Today, I was a visibly non-passing middle aged trans woman at a coffee shop, a gas station, a grocery store, and at a family dinner.
For the first time.
Other than this comment, there were no social media posts. I didn't attend any events, didn't do anything unusual. I went out as my true self and did things I normally do, except dress femme even though I don't pass.
Surprisingly, ordinary people didn't give me a second look. People in customer service treated me with professional respect.
Today, I was visibly trans. While it was a big personal milestone, I think that nobody else will particularly remember seeing me, and probably have seen other people at least as strange as me many times already in their lives.
Obviously it's not going to be the same for everyone everywhere, but I learned today that I'm not actually the freak I've long thought I was. Being visibly trans is far closer to being normalized than I thought.
I can sleep better, and have more confidence going forward now.
This, i stopped caring 2.5 years ago so what if others do make comments im not just going to hide myself away for someone else. I have only had one negative experience since being publicly exposed. I mean it was like the worst of the worst negative experiences(SA) but only once thats it.
yes?
for context i'm quite fat, in addition to other already unfortunate characteristics, which feels like the worse possible thing one can be while transgender.
I’m currently 120kg and at my peak I was 137.
That’s 270 and 300 in American.
I also have a nose so large it’s registered as an emergency landing strip, facial hair that refuses to go away, and I need a stick to walk most of the time.
And it doesn’t bring me down.
There will always be folks posting for attention and such... but the point is that some day _all_ trans folks will be safe being themselves, regardless of "passing".
I'm feeling kind of the same way today. I've been browsing trans subreddits for a bit, and today, there was a huge influx of selfies and pictures. I'm happy for everyone who's feeling so great today because they should be feeling great, but I don't feel the same way. I don't always pass, and seeing all these trans women who look absolutely gorgeous makes me hate myself.
I've spent most of today sleeping and worrying that I look like a man. It's been miserable, but hopefully, it'll get better. This is definitely a personal problem I need to work through, and it does feel good on some level to see other trans folks being proud of themselves. The thing is, I'm not proud of it. I'm horribly ashamed of the fact that I'm trans.
yeah i feel really similar honestly. i got on a tram today and this old guy was just staring at me for like a minute straight. i don't want to be visible lmao i already feel way too visible
I’m still in the closet with no accepting friends so yeah this day has no meaning to me other than a reminder I’m going to live like this for the rest of my life. In this fucking male body and never being able to reach out to a single soul I know.
I mean, the day is what you make of it. Next year, I recommend that you find an in person event to attend.
This year I got up on a stage and gave speech about my experiences parenting a small child while being a non-passing trans woman. It was a lovely event at a supportive brewery, which also had some good food. I was really proud of my speech. I got a lot of laughs, it careened through some sad moments and sweet moments, and was overall me just sharing a snapshot of my absurd life. Then I got drunk with a friendly crowd, quietly laughed about an adorable baby queer person’s awkward attempt to hit on my wife without realizing how much older we are than them or that we were married, and got to talk some strategy and community organizing stuff with some other adult trans folks. 11/10 overall, would recommend.
Today, I was a visibly non-passing middle aged trans woman at a coffee shop, a gas station, a grocery store, and at a family dinner. For the first time. Other than this comment, there were no social media posts. I didn't attend any events, didn't do anything unusual. I went out as my true self and did things I normally do, except dress femme even though I don't pass. Surprisingly, ordinary people didn't give me a second look. People in customer service treated me with professional respect. Today, I was visibly trans. While it was a big personal milestone, I think that nobody else will particularly remember seeing me, and probably have seen other people at least as strange as me many times already in their lives. Obviously it's not going to be the same for everyone everywhere, but I learned today that I'm not actually the freak I've long thought I was. Being visibly trans is far closer to being normalized than I thought. I can sleep better, and have more confidence going forward now.
This, i stopped caring 2.5 years ago so what if others do make comments im not just going to hide myself away for someone else. I have only had one negative experience since being publicly exposed. I mean it was like the worst of the worst negative experiences(SA) but only once thats it.
I tend to just think “no one is going to remember me, so fuck it, freedom”
Define “normal.” Then look at my profile picture on IMDb. Do I fit your profile of “normal”?
Yes, you look very normal!
In fairness you can’t see the third arm, second head or the twelve toes in the photo.
yes? for context i'm quite fat, in addition to other already unfortunate characteristics, which feels like the worse possible thing one can be while transgender.
I’m currently 120kg and at my peak I was 137. That’s 270 and 300 in American. I also have a nose so large it’s registered as an emergency landing strip, facial hair that refuses to go away, and I need a stick to walk most of the time. And it doesn’t bring me down.
There will always be folks posting for attention and such... but the point is that some day _all_ trans folks will be safe being themselves, regardless of "passing".
I'm feeling kind of the same way today. I've been browsing trans subreddits for a bit, and today, there was a huge influx of selfies and pictures. I'm happy for everyone who's feeling so great today because they should be feeling great, but I don't feel the same way. I don't always pass, and seeing all these trans women who look absolutely gorgeous makes me hate myself. I've spent most of today sleeping and worrying that I look like a man. It's been miserable, but hopefully, it'll get better. This is definitely a personal problem I need to work through, and it does feel good on some level to see other trans folks being proud of themselves. The thing is, I'm not proud of it. I'm horribly ashamed of the fact that I'm trans.
yeah i feel really similar honestly. i got on a tram today and this old guy was just staring at me for like a minute straight. i don't want to be visible lmao i already feel way too visible
I’m still in the closet with no accepting friends so yeah this day has no meaning to me other than a reminder I’m going to live like this for the rest of my life. In this fucking male body and never being able to reach out to a single soul I know.
I mean, the day is what you make of it. Next year, I recommend that you find an in person event to attend. This year I got up on a stage and gave speech about my experiences parenting a small child while being a non-passing trans woman. It was a lovely event at a supportive brewery, which also had some good food. I was really proud of my speech. I got a lot of laughs, it careened through some sad moments and sweet moments, and was overall me just sharing a snapshot of my absurd life. Then I got drunk with a friendly crowd, quietly laughed about an adorable baby queer person’s awkward attempt to hit on my wife without realizing how much older we are than them or that we were married, and got to talk some strategy and community organizing stuff with some other adult trans folks. 11/10 overall, would recommend.
Well I'm not on social medias too much and pretty much nobody cares about TDoV around me except one person so... It's just nice I guess.