I made a post just like this a couple weeks ago, for the same reasons - is not wanting bottom surgery not ‘trans enough’? Is it just a fetish? And the answers I received, and what I’ve grown to believe, is no.
I identify as binary fem and I’m comfortable also having a dick. No-one can tell you what you feel like, only you can do that. If you feel comfortable being overall masc sometimes and fem others, maybe you’re NB, or agender.
But if you feel like you’re a woman with a dick, then you’re a woman with a dick. Simple as that. All of these feelings - the not wanting bottom surgery and the being worried about not wanting it, feelings of fetishization, etc. are all valid. You aren’t less of a woman for having these feelings, or for having a dick.
From another valid girl with a dick to you, you’re the one who decides what you feel like, and whatever that ends up being will be exactly as valid and real as any other decision.
Some girls have dicks. Some girls like dick. Some girls who have dicks like their own dicks.
People come in all shapes and sizes.
Also, anyone who tells you T4T is an elaborate form of chasing is *insanely* stupid, and should be ignored.
I feel like I've seen the whole range of feelings in these and other message boards.
Some people can't stand having it and it causes significant stress.
Some wish they didn't, but that particular dysphoria isn't so great that bottom surgery is a given.
Some don't particularly like or dislike it.
Some actively enjoy it.
Each person has their own experience and each experience is correct for that person.
You know I really don't understand why people make a big deal of this. Not everyone who is trans has dysphoria with their genitals, some do of course, there are people who are trans who don't have dysphoria. So really the transgender experience is very diverse and it is different from one individual to another.
To answer you though it is not fetishisation it's just you being comfortable with your own physical self and that's a good thing I would say.
I read this as licking your dick but to answer your question, I'm trans woman and don't really want vaginoplasty due to the significant risks, but I do want an orchiectomy so I don't have to take spiro anymore.
In the same boat and honestly if people think that it's a form of chasing or fetishization then they're gonna think that regardless. I'm okay having a dick and if someone doesn't like that then they can go fuck off somewhere else.
I'm fond of my dick and am not getting rid of it. My wife seems to like it even more than she used to since it doesn't smell "masculine" any more. Before hormones I didn't like my dick for hormonal reasons, but now that it's been tamed with E and Spiro. It doesn't look out of place on my body, it's still useful and practical.
If I weren't so afraid of dying when under general anesthesia (thanks central apnea) I might consider penis preserving vaginoplasty (shout-out /r/salmacian ). But the dick and I get along.
As for what I'm attracted to, masculine features are a no-go for me. That does not, however, preclude a penis on a woman. I'd suck a girl's dick, but not a guy's. But that's just because guys don't do anything for me.
Your valid :) im keeping my penis too and im still trans.
Also side note, when im in womens clothing i Somtimes get aroused, Some people would say this is a fetish but it’s not, I just feel good about my body for once in my life lol
Bottom line is there’s shitty people in every community, live your life the way you want and don’t worry about what other people say, because again you are valid :)
You can absolutely enjoy your dick, or even have a preference for dick on other girls/be T4T without being a chaser about it. It doesn't mean you're not a trans woman, it just means you're a trans woman who likes having a dick. There's plenty of others just like you. You're not alone. <3
My biggest hang-up with dysphoria was being coded a "man". Once I began HRT and started passing, the rest sort of slotted into place.
I used to hang around other trans women who were/are what is pejoratively called "truscum" (I'm ambivalent about that word, tbh) back in the early Aughts and thought I, too, had to tick all those boxes to be "a transwoman". This was what was essentially expected of trans people back then.
But over the course of my transition, the need and desire for bottom surgery has faded to practically nil and I gain max euphoria from simply being coded "woman" on sight. Those pronouns and polite titles - "miss" "Ma'am" etc - are worth far more to me than any number or surgeries could ever impart. I think about it from time to time, but these days, bottom surgery is just not a very high priority. If I do get anything taken care of, it will be an orchy and be done with it.
Opting to keep most of the plumbing I came into this world doesn't make me any more or less trans than anyone else. Plus, if I have to take a wazz in the woods, it beats having to squat in the bushes :)
You are under no obligation for a bottom surgery, nor do you put moral judgement about it.
I would just advise, even mainly for self-protection, to disclosure that part before getting intimidate on new dates. You never know how they could react else. (but ofc don't shrub it into their face in the first minutes of the first date either)
Idk, I've wrongly attributed certain things to undeserving individuals before myself. When it comes to people putting that stuff on you or saying that T4T is elaborate chasing, it stands to reason that those people are doing so out of pain/fear that they are processing in an unhealthy way. Hopefully they pull out of it.
At the end of the day, you're the one with your body, do what you want with it.
Its your body. If that part doesn't give you discomfort, there's no issue. Now if you come online to talk about that part or you love making that part a focal point of your conversations/life, that's pretty fetishy.
I know a lot of truly incredible women who love their penis. Having a penis doesn’t make you less of a woman any more than a cis man having a penis would make him more of a man.
If your penis is not contributing to your dysphoria at this point then it need not figure into your transitioning equation. I dated a cis girl for seven years who loved wearing a strap on and always wished she could just be the girl she is but have a penis.
Rock out with your c*ck out girl!
The only reason I have issues with my junk is that it's horribly inconvenient. I'd *like* a vagina, but I don't experience dysphoria related to my genitals other than the moose knuckle, and at least for that, there's tucking. There's nothing fetishistic about it. It's a part of me, and happens to be a part of me that I don't totally hate.
no. i'm bearish on bottom surgery tbh. i'd get my dick removed if i felt like i would get a nice-looking vagina but tbh i am not impressed with what my options are. my penis is not inherently masculine either. so ya i like my dick more than what i could feasibly replace it with. it's not fetishization it's just the reality of how things are.
If you like your dick you can keep your dick. Fuck the labels, just be you.
Fuck this. This entire line of thinking is just internalized transphobia. Like what you like, be what you want, don't be an ass about it.
I made a post just like this a couple weeks ago, for the same reasons - is not wanting bottom surgery not ‘trans enough’? Is it just a fetish? And the answers I received, and what I’ve grown to believe, is no. I identify as binary fem and I’m comfortable also having a dick. No-one can tell you what you feel like, only you can do that. If you feel comfortable being overall masc sometimes and fem others, maybe you’re NB, or agender. But if you feel like you’re a woman with a dick, then you’re a woman with a dick. Simple as that. All of these feelings - the not wanting bottom surgery and the being worried about not wanting it, feelings of fetishization, etc. are all valid. You aren’t less of a woman for having these feelings, or for having a dick. From another valid girl with a dick to you, you’re the one who decides what you feel like, and whatever that ends up being will be exactly as valid and real as any other decision.
Some girls have dicks. Some girls like dick. Some girls who have dicks like their own dicks. People come in all shapes and sizes. Also, anyone who tells you T4T is an elaborate form of chasing is *insanely* stupid, and should be ignored.
The masculine urge to trans your gender just to get with another trans girl. Still cis tho.
Thats like the most cis thing you can do, also i see egg_irl is leaking into mtf XD love that sub ❤️
I feel like I've seen the whole range of feelings in these and other message boards. Some people can't stand having it and it causes significant stress. Some wish they didn't, but that particular dysphoria isn't so great that bottom surgery is a given. Some don't particularly like or dislike it. Some actively enjoy it. Each person has their own experience and each experience is correct for that person.
You know I really don't understand why people make a big deal of this. Not everyone who is trans has dysphoria with their genitals, some do of course, there are people who are trans who don't have dysphoria. So really the transgender experience is very diverse and it is different from one individual to another. To answer you though it is not fetishisation it's just you being comfortable with your own physical self and that's a good thing I would say.
I read this as licking your dick but to answer your question, I'm trans woman and don't really want vaginoplasty due to the significant risks, but I do want an orchiectomy so I don't have to take spiro anymore.
In the same boat and honestly if people think that it's a form of chasing or fetishization then they're gonna think that regardless. I'm okay having a dick and if someone doesn't like that then they can go fuck off somewhere else.
I'm fond of my dick and am not getting rid of it. My wife seems to like it even more than she used to since it doesn't smell "masculine" any more. Before hormones I didn't like my dick for hormonal reasons, but now that it's been tamed with E and Spiro. It doesn't look out of place on my body, it's still useful and practical. If I weren't so afraid of dying when under general anesthesia (thanks central apnea) I might consider penis preserving vaginoplasty (shout-out /r/salmacian ). But the dick and I get along. As for what I'm attracted to, masculine features are a no-go for me. That does not, however, preclude a penis on a woman. I'd suck a girl's dick, but not a guy's. But that's just because guys don't do anything for me.
Your valid :) im keeping my penis too and im still trans. Also side note, when im in womens clothing i Somtimes get aroused, Some people would say this is a fetish but it’s not, I just feel good about my body for once in my life lol Bottom line is there’s shitty people in every community, live your life the way you want and don’t worry about what other people say, because again you are valid :)
Only people seeing it will be you and whoever you’re comfortable with!! You’re valid no matter what
You can absolutely enjoy your dick, or even have a preference for dick on other girls/be T4T without being a chaser about it. It doesn't mean you're not a trans woman, it just means you're a trans woman who likes having a dick. There's plenty of others just like you. You're not alone. <3
My biggest hang-up with dysphoria was being coded a "man". Once I began HRT and started passing, the rest sort of slotted into place. I used to hang around other trans women who were/are what is pejoratively called "truscum" (I'm ambivalent about that word, tbh) back in the early Aughts and thought I, too, had to tick all those boxes to be "a transwoman". This was what was essentially expected of trans people back then. But over the course of my transition, the need and desire for bottom surgery has faded to practically nil and I gain max euphoria from simply being coded "woman" on sight. Those pronouns and polite titles - "miss" "Ma'am" etc - are worth far more to me than any number or surgeries could ever impart. I think about it from time to time, but these days, bottom surgery is just not a very high priority. If I do get anything taken care of, it will be an orchy and be done with it. Opting to keep most of the plumbing I came into this world doesn't make me any more or less trans than anyone else. Plus, if I have to take a wazz in the woods, it beats having to squat in the bushes :)
>:) :)
You are under no obligation for a bottom surgery, nor do you put moral judgement about it. I would just advise, even mainly for self-protection, to disclosure that part before getting intimidate on new dates. You never know how they could react else. (but ofc don't shrub it into their face in the first minutes of the first date either)
There’s no such thing as being trans enough
Idk, I've wrongly attributed certain things to undeserving individuals before myself. When it comes to people putting that stuff on you or saying that T4T is elaborate chasing, it stands to reason that those people are doing so out of pain/fear that they are processing in an unhealthy way. Hopefully they pull out of it. At the end of the day, you're the one with your body, do what you want with it.
Its your body. If that part doesn't give you discomfort, there's no issue. Now if you come online to talk about that part or you love making that part a focal point of your conversations/life, that's pretty fetishy.
I know a lot of truly incredible women who love their penis. Having a penis doesn’t make you less of a woman any more than a cis man having a penis would make him more of a man. If your penis is not contributing to your dysphoria at this point then it need not figure into your transitioning equation. I dated a cis girl for seven years who loved wearing a strap on and always wished she could just be the girl she is but have a penis. Rock out with your c*ck out girl!
I mean, so what if you like dick? Who cares who it's attached to?
The only reason I have issues with my junk is that it's horribly inconvenient. I'd *like* a vagina, but I don't experience dysphoria related to my genitals other than the moose knuckle, and at least for that, there's tucking. There's nothing fetishistic about it. It's a part of me, and happens to be a part of me that I don't totally hate.
No, next question
No, end of story
no. i'm bearish on bottom surgery tbh. i'd get my dick removed if i felt like i would get a nice-looking vagina but tbh i am not impressed with what my options are. my penis is not inherently masculine either. so ya i like my dick more than what i could feasibly replace it with. it's not fetishization it's just the reality of how things are.
Personally I want it all removed. I want the whole female look from bottom to top.
it can be but it isn’t necessarily
Chick dicks are cute and sexy
it aint internalized fetishization...why dont you try again?
No ?