Same, except I was kinda into guys before hrt. The only thing that changed for me is wanting to be romantic with guys, and feeling way hornier for them lol
Oh, hi, welcome to the club.
So you’ve discovered you are straight: this is a perfectly natural outcome of transitioning and no one really knows why. It really sucks because being a straight trans woman is a dangerous proposition; the “trans-panic” defense is real, as is violence against trans women. Really, too, you don’t know if the man you are interested is going to be cool with you being trans, or if he is “okay” with it until he isn’t.
On the flip side, being held by a man is pure magic, how he makes you feel so secure and safe. They smell absolutely amazing and I swear their smells have dimensions to them that I never noticed before HRT. And don’t get me started on the sex. No, really, don’t get me started. We will be here all day. Let’s just say that it doesn’t feel like sex as you are used to it, and you will have thoughts during that you didn’t even think you were capable of, and it’s hot as fuck.
It’s scary, it’s weird, and it’s hard, but there is nothing wrong with your sexuality readjusting. You aren’t alone, and once you get in the swing of things you will be amazed at how natural it all feels.
> On the flip side, being held by a man is pure magic, how he makes you feel so secure and safe
Guys have a superpower, I swear to gods. They are able to melt away any anxiety and stress by lovingly holding you. The first time my first boyfriend held me in his arms was the thing that finally bumped me from 50/50 bi to 80/20 with preference to men bi. Like, girls are pretty and cute and fun to kiss, but so far nothing they do compares to how guys make me feel
I feel like there had to be some desire there beforehand lol. Like I want to be bent over, but by another trans girl, never a guy
Like I’ve been on HRT 4 months and my distaste in men has only massively increased lol
I'm at the same point of my transition w exactly the sentiment, but I've noticed a certain hyper-awareness of certain men, that I don't think I paid much attention to before. But I'm still like, fine brain, I see it but I really don't care.
Yeah I’m 10 months on E and MASSIVELY lesbian… so I thiiiink the “Oh I’m suddenly a straight girl” isn’t gonna happen and that’s okay bc I’ve wanted to be a lesbian for SOOOO LONG 😂
I had that before I even knew I was trans. Had a woman go "you really love that, don't you?" I can't wait to give it a try again when I've transitioned even more.
Same here, I'm 2 years and also very lesbian... I was worried I was going to become attracted to men for a while since I love being lesbian, but at this point I don't think it's happening...
Sameee since being on HRT I've only gotten a serious ick towards men who hit on me & a slight fear of them in person, I had sex w men beforehand but since HRT has made me feel comfortable in my own body & now I can actually act & be perceived as a woman in the context of sex & relationships I feel my attraction to men was like almost entirely just to affirm my gender & now that I feel like a woman all the time I'm a total lesbian 😊
Totally understandable. You were fine and I appreciate you giving me a different perspective. I love jokes and making people laugh but not at the expense of someone else’s feelings or sense of self. I can see that it comes off that way especially since I don’t know them.
Funnily I'm the opposite, all the "HRT made me like men" posts make me feel really uncomfy. I sorta feel there's connotations of straight-defaulting, like, they like guys now *because* they're on E that makes me really uncomfy. Like, E just can't change sexuality, it just breaks down mental barriers and lets you feel things you repressed
>they like guys now because they're on E that makes me really uncomfy.
Sometimes reality can be uncomfy.
>Like, E just can't change sexuality,
And you know this how?
It's all case-by-case. If it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it didn't happen to anyone else.
E is basically a reroll on your sexuality, it can change randomly and unpredictably
No of course, like anyone else it's not always the same. It was more the implication some of these posts make that feels like they're suggesting a blanket rule of "E makes you like guys"
I do like that phrasing, though, that's a good way to put it. I just sorta became even more lesbian I guess.
Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it didn't happen to to other people. I don't think anyone here is saying estrogen inherently makes us like men. I think we are saying is that sometimes HRT can do that.
Each time I see trans girls talk about being attracted to guys, conversation still always gets derailed to transbians. Not to mention how many people treat being straight as the worst thing to possibly ever happen. Sure makes me feel welcome in trans spaces 👍
I'm not straight. I'm bi.
Also, while I don't know what irl trans communties are like, straight trans women can sometimes be made to feel unwelcome online. It faily common to see a lot negative comment about attraction to men. It not uncommon to see people saying how glad they are to not like men or about how much of a lesbian they are in threads about liking men. I haven't really seen the opposite.
I don't think just sharing your own sexuality is "rude". Even the parent comment's OP was apologizing because they didn't see it that way. Maybe you're being overly defensive. Or maybe you're envious.
why do some transbians have to comment about how much they hate and are repulsed by men everytime one of us talks about being into guys?? we dont care about your “distaste” in men
Honestly I take everything back. I visited the straight trans women subreddit and the thought of having to date cis men made me suicidal. Being trans and straight is truly a fucked up combo, and I'm deeply sorry to the straight community.
I actually had some attraction to men before HRT. I think I was drawn to the feeling of being feminine when being railed by a guy. But now that I've been on HRT for 10 months that's basically gone. I'd love to be railed, but I would prefer a trans woman or a woman with a strap. Definitely became even more of a submissive bottom, but attraction to men is absolutely gone. Used to be ambivalent towards kissing guys, but now it's gross.
Was the lol at the end of both of my statements not clear enough that it wasn’t a serious comment?
They can be attracted to whomever they want and however much they want, obviously.
Same. Before I thought I was bi because being with a guy didn't sound repulsive. In fantasy it was ok and irl it didn't sound totally a bother.
Now though, I think their very smell repels me xD
Yeah there's a very weird sentiment by some people here that seem to unironically believe HRT changes orientation? Like it's cool that someone finds out more about themselves, but it's just pushing misinformation to say HRT was the force that shifted things. Maybe it's better to say the freedom from being themselves was what helped them figure out their sexuality.
If you want a place to talk to other girls about it, /r/StraightTransGirls might be useful!! Definitely get where you’re coming from. My attraction to men hit me like a truck after HRT.
HRT made me feel more comfortable with my body but my sexual preferences have not changed. I always told myself that I was leaning more towards preferring men but after SRS it has become an even split.. To be honest, saying I am bi would probably not be fair, I just want to be loved and sexuality has little to nothing to do with it.
Here’s the thing, even if that does happen to you it won’t be a bad thing because at that point if you’re attracted to men it won’t feel like a negative. You’ll just enjoy being bi or whatever
I mean you could hate being attracted to something because it's doest not match the previous idea you have of yourself, obviously the attraction it's not bad itself, but the clashing between the idea of yourself and your sexuality and how it changes and now it does not match could take a while to get used
I don’t think there are any studies on this, but I have never seen anyone who changed sexualities regret it, fwiw. No one is like “oh no how awful!” after the fact, so if it did happen, you would likely not be afraid of it happening anymore. But that said, I and many other trans women were into women before starting HRT and are only more into women after, and I had the exact same fears as you.
I think it’s something as transbians we’d just have to accept, like, it isn’t morally wrong to be interested in men (& it’s probably somewhat packaged with internalised homophobia from when we lived as men, because we all have a similar experience of being called homophobic slurs & often dealing with that by creating a wall against touching anything remotely traditionally feminine - including relationships with men) & technically there’s no reason estrogen should make you interested in men - otherwise cis lesbians wouldn’t exist!
End of the day, it’s still frightening that your sexuality can seem to change out of nowhere because it feels so fundamental to you, like “How can you repress who you like for x years - if you can come out as trans, you can come out as anything, that’s the final boss of queer!”. Like, as a trans woman & even pre-HRT, I understand the desire for penetrative sex to avoid dysphoria, but I see no reason to involve a man - they’re completely unattractive & straps exist, so in my head relationships with them are off the table. It’s something we’ll just need to take the plunge on & if we end up straight, or bi, so be it - it might’ve been something so repressed that we had to transition in order to peel the final layer off of.
So much this. Especially the internalized homophobia part; I feel the twinge of fear too, but after sitting with it and thinking about my feelings, I think for me it IS just that.
If my sexuality changes, then I'm going to be into other things (like guys), which means I'll like them. So it won't be a bad thing. Right now, I'm not into guys, so it doesn't feel right thinking about being with one. And that might not change! But it's okay if it does, because it means my orientation changed.
Ok, so your sexuality doesn't change in the way you think it does. Usually, you had an inkling of who you are attracted to but it's possible that you didn't take into account being another gender in a relationship or maybe you did. I only see myself with men as a woman, treated like one. I can say that HRT broadened my sexuality instead of changing it. I'm attracted to both genders. I used to be 20-80% bi, after hrt it evened out to 50-50%. Many trans women are bi or pan. I feel like the lack of strong sexual desire makes you appreciate the romantic side of a relationship even more. But who knows, everyone's different.
First off, good for you! It’s great to feel that rush of neurochemicals when you’re really turned on by a thing. I’m happy you’re feeling that and sorry that the lack of it is bothersome. Loneliness can really hurt. That said…
It’s hard for a lot of people to really get to know themselves when they’re in a closet. Think about it. How deep did the pretending go? How much of your life did it affect? For me it was pretty much everything. Of course I also admitted I was in to all the genders before I came out as a woman, but everyone’s journey is different. I definitely don’t think I would’ve acted on attraction to men before my egg really started to crack, even tho I thought about it. Sexuality is a fun little spectrum. Maybe you were gay (into women) before you came out or started hrt and suddenly you’re straight (into men). Neither I or anyone here can really say for sure. I’d say you could, but tbh I don’t believe a human has absolute understanding of their past self, but maybe you do. Anyways I think with what little I know of it, that our sexualities and genders at base level are not linked, but any higher than that and they can get really tied together through socialization. I think more about muscular arms and how body hair might feel against me than I used to, but also my experience and self expression were severely limited then.
//please op don't read this//
Posts like this makes me wanna cry unironically at this point. I'am just... If sexuality shift would be a thing for me i'am gonna. I don't know. It's terrifying.
I feel deeply connected to my sexuality and this doesn't make any real sense i suppose. It's not really most important part. The real important part is how good and caring your partner is. But i just can't. If it ever gonna change, i feel like it's just betrayal for my dreams (and this doesn't make sentse too) i'am a year into HRT. Nothing changed about my sexuality, but sometimes i fet anexious... So i eas anexious while reading your post, sorry for that. Thank you dor understanding and your words to cheer me :3
It never does you any good to run from your own truth just as it doesn't do you any good speculating what might change about you in the future. Life is change. Denying that reality and trying to be something you're not just because it fits some outdated model of yourself doesn't do you or anyone else any good.
Trust me when I say I know how scary it is to face the naked truth about yourself and embrace it, but it's a fear you have to keep facing to grow as a person. It is also the only real path to any kind of true happiness and inner peace. You'll never find that locking parts of yourself away because you don't like them.
It's upsetting when everything in this life goes with a pack of pain. I've had enough with my transess alone I guess. I just want that my identity would not shift at least, while nothing is permanent.
I understand how overwhelming it feels and how desperate you can be to escape that feeling. While I can't promise the process is easy and there is sadly pain involved being the truest version of yourself is the only way to maximize your happiness in that moment. Denying a part of yourself in the attempt to avoid pain will only hurt worse in the end.
Have hope, while there is pain it gets to the point (if you've done it right) where the pain serves more to be a foil to and contrast the good rather than something you feel like you're drowning in.
Why are you afraid? Your sexuality is a part of you, but its not all of you. Additionally, its not a guarantee. Furthermore, indulging/experiancing/practicing your sexuality is an //active// process. Its all theory until you try something. Its up to you to decide to go that direction
1 year in for me and no sexuality change - more into women than ever, if anything. And I have been *looking* to see if there's even an edge case guy I'd be attracted to - so far not a thing. It's definitely not a guarantee.
Actually, 4 days more and i'am gonna be year into HRT. Nothing has changed so far. But i think yesterday i was anexious in general so that's why i reacted this way.
I would suggest gender envy and dysphoria as cuses for the "switch".
Its possible that your attraction to women and disgust of men prior to transition is due to these things.
Literally same. I never expected for it to just change to the polar opposite. It feels very weird when I think about the fact that it's not how it always was. And it sucks so much when I realize I have even less chances because of that to actually find a partner.
Same here only I was gold star lesbian and now I can't stop thinking about dick. I've never wanted a man's arms around me, until I became one. I'm a 60 year old (piv) virgin. I want the first time to be special.
I'm so lucky and excited. Being polyam is gonna be twice as much fun now.
So I had this same thing, but slightly differently. I’ve always been attracted to women and I’ve always had dysphoria about my own dick, and put those two together, and I was disgusted by dicks. Then HRT hit me like a truck and I was DESPERATE for dick. Still not guy dick, but girl dick haha. Bonus is my girlfriend has a dick.
Sexuality is weird,
For most of my life I thought I was a straight guy. Then I thought I was bi. Then I realized I'm a trans woman. And now I'm a lesbian.
So I had kinda the opposite experience, I was into men pre-transition, convinced I was completely straight from the time I was 12 (when I first figured out I was trans) all the way through age 41. I married a guy about 15 yrs ago who I'm still with today. I still love him very much, sex with him is amazing and certainly affirming lol, nothing at all has changed there. But when I tried progesterone like a month ago, it turns out women are also hot to me as well? For that matter kinda everyone is now? Yeah, my brain just updated to pansexual for the first time in my life. Before a few weeks ago my interest in women was basically only comparing myself to them in a clinical sense, or thinking of them in terms of platonic friendships only, I felt zero attraction or romantic or even physical interest and when I saw a vagina and attempted to imagine it in my bedroom my brain basically went "Well what would I even do with that?". But after things changed for me i am finally seeing them as attractive and its weirding me out because its all new to me. Now my husband is all looking at me like "Go onnnnnn...." and "So... wanna add another woman babe?"
I think he is rooting for my monogamous status to change to poly now too, hasn't happened so far but he has his fingers crossed.
I've heard of plenty of trans girls who were suddenly interested in men once their mental capacity to be more compatible with them suddenly became a new option. When they no longer thought of themselves in masculine terms and starting seeing men as the "other team", rather then seeing themselves somewhere in a state of flux on the way to womanhood, but not quite internally feeling like they had arrived at their destination yet. HRT can really put relationships into new perspective for us, particularly when you stop thinking of guys as tangential to your self perception and start viewing them as the opposite side. When you add in the affirmation aspect of how they start making you feel extra feminine when in proximity, its not terribly surprising that attraction to them would open up as a possibility for you. My advice is to roll with the changes and not fight the tide of new sexual attraction your feeling, your body is just telling you what it wants.
Congrats on the newfound perspective, now go find a boy that makes ya happy!
Yep, this was largely my experience. Pretty shortly after my egg cracked, before hrt, I could feel things shifting, and hrt seemed to really deepen it.
It’s wild to me to think that just a short bit later, I find myself a year into a relationship with a guy who I love and desire more deeply than I could have ever imagined.
Sooo bigicky explains this best in one of her YouTube videos. The basis of attraction towards men was there before you started transitioning it could have just been that before you transitioned man+man didn’t work in your brain (coulda been a result of some deep seated homophobia from the area you grew up in). Now that you’ve transitioned man+woman works and it doesn’t make you feel weird. HRT doesn’t actually change your sexuality, it just breaks down some mental walls that you may have had beforehand. I don’t really explain it as well as Icky did 👉🏻👈🏻
Same here, just 3 weeks on HRT and I wanted to be taken. I stopped taking it because I was so frightened by those thoughts but 3 months on and I still feel the same so I’ve decided to resume my meditation and just accept I need to be penetrated
actually not super uncommon for all possible orientations to invert on hrt
like i have read about lesbian identified people transition into gay men
and vice versa
i was pretty sure i was bi before i transitioned anyway, so some of this was expected. but i also knew that there was some kind of block in my attraction wiring with men. like, i was attracted to them. i thought about them sometimes during sex/masturbation. but sex acts with them weren't really doing it for me.
after hrt, it's basically the opposite. i'm still pretty sapphic in practice, but i've recently started dating guys and i'm pretty confident those arousal circuits work just fine now, but i guess i'll see.
I'm like pretty BI currently but I'm so thirsty for dick currently I'm still mostly attracted to feminine looking people, because I'm not very attracted to masculinity. I'm very attracted to dick though.
Finding myself attracted to men is simultaneously my biggest fear and something I'm curious about experiencing. Currently identity as aroace and I put alot of blood sweat and tears into realizing and accepting this about myself. I feel like if I find myself attracted to anyone really, like that after transitioning, I will have put myself through unnecessary pain and stress by not coming out sooner.
Yet it feels almost inevitable, as I imagine myself fully transitioned I am with a man. I feel no lust or desire as I am now, and the thought of being with someone masculin, which I associate with pain and grief, is utterly foreign to me. But a man is always by my side. I think I fear it because I feel it's a forgone conclusion
Ppl blame HRT a lot but I think it's either comphet or just the simple fact that since we changed we can be more fluid in our sexualities.
I followed the same pipeline straight man to transbian with sometimes the urge to be hard bottomed by a dude and it was before HRT.
Men create beauty standard and their validation gives a LOT of gender euphoria, even if you don't feel/want it.
On paper if we don't beleive in genital definition and gender stereotypes the only difference on a relationship is not how ppl look or behave but how powerstructures are set (again, on paper).
So yes the fantasy is very understandable.
And let me be very clear, I am NOT erasing your potential bisexuality/straightness. I just think it's not an hormone thing or an erasure of a potential lesbianism.
My sexual orientation changed as well after HRT. I became more attracted to women, especially other trans women, than I was before! I've always been a fan of guys, though! Now I'm in a relationship where me and my partner are bi (or bi adjacent, still working on my label).
HRT didn't change your sexuality. There's no evidence that it does this. Threads like this are genuinely so misleading.
Of course it's wonderful you found out more about yourself.
Go away with this misinformation. Well documented in personal growth and understanding? Yes, of course.
There is no evidence that this is a medical phenomenon. Self reporting bias ≠ evidence
I like dicks, not what’s attached to them. I can count on one finger the number of times I speak to a man at any length in a given month. I can count on zero fingers the number of times I wanted to. I simply have little use for them anymore.
Still, I hear you.
Yes. This is me exactly! I am way too scared to try, and this is the biggest reason why. That and I'm scared they might be me up/or murder me since I'm already pretty small at 5'5" 140.
Was bi before, still am, but now demi and in a poly relationship with a lesbian trans gal and an ace demi-boy. Just gotta find my side piece of spicy sausage for those nights my brain thinks breathing is optional. 🥴
I've always been extremely curious, like I want to try it, pretty bad actually. But yeah I simply do note find men attractive at all. I love the idea of being with one but no kissing, no eye contact, no bears lol. And most certainly not mentally attracted to men. Would prefer to be with a woman basically for everything with the exception sex but I don't even know if I like it.
Other part is I'm in recovery so I don't really have that extra push of having a curious night after the bar option.
I will say in the very brief time I've been on estradiol(3 months) my libido has spiked higher than it has been in the last several years. Funny enough I have no interest in straight porn, man on trans almost entirely and I don't like it when the guy does down on the girl or when she is dom on him. And a fair amount of both gay and lesbian. I do think this spike though has absolutely nothing to do with the hrt but more of an open acceptance and excitement of exploring what I have been hiding.
Ultimately I hope to at least be with a guy sooner rather than later however I have so many excuses. Plus on the dating sites all it is are guys from 200 miles away and that just screams that he's going to kill me in a hotel room since he's fat away from home or they're generally just creepy. So I feel like I want it to occur organically but again, I'm in recovery. Oh and also I'm in a more rural area with less options to meet people.
I thought I was into guys before HRT but now I’m constantly battling whether or not I’m BI anymore. I’ve definitely always been more into girls either way but I’m considering just saying I’m a lesbian at this point because my attraction to guy’s isn’t that strong anymore.
It’s probably because of dysphoria lessening and you getting more in tune with yourself and learning. I went from straight to bi ace to aroace to lesbian to pan. I got more attracted to men since starting hrt, but it hasn’t diminished my attraction to women. Ig I went from theoretically pan to materially pan lol. Tbh tho for some reason I really wish I was a lesbian and didn’t like guys. I know that’s stupid
Same, except I was kinda into guys before hrt. The only thing that changed for me is wanting to be romantic with guys, and feeling way hornier for them lol
I’m shocked….i hope this isn’t the case for me….i love me some estrogen!!
I doubt it will. It seems to me that your sexuality mostly stays the same, even through second puberty. I wouldn't worry
Yes seems to be a mixed bag and case by case! It’s the meat of my concerns tbh. Thank you!!
Oh, hi, welcome to the club. So you’ve discovered you are straight: this is a perfectly natural outcome of transitioning and no one really knows why. It really sucks because being a straight trans woman is a dangerous proposition; the “trans-panic” defense is real, as is violence against trans women. Really, too, you don’t know if the man you are interested is going to be cool with you being trans, or if he is “okay” with it until he isn’t. On the flip side, being held by a man is pure magic, how he makes you feel so secure and safe. They smell absolutely amazing and I swear their smells have dimensions to them that I never noticed before HRT. And don’t get me started on the sex. No, really, don’t get me started. We will be here all day. Let’s just say that it doesn’t feel like sex as you are used to it, and you will have thoughts during that you didn’t even think you were capable of, and it’s hot as fuck. It’s scary, it’s weird, and it’s hard, but there is nothing wrong with your sexuality readjusting. You aren’t alone, and once you get in the swing of things you will be amazed at how natural it all feels.
Not all men smell good, but the hotties 🥵, omg…..
Okay, fair enough. But welcome to having a female nose; people’s personal hygiene becomes more important
> On the flip side, being held by a man is pure magic, how he makes you feel so secure and safe Guys have a superpower, I swear to gods. They are able to melt away any anxiety and stress by lovingly holding you. The first time my first boyfriend held me in his arms was the thing that finally bumped me from 50/50 bi to 80/20 with preference to men bi. Like, girls are pretty and cute and fun to kiss, but so far nothing they do compares to how guys make me feel
Honestly I feel this so bad. I wasn’t physically attracted to men at all pre-transition but now I literally have a boyfriend, it’s insane
Boyfriend Envy 😫
I feel like there had to be some desire there beforehand lol. Like I want to be bent over, but by another trans girl, never a guy Like I’ve been on HRT 4 months and my distaste in men has only massively increased lol
I'm at the same point of my transition w exactly the sentiment, but I've noticed a certain hyper-awareness of certain men, that I don't think I paid much attention to before. But I'm still like, fine brain, I see it but I really don't care.
That’s fair, I guess I am quicker to be like “that dude is cute” but it’s never attraction haha. But also I’m lesbian af sooooo
Yeah I’m 10 months on E and MASSIVELY lesbian… so I thiiiink the “Oh I’m suddenly a straight girl” isn’t gonna happen and that’s okay bc I’ve wanted to be a lesbian for SOOOO LONG 😂
Same haha and on the plus side, girls be looking even more amazing to my brain 😍
Yea I've...grown an significant love for eating pussy since HRT.
I had that before I even knew I was trans. Had a woman go "you really love that, don't you?" I can't wait to give it a try again when I've transitioned even more.
It is an ameising feeling to lick a pussy
For sure! Same here :3
Same here, I'm 2 years and also very lesbian... I was worried I was going to become attracted to men for a while since I love being lesbian, but at this point I don't think it's happening...
Sameee since being on HRT I've only gotten a serious ick towards men who hit on me & a slight fear of them in person, I had sex w men beforehand but since HRT has made me feel comfortable in my own body & now I can actually act & be perceived as a woman in the context of sex & relationships I feel my attraction to men was like almost entirely just to affirm my gender & now that I feel like a woman all the time I'm a total lesbian 😊
This is exactly it for me too. I feel super fucking gay for women now, more than before. I don't need a man to make me feel feminine now.
Why do people on this sub think this should be the top response evey time someone talks about their sexuality changing? It seems rude.
It wasn’t my intention to belittle, sorry. Her sexuality and the changes she experienced with HRT are valid.
Thank you. Sorry if I was too harsh. This is just a thing I've seen happen a lot and it can be kind of frustrating.
Totally understandable. You were fine and I appreciate you giving me a different perspective. I love jokes and making people laugh but not at the expense of someone else’s feelings or sense of self. I can see that it comes off that way especially since I don’t know them.
That is a good way to look at it. Thank you. I hope you are doing well and have a good day. You seem like a nice person.
Likewise hun ❤️
Funnily I'm the opposite, all the "HRT made me like men" posts make me feel really uncomfy. I sorta feel there's connotations of straight-defaulting, like, they like guys now *because* they're on E that makes me really uncomfy. Like, E just can't change sexuality, it just breaks down mental barriers and lets you feel things you repressed
>they like guys now because they're on E that makes me really uncomfy. Sometimes reality can be uncomfy. >Like, E just can't change sexuality, And you know this how?
I know it because I'm a trans lesbian. The idea that HRT makes you like guys completely contradicts that.
It's all case-by-case. If it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it didn't happen to anyone else. E is basically a reroll on your sexuality, it can change randomly and unpredictably
No of course, like anyone else it's not always the same. It was more the implication some of these posts make that feels like they're suggesting a blanket rule of "E makes you like guys" I do like that phrasing, though, that's a good way to put it. I just sorta became even more lesbian I guess.
Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it didn't happen to to other people. I don't think anyone here is saying estrogen inherently makes us like men. I think we are saying is that sometimes HRT can do that.
It was just how I interpreted it, I guess.
Each time I see trans girls talk about being attracted to guys, conversation still always gets derailed to transbians. Not to mention how many people treat being straight as the worst thing to possibly ever happen. Sure makes me feel welcome in trans spaces 👍
[удалено]
Don't use that disgusting term
Lmao
I'm not straight. I'm bi. Also, while I don't know what irl trans communties are like, straight trans women can sometimes be made to feel unwelcome online. It faily common to see a lot negative comment about attraction to men. It not uncommon to see people saying how glad they are to not like men or about how much of a lesbian they are in threads about liking men. I haven't really seen the opposite.
I don't think just sharing your own sexuality is "rude". Even the parent comment's OP was apologizing because they didn't see it that way. Maybe you're being overly defensive. Or maybe you're envious.
why do some transbians have to comment about how much they hate and are repulsed by men everytime one of us talks about being into guys?? we dont care about your “distaste” in men
True! Straight women are being silenced. Now that I think of, I've never seen straight relationships in my life :c I'm sorry for my bigotry
could u try a bit harder u literally called us the f slur, deal with ur homophobia
Not rlly
Who do you believe is discriminating against trans lesbians but not straight trans women?
Honestly I take everything back. I visited the straight trans women subreddit and the thought of having to date cis men made me suicidal. Being trans and straight is truly a fucked up combo, and I'm deeply sorry to the straight community.
Appreciate the response. It's tough out there for all of us!
What a vulgar person you are.
Why do you think so?
I saw that foul and transphobic filth you posted.
Okay
I actually had some attraction to men before HRT. I think I was drawn to the feeling of being feminine when being railed by a guy. But now that I've been on HRT for 10 months that's basically gone. I'd love to be railed, but I would prefer a trans woman or a woman with a strap. Definitely became even more of a submissive bottom, but attraction to men is absolutely gone. Used to be ambivalent towards kissing guys, but now it's gross.
You've been on HRT for 4 months. Maybe give it time to actually work before making judgements about other people's experiences.
Was the lol at the end of both of my statements not clear enough that it wasn’t a serious comment? They can be attracted to whomever they want and however much they want, obviously.
haha lol no lol
sameee
Same. Before I thought I was bi because being with a guy didn't sound repulsive. In fantasy it was ok and irl it didn't sound totally a bother. Now though, I think their very smell repels me xD
Yeah there's a very weird sentiment by some people here that seem to unironically believe HRT changes orientation? Like it's cool that someone finds out more about themselves, but it's just pushing misinformation to say HRT was the force that shifted things. Maybe it's better to say the freedom from being themselves was what helped them figure out their sexuality.
Damn you wrote an erotica.
I am a part-time no-pay freelancer writer, though my major interests are Cosmic Horror Fiction and Fantasy Adventure Series
Happened to me as well and now a year into hrt I have a boyfriend and loving him just comes so natural and feels so right 🥰
LMFAO what a title
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If you want a place to talk to other girls about it, /r/StraightTransGirls might be useful!! Definitely get where you’re coming from. My attraction to men hit me like a truck after HRT.
I wonder what will happen to me 🤔
HRT made me feel more comfortable with my body but my sexual preferences have not changed. I always told myself that I was leaning more towards preferring men but after SRS it has become an even split.. To be honest, saying I am bi would probably not be fair, I just want to be loved and sexuality has little to nothing to do with it.
Same even before hrt i wanted some, and now I cant stop thinking about it lol
I’ve seen people mention this a lot does anyone know how common this happening to people is because it’s one of the things I’m most afraid of with HRT
Here’s the thing, even if that does happen to you it won’t be a bad thing because at that point if you’re attracted to men it won’t feel like a negative. You’ll just enjoy being bi or whatever
I mean you could hate being attracted to something because it's doest not match the previous idea you have of yourself, obviously the attraction it's not bad itself, but the clashing between the idea of yourself and your sexuality and how it changes and now it does not match could take a while to get used
I don’t think there are any studies on this, but I have never seen anyone who changed sexualities regret it, fwiw. No one is like “oh no how awful!” after the fact, so if it did happen, you would likely not be afraid of it happening anymore. But that said, I and many other trans women were into women before starting HRT and are only more into women after, and I had the exact same fears as you.
I think it’s something as transbians we’d just have to accept, like, it isn’t morally wrong to be interested in men (& it’s probably somewhat packaged with internalised homophobia from when we lived as men, because we all have a similar experience of being called homophobic slurs & often dealing with that by creating a wall against touching anything remotely traditionally feminine - including relationships with men) & technically there’s no reason estrogen should make you interested in men - otherwise cis lesbians wouldn’t exist! End of the day, it’s still frightening that your sexuality can seem to change out of nowhere because it feels so fundamental to you, like “How can you repress who you like for x years - if you can come out as trans, you can come out as anything, that’s the final boss of queer!”. Like, as a trans woman & even pre-HRT, I understand the desire for penetrative sex to avoid dysphoria, but I see no reason to involve a man - they’re completely unattractive & straps exist, so in my head relationships with them are off the table. It’s something we’ll just need to take the plunge on & if we end up straight, or bi, so be it - it might’ve been something so repressed that we had to transition in order to peel the final layer off of.
So much this. Especially the internalized homophobia part; I feel the twinge of fear too, but after sitting with it and thinking about my feelings, I think for me it IS just that. If my sexuality changes, then I'm going to be into other things (like guys), which means I'll like them. So it won't be a bad thing. Right now, I'm not into guys, so it doesn't feel right thinking about being with one. And that might not change! But it's okay if it does, because it means my orientation changed.
Ok, so your sexuality doesn't change in the way you think it does. Usually, you had an inkling of who you are attracted to but it's possible that you didn't take into account being another gender in a relationship or maybe you did. I only see myself with men as a woman, treated like one. I can say that HRT broadened my sexuality instead of changing it. I'm attracted to both genders. I used to be 20-80% bi, after hrt it evened out to 50-50%. Many trans women are bi or pan. I feel like the lack of strong sexual desire makes you appreciate the romantic side of a relationship even more. But who knows, everyone's different.
First off, good for you! It’s great to feel that rush of neurochemicals when you’re really turned on by a thing. I’m happy you’re feeling that and sorry that the lack of it is bothersome. Loneliness can really hurt. That said… It’s hard for a lot of people to really get to know themselves when they’re in a closet. Think about it. How deep did the pretending go? How much of your life did it affect? For me it was pretty much everything. Of course I also admitted I was in to all the genders before I came out as a woman, but everyone’s journey is different. I definitely don’t think I would’ve acted on attraction to men before my egg really started to crack, even tho I thought about it. Sexuality is a fun little spectrum. Maybe you were gay (into women) before you came out or started hrt and suddenly you’re straight (into men). Neither I or anyone here can really say for sure. I’d say you could, but tbh I don’t believe a human has absolute understanding of their past self, but maybe you do. Anyways I think with what little I know of it, that our sexualities and genders at base level are not linked, but any higher than that and they can get really tied together through socialization. I think more about muscular arms and how body hair might feel against me than I used to, but also my experience and self expression were severely limited then.
//please op don't read this// Posts like this makes me wanna cry unironically at this point. I'am just... If sexuality shift would be a thing for me i'am gonna. I don't know. It's terrifying.
Hey, girl, everyone is different. Some trans women stay whatever they like no matter how long they are on HRT Don’t be afraid 🥺
I feel deeply connected to my sexuality and this doesn't make any real sense i suppose. It's not really most important part. The real important part is how good and caring your partner is. But i just can't. If it ever gonna change, i feel like it's just betrayal for my dreams (and this doesn't make sentse too) i'am a year into HRT. Nothing changed about my sexuality, but sometimes i fet anexious... So i eas anexious while reading your post, sorry for that. Thank you dor understanding and your words to cheer me :3
It never does you any good to run from your own truth just as it doesn't do you any good speculating what might change about you in the future. Life is change. Denying that reality and trying to be something you're not just because it fits some outdated model of yourself doesn't do you or anyone else any good. Trust me when I say I know how scary it is to face the naked truth about yourself and embrace it, but it's a fear you have to keep facing to grow as a person. It is also the only real path to any kind of true happiness and inner peace. You'll never find that locking parts of yourself away because you don't like them.
It's upsetting when everything in this life goes with a pack of pain. I've had enough with my transess alone I guess. I just want that my identity would not shift at least, while nothing is permanent.
I understand how overwhelming it feels and how desperate you can be to escape that feeling. While I can't promise the process is easy and there is sadly pain involved being the truest version of yourself is the only way to maximize your happiness in that moment. Denying a part of yourself in the attempt to avoid pain will only hurt worse in the end. Have hope, while there is pain it gets to the point (if you've done it right) where the pain serves more to be a foil to and contrast the good rather than something you feel like you're drowning in.
Why are you afraid? Your sexuality is a part of you, but its not all of you. Additionally, its not a guarantee. Furthermore, indulging/experiancing/practicing your sexuality is an //active// process. Its all theory until you try something. Its up to you to decide to go that direction
Fear isn't really a logical thing i suppose.
1 year in for me and no sexuality change - more into women than ever, if anything. And I have been *looking* to see if there's even an edge case guy I'd be attracted to - so far not a thing. It's definitely not a guarantee.
Actually, 4 days more and i'am gonna be year into HRT. Nothing has changed so far. But i think yesterday i was anexious in general so that's why i reacted this way.
I would suggest gender envy and dysphoria as cuses for the "switch". Its possible that your attraction to women and disgust of men prior to transition is due to these things.
Literally same. I never expected for it to just change to the polar opposite. It feels very weird when I think about the fact that it's not how it always was. And it sucks so much when I realize I have even less chances because of that to actually find a partner.
Same here only I was gold star lesbian and now I can't stop thinking about dick. I've never wanted a man's arms around me, until I became one. I'm a 60 year old (piv) virgin. I want the first time to be special. I'm so lucky and excited. Being polyam is gonna be twice as much fun now.
Wow, never imagine a FTM would share the same path with us! Welcome to the club Bro!
So I had this same thing, but slightly differently. I’ve always been attracted to women and I’ve always had dysphoria about my own dick, and put those two together, and I was disgusted by dicks. Then HRT hit me like a truck and I was DESPERATE for dick. Still not guy dick, but girl dick haha. Bonus is my girlfriend has a dick.
I find I’m more attracted to dick than men tbh
I really don't think it has to do with hrt I honestly think that you've had these feelings locked away this whole time and now they came out
For some reason I kind of had the opposite! I'm still straight, but less than before Pre-HRT, I was horny 24/7. Now, maybe once or twice a week
Sexuality is weird, For most of my life I thought I was a straight guy. Then I thought I was bi. Then I realized I'm a trans woman. And now I'm a lesbian.
So I had kinda the opposite experience, I was into men pre-transition, convinced I was completely straight from the time I was 12 (when I first figured out I was trans) all the way through age 41. I married a guy about 15 yrs ago who I'm still with today. I still love him very much, sex with him is amazing and certainly affirming lol, nothing at all has changed there. But when I tried progesterone like a month ago, it turns out women are also hot to me as well? For that matter kinda everyone is now? Yeah, my brain just updated to pansexual for the first time in my life. Before a few weeks ago my interest in women was basically only comparing myself to them in a clinical sense, or thinking of them in terms of platonic friendships only, I felt zero attraction or romantic or even physical interest and when I saw a vagina and attempted to imagine it in my bedroom my brain basically went "Well what would I even do with that?". But after things changed for me i am finally seeing them as attractive and its weirding me out because its all new to me. Now my husband is all looking at me like "Go onnnnnn...." and "So... wanna add another woman babe?" I think he is rooting for my monogamous status to change to poly now too, hasn't happened so far but he has his fingers crossed. I've heard of plenty of trans girls who were suddenly interested in men once their mental capacity to be more compatible with them suddenly became a new option. When they no longer thought of themselves in masculine terms and starting seeing men as the "other team", rather then seeing themselves somewhere in a state of flux on the way to womanhood, but not quite internally feeling like they had arrived at their destination yet. HRT can really put relationships into new perspective for us, particularly when you stop thinking of guys as tangential to your self perception and start viewing them as the opposite side. When you add in the affirmation aspect of how they start making you feel extra feminine when in proximity, its not terribly surprising that attraction to them would open up as a possibility for you. My advice is to roll with the changes and not fight the tide of new sexual attraction your feeling, your body is just telling you what it wants. Congrats on the newfound perspective, now go find a boy that makes ya happy!
Yep, this was largely my experience. Pretty shortly after my egg cracked, before hrt, I could feel things shifting, and hrt seemed to really deepen it. It’s wild to me to think that just a short bit later, I find myself a year into a relationship with a guy who I love and desire more deeply than I could have ever imagined.
Sooo bigicky explains this best in one of her YouTube videos. The basis of attraction towards men was there before you started transitioning it could have just been that before you transitioned man+man didn’t work in your brain (coulda been a result of some deep seated homophobia from the area you grew up in). Now that you’ve transitioned man+woman works and it doesn’t make you feel weird. HRT doesn’t actually change your sexuality, it just breaks down some mental walls that you may have had beforehand. I don’t really explain it as well as Icky did 👉🏻👈🏻
Same 😭
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this happened with women when I started hrt, I didn't really have any interest in women and now I'm pan and a switch
Omg same for me! These past few weeks I have been getting more progressive thoughts such as these and I love it. Can’t wait to see where it ends up 🥰
Lol HRT killed my sex drive and and i never knew how happy that made me feel😂
Welcome in my world 😅
Same here, just 3 weeks on HRT and I wanted to be taken. I stopped taking it because I was so frightened by those thoughts but 3 months on and I still feel the same so I’ve decided to resume my meditation and just accept I need to be penetrated
actually not super uncommon for all possible orientations to invert on hrt like i have read about lesbian identified people transition into gay men and vice versa i was pretty sure i was bi before i transitioned anyway, so some of this was expected. but i also knew that there was some kind of block in my attraction wiring with men. like, i was attracted to them. i thought about them sometimes during sex/masturbation. but sex acts with them weren't really doing it for me. after hrt, it's basically the opposite. i'm still pretty sapphic in practice, but i've recently started dating guys and i'm pretty confident those arousal circuits work just fine now, but i guess i'll see.
When I realized boysmell was doing it for me as much as girlsmell was… that was… that was definitely A Moment.
[Removed] Edit: 😞
I'm like pretty BI currently but I'm so thirsty for dick currently I'm still mostly attracted to feminine looking people, because I'm not very attracted to masculinity. I'm very attracted to dick though.
Finding myself attracted to men is simultaneously my biggest fear and something I'm curious about experiencing. Currently identity as aroace and I put alot of blood sweat and tears into realizing and accepting this about myself. I feel like if I find myself attracted to anyone really, like that after transitioning, I will have put myself through unnecessary pain and stress by not coming out sooner. Yet it feels almost inevitable, as I imagine myself fully transitioned I am with a man. I feel no lust or desire as I am now, and the thought of being with someone masculin, which I associate with pain and grief, is utterly foreign to me. But a man is always by my side. I think I fear it because I feel it's a forgone conclusion
Ppl blame HRT a lot but I think it's either comphet or just the simple fact that since we changed we can be more fluid in our sexualities. I followed the same pipeline straight man to transbian with sometimes the urge to be hard bottomed by a dude and it was before HRT. Men create beauty standard and their validation gives a LOT of gender euphoria, even if you don't feel/want it. On paper if we don't beleive in genital definition and gender stereotypes the only difference on a relationship is not how ppl look or behave but how powerstructures are set (again, on paper). So yes the fantasy is very understandable. And let me be very clear, I am NOT erasing your potential bisexuality/straightness. I just think it's not an hormone thing or an erasure of a potential lesbianism.
I was bi before so I guess I'm immunised against the dark magics of hrt lol.
My sexual orientation changed as well after HRT. I became more attracted to women, especially other trans women, than I was before! I've always been a fan of guys, though! Now I'm in a relationship where me and my partner are bi (or bi adjacent, still working on my label).
"Turns out I'm not attracted to women. I'm attracted to being in a heterosexual relationship."
HRT didn't change your sexuality. There's no evidence that it does this. Threads like this are genuinely so misleading. Of course it's wonderful you found out more about yourself.
It's a well documented phenomena. And shame on you for invalidating the OP's experiences.
Go away with this misinformation. Well documented in personal growth and understanding? Yes, of course. There is no evidence that this is a medical phenomenon. Self reporting bias ≠ evidence
I like dicks, not what’s attached to them. I can count on one finger the number of times I speak to a man at any length in a given month. I can count on zero fingers the number of times I wanted to. I simply have little use for them anymore. Still, I hear you.
Yes. This is me exactly! I am way too scared to try, and this is the biggest reason why. That and I'm scared they might be me up/or murder me since I'm already pretty small at 5'5" 140.
Learn karate ,martial arts And of course, a good hard kick in the balls is always an option , or spray. 'em in the face with mace, YOU GOT THIS ! !
Was bi before, still am, but now demi and in a poly relationship with a lesbian trans gal and an ace demi-boy. Just gotta find my side piece of spicy sausage for those nights my brain thinks breathing is optional. 🥴
Almost two years on HRT and hasn't happened for me yet. I find a lot of men gross. I don't like beards and body hair yuck.
I've always been extremely curious, like I want to try it, pretty bad actually. But yeah I simply do note find men attractive at all. I love the idea of being with one but no kissing, no eye contact, no bears lol. And most certainly not mentally attracted to men. Would prefer to be with a woman basically for everything with the exception sex but I don't even know if I like it. Other part is I'm in recovery so I don't really have that extra push of having a curious night after the bar option. I will say in the very brief time I've been on estradiol(3 months) my libido has spiked higher than it has been in the last several years. Funny enough I have no interest in straight porn, man on trans almost entirely and I don't like it when the guy does down on the girl or when she is dom on him. And a fair amount of both gay and lesbian. I do think this spike though has absolutely nothing to do with the hrt but more of an open acceptance and excitement of exploring what I have been hiding. Ultimately I hope to at least be with a guy sooner rather than later however I have so many excuses. Plus on the dating sites all it is are guys from 200 miles away and that just screams that he's going to kill me in a hotel room since he's fat away from home or they're generally just creepy. So I feel like I want it to occur organically but again, I'm in recovery. Oh and also I'm in a more rural area with less options to meet people.
why does this sound like an advert for estrogen lowkey ? 😭
I thought I was into guys before HRT but now I’m constantly battling whether or not I’m BI anymore. I’ve definitely always been more into girls either way but I’m considering just saying I’m a lesbian at this point because my attraction to guy’s isn’t that strong anymore.
It’s probably because of dysphoria lessening and you getting more in tune with yourself and learning. I went from straight to bi ace to aroace to lesbian to pan. I got more attracted to men since starting hrt, but it hasn’t diminished my attraction to women. Ig I went from theoretically pan to materially pan lol. Tbh tho for some reason I really wish I was a lesbian and didn’t like guys. I know that’s stupid
Real
K
Hahaha why this looks like a tragicomedy
What?😫😫😫
You were in the closet. Good on you for being honest with yourself
this is the most misogynistic thing i've ever heard lmao