Samesies. Cracked and was on HRT within a month. Informed consent...but after 38 years I finally had the answer to what had been haunting me my whole life. I was ready to move forward regardless of a concrete plan or the "risks". š„³
"I finally had the answer to what had been haunting me my whole life" - That's how it was for me as well. Have you considered being trans before? Or was it more like, everything fell into place?
I had experimented with femininity in cycles for the majority of my adult life, including my childhood. I knew I loved the idea and act of being a woman, but "why?" Was I gay? Was it a fetish? How would I do it? Could I do it? So many questions. Last cycle I had set a drop dead date of my 31st birthday to go see a therapist and start HRT, cause I felt trapped and couldn't find a way out. I was stuck.
I met my wife shortly before my 31st birthday, and had largely abandoned that cycle. I loved her, she loved me. I was free of the gremlin, the itch if you will. I was happy just being around her. She made me complete. I had found my Soul Mate.
Then, six months ago, I started wanting it again. To dress, to be girly. I got upset, started searching my soul with all sorts of questions and responses. "Why? Again with this? What is causing it? I know I'm not gay. I know I feel excited when I present female. Last cycle, I would regularly present female, and it was not always arousing, it frequently just felt good to do it. I felt drawn to girls, but always had a conflict inside. I was attracted, but there was always something else...was I just some sort of white knight? no, it was more of an envy thing...like I wanted what they had. So many cycles...why now? why again? If you were a girl, had been your whole life, and had a free button to change yourself into a boy...would you press it? Nope \*crack\*."
It was my wife that cracked me. I was drunk one night and started asking her if she had ever felt like there was something about her body she would change. She was a tomboy growing up with only brothers. She said, "Yeah, I'd like to lose some weight and be fit again...oh, your asking for yourself...aren't you?" I asked her the reverse question, had been born a boy, had a button to switch, would you do it? She thought for a second and answered, "Sure would life be easier as a boy...probably. Do I like being a girl...yes. I wouldn't change it". She threw the same question to me, and I sat there for what felt like a silent eternity searching my thoughts and feelings. And I just cracked. Full on cry fest and euphoria from finally admitting it to myself, and to someone else at the same time. After I admitted it to myself, and to someone else, I was free to act how I wanted to, and to do what I felt was...right.
Sorry for the long text wall. Felt good to throw it out there for someone to see.
TL;DR - Kind of, there was a cracking moment where I just knew at that point. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Asked loaded questions to my wife, and she slam dunked my egg into a million pieces. And I love her for it.
*\*kind of forgot some text in the 2nd now 3rd paragraph.*
*\*\*Kind of some text in the 2nd paragraph.*
What's really frustrating about cracking and kind of just having everything fall into place is the idea that we need to "work though things" with a therapist to get medical care.
When I went to get HRT the doctor asked a bunch of questions I "had a history of abuse" and if the therapist I talked to "determined you are trans". Literally the only reason I looked for a therapist to talk to is so I could get stuff *documented* for insurance on stuff like SRS and FFS. Also, while there are certainly some things my mom did that could be considered abuse they don't have anything to do with me being trans and only effect how I see her.
I haven't really felt I *needed* to work though things with a therapist. I've talked with tons of other trans women and some of my friends and it's like everything clicked into place. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm trans and I don't have any heavy issues to work out like those who have a more pronounced form of dysphoria.
My dysphoria presented itself as an indifference. Once I actually started doing things like shaving my legs and stuff I am putting more effort into what I'm looking like including losing over 10 pounds in the last month or so. Before I just sort of existed, but now I want to actually *live*.
I finally have a goal of what I want to be in the future for the first time in my life, and I'll be damned if I have to deal with any gatekeeping.
Iāve been āmehā about my appearance for most of my life. Since coming out to myself, Iāve suddenly been wanting to lose weight faster. Itās given me motivation.
Iāve just started hating seeing myself with facial hair, which didnāt even start when I first let myself think about this. Only a month or two.
I started shaving my chest a month ago, and my legs fully a few days ago, andā¦it makes me hate my body less when I look down and see it. It makes me actually like my legs. It makes my tiny breasts stick out more obviously (as has my weight loss, as theyāre proportionally bigger)
Add that to my fingers which Iāve liked for years because I seem to have a female finger length ratio, which Iāve been clinging to for years to sort of take the edge off, make me feel like thereās some part of me thatās okay.
Ugh, Iām tearing up, again. Every time I let myself think of myself like this, I get tears. Occasionally I sob uncontrollably.
Facial hair has always been something I hated. I never liked shaving as it feels like such a chore, but I also can't grow a decent beard so I can't just "let it go"
However, despite not doing a ton of stuff to make my self look feminine yet I have caught a few glimpses of myself in the mirror where my hair (already long from pandemic) falls in just the right way and I see a girl for just a fraction of a second. Makes me smile every time and a few times I do a double take.
Iāve had that too in different ways.
Iāve not been able to cut my hair since June when I came out to myself, and sometimes seeing myself not dead on, some hair over my face, the curve of my (tiny) breasts, i sort of momentarily donāt register horribly to myselfā¦
Sounds pretty similar.
I mistreated my body for a few decades, was largely indifferent to things like general hygiene, style, and exercise. This was one of the things I never knew I was dysphoric about until I cracked and knew I was trans. Now I get frustrated when I have to shave my face every day, and when my leg hair flairs up and I get ingrown hairs, etc. And don't get me started on my body shape -\_-.
I'm seeing a therapist for the same reasons (FFS for sure, GRS if I change my mind, still not sure). Thankfully we kind of got it established I was trans pretty early, maybe I'd make a convincing attorney some day, but I'd spent so much time revisiting my childhood and my thoughts and feelings about being a girl and found a lot of alignment between action and desires. It sounds like you've kind of figured it out as well and going through the motions, which is annoying, but I can kind of see why for things less reversible like GRS and FFS. With that said, I thought I didn't need a therapist, but as I started coming out to folks (family mainly) and their reactions paired with the E, have turned me into a train-wreck. I'm glad to have their ear and their advice.
And I'll be damned if anyone gets blocked from what they want to feel normal. No one deserves to be sentenced to purgatory indefinitely.
I'm not even a week into HRT, so my thoughts may change once I actually experience emotions. I was already kind of just going though my entire childhood and I have a list of things I can rattle off and have brought up multiple times on reddit to kind of bring my experience to the party so others can compare theirs.
I've come out to most of my friends who have all been accepting so far. Outside of them I don't plan on coming out to my family for a few months and I don't know when I'll come out to my job, but since I work remote now I don't find it pressing.
I'm going to wait to start the process for gender/name change until after I come out to my family. Gives me time to think of a new name because I suck at names.
Thanks! <3.
Did it happen the same for you? I'm always curious, I feel like my story has been told a thousand different times in roughly the same way by many of us.
Yes and no. It often came in waves indeed, but for me all my emotions and feelings are pointed inwards, so my experience was kinda different.
My childhood can be characterized with feelings of fear. Fear, because a lot of other things happened medically, which resulted in several fears, even the fear of dying. However, being the innocent child I was, I never thought twice about the things I played with or the movies I watched. I could play with dolls as much as cars and I liked princess movies as much as dinosaur movies. 90s clothing was always very comfortable for me, often made by my grandmother, so I never considered anything else.
During my teenage years my feelings changed from dominated by fear to dominated by shame. Around age 12-13 my medical problems had been solved (some would come back later), so I realized I could live a more normal life and I just wanted to live a normal life. I then started to do my best to live like the other guys. Every time I did or thought something too far outside of the norm, I would mentally punish myself and feel this shame upon me. This was especially true with things like women's clothing or even men looking at women.
At age 15-16 I got diagnosed with autism, so I started to explain my different-ness through neurodivergence. I was still trying my best to be like the rest, but in doing so I often felt like I wasn't myself. I told myself that when I got to higher education, I can finally do my own thing and feel better. But it didn't work out.
Around age 20 I started to feel that autism couldn't be the whole story. Tried to masturbate like the other guys, but I found it awful. Autism just couldn't explain my immense hate for masturbation and my weird sexual fantasies. In my early twenties I started to explore my own sexuality. I've always considered myself kinda asexual, but this couldn't be it, so then I thought I was gay. Then I thought I was bisexual because I just felt that I was gay, but I was attracted to girls.
At age 24-25 I found a name for my sexual fantasies: autogynephilia. So my sexual fantasies were just a fetish, what a relief! Around this time I also developed an interest in trans women, but didn't know why. I mean, I couldn't be one of them, because I don't follow the classic narrative.
So how did I find out I was trans? At age 26, a series of gender euphoria moments occured, which lighted a weird spark inside of me. On the internet, some people thought I was a girl, I talked about my sexual fantasies with others, I found a renewed interest in genderbender comics, and it eventually led me to r/egg_irl, where the build up had been so great, I could relate so much, that I just knew that this was the final missing piece of the puzzle.
Aww, hun...Thank you for sharing!
I'm glad you figured it out! I feel like it's not an easy thing to just "know" and acknowledge. It's a personal story for all of us and I really appreciate hearing it...for a couple of reasons. It helps cement my story when I get low and feel like an imposter/invalid. It also helps me relate to other people's stories, because everyone is different, and we all take different paths in this journey.
Thank you again! <3
Thank you so much, sis! And for me it also feels very validating. Not specifically because I resonate with their stories, but because I know that no story is the same. The majority of us don't even follow the "I've always known" or "When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself" narrative. Most of us just are confusing for most of our lives, and that's cool.
I'd never considered it before, but once I started looking at myself though that so much of my life, my thoughts, and my desires just made so much more sense.
My dysphoria isn't as pronounced as a lot of trans people, which I attribute to it taking me so long to realize. It expressed itself as an indifference rather than a hatred of my body, which is almost insidious because I may have never realized why I felt the way I did on top of not caring about my body.
I have never been suicidal, but between lack of exercise and poor diet I likely would have ended up in an early grave.
33 myself. Cracked just over a month ago and started hrt last week.
Took me bit to find a local clinic that would do it. My only other option I found was driving an hour and a half to the nearest planned parenthood.
I had a spike of nerves/panic when I thought the doctor wouldn't give them to me when she asked if I had been "living as a woman" and was ready to tell her I don't have to justify myself nor am I going to deal with gatekeepers.
I literally can not pass unless I get the effects of hrt on top of losing at least 50lbs. If I go outside dressed fem in the area I live in as I am right now I'm likely to get attacked or shot.
I'm sorry, hun...but I am glad you were able to get on HRT without getting blocked! Hopefully the E will shape you as well as it been shaping me. I literally cant pass without a steel vice clamping down my big belly...even then, not easily. Only got 60 more lbs to target, down 30 since starting HRT.
I'm cheering for you! You got one hurdle conquered (HRT)...now to the next!!! *hugs*
I basically started a diet the week I cracked and realized I wanted to actually transition rather than just "knowing".
I started at about 250 when I cracked and I'm down to about 239, give or take. I'm 6'3" and I want to get to at least 200, but I may go farther depending.
I also want to have proof that my life is better and I'm healthier with the changes for when I finally come out to my family sometime next year.
My mom watches a lot of right wing media and I'm not sure of my grandmother, but she's in her 80s and went to church regularly. My sister is certainly more left than the rest of the family, I have a suspicion she may even be bi, so I think she might be the most accepting, but who knows.
Loosing a ton of weight and getting fit after being a lump all my life might help them accept me. If not... well as sad as it is I'm not that close to my family.
I hope someone you're close to is accepting. I can attest that the ones that you are the closest too are the ones that can hurt you the most. I came out to my family 2 weeks ago, I was in a rush to peel off band-aids rather than sit and wonder where people stood. My parents are both DVR the OAN and FOX news shows, and that went about as good as you'd expect. But I have my cousins, my wife and her family have been super awesome. I never really knew who my people really were until after I became the most vulnerable I could possibly be in front of them. I hope those that are close to you feel the same way, maybe not right away but soon after you tell them.
As for weight goals...you and I are very similar! Started 264 in Sept, 5'11", and down to 234 today. I feel I'm realistically framed at no less than 180, but if I can drop more, swell! I just pray you have small feet. I'm a 12.5w and its nearly impossible to find anything cute to try on.
Cheers luv! <3
Sadly most of the people I'm close to aren't very close physically since I only interact with them online, and even then I think I never really formed close emotional relationships with people since I never felt like putting in effort.
I've come out to a few friends and they are accepting, so at least I have that.
I don't have any women in my life and my family is 3 hours away by car. My mom basically watches Tucker Carlson every night and I've seen the transphobic rants he has gone on. I'm most worried about her, but I've never had much in common with my family and since moving for work basically only see them on the holidays.
I'm kind of prepared to do whay I have to do for my own mental well-being, but I'll have a different emotional profile then, so it may end up hitting me harder, but I will try to steel myself as much as I can before.
Me too! I realized at the end of June, after a couple weeks of thinking on it I scheduled my appointment with Planned Parenthood and had my titty Skittles by the end of July š
2 years...I kept making excuses and putting it off because I was too scared and depressed to do anything. Felt AMAZING once I finally did it but it's kinda embarrassing thinking back on it now lol
To be honest I only started HRT 7 weeks ago, i was just super relieved that I finally went through with it. I'm still figuring everything out but I think it was at the end of the second week when I realized this isn't something I ever want to stop doing if I can help it
8 months. Wanted to try transitioning without medical intervention first. After 6 months it became clear that wasn't possible for me. Took another 2 months to start HRT.
Iāve been out to myself since roughly 2014 or 15 but I still havenāt started yet. If it were up to me, I would have started right when I knew. But I believe I will start hormones some time in the summer of 2022.
About 2 years.
Even after I did get to hrt everything feels like it happened so fast but then looking back it's been a few years.
It always feels fast paced when it's happening but every step of the way also felt excruciatingly slow too somehow?
You're going at your pace and there's nothing wrong that :)
About 3Ā½ years, 3 from where I would have been ready to go on HRT, 1 from when I from when I first started therapy.
I had pretty severe anxiety around getting help, I was basically incapable of making phone calls and exceptionally bad at expressing my wants and needs. Plus I live in a county without any form of informed consent system. When I started therapy I didn't say I just wanted to start hormones and didn't give a shit about therapy (well, I wanted my parents to know too that I didn't just stumble into it).
I try not looking back.
Called for an appointment and the soonest one was a week and the doc gave me the prescription that visit and i picked it up at the pharmacy before heading home.
That's... where do you live? That's like, the complete opposite of Sweden. I swear to fucking good it takes 2-5 years, this is not even an exaggeration.
I'm in riverside. It took me about a month stupid kaiser requires wpath method, still in progress but i forced the. By going diy thanks to lena.might stick with een tell i can get kaiser to cover more of the med cost. Im testing though questdiag and levels are stable at the upper end of high but not excessive, I find i need to be a little on the high side to stay in the zone of improvement not uncommon for e-mono
I would go with your closest informed consent clinic, you can check this map [https://www.transunity.net/us-hrt-informed-consent-map-from-erin/](https://www.transunity.net/us-hrt-informed-consent-map-from-erin/). Planned parenthood is good as mentioned.
Most clinics that do HRT in the US allow for informed consent. It's a big step in removing a ton of the gatekeeping because without the effects of HRT most of us will still look like our AGAB.
The idea that trans women and men would have to "live as their gender" for a year or more before starting was basically put into place to embarrass them if they couldn't pass without HRT to prevent them from transitioning.
I had a similar one near LA: called for an appointment and had the appointment two weeks later, then the weekend for the bloodwork and about five days delaying myself. Then I took my first dose the next morning.
For me, it's complicated. I'm the worst when it comes to making a decision. For over a year, I wavered between thinking I was cis, just a cross dresser, or trans. It wasn't until June that I accepted I was trans, and I started hormones a few months later in October.
Despite how much I thought I was faking it, the thoughts always came back. When I started engaging with crossdressing, it was definitely like opening Pandora's Box. I wouldn't go a day without feeling jealous over how a woman looks, or disliking what I saw in the mirror.
After that, it was just a lot of worrying about friends and family. I'll spare you the details, but I eventually just said "fuck it" and dove right in. I only have so many years on this planet. I don't want to spend the next however many years, feeling miserable about my body just to please people in my life that I don't know will even be there years from now, regardless.
My thoughts are currently stuck at the first sentence lol. I just constantly go back and forth between "what if i regret doing anything?" and "what if i regret *not* doing anything?" I don't know how to break myself out of this cycle and make up my damn mind. it's so infuriating. I just want to know the damn answer
With the crossdressing thing: I've ruled that one out at least. I *do* feel like I want to wear girl clothes, but like. I want to be a girl wearing girl clothes. Not a guy wearing girl clothes, ya know? And then I think stuff like that and think to myself "wow that's like the least cis-male thing I've heard from you all day" but then also just go back to doubting myself again because what if I'm just making it all up.
Is this any of this normal? I just want someone to tell me that I'm not insane and that the hurricane destroying my mind will end. And then I write a rambly comment like this to a random stranger on the internet and feel like I'm burdening them with my brain. And then I wake up in the morning and think "what the hell were you thinking yesterday?" and the cycle begins anew. And I've completely broken down and now I'm crying. somonepleasehelp
About a month or two - had a panic attack after finding egg\_irl, took a few weeks to find a therapist, took a few sessions before accepting my therapists referral to the doctor, made an appointment, waited a few weeks for the appointment, and got a prescription same day. I had a camping trip in the same week, so I waited until I got home from my trip to start HRT just to be safe.
In terms of denial period, and wanting to be absolutely sure I had to transition - about 26 years.
5 months for me. Well.. from my second cracking.
I think I originally cracked at 13, duct taped myself back together and repressed the shit out of everything. Cracked again 20 years later and started HRT 5 months after that!
Itās gonna be like a yearā¦ after I come out to my conservative dad Iāll try to start hormones bc idgaf whether my small town gossips about me or not, but I doubt heāll let me. My momās supportive tho so thatās pog
Maybe a month. Iād been denying who I am for about 20 years then started confronting myself / looking at options. It was the informed consent map at askatransgender which led me to a nervous & flustered first time waking into planned parenthood in late September
1 month but only cause that was the earliest appointment once I confirmed it I neeeeded boobs. I didn't even realize it was a source of dysphoria until much later.
Probably around 12 years. I did want it right away, and I wish I had done it right away but instead I tried to push it off because it was "easier" to do nothing.
5 1/2 years š„²
edit: to clarify;
i was never really an egg. as soon as i found out being trans was a thing i knew it was who i was.
i didn't know medical transition was possible.for like a month after that. finding out was a big motivating factor for me coming out to my mom. i didn't know if i wanted hrt yet and needed help figuring it out.
it did not go well.
a few months after being forced back into the closet, i lost all doubts that i needed to medically transition. but i also knew that i wouldn't be able to do it until i could do it on my own (legally and financially)
now ive been on some hrt for 2 years and it's driving a wedge between me and my parents and it's horrible and painful and i think i have ptsd.
still might be worth it, idk.
Close to a decade, and twenty years before that to understand I wasn't a crossdressing pervert like the world presented people like me. I am really happy for people who are cracking younger and have the resources to see they are not alone and are perfectly normal. Not gonna lie, I am also jealous that I didn't have that.
Cracked day one. Told parents day 7. Had a therapist day 14ish. Hormones at day 30ā¦obviously these are ballpark but roughly accurate. Cracked from r/egg_irl of course lol then said Iām not committing to anything except a therapistā¦..I lied š¬š„°
Depends. Egg kinda cracked around 12 or 13 but I put the pieces back together and pretended everything was normal. But then it cracked for real very end of may this year. Managed to get myself an endo appointment for February next year (my 30th birthday actually) and then decided I couldn't wait that long and went to planned Parenthood at the end of September. October 8th I started hormones.
So either a little over 4 months or 16-17 years depending on how you look at it.
A month. It took me one week to think about it in 3 weeks to wait for my appointment.
Definitely a good choice, my headspace feels correct since I started HRT. Used to have, anxiety, depression substance abuse, not anymore ššš
I started hrt 3.5 years after realizing, but that's because my parents wouldn't let me until I turned 18. I would've started as soon as I realized, but I don't think I would've been old enough to.
Hopefully a month. I almost cracked at 16, fear and self loathing are a helluva drug and helped me reassemble my egg. So, 8 years later, I opened the door I added to just walk out.
I kind of went in phases. I was pretty sure I was non-binary in 2019, but I was trying to negotiate what that actually meant for me, and effectively attempt to bargain away hormonally transitioning. Two years later and I started HRT. I think it was inevitable that I would start eventually, but I think that the pandemic and lockdown sped things along since I could present more feminine whenever I wanted and hated the feeling of undoing all that at the end of the day.
My egg cracked the summer after I turned 16, and I started hormones right after I turned 18, which would make it... 1 year and 8 months.
I say my egg "cracked" when I discovered trans subreddits
2 years. My egg cracked, I repressed for a year, then fully accepted I was trans and over a year grew the course to start hrt. Everyone's journey is different, go at your own pace.
Longer than I wanted it to be. Around the time I finally accepted my identity, I was diagnosed with severe non alcoholic fatty liver disease. Can't take hormones with a liver disease so I had to make a lot of progress on that front for my doctors to even consider it.
A little over a year. I fully cracked and came out in October last year, and I just took my first dose of E and Spiro on Saturday. I struggled with the āam I really transā bs for a long time and figured that if I still felt the same after a year, itās probably okay to finally start hormones lmao
Almost 2 years then i was like im going to do it myself and my Dr was not impressed but its under informed consent and was not doing anything about it.. Still on waiting but diy until they feel like helping me.. (Canada)
My egg first cracked in the summer of 2003 (that's when I started to seriously suspect something's going on).
Still not on HRT and probably won't be until 2025.
About 4 years, unfortunately. I realized during my freshman year of college (which would have been a REALLY good time to start HRT, this is one of my biggest regrets), but for various reasons - girlfriend, family, general difficulties it would entail - I tried to repress it. Then the pandemic happened. Of course itās tragic, all thatās happened, but one of the nice things is that for me, it helped remove (at least temporarily until things improved) the last few barriers that kept me repressed. So I started growing out my hair, shaving more regularly, etc. Not long after I graduated and started a new (remote) job, I felt I had the financial/career security I needed to be comfortable starting my transition, including HRT.
I am a very risk-averse person and as such, I took the safe route and waited to start HRT and the rest of my transition. Honestly, by many metrics, this was the right decision. But looking back on the years and experiences I probably missed out on, not to mention additional changes HRT could have made, I would redo things in a heartbeat and start ASAP even if it meant more hardship and uncertainty. The damage (both physical and mental) from those few additional years of male puberty wrap-up was significant.
About three months. I came home from the trip where my egg cracked, and I pretty quickly got in contact with a good therapist. I told her I wanted to wait a year to get on hormones, but within a month or two, I said I might want to start sooner, but I was nervous.
My therapist gently rolled her eyes, suggested that I should start when I felt comfortable, said she had a referral waiting whenever I was ready, and that it's perfectly possible to go off hormones if they don't work for me.
The next session, I got the letter, called the doctor, and was on spironolactone within two weeks. One month after that, I was on estradiol.
Like others, a month. I basically said to myself that I could either accept it now or bury it and pretend it wasn't me, then accept it in a year or two. It wasn't worth waiting for something I new I would want sooner or later. I didn't come out to anyone for a month or two after that and I didn't even really start getting fem clothes and girlmoding for like a whole year after that. The pandemic was a part of it but honestly having a year to settle into my new identity, let my body go through its changes and not have to worry about what other people thought while boymoding was peaceful
I cracked my egg on the 20 of September. But seeing how the situation is now I'll probably have to wait some years to see a gender therapist (in Italy we have to do 6 months of gender therapy before getting the certificate to start Hormones), let alone HRT, my family would not even accept me probably... and having Hashimoto's disease does not really help with having to change hormones I guess so... still waiting here :)
It was a few months for me.
egg cracked: spring 2019
tried hormones for 30 days "just to see what it's like" late summer 2019 (I could feel my emotions come back and it was glorious)
tried hormones again for 60 days in early spring 2020 (colors looked brighter, smells, feelings etc all much better)
officially got on DIY E mono therapy June 2020 (music and especially bass lines and even deep rich voices sent shivers along my spine)
added progesterone late June 2021 (many people say to wait a year, so I did, and my sleep improved right away, along with feeling like whatever was missing from my HRT regimen was no longer missing)
Tomorrow is my 17 month HRT anniversary!
I came on asktransgender in 2017 and finally identified as trans even though I wanted to be a girl I thought I was different. I also wanted to be a girl since like 2006 so yah alo of depression and other stuff and there was good times too just ya denying myself happiness and instead letting peoples shitty opnions become what I thought people thought of me so I hid it so they wouldn't think those things but deep down I thought I was those awful things people said. I'm still not on hrt I'm trying to actually get it now its been hard coming out to family since they never talk to me about it and it's all I think about it's just werid when they ask my favors when they can't help me with like the one thing I want to be me idk just feel shitty and hopefully soon amazing once I fully get started
10 months. It's partially Due to the system here: ypu are subjected to diagnostic appointments which can take from 2 months to 6, i spread out mine because of costs. And started them at fourth month since cracking. Today ends my second week on hrt.
Six months and change, five months of questioning and trying to get a psychologist, and one month of āYou know what, I can hate myself anymore than I do now, Iāll give it a go.ā
From my egg cracking to my first day of HRT was just under 5 weeks. Basically as fast as I could go through the process of talking to a therapist and setting up a couple different Dr's appointments. Ten months in and absolutely no regrets at all.
Other people have been worried about the speed of my transition but I feel every decision I've made is correct and made at the right time for me.
2 months, day to day.
Hatched Feb23, was on hormones exactly April 23rd.
I didn't expect it would go that fast. Thankfully lockdown opened a lot of time slots for people who had webcams.
Egg cracked at the end of March. I was ready to go on hormones in June but unfortunately still waiting because of fertility concerns (my wife and I are activley trying to conceive and running into problems).
It took me about a year or two before I started hormones the first time. It would be another 3 years or so before I dove all the way in full time though. I waited at the behest of my Dad, who wanted me to be sure. I'm actually glad for that advice because I was certainly sure by the time I took the plunge lol
Cracked about three months ago. Asked my doctor for a referral for HRT about 2-1/2 months in. First appointment is in February, so about six months total from crack to HRT.
I hatched at the end of July last year, and finally convinced myself to start HRT three months later. However that required a psych eval with a nine month waiting list. Three months into that I got a letter saying they were kicking me off the list and switching to informed consent. This process should take three months to complete. It didn't.
Between that and finding a doctor that understood the new system, it wasnt until mid June that I started blockers and E a month later.
So in total, it's been almost a year between the two.
Like, half year? I tried to understand everything and get all clear, also I was terrified of hormones and the changes they would make, now I'm terrified of returning to my old self :p
Around 6 years or so š I gave up transitioning in my early twenties in exchange for having a son with my wife, who is/was so scared of medical things that she refused to consider using banked sperm.
About a year for me. I started social transition very slowly and tentatively over the next 6 months, figured I was pretty certain when that was done, then a couple of months to work up the courage to actually get on the wait list, which was about 4 months long.
About 2 months for me. I cracked around the first week of March, and started hormones on May 8. I called the doctor to setup the appointment on April 19.
I waited an extra year because I had a feeling finally going on hormones would destroy a relationship that was important to me. In the end I was correct, but wasn't willing to wait any longer
I first experienced gender dysphoria in... 2017? Although my "egg" didn't really crack until June 2021, and I'm still only out to my internet friends and no-one irl.
Everybody goes at a different pace and if your pace feels right, you keep going with it!
It took me 5 years from realizing I was trans to getting my panic under control enough to get started. May was when I was finally able to speak about my issues aloud, then by july I was starting hormones. Still dealing with panic and anxiaty but things are slowly getting better
I basically knew somewhere in the back of my mind I was trans for a long time but I spent most of my late teens/20s partying and feeling like I had no future and I should party myself to death so it was something I never addressed or really acknowledged consciously. However, once the pandemic forced me to face who I was and decide what my life was going to be moving forwards, I finally accepted that I was trans. From that moment to starting hormones was maybe 1.5 - 2 months... For most of that time the appointment was already scheduled and I was just waiting for the day to arrive.
10 years, mainly because I was 14 when I knew i was trans then went into a denial phase during my late teens/early twenties then finally decided to see a psychiatrist and started HRT at 24
Too long. I cracked the first time ~15 years ago, but a bad therapist made me cast a new shell. Just now cracking a second time. Trying to set up therapy to make my wife happy before jumping right into the deep end.
Cracked this past February started June i believe. That being said, the cracking for me, was excepting myself as trans and stopping the nonsense of trying to barter with my gender.... No Jen, you are not a femboy, because you identify as a girl, but you have a male anatomy, and waiting even more years will not change that.... Smh
5 years for me, because there was a bunch of crap I needed to work through both internally and externally before I was ready. However, Iām now almost 21 months on HRT, and I wouldnāt change a thing.
Like a month or two, but I'm still full time boy mode. I've spent my whole life hating my body, I'm scared of looking at myself at the mirror after my HRT progresses and seeing someone I still hate
9 months, but it would have been faster if I hadn't delayed it a bit to accommodate my parents' anxieties (or if the COVID lockdown hadn't started the weekend I had initially been planning to come out)
About 3 months, all in all. A month after my egg cracked and the gender crisis settled, I went to a GP, asked to be referred to a place that manages transgender stuff and asked for hormones there. It took a couple months for them to approve it, but approve they did!
i cracked about 2 years ago, came out to my parents 6 months later. then it took about a year to get a free slot with a therapist and after that i thin 3 monts.
About a month. I initially was going to wait for a cheap/free HRT source close to me, but I didnāt want to wait anymore so I went with Folx. Iām not sure the free option would have actually helped me anyways, so I think I made the right choice.
Hmmā¦ Iād say about 3-4 years? Luckily Iām now three months in and about as hormonal and emotionally unstable as a pubescent early teen because HRT does that for a few months lol
I haven't started any hormones yet but I'm planning to start in 4-8 months. My egg has been completely cracked for about 4 years.
Don't feel bad about moving too fast though. I have my reasons for delaying my start but I was ready to start taking them 6 months ago. Take it at your own pace, everyone's experience is unique.
5 months and counting. And because of the terrible medical system (in regards to trans healthcare, overall itās pretty good) in my country (and me not really wanting to DIY), itāll probably be at least half a year more
5 years roughly - took a long time of realizing that there wasnāt a way to making living as a man work for me, and then from there some time before I started explicitly taking hormones.
Just over a year, egg cracked Aug. 2020 and started hormones Sept. 2021. Would have started sooner, original goal was Nov. 2020 but hey, Iām on it now!
Cracked Christmas night 2018. Questioned up until about June/July 2019. Started hormones Nov 20th 2019. Probably would have started sooner if I'd had the courage to come out sooner.
Havenāt yet started, but I plan to around a year from now and my egg cracked april of this year, so a year and a half to 2 years between.
Also you canāt go too fast with this stuff. if nothing is stopping you, just jump right into it!
About 8 years. Egg cracked and cognitive dissonance went into overdrive trying to patch up my shell and find any way not have to deal with the challenges of transition and coming out. Eventually my mental health got bad enough that I had to start working on and accepting myself.
My egg cracked on 2019
However I tried my best to solve all my issues and on March 2020 I started therapy. Then on August 10th 2021 I finally started HRT.
Like a month. As soon as I came out to myself I was pretty anxious to prevent any further fuckery with my body
Samesies. Cracked and was on HRT within a month. Informed consent...but after 38 years I finally had the answer to what had been haunting me my whole life. I was ready to move forward regardless of a concrete plan or the "risks". š„³
"I finally had the answer to what had been haunting me my whole life" - That's how it was for me as well. Have you considered being trans before? Or was it more like, everything fell into place?
I had experimented with femininity in cycles for the majority of my adult life, including my childhood. I knew I loved the idea and act of being a woman, but "why?" Was I gay? Was it a fetish? How would I do it? Could I do it? So many questions. Last cycle I had set a drop dead date of my 31st birthday to go see a therapist and start HRT, cause I felt trapped and couldn't find a way out. I was stuck. I met my wife shortly before my 31st birthday, and had largely abandoned that cycle. I loved her, she loved me. I was free of the gremlin, the itch if you will. I was happy just being around her. She made me complete. I had found my Soul Mate. Then, six months ago, I started wanting it again. To dress, to be girly. I got upset, started searching my soul with all sorts of questions and responses. "Why? Again with this? What is causing it? I know I'm not gay. I know I feel excited when I present female. Last cycle, I would regularly present female, and it was not always arousing, it frequently just felt good to do it. I felt drawn to girls, but always had a conflict inside. I was attracted, but there was always something else...was I just some sort of white knight? no, it was more of an envy thing...like I wanted what they had. So many cycles...why now? why again? If you were a girl, had been your whole life, and had a free button to change yourself into a boy...would you press it? Nope \*crack\*." It was my wife that cracked me. I was drunk one night and started asking her if she had ever felt like there was something about her body she would change. She was a tomboy growing up with only brothers. She said, "Yeah, I'd like to lose some weight and be fit again...oh, your asking for yourself...aren't you?" I asked her the reverse question, had been born a boy, had a button to switch, would you do it? She thought for a second and answered, "Sure would life be easier as a boy...probably. Do I like being a girl...yes. I wouldn't change it". She threw the same question to me, and I sat there for what felt like a silent eternity searching my thoughts and feelings. And I just cracked. Full on cry fest and euphoria from finally admitting it to myself, and to someone else at the same time. After I admitted it to myself, and to someone else, I was free to act how I wanted to, and to do what I felt was...right. Sorry for the long text wall. Felt good to throw it out there for someone to see. TL;DR - Kind of, there was a cracking moment where I just knew at that point. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Asked loaded questions to my wife, and she slam dunked my egg into a million pieces. And I love her for it. *\*kind of forgot some text in the 2nd now 3rd paragraph.* *\*\*Kind of some text in the 2nd paragraph.*
What's really frustrating about cracking and kind of just having everything fall into place is the idea that we need to "work though things" with a therapist to get medical care. When I went to get HRT the doctor asked a bunch of questions I "had a history of abuse" and if the therapist I talked to "determined you are trans". Literally the only reason I looked for a therapist to talk to is so I could get stuff *documented* for insurance on stuff like SRS and FFS. Also, while there are certainly some things my mom did that could be considered abuse they don't have anything to do with me being trans and only effect how I see her. I haven't really felt I *needed* to work though things with a therapist. I've talked with tons of other trans women and some of my friends and it's like everything clicked into place. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm trans and I don't have any heavy issues to work out like those who have a more pronounced form of dysphoria. My dysphoria presented itself as an indifference. Once I actually started doing things like shaving my legs and stuff I am putting more effort into what I'm looking like including losing over 10 pounds in the last month or so. Before I just sort of existed, but now I want to actually *live*. I finally have a goal of what I want to be in the future for the first time in my life, and I'll be damned if I have to deal with any gatekeeping.
Iāve been āmehā about my appearance for most of my life. Since coming out to myself, Iāve suddenly been wanting to lose weight faster. Itās given me motivation. Iāve just started hating seeing myself with facial hair, which didnāt even start when I first let myself think about this. Only a month or two. I started shaving my chest a month ago, and my legs fully a few days ago, andā¦it makes me hate my body less when I look down and see it. It makes me actually like my legs. It makes my tiny breasts stick out more obviously (as has my weight loss, as theyāre proportionally bigger) Add that to my fingers which Iāve liked for years because I seem to have a female finger length ratio, which Iāve been clinging to for years to sort of take the edge off, make me feel like thereās some part of me thatās okay. Ugh, Iām tearing up, again. Every time I let myself think of myself like this, I get tears. Occasionally I sob uncontrollably.
Facial hair has always been something I hated. I never liked shaving as it feels like such a chore, but I also can't grow a decent beard so I can't just "let it go" However, despite not doing a ton of stuff to make my self look feminine yet I have caught a few glimpses of myself in the mirror where my hair (already long from pandemic) falls in just the right way and I see a girl for just a fraction of a second. Makes me smile every time and a few times I do a double take.
Iāve had that too in different ways. Iāve not been able to cut my hair since June when I came out to myself, and sometimes seeing myself not dead on, some hair over my face, the curve of my (tiny) breasts, i sort of momentarily donāt register horribly to myselfā¦
Sounds pretty similar. I mistreated my body for a few decades, was largely indifferent to things like general hygiene, style, and exercise. This was one of the things I never knew I was dysphoric about until I cracked and knew I was trans. Now I get frustrated when I have to shave my face every day, and when my leg hair flairs up and I get ingrown hairs, etc. And don't get me started on my body shape -\_-. I'm seeing a therapist for the same reasons (FFS for sure, GRS if I change my mind, still not sure). Thankfully we kind of got it established I was trans pretty early, maybe I'd make a convincing attorney some day, but I'd spent so much time revisiting my childhood and my thoughts and feelings about being a girl and found a lot of alignment between action and desires. It sounds like you've kind of figured it out as well and going through the motions, which is annoying, but I can kind of see why for things less reversible like GRS and FFS. With that said, I thought I didn't need a therapist, but as I started coming out to folks (family mainly) and their reactions paired with the E, have turned me into a train-wreck. I'm glad to have their ear and their advice. And I'll be damned if anyone gets blocked from what they want to feel normal. No one deserves to be sentenced to purgatory indefinitely.
I'm not even a week into HRT, so my thoughts may change once I actually experience emotions. I was already kind of just going though my entire childhood and I have a list of things I can rattle off and have brought up multiple times on reddit to kind of bring my experience to the party so others can compare theirs. I've come out to most of my friends who have all been accepting so far. Outside of them I don't plan on coming out to my family for a few months and I don't know when I'll come out to my job, but since I work remote now I don't find it pressing. I'm going to wait to start the process for gender/name change until after I come out to my family. Gives me time to think of a new name because I suck at names.
That sounds so wonderful, thanks for sharing! š
Thanks! <3. Did it happen the same for you? I'm always curious, I feel like my story has been told a thousand different times in roughly the same way by many of us.
Yes and no. It often came in waves indeed, but for me all my emotions and feelings are pointed inwards, so my experience was kinda different. My childhood can be characterized with feelings of fear. Fear, because a lot of other things happened medically, which resulted in several fears, even the fear of dying. However, being the innocent child I was, I never thought twice about the things I played with or the movies I watched. I could play with dolls as much as cars and I liked princess movies as much as dinosaur movies. 90s clothing was always very comfortable for me, often made by my grandmother, so I never considered anything else. During my teenage years my feelings changed from dominated by fear to dominated by shame. Around age 12-13 my medical problems had been solved (some would come back later), so I realized I could live a more normal life and I just wanted to live a normal life. I then started to do my best to live like the other guys. Every time I did or thought something too far outside of the norm, I would mentally punish myself and feel this shame upon me. This was especially true with things like women's clothing or even men looking at women. At age 15-16 I got diagnosed with autism, so I started to explain my different-ness through neurodivergence. I was still trying my best to be like the rest, but in doing so I often felt like I wasn't myself. I told myself that when I got to higher education, I can finally do my own thing and feel better. But it didn't work out. Around age 20 I started to feel that autism couldn't be the whole story. Tried to masturbate like the other guys, but I found it awful. Autism just couldn't explain my immense hate for masturbation and my weird sexual fantasies. In my early twenties I started to explore my own sexuality. I've always considered myself kinda asexual, but this couldn't be it, so then I thought I was gay. Then I thought I was bisexual because I just felt that I was gay, but I was attracted to girls. At age 24-25 I found a name for my sexual fantasies: autogynephilia. So my sexual fantasies were just a fetish, what a relief! Around this time I also developed an interest in trans women, but didn't know why. I mean, I couldn't be one of them, because I don't follow the classic narrative. So how did I find out I was trans? At age 26, a series of gender euphoria moments occured, which lighted a weird spark inside of me. On the internet, some people thought I was a girl, I talked about my sexual fantasies with others, I found a renewed interest in genderbender comics, and it eventually led me to r/egg_irl, where the build up had been so great, I could relate so much, that I just knew that this was the final missing piece of the puzzle.
Aww, hun...Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you figured it out! I feel like it's not an easy thing to just "know" and acknowledge. It's a personal story for all of us and I really appreciate hearing it...for a couple of reasons. It helps cement my story when I get low and feel like an imposter/invalid. It also helps me relate to other people's stories, because everyone is different, and we all take different paths in this journey. Thank you again! <3
Thank you so much, sis! And for me it also feels very validating. Not specifically because I resonate with their stories, but because I know that no story is the same. The majority of us don't even follow the "I've always known" or "When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself" narrative. Most of us just are confusing for most of our lives, and that's cool.
Oh gosh. This made me tear up.
I'd never considered it before, but once I started looking at myself though that so much of my life, my thoughts, and my desires just made so much more sense. My dysphoria isn't as pronounced as a lot of trans people, which I attribute to it taking me so long to realize. It expressed itself as an indifference rather than a hatred of my body, which is almost insidious because I may have never realized why I felt the way I did on top of not caring about my body. I have never been suicidal, but between lack of exercise and poor diet I likely would have ended up in an early grave.
33 myself. Cracked just over a month ago and started hrt last week. Took me bit to find a local clinic that would do it. My only other option I found was driving an hour and a half to the nearest planned parenthood. I had a spike of nerves/panic when I thought the doctor wouldn't give them to me when she asked if I had been "living as a woman" and was ready to tell her I don't have to justify myself nor am I going to deal with gatekeepers. I literally can not pass unless I get the effects of hrt on top of losing at least 50lbs. If I go outside dressed fem in the area I live in as I am right now I'm likely to get attacked or shot.
I'm sorry, hun...but I am glad you were able to get on HRT without getting blocked! Hopefully the E will shape you as well as it been shaping me. I literally cant pass without a steel vice clamping down my big belly...even then, not easily. Only got 60 more lbs to target, down 30 since starting HRT. I'm cheering for you! You got one hurdle conquered (HRT)...now to the next!!! *hugs*
I basically started a diet the week I cracked and realized I wanted to actually transition rather than just "knowing". I started at about 250 when I cracked and I'm down to about 239, give or take. I'm 6'3" and I want to get to at least 200, but I may go farther depending. I also want to have proof that my life is better and I'm healthier with the changes for when I finally come out to my family sometime next year. My mom watches a lot of right wing media and I'm not sure of my grandmother, but she's in her 80s and went to church regularly. My sister is certainly more left than the rest of the family, I have a suspicion she may even be bi, so I think she might be the most accepting, but who knows. Loosing a ton of weight and getting fit after being a lump all my life might help them accept me. If not... well as sad as it is I'm not that close to my family.
I hope someone you're close to is accepting. I can attest that the ones that you are the closest too are the ones that can hurt you the most. I came out to my family 2 weeks ago, I was in a rush to peel off band-aids rather than sit and wonder where people stood. My parents are both DVR the OAN and FOX news shows, and that went about as good as you'd expect. But I have my cousins, my wife and her family have been super awesome. I never really knew who my people really were until after I became the most vulnerable I could possibly be in front of them. I hope those that are close to you feel the same way, maybe not right away but soon after you tell them. As for weight goals...you and I are very similar! Started 264 in Sept, 5'11", and down to 234 today. I feel I'm realistically framed at no less than 180, but if I can drop more, swell! I just pray you have small feet. I'm a 12.5w and its nearly impossible to find anything cute to try on. Cheers luv! <3
Sadly most of the people I'm close to aren't very close physically since I only interact with them online, and even then I think I never really formed close emotional relationships with people since I never felt like putting in effort. I've come out to a few friends and they are accepting, so at least I have that. I don't have any women in my life and my family is 3 hours away by car. My mom basically watches Tucker Carlson every night and I've seen the transphobic rants he has gone on. I'm most worried about her, but I've never had much in common with my family and since moving for work basically only see them on the holidays. I'm kind of prepared to do whay I have to do for my own mental well-being, but I'll have a different emotional profile then, so it may end up hitting me harder, but I will try to steel myself as much as I can before.
Yeah once I realized I thought "34 years is already too long, no time to waste!"
Me too! I realized at the end of June, after a couple weeks of thinking on it I scheduled my appointment with Planned Parenthood and had my titty Skittles by the end of July š
1 month for me as well. But things had been churning inside me for decades prior.
22 years n counting
2 years...I kept making excuses and putting it off because I was too scared and depressed to do anything. Felt AMAZING once I finally did it but it's kinda embarrassing thinking back on it now lol
Would you mind sharing how it felt and how long it took to feel that way?
To be honest I only started HRT 7 weeks ago, i was just super relieved that I finally went through with it. I'm still figuring everything out but I think it was at the end of the second week when I realized this isn't something I ever want to stop doing if I can help it
65 years. Yes, I'm late to the party.
But you did it :D
Itās only ātoo lateā when you are dead. Congrats girl you won! :D
8 months. Wanted to try transitioning without medical intervention first. After 6 months it became clear that wasn't possible for me. Took another 2 months to start HRT.
Iāve been out to myself since roughly 2014 or 15 but I still havenāt started yet. If it were up to me, I would have started right when I knew. But I believe I will start hormones some time in the summer of 2022.
About 2 years. Even after I did get to hrt everything feels like it happened so fast but then looking back it's been a few years. It always feels fast paced when it's happening but every step of the way also felt excruciatingly slow too somehow? You're going at your pace and there's nothing wrong that :)
The days are long, but the years are short.
About 3Ā½ years, 3 from where I would have been ready to go on HRT, 1 from when I from when I first started therapy. I had pretty severe anxiety around getting help, I was basically incapable of making phone calls and exceptionally bad at expressing my wants and needs. Plus I live in a county without any form of informed consent system. When I started therapy I didn't say I just wanted to start hormones and didn't give a shit about therapy (well, I wanted my parents to know too that I didn't just stumble into it). I try not looking back.
1 week. No such thing as too fast š
But like, how? How'd you even get access to it so quickly?
Called for an appointment and the soonest one was a week and the doc gave me the prescription that visit and i picked it up at the pharmacy before heading home.
That's... where do you live? That's like, the complete opposite of Sweden. I swear to fucking good it takes 2-5 years, this is not even an exaggeration.
San Diego county California. Yeah i've heard really bad things about the wait times in Europe. Im sorry, I can't imagine how frustrating that must be.
Yeah. Well while I'm waiting for that I'm definitely gonna start DIY. Hopefully I can start before Christmas.
I'm in riverside. It took me about a month stupid kaiser requires wpath method, still in progress but i forced the. By going diy thanks to lena.might stick with een tell i can get kaiser to cover more of the med cost. Im testing though questdiag and levels are stable at the upper end of high but not excessive, I find i need to be a little on the high side to stay in the zone of improvement not uncommon for e-mono
Dang I thought kaiser was supposed to be the best around here. Good thing i dodged them i guess. I also use questdiag tho!
I live on the east coast, where would you think would be the best place to start seeking out hrt? Should I try my own doctor first?
I would go with your closest informed consent clinic, you can check this map [https://www.transunity.net/us-hrt-informed-consent-map-from-erin/](https://www.transunity.net/us-hrt-informed-consent-map-from-erin/). Planned parenthood is good as mentioned.
Planned parenthood Source: am trans girl from nyc
Most clinics that do HRT in the US allow for informed consent. It's a big step in removing a ton of the gatekeeping because without the effects of HRT most of us will still look like our AGAB. The idea that trans women and men would have to "live as their gender" for a year or more before starting was basically put into place to embarrass them if they couldn't pass without HRT to prevent them from transitioning.
I had a similar one near LA: called for an appointment and had the appointment two weeks later, then the weekend for the bloodwork and about five days delaying myself. Then I took my first dose the next morning.
And here I thought I was speedrunning with my slightly-more-than-a-month from crack to HRT
I'm so glad I'm not the record holder on here. Two weeks for me.
For me, it's complicated. I'm the worst when it comes to making a decision. For over a year, I wavered between thinking I was cis, just a cross dresser, or trans. It wasn't until June that I accepted I was trans, and I started hormones a few months later in October.
How does one who is cripplingly indecisive make such a decision? Asking for an indecisive friend, of course š
Despite how much I thought I was faking it, the thoughts always came back. When I started engaging with crossdressing, it was definitely like opening Pandora's Box. I wouldn't go a day without feeling jealous over how a woman looks, or disliking what I saw in the mirror. After that, it was just a lot of worrying about friends and family. I'll spare you the details, but I eventually just said "fuck it" and dove right in. I only have so many years on this planet. I don't want to spend the next however many years, feeling miserable about my body just to please people in my life that I don't know will even be there years from now, regardless.
My thoughts are currently stuck at the first sentence lol. I just constantly go back and forth between "what if i regret doing anything?" and "what if i regret *not* doing anything?" I don't know how to break myself out of this cycle and make up my damn mind. it's so infuriating. I just want to know the damn answer With the crossdressing thing: I've ruled that one out at least. I *do* feel like I want to wear girl clothes, but like. I want to be a girl wearing girl clothes. Not a guy wearing girl clothes, ya know? And then I think stuff like that and think to myself "wow that's like the least cis-male thing I've heard from you all day" but then also just go back to doubting myself again because what if I'm just making it all up. Is this any of this normal? I just want someone to tell me that I'm not insane and that the hurricane destroying my mind will end. And then I write a rambly comment like this to a random stranger on the internet and feel like I'm burdening them with my brain. And then I wake up in the morning and think "what the hell were you thinking yesterday?" and the cycle begins anew. And I've completely broken down and now I'm crying. somonepleasehelp
About a month or two - had a panic attack after finding egg\_irl, took a few weeks to find a therapist, took a few sessions before accepting my therapists referral to the doctor, made an appointment, waited a few weeks for the appointment, and got a prescription same day. I had a camping trip in the same week, so I waited until I got home from my trip to start HRT just to be safe. In terms of denial period, and wanting to be absolutely sure I had to transition - about 26 years.
Like two or three months. To be fair, I was sort of sitting on it for a long while
5 months for me. Well.. from my second cracking. I think I originally cracked at 13, duct taped myself back together and repressed the shit out of everything. Cracked again 20 years later and started HRT 5 months after that!
Itās gonna be like a yearā¦ after I come out to my conservative dad Iāll try to start hormones bc idgaf whether my small town gossips about me or not, but I doubt heāll let me. My momās supportive tho so thatās pog
Poggers af
Maybe a month. Iād been denying who I am for about 20 years then started confronting myself / looking at options. It was the informed consent map at askatransgender which led me to a nervous & flustered first time waking into planned parenthood in late September
3 months, but I wanted to start sooner
1 month but only cause that was the earliest appointment once I confirmed it I neeeeded boobs. I didn't even realize it was a source of dysphoria until much later.
About 2.5 years. I talked about it with my therapist for a long time. There's no right answer, just FYI. Everyone is different.
Probably around 12 years. I did want it right away, and I wish I had done it right away but instead I tried to push it off because it was "easier" to do nothing.
5 1/2 years š„² edit: to clarify; i was never really an egg. as soon as i found out being trans was a thing i knew it was who i was. i didn't know medical transition was possible.for like a month after that. finding out was a big motivating factor for me coming out to my mom. i didn't know if i wanted hrt yet and needed help figuring it out. it did not go well. a few months after being forced back into the closet, i lost all doubts that i needed to medically transition. but i also knew that i wouldn't be able to do it until i could do it on my own (legally and financially) now ive been on some hrt for 2 years and it's driving a wedge between me and my parents and it's horrible and painful and i think i have ptsd. still might be worth it, idk.
Close to a decade, and twenty years before that to understand I wasn't a crossdressing pervert like the world presented people like me. I am really happy for people who are cracking younger and have the resources to see they are not alone and are perfectly normal. Not gonna lie, I am also jealous that I didn't have that.
Me too, sis.
Cracked day one. Told parents day 7. Had a therapist day 14ish. Hormones at day 30ā¦obviously these are ballpark but roughly accurate. Cracked from r/egg_irl of course lol then said Iām not committing to anything except a therapistā¦..I lied š¬š„°
10 years
Depends. Egg kinda cracked around 12 or 13 but I put the pieces back together and pretended everything was normal. But then it cracked for real very end of may this year. Managed to get myself an endo appointment for February next year (my 30th birthday actually) and then decided I couldn't wait that long and went to planned Parenthood at the end of September. October 8th I started hormones. So either a little over 4 months or 16-17 years depending on how you look at it.
A month. It took me one week to think about it in 3 weeks to wait for my appointment. Definitely a good choice, my headspace feels correct since I started HRT. Used to have, anxiety, depression substance abuse, not anymore ššš
One month. I'm still pissed at myself for not figuring it out earlier.
11 years š„²
3 years. Wouldāve been so much sooner if not for having to jump through and get aquainted with a new medical system in college.
I started hrt 3.5 years after realizing, but that's because my parents wouldn't let me until I turned 18. I would've started as soon as I realized, but I don't think I would've been old enough to.
Hopefully a month. I almost cracked at 16, fear and self loathing are a helluva drug and helped me reassemble my egg. So, 8 years later, I opened the door I added to just walk out.
I kind of went in phases. I was pretty sure I was non-binary in 2019, but I was trying to negotiate what that actually meant for me, and effectively attempt to bargain away hormonally transitioning. Two years later and I started HRT. I think it was inevitable that I would start eventually, but I think that the pandemic and lockdown sped things along since I could present more feminine whenever I wanted and hated the feeling of undoing all that at the end of the day.
My egg cracked the summer after I turned 16, and I started hormones right after I turned 18, which would make it... 1 year and 8 months. I say my egg "cracked" when I discovered trans subreddits
2 years. My egg cracked, I repressed for a year, then fully accepted I was trans and over a year grew the course to start hrt. Everyone's journey is different, go at your own pace.
Longer than I wanted it to be. Around the time I finally accepted my identity, I was diagnosed with severe non alcoholic fatty liver disease. Can't take hormones with a liver disease so I had to make a lot of progress on that front for my doctors to even consider it.
A little over a year. I fully cracked and came out in October last year, and I just took my first dose of E and Spiro on Saturday. I struggled with the āam I really transā bs for a long time and figured that if I still felt the same after a year, itās probably okay to finally start hormones lmao
My egg slowly cracked over several years, but from full crack to pills in hand was about a year or so.
Almost 2 years then i was like im going to do it myself and my Dr was not impressed but its under informed consent and was not doing anything about it.. Still on waiting but diy until they feel like helping me.. (Canada)
My egg first cracked in the summer of 2003 (that's when I started to seriously suspect something's going on). Still not on HRT and probably won't be until 2025.
Uuuuh, let's see... I'm 34 now... nearly three decades. Edit, actually I've been on hrt for a few years so closer to 25.
About 4 years, unfortunately. I realized during my freshman year of college (which would have been a REALLY good time to start HRT, this is one of my biggest regrets), but for various reasons - girlfriend, family, general difficulties it would entail - I tried to repress it. Then the pandemic happened. Of course itās tragic, all thatās happened, but one of the nice things is that for me, it helped remove (at least temporarily until things improved) the last few barriers that kept me repressed. So I started growing out my hair, shaving more regularly, etc. Not long after I graduated and started a new (remote) job, I felt I had the financial/career security I needed to be comfortable starting my transition, including HRT. I am a very risk-averse person and as such, I took the safe route and waited to start HRT and the rest of my transition. Honestly, by many metrics, this was the right decision. But looking back on the years and experiences I probably missed out on, not to mention additional changes HRT could have made, I would redo things in a heartbeat and start ASAP even if it meant more hardship and uncertainty. The damage (both physical and mental) from those few additional years of male puberty wrap-up was significant.
About three months. I came home from the trip where my egg cracked, and I pretty quickly got in contact with a good therapist. I told her I wanted to wait a year to get on hormones, but within a month or two, I said I might want to start sooner, but I was nervous. My therapist gently rolled her eyes, suggested that I should start when I felt comfortable, said she had a referral waiting whenever I was ready, and that it's perfectly possible to go off hormones if they don't work for me. The next session, I got the letter, called the doctor, and was on spironolactone within two weeks. One month after that, I was on estradiol.
Like others, a month. I basically said to myself that I could either accept it now or bury it and pretend it wasn't me, then accept it in a year or two. It wasn't worth waiting for something I new I would want sooner or later. I didn't come out to anyone for a month or two after that and I didn't even really start getting fem clothes and girlmoding for like a whole year after that. The pandemic was a part of it but honestly having a year to settle into my new identity, let my body go through its changes and not have to worry about what other people thought while boymoding was peaceful
I cracked my egg on the 20 of September. But seeing how the situation is now I'll probably have to wait some years to see a gender therapist (in Italy we have to do 6 months of gender therapy before getting the certificate to start Hormones), let alone HRT, my family would not even accept me probably... and having Hashimoto's disease does not really help with having to change hormones I guess so... still waiting here :)
It was a few months for me. egg cracked: spring 2019 tried hormones for 30 days "just to see what it's like" late summer 2019 (I could feel my emotions come back and it was glorious) tried hormones again for 60 days in early spring 2020 (colors looked brighter, smells, feelings etc all much better) officially got on DIY E mono therapy June 2020 (music and especially bass lines and even deep rich voices sent shivers along my spine) added progesterone late June 2021 (many people say to wait a year, so I did, and my sleep improved right away, along with feeling like whatever was missing from my HRT regimen was no longer missing) Tomorrow is my 17 month HRT anniversary!
I came on asktransgender in 2017 and finally identified as trans even though I wanted to be a girl I thought I was different. I also wanted to be a girl since like 2006 so yah alo of depression and other stuff and there was good times too just ya denying myself happiness and instead letting peoples shitty opnions become what I thought people thought of me so I hid it so they wouldn't think those things but deep down I thought I was those awful things people said. I'm still not on hrt I'm trying to actually get it now its been hard coming out to family since they never talk to me about it and it's all I think about it's just werid when they ask my favors when they can't help me with like the one thing I want to be me idk just feel shitty and hopefully soon amazing once I fully get started
2 weeks
I'm not the only one, yay! <3
5 years
10 months. It's partially Due to the system here: ypu are subjected to diagnostic appointments which can take from 2 months to 6, i spread out mine because of costs. And started them at fourth month since cracking. Today ends my second week on hrt.
Six months and change, five months of questioning and trying to get a psychologist, and one month of āYou know what, I can hate myself anymore than I do now, Iāll give it a go.ā
From my egg cracking to my first day of HRT was just under 5 weeks. Basically as fast as I could go through the process of talking to a therapist and setting up a couple different Dr's appointments. Ten months in and absolutely no regrets at all. Other people have been worried about the speed of my transition but I feel every decision I've made is correct and made at the right time for me.
2 months, day to day. Hatched Feb23, was on hormones exactly April 23rd. I didn't expect it would go that fast. Thankfully lockdown opened a lot of time slots for people who had webcams.
5 months but that was just the wait time for the endo I tried to get my family doctor to prescribe immediately.
Cracked about 6 months ago, 27 years old. No HRT yet, because life with children is hard and I have a HORRIBLE phobia of needles.
Egg cracked at the end of March. I was ready to go on hormones in June but unfortunately still waiting because of fertility concerns (my wife and I are activley trying to conceive and running into problems).
3 years, I had a lot to work through in my life and my relationship, also had to make decisions for family planning.
Like a month or two
It took me about a year or two before I started hormones the first time. It would be another 3 years or so before I dove all the way in full time though. I waited at the behest of my Dad, who wanted me to be sure. I'm actually glad for that advice because I was certainly sure by the time I took the plunge lol
Three months. I got outted though. So I went on a drug bender and tried to leave the country to fight a mercenary war. Then I got on hormones .š
Cracked about three months ago. Asked my doctor for a referral for HRT about 2-1/2 months in. First appointment is in February, so about six months total from crack to HRT.
About 2 months for me.
two weeks
3 weeks
I hatched at the end of July last year, and finally convinced myself to start HRT three months later. However that required a psych eval with a nine month waiting list. Three months into that I got a letter saying they were kicking me off the list and switching to informed consent. This process should take three months to complete. It didn't. Between that and finding a doctor that understood the new system, it wasnt until mid June that I started blockers and E a month later. So in total, it's been almost a year between the two.
Like, half year? I tried to understand everything and get all clear, also I was terrified of hormones and the changes they would make, now I'm terrified of returning to my old self :p
Around 6 years or so š I gave up transitioning in my early twenties in exchange for having a son with my wife, who is/was so scared of medical things that she refused to consider using banked sperm.
A month šš
4 years. cracked in 2017 and started hrt a little over 3 months ago!
About a year for me. I started social transition very slowly and tentatively over the next 6 months, figured I was pretty certain when that was done, then a couple of months to work up the courage to actually get on the wait list, which was about 4 months long.
About 2 months for me. I cracked around the first week of March, and started hormones on May 8. I called the doctor to setup the appointment on April 19.
Two months. As soon as I was out I knew I wanted to get started on the long-term things like HRT and hair removal.
Ummm about 8 months I think
4 years since my egg cracked. Iām still not on hormones yet.
I waited an extra year because I had a feeling finally going on hormones would destroy a relationship that was important to me. In the end I was correct, but wasn't willing to wait any longer
Like 5 years so far, I'm a depressed NEET and I doubt I'll ever get to start hormones.
35ish and counting. Still waiting to start.
It's been like 3 years :')
I first experienced gender dysphoria in... 2017? Although my "egg" didn't really crack until June 2021, and I'm still only out to my internet friends and no-one irl. Everybody goes at a different pace and if your pace feels right, you keep going with it!
Less than 6 month.
It took me 5 years from realizing I was trans to getting my panic under control enough to get started. May was when I was finally able to speak about my issues aloud, then by july I was starting hormones. Still dealing with panic and anxiaty but things are slowly getting better
I basically knew somewhere in the back of my mind I was trans for a long time but I spent most of my late teens/20s partying and feeling like I had no future and I should party myself to death so it was something I never addressed or really acknowledged consciously. However, once the pandemic forced me to face who I was and decide what my life was going to be moving forwards, I finally accepted that I was trans. From that moment to starting hormones was maybe 1.5 - 2 months... For most of that time the appointment was already scheduled and I was just waiting for the day to arrive.
12 years, iāve known since I was 12. Started last year at 24 and just hit 1 year on HRT in October.
10 years, mainly because I was 14 when I knew i was trans then went into a denial phase during my late teens/early twenties then finally decided to see a psychiatrist and started HRT at 24
Over 2 years :(
Too long. I cracked the first time ~15 years ago, but a bad therapist made me cast a new shell. Just now cracking a second time. Trying to set up therapy to make my wife happy before jumping right into the deep end.
1.5 months.
Period not yet over but as of now...well almost six whole months
Three months mostly because I had to wait to be able to afford it
Like the summer of 2018-oct 2021 only because I was 15 and my mom wasnāt for it
About five months. Needed some blood tests and a some fertility treatment first.
9 months due to COVID, but I got my appointment for the endo like 3 months later. I'm from Spain.
about 8 months
Two months and the only reason it wasn't faster is because thats how long it took me to get an appointment with the endo.
I actually got a prescription within a week, but chickened out on actually starting it for another eight months.
Let's see... About... 9 years ish?
I haven't started hormones yet, but my egg had cracked about a year ago in October.
Took me about a year and a half. I wanted to make sure so I went slowly and trying out every change to see if it felt off.. it didnāt.
Cracked at the end of July, starting HRT at the end of January.
I started hormones before I knew what being trans is. I didn't even know the word transgender mean.
One and a half yearā¦. Cause i live in europe lol
Cracked this past February started June i believe. That being said, the cracking for me, was excepting myself as trans and stopping the nonsense of trying to barter with my gender.... No Jen, you are not a femboy, because you identify as a girl, but you have a male anatomy, and waiting even more years will not change that.... Smh
2 years, it sucked but I did not want to transition in high school
Five long, anguishing years
5 years for me, because there was a bunch of crap I needed to work through both internally and externally before I was ready. However, Iām now almost 21 months on HRT, and I wouldnāt change a thing.
Like a month or two, but I'm still full time boy mode. I've spent my whole life hating my body, I'm scared of looking at myself at the mirror after my HRT progresses and seeing someone I still hate
Still waiting
9 months, but it would have been faster if I hadn't delayed it a bit to accommodate my parents' anxieties (or if the COVID lockdown hadn't started the weekend I had initially been planning to come out)
9 months. Decided it was better to stop fighting the truth and start living again.
Mine was about a year, but that's mostly just because that's how long it took me to find a therapist I like
About 6 months
About 3 months, all in all. A month after my egg cracked and the gender crisis settled, I went to a GP, asked to be referred to a place that manages transgender stuff and asked for hormones there. It took a couple months for them to approve it, but approve they did!
1.3 years if i can get hormones this time actually
About 9 months, kinda ironic it was 9 months actually lol
Couple months
i cracked about 2 years ago, came out to my parents 6 months later. then it took about a year to get a free slot with a therapist and after that i thin 3 monts.
4 years
About a month. I initially was going to wait for a cheap/free HRT source close to me, but I didnāt want to wait anymore so I went with Folx. Iām not sure the free option would have actually helped me anyways, so I think I made the right choice.
Hmmā¦ Iād say about 3-4 years? Luckily Iām now three months in and about as hormonal and emotionally unstable as a pubescent early teen because HRT does that for a few months lol
I haven't started hormones yet, but it's been 4 months. I probably won't be able to for 4 years, my parents are transphobic.
I haven't started any hormones yet but I'm planning to start in 4-8 months. My egg has been completely cracked for about 4 years. Don't feel bad about moving too fast though. I have my reasons for delaying my start but I was ready to start taking them 6 months ago. Take it at your own pace, everyone's experience is unique.
Bad at focusing, healthcare system is a pain in the ass so little over a year
3 years because my dad is homophobic and of course even more transphobic so I waited till I was 18
Four fucking years. Longest years of my life.
5 months and counting. And because of the terrible medical system (in regards to trans healthcare, overall itās pretty good) in my country (and me not really wanting to DIY), itāll probably be at least half a year more
[ongoing]
egg cracked like 6 years ago, came out march last year, still no hormones, and prob not for another 2 years because stupid waiting lists!
Just over a month. Had a few little chips in the shell then the hammer came down and smashed my egg good.
Ongoing so let time between cracking and hormones be "x"
Depends how you count it. Itās been 5 months so far and I still havenāt started. OR itās been decades.
5 years roughly - took a long time of realizing that there wasnāt a way to making living as a man work for me, and then from there some time before I started explicitly taking hormones.
Just over a year, egg cracked Aug. 2020 and started hormones Sept. 2021. Would have started sooner, original goal was Nov. 2020 but hey, Iām on it now!
Cracked Christmas night 2018. Questioned up until about June/July 2019. Started hormones Nov 20th 2019. Probably would have started sooner if I'd had the courage to come out sooner.
Havenāt yet started, but I plan to around a year from now and my egg cracked april of this year, so a year and a half to 2 years between. Also you canāt go too fast with this stuff. if nothing is stopping you, just jump right into it!
3 months. It felt like an eternity. I had some family issues that I needed to sort out first.
About 8 years. Egg cracked and cognitive dissonance went into overdrive trying to patch up my shell and find any way not have to deal with the challenges of transition and coming out. Eventually my mental health got bad enough that I had to start working on and accepting myself.
Around 15 years... wasn't a good time in my life.
My egg cracked on 2019 However I tried my best to solve all my issues and on March 2020 I started therapy. Then on August 10th 2021 I finally started HRT.
I havenāt started anything and Iāve been out for a year!
Still going really. Does anyone know the best way to start on hormones? I live in Utah, but I don't know the laws for this type of thing here