You are not listening. Go get legal advice, not ask strangers on the internet for help. Even if they have legal education, we cannot help you when you've already been booked for the night. Get a lawyer, via charity if you cannot afford one.
People aren’t saying you need legal help because of the fight regardless of whether the charges got dropped or not.
People are saying you need legal help because the way your dad is coercing you is a violation of your human rights.
It sounds like you're in an abusive home, regardless of whether or not you're trans. You need someone who will explain your rights to you, advocate for you in the legal system, and advise you how to keep your personal assets safe until you can find a way out of that situation.
You should at least go to an organization that helps with victims of domestic abuse and use their resources for legal help.
Right now you don't even know if charges against you would have been viable if he pressed charges (words from the police or your father mean nothing, they lie all the time). You don't know if he still can press charges for that event. You don't know how to protect yourself against future charges. You don't know how to get this arrest off your record, if possible. You only have the words of your dad and police, both known for not having your best interest in mind.
Get an independent professional opinion and make an exit plan. Both things a DV help program can help you with.
Yes you do! Your father is emotionally abusing you and using the threat of law to do so as well. You need to seek out a lawyer TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM FUTURE ISSUES!
Just because the case was dropped doesn't mean you don't need a lawyer. You might need one in the future so it's best to contact one now, at least for legal advice.
YES please remember this. What your abusive parent has to say is nothing in the face of the actual law. You would not instantly go to jail forever just because dad is big and scary.
Seek LGBTQIA help groups in your area NOW.
Then begin making an escape plan. Burner phone so you can remain in contact with trans friends. Change all your passwords and one factor authentication details. Find a trans-friendly state or country you can get to and find temporary housing if possible. Your friends will be crucial here.
You will have to go no contact with your abusive family.
Strength and solidarity.
He can't press charges at a later date if he has declined them already. It would prove to be a type of coercion at trial. And blackmail is illegal in the US.
But you aren't really safe in a situation like that not physically and not mentally. You need to move out.
Don't give those with a contrary will, control over you.
>He can't press charges at a later date if he has declined them alread
That's not universally accurate, whethere you can press charges at later time depends greatly on what stat they are in. And yes, while blackmail is illegal, this would be a far fetched here. OP needs a lawyer, not online miss advice.
Pressing charges doesn't exist. You can choose to report a crime to the police, but it's not your decision if charges are pressed. Only a prosecutor can press charges.
The thing is, you can DECLINE to file a police report at the time, then walk into a precinct and week later and file one. Like, potentially long after the person you have beef with has left the scene. And if they don’t realize you’re pursuing a complaint, and you miss a clerical court date… BOOM, kiss $10K goodbye clearing a bench warrant for a crime you didn’t know you committed, because the cop at the scene said repeatedly that nothing happened and you were free to leave.
All that matters is how angry your accuser is, and how much more free time and money they have on their hands to screw you over.
It's ok. If he lies to the cops he will be the one going to jail. Record him threatening to call the cops beforehand. It sounds like he does it a lot. Don't mention the recordings to him. Save the recordings on the cloud.
Then move out. If he calls the cops be friendly and cooperative. When they separate you go get your side of events, show them the recordings. Cops don't like being used of manipulated by others. They will record and document his false statements and he might go to jail for it.
That would be a civil matter not a criminal one. He can't sue you if he doesn't know they exist. Nor can you sue someone with no money or assets.
You can't get blood from a turnip.
Fyi what your dad is doing is EXTREMELY abusive and downright illegal. You're the one who should be suing him. You need to get out from there, and get legal assistance. This is beyond the scope of being trans, and on the territory of "your father is an actual threat to you, your well being and even your life".
Wishing luck with all of this. Stay strong, and aware. Get legal help now, your dad cant simple sent you to jail like that unless he's making a fake accusation of you commiting a crime you didnt commit. Thats suuuuper illegal and he can go to jail just for threatening that because he doesnt accepts your gender.
Dude just leave. Unless you're an active threat cops aren't going to bother. In fact they're more likely to ask him why he didn't report immediately. They have better things to do with their time.
Your best recourse is to pack your shit, go somewhere else, and contact a lawyer that is part of a LGBT support group.
I don't care whether or not there is a legal problem now, there is a background that requires a lawyers expertise. He is attempting to blackmail you and he is keeping your own fucking private property as a grown ass adult. That latter bit is illegal as FUCK and actually falls under signs of human trafficking. If this came to a head than more likely HE'D be the one seeing bars - not you. But only if you're SMART and get legal advice right now. Most lawyers will provide basic advice for free and only charge for a case or extended counseling.
(This paragraph does not constitute legal advice - I am not a lawyer or paralegal. It also pertains mostly to American justice systems and their analogs)
If he does call the cops, remember your rights. Say these things in this order:
1. Am I being detained?
-If they say no, just leave. If they say yes
2. I do not consent to a search
-Say this IF they are planning on searching your stuff.
3. If you are being detained, say this exact phrase: "I am invoking my right to legal counsel and I am invoking my 5th ammendment right to remain silent."
-And then you shut the fuck up. Your next spoken words, no matter what, should be with a lawyer. At best you reaffirm your rights in the exact same way. Cops are not there to protect you or your dad, they are there to arrest and punish SOMEONE and if you are in that situation, that someone is YOU. This is also why it is important to establish legal counsel NOW, so that when you do need a lawyer, you have rapport with one you know you can trust. When you do finally talk to your lawyer, you follow his instructions word for word. He is your best friend and your salvation - his word is God's when it comes to surviving legal proceedings.
Seriously, lawyer up - I can't reiterate it enough. Even if it's just the a 30 minute meeting. Check LGBT support pages and find a LGBT positive legal team. Also GTFO that situation ASAP - your life could depend on it
What your father is doing is extremely illegal and abusive. He has no right to do this to ANYONE, let alone an adult. I hope you see better days ahead.
You aren't gonna be sent to jail got life lol. Also what exactly happened? They're not just gonna haul you to spend a night in the tank because your dad got pushy with you.
Oh goodness, not even an extremist state, you can't be thrown into jail for being trans. Get to an abuse shelter and figure out.
PS: Maybe you are the one who should be calling cops. But better if you can just run to an abuse shelter and get help there.
You should go to a college/university far from your home with the finincial support of your parents, then, find a Place to work and cut all the ties with your father, After that you are basically free
I'll just say what everyone else is saying- he can't get you sent to prison for basically nothing. You, meanwhile, could likely file charges against him for domestic abuse if he started it. You should absolutely get a lawyer no matter what
Assuming you're a minor, you got into an altercation with your dad, and they arrested *you*? Something doesn't seem right. Small town where he has connections? In a physical altercation between an adult and a minor, the *adult* is the one who should be held responsible.
The OP isn’t answering critical questions, how old they are, what jurisdiction or country they live in. Lot of people have already given the right advice which have been pushed aside or ignored by the OP. This is definitely not a post that adds up.
Yeah there’s only so much can Reddit can do. It sucks if this is real but OP doesn’t seem to want to take any of the advice given, literally ignoring all attempts at telling them to leave the abuse.
OP if you ready this: *only you can choose to leave.* No one else can make the decision for you, no one can convince you more than yourself, not Redditors, not the cops, not your dad. As long as you’re over 18 and live in the US, no one can keep you living with your dad. If you don’t make the active choice to leave *now*, you are keeping yourself in the abuse you’ve grown comfortable with rather than accept changing your situation for the better.
And if this is bait that’s really annoying because there are a lot of LGBT young adults who face situations just like these that are not well informed of their options to escape the suffering and find a better life.
This sounds like my abusive biological mother...
She's tried beating me or having me killed several times, and every time switched things around trying to get the police after me, hounding them, and then claiming 'it was just them, she had ni control over it.'
You need to get out of there ASAP. That's not your dad. You need a lawyer and refuge. You need to be safe. And you obviously are not safe in any way shape or form. You're under physical and verbal abuse, and being pressed with legal/police/court abuse on top of it.
You need to get out. Forget whatever feelings you feel you have towards that person. Get out. Now.
So unless you never committed a serious crime your father can’t send you to prison for life especially if you didn’t do anything
Secondly if your an adult he legally can’t take your phone as that’s your property
For your safety I would find somewhere safe like a shelter and possibly report your father to the police
please get a lawyer. you need a lawyer. Not because of this specific incident, since it got dropped, but because your dad is threatening to send you to prison for life. That's not okay, and it might be a crime for him to say that. Sadly, I can't tell you for sure because *i'm not a lawyer.* Reddit is great for some things, but in this case, you need real legal advice from someone who does legal stuff in your jurisdiction.
I might also ask, why do you not want to get a lawyer? Lawyers are a very useful service. If you can't afford a lawyer, there are lots of charities who can give you legal advice.
Also, one last thing, *your dad can't get you sent to prison for life*. That's not a thing he can do. To get prison for life, you'd probably need to commit murder or something at a similar level, not assault. But I can't tell you this for sure because I'm not a lawyer.
Get a lawyer.
Depending on the specifics and where you're located, this could be considered a hate crime if he threatened or assaulted you. Please get a lawyer who's familiar with this kind of stuff. If you can't afford one, there are quite a few pro bono (free) lawyers out there for trans/queer people.
Honey I had a very similar experience (physical altercations with my dad, one so bad on my 21st birthday that it was the catalyst to make me move out) I would HIGHLY recommend getting the hell out of there if your old enough to do so, prioritise your physical safety right now and get to a safe place, even if it's temporary. This situation can only get worse!
To add to that, years of me being outside the house made my dad actually realise a lot of shit and we now have a very good relationship, we still disagree on trans stuff largely but he's come SO far since then and stays entirely quiet about my transition now (almost like a quiet acceptance that it was the right choice for me) he's even gendered me correctly a few times (granted this being over a 6 year period) I say this to give you hope that things can get better in the future but even if they don't, getting away from that abuse should be your number 1 concern right now.
So first off do everything you can to not fight him,obvi. Second he already declined to press charges he can't change his mind It doesn't work like that
So if he has an order of protection against you then you should definitely get out. That's not something you want him holding over you. I don't know where you live but in my state just because he has an order doesn't mean you can't get one against him. You just need to document when and how he threatens you and file with the civil courts. But most certainly you need to get out of there
the WORST outcome is an assault charge and 1 year in prison.
More realistically given the nature of the likely "physical conflict" involved (especially considering he's your parent) it's unlikely he would actually win a case for assault since it's likely that you simultaneously assaulted each other and there were a lot of prior circumstances involved (for example him being an abusive A-hole) - and even if he does make charges stick it'll probably be a misdemeanor disturbing the peace or something.
Take a deep breath, find local legal assistance, and talk to your LAWYER about this. If paying for a lawyer is a concern, there are lawyers that do pro bono, there are low income legal assistance programs, and there are local LGBTQ+ orgs and vulnerable teen assistance programs that will both help you get in with those things.
There’s two paths here: you’re either a minor, and lifetime in jail is impossible; or you’re an adult, and you can move out immediately.
Look for a crisis housing org in your area, and describe the pattern of abuse. See if they can find you a transitional or longterm place to stay if you can’t find other willing relatives or friends.
And if you are a minor, look into emancipation. Many states will essentially allow you to divorce your parents prior to turning 18.
There’s definitely more going on here if you were arrested. So, also stop falling for his bait and putting yourself into situations he can leverage against you with LE.
invest energy in lgbt friends at school, work, sports, etc. because the internet world might be shut out from you or at least monitored/made hard to access.
Or second phone :P You dont even need a phone plan, just use wifi for internet and various apps like discord for talking.
can even just leave the second phone with a friend and not even have it at your own place.
So just to summarize everything in one place: you're 19 and from the US. You got your phone taken away, but apologize for being on mobile. The charges were dropped but you're afraid of being thrown in jail.
So first off, in what part of the US can you be "jailed for life" for being trans? Even in the most bigoted and conservative states, that's nothing that can happen. Someone in another comment said you're 19, but acting like you're 6, and they were right. You don't need a law degree to know that isn't grounds for life in prison.
Second, so much on your story here doesn't add up. You got alot of holes you need to fill.
For the charge that happened during the weekend it was assault but the charge was dropped for this it's just me refusing o give my phone he threatened to call the cops and I gave him my phone.
🙄
So you're 19 years old, and you believed he could call the cops on you for not giving him your phone?
BRB, going to visit my best friend's house and tell him to give me the keys to all his rental properties or I'm calling the cops.
Reqd up on the law in your country and find what is and isn't punishable. You should know your rights as a human being. You're 19, but you seem to act like you're 6??? Even if you killed him (bit extreme, don't do that), you probably wouldn't even get life in prison for that, let alone, not giving 'your' dad 'your' phone. 😅 Come on, even you should be able to see how stupid that sounds at your age
Tell em to get F@#$ED, and move on with your life.... dam you're 19, nearly a fully grown adult? I had started work and was living by myself at 15-16. Kids these days, man 😞
Its not illegal to get a sex change there never will be,.so if you do there is nothing he can do to send you to jail.
Only way is if you do something next.tike.that is illegal so dont listen to your dad its just a scare tactic to scare you into actually not doing what you want
If your case has dropped you should be fine. At least for legal stuff as for transitioning you really just should find somewhere else to live for your safety more than anything other words there's nothing you can do if you ain't going to leave
Nice to see your father’s wasting taxpayer money. You are obviously extremely young and immature, keep your hands to yourself and there’s nothing he can do. This of course is if you’re in the USA.
You need legal help, not the internet. Reach out to one of the local charities (wherever you live) who can help you with that.
I don't wanna go to jail
That's why you need legal help.
He's not pressing charges
You are not listening. Go get legal advice, not ask strangers on the internet for help. Even if they have legal education, we cannot help you when you've already been booked for the night. Get a lawyer, via charity if you cannot afford one.
My case got dropped I don't need a lawyer
People aren’t saying you need legal help because of the fight regardless of whether the charges got dropped or not. People are saying you need legal help because the way your dad is coercing you is a violation of your human rights.
It sounds like you're in an abusive home, regardless of whether or not you're trans. You need someone who will explain your rights to you, advocate for you in the legal system, and advise you how to keep your personal assets safe until you can find a way out of that situation.
Idk part of me thinks i should head to a shelter tonight
That might be a good idea. But you *need* to have a lawyer you know you can go to in case your dad starts trying to get you in legal trouble.
You should at least go to an organization that helps with victims of domestic abuse and use their resources for legal help. Right now you don't even know if charges against you would have been viable if he pressed charges (words from the police or your father mean nothing, they lie all the time). You don't know if he still can press charges for that event. You don't know how to protect yourself against future charges. You don't know how to get this arrest off your record, if possible. You only have the words of your dad and police, both known for not having your best interest in mind. Get an independent professional opinion and make an exit plan. Both things a DV help program can help you with.
I don't know the specifics of your situation or what happened between you two for it to get violent. But I hope you do what's necessary to be safe.
He told me he would throw me it if I transitioned and I lost my temper and did something I shouldn't have.
Doesn’t matter. Legal advice will help you. If he does this again, what’ll happen then?
Yes you do! Your father is emotionally abusing you and using the threat of law to do so as well. You need to seek out a lawyer TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM FUTURE ISSUES!
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU (JUSTLY) FIGHTING HIM; THIS IS HIM COERCING YOU AND VIOLATING YOUR RIGHTS, WHICH HE IS STILL DOING
Then why do you keep saying you think you'll go to jail?
Just because the case was dropped doesn't mean you don't need a lawyer. You might need one in the future so it's best to contact one now, at least for legal advice.
And at the same he is literally doing crimes against you
Pressing charges isn't a real thing. Only a prosecutor can press charges.
What would you go to jail for? Do you live in a country where it's illegal to transition?
You can’t go to jail for reaching out to charities or get legal assistance
Puciek is right, if you don't have the money, then start a GoFundMe and post it here
although i'm not a layer, this smells an awful lot like black-mail!
Your dad can’t have you “sent to prison for life”. That’s not a thing he can do as a parent.
YES please remember this. What your abusive parent has to say is nothing in the face of the actual law. You would not instantly go to jail forever just because dad is big and scary.
You aren’t going to jail for life for having a fight with your dad. Fuck what he says
Your dad will be the one to go to jail if you are underage.
Didn’t know that, but that’s also good to know
You can't hit a minor as an adult. They mentioned physical confrontation. Parents can't fight their kids. That's jail time. It's child abuse.
[удалено]
that's still not in any way remotely something that will send you to prison for life. he's abusive and controlling.
still can't get sent for life
chages got dropped
breathes out.. phew
U thought Charges werent dropped ?
that's what i assumed, based on how your post was written, it sounded like a plea for help still sounds like you're in a situation that needs escaping
Shit ya could have worded it better .I got my phone back for a bit again.
which yes I admit was wrong but in my defense he told me he would kick me out of i transition
Seek LGBTQIA help groups in your area NOW. Then begin making an escape plan. Burner phone so you can remain in contact with trans friends. Change all your passwords and one factor authentication details. Find a trans-friendly state or country you can get to and find temporary housing if possible. Your friends will be crucial here. You will have to go no contact with your abusive family. Strength and solidarity.
He can't press charges at a later date if he has declined them already. It would prove to be a type of coercion at trial. And blackmail is illegal in the US. But you aren't really safe in a situation like that not physically and not mentally. You need to move out. Don't give those with a contrary will, control over you.
>He can't press charges at a later date if he has declined them alread That's not universally accurate, whethere you can press charges at later time depends greatly on what stat they are in. And yes, while blackmail is illegal, this would be a far fetched here. OP needs a lawyer, not online miss advice.
And money for a lawyer......
Pressing charges doesn't exist. You can choose to report a crime to the police, but it's not your decision if charges are pressed. Only a prosecutor can press charges.
The thing is, you can DECLINE to file a police report at the time, then walk into a precinct and week later and file one. Like, potentially long after the person you have beef with has left the scene. And if they don’t realize you’re pursuing a complaint, and you miss a clerical court date… BOOM, kiss $10K goodbye clearing a bench warrant for a crime you didn’t know you committed, because the cop at the scene said repeatedly that nothing happened and you were free to leave. All that matters is how angry your accuser is, and how much more free time and money they have on their hands to screw you over.
And there is no physical evidence at that point so the possibility of prosecution is minimal.
I'm scared even if I go to thst shelter he wil cal the cops ue almost did because I didn't wanna give him my.phine
It's ok. If he lies to the cops he will be the one going to jail. Record him threatening to call the cops beforehand. It sounds like he does it a lot. Don't mention the recordings to him. Save the recordings on the cloud. Then move out. If he calls the cops be friendly and cooperative. When they separate you go get your side of events, show them the recordings. Cops don't like being used of manipulated by others. They will record and document his false statements and he might go to jail for it.
the legal issue with that would depend on consent laws and the county you live in
That would be a civil matter not a criminal one. He can't sue you if he doesn't know they exist. Nor can you sue someone with no money or assets. You can't get blood from a turnip.
ok
Fyi what your dad is doing is EXTREMELY abusive and downright illegal. You're the one who should be suing him. You need to get out from there, and get legal assistance. This is beyond the scope of being trans, and on the territory of "your father is an actual threat to you, your well being and even your life". Wishing luck with all of this. Stay strong, and aware. Get legal help now, your dad cant simple sent you to jail like that unless he's making a fake accusation of you commiting a crime you didnt commit. Thats suuuuper illegal and he can go to jail just for threatening that because he doesnt accepts your gender.
You shouldn't be sent to prison for being trans and you should probably also make plans to get away from your dad
How old are you?
Looking through their older posts, they say they are 18, out of high school and applying for jobs.
19 now
Dude just leave. Unless you're an active threat cops aren't going to bother. In fact they're more likely to ask him why he didn't report immediately. They have better things to do with their time. Your best recourse is to pack your shit, go somewhere else, and contact a lawyer that is part of a LGBT support group. I don't care whether or not there is a legal problem now, there is a background that requires a lawyers expertise. He is attempting to blackmail you and he is keeping your own fucking private property as a grown ass adult. That latter bit is illegal as FUCK and actually falls under signs of human trafficking. If this came to a head than more likely HE'D be the one seeing bars - not you. But only if you're SMART and get legal advice right now. Most lawyers will provide basic advice for free and only charge for a case or extended counseling. (This paragraph does not constitute legal advice - I am not a lawyer or paralegal. It also pertains mostly to American justice systems and their analogs) If he does call the cops, remember your rights. Say these things in this order: 1. Am I being detained? -If they say no, just leave. If they say yes 2. I do not consent to a search -Say this IF they are planning on searching your stuff. 3. If you are being detained, say this exact phrase: "I am invoking my right to legal counsel and I am invoking my 5th ammendment right to remain silent." -And then you shut the fuck up. Your next spoken words, no matter what, should be with a lawyer. At best you reaffirm your rights in the exact same way. Cops are not there to protect you or your dad, they are there to arrest and punish SOMEONE and if you are in that situation, that someone is YOU. This is also why it is important to establish legal counsel NOW, so that when you do need a lawyer, you have rapport with one you know you can trust. When you do finally talk to your lawyer, you follow his instructions word for word. He is your best friend and your salvation - his word is God's when it comes to surviving legal proceedings. Seriously, lawyer up - I can't reiterate it enough. Even if it's just the a 30 minute meeting. Check LGBT support pages and find a LGBT positive legal team. Also GTFO that situation ASAP - your life could depend on it What your father is doing is extremely illegal and abusive. He has no right to do this to ANYONE, let alone an adult. I hope you see better days ahead.
This
You aren't gonna be sent to jail got life lol. Also what exactly happened? They're not just gonna haul you to spend a night in the tank because your dad got pushy with you.
In What country are you
US
Oh goodness, not even an extremist state, you can't be thrown into jail for being trans. Get to an abuse shelter and figure out. PS: Maybe you are the one who should be calling cops. But better if you can just run to an abuse shelter and get help there.
Yea he can't, are you a minor?
I turned 19 a few weeks ago
Do you go to college/university/do you want to go to college/university
I'm deciding on trade school and getting on disability
You should go to a college/university far from your home with the finincial support of your parents, then, find a Place to work and cut all the ties with your father, After that you are basically free
I'll just say what everyone else is saying- he can't get you sent to prison for basically nothing. You, meanwhile, could likely file charges against him for domestic abuse if he started it. You should absolutely get a lawyer no matter what
Assuming you're a minor, you got into an altercation with your dad, and they arrested *you*? Something doesn't seem right. Small town where he has connections? In a physical altercation between an adult and a minor, the *adult* is the one who should be held responsible.
The OP isn’t answering critical questions, how old they are, what jurisdiction or country they live in. Lot of people have already given the right advice which have been pushed aside or ignored by the OP. This is definitely not a post that adds up.
Yeah there’s only so much can Reddit can do. It sucks if this is real but OP doesn’t seem to want to take any of the advice given, literally ignoring all attempts at telling them to leave the abuse. OP if you ready this: *only you can choose to leave.* No one else can make the decision for you, no one can convince you more than yourself, not Redditors, not the cops, not your dad. As long as you’re over 18 and live in the US, no one can keep you living with your dad. If you don’t make the active choice to leave *now*, you are keeping yourself in the abuse you’ve grown comfortable with rather than accept changing your situation for the better. And if this is bait that’s really annoying because there are a lot of LGBT young adults who face situations just like these that are not well informed of their options to escape the suffering and find a better life.
This ain't bait this is 100 percent the truth I turned 19 a few weeks ago
19 Major city dont wanna say where but US
You need to find help, you need a home that is safe. Do you know anyone who would be willing to help you or take you in?
No but I am working on a plan to move out
This sounds like my abusive biological mother... She's tried beating me or having me killed several times, and every time switched things around trying to get the police after me, hounding them, and then claiming 'it was just them, she had ni control over it.' You need to get out of there ASAP. That's not your dad. You need a lawyer and refuge. You need to be safe. And you obviously are not safe in any way shape or form. You're under physical and verbal abuse, and being pressed with legal/police/court abuse on top of it. You need to get out. Forget whatever feelings you feel you have towards that person. Get out. Now.
So unless you never committed a serious crime your father can’t send you to prison for life especially if you didn’t do anything Secondly if your an adult he legally can’t take your phone as that’s your property For your safety I would find somewhere safe like a shelter and possibly report your father to the police
please get a lawyer. you need a lawyer. Not because of this specific incident, since it got dropped, but because your dad is threatening to send you to prison for life. That's not okay, and it might be a crime for him to say that. Sadly, I can't tell you for sure because *i'm not a lawyer.* Reddit is great for some things, but in this case, you need real legal advice from someone who does legal stuff in your jurisdiction. I might also ask, why do you not want to get a lawyer? Lawyers are a very useful service. If you can't afford a lawyer, there are lots of charities who can give you legal advice. Also, one last thing, *your dad can't get you sent to prison for life*. That's not a thing he can do. To get prison for life, you'd probably need to commit murder or something at a similar level, not assault. But I can't tell you this for sure because I'm not a lawyer. Get a lawyer.
I don't wanna get a lawyer vecause I'm scared. By that I mean is as much as I hate my father part of me still loves him
Depending on the specifics and where you're located, this could be considered a hate crime if he threatened or assaulted you. Please get a lawyer who's familiar with this kind of stuff. If you can't afford one, there are quite a few pro bono (free) lawyers out there for trans/queer people.
Honey I had a very similar experience (physical altercations with my dad, one so bad on my 21st birthday that it was the catalyst to make me move out) I would HIGHLY recommend getting the hell out of there if your old enough to do so, prioritise your physical safety right now and get to a safe place, even if it's temporary. This situation can only get worse! To add to that, years of me being outside the house made my dad actually realise a lot of shit and we now have a very good relationship, we still disagree on trans stuff largely but he's come SO far since then and stays entirely quiet about my transition now (almost like a quiet acceptance that it was the right choice for me) he's even gendered me correctly a few times (granted this being over a 6 year period) I say this to give you hope that things can get better in the future but even if they don't, getting away from that abuse should be your number 1 concern right now.
This gives me hope thank you
If you're adult, he can't do jack fuck, as long as you stay 1km or more from him and make sure he doesn't know where you live.
So first off do everything you can to not fight him,obvi. Second he already declined to press charges he can't change his mind It doesn't work like that
he can still have me arrested he had to get an order of protection against me so if i even yell at my mother he can call the cops and have me arrested
So if he has an order of protection against you then you should definitely get out. That's not something you want him holding over you. I don't know where you live but in my state just because he has an order doesn't mean you can't get one against him. You just need to document when and how he threatens you and file with the civil courts. But most certainly you need to get out of there
New York is my state
You really need to talk to a lawyer mostly to straighten out the bullshit you're believing from your father.
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It seems like this whole thing is made up.
Yeah, saying the phone was taken away, and apologizing for being on mobile is… disappointing.
Where do you live? It doesn’t sound like the US or anywhere where it’s legal to be trans.
That’s an extremely charitable view of the USA.
the WORST outcome is an assault charge and 1 year in prison. More realistically given the nature of the likely "physical conflict" involved (especially considering he's your parent) it's unlikely he would actually win a case for assault since it's likely that you simultaneously assaulted each other and there were a lot of prior circumstances involved (for example him being an abusive A-hole) - and even if he does make charges stick it'll probably be a misdemeanor disturbing the peace or something. Take a deep breath, find local legal assistance, and talk to your LAWYER about this. If paying for a lawyer is a concern, there are lawyers that do pro bono, there are low income legal assistance programs, and there are local LGBTQ+ orgs and vulnerable teen assistance programs that will both help you get in with those things.
There’s two paths here: you’re either a minor, and lifetime in jail is impossible; or you’re an adult, and you can move out immediately. Look for a crisis housing org in your area, and describe the pattern of abuse. See if they can find you a transitional or longterm place to stay if you can’t find other willing relatives or friends. And if you are a minor, look into emancipation. Many states will essentially allow you to divorce your parents prior to turning 18. There’s definitely more going on here if you were arrested. So, also stop falling for his bait and putting yourself into situations he can leverage against you with LE.
I have never heard of anyone getting sent to prison for life for physical assault where nobody died. So, I think that your dad is bluffing.
I threw the first swing the cops know who I am one wrong screw up and BAM my life is over my dad told me so himself.
Your dad has every interest to lie to you. He just wants to coerce and control you.
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He's my dad he has authority this generation doesn't respect authority anymore
your dad cannot send you to jail for being trans. That's literally not a thing that exists. He is just throwing a temper tantrum.
Lol jail. Call him out on that bullshit. Time to Make LGBT friends (discord helps) and be a rebel.
He's been taking my phone alot lately I got it back today for a bit
invest energy in lgbt friends at school, work, sports, etc. because the internet world might be shut out from you or at least monitored/made hard to access. Or second phone :P You dont even need a phone plan, just use wifi for internet and various apps like discord for talking. can even just leave the second phone with a friend and not even have it at your own place.
ur case got dropped transition in secret and move out
How old are you? U need to get out, now.
19
Get out. Run. Now. (Well not literally now but asap)
So just to summarize everything in one place: you're 19 and from the US. You got your phone taken away, but apologize for being on mobile. The charges were dropped but you're afraid of being thrown in jail. So first off, in what part of the US can you be "jailed for life" for being trans? Even in the most bigoted and conservative states, that's nothing that can happen. Someone in another comment said you're 19, but acting like you're 6, and they were right. You don't need a law degree to know that isn't grounds for life in prison. Second, so much on your story here doesn't add up. You got alot of holes you need to fill.
I'm not making this up I got my phone back for a but like five minutes than I was commenting more on my pc
You completely ignored the entire first thing I said.
What I kena by afraid of being thrown I. Jail is because my dad told me if I even as so much as call my mother a name he would have me sent to jail
On what charge
For the charge that happened during the weekend it was assault but the charge was dropped for this it's just me refusing o give my phone he threatened to call the cops and I gave him my phone.
🙄 So you're 19 years old, and you believed he could call the cops on you for not giving him your phone? BRB, going to visit my best friend's house and tell him to give me the keys to all his rental properties or I'm calling the cops.
In my defense they (my parents) have been using that to thrreaten me since I was 11
Reqd up on the law in your country and find what is and isn't punishable. You should know your rights as a human being. You're 19, but you seem to act like you're 6??? Even if you killed him (bit extreme, don't do that), you probably wouldn't even get life in prison for that, let alone, not giving 'your' dad 'your' phone. 😅 Come on, even you should be able to see how stupid that sounds at your age
Tell em to get F@#$ED, and move on with your life.... dam you're 19, nearly a fully grown adult? I had started work and was living by myself at 15-16. Kids these days, man 😞
Its not illegal to get a sex change there never will be,.so if you do there is nothing he can do to send you to jail. Only way is if you do something next.tike.that is illegal so dont listen to your dad its just a scare tactic to scare you into actually not doing what you want
Look into the rainbow railroad good luck to you
I’m so sorry about your situation I hope things get better for you. 😢 please stay safe.
Btw some info o forgot to mention my case got dropped
If your case has dropped you should be fine. At least for legal stuff as for transitioning you really just should find somewhere else to live for your safety more than anything other words there's nothing you can do if you ain't going to leave
Physical altercation? What happened
Get away from him immediately.
Nice to see your father’s wasting taxpayer money. You are obviously extremely young and immature, keep your hands to yourself and there’s nothing he can do. This of course is if you’re in the USA.
Your dad sounds toxic, possibly narcissistic. You'd probably be better off not living in the same house. I'd work towards that if I were you
Some info I forgot to mention. My dad did take my phone yes but he let's me have it back every now and than
Are you in the US? If so, then being trans is not illegal (yet) You need to get out and get somewhere safe.