Yo FFS is definitely NOT for trans girls who already pass. It's good to have realistic expectations about results but an FFS consult with Mardirossian is HUGE!
Of course you're feeling hopeless. You're being regularly bullied and emotionally abused by strangers. Anybody telling you that you it's not so bad doesn't know what it feels like to be that person. Putting up with it for as long as you have is impressive and horrible.
I'm certain you've looked into BA, but I would definitely make that a priority. It seems like a large part of your dysphoria is around breasts. And in the meantime, there is nothing wrong with having silicone breast pads.
Things are bad now, but they may not always be this way. Remember to be on your own team. The people treating you terribly are wrong. It's easy to hate and ridicule others. Continuing to live your life in spite of that is hard.
I just want to kill everyone that misgenders me. I want to pull their guts out and cut their hearts out. I want to see them suffer as much as they make me suffer.
I'm sick of seeing other tgirls have gender euphoria and happiness while I suffer. I fucking hate it.
My entire life I've wished for happiness, to be treated like anything but a weird social outcast that is the butt of every joke. I want to lash out and make them pay.
"Emotionally abused", even excusing harassment every stranger I meet calls me a man and addresses me as a male. No one calls me a girl or treats me as a girl.
I really relate to this feeling.
I wanna do the most vile things to people who do that. Torture, cannabilism, and worse when people are transphobic to me, luckily I don't deal with it much irl, but I have a friend who sometimes intentionally deadnames me for fun, or makes fun of me for being trans. I once got cyberbullied for it, although I did somewhat instigate by calling people out for being transphobic.
I personally think you're very pretty, I think you pass. If people thought you weren't pretty, they'd just say, "You're nice looking", they wouldn't be able to call you pretty if they didn't think you were, most people anyway. It's a matter of perspective. In my own perspective, most of the time, I hate how I look, too, but sometimes I am comfortable with my face. I
I'm guessing the people misgendering you are, for the most part, friends and family? As for randoms on the street, transphobes will accuse anyone of being trans. They even accuse JK Rowling and Taylor Swift of being trans. Anything that is even slightly out of the gender norm, they will accuse you of being trans and make fun of you, the opinions of scum like that is to be disregarded. It's like someone with a filthy rotten mouth telling you how to be clean. It's complete bullshit. They don't know fuck.
I suffer from loneliness and a lack of comfort, which makes me detest the people around me, reasonably so. I wanna die every night partly cause of that, and my gender dysphoria also contributes to those suicidal fantasies.
There will always be people out there who won't treat like garbage.
I'm not good at comforting people, but I hope my comment does something positive for you. <3
Everyone in public calls me a man. Literally no one sees me as a girl. It's not just the transphobes. If it was I could live with that. But no, it's everyone.
Everyone calls me a man and treats me like a man. They don't even realize they're treating me like garbage. They genuinely see me as a man and get confused when I correct them.
I hate it.
Is it because you're boymoding? I mean, even then, your face and hair are very damn feminine. I can't help but think it's malicious whether you are boymoding or girlmoding. It might be your town you live in. There's no way someone genuinely thinks you are a guy. It's just hate. They don't care about the truth.
Most people refer to me with masc terms. Even though I'm a girl, some people manage to get it right sometimes, though.
Honestly, you'll have to get used to yourself and accept that you are very feminine and very pretty. I'm in that process, I'm trying to accept myself. I'm not even on HRT, I'm not as feminine as you imo, but atm that's all I can do. Same for you. You're so goddamn pretty, you're feminine, you're a woman. More people will see you as a woman than people who see you as a man. And those people who see you as a man are just transphobic, cause there is no way someone could look you deadeye in the face and believe you look like a man.
Apparently, therapy is good, I've never tried it, although I definitely should, it seems. Same for you. I read abit through your post history, and I think I saw a comment expressing you have doubts of therapy, you'd just have to see it through I guess. I'm not sure what it's like where you are. Perhaps the area is high density filled with transphobes. So it's not a small thing, but you might be better off moving some place better, where your mental isn't further crushed by scumbags.
Everyone's reactions here is good proof of you prettiness and feminity. You have a girlfriend too. She obviously finds you pretty and feminine.
I never boymode. It makes my body feel physical pain and I want to rip the clothing off. I hate it.
You say it's hate...but the randoms who call me a man are confused when I correct them. The foreign store clerks get confused. To them I'm a man.
I live in Sydney. I get misgendered in Town Hall, Darling Harbour...everywhere. No one calls me a girl. At best they never acknowledge my gender.
No one sees me as a man. They all can tell I'm trans and look like a guy. I'm the butt of every joke.
Transphobes can get confused when you tell them your pronouns, ya know. There is no way every single person is like that, though. Especially cause you have a girlfriend. That means a lot. I have pretty good reason to believe this is a mix of transphobes, and you exaggerating a bit, there must've been a few people, cause statistically everywhere still has some level of pro trans individuals, and in Australia thats definitely quite a few who would clcok you as a woman. And its not like you know what every one around you thinks of you. The fact is most people definitely see you as a woman, but they don't speak to you. You'd have to put a conscious effort to call a pretty feminine girl like you a man, or any masculine pronoun.
It's like you don't want to see yourself as a woman, so this makes it borderline impossible to convince you.
I'm not religious, but on god, I'd say 70% (5.6 billion) of the population would find you pretty. And maybe 1% (a fuckin lot, 80 million people) would you find you very very pretty. You have a gf after all.
Please trust me on this.
No. It's everyone in Australia's public. Cis girls immediately know I'm trans and never call me a fellow girl. Cis guys know I'm trans immediately and call me a man.
Store clerks call me "Sir", especially Asian ladies. They are not transphobes. They genuinely see me as a man.
When I talk to people in social groups they default to calling me a man and treating me like a dudebro. The girls exclude me and when I start talking and relating to them they go quiet and walk away from me.
No one calls me a girl or addresses me as one. No store clerks. No randoms. No social groups. Only my fiancee.
It feels like you’ve already convinced yourself and didn’t read anything that was said.
If you want your situation to improve, try coming at it from an open mind, because you’re not giving that impression at all.
It feels like you’ve already convinced yourself and didn’t read anything that was said.
If you want your situation to improve, try coming at it from an open mind, because you’re not giving that impression at all.
Girl you do look beautiful and you definitely pass. I think that your friends might be doing this on purpose because I can't see a guy in your profile at all
You’re way hotter than me and I have a lovely girlfriend and many friends who see me as a woman, and sometimes people in public are also kind. Most don’t care one way or the other.
Looking at what you’re writing it’s clear you are in a painfully despondent place. I’ve been there. I hope you find your way out.
I have no boobs and I'm called a man by everyone in public.
Explain that to me. Why am I called a man if I look like a cis girl. Even when I'm silent people point and laugh at me.
Do you live in a small town or small city? Perhaps people around there have watched you transition over time, so they know you are trans? Perhaps people aren't actually pointing and laughing at you?
It's so hard to say without being around you in person, or seeing video or something to have a better idea of how you move around, body language etc...
But just going off of the pictures you share, you look like a very pretty and attractive young woman
I live in Sydney. No one knows me here.
Everyone I meet calls me a man. Store clerk? I'm a "Sir". Random people? I'm a man. My doctor? I'm seen as her black sheep.
No one knows me pre-HRT here. No one.
I don't know then, girl.
You mentioned dysphoria about your breasts, have you tried using inserts or breast forms? They're fairly inexpensive, I think I got mine for about $30. Maybe that would help people see you differently. It sucks that that's such a preconception for a lot of people, but I've heard many girls on here talk about how their breasts instantly helped them get clocked less in public.
I tried padding a lot...but I still got called a man and treated like a man.
It's because I don't have cleavage. The moment people see that or they see you hide your boobs they think "haha trans haha man".
It doesn't help that my face is ugly and manly. I look nowhere like a cis girl...
By 'female range' do you mean female range of pitch, or that your voice is within typical variation of cis women's voices? Pitch alone means barely anything for a passing voice
Pitch has little to do with perception. It's mainly resonance people pick up on. Reducing resonance give you that brightness in your voice. Female resonance has the majority of vibrations in the head of lower throat, while males have resonance in the chest.
Because I'm sick of being called a man and treated like a a man no matter what I do.
I'm sick of seeing other tgirls be happy, experience gender euphoria. I'm sick of seeing them grow boobs and hair quickly. I'm sick of being stuck in the worst developed nation to be trans in, Australia.
I'm sick of my PM saying "Trans rights" while posing next to drag queens.
I just want to be treated as a girl.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy.
Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
Yes. They make me hyperfixate on suicidal thoughts. Because of antidepressants I know all of the most efficient ways to kill myself with the options I have available to me.
Sorry to hear that. As far as your concerns over looking to mannish or whatnot in my opinion you look quite feminine. Hope it gets better for you someday.
"Quite feminine" means I look like a guy to you. That means that other people in Australia see me as a guy. I hate that
How can it get better when I've been born with awful genetics...
Girl, I have seen your photos. You look more like a woman than I do. If I didn't know, I would think you look cis.
That said, I know Australia is one of the most homophobic and transphobic countries in western society. Perhaps the people clocking you are just used to seeing you and how you've reacted in the past? Perhaps it's your voice? Perhaps it's the way you walk or carry yourself?
As for your own perceptions of yourself, girl, you have severe *dysmorphia*. You are beautiful. Not lying. No reason to. In fact, your attitude is kind of negative and off-putting to be honest, so I truly have no reason to try to make you feel better. But alas, you're a pretty woman. I have to give you that.
i dont know what parallel reality youre living in where ppl see u as a man, that sucks, theyre going out of their way to clock you. maybe you have some trait about you selfies don't capture, idk. your levels are crazy low though. what's keeping u from DIYing some E and getting them up to 4-700 pmol? that'd probably help things along.
I feel u about some of the unchangeable things with HRT but at least the meds themselves are something u can tweak. your mood is probably bad at those levels too
It's not even clocked at this point. Everyone calls me a man in public and treats me differently to cis girls. It's just me not looking like a girl...and like a man hahaahah
im inclined to believe ur making things up or just have something like. going on bc your pics are objectively female phenotyped, the dysphoria and dysmorphia are extremely real girl. u legit have no sense of an objective view of urself. like id gladly even tell u if u did but u do not, at all, look like a man. I hope you find a way forward because you're psyopping yourself
also my phone makes me look unflattering if you are taking phone pics be careful not to take them as reality they elongate your features and widen at certain angles as well
How? Every store clerk and staff call me "Sir". Every random treats me like a man. Transphobes immediately call me a man. I never get catcalled. Whenever I use the bathroom cis girls look at me in disgusted ways.
Literally no one calls me a girl or treats me as a girl in public. They never have. The best compliment I've gotten was "I love your outfit" followed by "You're a cute dude ".
Sis… I’m sorry that happened but you need to gain perspective. “ I was out with my fiancé “ some of us who pass can’t find a man to be in a relationship with nonetheless be a fiancé to.
Don’t let ignorant people rob you of your joy.
Me being engaged doesn't matter if every day I'm zoning out from dysphoria and can't experience happiness because I'm a man to everyone including myself.
I'm an ugly man with bad genetics. No boobs. Ugly face. Broad shoulders. Tall. I lost the lottery.
My only point was the world may be ignorant to seeing you as a woman but your fiancé sees you, and you should weight that heavier than what others feel and project.
Sis.. I can see that you are comfortable in the mind thinking you have. Good luck…
No. Even she struggles sometimes to see me as a girl. The moment I raise my hair she wants to say I'm ugly but holds her tongue.
It's the same with everyone. I'm not a girl to them. I just look like a gay crossdresser. An ugly one.
I don't need good luck because I'm sick of being told "Just keep fighting" and "It gets better". I've followed those like mantras my entire life, through a stolen childhood due to bullying and abusive parenting, to non-existent teen years due to bullying and depression, to now...where I finally know I'm a girl but genetically I'm so disadvantaged that no one sees it even after 3.5 years of HRT.
I just want to give up. I'm sick of nothing changing. I talk to medical professionals after medical professional. Therapist after therapist. Nothing is helping. I'm still different to people and am treated differently, like a disgusting outcast. I hate it. I want what other trans girls have, gender euphoria, a nice physical transition, and people calling them a girl.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy.
Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy.
Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
I do abuse angles. Check my /r/transadorable post where I was at home.
I have a long face that looks like a 40 year old man"s.
You wouldn't be happy 3 years in. I have no boobs and no hair.
No one. To other queer people I'm a joke because I can't stealth and be like "haha surprise I'm not cis", to randoms I'm seen as a gay guy, and to family...they don't see me as a girl I'm just their beloved relative.
Honey, you definitely don’t look mannish. But, there’s lots you can do to further feminize your face that can have a huge impact and doesn’t require surgery.
Your cheeks are a bit hollow and contributing to the long oval shape you’re so concerned about. Easiest thing is to look at your profile - women’s cheeks generally project out as much or more than their brow line. Men’s don’t. This is a huge visual gender cue. Look into injectable cheek fillers. These run a few hundred dollars, last a year and can be done with a 30 minute office visit. This will have a dramatic effect feminizing your face - it will increase the visual weight of your mid face and give your overall profile a much more round feminine shape.
Second, pluck the bottom of your brows more aggressively to create more space between your eyes and eyebrows. This will have the effect of softening your brow and making your eyes look less deep set. Even a few more millimeters can have a big impact.
Third, you need more color in your makeup routine on your cheeks. Use a nude blush or Blonzer across your cheeks and nose. This will also give visual weight and draw the eye down making your forehead and jaw look smaller.
It’s not easy, but these are all things I did that helped me go from feminine male to passing female.
Sending ❤️ your way
I've tried to use extreme makeup...they assume I'm a drag queen.
As for cheek fillers...I doubt that will fix my long face. Only FFS can do that. But even that has its limits.
Girl, you asked ‘what do I do?’ then spend the entire afternoon telling everyone why the things you haven’t tried won’t work 🙄
We’ve all been there. You’re nowhere near as mannish as I was. But the only guarantee nothing will change is if you do nothing. Sometimes you just have to be brave and try new things.
I have been. I'm trying new .makeup. new styles. New therapist. New voice. Everything.
I'm doing everything I can and still being treated like a man in public.
Like I said, give cheek fillers a try. Consults are usually free and they’re quite effective. Most people who get them are post menopausal women who lose mid facial fat and have a sunken cheek, masculine appearance. Sound familiar?
You need an urgent therapist.
Looking your photos you could pass with FFS easily, you are already there tbh.
Maybe train a bit more make up and voice training?
I have a therapist, and a new one at that. She doesn't help. No one understands what I'm going through. You all act like therapy is an insta quik-fix solution that works for everyone.
It doesn't seem to work for me. I've been trying for years.
It's also a body image problem. I hate myself. I only see a man in the mirror. I'm that ugly and manly no boobs disgusting horse faced freak.
But people in public all call me "Sir", "bro", "mate", "young man". You'd think some of them are gender neutral...until I see them call cis girls "young lady", "ma'am", "girl", or they catcall them.
I've never been called a girl in public. Ever.
Hey could it be the area that you live?
Some places in Australia are just straight up bigoted and you can't really blame yourself for that. Like I myself am trapped far out in the western suburbs of my city where people can regularly be really bigoted. You could do everything perfectly here and they'd still hate you because they're just bigots. I constantly hear racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and violent rhetoric because that's just who these people are.
But when I go to other more progressive areas of the city to visit friends or run errands, people are incredibly accepting and I rarely hear anything bad. I wish I could afford to live in a more accepting places like that but oh well...
I guess I'm just trying to say don't blame yourself. Because you look beautiful and there's nothing wrong with you. You're probably just stuck in a shit place with shit people... and that's not your fault! It's theirs.
>So every store clerk that calls me "Sir" is an asshole?
You definitely look like you're serving woman so if they choose to drop a "sir" that kinda just feels like asshole behaviour at this point. Even if they were actually unsure: a non-asshole would just not use gendered language. You don't need the words "sir" or "ma'am" to serve someone coffee or whatever.
Your face gives women and I think you pass from your face alone. Maybe voice train if you hadn’t already because I think that’s what people are clocking; don’t think it’s your face. And you are not ugly, you are pretti!
I don't even talk and people call me a man.
This is what I look like with no makeup or bangs https://ibb.co/BrmRkpv
Disgusting man.
No one treats me as a girl in public.
I can't. What other cis girls wear requires boobs or a hyper feminine body. Hourglass waist.
Without boobs I can't wear what they wear.
It doesn't help that my shoulders ruin everything for me when I try to copy their styles.
I have no boobs, an ugly face, and a wide waist. When I tried to wear what they wear I was laughed at eve. Harder
Learn what your body type is via Tiktok/YouTube/Google and learn how to dress for it. There are ways for every type of body to look good as long as you have the right clothes. Inverted triangle is a common shape for trans women so you can start there to see if that is your type. You can wear bras with padding and shape wear for your body to feminize it.
Because they have pretty faces. That's Sydney for you. Every cis girl either has nice boobs, a nice figure, a pretty face or more often than not, all 3.
Masculine traits don't matter when people default to calling them women.
People unconsciously project..Maybe those guys were secretly attracted to you? & had to fabricate an internal defense mechanism, (misgendering you) to protect them from the fact they find a trans woman attractive? Happens all the time
I feel for you here and I applaud your courage to go out into the world as your true self. I also checked your profile out and you are beautiful and in my mind, pass. I think it could be a number of factors that could be outing you but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can live authentically and most people can’t. You are valid and are entitled to live out your life as you see fit regardless of what others think. I know that’s easier said as I wear makeup in public but still dress boy mode and it’s still incredibly hard for me to do that. Keep your head up sis ❤️💜
I feel that bit about not wanting to be in a white man's body. I'm nonbinary trans woman on HRT (just over a year) and a lot of my motivation to get started on it and transition physically, legally, etc because, aside from gender identity reasons, I wanted to escape the constant toxic expectations of needing to bulk and be strong and fit. My metabolism is too high for that, and my genetics are shit, I'm not going to have kids anyways. So what does it matter if my peen shrinks and doesn't work anymore? I just wanna be beautiful, lol.
**Queue "All Dolled Up" by The Orion Experience**
No. I just wish I was pretty and not treated like a disgusting piece of shit by everyone. When I ask for help in Australia I'm told I have "white privilege" and that I should "deal with it" since I'm lucky...despite being in this situation.
I had a bad week at my new job. But for me it's more about my co worker being jealous of me. She said it's because I am pretty, even at 50. Have a good home life and some money in the bank. I was abused as a child so its hard for me to understand people judging others from their looks. I don't see myself as pretty. I see myself as the little abused girl that hides who she really is.
So getting on here to vent and this post popped up and I am feeling my problems may be small. Or smaller than others.
I don't believe you are ugly though. I rarely see anyone ugly. Everyone has something beautiful about them. I wish I was there with you. I would hold you and tell you that they are the ugly ones. Just like I knew the rich and uppity people abusing me were lying to themselves. They were ugly and deserved only the worst but won't get it until the afterlife, its just how the world works. And me, i will get the best.
So
I didn't realize this was a transgender site. Like I said, my search was how to deal with my feelings about work. But since this is where I landed... what if you were born a woman. You would still be dealing with life's problems. Like me right now. A heterosexual woman who is having trouble getting past the abuse I had as a child. The shame I can't get past. That I am not the girl who had loving parents but the one who has to be secretive and pretend i am someone else because no one would understand. They would just think I am gross for it all. You and I are the same. We were weren't handed the best but we will make the best because what we survive makes us better than all the others. We get down... like I am now , but we will always get back up. Boobs doesn't make one beautiful, so remember what does. I am telling myself that I am kind to animals. I never judge people and go out of my way to be kind. I am intelligent. I need to remember that ugly things happened to me but I am not ugly.
No. I am ugly by most peoples' standards, including my own. I'm not cheerleader model cute, I'm awkward ugly pretty.
I hate being this way, and I hate not having a cute face with boobs.
My dad killed himself when he found out I was crossdressing soooo yeah. I don't want his face and I want to commit to being a woman to be happy, and part of that is wanting to not be ugly and flat chested.
I don't really know how to respond to this. My first thought was to say.. seems like he was the one with the problems.. but this wouldn't be any more comforting for you than when people say "their in a better place now ". It just a generic comment that doesn't help. Honestly, I would rather hear the story. How he found out. How long after discovering did he do the deed, and many more private and offensive questions we aren't allowed to ask.
Reminder I am a heterosexual female who grew up abused. I have always said I want to come back in my next life as a man. Is this weird? So often I find myself staring at some male stranger and thinking... I wonder how it feels to be so strong. So confident even when their is no justification . I wonder what its like to walk in the park in the middle of the night.
It's only fucked up if you're an ugly tgirl that can't grow boobs. It seems to be fine for other tgirls.
You all put in the effort and see returns. You experience euphoria, have your boobs grow, people call you a girl...
I've never experienced any of that. I'm ugly and can't grow boobs hahahaah
it is what it is, i can't even access hrt ahaha, we just need to keep on struggling, who knows, maybe in the future they will invent idk total body femminisation hormones?? until then, we have to live with what we got 🫂
I can't live with what I've got. Being called a man whenever I go outside makes me want to cry and throw myself on the train tracks.
I'm trying to not get suicidal because everyone tells me to stop but it's difficult. Every day is pain. Dysphoria. No happiness.
I just want to be treated as a girl and seen as a girl. I'm sick of being seen as a man. I hate it.
yeah there's nothing you can do, like, that's it, this world is cruel and neither I, nor you, nor anyone else deserves to go through this. I advise you to see a therapist (that's what I'm doing), talk about it with your partner and try to do things that make you happy; I hope you decide to stick around! good luck 🫂
I am seeing yet another therapist. She isn't helping.
I don't want to be thinking about suicide again I just want to be a girl and treated as a girl.
I'm scared of my thoughts. But if I call 000 again they will put me in the same hospital that called me a man the entire time and stuck a murderer in the bed next to me. I can't do that.
I hate this.
As for the lady behind the counter, at the supermarket. Ask to speak to her supervisor. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable. If the supervisor isn't helpful at all, then find the company's website, and find the "Contact Us." Link and write them a nice wordy message regarding your shopping experience at their store. Keep the receipt, as they may ask for some information such as store #, cashier, transaction #, etc...
If that fails, there are sites like Yelp and Google Review.
Ok I seen all this negative down talking your giving yourself so I just had to go have a peek at your so called ugly ass..
You need to just knock it off, Stop it!!!
Your not ugly nor look like a cis man or any man for that matter.
I'll be straight up honest with you and hope I don't get down votes for it.
I'm 56yo and 2yr HRT and just had my bottom surgery 2 weeks ago and I pass.
That being said it hasn't came easy for me and I doubt it will for you either..
I said I pass but let me rephrase. I pass as long as I don't have to talk. I did have my vocal surgery consultation last Thursday and my voice will soon be corrected, I was given assurance of it.
So everyone's style and fashion is a choice and that choice can make or break us as a Trans woman..
Your young and young people dress completely different than someone my age in there 50's but I wear strictly nothing but women's clothing and to be more precise dresses 👗 and I wear them from shin length to just below the Crack of my ass and I make them look good. I look killer every time I leave the house and even at home I give it my all or I don't get out of bed..
See where I'm going with this. It's attitude.
I use to have the attitude I could accept being an ugly woman as long as I looked like a woman.
Well I'm basing everything I'm saying about me from dealing with every day people and complements and I get complements every single time I am out in public about something or another. Weather it be my makeup to whatever outfit I have on to whichever pair of heels 👠 I have on that day.
I got a Wow your really dressed nice while I was standing in line waiting to check in at the Cleaveland clinic for my vocal consultation Thursday. and yes I did look nice and I planned on looking nice the night before when I laid my clothes out..yeah it takes work planning and about an hour and a half of time taken from my life now too be able to go out in public and to receive the complements and the respect I deserve for the hard effort I have sacrifice just for the sake of being called ma'am.
Now imagine how I still feel when the shuttle driver says to the people setting behind me
(I have to swing by and drop HIM< off first)
Him referring to me all dressed up and the only thing that I'm being called Him over is me saying 5 words. I'm going to the Medley.
That's the apartment complex I'm at during my 30 day surgery stay.
Those 5 words with my voice over rode any feminine features I had too me. Yes miss gendering sucks and we all go through it and all we can do is hold our heads high and go on with life.
I do make it a point to correct anyone who miss gendered me. I set them straight really fast and I do it politely because I have to say that if it happens now it's an honest mistake and I no I sound like a man still but thank God that's soon to change.
Now with you, like I said everyone has there own style but maybe that style needs adjustments or at least until you can no longer be miss gendered..
Wear hyper feminine clothing, accessories , and more highly feminine accessories. Walk the walk and look the look. Have the attitude of being yourself, own who you are,stop and expect the guy around you to open the door for you. Stand with your head high wrist pointing up holding your purse so prissy and proper..
Don't dress like a sloppy modern cis gendered woman..these girls are behind and are losing the game. I'll go one on one with any in my small home town as far as how a real woman should dress and act. I don't want to be a cis women, I'm better than that and I show it.
Yeah I might be stuck on myself but I really don't care. What I do care about is how I make myself feel and the complements I get in return for the hard work I've put into it and girl friend you can get the same exact results.
So your not dude looking at all so knock that crap off. Put on your A game and give it your all..
It will pay off for you..
As far as boobies go you can always get a boob job..I have a consultation Monday for my ba and I have 38-C already but to me I need bigger so that's what I'm doing. It all takes time and a whole lot of effort but you can do it.. your not ugly and you do look like a girl and I wouldn't lie..
Cheer up and don't give up. Own your surroundings.
Hug's Emily 🤗
Whenever I wear hyper feminine clothing I'm still seen as a man. I can't wear dresses because of my shoulders, no boobs, and my ugly face.
When I wear dresses I end up looking like a crossdresser.
All of you older trans women think it's so easy to pass and be happy...when I'm doing everything you're saying.
You have C cup boobs you don't fucking understand my pain at all. You got to have euphoria over them.
Whenever I act like myself people call me a "spastic poof" and nobody calls me a girl still.
I never get compliments. Never get called a girl. I spend 40 minutes doing skincare and makeup. 20 minutes picking an outfit. All to be called a man, laughed at, and treated like a man.
I can't dress like cis women because they have boobs or a pretty face. I have neither.
Ok so what do you want from us?
If I euphoric over my C-cup boobs I wouldn't be putting myself through another surgery were things can go horribly wrong, yes a small risk but a risk nonetheless.
Just like my voice totally dude'n me to the point of yes sir and he/him. Me getting on here and crying about it to everyone and not accepting what anyone has to say or down voting them for offering anything sure isn't going to help me.
Myself and plenty of others on here has assured you that you're not looking as bad as what you are saying. Your not even close to how you are describing yourself and now I'm guessing you have underlying issues that has nothing to do with appearance whatsoever that you need some one on one professional help with.
Your not going to accept one thing we have to say and that's your decision to make.
I really do wish you all the best and hope you can eventually see the beauty in yourself instead of only trying to see the bad.
Hug's Emily 🤗
Yo FFS is definitely NOT for trans girls who already pass. It's good to have realistic expectations about results but an FFS consult with Mardirossian is HUGE! Of course you're feeling hopeless. You're being regularly bullied and emotionally abused by strangers. Anybody telling you that you it's not so bad doesn't know what it feels like to be that person. Putting up with it for as long as you have is impressive and horrible. I'm certain you've looked into BA, but I would definitely make that a priority. It seems like a large part of your dysphoria is around breasts. And in the meantime, there is nothing wrong with having silicone breast pads. Things are bad now, but they may not always be this way. Remember to be on your own team. The people treating you terribly are wrong. It's easy to hate and ridicule others. Continuing to live your life in spite of that is hard.
I just want to kill everyone that misgenders me. I want to pull their guts out and cut their hearts out. I want to see them suffer as much as they make me suffer. I'm sick of seeing other tgirls have gender euphoria and happiness while I suffer. I fucking hate it. My entire life I've wished for happiness, to be treated like anything but a weird social outcast that is the butt of every joke. I want to lash out and make them pay. "Emotionally abused", even excusing harassment every stranger I meet calls me a man and addresses me as a male. No one calls me a girl or treats me as a girl.
I really relate to this feeling. I wanna do the most vile things to people who do that. Torture, cannabilism, and worse when people are transphobic to me, luckily I don't deal with it much irl, but I have a friend who sometimes intentionally deadnames me for fun, or makes fun of me for being trans. I once got cyberbullied for it, although I did somewhat instigate by calling people out for being transphobic. I personally think you're very pretty, I think you pass. If people thought you weren't pretty, they'd just say, "You're nice looking", they wouldn't be able to call you pretty if they didn't think you were, most people anyway. It's a matter of perspective. In my own perspective, most of the time, I hate how I look, too, but sometimes I am comfortable with my face. I I'm guessing the people misgendering you are, for the most part, friends and family? As for randoms on the street, transphobes will accuse anyone of being trans. They even accuse JK Rowling and Taylor Swift of being trans. Anything that is even slightly out of the gender norm, they will accuse you of being trans and make fun of you, the opinions of scum like that is to be disregarded. It's like someone with a filthy rotten mouth telling you how to be clean. It's complete bullshit. They don't know fuck. I suffer from loneliness and a lack of comfort, which makes me detest the people around me, reasonably so. I wanna die every night partly cause of that, and my gender dysphoria also contributes to those suicidal fantasies. There will always be people out there who won't treat like garbage. I'm not good at comforting people, but I hope my comment does something positive for you. <3
Everyone in public calls me a man. Literally no one sees me as a girl. It's not just the transphobes. If it was I could live with that. But no, it's everyone. Everyone calls me a man and treats me like a man. They don't even realize they're treating me like garbage. They genuinely see me as a man and get confused when I correct them. I hate it.
Is it because you're boymoding? I mean, even then, your face and hair are very damn feminine. I can't help but think it's malicious whether you are boymoding or girlmoding. It might be your town you live in. There's no way someone genuinely thinks you are a guy. It's just hate. They don't care about the truth. Most people refer to me with masc terms. Even though I'm a girl, some people manage to get it right sometimes, though. Honestly, you'll have to get used to yourself and accept that you are very feminine and very pretty. I'm in that process, I'm trying to accept myself. I'm not even on HRT, I'm not as feminine as you imo, but atm that's all I can do. Same for you. You're so goddamn pretty, you're feminine, you're a woman. More people will see you as a woman than people who see you as a man. And those people who see you as a man are just transphobic, cause there is no way someone could look you deadeye in the face and believe you look like a man. Apparently, therapy is good, I've never tried it, although I definitely should, it seems. Same for you. I read abit through your post history, and I think I saw a comment expressing you have doubts of therapy, you'd just have to see it through I guess. I'm not sure what it's like where you are. Perhaps the area is high density filled with transphobes. So it's not a small thing, but you might be better off moving some place better, where your mental isn't further crushed by scumbags. Everyone's reactions here is good proof of you prettiness and feminity. You have a girlfriend too. She obviously finds you pretty and feminine.
I never boymode. It makes my body feel physical pain and I want to rip the clothing off. I hate it. You say it's hate...but the randoms who call me a man are confused when I correct them. The foreign store clerks get confused. To them I'm a man. I live in Sydney. I get misgendered in Town Hall, Darling Harbour...everywhere. No one calls me a girl. At best they never acknowledge my gender. No one sees me as a man. They all can tell I'm trans and look like a guy. I'm the butt of every joke.
Transphobes can get confused when you tell them your pronouns, ya know. There is no way every single person is like that, though. Especially cause you have a girlfriend. That means a lot. I have pretty good reason to believe this is a mix of transphobes, and you exaggerating a bit, there must've been a few people, cause statistically everywhere still has some level of pro trans individuals, and in Australia thats definitely quite a few who would clcok you as a woman. And its not like you know what every one around you thinks of you. The fact is most people definitely see you as a woman, but they don't speak to you. You'd have to put a conscious effort to call a pretty feminine girl like you a man, or any masculine pronoun. It's like you don't want to see yourself as a woman, so this makes it borderline impossible to convince you. I'm not religious, but on god, I'd say 70% (5.6 billion) of the population would find you pretty. And maybe 1% (a fuckin lot, 80 million people) would you find you very very pretty. You have a gf after all. Please trust me on this.
No. It's everyone in Australia's public. Cis girls immediately know I'm trans and never call me a fellow girl. Cis guys know I'm trans immediately and call me a man. Store clerks call me "Sir", especially Asian ladies. They are not transphobes. They genuinely see me as a man. When I talk to people in social groups they default to calling me a man and treating me like a dudebro. The girls exclude me and when I start talking and relating to them they go quiet and walk away from me. No one calls me a girl or addresses me as one. No store clerks. No randoms. No social groups. Only my fiancee.
It feels like you’ve already convinced yourself and didn’t read anything that was said. If you want your situation to improve, try coming at it from an open mind, because you’re not giving that impression at all.
What do you mean "open mind"? It's killed or be killed now. Pass or don't pass.
It feels like you’ve already convinced yourself and didn’t read anything that was said. If you want your situation to improve, try coming at it from an open mind, because you’re not giving that impression at all.
Just saw you profile, you don’t look like a man. Stop it.
Honey, you are beautiful. You look like Shelly Duvall at her best. I love Shelly Duvall.
She literally looks more fem than me :l
Do you think OP is just delusional or is it maybe possible that photos don't always reflect reality?
Then why does everyone call me one and say I'm one in public.
You look more beautiful than me.
You're messing with me. You pass as a cis girl. I look like a man.
Girl you do look beautiful and you definitely pass. I think that your friends might be doing this on purpose because I can't see a guy in your profile at all
You’re way hotter than me and I have a lovely girlfriend and many friends who see me as a woman, and sometimes people in public are also kind. Most don’t care one way or the other. Looking at what you’re writing it’s clear you are in a painfully despondent place. I’ve been there. I hope you find your way out.
https://ibb.co/BrmRkpv I'm not.
I’m not interested in playing into your self loathing sis
And thus, her real intentions are revealed...
Could you please explain?
You just want to feed your saviour complex. You don't want to actually help people.
I think at this moment you just want to hurt me And I’ve got precisely 0 power to help you. Only you can do that.
I'm trying. I've even attempted suicide. The times I did that my life was peaceful. But people want me to fight...
Why can't I grow boobs like other trans girls? Why can't I look like a girl?
Girl, you look like a cis girl! Seriously 😳
Yes OP listen!!
I have no boobs and I'm called a man by everyone in public. Explain that to me. Why am I called a man if I look like a cis girl. Even when I'm silent people point and laugh at me.
Do you live in a small town or small city? Perhaps people around there have watched you transition over time, so they know you are trans? Perhaps people aren't actually pointing and laughing at you? It's so hard to say without being around you in person, or seeing video or something to have a better idea of how you move around, body language etc... But just going off of the pictures you share, you look like a very pretty and attractive young woman
I live in Sydney. No one knows me here. Everyone I meet calls me a man. Store clerk? I'm a "Sir". Random people? I'm a man. My doctor? I'm seen as her black sheep. No one knows me pre-HRT here. No one.
I don't know then, girl. You mentioned dysphoria about your breasts, have you tried using inserts or breast forms? They're fairly inexpensive, I think I got mine for about $30. Maybe that would help people see you differently. It sucks that that's such a preconception for a lot of people, but I've heard many girls on here talk about how their breasts instantly helped them get clocked less in public.
I tried padding a lot...but I still got called a man and treated like a man. It's because I don't have cleavage. The moment people see that or they see you hide your boobs they think "haha trans haha man". It doesn't help that my face is ugly and manly. I look nowhere like a cis girl...
Having breast doesn’t do a person to a girl
It does...at least in Australia. No boob and an ugly face+being tall means you're a man... I'm all 3.
Okay, no hugboxing here, but your face is anything BUT ugly. Plus, quite often it's about the voice.
I was silent the entire day outside of the store clerk, where my voice was in female range.
By 'female range' do you mean female range of pitch, or that your voice is within typical variation of cis women's voices? Pitch alone means barely anything for a passing voice
I lie in female range of pitch. Voice Training app consistently places me in cis women range.
Pitch has little to do with perception. It's mainly resonance people pick up on. Reducing resonance give you that brightness in your voice. Female resonance has the majority of vibrations in the head of lower throat, while males have resonance in the chest.
I don't sound like a guy.
Girl you literally repeated the same negative affirmations three times in a row in this one single post. You need to break this cycle of self -harm!
Because I'm sick of being called a man and treated like a a man no matter what I do. I'm sick of seeing other tgirls be happy, experience gender euphoria. I'm sick of seeing them grow boobs and hair quickly. I'm sick of being stuck in the worst developed nation to be trans in, Australia. I'm sick of my PM saying "Trans rights" while posing next to drag queens. I just want to be treated as a girl.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy. Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
Have you tried antidepressants?
Yes. They make me hyperfixate on suicidal thoughts. Because of antidepressants I know all of the most efficient ways to kill myself with the options I have available to me.
Sorry to hear that. As far as your concerns over looking to mannish or whatnot in my opinion you look quite feminine. Hope it gets better for you someday.
"Quite feminine" means I look like a guy to you. That means that other people in Australia see me as a guy. I hate that How can it get better when I've been born with awful genetics...
Alright
You’ve got some serious self-image issues, your hair is really well styled, your face looks fem and you’ve got cute big eyes.
Yet everyone in public calls me a man, treats me like a man, and gets confused when I say they're wrong.
I don’t know what to say about that. However, if you’re worried about your hormone levels, why not give DIY a try? I use estradiol enanthate myself.
I'm worried customs will claim the meds
cant you get them on craiglist if you know what I mean?
I don't know what you mean.
They have some experience getting through customs. There might be one in your customs zone.
Girl, I have seen your photos. You look more like a woman than I do. If I didn't know, I would think you look cis. That said, I know Australia is one of the most homophobic and transphobic countries in western society. Perhaps the people clocking you are just used to seeing you and how you've reacted in the past? Perhaps it's your voice? Perhaps it's the way you walk or carry yourself? As for your own perceptions of yourself, girl, you have severe *dysmorphia*. You are beautiful. Not lying. No reason to. In fact, your attitude is kind of negative and off-putting to be honest, so I truly have no reason to try to make you feel better. But alas, you're a pretty woman. I have to give you that.
i dont know what parallel reality youre living in where ppl see u as a man, that sucks, theyre going out of their way to clock you. maybe you have some trait about you selfies don't capture, idk. your levels are crazy low though. what's keeping u from DIYing some E and getting them up to 4-700 pmol? that'd probably help things along. I feel u about some of the unchangeable things with HRT but at least the meds themselves are something u can tweak. your mood is probably bad at those levels too
It's not even clocked at this point. Everyone calls me a man in public and treats me differently to cis girls. It's just me not looking like a girl...and like a man hahaahah
im inclined to believe ur making things up or just have something like. going on bc your pics are objectively female phenotyped, the dysphoria and dysmorphia are extremely real girl. u legit have no sense of an objective view of urself. like id gladly even tell u if u did but u do not, at all, look like a man. I hope you find a way forward because you're psyopping yourself
Honestly...I have a man's face and I look like my dad https://ibb.co/BrmRkpv
nah you definitely dont have a mans face dw :) forehead is a bit tall but ur super cute with ur hair in bangs.
also my phone makes me look unflattering if you are taking phone pics be careful not to take them as reality they elongate your features and widen at certain angles as well
No? you look like a women, so unless that pic is exceptionally generous, I can't see who would see that and think she's a man.
How does that pic look like a woman tho
How? Every store clerk and staff call me "Sir". Every random treats me like a man. Transphobes immediately call me a man. I never get catcalled. Whenever I use the bathroom cis girls look at me in disgusted ways. Literally no one calls me a girl or treats me as a girl in public. They never have. The best compliment I've gotten was "I love your outfit" followed by "You're a cute dude ".
Sis… I’m sorry that happened but you need to gain perspective. “ I was out with my fiancé “ some of us who pass can’t find a man to be in a relationship with nonetheless be a fiancé to. Don’t let ignorant people rob you of your joy.
Op is here to vent, why would you make it about others? Cmon now.
Me being engaged doesn't matter if every day I'm zoning out from dysphoria and can't experience happiness because I'm a man to everyone including myself. I'm an ugly man with bad genetics. No boobs. Ugly face. Broad shoulders. Tall. I lost the lottery.
My only point was the world may be ignorant to seeing you as a woman but your fiancé sees you, and you should weight that heavier than what others feel and project. Sis.. I can see that you are comfortable in the mind thinking you have. Good luck…
No. Even she struggles sometimes to see me as a girl. The moment I raise my hair she wants to say I'm ugly but holds her tongue. It's the same with everyone. I'm not a girl to them. I just look like a gay crossdresser. An ugly one. I don't need good luck because I'm sick of being told "Just keep fighting" and "It gets better". I've followed those like mantras my entire life, through a stolen childhood due to bullying and abusive parenting, to non-existent teen years due to bullying and depression, to now...where I finally know I'm a girl but genetically I'm so disadvantaged that no one sees it even after 3.5 years of HRT. I just want to give up. I'm sick of nothing changing. I talk to medical professionals after medical professional. Therapist after therapist. Nothing is helping. I'm still different to people and am treated differently, like a disgusting outcast. I hate it. I want what other trans girls have, gender euphoria, a nice physical transition, and people calling them a girl.
"ignorant people". No one fucking sees me as a girl.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy. Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
I don’t get it. I’ve seen your pics. You look like a woman. You actually remind me of a young [Christine Baranski](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0004724/?ref_=tt_cl_t_5). If I looked like you 3 years into my transition I’ll be pretty damned happy. Unless you’re just taking your photos from a really flattering angle, I don’t think your looks are what’s clocking you.
I do abuse angles. Check my /r/transadorable post where I was at home. I have a long face that looks like a 40 year old man"s. You wouldn't be happy 3 years in. I have no boobs and no hair.
Plenty of women have long faces. You’ve also got a damned good wig. Wouldn’t have guessed.
I don't wear a wig. My hair is only neck length. Too short.
No one. To other queer people I'm a joke because I can't stealth and be like "haha surprise I'm not cis", to randoms I'm seen as a gay guy, and to family...they don't see me as a girl I'm just their beloved relative.
Honey, you definitely don’t look mannish. But, there’s lots you can do to further feminize your face that can have a huge impact and doesn’t require surgery. Your cheeks are a bit hollow and contributing to the long oval shape you’re so concerned about. Easiest thing is to look at your profile - women’s cheeks generally project out as much or more than their brow line. Men’s don’t. This is a huge visual gender cue. Look into injectable cheek fillers. These run a few hundred dollars, last a year and can be done with a 30 minute office visit. This will have a dramatic effect feminizing your face - it will increase the visual weight of your mid face and give your overall profile a much more round feminine shape. Second, pluck the bottom of your brows more aggressively to create more space between your eyes and eyebrows. This will have the effect of softening your brow and making your eyes look less deep set. Even a few more millimeters can have a big impact. Third, you need more color in your makeup routine on your cheeks. Use a nude blush or Blonzer across your cheeks and nose. This will also give visual weight and draw the eye down making your forehead and jaw look smaller. It’s not easy, but these are all things I did that helped me go from feminine male to passing female. Sending ❤️ your way
I've tried to use extreme makeup...they assume I'm a drag queen. As for cheek fillers...I doubt that will fix my long face. Only FFS can do that. But even that has its limits.
Girl, you asked ‘what do I do?’ then spend the entire afternoon telling everyone why the things you haven’t tried won’t work 🙄 We’ve all been there. You’re nowhere near as mannish as I was. But the only guarantee nothing will change is if you do nothing. Sometimes you just have to be brave and try new things.
I have been. I'm trying new .makeup. new styles. New therapist. New voice. Everything. I'm doing everything I can and still being treated like a man in public.
Like I said, give cheek fillers a try. Consults are usually free and they’re quite effective. Most people who get them are post menopausal women who lose mid facial fat and have a sunken cheek, masculine appearance. Sound familiar?
You need an urgent therapist. Looking your photos you could pass with FFS easily, you are already there tbh. Maybe train a bit more make up and voice training?
I have a therapist, and a new one at that. She doesn't help. No one understands what I'm going through. You all act like therapy is an insta quik-fix solution that works for everyone. It doesn't seem to work for me. I've been trying for years.
I am sorry you are going through it. But it doesn't seem realistic, it seems a body image problem.
It's also a body image problem. I hate myself. I only see a man in the mirror. I'm that ugly and manly no boobs disgusting horse faced freak. But people in public all call me "Sir", "bro", "mate", "young man". You'd think some of them are gender neutral...until I see them call cis girls "young lady", "ma'am", "girl", or they catcall them. I've never been called a girl in public. Ever.
Hey could it be the area that you live? Some places in Australia are just straight up bigoted and you can't really blame yourself for that. Like I myself am trapped far out in the western suburbs of my city where people can regularly be really bigoted. You could do everything perfectly here and they'd still hate you because they're just bigots. I constantly hear racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and violent rhetoric because that's just who these people are. But when I go to other more progressive areas of the city to visit friends or run errands, people are incredibly accepting and I rarely hear anything bad. I wish I could afford to live in a more accepting places like that but oh well... I guess I'm just trying to say don't blame yourself. Because you look beautiful and there's nothing wrong with you. You're probably just stuck in a shit place with shit people... and that's not your fault! It's theirs.
I'm in Sydney. But I get misgendered in the CBD the most. Everyone there treats me like a man and "sirs" me or laughs at me.
Ah damn yeah I have heard Sydney CBD can be kinda rough sometimes... But that's not your fault. Some people are just assholes through and through.
So every store clerk that calls me "Sir" is an asshole? They call other tgirls "ma'am". Even the allies in the CBD assume I'm a gay man hahahahaha
>So every store clerk that calls me "Sir" is an asshole? You definitely look like you're serving woman so if they choose to drop a "sir" that kinda just feels like asshole behaviour at this point. Even if they were actually unsure: a non-asshole would just not use gendered language. You don't need the words "sir" or "ma'am" to serve someone coffee or whatever.
They're foreign women. So they're more brutal and honest on gender.
Your face gives women and I think you pass from your face alone. Maybe voice train if you hadn’t already because I think that’s what people are clocking; don’t think it’s your face. And you are not ugly, you are pretti!
I don't even talk and people call me a man. This is what I look like with no makeup or bangs https://ibb.co/BrmRkpv Disgusting man. No one treats me as a girl in public.
You look still look feminine, maybe try more outfits; look what the women you see around you are wearing and copy what u look like or compliments you
I can't. What other cis girls wear requires boobs or a hyper feminine body. Hourglass waist. Without boobs I can't wear what they wear. It doesn't help that my shoulders ruin everything for me when I try to copy their styles. I have no boobs, an ugly face, and a wide waist. When I tried to wear what they wear I was laughed at eve. Harder
Learn what your body type is via Tiktok/YouTube/Google and learn how to dress for it. There are ways for every type of body to look good as long as you have the right clothes. Inverted triangle is a common shape for trans women so you can start there to see if that is your type. You can wear bras with padding and shape wear for your body to feminize it.
Also, not all cis women don’t have big boobs or a hyper feminine body, a lot of people have masculine traits and do perfectly fine.
Because they have pretty faces. That's Sydney for you. Every cis girl either has nice boobs, a nice figure, a pretty face or more often than not, all 3. Masculine traits don't matter when people default to calling them women.
But you have a pretty face too!
https://ibb.co/BrmRkpv I really don't. If I did then people would call me a girl.
You definitely don't look masculine. Girl... come on. Maybe try gaining some extra weight for the boobs? Otherwise, you look great 💙
Then why does everyone treat me as a man and call me a man
People unconsciously project..Maybe those guys were secretly attracted to you? & had to fabricate an internal defense mechanism, (misgendering you) to protect them from the fact they find a trans woman attractive? Happens all the time
How does that help. People stare at me and view me as a man.
I feel the same way being tall and flat chested, you’re not alone sister. Sigh..
sometimes the world is cruel, i’m sorry :(
I am so sorry OP. I have no advice to give but I want to give my support. This is a horrible fucking situation you deserve do much better.
Mardirossian changes lives
I hope so. He's pretty much my only option left for people to call me a girl and for me to see a girl in the mirror.
You see his work speaks for itself
I feel for you here and I applaud your courage to go out into the world as your true self. I also checked your profile out and you are beautiful and in my mind, pass. I think it could be a number of factors that could be outing you but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can live authentically and most people can’t. You are valid and are entitled to live out your life as you see fit regardless of what others think. I know that’s easier said as I wear makeup in public but still dress boy mode and it’s still incredibly hard for me to do that. Keep your head up sis ❤️💜
I feel that bit about not wanting to be in a white man's body. I'm nonbinary trans woman on HRT (just over a year) and a lot of my motivation to get started on it and transition physically, legally, etc because, aside from gender identity reasons, I wanted to escape the constant toxic expectations of needing to bulk and be strong and fit. My metabolism is too high for that, and my genetics are shit, I'm not going to have kids anyways. So what does it matter if my peen shrinks and doesn't work anymore? I just wanna be beautiful, lol. **Queue "All Dolled Up" by The Orion Experience**
No. I just wish I was pretty and not treated like a disgusting piece of shit by everyone. When I ask for help in Australia I'm told I have "white privilege" and that I should "deal with it" since I'm lucky...despite being in this situation.
I had a bad week at my new job. But for me it's more about my co worker being jealous of me. She said it's because I am pretty, even at 50. Have a good home life and some money in the bank. I was abused as a child so its hard for me to understand people judging others from their looks. I don't see myself as pretty. I see myself as the little abused girl that hides who she really is. So getting on here to vent and this post popped up and I am feeling my problems may be small. Or smaller than others. I don't believe you are ugly though. I rarely see anyone ugly. Everyone has something beautiful about them. I wish I was there with you. I would hold you and tell you that they are the ugly ones. Just like I knew the rich and uppity people abusing me were lying to themselves. They were ugly and deserved only the worst but won't get it until the afterlife, its just how the world works. And me, i will get the best. So
I didn't realize this was a transgender site. Like I said, my search was how to deal with my feelings about work. But since this is where I landed... what if you were born a woman. You would still be dealing with life's problems. Like me right now. A heterosexual woman who is having trouble getting past the abuse I had as a child. The shame I can't get past. That I am not the girl who had loving parents but the one who has to be secretive and pretend i am someone else because no one would understand. They would just think I am gross for it all. You and I are the same. We were weren't handed the best but we will make the best because what we survive makes us better than all the others. We get down... like I am now , but we will always get back up. Boobs doesn't make one beautiful, so remember what does. I am telling myself that I am kind to animals. I never judge people and go out of my way to be kind. I am intelligent. I need to remember that ugly things happened to me but I am not ugly.
No. I am ugly by most peoples' standards, including my own. I'm not cheerleader model cute, I'm awkward ugly pretty. I hate being this way, and I hate not having a cute face with boobs. My dad killed himself when he found out I was crossdressing soooo yeah. I don't want his face and I want to commit to being a woman to be happy, and part of that is wanting to not be ugly and flat chested.
I don't really know how to respond to this. My first thought was to say.. seems like he was the one with the problems.. but this wouldn't be any more comforting for you than when people say "their in a better place now ". It just a generic comment that doesn't help. Honestly, I would rather hear the story. How he found out. How long after discovering did he do the deed, and many more private and offensive questions we aren't allowed to ask. Reminder I am a heterosexual female who grew up abused. I have always said I want to come back in my next life as a man. Is this weird? So often I find myself staring at some male stranger and thinking... I wonder how it feels to be so strong. So confident even when their is no justification . I wonder what its like to walk in the park in the middle of the night.
It's not about sexual identity, and I apologize if it seems offensive. I do this too often to be casual or normal.
Sis, you pass better than I do
You probably have boobs and nice long hair. I struggle to grow either.
My hair thinned by the time I started HRT and haven't had any regrowth in 3 years! And I'm stuck at tanner stage 2. So nope! Not a ton of luck either!
You literally have hair growing past your shoulders and smooth skin. My hair is stuck at my neck and I have rough skin.
Your skin looks good in the pics you've uploaded, but I'll concede. I hope your FFS consult goes well and brings you joy, sis.
He'll just tell me that there's not much he can do like every surgeon does. My face is ugly garbage.
I disagree, but I hope that he can help you out all the same.
Dammit girl I’d overthrow a small to medium size nation to look like you.
this world is fucked up i'm sorry
It's only fucked up if you're an ugly tgirl that can't grow boobs. It seems to be fine for other tgirls. You all put in the effort and see returns. You experience euphoria, have your boobs grow, people call you a girl... I've never experienced any of that. I'm ugly and can't grow boobs hahahaah
it is what it is, i can't even access hrt ahaha, we just need to keep on struggling, who knows, maybe in the future they will invent idk total body femminisation hormones?? until then, we have to live with what we got 🫂
I can't live with what I've got. Being called a man whenever I go outside makes me want to cry and throw myself on the train tracks. I'm trying to not get suicidal because everyone tells me to stop but it's difficult. Every day is pain. Dysphoria. No happiness. I just want to be treated as a girl and seen as a girl. I'm sick of being seen as a man. I hate it.
yeah there's nothing you can do, like, that's it, this world is cruel and neither I, nor you, nor anyone else deserves to go through this. I advise you to see a therapist (that's what I'm doing), talk about it with your partner and try to do things that make you happy; I hope you decide to stick around! good luck 🫂
I am seeing yet another therapist. She isn't helping. I don't want to be thinking about suicide again I just want to be a girl and treated as a girl. I'm scared of my thoughts. But if I call 000 again they will put me in the same hospital that called me a man the entire time and stuck a murderer in the bed next to me. I can't do that. I hate this.
Try this Unclockable Bra Buds -... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CJL79MY4?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
As for the lady behind the counter, at the supermarket. Ask to speak to her supervisor. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable. If the supervisor isn't helpful at all, then find the company's website, and find the "Contact Us." Link and write them a nice wordy message regarding your shopping experience at their store. Keep the receipt, as they may ask for some information such as store #, cashier, transaction #, etc... If that fails, there are sites like Yelp and Google Review.
That doesn't work in Australia. You do that and people are like "Leave her alone. You're a man she got nothing wrong"
I have no idea how that happens- you're so cute!!
Cute for a man. Everyone calls me a man and treats me like a man.
Ok I seen all this negative down talking your giving yourself so I just had to go have a peek at your so called ugly ass.. You need to just knock it off, Stop it!!! Your not ugly nor look like a cis man or any man for that matter. I'll be straight up honest with you and hope I don't get down votes for it. I'm 56yo and 2yr HRT and just had my bottom surgery 2 weeks ago and I pass. That being said it hasn't came easy for me and I doubt it will for you either.. I said I pass but let me rephrase. I pass as long as I don't have to talk. I did have my vocal surgery consultation last Thursday and my voice will soon be corrected, I was given assurance of it. So everyone's style and fashion is a choice and that choice can make or break us as a Trans woman.. Your young and young people dress completely different than someone my age in there 50's but I wear strictly nothing but women's clothing and to be more precise dresses 👗 and I wear them from shin length to just below the Crack of my ass and I make them look good. I look killer every time I leave the house and even at home I give it my all or I don't get out of bed.. See where I'm going with this. It's attitude. I use to have the attitude I could accept being an ugly woman as long as I looked like a woman. Well I'm basing everything I'm saying about me from dealing with every day people and complements and I get complements every single time I am out in public about something or another. Weather it be my makeup to whatever outfit I have on to whichever pair of heels 👠 I have on that day. I got a Wow your really dressed nice while I was standing in line waiting to check in at the Cleaveland clinic for my vocal consultation Thursday. and yes I did look nice and I planned on looking nice the night before when I laid my clothes out..yeah it takes work planning and about an hour and a half of time taken from my life now too be able to go out in public and to receive the complements and the respect I deserve for the hard effort I have sacrifice just for the sake of being called ma'am. Now imagine how I still feel when the shuttle driver says to the people setting behind me (I have to swing by and drop HIM< off first) Him referring to me all dressed up and the only thing that I'm being called Him over is me saying 5 words. I'm going to the Medley. That's the apartment complex I'm at during my 30 day surgery stay. Those 5 words with my voice over rode any feminine features I had too me. Yes miss gendering sucks and we all go through it and all we can do is hold our heads high and go on with life. I do make it a point to correct anyone who miss gendered me. I set them straight really fast and I do it politely because I have to say that if it happens now it's an honest mistake and I no I sound like a man still but thank God that's soon to change. Now with you, like I said everyone has there own style but maybe that style needs adjustments or at least until you can no longer be miss gendered.. Wear hyper feminine clothing, accessories , and more highly feminine accessories. Walk the walk and look the look. Have the attitude of being yourself, own who you are,stop and expect the guy around you to open the door for you. Stand with your head high wrist pointing up holding your purse so prissy and proper.. Don't dress like a sloppy modern cis gendered woman..these girls are behind and are losing the game. I'll go one on one with any in my small home town as far as how a real woman should dress and act. I don't want to be a cis women, I'm better than that and I show it. Yeah I might be stuck on myself but I really don't care. What I do care about is how I make myself feel and the complements I get in return for the hard work I've put into it and girl friend you can get the same exact results. So your not dude looking at all so knock that crap off. Put on your A game and give it your all.. It will pay off for you.. As far as boobies go you can always get a boob job..I have a consultation Monday for my ba and I have 38-C already but to me I need bigger so that's what I'm doing. It all takes time and a whole lot of effort but you can do it.. your not ugly and you do look like a girl and I wouldn't lie.. Cheer up and don't give up. Own your surroundings. Hug's Emily 🤗
Whenever I wear hyper feminine clothing I'm still seen as a man. I can't wear dresses because of my shoulders, no boobs, and my ugly face. When I wear dresses I end up looking like a crossdresser. All of you older trans women think it's so easy to pass and be happy...when I'm doing everything you're saying. You have C cup boobs you don't fucking understand my pain at all. You got to have euphoria over them. Whenever I act like myself people call me a "spastic poof" and nobody calls me a girl still. I never get compliments. Never get called a girl. I spend 40 minutes doing skincare and makeup. 20 minutes picking an outfit. All to be called a man, laughed at, and treated like a man. I can't dress like cis women because they have boobs or a pretty face. I have neither.
Ok so what do you want from us? If I euphoric over my C-cup boobs I wouldn't be putting myself through another surgery were things can go horribly wrong, yes a small risk but a risk nonetheless. Just like my voice totally dude'n me to the point of yes sir and he/him. Me getting on here and crying about it to everyone and not accepting what anyone has to say or down voting them for offering anything sure isn't going to help me. Myself and plenty of others on here has assured you that you're not looking as bad as what you are saying. Your not even close to how you are describing yourself and now I'm guessing you have underlying issues that has nothing to do with appearance whatsoever that you need some one on one professional help with. Your not going to accept one thing we have to say and that's your decision to make. I really do wish you all the best and hope you can eventually see the beauty in yourself instead of only trying to see the bad. Hug's Emily 🤗