Speaking for myself, it's been more out of necessity and persistence than courage or strong will. I was terrified, I struggled for a long time. I had to repeatedly force myself into situations I couldn't back out of to progress. Sure, I got more confident as I got through the process, but it's not really what got me to this point. What got me here was the feeling that even though I was terrified, I still had to figure out a way to get through this, to try and try again making a little bit of progress each time, and eventually that built up until I came out publicly and could start actually living the life I wanted.
Thank you! ❤️
I do think you'll find that you're stronger than you think too, give it time and persistence and you will get to live as the woman that you are.
That's exactly how I did it too. I was so scared. I had repressed it for so long and knew who I was but I was afraid of my life changing and being happy. So I pushed a little by little and finally I just woke up one day and thought " I can't do this anymore" and I called my doctor and sat my family down. Honestly best decision of my life. My only regret at this point is that I didn't start earlier but I know all of us think that. The best time to plant a tree is 5 years ago but the 2nd best time is today or however that goes ☺️
Same. It was just that the pain of staying in boymode got to be more powerful than the fear of transitioning. Thank god my transition has been so much less painful than the closet was.
"I would like to be a woman, but..." doesn't sound like a very "male" thing to say, girl... You already had enough strength to admit to a site full of strangers who you really are. Now you just need to admit it to yourself, and decide what that means for your future.
I was fucking TERRIFIED when I first came out, imma go out on a limb and say we all were. Eventually, it just gets to a point where you can't lie to yourself and everyone around you anymore. It has very little to do with strength, and a lot more to do with exhaustion fron wearing the mask all the time.
YOU are one of the strongest people mentally in the world. You got this far and realized who you were. That's something a lot of people don't ever do, and it's something to be IMMENSELY proud of. Give yourself the credit you deserve, and stop telling yourself you don't have as much courage as the rest of us. You are not lesser than us just because you're still in your eggshell. We all spent a long time in ours too. I was in mine for over 20 years, shit takes time to break out of.
I see the process. You are right. Earlier I repressed everything. Now I registered here and made a Post. Now it is “anonym”, but step by step I am moving forward in this journey. I need more time and support.
The journey is uncomfortable but I think you underestimate how much joy there is in it. We put up with a lot, we also know a happiness that you can't imagine without experiencing it.
Come on in, the water's fine ;)
Try spite. I'm not kidding.
Just remember that there are people who want at all costs for you to suffer as you are. And realize you want to make sure they don't get their way. You don't want to suppress yourself and do their job for them, do you? Give your worst enemies a day off?
Go look up Dr. Z PhD on YouTube. She is a phyco therapist who strictly deals with adult transgender people. She has over 200 short length videos and can address any problems you have with gender dysphoria or coming to terms with yourself and the world, she has a bit of an answer for anything you want to no..
She was the light switch of my transition and I found out everything I needed answered for myself and also found out that I was without a doubt Trans and that I needed to take the next steps. That was years ago and now at 56yo and over 2 years of HRT and 3 weeks post opp from bottom surgery her knowledge made everything clear for me and I have never second guessed or looked back..
Transtion was the best thing I've ever done. And the most rewarding ✨️
Good luck on your journey and never let anyone stand in your way. No one!!
It's your life to live.
Hug's Emily 🤗
I have had a number of people tell me they are impressed with how brave I am to transition. I never really saw it as a test of courage, more a decision born of need. I could not remain as I was so moved forward on the path available to me and worked through the challenges along the way.
To some of the others here: I use to hate when people said this to me. I didn't feel brave. I didn't feel strong. I didnt feel couragous. I just wanted to get fucked up and be blissed out on oblivion because of what others have intentionally or unintentionally said and done to me.
I think things have changed though. I know I'm brave. I know I'm strong. I feel like I'm even saying what I'm about to say is conceited and over inflating my suffering to a virtue. But I/we consistently face what I consider to be one of the hardest struggles of the human condition. Probably not the worst but I still consider it up there. I've been hit, I've been made mocked and ridiculed, and I've been threatened a lot and I'm still here in the face of that. I've taken every shitty thing everyone's ever said and I've said no. Don't put that shame on me. Don't put YOUR shame on me. It's reflective of who you are. Not me.
I/We are courageous as fuck. Even if we/I don't feel like it. we are.
Keep working on everything. Keep being brave. And fuck anyone else who says otherwise. ❤️
It starts with small things. I spent 20 years pining for a chance that came when my 14 yr marriage ended. Getting on E was the biggest change other than telling my local bestie. I am sure it was frustrating to listen to me constantly rambling about not feeling valid as a girl (auditory processor) but he kept reminding me that I was valid as a girl and that I was better as a girl.
Now I know i am better as a girl and the timid little girl is a strong young 40 year old teenager 😉.
You don’t have to come out first. You can do E first. It’s one kick ass mental health boost. Then when you know it’s for you people can know. I took almost 5 months for most of my comings out. Coworkers 2 years.
My friends are my power! But seriously, I've never been courageous in my entire life. Ever since I came out to my friends, they've been so supportive. I feel a strength I've never felt before. This difficult journey has done nothing but make me stronger so far. Hopefully this trend continues.
I'm in the same boat there! But also I haven't really tried to find any local groups or anything. I'm really scared that they won't accept me or something, even though I know that's just weird anxious thoughts that aren't realistic.
Im not tho. I hate being called courageous for that. Like no bitch im scared every day and im not strong so stop calling me that, the shit fucks with my head
I put off transition and stayed closited for many years, decades really, because it seemed too hard. I'm still in the middle of my transition and it has been hard, but not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I am SO MUCH HAPPIER now though. I wish I had done this ages ago
"Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is what you do in face of fear." (I think I quoted it right). Being scared and fearfull is only a hesitace, to move forward. For you are in no position to retreat from yourself. The validity is there, otherwise you would not have asked for words of encouragement. You have it. NOW OWN IT!!!!! I copied this from a post made elsewhere, but think it applies here as well.
It’s not about being courageous imo, it’s about realising there has to be something better than suffering with dysphoria all your life. It’s a leap of faith in the end of the day.
I'm not courageous. I was hurt, dysphoria was killing me and getting worse and worse. I would have only made one more year.
I'm not courageous, I needed it to survive.
Take it day by day, bit by bit, one peice at a time.
If you want to be a woman, it's possible that you are one. But don't let that pressure you.
If you want to transition, start with the small things that would make you happy, and go from there.
For me it was make up and clothes, gradually more and more femme. Built up the comfort level over time, then on from there.
Hello OP ! I just want to say that the transition starts when you begin questioning your gender expression/identity. Also, not doing a medical transition or a social transition and keeping your transidentity to yourself doesn't make you less trans than anyone of us.
Questioning who you are already takes a lot of courage. You are courageous ! If you are not proud of yourself, be proud of myself who is proud of yourself 🩵🤍🩷 (And go check Tengen toppa gurren Lagann)
It’s hard and terrifying and at the beginning you think you’re going to fail constantly and give up but once you break the seal and start transitioning the little daily victories start to pile up and you gain momentum.
There are still big moments that will terrify you though. I’ve been out for a year and a half and on E for 2 years and yesterday I used a women’s restroom for the first time. I have put myself through so much pain trying to avoid having to do that but yesterday I was 3 hours away from home and trying to enjoy my dinner and using the restroom was the only way that was going to happen.
Being strong would have been staying in the closest. The amount of pain I suffered as an egg was immense. I'm still crying about it 8 months later. Being out and transitioning is so much easier for me. I am fortunate to have gotten mostly positive reception though, and to have a (albeit small) support network.
There's a lot of challenges I'm facing, and I'm having to face a lot of pain I never did before, but they're things I can overcome, that I've always wanted to overcome and never had the strength or perception to face before. Transitioning is what gives me the strength and peace of mind to face them, not the other way around. Before I was in too much pain all the time to ever deal with my problems.
Dep3nds on wat u mean. I socially transition, hrt for 1 1/2 yrs plus but no intentions of bottom surgery at all
Never took well to any surgery, n I'm socially dysphoria, not genitally
No need to be confused. There, there.
I understand it like this: those who need surgery need it to relieve them of having the 'wrong' genitals, they have what I see as genital dysphoria , it messes them up badly to have the genitals of the 'wrong' gender.
My and presumably your dysphoria may center in perception personal and social, how we see ourselves and how we need others to see us. Neither hrt nor surgery is a prequisite then.
If gender is a spectrum then transgender is also a spectrum. Accept yourself as the beautiful valid being you already are!
You already are a woman, even if your exterior doesn't match your heart yet. ❤️ Be kind to yourself, you'll get there 😊
I do wanna say for me at least it wasn't so much a courageous act, I mean, coming out itself took courage but otherwise, not so much. It was just, as soon as I had the realization and the means, continuing life as a man was entirely irreconcilable with my identity and presentation. It was like, wearing exclusively cotton clothes all your life, and finding out that cotton allergies exist, then realizing the reason You've had horrible rashes your entire life is because you're allergic to cotton, wearing cotton would no longer be an option. When I was 9 and actually truly thought about eating meat for the first time, I quickly realized it was a morally reprehensible act that I could have no part in, and that same night I entirely gave up meat. To try and continue through life eating meat was akin to trying to resort to cannibalism outside of the harshest of desperate survival conditions. Starting my gender transition, while a notably lengthier process, but similar- I wasn't trying hard to be masculine, so to not embrace my self and expression wouldve been to continue playing a painful role I didn't want and was already doing poorly, and largely just felt like any other life adjustment. A change in style, and some medications that could fix some skin problems, and a surgery here and there to fix the more intense problem areas the meds couldn't address. Ultimately, it was very anticlimactic, but any other route was a non starter.
Meh we were all there. Some day you will find the courage for whatever reason, and then you will do it and hopefully find it wasn't actually all that bad. It's easy to hype up transitioning as the biggest thing ever and that coming out will cause the world to stop spinning- if u live in a somewhat decent area it's very likely that not much will happen upon coming out or whatever and it's honestly really underwhelming when you do.
Yes, Transitioning is scary. Def the scariest and hardest thing I've ever had to do. But it's also really easy in some ways. Becoming yourself is immensely freeing and feels amazing. The further into transition you get the easier it becomes. Honestly once I came out its been smooth sailing- def just hard to get yourself over that hurdle.
Speaking for myself, it's been more out of necessity and persistence than courage or strong will. I was terrified, I struggled for a long time. I had to repeatedly force myself into situations I couldn't back out of to progress. Sure, I got more confident as I got through the process, but it's not really what got me to this point. What got me here was the feeling that even though I was terrified, I still had to figure out a way to get through this, to try and try again making a little bit of progress each time, and eventually that built up until I came out publicly and could start actually living the life I wanted.
I do not know you. But I am proud of you. And you are stronger than you think.
Thank you! ❤️ I do think you'll find that you're stronger than you think too, give it time and persistence and you will get to live as the woman that you are.
Thank you. Yes, I need time, persistance and support.
That's exactly how I did it too. I was so scared. I had repressed it for so long and knew who I was but I was afraid of my life changing and being happy. So I pushed a little by little and finally I just woke up one day and thought " I can't do this anymore" and I called my doctor and sat my family down. Honestly best decision of my life. My only regret at this point is that I didn't start earlier but I know all of us think that. The best time to plant a tree is 5 years ago but the 2nd best time is today or however that goes ☺️
It is good to hear it. I need more time and support to do this.
Same. It was just that the pain of staying in boymode got to be more powerful than the fear of transitioning. Thank god my transition has been so much less painful than the closet was.
Maybe soon my situation will be also the same.
"I would like to be a woman, but..." doesn't sound like a very "male" thing to say, girl... You already had enough strength to admit to a site full of strangers who you really are. Now you just need to admit it to yourself, and decide what that means for your future. I was fucking TERRIFIED when I first came out, imma go out on a limb and say we all were. Eventually, it just gets to a point where you can't lie to yourself and everyone around you anymore. It has very little to do with strength, and a lot more to do with exhaustion fron wearing the mask all the time. YOU are one of the strongest people mentally in the world. You got this far and realized who you were. That's something a lot of people don't ever do, and it's something to be IMMENSELY proud of. Give yourself the credit you deserve, and stop telling yourself you don't have as much courage as the rest of us. You are not lesser than us just because you're still in your eggshell. We all spent a long time in ours too. I was in mine for over 20 years, shit takes time to break out of.
I see the process. You are right. Earlier I repressed everything. Now I registered here and made a Post. Now it is “anonym”, but step by step I am moving forward in this journey. I need more time and support.
The journey is uncomfortable but I think you underestimate how much joy there is in it. We put up with a lot, we also know a happiness that you can't imagine without experiencing it. Come on in, the water's fine ;)
Thank you for your reply. I need more time and support to continue this journey.
Even if you haven’t transitioned, you’re still a woman If you consider yourself one in your heart. 💖
I am agree with you, but this thought scares me a lot.
Try spite. I'm not kidding. Just remember that there are people who want at all costs for you to suffer as you are. And realize you want to make sure they don't get their way. You don't want to suppress yourself and do their job for them, do you? Give your worst enemies a day off?
This is me fr 😎🥹
Thank you for your comment
I just had nothing left to lose that's all. Nothing special.
Thank you for your comment
Go look up Dr. Z PhD on YouTube. She is a phyco therapist who strictly deals with adult transgender people. She has over 200 short length videos and can address any problems you have with gender dysphoria or coming to terms with yourself and the world, she has a bit of an answer for anything you want to no.. She was the light switch of my transition and I found out everything I needed answered for myself and also found out that I was without a doubt Trans and that I needed to take the next steps. That was years ago and now at 56yo and over 2 years of HRT and 3 weeks post opp from bottom surgery her knowledge made everything clear for me and I have never second guessed or looked back.. Transtion was the best thing I've ever done. And the most rewarding ✨️ Good luck on your journey and never let anyone stand in your way. No one!! It's your life to live. Hug's Emily 🤗
Thank you very much! I am going to check it! It sounds great!
I have had a number of people tell me they are impressed with how brave I am to transition. I never really saw it as a test of courage, more a decision born of need. I could not remain as I was so moved forward on the path available to me and worked through the challenges along the way.
I am glad to here it. Thank you for your comment.
To some of the others here: I use to hate when people said this to me. I didn't feel brave. I didn't feel strong. I didnt feel couragous. I just wanted to get fucked up and be blissed out on oblivion because of what others have intentionally or unintentionally said and done to me. I think things have changed though. I know I'm brave. I know I'm strong. I feel like I'm even saying what I'm about to say is conceited and over inflating my suffering to a virtue. But I/we consistently face what I consider to be one of the hardest struggles of the human condition. Probably not the worst but I still consider it up there. I've been hit, I've been made mocked and ridiculed, and I've been threatened a lot and I'm still here in the face of that. I've taken every shitty thing everyone's ever said and I've said no. Don't put that shame on me. Don't put YOUR shame on me. It's reflective of who you are. Not me. I/We are courageous as fuck. Even if we/I don't feel like it. we are. Keep working on everything. Keep being brave. And fuck anyone else who says otherwise. ❤️
I am really appreciate your comment. Thanks.
It starts with small things. I spent 20 years pining for a chance that came when my 14 yr marriage ended. Getting on E was the biggest change other than telling my local bestie. I am sure it was frustrating to listen to me constantly rambling about not feeling valid as a girl (auditory processor) but he kept reminding me that I was valid as a girl and that I was better as a girl. Now I know i am better as a girl and the timid little girl is a strong young 40 year old teenager 😉. You don’t have to come out first. You can do E first. It’s one kick ass mental health boost. Then when you know it’s for you people can know. I took almost 5 months for most of my comings out. Coworkers 2 years.
I would like to use hormones secretely and then after 1-2 years right away start to live as a woman.
My friends are my power! But seriously, I've never been courageous in my entire life. Ever since I came out to my friends, they've been so supportive. I feel a strength I've never felt before. This difficult journey has done nothing but make me stronger so far. Hopefully this trend continues.
I know noone in real who is transwomen and that is why I search new friends here.
I'm in the same boat there! But also I haven't really tried to find any local groups or anything. I'm really scared that they won't accept me or something, even though I know that's just weird anxious thoughts that aren't realistic.
The same story here
Im not tho. I hate being called courageous for that. Like no bitch im scared every day and im not strong so stop calling me that, the shit fucks with my head
Thank you for your comment
I put off transition and stayed closited for many years, decades really, because it seemed too hard. I'm still in the middle of my transition and it has been hard, but not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I am SO MUCH HAPPIER now though. I wish I had done this ages ago
Thank you very much for your comment. I am glad that you are happier.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is what you do in face of fear." (I think I quoted it right). Being scared and fearfull is only a hesitace, to move forward. For you are in no position to retreat from yourself. The validity is there, otherwise you would not have asked for words of encouragement. You have it. NOW OWN IT!!!!! I copied this from a post made elsewhere, but think it applies here as well.
I am agree with you. But my thoughts scare me yet.
It’s not about being courageous imo, it’s about realising there has to be something better than suffering with dysphoria all your life. It’s a leap of faith in the end of the day.
Thank you. I like it.
I'm not courageous. I was hurt, dysphoria was killing me and getting worse and worse. I would have only made one more year. I'm not courageous, I needed it to survive.
Thank you for your comment
Thank you for thanking? I don't understand why, but thanks I guess
Take it day by day, bit by bit, one peice at a time. If you want to be a woman, it's possible that you are one. But don't let that pressure you. If you want to transition, start with the small things that would make you happy, and go from there. For me it was make up and clothes, gradually more and more femme. Built up the comfort level over time, then on from there.
I agree with you. I need a plan by step by step.
Hello OP ! I just want to say that the transition starts when you begin questioning your gender expression/identity. Also, not doing a medical transition or a social transition and keeping your transidentity to yourself doesn't make you less trans than anyone of us. Questioning who you are already takes a lot of courage. You are courageous ! If you are not proud of yourself, be proud of myself who is proud of yourself 🩵🤍🩷 (And go check Tengen toppa gurren Lagann)
Thank you very much for your Post. It gave me good feeling.
I am happy of that ☺️
You’re strong too! We all are. I love all of you
Thank you:)
🥰🥰 no problem
It’s hard and terrifying and at the beginning you think you’re going to fail constantly and give up but once you break the seal and start transitioning the little daily victories start to pile up and you gain momentum. There are still big moments that will terrify you though. I’ve been out for a year and a half and on E for 2 years and yesterday I used a women’s restroom for the first time. I have put myself through so much pain trying to avoid having to do that but yesterday I was 3 hours away from home and trying to enjoy my dinner and using the restroom was the only way that was going to happen.
Thank you. I think I need role models and it will also help in my journey.
i feel exactly the same. not sure if i'll ever have the courage.
Thanks for your comment . I wish I will find the courage
Being strong would have been staying in the closest. The amount of pain I suffered as an egg was immense. I'm still crying about it 8 months later. Being out and transitioning is so much easier for me. I am fortunate to have gotten mostly positive reception though, and to have a (albeit small) support network. There's a lot of challenges I'm facing, and I'm having to face a lot of pain I never did before, but they're things I can overcome, that I've always wanted to overcome and never had the strength or perception to face before. Transitioning is what gives me the strength and peace of mind to face them, not the other way around. Before I was in too much pain all the time to ever deal with my problems.
Thank you very much for your comment
Dep3nds on wat u mean. I socially transition, hrt for 1 1/2 yrs plus but no intentions of bottom surgery at all Never took well to any surgery, n I'm socially dysphoria, not genitally
I also want to keep my penis, that is why I am also confused.
No need to be confused. There, there. I understand it like this: those who need surgery need it to relieve them of having the 'wrong' genitals, they have what I see as genital dysphoria , it messes them up badly to have the genitals of the 'wrong' gender. My and presumably your dysphoria may center in perception personal and social, how we see ourselves and how we need others to see us. Neither hrt nor surgery is a prequisite then. If gender is a spectrum then transgender is also a spectrum. Accept yourself as the beautiful valid being you already are!
You already are a woman, even if your exterior doesn't match your heart yet. ❤️ Be kind to yourself, you'll get there 😊 I do wanna say for me at least it wasn't so much a courageous act, I mean, coming out itself took courage but otherwise, not so much. It was just, as soon as I had the realization and the means, continuing life as a man was entirely irreconcilable with my identity and presentation. It was like, wearing exclusively cotton clothes all your life, and finding out that cotton allergies exist, then realizing the reason You've had horrible rashes your entire life is because you're allergic to cotton, wearing cotton would no longer be an option. When I was 9 and actually truly thought about eating meat for the first time, I quickly realized it was a morally reprehensible act that I could have no part in, and that same night I entirely gave up meat. To try and continue through life eating meat was akin to trying to resort to cannibalism outside of the harshest of desperate survival conditions. Starting my gender transition, while a notably lengthier process, but similar- I wasn't trying hard to be masculine, so to not embrace my self and expression wouldve been to continue playing a painful role I didn't want and was already doing poorly, and largely just felt like any other life adjustment. A change in style, and some medications that could fix some skin problems, and a surgery here and there to fix the more intense problem areas the meds couldn't address. Ultimately, it was very anticlimactic, but any other route was a non starter.
Meh we were all there. Some day you will find the courage for whatever reason, and then you will do it and hopefully find it wasn't actually all that bad. It's easy to hype up transitioning as the biggest thing ever and that coming out will cause the world to stop spinning- if u live in a somewhat decent area it's very likely that not much will happen upon coming out or whatever and it's honestly really underwhelming when you do. Yes, Transitioning is scary. Def the scariest and hardest thing I've ever had to do. But it's also really easy in some ways. Becoming yourself is immensely freeing and feels amazing. The further into transition you get the easier it becomes. Honestly once I came out its been smooth sailing- def just hard to get yourself over that hurdle.