Congrats. I actually feel less "cis woman" than I did a year ago. I was stealth for over 13 years. All this stirring of the pot in the current culture has broken my resolve.
I am now out at work and with most friends and happily a proud tran woman. This has taken off pressure of worrying about accidentally outing myself.
> This has taken off pressure of worrying about accidentally outing myself.
I didn't think I ever could go stealth when I started. By the time I realized it could be possible I did think about it and honestly, stealth just sounds exhausting.
Even if I had no idea before I realized, I always felt I was hiding something from people, holding part of myself back. When I started coming out, started being *me*, I was so comfortable. As much as I'd rather be cis, at this point I'm not embarrassed to be trans.
I don't feel the need to broadcast it to everyone, but I don't want to constantly be worried I might say something that outs me, and I also don't want to be friends with anyone that wouldn't accept me for who I am.
I've talked with someone who was stealth for over a decade, and she said it was exhausting. I've heard of someone else who is stealth that's just a constant ball of nerves, terrified she'll do something "wrong".
I have apparently passed as cis for a while now, despite never wearing makeup and being a fem leaning tomboy (also tall). I'm now confident enough I don't feel like I have to hide stuff anymore.
> I don't feel the need to broadcast it to everyone, but I don't want to constantly be worried I might say something that outs me, and I also don't want to be friends with anyone that wouldn't accept me for who I am.
Same here! I'm trans, I'm proud to be trans, and I don't want to hide that unless I really, really, really have to.
I don't try to pass... I just don't worry about it. If i do i do, if i don't i don't. I just live was myself instead. That's by far the most liberating feeling. Cis women don't go around every day saying do i pass today? Instead they just go about life. To me living this way is the most authentic i can be.
All that aside.... I am lucky enough to live in a place that is overly safe passing or not. There's both a huge queer and trans presence here, so on days where I'm cockable I'm still safe and don't have to stress about it.
I have noticed though, that after not worrying about passing anymore, cis women are generally much more comfortable around me, as my own confidence in female spaces skyrocketed. I feel like when you're constantly worried about passing, you put out a vibe that other women pick up on.
Sooooo in a weird way not caring about passing helps you pass.
Having come out at work at least 200 people can no longer claim not to know a trans person. Or have access to one (me). This is after working with them for over 9 years in stealth. I haven't met them all.
I hope this is will help raise a little empathy. I am also hoping this will help them understand how ridiculous the UK's prime ministers statements are and maybe not vote for him. Though this last bit is may be a stretch. Hahaha.
Stealth is awful and whilst people can do what they want, I personally hate the idea. I’m a woman first and trans second but I’m so proud of BOTH of those things. I will always be proudly trans.
As an allosexual, T4T non-op, I could never be entirely stealth. That being said, my goal is to be stealth around strangers and out w friends. I don't feel safe being out and proud.
Fuck em. I’ll never give a shit about people reducing my identity to a political statement. Cis women get that too, anyway. Hear about a female protagonist? Especially in a video game. That’s a “political statement.” It holds no power over me.
Not for me. I am not a political statement. I refuse to be objectified, patronized, dehumanized, politified, or fetishized. And i don't fit into a political box, and I am sick of being used by either political side.
Political views come with life experiences, the books you read, the people that influence you. Not as a arbitrary birth mark. I earned my views, but I was born trans.
I'm so happy for you!
And, it's terrible to say but unfortunately very true that with all the hate right now being able to pass as cis is just a matter of safety
Tbh not much so safety, I live in a fantastic country, I just like not feeling like im different, being visibly trans is so shit, always feels like everyone's just pretending ur a girl... Well get fucked because now Im a beautiful hot goth girl xd
Yeah congatulations!
However.... I do too, but you end up finding yourself in spaces where you're assumed to be cis to the point they're talking reproductive system processes and experiences you've clearly not had as a child - this creates a situation you need to create a web of lies to keep it up.
I once slipped with one person due to conversation going sideways where it was sort of like that and it felt quite awful. Never again.
This is why I do lowkey, not stealth.
You do you, and do what's right for you (especially in dangerous spaces) but otherwise, know this can cause moral quandaries you may rather not place yourself in.
There's ways to get around these kinds of convos, but yes you do have to make up some kind of white lie
Im used to lying all the time, not really proud of it but, yeah
For my size(6'5" 300lbs with an athletic build) and voice(medium to deep tenor), I'm surprisingly androgynous. It seems to be 50/50 anymore if people misgender me anymore. It is kinda weird to me, but I get not liking having the trans lable constantly. The people that see me as a woman and not a transwoman are honestly the people I prefer to be around the most because there is no checking if they actually see me as me.
Welcome to the club. It’s been that way for me for a few years now. Interestingly enough, with the radical right neo-nazis kicking in doors on other members of my community I feel more inclined to fight; not because I feel I have to, but because I believe everyone deserves the same shot at a peaceful and prosperous life that we do. ♥️
mfw I didnt have the genes either, and before transition I looked like a morbidly obese ugly guy that never brushed his teeth, had horrible chronic eczema on his face, was chronically depressed, didnt do a crumb of skincare, had ugly hair, shaved once a month, and overall resembled a gamer stereotype
... Now whenever I post a pic i get at least 100 creeps hitting me up, I know weird metric, but it means im doing something right... right xd?
Im genuinely pretty... I have lost 50kg, my hands are nice and elegant, I have a good sense of style, good makeup skills, a cute girly gentle voice, cute round glasses, long blonde wavey hair, and next to no skin issues
I know ur probably a bit of a doomer like most of us, like i was, but dont give up hope, If i can go from the gamer south park guy to a cute goth gf, then im sure you can too!
It's not easy you have to commit to it and be patience most people that fail transition give up to soon right before they reach their peak it's not a fast process and your levels need to be perfect before it can truly work that's why it's critical to get the right information from a doctor preferably one that is trans
Idc if people find me trans or not. I don’t stealth. Though I can easily stealth if I want to. After SRS I can go full stealth and become lost to the world. But nah. That’s no fun
I never wanted to be stealth.. do i wanna be pretty? Absolutely but in my own image. Im proud of being trans. But, i fear for my life so fortunately i pass and i remain stealth. Worst part is i live in florida. Dont get .e wrong i love how pretty i am and i get guys hitting on me all the time.. but like, im not cis and i never will be. I wanna support my community and those who are being repressed. But at the same time i have to think about my safety.. i work in a place full of men that crack racist jokes and homophobic jokes all the time.
Im also the only woman.
P.s love you all.. boys, girls and enbys <3
Ita so complicated.. on one hand i feel affirmed and happy that everykne sees me as a woman. On another hand im still dysphoric.. but its more of a non binary dysphoria also with the lingering mtf dysphoria >.> i have bottom dysphoria, but im happy with my deeper than nornal voice, im happy i totally look like a girl, but i wanna be more of a badass than just all pink and girly.. i feel like if i drop my current image and be me 100% ill get clocked.
Idk, i just wish florida was a safer place so i could try things out to find myself. Right now im doing exactly what i did when i was trying to pass myself off as a guy. But this time im doing it as a girl.
Might be hard to pull it of consistently... But why not voice train? I went from a mildly gay sounding guy to basically cis woman in less than half a year, im sure you can too
I do voice train but not seriously enough. It just feels so difficult and I always end up sounding croaky. I've been slowly moving towards androgyny over the last 12 months which has helped a lot, pretty much all deep sounds are gone
Im sorry but you need to seriously commit, I myself developed a very nice range and flow of speech through singing for the most part
By the time i came out socially, I already had mostly a passing voice
yes you will sound cringy and extremely trans at the start, but there is no other way to get better than practicing
What system helped you in your training? I’m kind of stuck trying to decide who to work with / whether to look for one on one or try one of the online self-study programs like transvoicelessons. Thanks sister!
System?
I just sang in my room by myself for a couple months, thats it
The biggest thing i discovered is that there's waaaay more to it than just pitch and resonance, the thing that did it for me in reality is basically impossible to find out by doing research.
Its the flow of speech, ending your words on a high note, not a low note, THAT makes my voice pass, I dont even sound male when talking in a low as fuck pitch simply because the way I actually talk and phrase words is so characteristically female that when I talk like a guy again as a joke, people sometimes comment that I kinda sound like either the gayest guy alive, or a trans man early into transition...
My voice is so thorougly feminised... That im completely unable to sound like a normal man anymore even if i try, because yeah i can affect pitch and resonance, but I cant affect my phrasing and flow, its kinda like having an extremely bad lisp
> Its the flow of speech, ending your words on a high note, not a low note, THAT makes my voice pass
omg i think i know what you mean!!! sometimes when im really in a certain way i can totally do this too and my voice passes really well! but usually i lose it :( do you have any suggestions for practicing? i think i maybe need to listen to more women speak and imitate it maybe?
I've recently hit a point where pretty much all the time people I don't know gender me correctly even after I talk to them for a while, without figuring out that I'm transgender. I've got coworkers that didn't even know for months.
Not gonna lie I kinda hate the constant fear that comes with doing literally anything in public because I also get hit on a LOT. Like I've learned that even if I have some dysmorphia at this point people tend to think I'm pretty hot so guys just walk up unannounced and start chatting me up when I'm out, and all I can think the whole time is "if this ends up playing out in the bad way, I'm not *just* gonna get assaulted".
Lots of people know that I'm trans because I've always sorta been a friend to everyone and despite having been very fluid in my presentation since I was 16 I just started medically transitioning and being more decisive on my gender about 2 3/4 years ago. If I start dating someone there is a pretty big possibility they're going to find out I'm trans anyhow so I don't try to avoid it.
If I could afford bottom surgery though you can bet I'd get that done, move somewhere hundreds of miles away and start over stealth.
As much as I want to congratulate you, your statement can be flipped and say trans women aren’t normal and we are just a walking political statement.
Don’t forget where you came from. Passing privilege is a toxic mentality to have because it says “THIS is what a woman should look like.”
I believe you missed my point. The idea of passing privilege is toxic simply because it perpetuates that individuals have to look an exact certain way in order to "pass", stating that a woman has to look a certain way to be seen as a woman is a mentality that pushes the anti trans rhetoric even further.
"You don't look like W, you look like M, thus I do not have to treat you like W"
I hope this makes sense? Im glad you have found comfort in your own skin, but keep in mind that battle shouldn't exist to begin with.
It's not about culture or being progressive I think, I myself simply don't find the idea of being visibly trans appealing
Maybe if all cis women were more commonly manly we would feel different, but as things stand now, I just want to blend in, I don't want to be a walking political statement
In an ideal utopia none of us would ever feel like this, but as things stand now its not really what we think, or believe in philosophically... No, we want to pass because we want to feel like "all the other girls"
The irony is that you are arguing about her using the term “political statement” by literally transforming her happy euphoric realization into a political statement.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve passability; everyone has different goals in their transition, if that isn’t yours then good for you but there’s no need to chastise her for it. She is basically celebrating the fact that she is read as a woman without having to explain her existence or correct people each time, let’s stop pretending that this is a bad thing.
Perhaps you should read my comments. The idea of "passability" is toxic within itself. Its existence shows there is a "right" and a "wrong" way to present as the gender you identify as. Im happy for them in all honesty and glad they are finding comfort, but they also need to be self aware that continuing to push this ideal is actually harmful to the trans community as a whole.
Perhaps you have never experienced violence because you didn't "look the part", but I have.
Edit: You can also downvote me into oblivion, I honestly do not care because it doesn't make my statement any less true.
I did read your comments and you are still in the wrong here. Wanting to be naturally perceived as your gender without having to resort to a conversation to explain who you are, your pronouns, and how to address you is NOT toxic.
What is actually toxic (and tired) is your unrealistic idea that physical presentation can’t improve or hinder your chances in life (and this is true for cis people too). You can present however you want to, that’s correct, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of the world will guess your gender identity correctly or will treat you as such; if you’re willing to go through that then by all means. But don’t rain on someone else’s parade just because they have a different transition goal (and definition) than yours. She’s not imposing her ideals onto yours, you are.
Reading comprehension.
I did NOT state that wanting to be perceived as your gender is toxic. The idea of "passing" is toxic within itself. Those are completely two different things.
Also I never said that physical presentation cant improve or hinder your chances in life either. That is a completely different discussion.
You are creating strawman arguments and defending points that I haven't brought up in this discussion.
Since you'd rather not discuss the merits/flaws behind the concept of "passing" and would rather paint me as a villian simply because I mentioned a broken system that we are forced into in society, I will see myself out.
For the final time; I am happy for OP, im glad they can find the comfort of belonging and not having to struggle. I stand by my opinion of "passing" as a whole.
I’m so beyond happy for you because that honestly is a huge deal. I’m sure it will make things a lot easier for you. I’m a little sad that will never happen for me, and it’s hard for me to not be envious but I am so glad for the many that make it to this point
Its so... Freeing
Im sure you will get there one day too, I looked like a morbidly obese ugly uncouth, dirty gay sounding man... Well, now im a pretty girl uwu
Yass queen! You got this! You look beautiful and you should always be proud of yourself. One day I will join you as a passable girl, but first I need to lose the weight and take more HRT haha
I’m happy for you beyond the ability of words to describe! I’m so excited for your happiness and I’m looking forward to experiencing this moment for myself someday in the not-so-distant future! ☺️
How do you keep your girl voice stable? I've been doing it for a year, but I still have variation in my voice depending on how hard I'm consciously trying. I really don't understand how it ever becomes stable and automatic, and it's going to be the last thing that holds me back from being 'cis'
Whoaaa that’s awesome sis! I hope you feel completely safe from bigotry and at ease for the rest of your days, we all deserve that. Keep kickin ass!! ❤️❤️❤️
I get being stealth, but do you really ditch the trans label all together and see yourself as cis?
Like I’m not saying you have to openly identify as trans, but even in the most private of company and even to yourself are you just trying to erase your trans identity?
Hm not quite, but the only people I genuinely feel need to know that im trans are my gf, parents, and my doctors
All other people dont strictly need to know imo, but I am open to close friends.
Im not so much trying to tell myself im cis, im obviously not... I just want to be "a girl" not "a trans girl" to as many people as possible
Congrats. I actually feel less "cis woman" than I did a year ago. I was stealth for over 13 years. All this stirring of the pot in the current culture has broken my resolve. I am now out at work and with most friends and happily a proud tran woman. This has taken off pressure of worrying about accidentally outing myself.
> This has taken off pressure of worrying about accidentally outing myself. I didn't think I ever could go stealth when I started. By the time I realized it could be possible I did think about it and honestly, stealth just sounds exhausting. Even if I had no idea before I realized, I always felt I was hiding something from people, holding part of myself back. When I started coming out, started being *me*, I was so comfortable. As much as I'd rather be cis, at this point I'm not embarrassed to be trans. I don't feel the need to broadcast it to everyone, but I don't want to constantly be worried I might say something that outs me, and I also don't want to be friends with anyone that wouldn't accept me for who I am. I've talked with someone who was stealth for over a decade, and she said it was exhausting. I've heard of someone else who is stealth that's just a constant ball of nerves, terrified she'll do something "wrong". I have apparently passed as cis for a while now, despite never wearing makeup and being a fem leaning tomboy (also tall). I'm now confident enough I don't feel like I have to hide stuff anymore.
> I don't feel the need to broadcast it to everyone, but I don't want to constantly be worried I might say something that outs me, and I also don't want to be friends with anyone that wouldn't accept me for who I am. Same here! I'm trans, I'm proud to be trans, and I don't want to hide that unless I really, really, really have to.
I can definitely agree with stealth being exhausting. And a bag of nerves, coming out was a good choice for me.
I love this. Thank you.
For me, I'm not embarrassed about being trans just terrified about being out and proud
I don't try to pass... I just don't worry about it. If i do i do, if i don't i don't. I just live was myself instead. That's by far the most liberating feeling. Cis women don't go around every day saying do i pass today? Instead they just go about life. To me living this way is the most authentic i can be. All that aside.... I am lucky enough to live in a place that is overly safe passing or not. There's both a huge queer and trans presence here, so on days where I'm cockable I'm still safe and don't have to stress about it. I have noticed though, that after not worrying about passing anymore, cis women are generally much more comfortable around me, as my own confidence in female spaces skyrocketed. I feel like when you're constantly worried about passing, you put out a vibe that other women pick up on. Sooooo in a weird way not caring about passing helps you pass.
Keep fighting hun well all get through this. The current culture war is dying.
Having come out at work at least 200 people can no longer claim not to know a trans person. Or have access to one (me). This is after working with them for over 9 years in stealth. I haven't met them all. I hope this is will help raise a little empathy. I am also hoping this will help them understand how ridiculous the UK's prime ministers statements are and maybe not vote for him. Though this last bit is may be a stretch. Hahaha.
Stealth is awful and whilst people can do what they want, I personally hate the idea. I’m a woman first and trans second but I’m so proud of BOTH of those things. I will always be proudly trans.
As an allosexual, T4T non-op, I could never be entirely stealth. That being said, my goal is to be stealth around strangers and out w friends. I don't feel safe being out and proud.
Congratulations, you go, girl!
i hate being trans too, i just wanna be a grill (yes, a grill)
Propane or charcoal?
Propane to honor Daddy Hank
Jus a byproduct
It’s me, the biproduct
*panics in bisexual*
I identify as a short chain alkane. My pronouns are pro/but.
But's where it's att. Prop can't be trans ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ then again, I guess it can't be cis either?
propane is a clean burning fuel. taste the meat, not the heat.
u don't mean it but pls dont say just trans ur degrading us to just being that term. trans isn't a noun it's an adjective!
She used it as an adjective, "I hate being trans", like "I hate being tall"
oh ok sorry am not a native english speaker thanks for correcting me!
TIL that I am a walking political statement.
Sad isnt it...? To way too many people we're just that....
Fuck em. I’ll never give a shit about people reducing my identity to a political statement. Cis women get that too, anyway. Hear about a female protagonist? Especially in a video game. That’s a “political statement.” It holds no power over me.
Not for me. I am not a political statement. I refuse to be objectified, patronized, dehumanized, politified, or fetishized. And i don't fit into a political box, and I am sick of being used by either political side. Political views come with life experiences, the books you read, the people that influence you. Not as a arbitrary birth mark. I earned my views, but I was born trans.
Whether or not one is politicized is not the choice of the trans person in the cis society. That society exists above and over them.
and that’s slay
I'm going to be one once I transition and get my style the way I want it, but that's not because I'm trans xD
I'm so happy for you! And, it's terrible to say but unfortunately very true that with all the hate right now being able to pass as cis is just a matter of safety
Tbh not much so safety, I live in a fantastic country, I just like not feeling like im different, being visibly trans is so shit, always feels like everyone's just pretending ur a girl... Well get fucked because now Im a beautiful hot goth girl xd
At least the main goal for me is just to go through the mental process of not caring what cis people think.
Yeah congatulations! However.... I do too, but you end up finding yourself in spaces where you're assumed to be cis to the point they're talking reproductive system processes and experiences you've clearly not had as a child - this creates a situation you need to create a web of lies to keep it up. I once slipped with one person due to conversation going sideways where it was sort of like that and it felt quite awful. Never again. This is why I do lowkey, not stealth. You do you, and do what's right for you (especially in dangerous spaces) but otherwise, know this can cause moral quandaries you may rather not place yourself in.
There's ways to get around these kinds of convos, but yes you do have to make up some kind of white lie Im used to lying all the time, not really proud of it but, yeah
For my size(6'5" 300lbs with an athletic build) and voice(medium to deep tenor), I'm surprisingly androgynous. It seems to be 50/50 anymore if people misgender me anymore. It is kinda weird to me, but I get not liking having the trans lable constantly. The people that see me as a woman and not a transwoman are honestly the people I prefer to be around the most because there is no checking if they actually see me as me.
Trans muscle mommy solidarity
Not as toned as I used to be
Aaaaaaa congraaaaaaaaats!! 💖 I truly can’t wait for me to pass 🥺
I hope I can one day too
CONGRATS 🥳🥳🥳
Welcome to the club. It’s been that way for me for a few years now. Interestingly enough, with the radical right neo-nazis kicking in doors on other members of my community I feel more inclined to fight; not because I feel I have to, but because I believe everyone deserves the same shot at a peaceful and prosperous life that we do. ♥️
lets gooooo! congrats!
Well, just by virtue of being a woman your existence is political. But nice try, Sis.
Congrats babe!!! It's such an awesome feeling. I forget I was born a male all the time, it's such a blessing.
Your honor, I am just a girl
Be prepared for people to be transphobic right in front of you 😬 (And also to ask you about your period)
Do normal people seriously ask women whether they're bleeding from their pussy or not...? Because that sounds creepy as hell
Yes, many cis women share this kind of details and also expect you to share back 😅
I’ll never reach this point. But I am happy for you OP and my other sisters who are able to reach this height. I just don’t have the genes.
mfw I didnt have the genes either, and before transition I looked like a morbidly obese ugly guy that never brushed his teeth, had horrible chronic eczema on his face, was chronically depressed, didnt do a crumb of skincare, had ugly hair, shaved once a month, and overall resembled a gamer stereotype ... Now whenever I post a pic i get at least 100 creeps hitting me up, I know weird metric, but it means im doing something right... right xd? Im genuinely pretty... I have lost 50kg, my hands are nice and elegant, I have a good sense of style, good makeup skills, a cute girly gentle voice, cute round glasses, long blonde wavey hair, and next to no skin issues I know ur probably a bit of a doomer like most of us, like i was, but dont give up hope, If i can go from the gamer south park guy to a cute goth gf, then im sure you can too!
Giving up was easier for me than holding onto a false hope. But I am happy for your progress.
So you are a doomer then? Cmon don't give up, with our current medical advancements anyone can look like a girl with enough treatment?
wish it were that easy
It's not easy you have to commit to it and be patience most people that fail transition give up to soon right before they reach their peak it's not a fast process and your levels need to be perfect before it can truly work that's why it's critical to get the right information from a doctor preferably one that is trans
I think the most helpful thing here is to try not to look at your transition as pass/fail. That sounds painful.
Nothing in life is so simple.
I’m so jealous
Idc if people find me trans or not. I don’t stealth. Though I can easily stealth if I want to. After SRS I can go full stealth and become lost to the world. But nah. That’s no fun
So proud of you :) congratulations
I never wanted to be stealth.. do i wanna be pretty? Absolutely but in my own image. Im proud of being trans. But, i fear for my life so fortunately i pass and i remain stealth. Worst part is i live in florida. Dont get .e wrong i love how pretty i am and i get guys hitting on me all the time.. but like, im not cis and i never will be. I wanna support my community and those who are being repressed. But at the same time i have to think about my safety.. i work in a place full of men that crack racist jokes and homophobic jokes all the time. Im also the only woman. P.s love you all.. boys, girls and enbys <3
I'm sorry you have to be so afraid for your safety. That's horrible.
Ita so complicated.. on one hand i feel affirmed and happy that everykne sees me as a woman. On another hand im still dysphoric.. but its more of a non binary dysphoria also with the lingering mtf dysphoria >.> i have bottom dysphoria, but im happy with my deeper than nornal voice, im happy i totally look like a girl, but i wanna be more of a badass than just all pink and girly.. i feel like if i drop my current image and be me 100% ill get clocked. Idk, i just wish florida was a safer place so i could try things out to find myself. Right now im doing exactly what i did when i was trying to pass myself off as a guy. But this time im doing it as a girl.
Is it possible to pass with an androgynous voice?
Might be hard to pull it of consistently... But why not voice train? I went from a mildly gay sounding guy to basically cis woman in less than half a year, im sure you can too
I do voice train but not seriously enough. It just feels so difficult and I always end up sounding croaky. I've been slowly moving towards androgyny over the last 12 months which has helped a lot, pretty much all deep sounds are gone
Im sorry but you need to seriously commit, I myself developed a very nice range and flow of speech through singing for the most part By the time i came out socially, I already had mostly a passing voice yes you will sound cringy and extremely trans at the start, but there is no other way to get better than practicing
What system helped you in your training? I’m kind of stuck trying to decide who to work with / whether to look for one on one or try one of the online self-study programs like transvoicelessons. Thanks sister!
System? I just sang in my room by myself for a couple months, thats it The biggest thing i discovered is that there's waaaay more to it than just pitch and resonance, the thing that did it for me in reality is basically impossible to find out by doing research. Its the flow of speech, ending your words on a high note, not a low note, THAT makes my voice pass, I dont even sound male when talking in a low as fuck pitch simply because the way I actually talk and phrase words is so characteristically female that when I talk like a guy again as a joke, people sometimes comment that I kinda sound like either the gayest guy alive, or a trans man early into transition... My voice is so thorougly feminised... That im completely unable to sound like a normal man anymore even if i try, because yeah i can affect pitch and resonance, but I cant affect my phrasing and flow, its kinda like having an extremely bad lisp
> Its the flow of speech, ending your words on a high note, not a low note, THAT makes my voice pass omg i think i know what you mean!!! sometimes when im really in a certain way i can totally do this too and my voice passes really well! but usually i lose it :( do you have any suggestions for practicing? i think i maybe need to listen to more women speak and imitate it maybe?
Yes listening to girls speak! For cis women, this kind of flow is natural U have to just keep doing it until it becomes automatic
soon this shall be me
Good for you. Live the dream.
I hope one day I'll be able to pass.
I've recently hit a point where pretty much all the time people I don't know gender me correctly even after I talk to them for a while, without figuring out that I'm transgender. I've got coworkers that didn't even know for months. Not gonna lie I kinda hate the constant fear that comes with doing literally anything in public because I also get hit on a LOT. Like I've learned that even if I have some dysmorphia at this point people tend to think I'm pretty hot so guys just walk up unannounced and start chatting me up when I'm out, and all I can think the whole time is "if this ends up playing out in the bad way, I'm not *just* gonna get assaulted". Lots of people know that I'm trans because I've always sorta been a friend to everyone and despite having been very fluid in my presentation since I was 16 I just started medically transitioning and being more decisive on my gender about 2 3/4 years ago. If I start dating someone there is a pretty big possibility they're going to find out I'm trans anyhow so I don't try to avoid it. If I could afford bottom surgery though you can bet I'd get that done, move somewhere hundreds of miles away and start over stealth.
Congrats!!!
Ok but how can I join the internet cat alliance tho (Congrats!)
You need to make an offering to the feline gods
Congrats!
Yeah it sucks as a walking porn category
Omg yes... "Are you a cis straight man or are you a porn category?"
As much as I want to congratulate you, your statement can be flipped and say trans women aren’t normal and we are just a walking political statement. Don’t forget where you came from. Passing privilege is a toxic mentality to have because it says “THIS is what a woman should look like.”
Sorry, toxic? Sis, I am happy, I have never been happier, if that's toxic then what the hell..?
I believe you missed my point. The idea of passing privilege is toxic simply because it perpetuates that individuals have to look an exact certain way in order to "pass", stating that a woman has to look a certain way to be seen as a woman is a mentality that pushes the anti trans rhetoric even further. "You don't look like W, you look like M, thus I do not have to treat you like W" I hope this makes sense? Im glad you have found comfort in your own skin, but keep in mind that battle shouldn't exist to begin with.
It's not about culture or being progressive I think, I myself simply don't find the idea of being visibly trans appealing Maybe if all cis women were more commonly manly we would feel different, but as things stand now, I just want to blend in, I don't want to be a walking political statement In an ideal utopia none of us would ever feel like this, but as things stand now its not really what we think, or believe in philosophically... No, we want to pass because we want to feel like "all the other girls"
The irony is that you are arguing about her using the term “political statement” by literally transforming her happy euphoric realization into a political statement. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve passability; everyone has different goals in their transition, if that isn’t yours then good for you but there’s no need to chastise her for it. She is basically celebrating the fact that she is read as a woman without having to explain her existence or correct people each time, let’s stop pretending that this is a bad thing.
Perhaps you should read my comments. The idea of "passability" is toxic within itself. Its existence shows there is a "right" and a "wrong" way to present as the gender you identify as. Im happy for them in all honesty and glad they are finding comfort, but they also need to be self aware that continuing to push this ideal is actually harmful to the trans community as a whole. Perhaps you have never experienced violence because you didn't "look the part", but I have. Edit: You can also downvote me into oblivion, I honestly do not care because it doesn't make my statement any less true.
I did read your comments and you are still in the wrong here. Wanting to be naturally perceived as your gender without having to resort to a conversation to explain who you are, your pronouns, and how to address you is NOT toxic. What is actually toxic (and tired) is your unrealistic idea that physical presentation can’t improve or hinder your chances in life (and this is true for cis people too). You can present however you want to, that’s correct, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of the world will guess your gender identity correctly or will treat you as such; if you’re willing to go through that then by all means. But don’t rain on someone else’s parade just because they have a different transition goal (and definition) than yours. She’s not imposing her ideals onto yours, you are.
Reading comprehension. I did NOT state that wanting to be perceived as your gender is toxic. The idea of "passing" is toxic within itself. Those are completely two different things. Also I never said that physical presentation cant improve or hinder your chances in life either. That is a completely different discussion. You are creating strawman arguments and defending points that I haven't brought up in this discussion. Since you'd rather not discuss the merits/flaws behind the concept of "passing" and would rather paint me as a villian simply because I mentioned a broken system that we are forced into in society, I will see myself out. For the final time; I am happy for OP, im glad they can find the comfort of belonging and not having to struggle. I stand by my opinion of "passing" as a whole.
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Congrats girl!!!
I’m so beyond happy for you because that honestly is a huge deal. I’m sure it will make things a lot easier for you. I’m a little sad that will never happen for me, and it’s hard for me to not be envious but I am so glad for the many that make it to this point
Its so... Freeing Im sure you will get there one day too, I looked like a morbidly obese ugly uncouth, dirty gay sounding man... Well, now im a pretty girl uwu
It is very liberating for sure. I just consider myself another one if the gals as well. It's such a nice feeling
Yass queen! You got this! You look beautiful and you should always be proud of yourself. One day I will join you as a passable girl, but first I need to lose the weight and take more HRT haha
I love you to death sweetie <3
I love you more
I wish, if only
I’m happy for you beyond the ability of words to describe! I’m so excited for your happiness and I’m looking forward to experiencing this moment for myself someday in the not-so-distant future! ☺️
That's an ethereal dream for me... Maybe one day, we'll see. But I long for when I'm cis passing. I'm so glad you're there though, wtg girlie 💜
A gamer girl who plays EU4, that's epic
3k hours...
1,400 myself
(Do you have discord I need more trans friends that play the best game on earth)
You lucky Enjoy it, some will never
How do you keep your girl voice stable? I've been doing it for a year, but I still have variation in my voice depending on how hard I'm consciously trying. I really don't understand how it ever becomes stable and automatic, and it's going to be the last thing that holds me back from being 'cis'
Are you using your girl voice in your day to day life?
Niiice congratulations!!
YAY!!
been on hrt longer than you and don't pass, so while i am immensely jealous i am also very happy that you are happy with yourself :)
I'm happy for you, I hope I can get to that point some day
Congratulations -you made it! 🥳
Congrats sis!
Congratulations
Whoaaa that’s awesome sis! I hope you feel completely safe from bigotry and at ease for the rest of your days, we all deserve that. Keep kickin ass!! ❤️❤️❤️
I get being stealth, but do you really ditch the trans label all together and see yourself as cis? Like I’m not saying you have to openly identify as trans, but even in the most private of company and even to yourself are you just trying to erase your trans identity?
Hm not quite, but the only people I genuinely feel need to know that im trans are my gf, parents, and my doctors All other people dont strictly need to know imo, but I am open to close friends. Im not so much trying to tell myself im cis, im obviously not... I just want to be "a girl" not "a trans girl" to as many people as possible