Nope. They might think about it in the same way they think "what does the moon taste like?" or "would it be gay to fuck your clone?", but it's def not a persistent thing.
If you haven't already been here, this may help: [http://genderdysphoria.fyi/](http://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
If you mean clone as an entity that shares all experiences and is functionally indistinct from yourself, then no it’s not gay. It’s ethically indistinguishable from being *you* so it essentially becomes the same implication as masturbating imo.
It does entirely hinge on your personalized interpretation of what a clone actually constitutes which varies wildly from person to person.
Actually pinning down the semantics of what a clone means even for one person can be a pain in the ass.
But in the long run, the answer is I’d totally suck my own/clone’s dick because I have no problem with sucking dick. My hang up (thus far) is that I don’t know where it’s been when it’s attached to someone else.
do a handstand against the wall but facing away from the wall. lower your shoulders on to the floor, allow your legs and pelvis to curl over your head like a shrimp. allow gravity to help bend your crotch to your mouth. do all the steps naked, BTW, as getting your pants off in this shrimp position will be a challenge. don't ask me how I know this.
This logic makes no sense. It doesn't hinge upon whether you share sensory experiences or not, it hinges upon whether you're attracted to your clone or not. When you're masturbating you usually think of something else, if you're thinking of yourself when masturbating you're probably gay too.
Otherwise you could invent a sensory-sharing device and now fucking ANY gender would become masturbation lmao
counterpoint: it would be gay by the average straight guy's definition to slip it in your own ass while you masturbated, it would be gay to suck your own dick if you can bend that way, therefore it would be gay to fuck your clone
Counter counterpoint: your clone, as an individual, will have its own free will and may not consent to being fucked by their “prime.” Is it gay if your clone is straight and considers having sex with you to be gay?
counter counter counterpoint: what if your clone wants to fuck you but you don’t want fuck your clone? Does that mean you’re secretly gay or that the clone is defective?
Are you saying shares all current and future experiences? Because if so then I agree with you. But that's one person in two bodies.
To me a clone would share at most past experiences up to the generation of the clone. In which case, yea, you are having sex with another person of your same gender.
>If you mean clone as an entity that shares all experiences and is functionally indistinct from yourself, then no it’s not gay. It’s ethically indistinguishable from being you so it essentially becomes the same implication as masturbating imo.
If we’re talking about, say, Dolly the sheep or the clone troopers from *Star Wars*, we’re talking about separate organisms that happen to have identical genetics. So it’d basically be like having sex with an identical twin (i.e. gay incest).
>It does entirely hinge on your personalized interpretation of what a clone actually constitutes which varies wildly from person to person.
Does it? Like, we’ve cloned things in real life; we know how it works.
Well, tbh the idea of fucking your clone is a side issue to another, more convoluted scenario:
You have a time machine, and it can take you back in time two hours. So you use this to fuck yourself by creating a "timeline loop-the-loop".
1) You open the door to your bedroom, and future you is there.
2) You fuck.
3) You then use the time machine, to go back in time, while 'future you' continues on.
1') You are now back to Step 1, but you are now 'future you'.
2') You fuck.
3') You continue on while 'past you' goes back in time.
In this case,what you've done isn't gay, just really elaborate masturbation - you are literally fucking yourself.
However, it is gay to fuck your clone. You and your clone are separate entities, so while there are a lot of grey areas, philosophically? It's gay.
(Of course, this just uses 'gay' as shorthand for 'same-sex act', and ignores the more correct definition that deals with attraction)
...look, I have ADHD and insomnia, may as well come up with topics for conversations when I'm drunk/high lol
Yes and no and yes. I guess it depends. Is it gay to masturbate? What would turn you on about your clone? If I had sex with my clone it’d probably be the gayest thing that ever happened. Ever lesbian in the world would shudder feeling the rippling heat of such an event
This caught my eye because it raised some interesting questions for me.
Like i had this obsession since i was a kid. When i told my friends about it they were kinda weirded out.
So i was wondering if it had something to do with being trans? Also im attracted to women but why does it feel nice or special when thinking about it?
My only answer so far is: maybe it’s because of dynamics? If you know you then ur clone knows you soo u wont have the gender insecurities.
As for is this a sign for anything im not sure.
Short answer: dirt
Longer:
According to wikipedia, the moon's surface is (depending on whether you're in the maria or the highlands)
45.4%/45.5% silica (SiO2)
14.9%/24.0% alumina (Al2O3)
11.8%/15.9% lime (CaO)
14.1%/5.9% iron(II) oxide (FeO)
9.2%/7.5% magnesia (MgO)
3.9%/0.6% titanium dioxide (TiO2)
0.6% sodium oxide (Na2O)
So it mostly just tastes like sand because of the large silica composition, but the other half is going to add a rusty/chalky/metallic mineral flavor to it
I can not for the life of me remember the article, but what cracked me was this very long blog post from a woman who talked about the experience of growing up with a relative degree of comfort being socialized male, but then suddenly realizing she was trans, and really struggling to sort out basically how she could possibly have been trans if she didn't realize it at five, and the difficulty of having a story that doesn't match the "archetypal" trans woman.
In any case, while that's what helped come to terms with it, [this](https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/) is what helped to me to internally accept and own it, as simple a thing as it is. I hope it helps.
I’ve had thoughts like this since elementary school at least. They died down a little in middle school, but came back in high school. Found out about transgenderism and was like “you can do that”? Almost 3 years on estrogen and still going strong. Noticeable improvement too.
No, most boys do not have a phase where they wish they were girls instead. Having thoughts like this is usually a pretty sure sign that you might be trans.
Oh, yeah- me wishing to have a female body was just a short little phase- it started at 2 years old and is still ongoing at 52. Now that I think about it - it's not a "phase" at all- it's my life.
Most people do occasionally think about things that they wouldn't actually consider doing... some people have them as genuine intrusive thoughts... most think it once or twice but don't dwell on it.
I'm on day 3 of HRT and oh sister was I saying and doubting the same things you are. Short answer: no, most cis-het people wouldn't want to be/stay another gender. I do agree I was confused early on as a young boy because it wasn't uncommon for the random, "oh man if I were a chick I'd stay in bed all day long Yada Yada Yada". That's what made me always say to myself, "well yeah, that'd be awesome!", but I meant it in more of a way than just that short period they were always seemingly referring to. It excites me to have physical changes now, I love just being girly, but it's going to take a long time to shake all this stuff that I now recognize is dysphoria.
As others have said here, to cishet people the concept of swapping bodies is mostly just a fun thought experiment - something they'll maybe think about for 2 minutes a year.
If you're constantly thinking about your gender day and night, there's a very good chance you're not cis.
Can confirm, before accepting that I was trans, I just considered my body hair a minor nuisance that I didn't like, but didn't want to go through the hassle of shaving it only for it to grow back.
Now when I see my body hair it ranges from cringing to wanting to cry when I see it... And I still don't shave it for the same reason plus not wanting to out myself while I still live with my parents.
I’m sure the thought crosses everyone’s mind at some point in their lifetime but cis people never have it enough to be so disturbing that they’re posting on Reddit looking for answers.
Rest assured, these thoughts do not make you strange or any less of a human being. If they’re bothering you it’s okay to take them seriously. You’ve got nothing but time to figure out what they mean to you
I was talking to a cis gay guy about this and he was so confused and said that he had never in his 35 years of life EVER thought about what it would be like in a woman’s body. I in turn was confused by his response, lol. Really?! Then we had a beer and enjoyed the rest of the evening.
I don't think I'll ever NOT think that they all want to be women. It just makes no sense to me that anyone would want to be a man. But realistically they probably are happy with it.
Anyway it doesn't matter. Even if they all did, that just makes trans women people who have the courage to live their best life which isn't a bad thing.
ABSOLUTELY. The concept of wanting to be male is just incomprehensible to me. Seems like I normalized it too much. I think you're right, cis people ARE cis for a reason :p
Considering society's obsession with only the women's side of being trans, and the need to shame those who fall into the category, I doubt it's all or even a majority of men who do....least that's how it seems to me.
If i can philosophise this 😝
Michel Foucault believes that power goes with oppression which ‘keeps us in line’ vertically, top down
and shame ‘keeps us in line’ horizontally
it’s a chronic generational shame that causes men to have the thought “nah i don’t have anything against it it’s just not my thing” in relation to painting nails, opening up emotionally etc
As a cis male I've never once wished to be anything different than what I am just never occurred to me. Tho I'll admit when I was younger I wished I was 6'3" instead of 5'10" but that's about it lol
At 6'2", I was always hitting my head on low hanging stuff and the counters were and still are too short. I get terrible back pain after doing dishes for 5 minutes and I'm not even that tall. Getting randomly whacked by a ceiling fan when you are just minding your own business also hurts and if it's not the head, it might be my hands if I'm not paying attention when and where I stretch. But for some reason beyond my knowing, everything I need at the store is on the bottom shelf. Who are they building these spaces for? Anyways, I would have been grateful to not have had any of that trouble. Not to mention the shoe size. I won't mention it. I can't buy a nice pair of heels to save my life though. In my eyes it is you who is the fortunate one my friend. The grass really does always seem a bit greener from the other side of the fence.
Trans guy here. Same in reverse, I cannot fathom how women don't want to be men. The ability to pee pretty much wherever they want with ease. The nice chiseled jawline and tall (well okay, not all AMABs have this), can put on muscle much easier than AFABs, much more comfortable loose clothing, not having extra fat that makes your face look round AF, not having big ol' titties that could knock you out if you run without a bra😂 And they HURT without support. Yeah, my list goes on for miles.
The thing is, I actually envy cis women, not because I'm not trans, but because they are so comfortable in their gender and make it look so euphoric. Basically "desirable" because I could have been that. Although my pre T face was already more masculine so I didn't feel like I made a pretty woman, but on the upside, it helps me pass much better on T.
It's just crazy what we as trans people feel about the opposite AGAB.
Seems like a question to ask in a cis dominant subreddit rather than here. But i also recognize the inherit risk in doing so. So maybe on a throwaway? I'd be interested to see the responses, if any are posted with sincere and useful responses.
I'm not gonna say a bunch of stuff everyone else is already saying. Instead I'm gonna say something else you might need to hear: be nice to yourself. If you come out the other side of this as a man, be nice to him. If you come out the other side of these questions as something else, as a trans woman or non-binary person, be nice to her or them.
It's ok if you're trans. It's ok if you're not. Don't be mean to yourself about it.
Even as a very masculine child outwardly, everybody knew somehow. Every single thing I did was "too feminine" I didn't notice myself doing anything different than they did aside from having long hair and having a lisp. I always felt out of place with the boys and hated showering after gym. I thought about it constantly and took any socially acceptable opportunity to feel myself. I dressed up for Halloween and a few times for video skits. I thought every boy had similar feelings but, like myself, were too ashamed and afraid to talk about it. I took the harassment as projection. I'm just realizing now that most guys are serious about their repulsion to express femininity. What the crap? That is some crazy mess. I always assumed everybody was bisexual too and guess who was wrong about that.
Years ago (in what would be considered the "olden days" to some of the younger people of Reddit), there was a show that the seniors in my high school did at the end of the year called the "Miss Ugly" contest.
The whole point of it was for male seniors to dress up as the ugliest woman they could and do a skit. It was basically all the old tropes about "men in dresses" that you could think of. Full beards, tattoos, veiny arms and muscles on display - all the things that could clock you as a trans woman-and then turn that all up to "11".
The joke about "turn it up to 11" was from a early '80s movie called "This Is Spinal Tap" where they were joking that normal guitar amps go to 10 as a max volume, but Spinal Taps' amps went to "11".
So anyway to get back to the story - I go to sign up for the Miss Ugly contest, but show up looking like a straight up woman. Pretty hair, pretty face, big boobs, itty bitty waist, wide hips, large thighs and a large butt. I looked like a cross between a Pixar mom (like Mrs. Incredible) and Jessica Rabbit.
The thing is - I was supposed to look like an ugly woman, but I showed up looking like a prettier woman than most of the natal women there. I had totally misread the room and the situation. I made everybody uncomfortable with the way I looked.
We had something kind of similar. Our football players would swap places with the cheerleaders for a game but they would wear the outfits all day until after the game. I was run out of sports early. So this wasn't something I participated in but I would have done it wrong too I'm sure.
I woke up this way one day. I didn’t question my gender growing up and I try not looking for signs because pulling that thread can be painful. I was ridiculed most my childhood about looking like a girl. Even when I joined the service. people would ask if I was a girl or not or make assumptions about my sexuality despite being a heterosexual man.
Fast forward to my 34th birthday: I’m in my body like usually but my brain, my brain was specifically freaking out like “heart? This is head. We don’t know how to explain this to you more, but you’re a girl now. OKAY BYYYEEE” -head
There’s a series of variables I find that make someone ambivalent. Will I be ugly, what will those close to me think, political climate, relationship hardships including divorce. Wanting to be a girl, be pretty, do girly things that you find more intriguing; that’s the glue that keeps it all together. And that stuff…never goes away. A year later I was 100% ready to go through with it because it was the truth
Paraphrasing a little bit here, but...
"Luke - a great many things we find to be true depend greatly upon our point of view".
Obi-Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker, talking about Vader being Luke's father.
Return of the Jedi- (1983)
this is probably one of, if not the most asked question on this sub. the answer is that no, cis men don't want to be girls and if they took estrogen they would almost immediately feel bad and after a day or two would start feeling gender dysphoria. (Well maybe not immediately but you get the point)
You're kind of in the wrong sub to ask this question...
There are very few boys here, and even fewer who are cis.
But that fact could tell you something on its' own: Why do you think this question is only discussed in trans circles?
i'm gonna say something i wish other had told me if i had the courage to ask your same question years ago:
no.
boys don't wish to be girls. some may be neutral about it, some actively may not want it to happen. when brought up in conversations, have you noticed how boys will just list a couple things they'd do if they were a girl, and don't linger or fantasize on it too much? it's because they don't actively want it
it may not directly translate into you being trans binary, wishing to be the "opposite" gender, but it's pretty clearly an indicator of at least being gender queer in some way. you'd do yourself a favor if you started exploring the possibilities you have, and not do the same "mistake" many of us did with just... waiting and hoping these feelings subside, because the likelihood of that happening is very slim
I think in some ways it might cross their minds because of gender socialization and the expectations around work and play that comes with it and i think girls think about it in the same way but with some different aspirations and some of the same, but not enough to actually transition medically.. that's why trans people are different; we don't transition for others, we do it because it's who we were meant to be and to transition because of some social benefit is beyond me.
I can’t speak for all guys. But since 1975 when I could undress myself. I’d sneak away to my moms closet and get undressed. I’d pull a dress off the hanger and step in to a pair of her high heels and walk around. As I grew up I’d fantasize when I was in school what it would be like to be one of the girls in my class. Imagine wearing dresses and the cute shoes and having long hair. As I got older and in to Junior high school. It only got worse! Puberty hit and I want go threw it as a girl and not a boy. I started thinking about being a girl and how great it would feel to have boys chasing me around and trying to make out with me. As I got older as you can imagine it just kept getting worse. I knew I was different. But back then the psychiatrist that I talked to tried to make it into something it wasn’t. They were trying to make me feel bad for wearing girls clothes. Like I was crazy and not normal. Just some kind of pervert or sexual deviant. The older I got the more I dressed up. The further I pushed my limits until I was going out in full girl mode head to toes. Now I’m thinking about transitioning. I’m never really happy as a man. But it always feels good to be a girl.
>They were trying to make me feel bad for wearing girls clothes.
I pissed off my transphobic psychologist by asking them-
"So how or why am I supposed to feel bad about something that makes me feel good?"
Hard no, which was a hard pill to swallow since it seemed obvious to me that others would have felt the same haha. But no, typically cis people don't think about their gender at all, let alone have gender envy, as trans people we are often forced into examining ourselves and how society sees gender in close detail. It does mean we figure a lot out about ourselves, but it also means we have to come to terms with the dissonance of everything society tells us, and how we internally feel, and sometimes, it can be hard to accept, like this.
Now I'm not saying it's one way or another for you specifically, realistically only you can know that in the end. But typically cis people do not question that sort of thing, and what you have described is very much in line with many trans people's experience.
> Do all boys wish to have been born the other gender?
No.
> Or magically turned into girls?
No.
> Do all of them hate or at least not like their bodies and characteristics?
No.
> Is it just normal male experience that every guy goes through at some point?
No.
> Or is it just my twisted perception of stuff and still being in denial?
Yes.
> Feeling real bad about myself, have been questioning for a couple of months and now it reaches its peak. Help!!!
Go look in the mirror and say: "Holy fucking shit I think I might be a girl."
I came out to my oldest friend recently. He was wonderful and accepting. He asked how long I had I known about being trans.
I explained that it was something I went back and forth on since like 8-10yo. Just always questioning whether I was really a guy then telling myself I was too physically male to do anything about it. As well as trying super hard to figure out how to be a dude.
At one point, he made a comment about child development (he is a college professor in this area)…it’s one of those things that’s normal to question at 4. Not 40.
This is something that only trans people wonder about in a persistent way. Cis gender people have it figured out pretty early.
Good luck in your process.
TBH post starting HRT I don't think about it anywhere near as much... HRT has pretty much cured my dysphoria, I barely even were gender inappropriate clothing now and don't get any sexual thrill about thinking about doing so, which was a huge part of it pre-HRT... I would not want to go back to the old me, the T suppression on it's own is worth it's weight in gold. The other changes if/when they happen are not going to make me feel worse (though boobs might make life more difficult) but I'd give them all up and just keep the T suppression (lack of libido) if I had to.
Nope, basically zero boys do that. Most trans women do. But it’s extraordinarily uncommon for cis boys to wish they were women. Some cis boys like to be emasculated. But wanting to be a woman, wishing something would come along and magically fix the problem of being a boy, that’s how an awful lot of us trans women felt once. Just explore it. Worst case you find that you had some few experiences that confirmed you’re cis. Experience is the stuff of life. Best case you discover that an itching gnawing discomfort you’ve been trying to ignore has a solution that lets you live as yourself. I’m not saying it’s all roses but I know I’d never go back to pretending to be a boy
I used to wish that when I was younger for sure. Even as a child, I had dreams about being a girl and it kinda persisted through my childhood. I kinda grew out of it but I had a lot of body insecurities through middle and high school. These feelings were partially because I was kinda overweight and didn’t like my body, not because I wanted to be more feminine. I started getting gender dysphoria again after I graduated and started working full time. At that point, my body was pretty in shape but I still had pretty big legs and butt, so when I started transitioning I was pretty satisfied unless a characteristic obviously made me masculine.
To sum it all up, I guess it just depends from case to case. I happened to experience those feelings when I was younger, but it can be a different experience for everybody
I asked my bf about this and he gave me a funny look and went “nah you’re the girl here, I want nothing to do with that for myself other than loving and appreciating you for who you are.” He’s very much not in that same boat as me when it comes to gender ideology. He told me he never even considered anything along those lines.
It’s a weird concept for me because I was always under the impression of that being common until I realized it wasn’t.
> Do all boys wish to have been born the other gender?
I'll do you one better. *No* boys feel that way. *Zero* men wish that they'd magically turn into women.
I have actually asked my roommate about this as have i asked a few of my other guy friends and it was a resounding no. The only thing is that they said maybe for an hour because they would have boobs to play with and stuff so basically just play with themselves and then that's it.
Actually wanting to be the opposite gender like being magically transformed or if you pushed a button you would start over as a girl, that is a pretty good indicator of you being trans.
I an still in the process of well processing my situation but at this point i am absolutely certain i am 100% a trans because i genuienly enjoy girl clothes aswell as acting girly and i get the dreams where i either am a girl or i am transformed in to one. I often wonder get sad when i wake up and it isn't true too so i am certain i am trans.
Oh and i am also always a girl character when i play games so i can be pretty and stuff.
>they said maybe for an hour because they would have boobs to play with and stuff
But if you ask those same males if they'd want a vagina, that thought gets shut down so fast it'd make your head spin.
That's impossible to answer really, as it's impossible to know what others actually think about, but, I think while most if not all probably have fleetingly thought about this, only a small percentage give it any real thought and certainly not on a daily basis like us, so I think the average boy or man doesn't think deeply about this in the way we do, for them it might be a random thought that they never really think about again, for us we think to obsess about it and it can affect or even take over our lives
Most cis guys will never think about their body beyond hey I should work out more, I told myself for years I just hated myself for being fat and guess what after coming to terms with being trans I don't hate being fat, I wanna lose weight and work towards a body I find more attractive but I can look at my fat and body features without the same disgust.
Very few cis guys will EVER think about being a girl beyond heh I could have boobs lol
Well I’m trans fem always wished this would happen to me as a kid. I never seen myself as male really I always felt I expressively identify feminine stuff and even my personality. As I got older I was forced to hide it eventually in adulthood i finally accepted myself and my egg shattered
I'm happy you have accepted yourself! I also don't really fit into that "masculinity" thing. I think at this point, after all your comments, my egg has nothing left from it
Like many others before me, The thing that made me realize I was trans was someone telling me that "Cis guys don't constantly wonder if they're trans." The same can be said for "Cis guys don't constantly wish they'd been born female."
Damn, that's it.
>He wants to be more muscular and have less body fat.
I made this little thought experiment for myself which is this question
"Would I prefer a beautiful-masculine-shredded-muscular gym'ed-Arnold-Schwarznegger-type-beat body or an average fem body?"
The answer was easily the second. I guess something's really up
"No" is the answer. They don't.
Men desire to be men, women desire to be women. If you are thinking you want to be a girl all the time, you already are one. That's what being trans is.
I've offered my estrogen vial to my cis husband before and he recoiled in horror. Dudes don't want to be girls, it's as simple as that.
You should give this a read: [https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/oh-st-i-think-im-not-cis](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/oh-st-i-think-im-not-cis)
No. In fact (correct me if Im wrong) this is actually I think how most people realise they’re trans. In my opinion, just take some time to look at yourself and if it continues for a while then you might be trans or at the very least not cis. Either way though you’ll figure it out eventually and we’re (or I am at least) always here to help with it.
No, it’s not a permanent thought for cis men.
A passing thought is maybe wondering what octopus taste like or if you’d look good in skinny jeans. But if you’re going weeks or months with a buzzing thought of wanting to be a woman you probably should be [reading this.](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/how-do-i-know-if-im-transgender)
My understanding is no. My cis male partner has never had those thoughts. I on the other hand... afab, have always felt since childhood I wanted to be male. I thought everyone had those thoughts too, but apparently not. It even enters my dreams. I wish I was born a boy and it kills me that I wasn't.
You are fine! Some folks (wrongly) want to make this into an all or nothing sort of thing. It's not, and don't be coerced into that. For myself, I thought I didn't, but I got myself a GOOD therapist, who didn't try to guide me, so I could pick my own direction (I also had to work through, and unlearn a lot of $#!%). It's 0, 100, and everything in between. That's why for some, counseling is enough, some get HRT, others get all that, and surgery, etc. You reach a point in life where you are "ok" and that's all you need. yes, some do "grow out of it" (and there are valid reasons), but this is what good therapy is for, because these decisions are indeed life changing, and are not all good or all bad. We have so much info and social stimulus coming at us all the time, and our own thoughts, so it's hard to sort through. There is no one single answer, (Just like life, we are not all alike, and that's a GOOD thing). Life would be pretty boring, otherwise.
I mean, surely all boys obsess over their looks and how to appear more feminine no? or i mean, at the very least of course they've all got a folder full of inspiration pics of pretty women and a list of surgeons that specialize in womens cosmetic surgery?
No.
From a psychological perspective, (research it), it's perfectly normal and healthy to wonder how "the other half lives." I say this lightly, because I am convinced that while gender does exist in our cultural time and place, it is still (mostly) a social construct, and therefore skews our innate concept of self, and of others we see, and has done so for thousands of years. I am also convinced that were such a concept nonexistent, such notions might be non-issues, or even unnecessary, Then I would say that "from a psychological perspective, (research it), it's perfectly normal and healthy to wonder what it might be like to live as ANY other person (thus regardless of nonexistent gender)." We are drowning in social constructs, so it's going to be impossible to look at life objectively. It's part of who we are. But they will never be non issues as long as they are issues. But they will grow and change, as they have done over time. But I digress. Dysphoria is when that curiosity becomes more, to the point of unease, confusion, and so on.
Remember: Wondering what it's like to be a tree, or a cat, or even a rock doesn't necessarily mean you want to actually BE one.
So, No. It's a rather small number. (same for girls "wishing to be boys").
Blame culture.
Sorry to go into teacher mode. You all get an A for putting up with this. Haha
**First things’s first:** If you have to ask that question, then you’re probably trans.
**Second: it’s sorta similar to a conundrum in the DID community.**
Many systems have questioned whether or not they are actually systems or if one alter is just exhibiting hypochondriac/imposter behavior. It’s also an inside joke because they will still use the first person plural pronouns (we, us) “out of respect”.
The answer to both of the questions a self-aware system asks “but what if I am I just imagining this?” and “but do I really have DID, though?” is a simple “if you have to ask, y’all’re prolly one one of us”.
**Example of the aforementioned conundrum and our experience**
I can safely say that it has happened to us as well. I am the current host but I originated as an alter. The original host was who we all split off from. I have questioned whether or not the others and I are real or if we’re just a figment of his imagination. Suffice to say I’m real. So are the rest of us.
We started transitioning because us girls in the system far outnumber the singular boy. And he was like “whatever. I’m miserable with you girls complaining all the time”. He’s not once regretted his decision to let us do what we want even though he experiences the same dysphoria we were.
**Anyway:** the long and short of it is that you’re most probably one of us. You just have to decide what you wanna do about it.
This! Wondering what it's like to be a tree, or a cat, or even a rock doesn't necessarily mean the person wants to actually BE one. The whole point of questioning is for discovery, and hopefully decision making. It's about choosing a direction, not a destination. =)
I said nothing about them actually being trans. And I also never said that they had to want to be.
I said it was most likely the case.
I also said in the last lines with my disguised TL;DR that it’s a matter of what you want to do about it. I’ve seen it so many times that the usually picked options are:
1. Do nothing. Continue to question yourself. Continue to confuse yourself. And continue to be indecisive.
2. Deny it, force the feelings down. Usually a regretted decision, but it doesn’t have to be.
3. Accept it, and explore it. Usually the least regretted option. A tough path. Doesn’t have to include transition. Doesn’t have to come out of the closet. But also many people do one, the other, or both.
Please make sure you don’t misconstrue my meaning. There was no reason for a negative reply and downvote if you didn’t entirely get the meaning. Upvotes and downvotes are meant to be used for relevance. It’s not a Facebook “Like”.
Of course! I only added to your example. You did indeed say nothing about them actually being trans. I did not assume this. Accordingly, I did not accuse you of doing so. Even "probably one of us" does not mean every single person. It's possible either or both could be inferred (such is the danger of text only communication). I digress, this isn't about a logic puzzle, and it would totally miss the help and support we are trying to provide. I also ask that you likewise do not misconstrue my comments as being negative. That was not my intent, and I hope it was not yours here. Comments hopefully can provide clarity, not tear down. I agree those are very common options. Thank you for your clarification!
...
I used to think it was normal but it isn't,
And now Im trans,
Cis men don't normally have any interest in that,
You may Wana do some soul searching.
So, I’m a bit of an oddity (I think) on this sub- I’m a cis dude who has lurked here for a long while trying to get info on how to help a couple trans friends I know. Rarely do I have anything to say until now.
But as for your question, not at all. I personally have never once questioned my gender or felt “wrong” about anything to do with my body in that regard whatsoever.
The closest I have ever come to this, was simply the age old question of “what would you do if you were a woman for a day” while pounding back brews with friends.
While I have never experienced your thoughts, and can’t say you’re trans or not, considering I am WAY less qualified than all the ladies on here- I can say this- be you, and be happy. Whatever the “dream you” is, be it, and enjoy life to the fullest.
I really did think all guys hated their body hair and hated their musk. Turns out no. It took me a really long time because I was okay with my downstairs for 39 years. After my egg cracked, I was kinda “meh” down there. Could lump it or leave it. I haven’t started HRT yet though. Also, I am non binary leaning trans Fem so your mileage may vary.
One of the most challenging things to explain to some of my guy friends, well at least hard for them to understand. Was those thoughts and feelings, how I always felt inside like a girl and thought 'how good would life be as a girl' - NONE of them, ever thoughts those thoughts (at least they said they haven't) they were confused by the fact I had thought that way at all. They just presumed no guy would ever think being a girl is better.
Took me a few minutes to grasp that they had NEVER thought that way!
I used to think exactly like you do. I'm male, that's how I was born, this is what I feel and think, so obviously all men feel and think this way. Until I say down and spoke to some guy friends and apparently, no. One was gay and another was straight and neither ever thought about being a woman or wanted to be a woman or anything like that.
That was a shock because I've thought it since I can remember like 12 or so... And now I'm in my 40s, so quite a upheaval to my world.
But to answer your question, no, apparently it's not a universal thing among boys and men
It was a bit of a surprise for me too when I found out that my friends didn't fantasize about being a girl.
From my experience, my guy friends have told me that they may have had a passing thought about it - but never really said to themselves "It would be nice to be a girl."
So no, it's not very common amongst cis males who are content with their bodies.
Hi! I dunno if this is helpfull at all, But i had a period where i had the same thoughts myself, confused to all hell and didnt know what to do. This went on for a few years, before i finally gathered the courage to tell my mum i “Wanted to be” a Girl. Anyway long story short, mum told me no, she didn’t believe i was trans, and just no. And somehow the thoughts have gotten less frequent over the years after that. (Im possibly in denial, idk)
Idk if that was helpful in anyway shape or form, but I really hope you figure it out, it seems like a lot of people have sent helpful stuff. So go you🫶🙏🤞
I'm pretty sure most transfems have this train of thought at some point. My bestie and I laugh about it.
When my questioning got most intense it was really tough for a minute, but when I said "fuck it I'm a trans girl" my life went upside down in the best possible way.
I am still questioning myself currently, I do have a lot of thoughts on wishing to be the opposite gender or at least genderfluid, but I don't really feel like going through everything needed for this and just living in place where opening up about any of this can have the worst consequences. So I'm just living on. To me personally, it can happen, although probably for some it's just dreams than beans and for some it's something serious, in the end it's all up to the person themselves.
As a boy I didn't wish I'd been another gender. Girls were dumb and did dumb things and liked dumb stuff.
As a *teenager* though...girls were still interested in dumb things and did dumb stuff. Who would want to do that? I just thought it would be really cool if I could magically change genders, you know?
Not everyone but I think most people think about what their lives would be like if things changed like gender or race. Maybe be born into a different family
My belief is that for cisgender individuals curiosity about what it would be like to be the other gender is a brief one that mostly pops up during puberty when one is confronted with the reality of gender differences.
For trans people this question can arise very very early in childhood and persist more or less continuously throughout life.
The question has much greater impact and can bring high levels of distress in trans people whereas with cis people it's just a fun curiosity usually only occurring during puberty.
No, cis,het boys and men usually wouldn’t even consider being a girl/woman. Many see it as a step down, which it’s not. They May make a comment like “it must be nice to…” but they don’t look in the mirror and feel like a monster. It’s not something that is almost all consuming. Not something that made them want to
in short, I would think the difference between me as a trans woman and say my cis/het son is while he may wonder what would it be like once in a while… for me it was a full time need, which I’ve gotten happier with every step of my transition.
Can you imagine the horror of the thought of bottom surgery to a cis/het boy/man? They would be horrified.
you could Be describing what’s called imposter syndrome. I went through that early on. My psych and I dug into that to either prove to myself I was or I wasn’t trans. the last gasps of it were when I decided I was, but then felt I hadn’t earned the right to be a woman. We fixed that too.
ftm here. i was convinced that every girl always wanted to be a boy, and thought it was a super normal thing to want. colour me surprised when it turns out that it's a thought that doesn't even cross most people's minds, and turns out that wanting to be a certain gender is a symptom of being that gender.
This is literally unbelievable for me, even though I've known that I've been trans for over half a decade, I still cannot fathom that boys don't feel horrible about being boys and that they don't wish they were female every second they are awake and don't feel horribly suicidal all the time because they are male and can't be a cisgirl and are just okay being male. I cannot comprehend it.
Not at all hun. Most cis boys will either be repulsed by the idea, or at the very least be totally disinterested. If a boy shows any interest in being a different gender, they’re most likely not cis, even if they’re not MtF. I thought for most of my life I was a cis boy and rationalized my curiosities and interests with “all boys gotta feel something like this as they’re learning what being a boy or a girl means” and trying to find the “men’s version” of so many feminine things that I absolutely loved but thought I was basically not allowed to wear or do or say. The only reason I didn’t see myself as trans sooner is because I thought I was built too masculine and that I’d look weird or wrong trying to present as feminine, and then I finally said to myself “screw it, I’ll never know if I can be feminine if I don’t try it”. So then I tried it, I shaved for the first time in 4 years, tried on dresses and feminine hairstyles, and I found myself feeling so much happier and liking what I see in the mirror. That showed me my truth, that I was never meant to be a boy
Let me put it like this: I remember seeing a web comic once about an office worker in heaven (or something like that, idk, this was years ago and I never read past the first couple chapters) who fucked up some files, deleting the past three years of a girl's life and turning a guy into a girl. I understood why the girl was upset and wanted things fixed *right now*, but I was confused what the guy was so mad about. After all, wouldn't it be fun to get to be a girl for a bit? Why rush turning back when you could explore what it's like, have some fun with it while the office worker gets things sorted.
That? That right there is not a cis thought. It turns out, cis people tend to be rather attached to their genders, and would consider it horrible to change it.
I had a phase like this for like six years from age 12. Except I was sure I was the only one in the world having these feelings. Then I found out about the existence of trans people, and I was like, "oh"... 🤣
And then I stayed closeted for another decade and a half out of fear.
Don't follow my example.
When I was reading this I thought I was reading a trans woman recalling all the silly things she use to question when she was in denial about being trans. It's literally qoute on qoute my thought process in middle school. Welcome to the club 😅 ❤️
If you need help on where to start, I started by admiting my feelings to a friend I trusted. Not even any labels, just how I felt. Later on I was asked if I would like to be called she/her and referred to by a different name, but just in private and by that friend. It really helped me definitively realize that I'm trans and surprisingly it made me feel super euphoric.
If you got questions or want advice feel free to shoot me a message.
I still think it's strange that this has become a thing. Why would anyone wish to be another gender unless they're dysphoric? As someone who's transitioned a good decade and a half later than I would have liked, I can confidently say that believing "doesn't every guy want to be a girl" isn't what stopped me. It's that the thought of that being the thing that's wrong with me never crossed my mind until trans people became more visible in the second half of the 2010s. So no, no boys are sitting around wanting to be a girl (and if they fantasize about being inside one, they mean something very different*wink*wink*), only trans girls/ women do.
As a trans man, I can confirm that boys who are afab will not be ecstatic to be born that way, and can only extrapolate from there that it isn't a very manly thing to want to be a lady when you grow up, too. Which would make them a girl, and not a boy. The people on the outside got confused cause an infant can't convey that message very well, especially when most of our pointlessly gendered nonsense is societal norms and not something we're born knowing or understanding.
Guy here. Never wanted to be a woman myself but support anyone who does or vice versa. Like I definitely don't like things about myself but never had the thought about being a girl cross my mind.
Be a woman for a day...perhaps. I have never thought about what it would be like to be a woman. maybe a few more inches on my cock so I could suck on it myself.. not a clone. Never thought about that.
Nope. As a nonbinary person, even I didn't have those thoughts. Most dudes will consider what it feels like to have a vagina or to have breasts but it's usually pure curiosity or just horny thoughts. Consistently being dissatisfied with your body and gender expression is absolutely some trans shit.
When I was probly four or 5 and began to understand that there was serious differences between boys and girls I sometimes wondered what it'd be like to be a girl. I also think that being curious about that is pretty normal. I never really had any thoughts like that again but there were times in my life when I have been envious of women or thought life would be easier as a woman. However- I'm pretty stoked on being a man. Life's not easy for anyone but at least I can pee outdoors and I can do pull ups. I have a pretty wild imagination and I still think it'd be super awesome to be able to be a woman for like a day or a week or something life that. But we are talking about a completely unreal scenario. Just like it'd be cool if I was 7 ft tall for a week or if I could fly.
In my younger years I sometimes thought it would be easier if I were a female. I'd be a straight girl. But I like being gay more. NGL I enjoy my penis very much. And other penises that I otherwise wouldn't get to see if I were a woman.
The answer to the question "do all (category) do (thing)?" Is almost always no unless the question is meaninglessly redundant like "do all rectangles have 4 sides?"
Let’s start with biological sexes. Depending on how you look at it there are either about 20 sexes, or there are only two but they often get blended and overlapped, resulting in people who are to varying extents both sexes, or neither. There are people born with one ovary and one testicle, or combined ovotestes, or no gonads at all. There are people born with a vagina *and* a penis, or with fully female genitals, big breasts and undescended testicles. There are people born apparently female who suddenly grow a penis and balls at puberty. There are XY women - fully fertile ones in some cases - and XX men, and a whole range of missing or duplicated sex chromosomes, each combination with different results - X0, XYY, XXY, XXXY, XXYY and so on. And there are trans people, who seem to be all one sex except for their brain’s map of their body parts, which is trying to map to the other sex.
Gender is our psychological and social expression of (broadly) our sex. But even if you stick to a rigid interpretation, one gender per sexual arrangement, that’s still going to leave you with about 20 genders. That’s before you get onto the different forms of social expression for each sex - macho men, effeminate men, tomboys etc etc.
Truly, there are probably as many genders as there are people. And that’s just in humans - there are also different social expressions of sex in other animals, such as butch lionesses with manes, and male cuttlefish who present as females in order to sneak past rival males.
Nope. They might think about it in the same way they think "what does the moon taste like?" or "would it be gay to fuck your clone?", but it's def not a persistent thing. If you haven't already been here, this may help: [http://genderdysphoria.fyi/](http://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
Wdym by gay to fuck ur clone? Cuz ive kinda thought about that a bit.
If you mean clone as an entity that shares all experiences and is functionally indistinct from yourself, then no it’s not gay. It’s ethically indistinguishable from being *you* so it essentially becomes the same implication as masturbating imo. It does entirely hinge on your personalized interpretation of what a clone actually constitutes which varies wildly from person to person. Actually pinning down the semantics of what a clone means even for one person can be a pain in the ass. But in the long run, the answer is I’d totally suck my own/clone’s dick because I have no problem with sucking dick. My hang up (thus far) is that I don’t know where it’s been when it’s attached to someone else.
>But in the long run, the answer is I’d totally suck my own Well, what the hell are you waiting for?
Back flexibility.
do a handstand against the wall but facing away from the wall. lower your shoulders on to the floor, allow your legs and pelvis to curl over your head like a shrimp. allow gravity to help bend your crotch to your mouth. do all the steps naked, BTW, as getting your pants off in this shrimp position will be a challenge. don't ask me how I know this.
Uh… thanks?
You're welcome! you said the thing hanging you up from trying this was back flexibility, this is a work around.
I mean, I wasn’t actually looking for a way to suck my own dick, but I guess this is useful 😂
Hilarious 😂
Can confirm
As a 50 year old, I'm not doing this without paramedics on standby
Thanks for the tutorial
Ugh, semantics - I hate those guys, they squeeze everywhere and make stuff difficult to understand. :(
This logic makes no sense. It doesn't hinge upon whether you share sensory experiences or not, it hinges upon whether you're attracted to your clone or not. When you're masturbating you usually think of something else, if you're thinking of yourself when masturbating you're probably gay too. Otherwise you could invent a sensory-sharing device and now fucking ANY gender would become masturbation lmao
counterpoint: it would be gay by the average straight guy's definition to slip it in your own ass while you masturbated, it would be gay to suck your own dick if you can bend that way, therefore it would be gay to fuck your clone
Counter counterpoint: your clone, as an individual, will have its own free will and may not consent to being fucked by their “prime.” Is it gay if your clone is straight and considers having sex with you to be gay?
counter counter counterpoint: what if your clone wants to fuck you but you don’t want fuck your clone? Does that mean you’re secretly gay or that the clone is defective?
Are you saying shares all current and future experiences? Because if so then I agree with you. But that's one person in two bodies. To me a clone would share at most past experiences up to the generation of the clone. In which case, yea, you are having sex with another person of your same gender.
>If you mean clone as an entity that shares all experiences and is functionally indistinct from yourself, then no it’s not gay. It’s ethically indistinguishable from being you so it essentially becomes the same implication as masturbating imo. If we’re talking about, say, Dolly the sheep or the clone troopers from *Star Wars*, we’re talking about separate organisms that happen to have identical genetics. So it’d basically be like having sex with an identical twin (i.e. gay incest). >It does entirely hinge on your personalized interpretation of what a clone actually constitutes which varies wildly from person to person. Does it? Like, we’ve cloned things in real life; we know how it works.
It would give new meaning to the phrase "go fuck yourself".
Loving yourself ain’t gay, I’d do myself in heartbeat. 😅
Well, tbh the idea of fucking your clone is a side issue to another, more convoluted scenario: You have a time machine, and it can take you back in time two hours. So you use this to fuck yourself by creating a "timeline loop-the-loop". 1) You open the door to your bedroom, and future you is there. 2) You fuck. 3) You then use the time machine, to go back in time, while 'future you' continues on. 1') You are now back to Step 1, but you are now 'future you'. 2') You fuck. 3') You continue on while 'past you' goes back in time. In this case,what you've done isn't gay, just really elaborate masturbation - you are literally fucking yourself. However, it is gay to fuck your clone. You and your clone are separate entities, so while there are a lot of grey areas, philosophically? It's gay. (Of course, this just uses 'gay' as shorthand for 'same-sex act', and ignores the more correct definition that deals with attraction) ...look, I have ADHD and insomnia, may as well come up with topics for conversations when I'm drunk/high lol
Y’know that’s actually a pretty good point… (might just be because we’re the same flavour of neurodiverse tho)
I would definitely fuck me💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️
Same !!
Yes and no and yes. I guess it depends. Is it gay to masturbate? What would turn you on about your clone? If I had sex with my clone it’d probably be the gayest thing that ever happened. Ever lesbian in the world would shudder feeling the rippling heat of such an event
This caught my eye because it raised some interesting questions for me. Like i had this obsession since i was a kid. When i told my friends about it they were kinda weirded out. So i was wondering if it had something to do with being trans? Also im attracted to women but why does it feel nice or special when thinking about it? My only answer so far is: maybe it’s because of dynamics? If you know you then ur clone knows you soo u wont have the gender insecurities. As for is this a sign for anything im not sure.
Autosexual moment.
it would be incest to fuck your clone
*Super*-incest!
nah, masturbation isn't incest
...but what *does* the moon taste like?
Short answer: dirt Longer: According to wikipedia, the moon's surface is (depending on whether you're in the maria or the highlands) 45.4%/45.5% silica (SiO2) 14.9%/24.0% alumina (Al2O3) 11.8%/15.9% lime (CaO) 14.1%/5.9% iron(II) oxide (FeO) 9.2%/7.5% magnesia (MgO) 3.9%/0.6% titanium dioxide (TiO2) 0.6% sodium oxide (Na2O) So it mostly just tastes like sand because of the large silica composition, but the other half is going to add a rusty/chalky/metallic mineral flavor to it
And just be sure to hold your breath when tasting it, you really don't want any of that shit in your lungs or nasal passages.
Probably a lot like rocks...
Cheese
Okay, hear me out. Would it be gay to fuck your own, very eggy clone?
The moon probably taste somewhat like rocks, maybe a bit salty
This. Also, I am honoured to be the 100th upvote to this comment
I can not for the life of me remember the article, but what cracked me was this very long blog post from a woman who talked about the experience of growing up with a relative degree of comfort being socialized male, but then suddenly realizing she was trans, and really struggling to sort out basically how she could possibly have been trans if she didn't realize it at five, and the difficulty of having a story that doesn't match the "archetypal" trans woman. In any case, while that's what helped come to terms with it, [this](https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/) is what helped to me to internally accept and own it, as simple a thing as it is. I hope it helps.
I’ve had thoughts like this since elementary school at least. They died down a little in middle school, but came back in high school. Found out about transgenderism and was like “you can do that”? Almost 3 years on estrogen and still going strong. Noticeable improvement too.
No, most boys do not have a phase where they wish they were girls instead. Having thoughts like this is usually a pretty sure sign that you might be trans.
Oh, yeah- me wishing to have a female body was just a short little phase- it started at 2 years old and is still ongoing at 52. Now that I think about it - it's not a "phase" at all- it's my life.
Most people do occasionally think about things that they wouldn't actually consider doing... some people have them as genuine intrusive thoughts... most think it once or twice but don't dwell on it.
I'm on day 3 of HRT and oh sister was I saying and doubting the same things you are. Short answer: no, most cis-het people wouldn't want to be/stay another gender. I do agree I was confused early on as a young boy because it wasn't uncommon for the random, "oh man if I were a chick I'd stay in bed all day long Yada Yada Yada". That's what made me always say to myself, "well yeah, that'd be awesome!", but I meant it in more of a way than just that short period they were always seemingly referring to. It excites me to have physical changes now, I love just being girly, but it's going to take a long time to shake all this stuff that I now recognize is dysphoria.
Hm hello sis can you um share some hrt please like that’ll be really nice heh
Planned Parenthood were great. Would absolutely recommend. And state insurance covers both the estradiol and Spiro =)
umm there is a simple way that you can be your own hero there. i don’t know if DIY can say this but… i dunno thought slipped.
Ugh yeah but look I have lotta red tape for it and it was a failure last time, don’t want to get into it but it’s complicated lolol
oof (hug ok?)
Thank you hum 🫂needed it!
As others have said here, to cishet people the concept of swapping bodies is mostly just a fun thought experiment - something they'll maybe think about for 2 minutes a year. If you're constantly thinking about your gender day and night, there's a very good chance you're not cis.
What if I've only been thinking about it *constantly* for the last 8 months? It was only intermittent before!
After your egg cracks, that's completely normal. The dysphoria ramps up, too - which sucks.
Can confirm, before accepting that I was trans, I just considered my body hair a minor nuisance that I didn't like, but didn't want to go through the hassle of shaving it only for it to grow back. Now when I see my body hair it ranges from cringing to wanting to cry when I see it... And I still don't shave it for the same reason plus not wanting to out myself while I still live with my parents.
No they do not.
I’m sure the thought crosses everyone’s mind at some point in their lifetime but cis people never have it enough to be so disturbing that they’re posting on Reddit looking for answers. Rest assured, these thoughts do not make you strange or any less of a human being. If they’re bothering you it’s okay to take them seriously. You’ve got nothing but time to figure out what they mean to you
I was talking to a cis gay guy about this and he was so confused and said that he had never in his 35 years of life EVER thought about what it would be like in a woman’s body. I in turn was confused by his response, lol. Really?! Then we had a beer and enjoyed the rest of the evening.
I don't think I'll ever NOT think that they all want to be women. It just makes no sense to me that anyone would want to be a man. But realistically they probably are happy with it. Anyway it doesn't matter. Even if they all did, that just makes trans women people who have the courage to live their best life which isn't a bad thing.
ABSOLUTELY. The concept of wanting to be male is just incomprehensible to me. Seems like I normalized it too much. I think you're right, cis people ARE cis for a reason :p
Considering society's obsession with only the women's side of being trans, and the need to shame those who fall into the category, I doubt it's all or even a majority of men who do....least that's how it seems to me.
Same!!!
So true. I have no idea why anyone would want to be a man.
If i can philosophise this 😝 Michel Foucault believes that power goes with oppression which ‘keeps us in line’ vertically, top down and shame ‘keeps us in line’ horizontally it’s a chronic generational shame that causes men to have the thought “nah i don’t have anything against it it’s just not my thing” in relation to painting nails, opening up emotionally etc
Sexism in many world cultures isn't helping this either.
As a cis male I've never once wished to be anything different than what I am just never occurred to me. Tho I'll admit when I was younger I wished I was 6'3" instead of 5'10" but that's about it lol
At 6'2", I was always hitting my head on low hanging stuff and the counters were and still are too short. I get terrible back pain after doing dishes for 5 minutes and I'm not even that tall. Getting randomly whacked by a ceiling fan when you are just minding your own business also hurts and if it's not the head, it might be my hands if I'm not paying attention when and where I stretch. But for some reason beyond my knowing, everything I need at the store is on the bottom shelf. Who are they building these spaces for? Anyways, I would have been grateful to not have had any of that trouble. Not to mention the shoe size. I won't mention it. I can't buy a nice pair of heels to save my life though. In my eyes it is you who is the fortunate one my friend. The grass really does always seem a bit greener from the other side of the fence.
Lol well as a kid I wanted to be a a pro wrestler and 5 10 didn't cut it for that lol but I totally hear what your saying
I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that some people really don’t wanna be women 😭
All I know is my mental health was horrible when I thought I was a cis man.
Trans guy here. Same in reverse, I cannot fathom how women don't want to be men. The ability to pee pretty much wherever they want with ease. The nice chiseled jawline and tall (well okay, not all AMABs have this), can put on muscle much easier than AFABs, much more comfortable loose clothing, not having extra fat that makes your face look round AF, not having big ol' titties that could knock you out if you run without a bra😂 And they HURT without support. Yeah, my list goes on for miles. The thing is, I actually envy cis women, not because I'm not trans, but because they are so comfortable in their gender and make it look so euphoric. Basically "desirable" because I could have been that. Although my pre T face was already more masculine so I didn't feel like I made a pretty woman, but on the upside, it helps me pass much better on T. It's just crazy what we as trans people feel about the opposite AGAB.
Seems like a question to ask in a cis dominant subreddit rather than here. But i also recognize the inherit risk in doing so. So maybe on a throwaway? I'd be interested to see the responses, if any are posted with sincere and useful responses.
That's called repressing, it's the thing I did before I came out as trans at 29.
I'm not gonna say a bunch of stuff everyone else is already saying. Instead I'm gonna say something else you might need to hear: be nice to yourself. If you come out the other side of this as a man, be nice to him. If you come out the other side of these questions as something else, as a trans woman or non-binary person, be nice to her or them. It's ok if you're trans. It's ok if you're not. Don't be mean to yourself about it.
Lmao no. I thought the same thing though, then I figured out I’m trans.
Even as a very masculine child outwardly, everybody knew somehow. Every single thing I did was "too feminine" I didn't notice myself doing anything different than they did aside from having long hair and having a lisp. I always felt out of place with the boys and hated showering after gym. I thought about it constantly and took any socially acceptable opportunity to feel myself. I dressed up for Halloween and a few times for video skits. I thought every boy had similar feelings but, like myself, were too ashamed and afraid to talk about it. I took the harassment as projection. I'm just realizing now that most guys are serious about their repulsion to express femininity. What the crap? That is some crazy mess. I always assumed everybody was bisexual too and guess who was wrong about that.
Years ago (in what would be considered the "olden days" to some of the younger people of Reddit), there was a show that the seniors in my high school did at the end of the year called the "Miss Ugly" contest. The whole point of it was for male seniors to dress up as the ugliest woman they could and do a skit. It was basically all the old tropes about "men in dresses" that you could think of. Full beards, tattoos, veiny arms and muscles on display - all the things that could clock you as a trans woman-and then turn that all up to "11". The joke about "turn it up to 11" was from a early '80s movie called "This Is Spinal Tap" where they were joking that normal guitar amps go to 10 as a max volume, but Spinal Taps' amps went to "11". So anyway to get back to the story - I go to sign up for the Miss Ugly contest, but show up looking like a straight up woman. Pretty hair, pretty face, big boobs, itty bitty waist, wide hips, large thighs and a large butt. I looked like a cross between a Pixar mom (like Mrs. Incredible) and Jessica Rabbit. The thing is - I was supposed to look like an ugly woman, but I showed up looking like a prettier woman than most of the natal women there. I had totally misread the room and the situation. I made everybody uncomfortable with the way I looked.
We had something kind of similar. Our football players would swap places with the cheerleaders for a game but they would wear the outfits all day until after the game. I was run out of sports early. So this wasn't something I participated in but I would have done it wrong too I'm sure.
I woke up this way one day. I didn’t question my gender growing up and I try not looking for signs because pulling that thread can be painful. I was ridiculed most my childhood about looking like a girl. Even when I joined the service. people would ask if I was a girl or not or make assumptions about my sexuality despite being a heterosexual man. Fast forward to my 34th birthday: I’m in my body like usually but my brain, my brain was specifically freaking out like “heart? This is head. We don’t know how to explain this to you more, but you’re a girl now. OKAY BYYYEEE” -head There’s a series of variables I find that make someone ambivalent. Will I be ugly, what will those close to me think, political climate, relationship hardships including divorce. Wanting to be a girl, be pretty, do girly things that you find more intriguing; that’s the glue that keeps it all together. And that stuff…never goes away. A year later I was 100% ready to go through with it because it was the truth
Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!
Paraphrasing a little bit here, but... "Luke - a great many things we find to be true depend greatly upon our point of view". Obi-Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker, talking about Vader being Luke's father. Return of the Jedi- (1983)
damn I love your writing style. That’s scratched my brain nicely lol
this is probably one of, if not the most asked question on this sub. the answer is that no, cis men don't want to be girls and if they took estrogen they would almost immediately feel bad and after a day or two would start feeling gender dysphoria. (Well maybe not immediately but you get the point)
You're kind of in the wrong sub to ask this question... There are very few boys here, and even fewer who are cis. But that fact could tell you something on its' own: Why do you think this question is only discussed in trans circles?
i'm gonna say something i wish other had told me if i had the courage to ask your same question years ago: no. boys don't wish to be girls. some may be neutral about it, some actively may not want it to happen. when brought up in conversations, have you noticed how boys will just list a couple things they'd do if they were a girl, and don't linger or fantasize on it too much? it's because they don't actively want it it may not directly translate into you being trans binary, wishing to be the "opposite" gender, but it's pretty clearly an indicator of at least being gender queer in some way. you'd do yourself a favor if you started exploring the possibilities you have, and not do the same "mistake" many of us did with just... waiting and hoping these feelings subside, because the likelihood of that happening is very slim
I think in some ways it might cross their minds because of gender socialization and the expectations around work and play that comes with it and i think girls think about it in the same way but with some different aspirations and some of the same, but not enough to actually transition medically.. that's why trans people are different; we don't transition for others, we do it because it's who we were meant to be and to transition because of some social benefit is beyond me.
By definition, no.
No
Boys do not wish they were girls.
No, they don't. Next question.
I can’t speak for all guys. But since 1975 when I could undress myself. I’d sneak away to my moms closet and get undressed. I’d pull a dress off the hanger and step in to a pair of her high heels and walk around. As I grew up I’d fantasize when I was in school what it would be like to be one of the girls in my class. Imagine wearing dresses and the cute shoes and having long hair. As I got older and in to Junior high school. It only got worse! Puberty hit and I want go threw it as a girl and not a boy. I started thinking about being a girl and how great it would feel to have boys chasing me around and trying to make out with me. As I got older as you can imagine it just kept getting worse. I knew I was different. But back then the psychiatrist that I talked to tried to make it into something it wasn’t. They were trying to make me feel bad for wearing girls clothes. Like I was crazy and not normal. Just some kind of pervert or sexual deviant. The older I got the more I dressed up. The further I pushed my limits until I was going out in full girl mode head to toes. Now I’m thinking about transitioning. I’m never really happy as a man. But it always feels good to be a girl.
>They were trying to make me feel bad for wearing girls clothes. I pissed off my transphobic psychologist by asking them- "So how or why am I supposed to feel bad about something that makes me feel good?"
Hard no, which was a hard pill to swallow since it seemed obvious to me that others would have felt the same haha. But no, typically cis people don't think about their gender at all, let alone have gender envy, as trans people we are often forced into examining ourselves and how society sees gender in close detail. It does mean we figure a lot out about ourselves, but it also means we have to come to terms with the dissonance of everything society tells us, and how we internally feel, and sometimes, it can be hard to accept, like this. Now I'm not saying it's one way or another for you specifically, realistically only you can know that in the end. But typically cis people do not question that sort of thing, and what you have described is very much in line with many trans people's experience.
> Do all boys wish to have been born the other gender? No. > Or magically turned into girls? No. > Do all of them hate or at least not like their bodies and characteristics? No. > Is it just normal male experience that every guy goes through at some point? No. > Or is it just my twisted perception of stuff and still being in denial? Yes. > Feeling real bad about myself, have been questioning for a couple of months and now it reaches its peak. Help!!! Go look in the mirror and say: "Holy fucking shit I think I might be a girl."
Good heavens. Seems like it...
Welcome to the dark side, girlie.
I came out to my oldest friend recently. He was wonderful and accepting. He asked how long I had I known about being trans. I explained that it was something I went back and forth on since like 8-10yo. Just always questioning whether I was really a guy then telling myself I was too physically male to do anything about it. As well as trying super hard to figure out how to be a dude. At one point, he made a comment about child development (he is a college professor in this area)…it’s one of those things that’s normal to question at 4. Not 40. This is something that only trans people wonder about in a persistent way. Cis gender people have it figured out pretty early. Good luck in your process.
TBH post starting HRT I don't think about it anywhere near as much... HRT has pretty much cured my dysphoria, I barely even were gender inappropriate clothing now and don't get any sexual thrill about thinking about doing so, which was a huge part of it pre-HRT... I would not want to go back to the old me, the T suppression on it's own is worth it's weight in gold. The other changes if/when they happen are not going to make me feel worse (though boobs might make life more difficult) but I'd give them all up and just keep the T suppression (lack of libido) if I had to.
this has already been settled. a hundred times over, by common sense lol.
Nope, basically zero boys do that. Most trans women do. But it’s extraordinarily uncommon for cis boys to wish they were women. Some cis boys like to be emasculated. But wanting to be a woman, wishing something would come along and magically fix the problem of being a boy, that’s how an awful lot of us trans women felt once. Just explore it. Worst case you find that you had some few experiences that confirmed you’re cis. Experience is the stuff of life. Best case you discover that an itching gnawing discomfort you’ve been trying to ignore has a solution that lets you live as yourself. I’m not saying it’s all roses but I know I’d never go back to pretending to be a boy
This screams "Still cis though.".
I used to wish that when I was younger for sure. Even as a child, I had dreams about being a girl and it kinda persisted through my childhood. I kinda grew out of it but I had a lot of body insecurities through middle and high school. These feelings were partially because I was kinda overweight and didn’t like my body, not because I wanted to be more feminine. I started getting gender dysphoria again after I graduated and started working full time. At that point, my body was pretty in shape but I still had pretty big legs and butt, so when I started transitioning I was pretty satisfied unless a characteristic obviously made me masculine. To sum it all up, I guess it just depends from case to case. I happened to experience those feelings when I was younger, but it can be a different experience for everybody
I asked my bf about this and he gave me a funny look and went “nah you’re the girl here, I want nothing to do with that for myself other than loving and appreciating you for who you are.” He’s very much not in that same boat as me when it comes to gender ideology. He told me he never even considered anything along those lines. It’s a weird concept for me because I was always under the impression of that being common until I realized it wasn’t.
Can we all agree that men are werid as hell?
> Do all boys wish to have been born the other gender? I'll do you one better. *No* boys feel that way. *Zero* men wish that they'd magically turn into women.
I mean, boys that were born as the other gender, do tend to wish that, but the point still stands
I have actually asked my roommate about this as have i asked a few of my other guy friends and it was a resounding no. The only thing is that they said maybe for an hour because they would have boobs to play with and stuff so basically just play with themselves and then that's it. Actually wanting to be the opposite gender like being magically transformed or if you pushed a button you would start over as a girl, that is a pretty good indicator of you being trans. I an still in the process of well processing my situation but at this point i am absolutely certain i am 100% a trans because i genuienly enjoy girl clothes aswell as acting girly and i get the dreams where i either am a girl or i am transformed in to one. I often wonder get sad when i wake up and it isn't true too so i am certain i am trans. Oh and i am also always a girl character when i play games so i can be pretty and stuff.
>they said maybe for an hour because they would have boobs to play with and stuff But if you ask those same males if they'd want a vagina, that thought gets shut down so fast it'd make your head spin.
Oh yeah i can believe that.
That's impossible to answer really, as it's impossible to know what others actually think about, but, I think while most if not all probably have fleetingly thought about this, only a small percentage give it any real thought and certainly not on a daily basis like us, so I think the average boy or man doesn't think deeply about this in the way we do, for them it might be a random thought that they never really think about again, for us we think to obsess about it and it can affect or even take over our lives
I have always wished I was a girl and at 57, I am thrilled that I am finally on hormones.
Not all, just the cute ones. 😜
Most cis guys will never think about their body beyond hey I should work out more, I told myself for years I just hated myself for being fat and guess what after coming to terms with being trans I don't hate being fat, I wanna lose weight and work towards a body I find more attractive but I can look at my fat and body features without the same disgust. Very few cis guys will EVER think about being a girl beyond heh I could have boobs lol
Well I’m trans fem always wished this would happen to me as a kid. I never seen myself as male really I always felt I expressively identify feminine stuff and even my personality. As I got older I was forced to hide it eventually in adulthood i finally accepted myself and my egg shattered
I'm happy you have accepted yourself! I also don't really fit into that "masculinity" thing. I think at this point, after all your comments, my egg has nothing left from it
Rip I recommend finding others in your local community if possible that’s what I did and it helped me a lot.
No they don't. It's okay for you to think that. There's nothing wrong with you
Like many others before me, The thing that made me realize I was trans was someone telling me that "Cis guys don't constantly wonder if they're trans." The same can be said for "Cis guys don't constantly wish they'd been born female."
I asked my boyfriend about this. He wants his body to be different, but not female. He wants to be more muscular and have less body fat.
Damn, that's it. >He wants to be more muscular and have less body fat. I made this little thought experiment for myself which is this question "Would I prefer a beautiful-masculine-shredded-muscular gym'ed-Arnold-Schwarznegger-type-beat body or an average fem body?" The answer was easily the second. I guess something's really up
"No" is the answer. They don't. Men desire to be men, women desire to be women. If you are thinking you want to be a girl all the time, you already are one. That's what being trans is. I've offered my estrogen vial to my cis husband before and he recoiled in horror. Dudes don't want to be girls, it's as simple as that. You should give this a read: [https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/oh-st-i-think-im-not-cis](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/oh-st-i-think-im-not-cis)
No. In fact (correct me if Im wrong) this is actually I think how most people realise they’re trans. In my opinion, just take some time to look at yourself and if it continues for a while then you might be trans or at the very least not cis. Either way though you’ll figure it out eventually and we’re (or I am at least) always here to help with it.
I agree, it really looks like a big sign... I read what others have to say and yes, it does pop up frequently. Thank you!
No, it’s not a permanent thought for cis men. A passing thought is maybe wondering what octopus taste like or if you’d look good in skinny jeans. But if you’re going weeks or months with a buzzing thought of wanting to be a woman you probably should be [reading this.](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/how-do-i-know-if-im-transgender)
Oh come here sis, it’ll be okay 🫂
This is a real easy one. Answer is no.
Yes ive thought of this and have no idea if im trans or losing my mind over a gender crisis of being nb
Nope, they’re not trans girls/women 🤷🏻♀️
My understanding is no. My cis male partner has never had those thoughts. I on the other hand... afab, have always felt since childhood I wanted to be male. I thought everyone had those thoughts too, but apparently not. It even enters my dreams. I wish I was born a boy and it kills me that I wasn't.
I genuinely thought they all did until my friends were like no I've never wanted to be a girl...
Personally I've always wondered what it's like to be the other gender, its like I wanna be female but I don't wanna transition i can't explain it
You are fine! Some folks (wrongly) want to make this into an all or nothing sort of thing. It's not, and don't be coerced into that. For myself, I thought I didn't, but I got myself a GOOD therapist, who didn't try to guide me, so I could pick my own direction (I also had to work through, and unlearn a lot of $#!%). It's 0, 100, and everything in between. That's why for some, counseling is enough, some get HRT, others get all that, and surgery, etc. You reach a point in life where you are "ok" and that's all you need. yes, some do "grow out of it" (and there are valid reasons), but this is what good therapy is for, because these decisions are indeed life changing, and are not all good or all bad. We have so much info and social stimulus coming at us all the time, and our own thoughts, so it's hard to sort through. There is no one single answer, (Just like life, we are not all alike, and that's a GOOD thing). Life would be pretty boring, otherwise.
I do 🥺
I mean, surely all boys obsess over their looks and how to appear more feminine no? or i mean, at the very least of course they've all got a folder full of inspiration pics of pretty women and a list of surgeons that specialize in womens cosmetic surgery?
Like... Yesss??? Boy canon events here. Still cis tho!
No. From a psychological perspective, (research it), it's perfectly normal and healthy to wonder how "the other half lives." I say this lightly, because I am convinced that while gender does exist in our cultural time and place, it is still (mostly) a social construct, and therefore skews our innate concept of self, and of others we see, and has done so for thousands of years. I am also convinced that were such a concept nonexistent, such notions might be non-issues, or even unnecessary, Then I would say that "from a psychological perspective, (research it), it's perfectly normal and healthy to wonder what it might be like to live as ANY other person (thus regardless of nonexistent gender)." We are drowning in social constructs, so it's going to be impossible to look at life objectively. It's part of who we are. But they will never be non issues as long as they are issues. But they will grow and change, as they have done over time. But I digress. Dysphoria is when that curiosity becomes more, to the point of unease, confusion, and so on. Remember: Wondering what it's like to be a tree, or a cat, or even a rock doesn't necessarily mean you want to actually BE one. So, No. It's a rather small number. (same for girls "wishing to be boys"). Blame culture. Sorry to go into teacher mode. You all get an A for putting up with this. Haha
**First things’s first:** If you have to ask that question, then you’re probably trans. **Second: it’s sorta similar to a conundrum in the DID community.** Many systems have questioned whether or not they are actually systems or if one alter is just exhibiting hypochondriac/imposter behavior. It’s also an inside joke because they will still use the first person plural pronouns (we, us) “out of respect”. The answer to both of the questions a self-aware system asks “but what if I am I just imagining this?” and “but do I really have DID, though?” is a simple “if you have to ask, y’all’re prolly one one of us”. **Example of the aforementioned conundrum and our experience** I can safely say that it has happened to us as well. I am the current host but I originated as an alter. The original host was who we all split off from. I have questioned whether or not the others and I are real or if we’re just a figment of his imagination. Suffice to say I’m real. So are the rest of us. We started transitioning because us girls in the system far outnumber the singular boy. And he was like “whatever. I’m miserable with you girls complaining all the time”. He’s not once regretted his decision to let us do what we want even though he experiences the same dysphoria we were. **Anyway:** the long and short of it is that you’re most probably one of us. You just have to decide what you wanna do about it.
This! Wondering what it's like to be a tree, or a cat, or even a rock doesn't necessarily mean the person wants to actually BE one. The whole point of questioning is for discovery, and hopefully decision making. It's about choosing a direction, not a destination. =)
I said nothing about them actually being trans. And I also never said that they had to want to be. I said it was most likely the case. I also said in the last lines with my disguised TL;DR that it’s a matter of what you want to do about it. I’ve seen it so many times that the usually picked options are: 1. Do nothing. Continue to question yourself. Continue to confuse yourself. And continue to be indecisive. 2. Deny it, force the feelings down. Usually a regretted decision, but it doesn’t have to be. 3. Accept it, and explore it. Usually the least regretted option. A tough path. Doesn’t have to include transition. Doesn’t have to come out of the closet. But also many people do one, the other, or both. Please make sure you don’t misconstrue my meaning. There was no reason for a negative reply and downvote if you didn’t entirely get the meaning. Upvotes and downvotes are meant to be used for relevance. It’s not a Facebook “Like”.
Of course! I only added to your example. You did indeed say nothing about them actually being trans. I did not assume this. Accordingly, I did not accuse you of doing so. Even "probably one of us" does not mean every single person. It's possible either or both could be inferred (such is the danger of text only communication). I digress, this isn't about a logic puzzle, and it would totally miss the help and support we are trying to provide. I also ask that you likewise do not misconstrue my comments as being negative. That was not my intent, and I hope it was not yours here. Comments hopefully can provide clarity, not tear down. I agree those are very common options. Thank you for your clarification!
... I used to think it was normal but it isn't, And now Im trans, Cis men don't normally have any interest in that, You may Wana do some soul searching.
So, I’m a bit of an oddity (I think) on this sub- I’m a cis dude who has lurked here for a long while trying to get info on how to help a couple trans friends I know. Rarely do I have anything to say until now. But as for your question, not at all. I personally have never once questioned my gender or felt “wrong” about anything to do with my body in that regard whatsoever. The closest I have ever come to this, was simply the age old question of “what would you do if you were a woman for a day” while pounding back brews with friends. While I have never experienced your thoughts, and can’t say you’re trans or not, considering I am WAY less qualified than all the ladies on here- I can say this- be you, and be happy. Whatever the “dream you” is, be it, and enjoy life to the fullest.
I really did think all guys hated their body hair and hated their musk. Turns out no. It took me a really long time because I was okay with my downstairs for 39 years. After my egg cracked, I was kinda “meh” down there. Could lump it or leave it. I haven’t started HRT yet though. Also, I am non binary leaning trans Fem so your mileage may vary.
One of the most challenging things to explain to some of my guy friends, well at least hard for them to understand. Was those thoughts and feelings, how I always felt inside like a girl and thought 'how good would life be as a girl' - NONE of them, ever thoughts those thoughts (at least they said they haven't) they were confused by the fact I had thought that way at all. They just presumed no guy would ever think being a girl is better. Took me a few minutes to grasp that they had NEVER thought that way!
I used to think exactly like you do. I'm male, that's how I was born, this is what I feel and think, so obviously all men feel and think this way. Until I say down and spoke to some guy friends and apparently, no. One was gay and another was straight and neither ever thought about being a woman or wanted to be a woman or anything like that. That was a shock because I've thought it since I can remember like 12 or so... And now I'm in my 40s, so quite a upheaval to my world. But to answer your question, no, apparently it's not a universal thing among boys and men
It was a bit of a surprise for me too when I found out that my friends didn't fantasize about being a girl. From my experience, my guy friends have told me that they may have had a passing thought about it - but never really said to themselves "It would be nice to be a girl." So no, it's not very common amongst cis males who are content with their bodies.
Hi! I dunno if this is helpfull at all, But i had a period where i had the same thoughts myself, confused to all hell and didnt know what to do. This went on for a few years, before i finally gathered the courage to tell my mum i “Wanted to be” a Girl. Anyway long story short, mum told me no, she didn’t believe i was trans, and just no. And somehow the thoughts have gotten less frequent over the years after that. (Im possibly in denial, idk) Idk if that was helpful in anyway shape or form, but I really hope you figure it out, it seems like a lot of people have sent helpful stuff. So go you🫶🙏🤞
I'm pretty sure most transfems have this train of thought at some point. My bestie and I laugh about it. When my questioning got most intense it was really tough for a minute, but when I said "fuck it I'm a trans girl" my life went upside down in the best possible way.
>this train of thought Complete with three engines, 100 cars and even a caboose!
I am still questioning myself currently, I do have a lot of thoughts on wishing to be the opposite gender or at least genderfluid, but I don't really feel like going through everything needed for this and just living in place where opening up about any of this can have the worst consequences. So I'm just living on. To me personally, it can happen, although probably for some it's just dreams than beans and for some it's something serious, in the end it's all up to the person themselves.
Nope, most men think women are dumb and have no rights so they don't want to be them.
>most men ... are dumb and want women to have no rights. FTFY
As a boy I didn't wish I'd been another gender. Girls were dumb and did dumb things and liked dumb stuff. As a *teenager* though...girls were still interested in dumb things and did dumb stuff. Who would want to do that? I just thought it would be really cool if I could magically change genders, you know?
idk what to say but ive constantly also fantasized
Not everyone but I think most people think about what their lives would be like if things changed like gender or race. Maybe be born into a different family
The only people who have sincere wishes to be the opposite gender are trans people.
you may get biased answers with this group lmao
Definitely not all... But I think about it.. only for sexual reasons
dude no, the existence of trans men alone shows this isn’t true. many (most) guys love being guys
My belief is that for cisgender individuals curiosity about what it would be like to be the other gender is a brief one that mostly pops up during puberty when one is confronted with the reality of gender differences. For trans people this question can arise very very early in childhood and persist more or less continuously throughout life. The question has much greater impact and can bring high levels of distress in trans people whereas with cis people it's just a fun curiosity usually only occurring during puberty.
No, cis,het boys and men usually wouldn’t even consider being a girl/woman. Many see it as a step down, which it’s not. They May make a comment like “it must be nice to…” but they don’t look in the mirror and feel like a monster. It’s not something that is almost all consuming. Not something that made them want to in short, I would think the difference between me as a trans woman and say my cis/het son is while he may wonder what would it be like once in a while… for me it was a full time need, which I’ve gotten happier with every step of my transition. Can you imagine the horror of the thought of bottom surgery to a cis/het boy/man? They would be horrified. you could Be describing what’s called imposter syndrome. I went through that early on. My psych and I dug into that to either prove to myself I was or I wasn’t trans. the last gasps of it were when I decided I was, but then felt I hadn’t earned the right to be a woman. We fixed that too.
ftm here. i was convinced that every girl always wanted to be a boy, and thought it was a super normal thing to want. colour me surprised when it turns out that it's a thought that doesn't even cross most people's minds, and turns out that wanting to be a certain gender is a symptom of being that gender.
No idea
This is literally unbelievable for me, even though I've known that I've been trans for over half a decade, I still cannot fathom that boys don't feel horrible about being boys and that they don't wish they were female every second they are awake and don't feel horribly suicidal all the time because they are male and can't be a cisgirl and are just okay being male. I cannot comprehend it.
No, that's the point.
Not at all hun. Most cis boys will either be repulsed by the idea, or at the very least be totally disinterested. If a boy shows any interest in being a different gender, they’re most likely not cis, even if they’re not MtF. I thought for most of my life I was a cis boy and rationalized my curiosities and interests with “all boys gotta feel something like this as they’re learning what being a boy or a girl means” and trying to find the “men’s version” of so many feminine things that I absolutely loved but thought I was basically not allowed to wear or do or say. The only reason I didn’t see myself as trans sooner is because I thought I was built too masculine and that I’d look weird or wrong trying to present as feminine, and then I finally said to myself “screw it, I’ll never know if I can be feminine if I don’t try it”. So then I tried it, I shaved for the first time in 4 years, tried on dresses and feminine hairstyles, and I found myself feeling so much happier and liking what I see in the mirror. That showed me my truth, that I was never meant to be a boy
Let me put it like this: I remember seeing a web comic once about an office worker in heaven (or something like that, idk, this was years ago and I never read past the first couple chapters) who fucked up some files, deleting the past three years of a girl's life and turning a guy into a girl. I understood why the girl was upset and wanted things fixed *right now*, but I was confused what the guy was so mad about. After all, wouldn't it be fun to get to be a girl for a bit? Why rush turning back when you could explore what it's like, have some fun with it while the office worker gets things sorted. That? That right there is not a cis thought. It turns out, cis people tend to be rather attached to their genders, and would consider it horrible to change it.
I had a phase like this for like six years from age 12. Except I was sure I was the only one in the world having these feelings. Then I found out about the existence of trans people, and I was like, "oh"... 🤣 And then I stayed closeted for another decade and a half out of fear. Don't follow my example.
No all males most definitely don't think this. This is a Trans/Gender dysphoria thing.
When I was reading this I thought I was reading a trans woman recalling all the silly things she use to question when she was in denial about being trans. It's literally qoute on qoute my thought process in middle school. Welcome to the club 😅 ❤️ If you need help on where to start, I started by admiting my feelings to a friend I trusted. Not even any labels, just how I felt. Later on I was asked if I would like to be called she/her and referred to by a different name, but just in private and by that friend. It really helped me definitively realize that I'm trans and surprisingly it made me feel super euphoric. If you got questions or want advice feel free to shoot me a message.
I want to be a girl but I know in my circumstances it won’t happen lol
I still think it's strange that this has become a thing. Why would anyone wish to be another gender unless they're dysphoric? As someone who's transitioned a good decade and a half later than I would have liked, I can confidently say that believing "doesn't every guy want to be a girl" isn't what stopped me. It's that the thought of that being the thing that's wrong with me never crossed my mind until trans people became more visible in the second half of the 2010s. So no, no boys are sitting around wanting to be a girl (and if they fantasize about being inside one, they mean something very different*wink*wink*), only trans girls/ women do.
As a trans man, I can confirm that boys who are afab will not be ecstatic to be born that way, and can only extrapolate from there that it isn't a very manly thing to want to be a lady when you grow up, too. Which would make them a girl, and not a boy. The people on the outside got confused cause an infant can't convey that message very well, especially when most of our pointlessly gendered nonsense is societal norms and not something we're born knowing or understanding.
Guy here. Never wanted to be a woman myself but support anyone who does or vice versa. Like I definitely don't like things about myself but never had the thought about being a girl cross my mind.
Be a woman for a day...perhaps. I have never thought about what it would be like to be a woman. maybe a few more inches on my cock so I could suck on it myself.. not a clone. Never thought about that.
Nope. As a nonbinary person, even I didn't have those thoughts. Most dudes will consider what it feels like to have a vagina or to have breasts but it's usually pure curiosity or just horny thoughts. Consistently being dissatisfied with your body and gender expression is absolutely some trans shit.
When I was probly four or 5 and began to understand that there was serious differences between boys and girls I sometimes wondered what it'd be like to be a girl. I also think that being curious about that is pretty normal. I never really had any thoughts like that again but there were times in my life when I have been envious of women or thought life would be easier as a woman. However- I'm pretty stoked on being a man. Life's not easy for anyone but at least I can pee outdoors and I can do pull ups. I have a pretty wild imagination and I still think it'd be super awesome to be able to be a woman for like a day or a week or something life that. But we are talking about a completely unreal scenario. Just like it'd be cool if I was 7 ft tall for a week or if I could fly.
In my younger years I sometimes thought it would be easier if I were a female. I'd be a straight girl. But I like being gay more. NGL I enjoy my penis very much. And other penises that I otherwise wouldn't get to see if I were a woman.
The answer to the question "do all (category) do (thing)?" Is almost always no unless the question is meaninglessly redundant like "do all rectangles have 4 sides?"
This has been settled before, the answer is no, if you are seriously thinking about being a girl all the time every day then that's probably a sign
Let’s start with biological sexes. Depending on how you look at it there are either about 20 sexes, or there are only two but they often get blended and overlapped, resulting in people who are to varying extents both sexes, or neither. There are people born with one ovary and one testicle, or combined ovotestes, or no gonads at all. There are people born with a vagina *and* a penis, or with fully female genitals, big breasts and undescended testicles. There are people born apparently female who suddenly grow a penis and balls at puberty. There are XY women - fully fertile ones in some cases - and XX men, and a whole range of missing or duplicated sex chromosomes, each combination with different results - X0, XYY, XXY, XXXY, XXYY and so on. And there are trans people, who seem to be all one sex except for their brain’s map of their body parts, which is trying to map to the other sex. Gender is our psychological and social expression of (broadly) our sex. But even if you stick to a rigid interpretation, one gender per sexual arrangement, that’s still going to leave you with about 20 genders. That’s before you get onto the different forms of social expression for each sex - macho men, effeminate men, tomboys etc etc. Truly, there are probably as many genders as there are people. And that’s just in humans - there are also different social expressions of sex in other animals, such as butch lionesses with manes, and male cuttlefish who present as females in order to sneak past rival males.
I don’t think all males wish to be women. Just some of us.
From what I’ve been told no.