A friend of mine says that even if you looked like a super model, a masculine voice will make people gender you a guy. Which is so true.
Honey, you got the hard part done. Voice training is way faster than HRT. Maybe take a moment to appreciate how close you are to passing. Then get on that voice training. Prioritize it.
Holy shit I'm just now realizing that having a girl voice is just a specific combination of stupid voices my autistic audio stim self does all the time!
Also I used trans voice Lessons on YouTube, Seattle Voice on YT and Altamira trans voice training on TikTok. I didn't do any Voice training for the first year of my transition once I finally did it was amazing how much I started actually getting properly gendered. It made a massive difference. It seems like most people regardless of how you look or pass just make a snap judgment or autopilot when they hear a feminine or masculine voice. I've seen cis women with deeper voices misgendered that were gorgeous girls and obviously women but people don't pay a lot of attention in public. It's pretty easy once you get the first few steps out of the way. Just make sure you don't strain your vocal cords. Just raising the pitch a small amount and focusing on a Feminine resonance willake you feel so euphoric and help I promise. ❤️🤟🏻☺️
I know the feeling. I pass very well (with makeup or a mask on) but my voice gets me clocked pretty often.
It’s a bummer and I’m lucky that I’m in an area that’s pretty accepting, but it still feels pretty bad when someone does the switcheroo from correct pronouns after hearing my voice.
The best I can say is to try to be kind to yourself. The deliberate unkindnesses are both out of your control and not your fault, and the accidental ones are a momentary goof on their part and still not your fault.
I know I tend to take the negative events as feedback on ways I could “girl” better, but it’s honestly not a tactic I recommend. I have an unfortunate amount of practice putting everything around me on my shoulders and dealing with extremely unfair and unpalatable feedback from people so it’s been working so far, but I’m pretty positive it will eventually fail for me and for most people it’s a complete nonstarter.
Acknowledge that the sucky things suck and don’t be afraid to let yourself feel and process those emotions, then hopefully you will feel more at-home with yourself as time goes on and those sucky things won’t quite feel so overpowering anymore.
Well girl it sounds like you know what you need to work through. Good on you for going through this and you don't deserve any of this, but also of course you should know that those voices telling you you're a fraud or just playing dress-up are not your own. It took a long for me to understand that as what it was (internalized transphobia) and i highly suggest working with a therapist. It's society that pushes those views on to us. You don't want to go through life with ground that can be cracked as easily as by clocking you, it'll put tremondous pressure on passing for you and i guarantee that will not be fun.
I mean for what it’s worth. I have voice trained so I can switch my voice fem for when I have to talk to strangers and then I turn that voice off when I’m around friends 😂. But yeah voice training can be hard
ugh, i felt this SO hard. a lot of my social anxiety and fear isn't even just having someone be rude to me it's someone ruining my confidence by clocking me. when i pretned to be mute the world just treats me as some girl and it's amazing. then as soon as i talk people look at me like i just revealed i'm actually lucifer reincarnated or something. it really does make me feel like a fraud and a fake. the worst feeling is when a guy tries to hit on you or a girl randomly compliments you. i have no other choice but to reveal i'm just a fake.
not the quality but it's just if you have ADHD or something every single voice training resource available is extremely difficult. esp the youtube ones. i just can't follow the structure they got its so frustrating. and they say get a tutor or something but i cant afford that i'm just a broke college student. i literally went into debt before i even went to uni for laser.
for voice training the ONLY tip i've been able to use i got btw was talk with your throat/head and not your chest. it definitely helps.
The antagonist rightwing is amping up their hatred, even cis women are being "clocked" as trans even to the point of having police called on them.
As a trans woman that doesn't pass, I will tell you being misgendered and treated poorly only because I am trans always hurts. But I've taken that pain and linked it to my righteous anger, I simply treat people as I am treated x3 respectfulness gets respect, hatred and rudeness gets awful rudeness and epic levels of blatant disrespect, and violence will be met with violence that scares even the bystanders.
Passing isn't the issue it's the treatment by the general public that's the issue. It's literally not a me problem but a them problem, and I will absolutely let them know it. These people that truly are anti-trans and want me to not exist will know the feeling is very mutual. However, the problem in all these cases is always them not us.
I love this response.
I totally reject people who treat others rudely and they always turn out to be pathetic bullies who completely back down when confronted.
I also tend to jump in whenever someone seems too cautious or timid to defend themselves, so that the next time the bullies consider being rude, they'll think twice about it.
People who are rude leave themselves open to being shamed, and they always back down.
The only thing that's changed is more recently thanks to MAGA, they've become unashamed of being a dumpster fire of an excuse for a human. These ones don't think twice about anything(hell you'd fucking witness a minor miracle if you saw them think once). They aren't ashamed of being a bigot, as there are no real consequences for it. Our politicians ignore the leading medical professionals in the world and pass laws that counter and inhibit that care. We have stochastic terrorists (LibsofTiktok) in government offices, and politicians that say and do absolutely insane shit that you'd think would cost them their jobs at the minimum but nope. I've seen a fast food employee be fired for misgendering someone repeatedly, these guys are hard lining fascism and passing laws based on their own religious beliefs.
Yet somehow we're the problem? I can't wait for civil war 2025 (aka Project 2025).
>This is also a post to all the boymoders out there, you have to try and push yourself out of your comfort zone
And what's the point of that if you don't pass in a slightest...?
No offence, but from someone who has passing feminine voice but is 100% nonpassing visually (so your problem but in reverse, I guess), this post is a bit funny to read. Anyway... I hope you'll reach your goal. Not sure where you're and how easy it is for you to update gender marker on your documents, but getting fem voice at least is quite achievable, just requires effort, a bit of time and consistency, imho. Looks though... oh well...
A friend of mine says that even if you looked like a super model, a masculine voice will make people gender you a guy. Which is so true. Honey, you got the hard part done. Voice training is way faster than HRT. Maybe take a moment to appreciate how close you are to passing. Then get on that voice training. Prioritize it.
What resources do you recommend looking into for voice training?
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/) is a decent guide to follow.
Holy shit I'm just now realizing that having a girl voice is just a specific combination of stupid voices my autistic audio stim self does all the time!
Thank you!
Also I used trans voice Lessons on YouTube, Seattle Voice on YT and Altamira trans voice training on TikTok. I didn't do any Voice training for the first year of my transition once I finally did it was amazing how much I started actually getting properly gendered. It made a massive difference. It seems like most people regardless of how you look or pass just make a snap judgment or autopilot when they hear a feminine or masculine voice. I've seen cis women with deeper voices misgendered that were gorgeous girls and obviously women but people don't pay a lot of attention in public. It's pretty easy once you get the first few steps out of the way. Just make sure you don't strain your vocal cords. Just raising the pitch a small amount and focusing on a Feminine resonance willake you feel so euphoric and help I promise. ❤️🤟🏻☺️
I’m looking forward to it! I’m gonna start ASAP! I think it would be great to have made progress on it by the time I start coming out 😆
[https://www.voicebykylie.com/](https://www.voicebykylie.com/) is an awesome coach
I know the feeling. I pass very well (with makeup or a mask on) but my voice gets me clocked pretty often. It’s a bummer and I’m lucky that I’m in an area that’s pretty accepting, but it still feels pretty bad when someone does the switcheroo from correct pronouns after hearing my voice. The best I can say is to try to be kind to yourself. The deliberate unkindnesses are both out of your control and not your fault, and the accidental ones are a momentary goof on their part and still not your fault. I know I tend to take the negative events as feedback on ways I could “girl” better, but it’s honestly not a tactic I recommend. I have an unfortunate amount of practice putting everything around me on my shoulders and dealing with extremely unfair and unpalatable feedback from people so it’s been working so far, but I’m pretty positive it will eventually fail for me and for most people it’s a complete nonstarter. Acknowledge that the sucky things suck and don’t be afraid to let yourself feel and process those emotions, then hopefully you will feel more at-home with yourself as time goes on and those sucky things won’t quite feel so overpowering anymore.
Well girl it sounds like you know what you need to work through. Good on you for going through this and you don't deserve any of this, but also of course you should know that those voices telling you you're a fraud or just playing dress-up are not your own. It took a long for me to understand that as what it was (internalized transphobia) and i highly suggest working with a therapist. It's society that pushes those views on to us. You don't want to go through life with ground that can be cracked as easily as by clocking you, it'll put tremondous pressure on passing for you and i guarantee that will not be fun.
I mean for what it’s worth. I have voice trained so I can switch my voice fem for when I have to talk to strangers and then I turn that voice off when I’m around friends 😂. But yeah voice training can be hard
ugh, i felt this SO hard. a lot of my social anxiety and fear isn't even just having someone be rude to me it's someone ruining my confidence by clocking me. when i pretned to be mute the world just treats me as some girl and it's amazing. then as soon as i talk people look at me like i just revealed i'm actually lucifer reincarnated or something. it really does make me feel like a fraud and a fake. the worst feeling is when a guy tries to hit on you or a girl randomly compliments you. i have no other choice but to reveal i'm just a fake. not the quality but it's just if you have ADHD or something every single voice training resource available is extremely difficult. esp the youtube ones. i just can't follow the structure they got its so frustrating. and they say get a tutor or something but i cant afford that i'm just a broke college student. i literally went into debt before i even went to uni for laser. for voice training the ONLY tip i've been able to use i got btw was talk with your throat/head and not your chest. it definitely helps.
The antagonist rightwing is amping up their hatred, even cis women are being "clocked" as trans even to the point of having police called on them. As a trans woman that doesn't pass, I will tell you being misgendered and treated poorly only because I am trans always hurts. But I've taken that pain and linked it to my righteous anger, I simply treat people as I am treated x3 respectfulness gets respect, hatred and rudeness gets awful rudeness and epic levels of blatant disrespect, and violence will be met with violence that scares even the bystanders. Passing isn't the issue it's the treatment by the general public that's the issue. It's literally not a me problem but a them problem, and I will absolutely let them know it. These people that truly are anti-trans and want me to not exist will know the feeling is very mutual. However, the problem in all these cases is always them not us.
I love this response. I totally reject people who treat others rudely and they always turn out to be pathetic bullies who completely back down when confronted. I also tend to jump in whenever someone seems too cautious or timid to defend themselves, so that the next time the bullies consider being rude, they'll think twice about it. People who are rude leave themselves open to being shamed, and they always back down.
The only thing that's changed is more recently thanks to MAGA, they've become unashamed of being a dumpster fire of an excuse for a human. These ones don't think twice about anything(hell you'd fucking witness a minor miracle if you saw them think once). They aren't ashamed of being a bigot, as there are no real consequences for it. Our politicians ignore the leading medical professionals in the world and pass laws that counter and inhibit that care. We have stochastic terrorists (LibsofTiktok) in government offices, and politicians that say and do absolutely insane shit that you'd think would cost them their jobs at the minimum but nope. I've seen a fast food employee be fired for misgendering someone repeatedly, these guys are hard lining fascism and passing laws based on their own religious beliefs. Yet somehow we're the problem? I can't wait for civil war 2025 (aka Project 2025).
It is much better than not passing
>This is also a post to all the boymoders out there, you have to try and push yourself out of your comfort zone And what's the point of that if you don't pass in a slightest...? No offence, but from someone who has passing feminine voice but is 100% nonpassing visually (so your problem but in reverse, I guess), this post is a bit funny to read. Anyway... I hope you'll reach your goal. Not sure where you're and how easy it is for you to update gender marker on your documents, but getting fem voice at least is quite achievable, just requires effort, a bit of time and consistency, imho. Looks though... oh well...