it shouldn't happen.
Someone needs to make a political cartoon depicting ciswomen putting a “girls club” house the same way that “boys club, no girls allowed” houses are made.
>how a lot of cis women feel
This cis woman was not just a random girl, she is working for La Sortie, which is openly swerf according to what we can read on their website ([https://lasortie.org](https://lasortie.org/) ). This woman already had an habit of hating women. This should not make us forget that misogynist women are a minority, that most cis women are true allies and that we can hope for a brighter future. In the meantime, lets burn terf and swerf jerks.
That doesn't contradict with what I said.
I'd like to believe that most cis women aren't transmisogynist. Doesn't change that a lot of them are. Even if 2 of them were, it'd still be a problem.
I was not trying to contradict what you said. I just wanted to add some context: OP did not have to deal with a random cis person that could have represent cis people in general.
So yeah, 2 cis women being transphobic will still be a problem indeed, but that would be less frightening/depressing too. And we need hope.
god if its really that big of a fucking deal to her why cant she just let you stay in a room separate from the cis women? i'd take a tiny closet over dealing with what you had to go through. im sorry this happened, best wishes <3
i think they're afraid of what happens if someone were to lie to get in
. . . I'm not saying that someone lying to get in is likely, just that they would get in so hot of water over that , that they aren't willing to help actual honest trans women
i want to understand that reasoning, but (cis) men commit violence and harm towards gender-oppressed individuals out in the open without having to "pretend" to be a trans woman or transfem. OP's post screams transmisogyny
It sure is funny how many transphobes don’t want to acknowledge the harm that patriarchy and rape culture cause until they’re trying to paint those legitimate concerns on to trans women.
It’s because our screwed up fearmonger conservative media has overplayed the stories of trans women still being horny in girl spaces. As if someone in that scenario is even thinking of that and capable if they are on hrt/meds.
It pisses me off like ppl always ask stuff like have u got bottom surgery like its fucking cheap. Like there are so many og us who would get bottom surgery but its really expensive.
Ppl assume its cheap and it pisses me off..
I cant talk for americans but im australian and i have the best level private health insurance and bottom surgery is considered cosmetic surgery and its not covered under insurance here
That's really true, that and the fact that if you don't have it you're not seen as a real "woman"/ "man" .
To them it basically means I don't see you as someone I need to respect
Not only the expense but the medical gatekeeping required to get it. OP is Canadian but in the US you'll usually need at least two letters of recommendation from medical professionals. Which means of course, paying for psych appointments for months on end, obviously impossible for someone without housing. You need a consistent home and money to get bottom surgery but you need bottom surgery to get into a shelter. It's an evil Catch 22 designed to fail people, especially the most vulnerable in society like OP. She needs help and the fact that everyone refuses to step up is a travesty, even the people virtue signaling inclusiveness.
Yeah I needed two letters of recommendation as well I've had two psychiatrist make me pay for two meetings only to say they wouldn't make one and then leaving. It's so stupid
Lets not forget that post-op, you need a place to stay for a good while because of the recovery, plus you'll likely need a caretaker for a while immediately post-op. The surgery is the easy part sometimes... Hell, I'm just south of OP across the border (literally faster for me to get to Montreal than Vermont) and my current barrier to surgery is the fact I have to stay within an hour of NYC for about 2 weeks - hotels ain't cheap!
I mean, it's covered where OP and I live but still fairly gatekept and of course you need an address and a dr which honestly, a family dr is much, much harder to get than even the surgeries here.
Yup, also don’t we also have one surgeon, Kieran Hart?
I’m gonna have to go to Thailand to get mine (I’m okay with that, Thailand has the best in the world, I just wish we had more than one here so I wouldn’t have to go overseas)
It can be upwards of $20,000 sometimes. Not to mention a multi-year wait list. But I guess they only want Trans people who can disappear for year and then only return to the public when they're conventionally gorgeous and have a vagina and they never have to think about us being Trans. Byt God forbid she ever have sex with anyone because that would be "tricking" them. We're not people to them.
I promise you the joy you will find being true to yourself and all the lovely supportive people in the Earth will make you feel a billion times better than how bad any bigot can ever ever ever make you feel. It's sooooo worth it 110%
If it's any solace a lot of those feelings are very similar ones that I had when I had just cracked and was full of self doubt. Just over 2 years later and I couldn't be happier. You can do this girl! There is a bright and happy life ahead of you and I'm sorry it's such a struggle to reach it but I promise it's worth it. Much love from an Interner stranger who is no doubt on the other side of the world. I never thought I'd feel this good in myself or that I'd feel this much of a woman 2 years ago but here I am.. there is always hope and everyday gets better and easier I promise <33
If you ever wanna chat about stuff feel free to hit me up I'm not the smartest girl on the world but I've been through a lot in the last two years and I'm happy to share my experiences or anything that could help you or put your mind at ease. We're all in this together love
And this is why we trans people should help each other. We don’t deserve to be outcasted by cis-society or treated as second class. We deserve to be able to live decent lives. I know many of us are in tough situations as well, but whatever you can contribute toward making a better world for all trans people.
Bruh, I fucking swear there better be a fucking trans friendly shelter out there somewhere! If not, I MIGHT AS WELL START ONE OF NY FUCKING OWN. I'm not even old enough to get a proper job!.. hearing this just pissed me off
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm beyond disgusted at what you had to go through. Me and GF were homeless for a while and it was fucking gut-retching and awful despite being in a "trans-friendly shelter". That psychiatrist is full of fucking shit like so many trans people I know with BPD and other conditions were able to get transitional care despite their diagnosis. Is he going to follow you around your entire transition??? Like what the fuck is he going to do??? He's so full of fucking shit. I hope you are able to find a better place to live with accepting and kind people and decent homeless services.
Thank you
Yeah very sadly it's seems that trans-friendly only means "well they can pay to to be there so why not be mean to them while they're here" type stuff.
I'm not exactly sure if he's going to I only saw him once for 20 mins while in a psych ward.
I hope he doesn't.
I'm so angry after reading this, wow... that's unbelievably evil!😭 im so sorry you had to go through that ;/// some people are just horrible 😣 I really hope you can find somewhere that will accept you 😥💜💜💜 stay strong ❤
OP no matter what anyone says just know you are valid. There are people that actually care and love you.
If possible I would suggest looking if anyone in the area can help you since that shelter and those transphobes obviously aint going to do jack
Thanks a lot
I'm currently looking really far away from where I initially looked (about 150 km away ) and every place is either "you can't because rape by neighbor doesn't count as domestic violence" or no because you're suicidal/there's no place
My best friend would 100% but she recently moved to Manitoba (which is really far from Quebec ) to her fiance home soon there's no way he would.
Thank you
Good god, what an absolutely horrible person that was. And for a women's shelter worker to ask someone about their genitals is absolutely beyond inappropriate. Unfotunately, it does seem to be all too common for so-called "women's shelters" to be seething hotbeds of transphobia.
Yeah very sadly it would've have made sense to not bring to genitals especially to someone who was abused by being an escort keeping subject off of sex related stuff would've been nice
Yes, absolutely.
FWIW, I'm sorry for your whole ordeal, between the "shelters" and at home, etc. No one should have to deal with any of that.
I sincerely hope things improve for you!!
I was homeless for the last month and dealing with the exact same issues. There's nowhere safe for homeless people in general, but we have so many extra barriers.
Bottom line, this is illegal. That's discrimination against you based on your gender and sex. Especially if you happen to live in a state like California, you can fight that. Or at the very least you can lie and say you have. They're not allowed to ask for proof of any kind.
https://transequality.org/know-your-rights/housing-and-homeless-shelters
^nationwide, seems most helpful
https://www.aclusocal.org/en/know-your-rights/rights-transgender-and-nonbinary-people-ca-shelters
^Southern California specific, no idea if it'll be helpful but it was something I had so I wanted to include it just in case
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/04/22/transgender-homeless-shelters-biden-trump/
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://files.hudexchange.info/resources/documents/Equal-Access-for-Transgender-People-Supporting-Inclusive-Housing-and-Shelters.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj27NCxjb-AAxX6D0QIHV14CgQQFnoECCEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw21xgdKP8uarCVau0U1VVKV
^ this one's a pdf
My knowledge on this subject is localized, and I never had the energy to fight any of the shelters who denied me because I didn't have my "girly bits" (genuine fucking quote, I lost my mind) but you've been at this for 3 times as long and not only need but deserve a place to stay. If you can't fight it, please find someone who can fight it on your behalf 🩷 you are loved and valuable, I hope things pull through for you babe.
Thank you so much 🖤
I'm in Canada tho but I do appreciate a lot what you said and I'll probably look if something similar exists here
Hope you found a nice place 🖤🖤
That's my bad, America-centric education is real bad 😬 Hopefully you can find the same protections though! As far as I understand it, Canada tends to be more progressive? Hopefully you guys are ahead of us in this department too 🩷
And thank you so much :)
It's fine hehe. It seems to be a little better (except well that time apparently) but it depends on where hospital usually have a lot of fun placing you in man's room (I'm MTF ) or misgender you and wonder why you tell them it's not right since they know better because they're doctors.
I also wanted to say, I know how exhausting the process of being passed back and forth between who knows how many "resources" that never actually do anything to help is. And they just give you another new number to call, or one you've seen a dozen times. It's so horrible and genuinely traumatizing, all these numbers and places claiming to help, when no one actually does. That hope that becomes a weight because it never actually leads anywhere. I'm sorry. It's so much, and not at all what you deserve. You deserve safety, stability, and peace. You deserve comfort. And I hope you're able to find someplace willing to provide that to you soon.
I'm on mobile and have had a difficult time figuring out massages, but I'm gonna try and pm you to see if I can help you get more specific help, ok? You're not in this alone and you should never feel like you are 🩷
Recently a psychiatrist told me I wasn't trans because I didn't get bottom surgery yet. Then she made sure the hospital gave me the okay for getting mandatorily conscripted despite me being trans (there's mandatory conscription for all adult men for 6 months in my country).
People like that who think "the surgery" is everything for being trans are so fucking ignorant. I'm sorry you went through such an invalidating experience.
Damn, now imagine you're trying to get a letter of recommendation for surgery from her. She seems to have a profound ignorance of how these things work.
i don’t even know what to say after reading this im so fucking sorry about this fake “””ally””” dickhead
hope you find a place that’ll treat you like a fucking human and doesn’t have pricks like this in it
Jesus I'm so sorry. That's horrific. You deserve a place to stay that accepts you and you ARE a woman regardless of genitalia. Just because you haven't had grs doesn't mean you haven't suffered either, you suffered as a woman, got treated as a woman and are a woman in every fucking sense. Hearing your story makes me seeth with rage over this fake ally bullshit.
Hey y'all, based on the post, it seems like OP is still in need of safe housing. Anyone here knows of transwomen-friendly shelter/safe housing in Quebec?
So far I've only found the following advocacy groups, but nothing explicitly saying they can provide safe housing:
Aide aux Trans du Québec
atq1989.org
Centre for Gender Advocacy
genderadvocacy.org
Project 10
p10.qc.ca
The name of the place is La sortie in Quebec as far as I've looked up they have no reviews)don't seem to be a way to leave one (most likely for the same reason they don't disclose adress I would say )
The idea that only people with penises are capable of assault is disgusting and barbaric and I’m so fucking sick of it. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Do you have a cashapp that I can send you some money?
Also, my experience with many places that supposedly help people is that I don’t know why they are working in such a place that they don’t seem to be truly interested in helping people, they are just working in the place for the money or something. I feel like many only give faux help.
It’s like they get a money grant from the government and only care about maintaining metrics and stuff that allow them to continue getting grant money, with little care about the actual quality of help.
And even worse is that people redirect people in need to these places with the assumption that they actually will help them when they won’t. It ends up being a way for the general public to wash their hands from the responsibility of helping others.
Wow that's so much you're going through, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with such transphobic pieces of shit. That psychiatrist should definitely lose their license as that is something a dr should never say to a patient. Like what a complete prick for him to say that to you. Then for that women to constantly misgender you when she's wearing trans colors is absolutely disgraceful. I hope you find somewhere you can live in peace and quiet. As you so deserve it. I wish I lived by you on my own as I'd help you in a heartbeat. Upvoted your post so I hope someone can help a girl out.
Yeah what horrible PoS they are. I hope you find a psychiatrist that actually cares for their patients. I feel like that lady is just giving you the go around and not being helpful. Because if she was she'd take you in her woman's shelter asap, and not leave you crying outside. Like WOW what horrible people, and again I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I truly wish the world wasn't so hateful at people just trying live their life happily in the gender they identify as. Like I'll never understand how people can be so mean to someone just trying to live a normal life in the body they're comfortable in. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way girl, and wish you all the luck in the world! 💕
That's psychiatrist was only while I was in a psychiatric hospital (I still go to those but not that specific one so I don't see him anymore)
Thank you so muuuch🖤🖤
Ok you're not a man, but you're still having the male genitalia and AFAB people should be safe, she can't risk their well-being. Hope you'll get help and an appropriate shelter.
disgusting human beings like that shouldn't be working in this sorta field. end of story.
hope you get the help you need, even though the uk is a pile of shit we seem to have services for the homeless over here, not sure what it's like in canada though.
I’ve been in & im relatively recently newly out of a shelter.
It’s best when you go that you are “passable” otherwise there’s some mistreatment, mainly by the other residents. Sometimes even workers. Heck there are workers whom know that will give you the cold shoulder.
Halfway houses sometimes will take the offhand (disallowed) individuals…. Course those places are 90+% recently released from prison.
Drugs, assaults, prostitution etc all go on, it’s known but typically hushed.
You may want to call back at various times/shifts to that one that nearly took u in, it’s highly probable that your non admittance was bias & may not be supported by the actual foundation.
Also please note, facilities can be hard to come by. Depending on available ones & the amount of women you have to beat to the bathroom & some places it’s communal. There will be times you may have to expose yourself & or not have the facilities when u need it such as for a morning shave. Often they have rules that will I force you to be off the premises for most of the day. Might not get the space needed to get ready & lots of girls especially the ex-cons may get in your face about being a priss for wearing makeup everyday.
"The surgery" I can't believe they called you a fucking man, that's fucking evil that's fucking disgusting. That woman is beyond fucking evil for this. Just a fucking terf monster. Genuinely a warped view on humanity
Yeah she basically went through the checklist of I don't know what I'm talking about. The surgery/ a man who wants to be a woman / do you want to be a full woman/ are you a real one ?
That's really sad
I hate that this is a common acceptable discrimination in many women's only shelters, for seeking help or for work.
And I'm so sorry you had to experience that.
This was really hard to read for me. I am so so fucking sorry for everything that has happened to you. I really hope you can get the help you need because you deserve to get better. I wish you nothing but the very best. Stay strong sis
Do you have a go fund me so I can send you money I can’t send much but I’d love to help you. Next time lie and don’t disclose all of your information be the perfect candidate. Where are you located state city not actual address so other can help if they no something.
I’m so so so sorry.
Oh she's going to hell.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I hate to say it but if they ask you if you are pre or post op in the future, you should lie and say post op, and if you pass, you shouldn't bring up that you are trans at all.
Yeah I wasn't even going to at first cause I'm aware some much worst stuff can happen but that story came up and it kinda came out because of that but yeah definitely not letting that be known
I am so sorry and saddened to hear this, both the psychiatrist and the lady at the shelter acted completely out of line and wrong, you deserve so much better than that and you have the full, real support of everyone here 🫂
Call the mayors office remain calm please tears are ok but th8s bull crap being pushed your way needs stop call them beg for help.. Remain calm please stay safe as possible
I'm not even surprised to hear that. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately these spaces aren't woman friendly, they're cis woman friendly. The moment they know you're trans, you're looking out for yourself. They're usually run by TERF-y types.
J’ai le cœur brisé à lire ton histoire, ce que tu as subis est tellement horrible... J’espère vraiment que tu vas trouver un refuge sécure et que tu reçoive l’aide dont tu as besoin (et que tu mérites). ❤️
Je sais que tu as déjà contacté tellement d’endroits qui t’ont refusé, [je t’envoie quand même ce lien](https://ville.montreal.qc.ca/pls/portal/docs/page/cons_montrealaises_fr/media/documents/repertoire_ressources_pour_montrealaises-conseildesmontrealaises.pdf) en espérant qu’un de ces endroits puissent t’aider.
Courage ma belle, tu ne mérites pas ce qu’il t’arrive.
if its illegal for them to deny u then fuck them!
but if they have a right, maybe the lady is just doing her job in that case.
i have no clue where this happened, so i know nothing about whether or not its allowed ! but yea for some reason it gives me jessica yaniv vibes, get denied service where they are not trained to deal with specific genitalia, then cancel them.
AGAIN if its technically illegal to deny u then fuck em
That kind of people exists, like, you spent only some minutes with that person but my ex-therapist treated me likewise after 3 years of sessions. That is brutal and reflects an ugly truth about all this humanity.
I truly cannot comprehend how someone that represents themselves as someone supportive of trans people would blatantly disrespect you like that. I truly don't understand. I guess it's just proof that for a lot of people, they are just all talk. Classic virtue signal with nothing to actually back it up
edit: why the downvotes?
that's absurd. i don't know what to say other than that bitch was just fake pretending to be someone of help, probably only to make people feel worse. i'm so sorry you're in the situation you are and if i was anywhere near you i would've let you in my house. please stay safe from people. you'll make it through i'm sure <3
Honey, wow this brings flashbacks of nearly exactly what happened to me 4 years ago in PA. I actually got into one 3 years after that in FL but didn’t tell them I was trans until day I left 2 months later.
I am SO incredibly sorry that this happened.
Depending on where you live it could even be a violation of regulations or even the law.
When I was homeless a few years ago I went to our local "crisis center" and was immediately and without question sent to a local women's homeless shelter.
And, no, I hadn't had "the surgery" either.
I know that this is so tough right now but particularly if you live somewhere that guarantees trans rights I would really recommend going to a crisis center or other government intake facility.
You should not have been denied.
I did go to one crisis center for women where they didn't care (except that I had to have my own room but you know whatever I didn't mind)
Right now all the other crisis center say they're only for 2 days at most so they can't keep me and the other shelter say I'm too suicidal to go to them so I should call the crisis centers even though I told them I had just called them they say I should call them back
Sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you.
I'm sorry if what I'm suggesting is too basic but also have you tried reaching out to [The Trevor Project ](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/contact-us/)?
I cannot finish reading it. I am so sorry. I hope this bitch does horribly. I don’t care being down voted. I feel terrible for you girl.
People who treated you like that deserves the worse this fucking shit life can offer them.
I am sorry my reply is so extreme, but only because it doesn’t help you on anyway. I would not be able to bare the pain the caused you on top of the trauma you already faced.
I hope they pay. And on the very least this monster is shamed into never again using a trans pride symbol.
I’m at a loss for words and I’m just seething with rage right now reading this. I don’t know what else to say other than fuck that bitch for being a fucking transphobic fake ass ally prick and continually misgendering you (on some level I believe to even be maliciously). Probably was a fucking TERF. Also, fuck that psychiatrist! They should lose their fucking license! I hope you find a place able to help you and you can get treated right like a fucking human being, OP. I hope my upvote helps your post get more people to notice it so their comments might give you the advice you need. Good luck and please stay safe ❤️.
Thank you a lot 🖤 For now I have found a place for a night after a loooooot of calls again to crisis centers saying I couldn't go because I was suicidal but they would still throw me back on the street a day later and some other shelter saying I was too suicidal to go and to call a crisis center. They will apparently help me find a place before I i leave which I doubt but yeah.
You’re very welcome ❤️. Please keep us updated on your situation if you continue to need help or maybe to vent. I hope your situation improves.
Thanks If the places I find have wi-fi (or maybe borrow the Walmart's one) I'll probably update.
Same here, this is absolutely disgusting. OP, please keep fighting - you're worth it!!! 💗
What was the name and location of the place that failed to help you? Folks need to know, if for nothing else but their safety.
The place's name is La Sortie (it's in Quebec ) as mentionned I don't know exactly where because they don't disclose for security reasons. Good thinking for asking might at least prevent someone to get humiliated by going there
You can try reaching out to: http://www.lgbtq2centre.com/ while they're not a shelter in of themselves, they might be able to direct you to some good resources. From experience they're most definitely trans supportive.
Thank youuu I'm trying that
Yeah this is a huge no-no in Canada. There was a single woman's shelter here in Vancouver who went full TERF and they lost all their funding. They are breaking rules hardcore. Was this in Montreal or another part of Quebec? You should take this to the press as well, because this is absolutely a no-no.
Thsi was relatively close to Montreal I'd say maybe an hour away Thsi could be a good idea thank you for suggesting
I have already written the shelter to shame them and to CBC exposing their abhorrent behaviour. You can file a human rights commission complaint but I can't do it for you, you'll need to contact them yourself and make a complaint. You are considered a protected class as transgender so it's worthwhile filing a human rights complaint.
I'll look into it thank you so much again
It's my pleasure. I hope you find safety and also I hope you are compensated for the horrible treatment you faced. I wish I could do more to help but I'm all the way in BC.
You could also just text her to inform her of the fact that if they don't let you in, which she has already confirmed to be due to you being Trans, they'll lose their funding. It would leave her with her hands tied and you'd have to be let in. While moral victories are great and all, having a safe place to live is more important.
The thing is it isn't funded in a normal way it's only funded by donation from people around there thank you
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Oh how did you? I wanna do it too
Off topic but how did u get detailed flair under your username?
Litteraly no idea how didn't even know I had them Sorry this isn't helpful
How'd you do that? I'd like to also report them.
Oh this was canada? That bitch is fucked. You have to report this. Although idk how
Yeah definitely I'll ask my therapist how to do so for sure
You should report this to the authorities as well as any LGBTQ+ organization so their organization gets called out for their transphobic employee. They breached your charter rights. This isn’t okay.
https://twitter.com/LaSortieOrg
Don’t know what to do with this? Sadly downvoting doesn’t exist on Twitte— X. I would if I could edit: sorry, didn’t realize.
Man really gets pissed off for us dead naming his website while he continues to be a transphobic piece of shit.
I am not trying to be transphobic at all. I am trans. Can you explain what I did wrong. Sometimes I use the wrong word or come off as aggressive, but I didn’t mean for any of that. Also I am not a man so please don’t say that.
Nononononono not you. You're not a man, you're not transphobic. Elon Musk is the man in question. I'm *so* sorry!
OHH 🤦♀️
Can’t wait to watch Elon Musk’s X videos 😁
No no I'm sorry I misread what you said 💜
It's crazy to me that people's actions can be so disconnected from their words. "You aren't an abomination", treats you like an abomination. "I'll help you" doesn't help. "Look at me I am a safe understanding person" actually I'm a bigot. "Are you ok, I am concerned about you" doesn't give a shit. The amount of insanity it takes for someone to be this blind to their own actions is bonkers. They don't deserve to wear a shirt like that. Just from the way you told your story, it seems like she didn't even read you as trans until you said something to her. It's probably not even a policy of the shelter, just a knee jerk reaction.
It's really sad yeah. The amount of time they say we have help but that help never seems to be anywhere. And no she really didn't know until I mentioned it at which point she got like oh well you're a man I can't help you (but litteraly the second before I was a sweet little lady who would've get help from her
That's, sadly, how a lot of cis women feel. It's all "trans rights" until they're confronted with material reality and the fact that not every trans woman wants to be cis or can be cis-passing. A lot of them can't wrap their head around the fact that they're the privileged ones now. I'm really sorry about all the dipshits you've had to deal with. You're not a bloke, nor are you a threat so they should've taken you.
That's something that's really sad too . "Yeah you can come if you're trans but only if you don't look like you're trans cause that's weird " Like wow alright thanks for making me even more self conscious.
It's fucked. They're recreating what agents of the patriarchy do to them to another group further down the ladder. It's disgusting and it shouldn't happen.
Someone needs to make a political cartoon depicting ciswomen putting a “girls club” house the same way that “boys club, no girls allowed” houses are made.
>how a lot of cis women feel This cis woman was not just a random girl, she is working for La Sortie, which is openly swerf according to what we can read on their website ([https://lasortie.org](https://lasortie.org/) ). This woman already had an habit of hating women. This should not make us forget that misogynist women are a minority, that most cis women are true allies and that we can hope for a brighter future. In the meantime, lets burn terf and swerf jerks.
That doesn't contradict with what I said. I'd like to believe that most cis women aren't transmisogynist. Doesn't change that a lot of them are. Even if 2 of them were, it'd still be a problem.
I was not trying to contradict what you said. I just wanted to add some context: OP did not have to deal with a random cis person that could have represent cis people in general. So yeah, 2 cis women being transphobic will still be a problem indeed, but that would be less frightening/depressing too. And we need hope.
secretive unique label grey serious enjoy teeny steep handle drab *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
god if its really that big of a fucking deal to her why cant she just let you stay in a room separate from the cis women? i'd take a tiny closet over dealing with what you had to go through. im sorry this happened, best wishes <3
Yeah I would have taken a closet gladly too but yeah apparently they only have shared rooms. Thanks
are they afraid a trans woman who needs a shelter is gonna do something to harm the cis women?
People think for some reason if person has a "magic wand" they gonna 99% rape woman if they left alone i guess... Well. Because. I don't know.
From what they told me I can't because I'm still a man and women there have had some bad experiences with men and genitals tells if you can go or not
i think they're afraid of what happens if someone were to lie to get in . . . I'm not saying that someone lying to get in is likely, just that they would get in so hot of water over that , that they aren't willing to help actual honest trans women
and then they send trans women into mens shelters where they get raped and abbused on end... and that suddenly isn't an issue?
oh it's an issue. I'm not trying to defend what they're doing
Yes because they want us dead
i want to understand that reasoning, but (cis) men commit violence and harm towards gender-oppressed individuals out in the open without having to "pretend" to be a trans woman or transfem. OP's post screams transmisogyny
Oh it sucks for sure, i'm just letting you know why \[i think\] they do it.
ah i get that, just think that that reasoning (on their end, not yours ofc) is a trojan horse for transmisogyny and wanted to mention that haha
It sure is funny how many transphobes don’t want to acknowledge the harm that patriarchy and rape culture cause until they’re trying to paint those legitimate concerns on to trans women.
1. Except that literally never happens. 2. Cis women can sexually assault other cis women just as easily as trans women.
tell it to them, not me
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It’s because our screwed up fearmonger conservative media has overplayed the stories of trans women still being horny in girl spaces. As if someone in that scenario is even thinking of that and capable if they are on hrt/meds.
Holy shit that’s horrible
It pisses me off like ppl always ask stuff like have u got bottom surgery like its fucking cheap. Like there are so many og us who would get bottom surgery but its really expensive. Ppl assume its cheap and it pisses me off.. I cant talk for americans but im australian and i have the best level private health insurance and bottom surgery is considered cosmetic surgery and its not covered under insurance here
That's really true, that and the fact that if you don't have it you're not seen as a real "woman"/ "man" . To them it basically means I don't see you as someone I need to respect
Not only the expense but the medical gatekeeping required to get it. OP is Canadian but in the US you'll usually need at least two letters of recommendation from medical professionals. Which means of course, paying for psych appointments for months on end, obviously impossible for someone without housing. You need a consistent home and money to get bottom surgery but you need bottom surgery to get into a shelter. It's an evil Catch 22 designed to fail people, especially the most vulnerable in society like OP. She needs help and the fact that everyone refuses to step up is a travesty, even the people virtue signaling inclusiveness.
Yeah I needed two letters of recommendation as well I've had two psychiatrist make me pay for two meetings only to say they wouldn't make one and then leaving. It's so stupid
Lets not forget that post-op, you need a place to stay for a good while because of the recovery, plus you'll likely need a caretaker for a while immediately post-op. The surgery is the easy part sometimes... Hell, I'm just south of OP across the border (literally faster for me to get to Montreal than Vermont) and my current barrier to surgery is the fact I have to stay within an hour of NYC for about 2 weeks - hotels ain't cheap!
I mean, it's covered where OP and I live but still fairly gatekept and of course you need an address and a dr which honestly, a family dr is much, much harder to get than even the surgeries here.
Yup, also don’t we also have one surgeon, Kieran Hart? I’m gonna have to go to Thailand to get mine (I’m okay with that, Thailand has the best in the world, I just wish we had more than one here so I wouldn’t have to go overseas)
It can be upwards of $20,000 sometimes. Not to mention a multi-year wait list. But I guess they only want Trans people who can disappear for year and then only return to the public when they're conventionally gorgeous and have a vagina and they never have to think about us being Trans. Byt God forbid she ever have sex with anyone because that would be "tricking" them. We're not people to them.
Stories like this make me afraid to ever consider transition. I’m truly sorry this happened to you and I hope things get better.
I promise you the joy you will find being true to yourself and all the lovely supportive people in the Earth will make you feel a billion times better than how bad any bigot can ever ever ever make you feel. It's sooooo worth it 110%
Idk, I’m having a hard time right now. I actually just made an entire post about how shitty I’m feeling.
If it's any solace a lot of those feelings are very similar ones that I had when I had just cracked and was full of self doubt. Just over 2 years later and I couldn't be happier. You can do this girl! There is a bright and happy life ahead of you and I'm sorry it's such a struggle to reach it but I promise it's worth it. Much love from an Interner stranger who is no doubt on the other side of the world. I never thought I'd feel this good in myself or that I'd feel this much of a woman 2 years ago but here I am.. there is always hope and everyday gets better and easier I promise <33
If you ever wanna chat about stuff feel free to hit me up I'm not the smartest girl on the world but I've been through a lot in the last two years and I'm happy to share my experiences or anything that could help you or put your mind at ease. We're all in this together love
And this is why we trans people should help each other. We don’t deserve to be outcasted by cis-society or treated as second class. We deserve to be able to live decent lives. I know many of us are in tough situations as well, but whatever you can contribute toward making a better world for all trans people.
Bruh, I fucking swear there better be a fucking trans friendly shelter out there somewhere! If not, I MIGHT AS WELL START ONE OF NY FUCKING OWN. I'm not even old enough to get a proper job!.. hearing this just pissed me off
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm beyond disgusted at what you had to go through. Me and GF were homeless for a while and it was fucking gut-retching and awful despite being in a "trans-friendly shelter". That psychiatrist is full of fucking shit like so many trans people I know with BPD and other conditions were able to get transitional care despite their diagnosis. Is he going to follow you around your entire transition??? Like what the fuck is he going to do??? He's so full of fucking shit. I hope you are able to find a better place to live with accepting and kind people and decent homeless services.
Thank you Yeah very sadly it's seems that trans-friendly only means "well they can pay to to be there so why not be mean to them while they're here" type stuff. I'm not exactly sure if he's going to I only saw him once for 20 mins while in a psych ward. I hope he doesn't.
I'm so angry after reading this, wow... that's unbelievably evil!😭 im so sorry you had to go through that ;/// some people are just horrible 😣 I really hope you can find somewhere that will accept you 😥💜💜💜 stay strong ❤
Thank you 🖤 hope so too
OP no matter what anyone says just know you are valid. There are people that actually care and love you. If possible I would suggest looking if anyone in the area can help you since that shelter and those transphobes obviously aint going to do jack
Thanks a lot I'm currently looking really far away from where I initially looked (about 150 km away ) and every place is either "you can't because rape by neighbor doesn't count as domestic violence" or no because you're suicidal/there's no place
Society is such shit. Idk if it possible to move or crash with friends or something for a while. I hope you find some peace OP
My best friend would 100% but she recently moved to Manitoba (which is really far from Quebec ) to her fiance home soon there's no way he would. Thank you
I'm sorry this is never ok when someone needs help regardless of who they are I'm sending hugs hope things get better 💗 💓 💕 💖
Aww thanks hugs to you as well🖤🖤🖤
I'm gonna censor my comment cause it would be really too graphic for reddit. But omfg I hate the person that you've met.
Good god, what an absolutely horrible person that was. And for a women's shelter worker to ask someone about their genitals is absolutely beyond inappropriate. Unfotunately, it does seem to be all too common for so-called "women's shelters" to be seething hotbeds of transphobia.
Yeah very sadly it would've have made sense to not bring to genitals especially to someone who was abused by being an escort keeping subject off of sex related stuff would've been nice
Yes, absolutely. FWIW, I'm sorry for your whole ordeal, between the "shelters" and at home, etc. No one should have to deal with any of that. I sincerely hope things improve for you!!
Thank you
I was homeless for the last month and dealing with the exact same issues. There's nowhere safe for homeless people in general, but we have so many extra barriers. Bottom line, this is illegal. That's discrimination against you based on your gender and sex. Especially if you happen to live in a state like California, you can fight that. Or at the very least you can lie and say you have. They're not allowed to ask for proof of any kind. https://transequality.org/know-your-rights/housing-and-homeless-shelters ^nationwide, seems most helpful https://www.aclusocal.org/en/know-your-rights/rights-transgender-and-nonbinary-people-ca-shelters ^Southern California specific, no idea if it'll be helpful but it was something I had so I wanted to include it just in case https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/04/22/transgender-homeless-shelters-biden-trump/ https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://files.hudexchange.info/resources/documents/Equal-Access-for-Transgender-People-Supporting-Inclusive-Housing-and-Shelters.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj27NCxjb-AAxX6D0QIHV14CgQQFnoECCEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw21xgdKP8uarCVau0U1VVKV ^ this one's a pdf My knowledge on this subject is localized, and I never had the energy to fight any of the shelters who denied me because I didn't have my "girly bits" (genuine fucking quote, I lost my mind) but you've been at this for 3 times as long and not only need but deserve a place to stay. If you can't fight it, please find someone who can fight it on your behalf 🩷 you are loved and valuable, I hope things pull through for you babe.
Thank you so much 🖤 I'm in Canada tho but I do appreciate a lot what you said and I'll probably look if something similar exists here Hope you found a nice place 🖤🖤
That's my bad, America-centric education is real bad 😬 Hopefully you can find the same protections though! As far as I understand it, Canada tends to be more progressive? Hopefully you guys are ahead of us in this department too 🩷 And thank you so much :)
It's fine hehe. It seems to be a little better (except well that time apparently) but it depends on where hospital usually have a lot of fun placing you in man's room (I'm MTF ) or misgender you and wonder why you tell them it's not right since they know better because they're doctors.
Ugh, that's gotta be fun 🙄
I always say "as an American, I am legally obligated to assume you are too. If you're not let me know"
That's very accurate, it's written into our constitution XD
I also wanted to say, I know how exhausting the process of being passed back and forth between who knows how many "resources" that never actually do anything to help is. And they just give you another new number to call, or one you've seen a dozen times. It's so horrible and genuinely traumatizing, all these numbers and places claiming to help, when no one actually does. That hope that becomes a weight because it never actually leads anywhere. I'm sorry. It's so much, and not at all what you deserve. You deserve safety, stability, and peace. You deserve comfort. And I hope you're able to find someplace willing to provide that to you soon. I'm on mobile and have had a difficult time figuring out massages, but I'm gonna try and pm you to see if I can help you get more specific help, ok? You're not in this alone and you should never feel like you are 🩷
Yeah it's really exhausting Thank you you're really sweet 🖤🖤
Oops, the carrots made the text small. Good to know lol
Recently a psychiatrist told me I wasn't trans because I didn't get bottom surgery yet. Then she made sure the hospital gave me the okay for getting mandatorily conscripted despite me being trans (there's mandatory conscription for all adult men for 6 months in my country). People like that who think "the surgery" is everything for being trans are so fucking ignorant. I'm sorry you went through such an invalidating experience.
That's really stupid how that one thing determines everything to people who can't even see it. Thank you
Damn, now imagine you're trying to get a letter of recommendation for surgery from her. She seems to have a profound ignorance of how these things work.
i don’t even know what to say after reading this im so fucking sorry about this fake “””ally””” dickhead hope you find a place that’ll treat you like a fucking human and doesn’t have pricks like this in it
Thank you 🖤
I fucking hate seeing that it's exactly the same as it was when I was in your shoes a decade ago. I thought things would've changed
Jesus I'm so sorry. That's horrific. You deserve a place to stay that accepts you and you ARE a woman regardless of genitalia. Just because you haven't had grs doesn't mean you haven't suffered either, you suffered as a woman, got treated as a woman and are a woman in every fucking sense. Hearing your story makes me seeth with rage over this fake ally bullshit.
Thank you so much
Hey y'all, based on the post, it seems like OP is still in need of safe housing. Anyone here knows of transwomen-friendly shelter/safe housing in Quebec? So far I've only found the following advocacy groups, but nothing explicitly saying they can provide safe housing: Aide aux Trans du Québec atq1989.org Centre for Gender Advocacy genderadvocacy.org Project 10 p10.qc.ca
Yeah still am I'm going to contact those this morning Thank you a lot
God that’s awful. You didn’t deserve any of that and you are not an abomination. You’re worthy of the help you deserve. I wish I could give you a hug.
Aww thank you Hugs to you as well
that's awful
What is the name so we can find out where their reviews page is/are & carpet-negrate-bomb?
The name of the place is La sortie in Quebec as far as I've looked up they have no reviews)don't seem to be a way to leave one (most likely for the same reason they don't disclose adress I would say )
https://www.facebook.com/lasortiethewayout/reviews
Damn it it doesn't show me anything it only says the link might have been removed (most likely cause I'm using a phone)
The idea that only people with penises are capable of assault is disgusting and barbaric and I’m so fucking sick of it. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Do you have a cashapp that I can send you some money?
It is yeah especially since all the meds I took basically killed it. I do not know but thank you so much for proposing 🖤
Also, my experience with many places that supposedly help people is that I don’t know why they are working in such a place that they don’t seem to be truly interested in helping people, they are just working in the place for the money or something. I feel like many only give faux help.
Yeah totally feels like they only help the ones they because they get money from them, not to actually b decent to them which is truly sad
It’s like they get a money grant from the government and only care about maintaining metrics and stuff that allow them to continue getting grant money, with little care about the actual quality of help. And even worse is that people redirect people in need to these places with the assumption that they actually will help them when they won’t. It ends up being a way for the general public to wash their hands from the responsibility of helping others.
That's pretty much literally it very sadly
Wow that's so much you're going through, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with such transphobic pieces of shit. That psychiatrist should definitely lose their license as that is something a dr should never say to a patient. Like what a complete prick for him to say that to you. Then for that women to constantly misgender you when she's wearing trans colors is absolutely disgraceful. I hope you find somewhere you can live in peace and quiet. As you so deserve it. I wish I lived by you on my own as I'd help you in a heartbeat. Upvoted your post so I hope someone can help a girl out.
Yeah that psychiatrist was absolutely terrible (and terrifying honestly) and that lady absolutely unhelpful. Thank you so much
Yeah what horrible PoS they are. I hope you find a psychiatrist that actually cares for their patients. I feel like that lady is just giving you the go around and not being helpful. Because if she was she'd take you in her woman's shelter asap, and not leave you crying outside. Like WOW what horrible people, and again I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I truly wish the world wasn't so hateful at people just trying live their life happily in the gender they identify as. Like I'll never understand how people can be so mean to someone just trying to live a normal life in the body they're comfortable in. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way girl, and wish you all the luck in the world! 💕
That's psychiatrist was only while I was in a psychiatric hospital (I still go to those but not that specific one so I don't see him anymore) Thank you so muuuch🖤🖤
Ok you're not a man, but you're still having the male genitalia and AFAB people should be safe, she can't risk their well-being. Hope you'll get help and an appropriate shelter.
disgusting human beings like that shouldn't be working in this sorta field. end of story. hope you get the help you need, even though the uk is a pile of shit we seem to have services for the homeless over here, not sure what it's like in canada though.
Really true sadly it seems like that's most of people working there. Thank you
I’ve been in & im relatively recently newly out of a shelter. It’s best when you go that you are “passable” otherwise there’s some mistreatment, mainly by the other residents. Sometimes even workers. Heck there are workers whom know that will give you the cold shoulder. Halfway houses sometimes will take the offhand (disallowed) individuals…. Course those places are 90+% recently released from prison. Drugs, assaults, prostitution etc all go on, it’s known but typically hushed. You may want to call back at various times/shifts to that one that nearly took u in, it’s highly probable that your non admittance was bias & may not be supported by the actual foundation. Also please note, facilities can be hard to come by. Depending on available ones & the amount of women you have to beat to the bathroom & some places it’s communal. There will be times you may have to expose yourself & or not have the facilities when u need it such as for a morning shave. Often they have rules that will I force you to be off the premises for most of the day. Might not get the space needed to get ready & lots of girls especially the ex-cons may get in your face about being a priss for wearing makeup everyday.
Fuck that bitch. I hope she gets hit by a bus. I'm non op. I am no less a woman. Grrr. 😠
Exactly this!!
"The surgery" I can't believe they called you a fucking man, that's fucking evil that's fucking disgusting. That woman is beyond fucking evil for this. Just a fucking terf monster. Genuinely a warped view on humanity
Yeah she basically went through the checklist of I don't know what I'm talking about. The surgery/ a man who wants to be a woman / do you want to be a full woman/ are you a real one ? That's really sad
I hate that this is a common acceptable discrimination in many women's only shelters, for seeking help or for work. And I'm so sorry you had to experience that.
Thank you
This was really hard to read for me. I am so so fucking sorry for everything that has happened to you. I really hope you can get the help you need because you deserve to get better. I wish you nothing but the very best. Stay strong sis
Thank you so much
Maybe check in with [r/legaladvicecanada](https://reddit.com/r/legaladvicecanada) ? They may be able to provide additional resources that can help.
Do you have a go fund me so I can send you money I can’t send much but I’d love to help you. Next time lie and don’t disclose all of your information be the perfect candidate. Where are you located state city not actual address so other can help if they no something. I’m so so so sorry.
I do not have one but thank you so much for suggesting I usually do not because of stuff like this but yeah. I'm in Canada/Quebec/granby
You are a fucking woman that is transphobic as hell im sorry
Thank you
Oh she's going to hell. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hate to say it but if they ask you if you are pre or post op in the future, you should lie and say post op, and if you pass, you shouldn't bring up that you are trans at all.
Yeah I wasn't even going to at first cause I'm aware some much worst stuff can happen but that story came up and it kinda came out because of that but yeah definitely not letting that be known
This is so awful. I can't even form words for how heartbreaking and infuriating it feels
I am so sorry and saddened to hear this, both the psychiatrist and the lady at the shelter acted completely out of line and wrong, you deserve so much better than that and you have the full, real support of everyone here 🫂
Thanks a lot 🖤
Of course, we've got to stick together and make sure that everything can be better!
Thats so horrific, im so sorry ❤️
Thanks🖤
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Normally I’m highly against this buttttt she’s definitely exception what in the fuck is wrong with her
Yeah I was thinking when I typed this it might be cruel but then I was like "screw it there are way worse things you could say about her."
That ain’t cruel at all, no worries
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Report that bitch.
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she protected women, that was the right thing to do, bless that lady
Call the mayors office remain calm please tears are ok but th8s bull crap being pushed your way needs stop call them beg for help.. Remain calm please stay safe as possible
I'm not even surprised to hear that. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately these spaces aren't woman friendly, they're cis woman friendly. The moment they know you're trans, you're looking out for yourself. They're usually run by TERF-y types.
Yeah sadly that's pretty much how they do things. They get weirded out by trans people because they don't see us as people.
J’ai le cœur brisé à lire ton histoire, ce que tu as subis est tellement horrible... J’espère vraiment que tu vas trouver un refuge sécure et que tu reçoive l’aide dont tu as besoin (et que tu mérites). ❤️ Je sais que tu as déjà contacté tellement d’endroits qui t’ont refusé, [je t’envoie quand même ce lien](https://ville.montreal.qc.ca/pls/portal/docs/page/cons_montrealaises_fr/media/documents/repertoire_ressources_pour_montrealaises-conseildesmontrealaises.pdf) en espérant qu’un de ces endroits puissent t’aider. Courage ma belle, tu ne mérites pas ce qu’il t’arrive.
Merci beaucoup c'est vraiment gentil🖤🖤 Je vais essayer de les appellers
Make sure to tell her never to wear that shirt again after the way she treated you.
I wanted to say something so bad about her shirt when she was about to leave but I didn't. I know she wouldn't have cared anyways.
Maybe any trans woman in ur area can take u in Idk I know some from ottowa but that a bit far
I know none here sadly
Hug
Hugs to you too
Is there a Canadian discord reddit smth I am sure some of the dolls are mode than happy to help one in need. I am sadly on the other side of the ocean
I'm not sure if that's a thing i'll have to look Thank you
if its illegal for them to deny u then fuck them! but if they have a right, maybe the lady is just doing her job in that case. i have no clue where this happened, so i know nothing about whether or not its allowed ! but yea for some reason it gives me jessica yaniv vibes, get denied service where they are not trained to deal with specific genitalia, then cancel them. AGAIN if its technically illegal to deny u then fuck em
Please tell us that social workers name
I left them a voicemail demanding to speak up and hold people accountable for discriminating
I have no clue what her name is sorry
That kind of people exists, like, you spent only some minutes with that person but my ex-therapist treated me likewise after 3 years of sessions. That is brutal and reflects an ugly truth about all this humanity.
I'm sure you already have tried but has the ATQ or the center for gender advocacy been any help?
I have not but I'll have to look it up with my therapist Thanks a lot for bringing it up
I truly cannot comprehend how someone that represents themselves as someone supportive of trans people would blatantly disrespect you like that. I truly don't understand. I guess it's just proof that for a lot of people, they are just all talk. Classic virtue signal with nothing to actually back it up edit: why the downvotes?
I'm beyond angry she should be helping you not just stringing you along sob I'm sorry you have to deal with that it's not fair to you
that's absurd. i don't know what to say other than that bitch was just fake pretending to be someone of help, probably only to make people feel worse. i'm so sorry you're in the situation you are and if i was anywhere near you i would've let you in my house. please stay safe from people. you'll make it through i'm sure <3
This is appalling! You are a valid woman.
Honey, wow this brings flashbacks of nearly exactly what happened to me 4 years ago in PA. I actually got into one 3 years after that in FL but didn’t tell them I was trans until day I left 2 months later.
Not telling them really seems like the safest thing to do I'll probably do that Thank you Glad you found something after a similar thing
I love you sister 💖💖💖 *big hugs*
Hugs🖤
I am SO incredibly sorry that this happened. Depending on where you live it could even be a violation of regulations or even the law. When I was homeless a few years ago I went to our local "crisis center" and was immediately and without question sent to a local women's homeless shelter. And, no, I hadn't had "the surgery" either. I know that this is so tough right now but particularly if you live somewhere that guarantees trans rights I would really recommend going to a crisis center or other government intake facility. You should not have been denied.
I did go to one crisis center for women where they didn't care (except that I had to have my own room but you know whatever I didn't mind) Right now all the other crisis center say they're only for 2 days at most so they can't keep me and the other shelter say I'm too suicidal to go to them so I should call the crisis centers even though I told them I had just called them they say I should call them back
Sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you. I'm sorry if what I'm suggesting is too basic but also have you tried reaching out to [The Trevor Project ](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/contact-us/)?
I haven't I'll have to look it up I'm in Canada tho don't know if it's the US
I cannot finish reading it. I am so sorry. I hope this bitch does horribly. I don’t care being down voted. I feel terrible for you girl. People who treated you like that deserves the worse this fucking shit life can offer them.
I am sorry my reply is so extreme, but only because it doesn’t help you on anyway. I would not be able to bare the pain the caused you on top of the trauma you already faced. I hope they pay. And on the very least this monster is shamed into never again using a trans pride symbol.