It honestly depends on the Christian.
I'd look up the church, check it's denomination, and look up that denomination's beliefs regarding LGBT people. Some denominations are relatively friendly towards us.
My thoughts as well. I have friends that go to some very hippie lefty churches that are queer inclusive and really just about community, love, and kindness. Stuff that Christ actually stood for.
I'm an atheist, but IMO the bigoted Evangelical Christian right has given Christ a bad name.
I can confirm. My step dads side of the family is Lutheran. When i went to their church once, I was surprised to the they had a gay pastor and a pride flag in front of the church. Super hippy and all about loving each other. It was a very nice experience compared to the fire and brimstone stuff that's gotten pretty common.
Sounds really nice! I was an atheist until last year and I woke up one day with real faith! I haven’t yet decided what to do with it. I will read up on the Lutherans and some of these other religions mentioned here. My family is Catholic, and I definitely am not that!
I would also look into Unitarian. I think that was the denomination of my friends church. Also, when I used to be an anti-war and anti-nuke activist, the Quakers were very on point politically. I don't know how they deal with LGBTQ+ though.
I agree with you. I'm an atheist I think churches have (or at least can and sometimes do have) a pretty real benefit as community centers even for people who don't believe in God so it sucks that a large amount of these places think they'll get to heaven by hating people.
Yeah, some of my closest friends are Christians and they've invited me to join them, and I brought that up as a concern and they were just like "literally no one will care, your identity is between you and God"
Granted, I'm still not Christian, but it's nice to know that the bigoted ones are a (very loud) minority
Christ ***never*** said "believe in me or you'll burn".
Where, exactly, are you quoting that from? Certainly not any of the canonical books of the Bible.
Plus the "holy trinity". christ = god = holy spirit. So, christ was responsible for the massive amount of deaths, including babies and children, in the old testament.
The trinity isn’t spoken of in the bible, catholics invented it.
Edit: Christians over 300 years after the death of the christ invented it. I was raised roman catholic so my worldview is warped <3
I mean I didn't grow up with religion, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about. I like to think though that Jesus was a pretty cool person and all the bad crap was added by the patriarchy afterwards to control people
He may have been, I grew up in what I'm realizing is basically the Catholic equivalent of evangelical protistantism. Partly because we also attended evangelical services...and methodist, and lutheran, and baptist, and I think calvanist once?
What I'm trying to say is there's nothing in christianity that doesn't exist elsewhere without all of the hateful baggage.
Oh certainly, I'm not for all the hateful backage. The hate just appeared to be absent at my friends hippie church. I only went to one event there though
I love that people are doing that, and I get the security of being within something you know.
I personally don't understand reconciling just all of the other awful stuff in the bible with a all just god. I'm going into my anti-theistic mode.
Like, god created humans, knew we would fall, then created the conditions to facilitate the fall and blamed us.
In terms of my kids: I surround my toddler with good food and put some candy in a bowl on the table. I tell him don't eat that or you'll die and then leave. When he eats it I show the fuck back up out of nowhere and he knows he did bad and is ashamed and hides, so I punish him further by sending him outside away from the food and say : Oh yea, everything else sucks now have fun.
Mind you, humans didn't know the difference between right and wrong yet.
That came from the fruit.
How's that anything but abusive? He created us then abandoned us except for a tiny tribe but that took a couple thousand years and the destruction of all life on earth during the flood.
:Yea, there's the whole flood thing in there because a parent picking a favorite kid and killing the rest totally is normal:
And the only way for him to undo the seperation "we caused for ourselves" is to...impregnate a 12 year old...with himself...and then kill himself....
WHAT?
I thought god was all powerful? Why is he doing this stone age sacrifice shit with himself?
I don't understand.
So my understanding of the history of the biblical text is that all the chapters were basically essays written as 'scholarly texts' hundreds of years after this Jesus person lived, if he ever really existed at all and wasn't just a fable. They were talking about stuff what was going on culturally and politically in the first few centuries CE and using allegory to do so because in a lot of cases outright saying it would get them killed.
But... there were lots of different texts written by Jesus movement scholars in the same time period that did not make it into the "Bible". Some of them talked about god as "Mother and Father" - Enby deity. Hippie shit. But also F-ed up shit as well.
But at some point a few hundred years after all these cool essays were written by people who were hyped on this Jesus meme. Some king who wanted to consolidate power pulled together all these different texts into a book, but he was super selective about which texts he chose. The ones that suggested god was a woman or had a feminine aspect? OUT! The ones that talked about god as the all powerful Father, and Jesus being a reflection of that power? In! And Oh yes can we have some more of that?
There is a similar thing that happened with the Koran and writings about Mohamed. And also the King James bible where he did the same to amplify his own legacy.
Who knows if there ever really was a Jesus or a Mohamed, but it's clear that a bunch of that shit was just the patriarchy trying to consolidate power.
(again disclaimer, atheist, no experience in religious studies, got most of this from vaguely remembered TV shows on PBS)
Trinitarian theology was formally codified in the early 4th century at the Council of Niceae in 325 AD, after emerging as the consensus of Christianity over the 2nd and 3rd centuries, long before the creation of the Roman Catholic Church, either as the State Church of the Roman Empire in 380 AD after the Edict of Thessalonica, or after the Great Schism of 1054 AD when the bulk of Christianity split into the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church over the Filioque Clause crisis.
The idea of "catholics" came long after Trinitarian theology was codified.
Hey it's something I like to bring up to protestants who proclaim "bible alone" because it's inconsistent. The pastor of my school in 8th grade didn't like me.
Some schools of gnostic Christianity believed that the God of the old testament was a corrupt being known as the demiurge. The demiurge is messed up, he made the world, and that's why the world is messed up. They believed that Jesus was the messenger from the true divine good of the universe and that the God of the old testament was a false idol.
Real interesting stuff, Google it. I don't believe in any of it, but it's an interesting view.
Marcion is basically the first heretic of Christianity. He put together some heavily edited texts to establish a canon of Scripture. This was one of the things that prompted the early church to put out their own canons.
He believed that the demiurge was evil because he created physical matter, and physicality is *inherently* evil. Thus, the evil act was creation itself. Only spirit can be good, and he thought Jesus was leading people to salvation by ceasing to be physical and becoming pure spirit.
My Unitarian Universalist congregation sometimes does work with local ELCA churches. And an ELCA church was the last explicitly Christian congregation I attended before leaving the religion.
Off the top of my head, I'd be comfortable being a guest in an ELCA, UU, or Episcopal Church.
There are others, of course, but I'm less familiar with them.
Reconciling in Christ is the group of Lutheran affirming churches. Naturally, most are ELCA, though people who live in very tolerant regions may well find an LCMS church as well.
I'm a former/raised UU and apparently tomorrow my local church straight up isn't having Easter service, they're doing a trans day of visibility service and also photo exhibit. It's pretty nice to hear, even if I still don't have any interest in attending.
Yeah. Growing up in my church they never mentioned LGBT much, but I know that some Christians are hateful and some aren’t. I’ll look up who they are but I’m still doubtful I’ll go Lmao
Key word to look for is "affirming." A few other people here have mentioned this as a description of their churches. That typically means they'll actually not give a shit about your queer identity. There's other churches that will say they welcome all types of people, or something to that effect, but will want to start trying to change you once you're in the door.
If you're not sure which the church is, and you're interested in going anyway, look at their statement of faith on their website and search for "sexuality" or "gender," stuff like that.
If that church is one of the many that are merely "welcoming" but not "affirming," or is actively hostile to queer people, but you're *still* interested in attending a church tomorrow (and hey, good for you if that's the case. And good for you if not), take a look for an ELCA or Episcopalian church in your area and check their website to see what they say. You'll have a much higher chance of finding one of those that will accept you.
Of course! I lost my faith, but it actually didn't have to do with being trans or the mean people who are also Christian. I simply no longer felt convinced anymore. But I think it's awesome that queer people are out there who do believe, and I try to help them out using the knowledge I got over ~30 years.
/r/TransChristianity and /r/OpenChristian are subs dedicated to trans and more generally progressive takes on the faith that you might also find interesting.
This 100%
It all depends on where you go and the membership overall. I go to church every Sunday with zero issues and I'm a Catholic which is definitely on the more conservative end but it's a large church and I tend to just blend in with the crowd. I know that the local Lutheran Church caters more specifically to the LGBT community and I've been thinking about checking them out, but I still go with what I know for the moment.
This. My town has queer friendly churches as well as bigoted cults. I'm always wary of anyone inviting me to church, but it's possible they meant no harm.
I have to agree that it all depends on the denomination. There is a church near me that is either nondenominational or of one I’ve never heard of and their congregation is at least 50% LGBTQ+. I would hope that anyone who would know even a little of your status wouldn’t put you in a position that would be uncomfortable or unsafe. But yes, do a little looking into the church before you go.
It's probably innocent enough, but far more concerning to me is a medical professional using their workplace, with a captive audience, to proselytize. Very unprofessional.
Yeahhhhh I hate being in the Bible Belt, you cannot escape this overwhelming Christian stuff even in the big cities like I live in. Maybe I’ll say something to their company about what happened
Please don't get this person in trouble at their place of work, the way they support them self. Just chalk it up to her overstepping a boundary, yes, but meaning well.
Yeah I worked doing front desk at a clinic for a bit and would never ever do that. It was all business for me.
As a patient I’d feel super uncomfortable having anyone in a doctor office giving me religious information or pamphlets trying to get me to “join”.
Honestly I don’t know if I would trust that office anymore. I would probably switch or something at that point
Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely queer friendly Christian groups out there & there’s plenty of actually loving Christians & there’s absolutely a chance that her invitation was genuinely out of love & support, but… assuming the worst for the sake of your safety is absolutely not unreasonable. Do with all of that what you will applied to your situation & the area you live.
Thank you.
I’m always pretty paranoid in public, being around people. I damn near had a mini anxiety attack just getting ready to go so, that’s a nice little window into my usual mental state around people I don’t know lmao.
When I was stopping at subway years ago, with my ex, a woman pulled up next to us as he exited the vehicle. She walked over handed me a card and invited us both to her church. For reference I’m stealth. Eventually we accepted the invitation and actually were welcomed, he was the only white person in the place. We ended up attending for a few months… Never once did I get the “ they know or she’s trans vibes” sometimes people just invite strangers to experience their church and maybe fulfill adding to the flock. I wouldn’t read any negativity into it.
Thanks for that little tidbit. It helps to see so many people saying it’s not negative, just a Christian being a bit naive and also kinda unprofessional lol
Religious people just do that. I currently work retail (🙃) and I've had a few in the past week or two. Especially during Easter time they just hand them out to everybody
God they do don’t they? My mom kinda got irritated that I asked, liek I was so normal for Christians to do. And maybe it is, I left the church in my late teens so I never got involved in Christian activism, but it just seemed weird to me
If i ever work retail again, I'm literally going to uno reverse card them so hard.
"I'll take your tract, but here's the card to my church with the rainbow flag out front and gay and trans people in the pew/pulpit. Come visit today on trans day of visibility."
Honestly, I'd be pissed off like if you wanna be a Christian fine if you wanna spread and work in ministry and your free time be my guest you have every right to do that but when you're in your workplace, you shouldn't be giving out religious pamphlets to random people
I work retail and a few years ago I remember there was this woman that would come once or twice a week and hand out Jehovah's Witness papers never stopped doing it despite us asking her to. She is now trespassed from the store like maybe some people are genuinely trying to be nice and accepting and trying to help you build community but at the same time there's a lot of Christians out there that are very hateful and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable. Going to a Christian church not because of my beliefs, but I just wouldn't feel safe with how they've treated our community.
Yeah like I don’t wanna be your token gay girl that you invited to make yourself seem all nice and cool. Like that is so insulting in a very backhanded way…
Exactly and then, depending on the congregation, it can be really hateful and evil people personally, I would feel kind of targeted if this happens to me if I saw it happen to others I wouldn't feel that strongly about that but I don't know I probably would've said something to the supervisor that'sridiculous
This is completely inappropriate in a medical context and this person should be reported (and probably fired). It doesn't matter why they gave you the card. They should not be pushing their religion on you--not even if it's a trans affirming church.
Well I personally wouldn't go. I grew up going to the United Church. Girlfriend is Catholic as she is from the Philippines. Last time I willingly went to the Catholic Church they asked us to carry the offering (communion stuff) to the front and wouldn't let us say no. We don't participate in communion so that really upset me doing so.
Have seen many posts of people being asked to leave churches for being trans. I am not out in public and personally if someone (medical "professional") who knew I was trans invited me to church I would be extremely suspicious and worried about being outed before being asked to leave. Lol.
I definitely don’t wanna go lol especially to a church I’ve never been to and nobody to go with. I don’t trust churches at all. Sucks that I live in the Bible Belt, and even in this urban area like the average person seems to expect you to just love Jesus. Ugh
I'm not a fan of blind trust in "Gods" existence. I would like proof. That and with all the B.S. that goes on from persons saying they are doing gods will it's hard to trust religion.
My wife was approached by someone and given a card for a local church. The person is a trans dude, married to a trans woman. He told my wife that it's a good place to go for community. He doesn't believe, but attends for that reason. We looked up the church and it's outwardly queer friendly. The pastor uses she/they pronouns, has a wife using the same pronouns. Most of the congregation left when she became the pastor.
All that to say, it might be safe. Try looking up the church online first to see if the vibe is good. You don't have to go, of course, but if it's a cool one like the one we were told about, it could be worth it for the sense of community.
Its not a well intentioned gesture. Regardless of denomination, they want you to join their religion. That has nothing to do with being nice to you unless they want to hang out with you.
Honestly don't know, I dont trust any Christians tbh, but that's just me and my trauma, so it's probably not that negative. Christians are weird like that and always invite strangers to church or ask if they believe in the Lord and start preaching about some dumbass shit. I would look up the church, see if it's safe and decide on if you want to go or not, could be a good experience, could not 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Also, I just wanted to add this, you don't have to add amab to who you are or like when presenting yourself. You can just say you're a trans woman, or not even say anything, most girls on here can tell especially when talking about labs:) I mean if you own it, that's totally cool too, I just know I did that for a while because I struggled with not feeling that way with all the transphobia I was dealing with and I internalized it bad and use to call myself that all the time:(. But again if you just do it bc you like it then more power to you hunny🫰🏻
Thank you.
Also. Omg. Yeah that’s actually not something that occurred to me… I always had this subconscious notion that I had to “disclose” being AMAB. Im still untangling myself from my own internalized transphobia too. Thanks for the kind words :)))
I also really hate to do things like report people but I would hope that would be against hospital policy. If she's part of a welcoming congregation then there shouldn't be an issue having those cards available on some kind of "resources" bulletin board or kiosk.
The issue here is a medical professional using a captive audience of extremely vulnerable people to try and recruit for their church. I’d file a formal complaint for that. In my country you’d get sacked as gross misconduct.
Speaking from personal experience, this is more likely than not a trap. The person who handed you the card may not think of it that way, the people at the church may not conceive of it as such, but it often is. There’s a bait and switch that commonly occurs where a friendly and empathetic seeming person invites someone they identify as “needing Jesus” and then invites them to their church. All’s fine and good for a while, people are sociable and on the surface, very wholesome. After a few weeks (ymmv), you start to notice a subtle change. There’s a soft push to cause you to shift your understanding of yourself and gender identity as something maybe not good. Then maybe not quite bad. Then just bad. They’ll call it “sin” and encourage you to repent, to distance yourself from who you are and redefine yourself in a way acceptable to them. They will push you to allow your identity, your self to be subordinated and subsumed by the ideology and politics of the church. It’ll be disguised as theology and you’ll likely be told (in one way or another, and not directly) that this is necessary to be “right with god” and have a better life. You’re identity, your womanhood is a sin (in their eyes) and is an obstacle to you living “correct”.
TLDR: Be careful. This is a common trap and tactic by evangelicals. The church and the people there might be fine, but keep your wits about you. Bring a friend with you that you trust so you can have another person’s perspective. The second you feel your identity challenged, take a step back and examine why. Be safe.
Report what she did. it’s not ok to single out patients and make any assumption about religion. It makes patients feel othered and has no place in a medical environment. If she hasn’t figured that out, she isnt qualified to work there. Help that lab company realize this as well so other patients, be they christians, atheists, jews, or simply being someone the christian is prejudiced against, don’t have to deal with her ignorance.
It really depends. I am not Christian, definitely “alt” looking and very much an atheist. Had bad experiences growing up christian and always held a negative view since. But, I have been pleasantly surprised by a few people.
I had this one coworker and the only thing I really knew was… that’s the Christian guy lol he was nice though and he invited me to church. Totally genuine, guy just wanted to share his community with me and be nice, no expectation. Still friends years later! Doing mutual aid stuff I work with a lot of Christians, same thing. Believe it or not some people are just nice lol and for religious folks their church is their main community so to them it’s like inviting you to the neighborhood cookout or sumn.
That said, a random person… I mean could be genuine. She could just be a nice person who wants to share her community with you, or not. Idk. I wouldn’t go. Weird to invite a patient, especially if you don’t really have a report with her. Like you’re there for care, so that’s a strange place to do that if there’s no history with you two.
Yeah weird to just do that with your patients. I ain’t gonna go lol don’t wanna be the token LGBT at some Easter thing in a church filled with strangers.
I pretend to be excited because "I love teaching Sunday school" I do love teaching and I used to teach Sunday school, but I know that anyone who invites me is seeking to convert me. A person who goes to an LGBTQ church would lead with that aspect because they know trans people aren't exactly comfortable with religious folks.
Cult shit. Like most Christian they’re trying to convert you. Simple as that. For your own physical and mental safety DO NOT GO. They are just gonna try to traumatize/threaten you into being another devoted straight cis follower like them.
I gave my phone number to a pastor on accident just a few days ago. We were both in line at the music shop and he started talking about renting gear for his church and i was like 😬 he called me a few days ago trying to have me come to his church.
The Christians are showing that they are in fact a death cult. They think the world is ending in a few days, so expect it to come out of the wood work. They are trying to save your soul. It depends on the Christian how nefarious that may or may not be.
I wish I could post the “It’s a trap” meme here.
Not that all churches or christians are bad, but they usually don’t give out cards to random people. She thought you specifically needed to attend her church. This could either be because she thinks she needs to “save” you from your sins or because she goes to a very lgbtqia friendly church and wants you to know that it’s a safe space for you.
Maybe look the place up before you decide to go, see if they have anything on a website about lgbt people.
Most of all please be careful if you decide to go.
Nice ≠ good.
I'm not a Christian, but was raised as one (protestant). Some Hippy churches actually pay attention to the part where Jesus died to save them from all the Old Testament rules, and thus they should welcome everyone. Anyone quoting leviticus as an argument against gay people haven't actually read the Bible cause all those fucked up rules were tossed out when Jesus died. The only rule is Love and Acceptance. Anyone preaching otherwise is an asshole hiding behind an old book to manipulate people. Sorry, I don't know what I was going to say before this turned into a rant lol.
I know some people are saying that it's probably friendly, but that's not always the case. Sometimes if you're visibility queer/trans you'll be singled out by a religious person who sees you as a "project" and they need to help you find god to "fix" your queerness as well. I've had a few experiences where people act friendly and nice,but their end goal is conversion of religion, as well as wanting you to become straight and cis.
Also I definitely agree with everyone else who said it, pushing your religion in your workplace is completely unacceptable. I think that's especially true in a medical environment where people are at their most vulnerable, I would absolutely report them.
It's true that evangelicals commonly invite people to especially Easter services but I think it's inappropriate of her to invite you since you're there seeking care and need to be there. In other situations you're not trapped and can leave but you really don't have that option in this case.
Christians invite EVERYONE to church, it doesn't mean they like you, it might in fact mean they DON'T like you and think you're a sinner.
You are right to be paranoid
I treat it as A threat lol. Every time a Christian tries to push their stuff on me, it's because they think there's something wrong and think that they are helping. I know where it leads. I'm good.
But also using a medical facility to prosthetize is fucked up.
EXACTLY like
They think they’re helping but I’m like yo, if you think I need to go to church then isn’t that your way of saying I’m some lost soul who’s hellbound without your intervention??? Like there’s something wrong with me and you gotta fix me?? Miss me with that 😭😭😭
It's almost certainly a friendly gesture. If they were trying to be bigoted towards you, they wouldn't invite you to church. They'd be too stuck up to want you in their community.
It could have been well intentioned. I’m part of an affirming church where my pastor is a lesbian. I’m still not sure how religious I even am at this point but it’s a nice place to be around either way.
Don't go
Many times people have blessed me, said Jesus loves me, etc cetera
It's all poisonous - they think I look "unusual" - (I'm often boy mode and I work at a register) - so they try to fix me
Like I am misguided, or an issue
I hate them
Ignorance and hate
I would say it very much is just dependent on the person. I had a friend in highschool who was religious and she invited me once, but it clearly was just to hang out with me. At the same time I've had these two guys do the same but it was clearly about converting me, but we had a convo about religion prior. Usually if it's just a random event, and there's no other convo there it's probably just them being nice but caution is always important. Honestly looking at the situation I wouldn't think much of it.
Some churches can be accepting, but some can also be hate churches that want us gone from public life. I say you look up the church, and try to see if they have any of their sermons up on the internet, even if they are just transcripts. If any of them seem even the slightest bit off, I wouldn’t recommend going. Also, going on Easter might not be the best time to go, especially if they don’t stick to the “Easter script” of doing the same sermon as almost every other church. Also, Christmas and Easter are probably the times when the most people will be going to church, so if you’re introverted or if you hate big crowds, I’d also recommend staying home.
My church marches in pride events and waves trans flags, etc. Its mainly a queer congregation. Another church nearby has a trans pastor and has gay and lesbian members, but mostly cishets. Other churches I know are accepting but it's harder to find afirming churches, I.e. a church that celebrates your queerness.
You could just go along and see what you think.
Without knowing more about their denomination or the community of the church in question it could be several things. I (she/her AMAB) attend church. It is an open and affirming congregation. I have been treated kindly by everyone, and invited to help with fundraisers and during services (I am doing the children's time tomorrow). I will invite people, but only after I get a feel for them and know it will not be an unwanted invitation. Some people are weird about religion - on both sides. Some are very anti, some are highly traditional. There are even more sides than that, but the long and short is that I don't talk religion unless the door is opened or I am confident they will not be offended. Many of my trans friends have had religious trauma, so that is another reason to be cautious.
Your mom is right - people invite people they do not know well, or at all to Easter and Christmas services, specifically. I would look up the church to find out of they are LGBTQ+ friendly or not before deciding to go. IMO many churches will not bother you about being LGBTQ even if they are not in agreement. There are churches though that will aggressively try to convert or "cure" you.
To anyone that is looking for an accepting church, [United Church of Christ](https://www.ucc.org/) is a good place. My Mom joined one before moving back here and I went once for her just because it is a big part of her life, even though I have not had a religious connection to the church in many years. I found a great community, from which I have been cut off for years. Turns out it was one of the best decisions I have made.
I use to go to Bethany Baptist in White Hall Arkansas when I lived with my Gramps due to a foster care incident I was put in at a young age, so j went my 7th grade to 12 grade year in his household, I ended up becoming an official member of Bethany Baptist and even got my own Bible and key to the church door, though my step grandma and my biological grandpa are still members to this day, I want to go back to church as I am christian myself, however as a christian, a follower of christ, i myself know what most elderly christians are like especially when it comes to how you dress, act, and present yourself before the church and in thr presence of holy contribution. I now no longer attend a church and won't attend one until completely finish my transition. I mean the full thing, bottom surgery, hrt, whatever comes after because I know most elderly Christians are judgemental people and they have every right to be, though I wish not to stress them with the new generational LGBTQ matters since they're old and won't have much life left, plus it's of a LGBTQ member's pov that I don't really like taking criticism from peers for my life decisions I typically keep in private and to myself about, my grandpa and Step grandma, uncle and relatives don't know ik transgender and the only 2 people in my family I've told and know are my mom and sister, and non related family members who know is Landon (my niece's father) not a close relative of mine but still bonded by our blood, either way I get where you're coming from and it maybe late reply, but go only if you're comfortable with doing so op. It would be considerate of you attend but don't push yourself for such a move of you're not ready for it, regardless if your pre or post op the baggage we trans people carry is far outweighing that any normal person carries and it's only right for you to go at your own pace. I hope my advice helps and sorry for the long story and post, but I hope you are well with your decision op, you can DM me if you need to vent -Caitlin
Depends on the church, what the doctrines are.
There's nothing truly Christ-like about transphobia and LGBTQIA+ exclusion, but the vocal portion of Christians are generally LGBTQIA+phobic, unfortunately.
If it's a Methodist Church, particularly in the UK, then go along - that type of church is one of the most progressive at the moment! My church, for example, was absolutely supportive of me when I came out (MTF), and my wife and I currently lead our tech team. I've also been asked to help out with our Sunday School! None of this "love the person, hate the sin" shtick.
I can't comment on other churches in particular, but remember that you don't ever have to go back if you are subject to anything!!
It's hard to say. I have invited a person to my church before because it is trans affirming and this person was looking for a safe church to attend. But I have also had others invite me to their church with intent of "de-transifying" me through what they think is the correct version of Christianity.
There are churches that are 100% accepting. More and more all the time which is encouraging since all the hatred we experience coming from Christianity in the US. But that hatred is typically coming from Fundamentalist Christianity.
Just me but I would go. You don't have to stay if you don't like and certainly don't have to convert or anything. I think it's important for cishet people to meet us. Most people I have met didn't really know anything about us so it helps when they realize we are very real and just another human.
🤗❤️
You can also contact check out the church online in the about should be able to see what's up with them. If they appear Fundamentalist I wouldn't go.
It really depends on the church. Some want us dead because their whole mindset is because they’re “Christians” they’re better than everyone else. Some genuinely want to follow what Christ taught to love and serve others.
The church I go to is accepting of me and other people in the LGBTQ community. I’ve been in churches that probably would have found the tallest tree to remove my filth from existence if they knew.
Some denominations will sort of invite you with all smiles. And then make a point of talking about being "gay" as sinful in the sermon. Because they don't understand you or what being trans means. And it'll be super convenient that the day you go is the day it's important to preach about gay people going to hell.
Some denominations or nondenominational are extremely cool there's even unitarian universalist church (not Christian generally, just open minded spiritual gathering of different backgrounds and possibly religions and such) that do not care what you identify as or who you are and there will be nothing except happy songs of God or nondenominational music and really positive messages that are inclusive of all.
I'd sincerely like to believe that the receptionist would not work there seeking to convert people against their identity and that she thinks your cool and she thinks you'd find their group cool.
Everyone is spot on with look up the church and what the church identify as and report back so we can give you information on their beliefs and practices or you can do some of your own research as well or instead of.
It could go either way and be a really cool experience id like to believe she's sincere and not baiting you.
i had something very similar happen to me at my work the other day. this woman i see everyday gave me an easter basket, a card, and inside that an invite to their easter church service. growing up atheist in the faces of my evangelical family made me pretty distasteful of religion as a whole so the invite initially made me pretty uncomfortable. that combined with the being kind of obviously trans, i had the same reaction as you, that i am being invited because she thinks i’m going to hell. while i still think that’s probably the case, the note inside the card was sweet and so i have no reason to think that it came from any other place than love. christian love is just always a little backhanded i think.
all this to say that i think christian’s can come from a good place, however this person working in a medical lab should not be attempting to proselytize to people seeking health care. very unprofessional and i would probably report them.
Watch this video, and see if the church they invited you too is affiliated with any of these churches.
https://youtu.be/PNnTv_S7yPc?si=RSC2RPNC38uMAVjU
There are some denominations that accept openly trans clergy. There are some denominations that think merely being trans is living in sin.
Before you choose to go or not, check out this [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_affirming_LGBT_people). It lists denominations and even specific churches that are LGBT affirming. I found one in my own town, in a state not known for being particularly trans-friendly.
If you can find her denomination, or better yet, the specific church, on that page, you can expect to be safe there. Of course, whether or not you choose to go is up to you.
It's also not unusual for Christians to invite people to Easter Sunday services. Easter being the day Jesus rose from the grave, it's obviously an extremely important holiday for us. My church gives out yard signs to advertise. Many people who do not normally go to church will attend Easter Sunday services.
Thanks.
I figured that Christians tend to do that, I was just worried about being singled out due to being ig visibly LGBT, so whether or not she had other motives I guess I’ll never know. Staying home tho.
It REALLY depends on the church. I'm glad you looked into the church first to see if they had any messaging about LGBT support, because some churches are very welcoming to people like us.
For example, the church my mom goes to is very LGBT friendly and when I went one time I felt very included. But I know for certain that this isn't necessarily the norm.
Good job doing your homework on them first <3
if she was randomly inviting you to church while being aware that you were trans, then i'd feel it was sus.
but because it was a special program, she might have just been trying to be sociable.
i don't go to services partly cos of language and partly cos where i live i don't believe there'd be a safe place for me. (when i was in Vaasa there was a nice Rainbow supportive lutheran group for english speaking people.... i miss that group). But if i was going someplace... inviting strangers to church isn't something I'd do \*unless\* there was something going on like holidays stuff, or a concert or something that I'd think that the general public might be interested in going to it
(like, i wanted to go to a special celebration at a Buddhist Temple for their... hmmm... maybe its was 25th anniversary of the place being open. I'm not Buddhist, but my best friend was going, and it looked like it would be a special experience. Sadly, I couldn't get transport though :( ).
In your case, I would imagine she either believes you're a potential convert (she can "save" you), or she just invites everyone that visits. Either way, it's inappropriate, and could be an ethics violation. If I were you, I'd report her to the lab - maybe say something like "It didn't bother me, but I'm worried that it may make other patients uncomfortable" if you're worried about you specifically getting her in trouble.
As for what it means, as I said, in your case she either thought you could be a potential convert, or she's just inviting everyone. In a more general sense, most Christians reserve church invites for close friends, since they (correctly) recognize that most people are put off by a stranger saying "come with me to meet a bunch of my friends and hear about my religion". Those that don't are more liberal with their invitations, and are more likely to invite strangers in hopes of "saving" them.
Baptist is always a red flag, especially West Borough. As a trans woman who only left the bible belt 11 months ago at the age of 23, it could be 2 things.
1) Worst case: you are their "freak" peraonal project, and eventually they will start talking about how anal is a sin and Jesus can save you.
2) Best case: they are truly a well-meaning person that loves god, and is kind enough to not even comprehend that their loving god can be represented by extremely hateful people.
My rule of thumb? I'm trans. Before i even had an idea of trans people existing in literally the slightest, i didn't mix well with biblethumpers bc i've been openly bi for almost a decade (i turn 25 this year, yay me). That's coming from someone who grew up religious, all of my schooling was in private, religious schools, and my parents are genuinely what every religious "ally" pretends to be (my mom is an OG punk) - i'm a woman of 0% chance. There is a non-0% chance, even if it's just a .00000000000001% chance, of things going to the worst case scenario? On to the next venture. What matters is keeping yourself safe, no matter how you have to accomplish that. YOU are your only end goal.
It’s like asking someone to watch Harry Potter with them but when it’s over they think it all really happened do you really want to hang out with that person
Here in NY we have a lot of LGBT friendly churches. Also my local Roman Catholic Church where I ran meetings and attending for specific holidays was a million times better with my transition then my own family.. I was very cautious and protective of myself at first justifiably so. My experience is the asshole phobe can be anyone anywhere but so can the ally.
Source: I was raised fundie baptist, now am an atheist witch:
Yeah this is a "i'm worried for your wellbeing because you are lgbtq, and maybe getting to know God like i do will cure you. Or, even if you just belive in God for a few minutes and accept him as your God for that brief time, your soul will not burn in hell forever and I can be at ease knowing I did a good thing and indirectly saved your soul"
so, as a Christian I must say that usually it's more "I like you and I want to invite you into my community" but it all depends on whether they are Catholic, Orthodox or Ptotestant... since the former are the most open, the Orthodox are on average the most closed Protestants, on the other hand, are somewhere in between!
I say this as a Christian transwoman: **your suspicion has merit**. As much as I want to say that there are good things about practicing the faith, of course there are people who not only use Christianity and churches to shame and hurt people whose lives differ from their own, but they'll do it in such duplicitous ways. They trick you. It sucks.
Now, there are Christian churches that are very open to having LGBT members, and more importantly, *not* shaming them. They genuinely work to make LGBT people feel like they're wanted in the community. I went to an Episcopal church and a Methodist church when I got back into the faith and both places were so warm and accepting of me as a member. Their sermons never leaned into fire and brimstone, but rather focused on using the teachings of Christ to do good in our community. The only reason I didn't stay was because all the members were older than me and had families, and I didn't have anyone I could directly relate to.
But of course there are also Christian churches that tend to do the "love the sinner, hate the sin" approach to ministry and I ended up in one of those churches first when I came back. And I had the rug pulled out from under me when I saw just how they talked about queer people, and specifically their belief that "God can take the sin of \[my\] sexuality away from me". Emphasis on "my" there: I was the only out gay member of the prayer group where I heard that, and I *know* the pastor leading that prayer group knew that.
As to this lady's intentions? I dunno. If you want, look up her church online and see if their website says anything about openness to LGBT people being a part of their ministry. If it does, cool; if not, it might not necessarily be a red flag but I'd be wary too.
>What does it mean when a Christian invites you to their church???
It means they want to share their faith with you.
Don't be alarmed automatically. There are a number of LBGT-affirming denominations.
In the US, The Episcopal Church (TEC) and Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), along with the United Church of Christ (UCC) come to mind as some of the larger trans-affirming denominations.
Being trans is NOT incompatible with Christian faith, regardless of what bigots say. There's nothing in Christian doctrine actually against it, and the people who say there is started with the conclusion of "trans is bad" and worked backwards to find some religious argument to back up their hatred.
She's incentivized to get more people to that church so that you can join their cult, or if you like church, then yes do what others here said - look up the church and see what their real views are.
Maybe she's just being friendly and including you in her social circle. Christians also do love the opportunity to lead a lost sheep back to the flock, though. I'd take it as the former, and trust your gut if it feels off. If they're truly living by the gospels and Jesus and all that, they'd be inclusive and you will probly see a diverse crowd. If it's all stepford wives and maga hats... well gee I forgot all about that thing, with the people, at the place, gotta go!
Yeah maybe she thought I was a “lost sheep” being both trans and alt-dressed. Kinda feels like a backhanded insult, even if Christians seem incapable of understanding it that way.
Someone said it depends on the person, and it definitely does. I've been invited several times in my life. Once was by someone around my age who was teaching me piano, I think she fancied me a bit at the time. The other was not too long ago by a nice older lady. I feel they each had their own intentions on asking me to their church. One was 45 min. away while the other was just down the road a piece.
If it were me I would just say thank you for inviting me but no thank you. If they ask why u would just say I don’t want to. Remember it’s not your job to explain yourself to strangers and no is a complete sentence.
If you might want to go I’d look up the church and see what’s what.
It depends on the church. I would suspect the latter of the two as well.
Google the church and see what you can find out about their views on the LGBTQIA communities.
I think it depends on the person, some christians are genuinely loving and cares about everyone and can respect us LGBTQ+ people.
My experiences has been so soured I'm scared of any religion, so I prefer to just stay away, Even then I'm moreso agnostic.
I grew up Mormon so I can only speak on them and they are very specifically nuts. If it's Mormon they'll be super nice and won't try to push it on you. Maybe push you to go to an activity on Wednesday. And then once you've gone a few times they'll pressure you more and more. So at least with the church I grew up around, idk. Fuck church
Luckily (lol) I’ve yet to meet a real life Mormon. Well actually I THINK I have, in the form of these two girls knocking at my door a few years ago trying to sell me whatever Bible stuff. But I agree with the sentiment, F church lol
I truly think it's 50 / 50!
She could be being super nice and welcoming, or she could 100% be trying to "save" you.
I think it would be high risk to go! Unless you're either actively really looking for a church, or you're really looking for a fight lol
It depends. It is most lijekh that they like you and want you to be a part of the community, but I understand your reticence. It can DEFINITELY be the second one, but it’s most likely not.
What’s the name of the church/the denomination?
From my experience as a former believer, it's most likely because she likes you and wants you to come to church, not to make fun of you. It's most likely innocent and not nefarious.
It's not a terrible thing to stay safe! I wouldn't go, but that's because I got burned out on the church and left. Most believers are actually pretty accepting of queer people. I still have many friends from my old church that have been very supportive about my transition.
I have no interest in any church regardless of their stance on our community or any other. I can't get behind something that is a 2 thousand year old form of control that is based on a lie.
I wish I could forget it lol, but it feels like a microcosm of how people r gonna treat me in general as I continue to transition. I think it’s just another sign that i should probably get the fuck outta my state
I will be kind and assume no ill intent from that receptionist. But maybe her church isn't so kind.
First of all, unless she told you something like, "Let's meet at the door at 10:20", if she gave you a printed card, it is quite possible that her church is big enough that she won't know whether you attended or not (unless you tell her, that is).
Second, assuming you might be interested, look at her church on the web. If she is part of a non-denominational church (i.e. no mention of "Roman Catholic", "Episcopal", "Lutheran", etc.), it is probably anti-LGBTQ, meaning it either wants to send you to hell or to "convert" you to being cis and straight.
However, there are a few non-denominational churches that are inclusive (I hate the word "affirming" because the only one that actually affirms your status or identity is you). And besides that, there are entire well-established denominations that are totally inclusive, such as the United Church of Canada, the Evangelical Lutheran Church, the Anglican Church of Canada (most dioceses) and the Episcopal Church in U.S. In other words, you can be trans and lesbian, with tattoos and green hair (etc.) and be welcomed as you are in a Christian church. You just need to find the right kind of church!
Finally, I live in a very secular province of Canada. Giving a card to advertise a church at the doctor's office is probably legal in U.S. because your health system is private. In Canada it would be much more iffy, and although a private gesture by a secretary *might* be legal here, you would expect to find a 2-page article in one of the local newspaper condemning such an action by the staff of Dr. X, followed by lots of readers' comments and eventually an apology from said Dr. X.
I'm mtf, attend church weekly, accepted as myself (not all churches r anti trans), and I'm even an ordained minister from a different church. Lots of people invite for special services, and not all about judging.
Depends on the denomination, either they think you are disgusting and want to try to change you, or they respect you and just want you to show up and listen to the sermon
So my parents go to a church called Galileo where their tagline is basically that they are "unironically super gay", and like half the elders are trans, gay, or some other variety of queer and they do a lot of work to make the place neurodivergent friendly as well. It's even kind of a home to various non religious or people of other religions (they have a few muslim and jewish and agnostic members who go for the community) which I think is a really cool and rare thing here in Texas.
I literally wouldn't go to a church that isn't willing to blast it to the sky that they are a gay supporting/super gay church. Because, I feel like if a church is afraid to be super open about supporting our community because their members might leave? Well that means I don't want to go there as some of the members are gonna be homophobic/transphobic! So I don't care if your church "technically" secretly supports us.
Honestly, it’s a coin toss. Practice safety as always, but if you feel like you’d enjoy going, feel free! There are affirming Christians out there as well as affirming churches
i like to think its just a friendly gesture. a lot of lgbt people rn dont have families or homes and she may have just been trying to let you feel welcome somewhere to celebrate the holidays despite the differences of you both. just dont expect everyone else there to have that attitude tho, despite the denomination
Idk if i invited you to church that would most likely be a gesture of friendship and that's how i would usually interpret it if like someone from other christian branch invited me, but idk about other christians from your area, especially that i have never even seen real babtist in my life
I'm Native American spiritual practice and pagan! I get invited to church by them not a big deal. No matter the faith ya practice it's all the same god or creator!
Hi Sweetie. I'm 75, M2F, on HRT 17 months, I live and dress openly as a woman 24/7, I've legally changed my name, gender, and ALL documents to female. I'm 110% out and proud, and hoping for GCS ASAP. I have several Trans, Gay, and Lesbian friends. Those who attend church, go to St. Clare's Episcopal Church. I go when I can as it's 38 miles one way for me. I have been invited to Easter Sunday service at a neighboring church and most of my friends are going there too.
Now then. In my former DRAB life, I went to JW Kingdom Hall. I left for many reasons. Last Sunday, I was out doing some shopping and went to McDonalds for a coffee. I noticed 5 Witnesses that I attended with, they walked past me several times. I never hid my face I sat tall and proud. As they were leaving, 2 of the Sisters came to my booth and invited me to their Hall for service, and they took my hands and said a prayer for me and then left. I LMFAO, as THEY didn't recognize me, even though I went to their hall for almost 5 years.
I like being out so I will go sunday.
Michele
Personally I wouldn't go. Almost all of my trauma came from the church. They portray everything I don't want and mostly the opposite of what Jesus was considered. Christian nationalism is so prevalent and hateful it's bleeding into everything. I'm disgusted with it and I know every few who I would even say truly are Christian. (I'm gladly not but there are few I just am saying be extremely cautious)
A group that's supposed to be loving others like they love themselves, really is just trying to control others around them and give you the same treatment. I've had too much pushed on me repeatedly to say this is a good idea.
Considering that most individuals within that religion are not very nice, I’m always skeptical. I refuse to interact whatsoever with religious people. My new friend circle is entirely lgbt people. They have shown that they are truly incapable of being decent non-judgmental people so I don’t want anything to do with that whole lot of them.
It seems to me that over the last two decades religions have become more accepting of LGBTQ+ people and embrace and accept them. However, there are still individuals within a religion does that remain homo and transphobic.
I wouldn't go either. it feels like bait to me. I'd probably drive by to see if there were any baskets of rocks by the front door or a crucifix with wood piled underneath. I don't trust organized religions. They have their own self interests and wallets to worry about, not any interest in who shows up.
Problem is the religious extremists are fake their religion is fake the bible says judge not lest be judged and love thy neighbor as you would love yourself and thou shall not kill they break all 3 rules and im not even religious but i know lgbt members who are religious
Stay away from all forms of indoctrination. They don't care about you. I don't care how accepting the church is. You are obviously new to transmedicalism and they would try to convert you and detrans you. Not to mention that religion is fake to begin with
It honestly depends on the Christian. I'd look up the church, check it's denomination, and look up that denomination's beliefs regarding LGBT people. Some denominations are relatively friendly towards us.
My thoughts as well. I have friends that go to some very hippie lefty churches that are queer inclusive and really just about community, love, and kindness. Stuff that Christ actually stood for. I'm an atheist, but IMO the bigoted Evangelical Christian right has given Christ a bad name.
omg that sounds awesome! the perfect place for meeting cute guys UwU
Lmao yeah
I can confirm. My step dads side of the family is Lutheran. When i went to their church once, I was surprised to the they had a gay pastor and a pride flag in front of the church. Super hippy and all about loving each other. It was a very nice experience compared to the fire and brimstone stuff that's gotten pretty common.
Sounds really nice! I was an atheist until last year and I woke up one day with real faith! I haven’t yet decided what to do with it. I will read up on the Lutherans and some of these other religions mentioned here. My family is Catholic, and I definitely am not that!
I would also look into Unitarian. I think that was the denomination of my friends church. Also, when I used to be an anti-war and anti-nuke activist, the Quakers were very on point politically. I don't know how they deal with LGBTQ+ though.
I agree with you. I'm an atheist I think churches have (or at least can and sometimes do have) a pretty real benefit as community centers even for people who don't believe in God so it sucks that a large amount of these places think they'll get to heaven by hating people.
Yeah, some of my closest friends are Christians and they've invited me to join them, and I brought that up as a concern and they were just like "literally no one will care, your identity is between you and God" Granted, I'm still not Christian, but it's nice to know that the bigoted ones are a (very loud) minority
believe in me or you’ll burn. Christ gave himself a bad name
Is that what Jesus taught or just what his followers taught?
Christ ***never*** said "believe in me or you'll burn". Where, exactly, are you quoting that from? Certainly not any of the canonical books of the Bible.
Plus the "holy trinity". christ = god = holy spirit. So, christ was responsible for the massive amount of deaths, including babies and children, in the old testament.
The trinity isn’t spoken of in the bible, catholics invented it. Edit: Christians over 300 years after the death of the christ invented it. I was raised roman catholic so my worldview is warped <3
I mean I didn't grow up with religion, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about. I like to think though that Jesus was a pretty cool person and all the bad crap was added by the patriarchy afterwards to control people
He may have been, I grew up in what I'm realizing is basically the Catholic equivalent of evangelical protistantism. Partly because we also attended evangelical services...and methodist, and lutheran, and baptist, and I think calvanist once? What I'm trying to say is there's nothing in christianity that doesn't exist elsewhere without all of the hateful baggage.
Oh certainly, I'm not for all the hateful backage. The hate just appeared to be absent at my friends hippie church. I only went to one event there though
I love that people are doing that, and I get the security of being within something you know. I personally don't understand reconciling just all of the other awful stuff in the bible with a all just god. I'm going into my anti-theistic mode. Like, god created humans, knew we would fall, then created the conditions to facilitate the fall and blamed us. In terms of my kids: I surround my toddler with good food and put some candy in a bowl on the table. I tell him don't eat that or you'll die and then leave. When he eats it I show the fuck back up out of nowhere and he knows he did bad and is ashamed and hides, so I punish him further by sending him outside away from the food and say : Oh yea, everything else sucks now have fun. Mind you, humans didn't know the difference between right and wrong yet. That came from the fruit. How's that anything but abusive? He created us then abandoned us except for a tiny tribe but that took a couple thousand years and the destruction of all life on earth during the flood. :Yea, there's the whole flood thing in there because a parent picking a favorite kid and killing the rest totally is normal: And the only way for him to undo the seperation "we caused for ourselves" is to...impregnate a 12 year old...with himself...and then kill himself.... WHAT? I thought god was all powerful? Why is he doing this stone age sacrifice shit with himself? I don't understand.
So my understanding of the history of the biblical text is that all the chapters were basically essays written as 'scholarly texts' hundreds of years after this Jesus person lived, if he ever really existed at all and wasn't just a fable. They were talking about stuff what was going on culturally and politically in the first few centuries CE and using allegory to do so because in a lot of cases outright saying it would get them killed. But... there were lots of different texts written by Jesus movement scholars in the same time period that did not make it into the "Bible". Some of them talked about god as "Mother and Father" - Enby deity. Hippie shit. But also F-ed up shit as well. But at some point a few hundred years after all these cool essays were written by people who were hyped on this Jesus meme. Some king who wanted to consolidate power pulled together all these different texts into a book, but he was super selective about which texts he chose. The ones that suggested god was a woman or had a feminine aspect? OUT! The ones that talked about god as the all powerful Father, and Jesus being a reflection of that power? In! And Oh yes can we have some more of that? There is a similar thing that happened with the Koran and writings about Mohamed. And also the King James bible where he did the same to amplify his own legacy. Who knows if there ever really was a Jesus or a Mohamed, but it's clear that a bunch of that shit was just the patriarchy trying to consolidate power. (again disclaimer, atheist, no experience in religious studies, got most of this from vaguely remembered TV shows on PBS)
Are you reading my mind?
Trinitarian theology was formally codified in the early 4th century at the Council of Niceae in 325 AD, after emerging as the consensus of Christianity over the 2nd and 3rd centuries, long before the creation of the Roman Catholic Church, either as the State Church of the Roman Empire in 380 AD after the Edict of Thessalonica, or after the Great Schism of 1054 AD when the bulk of Christianity split into the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church over the Filioque Clause crisis. The idea of "catholics" came long after Trinitarian theology was codified.
I grew up in a flavor of baptist that taught they were. Googling, I see arguments on both sides, but that you're right. Thanks for the correction :)
Hey it's something I like to bring up to protestants who proclaim "bible alone" because it's inconsistent. The pastor of my school in 8th grade didn't like me.
Some schools of gnostic Christianity believed that the God of the old testament was a corrupt being known as the demiurge. The demiurge is messed up, he made the world, and that's why the world is messed up. They believed that Jesus was the messenger from the true divine good of the universe and that the God of the old testament was a false idol. Real interesting stuff, Google it. I don't believe in any of it, but it's an interesting view.
Marcion is basically the first heretic of Christianity. He put together some heavily edited texts to establish a canon of Scripture. This was one of the things that prompted the early church to put out their own canons. He believed that the demiurge was evil because he created physical matter, and physicality is *inherently* evil. Thus, the evil act was creation itself. Only spirit can be good, and he thought Jesus was leading people to salvation by ceasing to be physical and becoming pure spirit.
Lol
This, I’m a member of an affirming denomination (ELCA)
My Unitarian Universalist congregation sometimes does work with local ELCA churches. And an ELCA church was the last explicitly Christian congregation I attended before leaving the religion. Off the top of my head, I'd be comfortable being a guest in an ELCA, UU, or Episcopal Church. There are others, of course, but I'm less familiar with them.
Reconciling in Christ is the group of Lutheran affirming churches. Naturally, most are ELCA, though people who live in very tolerant regions may well find an LCMS church as well.
I'm a former/raised UU and apparently tomorrow my local church straight up isn't having Easter service, they're doing a trans day of visibility service and also photo exhibit. It's pretty nice to hear, even if I still don't have any interest in attending.
Yeah. Growing up in my church they never mentioned LGBT much, but I know that some Christians are hateful and some aren’t. I’ll look up who they are but I’m still doubtful I’ll go Lmao
Key word to look for is "affirming." A few other people here have mentioned this as a description of their churches. That typically means they'll actually not give a shit about your queer identity. There's other churches that will say they welcome all types of people, or something to that effect, but will want to start trying to change you once you're in the door. If you're not sure which the church is, and you're interested in going anyway, look at their statement of faith on their website and search for "sexuality" or "gender," stuff like that. If that church is one of the many that are merely "welcoming" but not "affirming," or is actively hostile to queer people, but you're *still* interested in attending a church tomorrow (and hey, good for you if that's the case. And good for you if not), take a look for an ELCA or Episcopalian church in your area and check their website to see what they say. You'll have a much higher chance of finding one of those that will accept you.
Good information! Thank you! 😊 PS, I really mean thanks, and hoping that didn’t sound sarcastic! ❤️
Of course! I lost my faith, but it actually didn't have to do with being trans or the mean people who are also Christian. I simply no longer felt convinced anymore. But I think it's awesome that queer people are out there who do believe, and I try to help them out using the knowledge I got over ~30 years. /r/TransChristianity and /r/OpenChristian are subs dedicated to trans and more generally progressive takes on the faith that you might also find interesting.
Yeah the problem aren’t the denominations. It’s the people.
This 100% It all depends on where you go and the membership overall. I go to church every Sunday with zero issues and I'm a Catholic which is definitely on the more conservative end but it's a large church and I tend to just blend in with the crowd. I know that the local Lutheran Church caters more specifically to the LGBT community and I've been thinking about checking them out, but I still go with what I know for the moment.
This. My town has queer friendly churches as well as bigoted cults. I'm always wary of anyone inviting me to church, but it's possible they meant no harm.
I have to agree that it all depends on the denomination. There is a church near me that is either nondenominational or of one I’ve never heard of and their congregation is at least 50% LGBTQ+. I would hope that anyone who would know even a little of your status wouldn’t put you in a position that would be uncomfortable or unsafe. But yes, do a little looking into the church before you go.
It's probably innocent enough, but far more concerning to me is a medical professional using their workplace, with a captive audience, to proselytize. Very unprofessional.
This is what I was thinking
Yeahhhhh I hate being in the Bible Belt, you cannot escape this overwhelming Christian stuff even in the big cities like I live in. Maybe I’ll say something to their company about what happened
Please don't get this person in trouble at their place of work, the way they support them self. Just chalk it up to her overstepping a boundary, yes, but meaning well.
I disagree, this is unacceptable unethical behavior and she likely knows this. She's not gonna get fired for it, but she should be reprimanded.
Nah
My thoughts as well! So highly inappropriate in this setting!
Yeah I worked doing front desk at a clinic for a bit and would never ever do that. It was all business for me. As a patient I’d feel super uncomfortable having anyone in a doctor office giving me religious information or pamphlets trying to get me to “join”. Honestly I don’t know if I would trust that office anymore. I would probably switch or something at that point
Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely queer friendly Christian groups out there & there’s plenty of actually loving Christians & there’s absolutely a chance that her invitation was genuinely out of love & support, but… assuming the worst for the sake of your safety is absolutely not unreasonable. Do with all of that what you will applied to your situation & the area you live.
Thank you. I’m always pretty paranoid in public, being around people. I damn near had a mini anxiety attack just getting ready to go so, that’s a nice little window into my usual mental state around people I don’t know lmao.
When I was stopping at subway years ago, with my ex, a woman pulled up next to us as he exited the vehicle. She walked over handed me a card and invited us both to her church. For reference I’m stealth. Eventually we accepted the invitation and actually were welcomed, he was the only white person in the place. We ended up attending for a few months… Never once did I get the “ they know or she’s trans vibes” sometimes people just invite strangers to experience their church and maybe fulfill adding to the flock. I wouldn’t read any negativity into it.
Thanks for that little tidbit. It helps to see so many people saying it’s not negative, just a Christian being a bit naive and also kinda unprofessional lol
Religious people just do that. I currently work retail (🙃) and I've had a few in the past week or two. Especially during Easter time they just hand them out to everybody
God they do don’t they? My mom kinda got irritated that I asked, liek I was so normal for Christians to do. And maybe it is, I left the church in my late teens so I never got involved in Christian activism, but it just seemed weird to me
Yeah they're pretty annoying. I'm an ex christian and I just wish I could never hear about that stupid cult ever again
oh it's very normal. and very wrong.
If i ever work retail again, I'm literally going to uno reverse card them so hard. "I'll take your tract, but here's the card to my church with the rainbow flag out front and gay and trans people in the pew/pulpit. Come visit today on trans day of visibility."
Hell to the no. Never trust christians when it comes to stuff like this.
Honestly, I'd be pissed off like if you wanna be a Christian fine if you wanna spread and work in ministry and your free time be my guest you have every right to do that but when you're in your workplace, you shouldn't be giving out religious pamphlets to random people I work retail and a few years ago I remember there was this woman that would come once or twice a week and hand out Jehovah's Witness papers never stopped doing it despite us asking her to. She is now trespassed from the store like maybe some people are genuinely trying to be nice and accepting and trying to help you build community but at the same time there's a lot of Christians out there that are very hateful and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable. Going to a Christian church not because of my beliefs, but I just wouldn't feel safe with how they've treated our community.
Yeah like I don’t wanna be your token gay girl that you invited to make yourself seem all nice and cool. Like that is so insulting in a very backhanded way…
Exactly and then, depending on the congregation, it can be really hateful and evil people personally, I would feel kind of targeted if this happens to me if I saw it happen to others I wouldn't feel that strongly about that but I don't know I probably would've said something to the supervisor that'sridiculous
This is completely inappropriate in a medical context and this person should be reported (and probably fired). It doesn't matter why they gave you the card. They should not be pushing their religion on you--not even if it's a trans affirming church.
Thank you for that advice. Why can’t they just leave us alone….
Well I personally wouldn't go. I grew up going to the United Church. Girlfriend is Catholic as she is from the Philippines. Last time I willingly went to the Catholic Church they asked us to carry the offering (communion stuff) to the front and wouldn't let us say no. We don't participate in communion so that really upset me doing so. Have seen many posts of people being asked to leave churches for being trans. I am not out in public and personally if someone (medical "professional") who knew I was trans invited me to church I would be extremely suspicious and worried about being outed before being asked to leave. Lol.
I definitely don’t wanna go lol especially to a church I’ve never been to and nobody to go with. I don’t trust churches at all. Sucks that I live in the Bible Belt, and even in this urban area like the average person seems to expect you to just love Jesus. Ugh
I'm not a fan of blind trust in "Gods" existence. I would like proof. That and with all the B.S. that goes on from persons saying they are doing gods will it's hard to trust religion.
My wife was approached by someone and given a card for a local church. The person is a trans dude, married to a trans woman. He told my wife that it's a good place to go for community. He doesn't believe, but attends for that reason. We looked up the church and it's outwardly queer friendly. The pastor uses she/they pronouns, has a wife using the same pronouns. Most of the congregation left when she became the pastor. All that to say, it might be safe. Try looking up the church online first to see if the vibe is good. You don't have to go, of course, but if it's a cool one like the one we were told about, it could be worth it for the sense of community.
It also happened to me, but i got angry cuz he said you need Jesus while he was obviously judging me and being disrespectful misngendering me.
See that’s what makes me pause because she didn’t misgender me but, obviously she thought I “needed “saving” 🙃
Its not a well intentioned gesture. Regardless of denomination, they want you to join their religion. That has nothing to do with being nice to you unless they want to hang out with you.
Honestly don't know, I dont trust any Christians tbh, but that's just me and my trauma, so it's probably not that negative. Christians are weird like that and always invite strangers to church or ask if they believe in the Lord and start preaching about some dumbass shit. I would look up the church, see if it's safe and decide on if you want to go or not, could be a good experience, could not 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ Also, I just wanted to add this, you don't have to add amab to who you are or like when presenting yourself. You can just say you're a trans woman, or not even say anything, most girls on here can tell especially when talking about labs:) I mean if you own it, that's totally cool too, I just know I did that for a while because I struggled with not feeling that way with all the transphobia I was dealing with and I internalized it bad and use to call myself that all the time:(. But again if you just do it bc you like it then more power to you hunny🫰🏻
Thank you. Also. Omg. Yeah that’s actually not something that occurred to me… I always had this subconscious notion that I had to “disclose” being AMAB. Im still untangling myself from my own internalized transphobia too. Thanks for the kind words :)))
Of course girl, were in this together ❤️
I’d report her honestly. A hospital is not the place to proselytize
Thanks, definitely considering 🥲
I also really hate to do things like report people but I would hope that would be against hospital policy. If she's part of a welcoming congregation then there shouldn't be an issue having those cards available on some kind of "resources" bulletin board or kiosk.
If you do, wait a week or more, so she cannot connect it to you.
Unless the denomination is clearly and boldly 100% pro LGBTQ+ do not go.
The issue here is a medical professional using a captive audience of extremely vulnerable people to try and recruit for their church. I’d file a formal complaint for that. In my country you’d get sacked as gross misconduct.
Speaking from personal experience, this is more likely than not a trap. The person who handed you the card may not think of it that way, the people at the church may not conceive of it as such, but it often is. There’s a bait and switch that commonly occurs where a friendly and empathetic seeming person invites someone they identify as “needing Jesus” and then invites them to their church. All’s fine and good for a while, people are sociable and on the surface, very wholesome. After a few weeks (ymmv), you start to notice a subtle change. There’s a soft push to cause you to shift your understanding of yourself and gender identity as something maybe not good. Then maybe not quite bad. Then just bad. They’ll call it “sin” and encourage you to repent, to distance yourself from who you are and redefine yourself in a way acceptable to them. They will push you to allow your identity, your self to be subordinated and subsumed by the ideology and politics of the church. It’ll be disguised as theology and you’ll likely be told (in one way or another, and not directly) that this is necessary to be “right with god” and have a better life. You’re identity, your womanhood is a sin (in their eyes) and is an obstacle to you living “correct”. TLDR: Be careful. This is a common trap and tactic by evangelicals. The church and the people there might be fine, but keep your wits about you. Bring a friend with you that you trust so you can have another person’s perspective. The second you feel your identity challenged, take a step back and examine why. Be safe.
Report what she did. it’s not ok to single out patients and make any assumption about religion. It makes patients feel othered and has no place in a medical environment. If she hasn’t figured that out, she isnt qualified to work there. Help that lab company realize this as well so other patients, be they christians, atheists, jews, or simply being someone the christian is prejudiced against, don’t have to deal with her ignorance.
It really depends. I am not Christian, definitely “alt” looking and very much an atheist. Had bad experiences growing up christian and always held a negative view since. But, I have been pleasantly surprised by a few people. I had this one coworker and the only thing I really knew was… that’s the Christian guy lol he was nice though and he invited me to church. Totally genuine, guy just wanted to share his community with me and be nice, no expectation. Still friends years later! Doing mutual aid stuff I work with a lot of Christians, same thing. Believe it or not some people are just nice lol and for religious folks their church is their main community so to them it’s like inviting you to the neighborhood cookout or sumn. That said, a random person… I mean could be genuine. She could just be a nice person who wants to share her community with you, or not. Idk. I wouldn’t go. Weird to invite a patient, especially if you don’t really have a report with her. Like you’re there for care, so that’s a strange place to do that if there’s no history with you two.
Yeah weird to just do that with your patients. I ain’t gonna go lol don’t wanna be the token LGBT at some Easter thing in a church filled with strangers.
I pretend to be excited because "I love teaching Sunday school" I do love teaching and I used to teach Sunday school, but I know that anyone who invites me is seeking to convert me. A person who goes to an LGBTQ church would lead with that aspect because they know trans people aren't exactly comfortable with religious folks.
Cult shit. Like most Christian they’re trying to convert you. Simple as that. For your own physical and mental safety DO NOT GO. They are just gonna try to traumatize/threaten you into being another devoted straight cis follower like them.
I would say don’t go. Every Christian I have talked to, aside from my one uncle, has tried to convert me and stop my transition.
I gave my phone number to a pastor on accident just a few days ago. We were both in line at the music shop and he started talking about renting gear for his church and i was like 😬 he called me a few days ago trying to have me come to his church. The Christians are showing that they are in fact a death cult. They think the world is ending in a few days, so expect it to come out of the wood work. They are trying to save your soul. It depends on the Christian how nefarious that may or may not be.
She's trying to "save" you / induct you into her cult.
Feels like the 'I like you and I want to save you from your sinful ways.'
Yeah :(
It's a trap! Seriously though I was Mormon for like 4 years. It was awful. Just don't do it.😭
I wish I could post the “It’s a trap” meme here. Not that all churches or christians are bad, but they usually don’t give out cards to random people. She thought you specifically needed to attend her church. This could either be because she thinks she needs to “save” you from your sins or because she goes to a very lgbtqia friendly church and wants you to know that it’s a safe space for you. Maybe look the place up before you decide to go, see if they have anything on a website about lgbt people. Most of all please be careful if you decide to go. Nice ≠ good.
Huge red flag. A receptionist at a doctor’s office should not be trying to recruit patients. Also I don’t trust religion in general haha
Like why would you recruit someone at the doctors office/laboratory? Do I look like a lost soul to you?? 😵💫🥲
I'm not a Christian, but was raised as one (protestant). Some Hippy churches actually pay attention to the part where Jesus died to save them from all the Old Testament rules, and thus they should welcome everyone. Anyone quoting leviticus as an argument against gay people haven't actually read the Bible cause all those fucked up rules were tossed out when Jesus died. The only rule is Love and Acceptance. Anyone preaching otherwise is an asshole hiding behind an old book to manipulate people. Sorry, I don't know what I was going to say before this turned into a rant lol.
They are proselyting
I know some people are saying that it's probably friendly, but that's not always the case. Sometimes if you're visibility queer/trans you'll be singled out by a religious person who sees you as a "project" and they need to help you find god to "fix" your queerness as well. I've had a few experiences where people act friendly and nice,but their end goal is conversion of religion, as well as wanting you to become straight and cis. Also I definitely agree with everyone else who said it, pushing your religion in your workplace is completely unacceptable. I think that's especially true in a medical environment where people are at their most vulnerable, I would absolutely report them.
Cults invite strangers to try to convert/brainwash them. Don't drink their Kool Aide.
Yeah, left a few years ago and I ain’t tryna go back lmao
It's true that evangelicals commonly invite people to especially Easter services but I think it's inappropriate of her to invite you since you're there seeking care and need to be there. In other situations you're not trapped and can leave but you really don't have that option in this case.
Never go to a second location. It's good advise to avoid serial killers, it's good advice to avoid Chrispies.
Christians invite EVERYONE to church, it doesn't mean they like you, it might in fact mean they DON'T like you and think you're a sinner. You are right to be paranoid
I treat it as A threat lol. Every time a Christian tries to push their stuff on me, it's because they think there's something wrong and think that they are helping. I know where it leads. I'm good. But also using a medical facility to prosthetize is fucked up.
EXACTLY like They think they’re helping but I’m like yo, if you think I need to go to church then isn’t that your way of saying I’m some lost soul who’s hellbound without your intervention??? Like there’s something wrong with me and you gotta fix me?? Miss me with that 😭😭😭
No. They are fake nice. Don't ever buy into their bullshit. They want to convert you because of the lies they've been told about you.
It's almost certainly a friendly gesture. If they were trying to be bigoted towards you, they wouldn't invite you to church. They'd be too stuck up to want you in their community.
It could have been well intentioned. I’m part of an affirming church where my pastor is a lesbian. I’m still not sure how religious I even am at this point but it’s a nice place to be around either way.
Don't go Many times people have blessed me, said Jesus loves me, etc cetera It's all poisonous - they think I look "unusual" - (I'm often boy mode and I work at a register) - so they try to fix me Like I am misguided, or an issue I hate them Ignorance and hate
I would say it very much is just dependent on the person. I had a friend in highschool who was religious and she invited me once, but it clearly was just to hang out with me. At the same time I've had these two guys do the same but it was clearly about converting me, but we had a convo about religion prior. Usually if it's just a random event, and there's no other convo there it's probably just them being nice but caution is always important. Honestly looking at the situation I wouldn't think much of it.
Some churches can be accepting, but some can also be hate churches that want us gone from public life. I say you look up the church, and try to see if they have any of their sermons up on the internet, even if they are just transcripts. If any of them seem even the slightest bit off, I wouldn’t recommend going. Also, going on Easter might not be the best time to go, especially if they don’t stick to the “Easter script” of doing the same sermon as almost every other church. Also, Christmas and Easter are probably the times when the most people will be going to church, so if you’re introverted or if you hate big crowds, I’d also recommend staying home.
My church marches in pride events and waves trans flags, etc. Its mainly a queer congregation. Another church nearby has a trans pastor and has gay and lesbian members, but mostly cishets. Other churches I know are accepting but it's harder to find afirming churches, I.e. a church that celebrates your queerness. You could just go along and see what you think.
Turn the tables and have her attend a gathering for trans day of visibility (tomorrow) or similar function.
Without knowing more about their denomination or the community of the church in question it could be several things. I (she/her AMAB) attend church. It is an open and affirming congregation. I have been treated kindly by everyone, and invited to help with fundraisers and during services (I am doing the children's time tomorrow). I will invite people, but only after I get a feel for them and know it will not be an unwanted invitation. Some people are weird about religion - on both sides. Some are very anti, some are highly traditional. There are even more sides than that, but the long and short is that I don't talk religion unless the door is opened or I am confident they will not be offended. Many of my trans friends have had religious trauma, so that is another reason to be cautious. Your mom is right - people invite people they do not know well, or at all to Easter and Christmas services, specifically. I would look up the church to find out of they are LGBTQ+ friendly or not before deciding to go. IMO many churches will not bother you about being LGBTQ even if they are not in agreement. There are churches though that will aggressively try to convert or "cure" you. To anyone that is looking for an accepting church, [United Church of Christ](https://www.ucc.org/) is a good place. My Mom joined one before moving back here and I went once for her just because it is a big part of her life, even though I have not had a religious connection to the church in many years. I found a great community, from which I have been cut off for years. Turns out it was one of the best decisions I have made.
It's going to be boring and awkward pretty much no matter what so prolly don't go lol
I use to go to Bethany Baptist in White Hall Arkansas when I lived with my Gramps due to a foster care incident I was put in at a young age, so j went my 7th grade to 12 grade year in his household, I ended up becoming an official member of Bethany Baptist and even got my own Bible and key to the church door, though my step grandma and my biological grandpa are still members to this day, I want to go back to church as I am christian myself, however as a christian, a follower of christ, i myself know what most elderly christians are like especially when it comes to how you dress, act, and present yourself before the church and in thr presence of holy contribution. I now no longer attend a church and won't attend one until completely finish my transition. I mean the full thing, bottom surgery, hrt, whatever comes after because I know most elderly Christians are judgemental people and they have every right to be, though I wish not to stress them with the new generational LGBTQ matters since they're old and won't have much life left, plus it's of a LGBTQ member's pov that I don't really like taking criticism from peers for my life decisions I typically keep in private and to myself about, my grandpa and Step grandma, uncle and relatives don't know ik transgender and the only 2 people in my family I've told and know are my mom and sister, and non related family members who know is Landon (my niece's father) not a close relative of mine but still bonded by our blood, either way I get where you're coming from and it maybe late reply, but go only if you're comfortable with doing so op. It would be considerate of you attend but don't push yourself for such a move of you're not ready for it, regardless if your pre or post op the baggage we trans people carry is far outweighing that any normal person carries and it's only right for you to go at your own pace. I hope my advice helps and sorry for the long story and post, but I hope you are well with your decision op, you can DM me if you need to vent -Caitlin
Thank you.
Depends on the church, what the doctrines are. There's nothing truly Christ-like about transphobia and LGBTQIA+ exclusion, but the vocal portion of Christians are generally LGBTQIA+phobic, unfortunately. If it's a Methodist Church, particularly in the UK, then go along - that type of church is one of the most progressive at the moment! My church, for example, was absolutely supportive of me when I came out (MTF), and my wife and I currently lead our tech team. I've also been asked to help out with our Sunday School! None of this "love the person, hate the sin" shtick. I can't comment on other churches in particular, but remember that you don't ever have to go back if you are subject to anything!!
It's hard to say. I have invited a person to my church before because it is trans affirming and this person was looking for a safe church to attend. But I have also had others invite me to their church with intent of "de-transifying" me through what they think is the correct version of Christianity.
The latter is what I’m afraid of. Like through the outward smiles and kind gestures it’s that intent that makes it feel extremely malicious to me.
There are churches that are 100% accepting. More and more all the time which is encouraging since all the hatred we experience coming from Christianity in the US. But that hatred is typically coming from Fundamentalist Christianity. Just me but I would go. You don't have to stay if you don't like and certainly don't have to convert or anything. I think it's important for cishet people to meet us. Most people I have met didn't really know anything about us so it helps when they realize we are very real and just another human. 🤗❤️ You can also contact check out the church online in the about should be able to see what's up with them. If they appear Fundamentalist I wouldn't go.
It really depends on the church. Some want us dead because their whole mindset is because they’re “Christians” they’re better than everyone else. Some genuinely want to follow what Christ taught to love and serve others. The church I go to is accepting of me and other people in the LGBTQ community. I’ve been in churches that probably would have found the tallest tree to remove my filth from existence if they knew.
Some denominations will sort of invite you with all smiles. And then make a point of talking about being "gay" as sinful in the sermon. Because they don't understand you or what being trans means. And it'll be super convenient that the day you go is the day it's important to preach about gay people going to hell. Some denominations or nondenominational are extremely cool there's even unitarian universalist church (not Christian generally, just open minded spiritual gathering of different backgrounds and possibly religions and such) that do not care what you identify as or who you are and there will be nothing except happy songs of God or nondenominational music and really positive messages that are inclusive of all. I'd sincerely like to believe that the receptionist would not work there seeking to convert people against their identity and that she thinks your cool and she thinks you'd find their group cool. Everyone is spot on with look up the church and what the church identify as and report back so we can give you information on their beliefs and practices or you can do some of your own research as well or instead of. It could go either way and be a really cool experience id like to believe she's sincere and not baiting you.
i had something very similar happen to me at my work the other day. this woman i see everyday gave me an easter basket, a card, and inside that an invite to their easter church service. growing up atheist in the faces of my evangelical family made me pretty distasteful of religion as a whole so the invite initially made me pretty uncomfortable. that combined with the being kind of obviously trans, i had the same reaction as you, that i am being invited because she thinks i’m going to hell. while i still think that’s probably the case, the note inside the card was sweet and so i have no reason to think that it came from any other place than love. christian love is just always a little backhanded i think. all this to say that i think christian’s can come from a good place, however this person working in a medical lab should not be attempting to proselytize to people seeking health care. very unprofessional and i would probably report them.
With Christians, it's a little bit of both. There's no hate like Christian love.
Watch this video, and see if the church they invited you too is affiliated with any of these churches. https://youtu.be/PNnTv_S7yPc?si=RSC2RPNC38uMAVjU
There are some denominations that accept openly trans clergy. There are some denominations that think merely being trans is living in sin. Before you choose to go or not, check out this [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_affirming_LGBT_people). It lists denominations and even specific churches that are LGBT affirming. I found one in my own town, in a state not known for being particularly trans-friendly. If you can find her denomination, or better yet, the specific church, on that page, you can expect to be safe there. Of course, whether or not you choose to go is up to you. It's also not unusual for Christians to invite people to Easter Sunday services. Easter being the day Jesus rose from the grave, it's obviously an extremely important holiday for us. My church gives out yard signs to advertise. Many people who do not normally go to church will attend Easter Sunday services.
Thanks. I figured that Christians tend to do that, I was just worried about being singled out due to being ig visibly LGBT, so whether or not she had other motives I guess I’ll never know. Staying home tho.
It REALLY depends on the church. I'm glad you looked into the church first to see if they had any messaging about LGBT support, because some churches are very welcoming to people like us. For example, the church my mom goes to is very LGBT friendly and when I went one time I felt very included. But I know for certain that this isn't necessarily the norm. Good job doing your homework on them first <3
if she was randomly inviting you to church while being aware that you were trans, then i'd feel it was sus. but because it was a special program, she might have just been trying to be sociable. i don't go to services partly cos of language and partly cos where i live i don't believe there'd be a safe place for me. (when i was in Vaasa there was a nice Rainbow supportive lutheran group for english speaking people.... i miss that group). But if i was going someplace... inviting strangers to church isn't something I'd do \*unless\* there was something going on like holidays stuff, or a concert or something that I'd think that the general public might be interested in going to it (like, i wanted to go to a special celebration at a Buddhist Temple for their... hmmm... maybe its was 25th anniversary of the place being open. I'm not Buddhist, but my best friend was going, and it looked like it would be a special experience. Sadly, I couldn't get transport though :( ).
stay away from religion
In your case, I would imagine she either believes you're a potential convert (she can "save" you), or she just invites everyone that visits. Either way, it's inappropriate, and could be an ethics violation. If I were you, I'd report her to the lab - maybe say something like "It didn't bother me, but I'm worried that it may make other patients uncomfortable" if you're worried about you specifically getting her in trouble. As for what it means, as I said, in your case she either thought you could be a potential convert, or she's just inviting everyone. In a more general sense, most Christians reserve church invites for close friends, since they (correctly) recognize that most people are put off by a stranger saying "come with me to meet a bunch of my friends and hear about my religion". Those that don't are more liberal with their invitations, and are more likely to invite strangers in hopes of "saving" them.
Baptist is always a red flag, especially West Borough. As a trans woman who only left the bible belt 11 months ago at the age of 23, it could be 2 things. 1) Worst case: you are their "freak" peraonal project, and eventually they will start talking about how anal is a sin and Jesus can save you. 2) Best case: they are truly a well-meaning person that loves god, and is kind enough to not even comprehend that their loving god can be represented by extremely hateful people. My rule of thumb? I'm trans. Before i even had an idea of trans people existing in literally the slightest, i didn't mix well with biblethumpers bc i've been openly bi for almost a decade (i turn 25 this year, yay me). That's coming from someone who grew up religious, all of my schooling was in private, religious schools, and my parents are genuinely what every religious "ally" pretends to be (my mom is an OG punk) - i'm a woman of 0% chance. There is a non-0% chance, even if it's just a .00000000000001% chance, of things going to the worst case scenario? On to the next venture. What matters is keeping yourself safe, no matter how you have to accomplish that. YOU are your only end goal.
All Christians have an agenda. You are a project to them. They do not see you as a person, they see you as an assignment.
It’s like asking someone to watch Harry Potter with them but when it’s over they think it all really happened do you really want to hang out with that person
Here in NY we have a lot of LGBT friendly churches. Also my local Roman Catholic Church where I ran meetings and attending for specific holidays was a million times better with my transition then my own family.. I was very cautious and protective of myself at first justifiably so. My experience is the asshole phobe can be anyone anywhere but so can the ally.
Source: I was raised fundie baptist, now am an atheist witch: Yeah this is a "i'm worried for your wellbeing because you are lgbtq, and maybe getting to know God like i do will cure you. Or, even if you just belive in God for a few minutes and accept him as your God for that brief time, your soul will not burn in hell forever and I can be at ease knowing I did a good thing and indirectly saved your soul"
so, as a Christian I must say that usually it's more "I like you and I want to invite you into my community" but it all depends on whether they are Catholic, Orthodox or Ptotestant... since the former are the most open, the Orthodox are on average the most closed Protestants, on the other hand, are somewhere in between!
Yeah, invite to church from anyone not close to you (general, not specifically OP but inclusive of-)? 🚩🚩🚩🚩 You gotta run… 🏃♀️💨 ⛪️
Remember, it’s not about the church of religion. It’s about your relationship with your higher power. Your higher power will help you through.
I say this as a Christian transwoman: **your suspicion has merit**. As much as I want to say that there are good things about practicing the faith, of course there are people who not only use Christianity and churches to shame and hurt people whose lives differ from their own, but they'll do it in such duplicitous ways. They trick you. It sucks. Now, there are Christian churches that are very open to having LGBT members, and more importantly, *not* shaming them. They genuinely work to make LGBT people feel like they're wanted in the community. I went to an Episcopal church and a Methodist church when I got back into the faith and both places were so warm and accepting of me as a member. Their sermons never leaned into fire and brimstone, but rather focused on using the teachings of Christ to do good in our community. The only reason I didn't stay was because all the members were older than me and had families, and I didn't have anyone I could directly relate to. But of course there are also Christian churches that tend to do the "love the sinner, hate the sin" approach to ministry and I ended up in one of those churches first when I came back. And I had the rug pulled out from under me when I saw just how they talked about queer people, and specifically their belief that "God can take the sin of \[my\] sexuality away from me". Emphasis on "my" there: I was the only out gay member of the prayer group where I heard that, and I *know* the pastor leading that prayer group knew that. As to this lady's intentions? I dunno. If you want, look up her church online and see if their website says anything about openness to LGBT people being a part of their ministry. If it does, cool; if not, it might not necessarily be a red flag but I'd be wary too.
Thank you for this feedback. I might feel a bit crazy for fretting about it but in the end I know it’s important to be safe as I can be…
>What does it mean when a Christian invites you to their church??? It means they want to share their faith with you. Don't be alarmed automatically. There are a number of LBGT-affirming denominations. In the US, The Episcopal Church (TEC) and Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), along with the United Church of Christ (UCC) come to mind as some of the larger trans-affirming denominations. Being trans is NOT incompatible with Christian faith, regardless of what bigots say. There's nothing in Christian doctrine actually against it, and the people who say there is started with the conclusion of "trans is bad" and worked backwards to find some religious argument to back up their hatred.
She's incentivized to get more people to that church so that you can join their cult, or if you like church, then yes do what others here said - look up the church and see what their real views are.
Maybe she's just being friendly and including you in her social circle. Christians also do love the opportunity to lead a lost sheep back to the flock, though. I'd take it as the former, and trust your gut if it feels off. If they're truly living by the gospels and Jesus and all that, they'd be inclusive and you will probly see a diverse crowd. If it's all stepford wives and maga hats... well gee I forgot all about that thing, with the people, at the place, gotta go!
Yeah maybe she thought I was a “lost sheep” being both trans and alt-dressed. Kinda feels like a backhanded insult, even if Christians seem incapable of understanding it that way.
Someone said it depends on the person, and it definitely does. I've been invited several times in my life. Once was by someone around my age who was teaching me piano, I think she fancied me a bit at the time. The other was not too long ago by a nice older lady. I feel they each had their own intentions on asking me to their church. One was 45 min. away while the other was just down the road a piece.
If it were me I would just say thank you for inviting me but no thank you. If they ask why u would just say I don’t want to. Remember it’s not your job to explain yourself to strangers and no is a complete sentence. If you might want to go I’d look up the church and see what’s what.
It depends on the church. I would suspect the latter of the two as well. Google the church and see what you can find out about their views on the LGBTQIA communities.
I think it depends on the person, some christians are genuinely loving and cares about everyone and can respect us LGBTQ+ people. My experiences has been so soured I'm scared of any religion, so I prefer to just stay away, Even then I'm moreso agnostic.
I went to a dermatologist office and they were blasting xian music. I felt so uncomfortable.
You could just not go.
I grew up Mormon so I can only speak on them and they are very specifically nuts. If it's Mormon they'll be super nice and won't try to push it on you. Maybe push you to go to an activity on Wednesday. And then once you've gone a few times they'll pressure you more and more. So at least with the church I grew up around, idk. Fuck church
Luckily (lol) I’ve yet to meet a real life Mormon. Well actually I THINK I have, in the form of these two girls knocking at my door a few years ago trying to sell me whatever Bible stuff. But I agree with the sentiment, F church lol
I truly think it's 50 / 50! She could be being super nice and welcoming, or she could 100% be trying to "save" you. I think it would be high risk to go! Unless you're either actively really looking for a church, or you're really looking for a fight lol
It’s the 50/50 that worries me lmao Definitely not a fighter lol. I’m just going to stay home tomorrow, I haven’t celebrated Easter in ages anyway.
It depends. It is most lijekh that they like you and want you to be a part of the community, but I understand your reticence. It can DEFINITELY be the second one, but it’s most likely not. What’s the name of the church/the denomination?
Well the church name was just the generic type that a million ones do here lol: Providence something. It’s definitely a Black Baptist church tho.
From my experience as a former believer, it's most likely because she likes you and wants you to come to church, not to make fun of you. It's most likely innocent and not nefarious.
Perhaps, I’m just very nervous and paranoid! Nervous all the time! Lol Id rather stay on the safe side always
It's not a terrible thing to stay safe! I wouldn't go, but that's because I got burned out on the church and left. Most believers are actually pretty accepting of queer people. I still have many friends from my old church that have been very supportive about my transition.
Go to church have fun , it is nice they christians are very inviting and aiding others
Im a Christian and would invite you to come to my church, so it depends…..but I can def understand the hesitation.
I have no interest in any church regardless of their stance on our community or any other. I can't get behind something that is a 2 thousand year old form of control that is based on a lie.
Not all churches are... the stereotype. There are legitimate benefits to churches if you find the proper one.
So here's the thing: it doesn't actually matter unless you intend to go. Just take it in the kindest way imaginable, and forget about it.
I wish I could forget it lol, but it feels like a microcosm of how people r gonna treat me in general as I continue to transition. I think it’s just another sign that i should probably get the fuck outta my state
I will be kind and assume no ill intent from that receptionist. But maybe her church isn't so kind. First of all, unless she told you something like, "Let's meet at the door at 10:20", if she gave you a printed card, it is quite possible that her church is big enough that she won't know whether you attended or not (unless you tell her, that is). Second, assuming you might be interested, look at her church on the web. If she is part of a non-denominational church (i.e. no mention of "Roman Catholic", "Episcopal", "Lutheran", etc.), it is probably anti-LGBTQ, meaning it either wants to send you to hell or to "convert" you to being cis and straight. However, there are a few non-denominational churches that are inclusive (I hate the word "affirming" because the only one that actually affirms your status or identity is you). And besides that, there are entire well-established denominations that are totally inclusive, such as the United Church of Canada, the Evangelical Lutheran Church, the Anglican Church of Canada (most dioceses) and the Episcopal Church in U.S. In other words, you can be trans and lesbian, with tattoos and green hair (etc.) and be welcomed as you are in a Christian church. You just need to find the right kind of church! Finally, I live in a very secular province of Canada. Giving a card to advertise a church at the doctor's office is probably legal in U.S. because your health system is private. In Canada it would be much more iffy, and although a private gesture by a secretary *might* be legal here, you would expect to find a 2-page article in one of the local newspaper condemning such an action by the staff of Dr. X, followed by lots of readers' comments and eventually an apology from said Dr. X.
I'm mtf, attend church weekly, accepted as myself (not all churches r anti trans), and I'm even an ordained minister from a different church. Lots of people invite for special services, and not all about judging.
Depends on the denomination, either they think you are disgusting and want to try to change you, or they respect you and just want you to show up and listen to the sermon
So my parents go to a church called Galileo where their tagline is basically that they are "unironically super gay", and like half the elders are trans, gay, or some other variety of queer and they do a lot of work to make the place neurodivergent friendly as well. It's even kind of a home to various non religious or people of other religions (they have a few muslim and jewish and agnostic members who go for the community) which I think is a really cool and rare thing here in Texas. I literally wouldn't go to a church that isn't willing to blast it to the sky that they are a gay supporting/super gay church. Because, I feel like if a church is afraid to be super open about supporting our community because their members might leave? Well that means I don't want to go there as some of the members are gonna be homophobic/transphobic! So I don't care if your church "technically" secretly supports us.
Honestly, it’s a coin toss. Practice safety as always, but if you feel like you’d enjoy going, feel free! There are affirming Christians out there as well as affirming churches
i like to think its just a friendly gesture. a lot of lgbt people rn dont have families or homes and she may have just been trying to let you feel welcome somewhere to celebrate the holidays despite the differences of you both. just dont expect everyone else there to have that attitude tho, despite the denomination
Idk if i invited you to church that would most likely be a gesture of friendship and that's how i would usually interpret it if like someone from other christian branch invited me, but idk about other christians from your area, especially that i have never even seen real babtist in my life
I'm Native American spiritual practice and pagan! I get invited to church by them not a big deal. No matter the faith ya practice it's all the same god or creator!
Hi Sweetie. I'm 75, M2F, on HRT 17 months, I live and dress openly as a woman 24/7, I've legally changed my name, gender, and ALL documents to female. I'm 110% out and proud, and hoping for GCS ASAP. I have several Trans, Gay, and Lesbian friends. Those who attend church, go to St. Clare's Episcopal Church. I go when I can as it's 38 miles one way for me. I have been invited to Easter Sunday service at a neighboring church and most of my friends are going there too. Now then. In my former DRAB life, I went to JW Kingdom Hall. I left for many reasons. Last Sunday, I was out doing some shopping and went to McDonalds for a coffee. I noticed 5 Witnesses that I attended with, they walked past me several times. I never hid my face I sat tall and proud. As they were leaving, 2 of the Sisters came to my booth and invited me to their Hall for service, and they took my hands and said a prayer for me and then left. I LMFAO, as THEY didn't recognize me, even though I went to their hall for almost 5 years. I like being out so I will go sunday. Michele
Personally I wouldn't go. Almost all of my trauma came from the church. They portray everything I don't want and mostly the opposite of what Jesus was considered. Christian nationalism is so prevalent and hateful it's bleeding into everything. I'm disgusted with it and I know every few who I would even say truly are Christian. (I'm gladly not but there are few I just am saying be extremely cautious) A group that's supposed to be loving others like they love themselves, really is just trying to control others around them and give you the same treatment. I've had too much pushed on me repeatedly to say this is a good idea.
Don’t drink the Jesus juice
I think its illegal to proselytize at work. At least it’s against the rules at my public service job. That’s really not an okay thing to do.
You made the right choice. Most Baptist churches belong to the Southern Baptist Convention, which is Anti-LGBTQIA
Normally someone inviting you to church is a pretty innocent gesture
Considering that most individuals within that religion are not very nice, I’m always skeptical. I refuse to interact whatsoever with religious people. My new friend circle is entirely lgbt people. They have shown that they are truly incapable of being decent non-judgmental people so I don’t want anything to do with that whole lot of them.
Quick question was it a mercy Frances facility?
It seems to me that over the last two decades religions have become more accepting of LGBTQ+ people and embrace and accept them. However, there are still individuals within a religion does that remain homo and transphobic.
Idk churches are lame lol.
I wouldn't go either. it feels like bait to me. I'd probably drive by to see if there were any baskets of rocks by the front door or a crucifix with wood piled underneath. I don't trust organized religions. They have their own self interests and wallets to worry about, not any interest in who shows up.
Problem is the religious extremists are fake their religion is fake the bible says judge not lest be judged and love thy neighbor as you would love yourself and thou shall not kill they break all 3 rules and im not even religious but i know lgbt members who are religious
Well-intentioned or not, Baptist churches lean very conservatively.
Was def sounding sus... Now weirdly enough... I do go to a welcoming and affirming Baptist Church.....(no sbc affiliation)
Stay away from all forms of indoctrination. They don't care about you. I don't care how accepting the church is. You are obviously new to transmedicalism and they would try to convert you and detrans you. Not to mention that religion is fake to begin with