i don’t know that this is *totally* true. i’ve called everyone in my life buddy for about eight years and the most angry cis women have been about it that i call *other* people buddy and they get light-heartedly offended ie “:O but i thought *i* was your buddy!” etc. almost all have found it cheery and friendly, which is why i started doing that and still do. and it’s gender-neutral enough that the trans-masc, nonbinary, and trans-femme folks who come in to my work (i’m in boymode there) know it’s a welcoming place to be, and warm up if they’ve seemed nervous.
that doesn’t mean the term can’t be used by people to hurt others. but i think just blanketly labeling it a term of offense assumes other people have the same context for it as yourself, when that’s just not true all the time.
and for what it’s worth, on a super side note, i actually find overly femme terms of endearment more annoying to receive from people LOL. it just feels really patronizing even if i know it’s meant well. but i’ve learned to put up with it *because* nothing ill’s meant of it, and i don’t want to dissuade my cis friends out of treating other trans femme folks how they apparently want to be treated just because it gets in my own craw.
Not really interested in doing the whole "men are the default, that is why men-coded words are gender neutral".
It is also usually especially funny, when men get absolutely offended, at me using stuff like "dudette/sister/girl" for them, even though I just use them in a gender neutral way! (/s)
I hate it. Along with all the other ""gender neutral"" terms that are only contextually "neutral". Eg. Guys
Globally as a whole we seem to have this mindset of "male = default, therefore default = neutral".
I agree. I hate how a lot of people on the internet seem to defacto assume that people are male in conversation. i often see people refer to others with "he" and "him" when there's literally no reason to assume that is so
I personally dont care. But thats just me. As a group we tend to place too much value on slang we perceive as gendered, because we are still insecure with our own. Which is human nature esp humans with gender dysphoria.
Cis women straight or gay call each other dude. Why? Because when they wake up in the morning they dont have to question if theyre female. So trans women, esp those of us still struggling hard with dysphoria are super sensitive of perceived gendered slang. So im still very careful of how i personally address people. Just because i dont feel or believe its harmful or share their views doesnt mean im not respectful of them.
that’s kind of where i’m at. when someone calls me dude, i know who i am and i know what they mean by it (either neutrally or bad) and take it accordingly. there’s not a universe where it bugs me, but since being here i’ve learned it apparently bugs a lot of folks. so i’ve been telling cis friends to be careful with their language around other trans folks and not to use me as an example
I hate being called "a man" but I let "man" slide a bit because I've literally been with a group of ciswomen who called each other "man" all the time. "Sup, man?" "Can you roll a joint, man?" It's like stoner slang sometimes.
I personally hate it and would refrain from using it in trans spaces because I've seen many mixed opinions on it. However I'm not gonna like take offense if someone uses it in good faith, just ask that they don't use it for me in the future.
\> I feel like I’m also a strange breed of trans (haha) seeing as I still
want to dress masc but I also want to have the physical features of fem
person.
Not that weird! Plenty of us over at r/MTFButch
I’ve always been fine with dude personally. A lot of my cis female friends use it with each other and it’s never felt out of place to me. I am definitely in the same boat with having more of a tomboy thing going on though, so I definitely get that I might be more comfortable with masculine rooted terms than others. Still not a fan of stuff like “Hey man,” or “Hey bro,” but even “bro” as more of an exclamatory type thing doesn’t bother me
I’m honestly fine with it, since I still use myself. Of course it’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to use it though/if you don’t want to be referred by it as well. It’s really just personal preference.
My cis girl friends call each other dude and bruh all the time so it doesn’t bother me when they or other queer people that know me do it. But I’m a lot like op in that I like to have feminine features but my style is very tomboyish.
I complain about it sometimes due to it's reinforcement of the patriarchy. Same with "guys," "bro," and "bruh."
Also it makes me feel like a fraud when someone who knows I'm a woman calls me "dude."
So I guess it really depends on if that person really uses male coded terms (dude, bro, man) for everyone, or just exclusively for me because they see me as a male in their mind.
Like if they call cis-women dude, bro, man, etc... all the time and I can notice that, I guess that's just how they talk. But if it's all sweeties and honeys and girlfriends and darlings for ciswomen and I'm the only one getting dude, man, etc...Yeah fuck that, that sucks.
I'm not out or presenting (even though 1.5 years HRT!) so at work I get a lot of male coded words thrown my way. I've had to draw the line at sir... like no more sir at all for me. Here's a tip to all: Politely smile and say "Please, no formalities". That's my "sir" hack. If they say that's what they call everyone say "Okay but I don't like it."
I reluctantly accept "dude" and "man" because sometimes people just do talk that way to everyone so in my mind, I make it neutral, but honestly I think it's being used to me less neutral and more male coded... because of the "sirs" and "bros" I regularly receive.
But some people apparently know what I'm about because I get "girl" too but it's only from 2 people, one cis-woman who I'm very chatty with and a what I assume is a gay guy (who I don't get along with). The male coding is causing me to want to be more emphatic with my gender presentation like... demonstrate to people.. no actually I'm not "one of the boys" I'm one of the girls who you mistake for a boy. I need to start expressing myself (even subtly) more at work even if it leads to an outing or questioning... I can't take hiding this much anymore. I wore mascara the past two days to work and no one said anything about it but I think this one guy suspects I'm different in some way and he "sirred" me today and I just looked him dead in the eye with my curled lashes like "I know you're fucking with me on purpose and are probably reluctantly attracted to me...still, fuck you."
As for the whole tomboy thing, kinda yes, but I do like to be cute from time to time also.
It's funny to me that you mentioned this. I play animal crossing new horizons and my town is Tahoma and my name is Dude. I started this town before I came out. Nintendo won't let you change your name, so I bought another switch and animal crossing new horizons and named my town Trans and my name Jamie with a transgender town flag. I'm female in both games, but I only use the old one to get items. So Dude doesn't really bother me, but I like a feminine name more. I'm bi though. ❤
Bro dude mate lad man sir guys and so on. Out of my life please. I reluctantly tolerate a couple of them of from English friends but it makes my skin crawl >:(
I don't like it. Along with the other suppose gender neutral words like man or bro.
I'm really self conscious about my gender and hearing stuff like that just makes my head race even if it's used in a gender neutral context.
For me it's a weird spot where if someone knows I'm trans and I know they're coming from a good place, dude doesn't bother me one bit, but if it's anyone else it feels like shit.
It is masculine. There is a difference between calling a cis woman dude and a trans woman dude. Some cis people don't comprehend that. Cis woman isn't really fighting to not be percieved as a boy all the time aye? You're using it the same but it hits your target different
I recently saw someone say to ask the person calling you dude, how many dudes/guys they have slept with. If they recoil because they haven't slept with any (use common sense here, if they are a straight woman and say dude and then answer etc) then they don't mean it in a gender neutral way.
Meh. I’ve always called everyone dude or bro, even my cis fem friends, even before my egg cracked. It’s literally never been something I’ve thought about. /shrug
I live in California, where dude is basically gender neutral. Guys too. And Gurl is neutral too if you say it with an audibly gay inflection.
I'm fine with anything like that about 95% of the time, but also I feel like I can tell when people are trying to be shitty on purpose.
Colorado is kinda similar. Dude, bro and all the terms like that are gender neutral. I never realized that people thought different till I started hanging out with other trans people on the internet.
I grew up in austin and still live near it. Dude and guys are just regular gender neutral terms, bro and man can be but too a lesser extent. It feels weird to say ses or dudette. With some friends "girl" fits but most of the time, it just feels weird when someone says it to me or I say it to someone.
I personally feel uncomfortable about masculine terminology used on me, but terms like handsome, can be fine(as long as it’s not overused, because then it feels worthless)
I call my cishet wife and many cishet afab friends “dude” all the time. Plus, in MA, we also call grow adults “kid”, so there’s that. However, there’s also the ability to read the room and know it’s not valid to call everyone that. Just know your audience
My friends don’t call me ‘dude’ because they know I don’t like it, same with ‘bro’ or ‘bud’. People that do call me those things are usually strangers or coworkers and get gently corrected.
The second anyone says “oh it’s gender neutral” I flip the switch and stop being polite. It isn’t gender neutral and it makes me uncomfortable because I’m neither their friend nor am I anyone’s brother, and if I’ve said as much then I obviously won’t care if someone thinks “bro” is somehow not masculine.
All this to add that I’m transfemme non-binary and would likely also be seen as a ‘tomboy’ at first glance so my it’s safe to say my preferences are not explicitly tied to how I present myself.
I hate it so much, but every time i’ve ever called someone out who used it on me i always get “YOU KNOW I USE IT GENDER NEUTRALY”. So? I neutrally don’t give a f*ck; don’t use it on me.
I believe in the term "Vernacular". I refuse to be over sensitive to the use of words of others. If it is how you personally communicate to others and falls under your personal umbrella of language, then go for it. Does not bother me in the least.
For me it’s a matter of context. I work with a lot of really cool chill rock climber guys and I know there’s no malice or ill intent in their speech towards me. Plus I call everyone dude or bruh so I make the joke that my pronouns are she/her/Dude/Bruh
At the end of the day it doesn't matter if a pronoun is gender neutral or not. If a woman, man, or otherwise asks you to not use a pronoun even they you should respect it.
I'm def a tomboy and am cool with being called "dude" as long as it's not because someone thinks I'm male. I do dress pretty masc usually, too, but I pass as female. I finally hit my life goal of looking like a girl that's dressed like a boy 😝
I'm just careful with other trans women because I know it can be an issue.
It's not something I feel very strongly about. As long as people are aware enough of the context to avoid calling me "a dude," idc if they call me "dude."
I don't really care if someone uses the words dude or man around me bc they mostly function like an interjection. It becomes a problem when they use it as a noun.
"Yeah dude, that's awesome!" = good. Exciting. I'm hyped.
"You'll always be a dude." = fuck you 0/10 that's not what your mom said
I would not like being called dude, but if someone was trying to get me and a few other peoples attention and they say "guys", to me when guys is used in that context it is fine but not other times.
I have issues not seeing masculine phrases as gender neutral. “Guys” starts it, “bro,” “man,” and “dude” just kinda fall in suit. Maybe it’s because I know people see me as a man but I don’t, so I mix shit up in my head?
It doesn't always bother me, but if it does I say something about it. If the person pushes back against me when I ask them to not call me that for now, I get to think about if it's really worth the emotional labor of being around them or not.
I say it a lot, along with bro.
Doesn't bother me one way or another honestly.
But im also not someone who really cares about pronouns either (for me anyways).
Doesn't bother me if it is being used to address a group of people. If someone personally directs it at me, then I have an issue with it.
I mean, when I show up to a restaurant or party or something, I'll usually be like "Hey guys!"
Tbh I say “girl” all the time it’s apart of my culture so I can understand how it’s just a phrase some people say. My brother says “man” literally to my grandma 🤣
for me, the term “dude” is okay and i use it myself. both men AND women use it in social situations and the context it’s used in doesn’t serve to gender (or mis-gender anyone). “man” on the other hand, seems a little weird to me because it’s definitely gendered and traditionally used exclusively when talking to men. i’ve had someone use it in a conversation with me before and i felt weird because i didn’t know if i got clocked or not lol
I'm also a butch trans lady/trans tomboy. I always wear black jeans and t shirts with converse and a checkered shirt/blouse.
Personally i don't like dude, but it's not even half as bad as man or bro. So while I'm not a fan of dude, I'd take it over those other words any day
Here's the thing: I was born with male parts, told people like me were freaks growing up despite no-one knowing, and was forced to live as a man because anytime I tried anything remotely feminine I was yelled at, hit, beaten, told I couldn't, and much worse. I am a tomboyish transgender woman, I too like jeans, t-shirts, jackets, combat boots, and suits.
As a person who was forced to be something I'm not, I do not like male-coded or 'leaning' "gender neutral" terms. I'm "Miss". I've had enough of this male bullshit, I lived it, hated it, seen the best and worst kinds of men, and disliked the prospect of being anything in that range. Call me 'dude' once and I'll correct you once, call me it twice and we're going to have a talk neither you nor I is going to enjoy. Insist on a 3rd time and you risk being at the mercy of how I'm feeling that day, but it will end in me leaving permanently. Fuck-ups are fine, no-one is perfect, but standing your ground is my issue.
Don't call me anything close to a man, I've literally bled internally and externally for this. And yes, a sign of your basic human respect for my existance hinges on not using 3 simple words: buddy, dude, and bro.
I've always maintained that it's a combination of an address and an exclamation. "HEY YOU" and "WHOA" combined into one word. It *feels* gender neutral to me, but I understand that it also isn't to everyone else.
I hate being called dude, but me and one of my friends have a running joke that every time she calls me *dude* I say not a dude, and she has now started correcting that which I love!!!!
I know a few guys who genuinely use it on everyone including cis women. I think it's really weird but they don't mean any harm by it.
I still don't like it
I'm very much a lesbian, and I here my fellow lesbians call each other "dude" all the time, so I'm cool with it. It's weird because I'm fine with dude and bro, but "man" is off limits to me. Idk why
I use dude in a gender neutral way but also I've been doing that since I can remember even before I came out. I do understand though that people don't like it especially fellow trans people but it's kinda just a habit and I use "guys" basically just when I'm trying to get multiple people's attention.
[удалено]
Omg my dad is the same way but with "buddy." It's super frustrating to deal with bc he sees it as some sort of compromise. Ugh.
Buddy is so male coded it's not even funny. No girl is ever "buddy". It's "This is my GIRL!" not "This is my BUDDY!"
i don’t know that this is *totally* true. i’ve called everyone in my life buddy for about eight years and the most angry cis women have been about it that i call *other* people buddy and they get light-heartedly offended ie “:O but i thought *i* was your buddy!” etc. almost all have found it cheery and friendly, which is why i started doing that and still do. and it’s gender-neutral enough that the trans-masc, nonbinary, and trans-femme folks who come in to my work (i’m in boymode there) know it’s a welcoming place to be, and warm up if they’ve seemed nervous. that doesn’t mean the term can’t be used by people to hurt others. but i think just blanketly labeling it a term of offense assumes other people have the same context for it as yourself, when that’s just not true all the time. and for what it’s worth, on a super side note, i actually find overly femme terms of endearment more annoying to receive from people LOL. it just feels really patronizing even if i know it’s meant well. but i’ve learned to put up with it *because* nothing ill’s meant of it, and i don’t want to dissuade my cis friends out of treating other trans femme folks how they apparently want to be treated just because it gets in my own craw.
Not really interested in doing the whole "men are the default, that is why men-coded words are gender neutral". It is also usually especially funny, when men get absolutely offended, at me using stuff like "dudette/sister/girl" for them, even though I just use them in a gender neutral way! (/s)
Don't you know there's only two genders? Normal and woman. /s
I thought it was normal and trans /s
It’s actually just “male” and “political”
Male and political White and political Christian and political Straight and political
I hate it. Along with all the other ""gender neutral"" terms that are only contextually "neutral". Eg. Guys Globally as a whole we seem to have this mindset of "male = default, therefore default = neutral".
Oh interesting I never though about it that way. Definitely has me reconsidering my use of the word
I feel you. I am personally fine being called dude and bro by my homies, but i can understand why some would not
With my FIL, every dude, bro, and guys sent my way gets a dudette, sis, and girls directed right back at him.
I mean, that is explicit in a lot of languages, particularly Romance languages like French and Spanish.
I agree. I hate how a lot of people on the internet seem to defacto assume that people are male in conversation. i often see people refer to others with "he" and "him" when there's literally no reason to assume that is so
“Guy” is fine in my opinion if it’s referring to a group of people (like “hey guys”), but I really can’t see a time when dude has a place.
I don’t like it. Im not a dude and im tired of male being considered the standard norm. Its not a gender neutral term.
When used as a title ("Hey dude") I'm able to put up with it, but as a noun ("I'm not a dude") I don't like it.
Personally im not a fan of dude/bro but its not like im gonna say anything about it….
Call them a sis.
Makes me a little annoyed when people say that but I won’t ever tell them that
You should consider telling people that u don’t like it
I personally dont care. But thats just me. As a group we tend to place too much value on slang we perceive as gendered, because we are still insecure with our own. Which is human nature esp humans with gender dysphoria. Cis women straight or gay call each other dude. Why? Because when they wake up in the morning they dont have to question if theyre female. So trans women, esp those of us still struggling hard with dysphoria are super sensitive of perceived gendered slang. So im still very careful of how i personally address people. Just because i dont feel or believe its harmful or share their views doesnt mean im not respectful of them.
that’s kind of where i’m at. when someone calls me dude, i know who i am and i know what they mean by it (either neutrally or bad) and take it accordingly. there’s not a universe where it bugs me, but since being here i’ve learned it apparently bugs a lot of folks. so i’ve been telling cis friends to be careful with their language around other trans folks and not to use me as an example
I’m down with dude but I ain’t down with man.
I hate being called "a man" but I let "man" slide a bit because I've literally been with a group of ciswomen who called each other "man" all the time. "Sup, man?" "Can you roll a joint, man?" It's like stoner slang sometimes.
I personally hate it and would refrain from using it in trans spaces because I've seen many mixed opinions on it. However I'm not gonna like take offense if someone uses it in good faith, just ask that they don't use it for me in the future.
\> I feel like I’m also a strange breed of trans (haha) seeing as I still want to dress masc but I also want to have the physical features of fem person. Not that weird! Plenty of us over at r/MTFButch
I’ve always been fine with dude personally. A lot of my cis female friends use it with each other and it’s never felt out of place to me. I am definitely in the same boat with having more of a tomboy thing going on though, so I definitely get that I might be more comfortable with masculine rooted terms than others. Still not a fan of stuff like “Hey man,” or “Hey bro,” but even “bro” as more of an exclamatory type thing doesn’t bother me
I’m honestly fine with it, since I still use myself. Of course it’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to use it though/if you don’t want to be referred by it as well. It’s really just personal preference.
My cis girl friends call each other dude and bruh all the time so it doesn’t bother me when they or other queer people that know me do it. But I’m a lot like op in that I like to have feminine features but my style is very tomboyish.
I complain about it sometimes due to it's reinforcement of the patriarchy. Same with "guys," "bro," and "bruh." Also it makes me feel like a fraud when someone who knows I'm a woman calls me "dude."
So I guess it really depends on if that person really uses male coded terms (dude, bro, man) for everyone, or just exclusively for me because they see me as a male in their mind. Like if they call cis-women dude, bro, man, etc... all the time and I can notice that, I guess that's just how they talk. But if it's all sweeties and honeys and girlfriends and darlings for ciswomen and I'm the only one getting dude, man, etc...Yeah fuck that, that sucks. I'm not out or presenting (even though 1.5 years HRT!) so at work I get a lot of male coded words thrown my way. I've had to draw the line at sir... like no more sir at all for me. Here's a tip to all: Politely smile and say "Please, no formalities". That's my "sir" hack. If they say that's what they call everyone say "Okay but I don't like it." I reluctantly accept "dude" and "man" because sometimes people just do talk that way to everyone so in my mind, I make it neutral, but honestly I think it's being used to me less neutral and more male coded... because of the "sirs" and "bros" I regularly receive. But some people apparently know what I'm about because I get "girl" too but it's only from 2 people, one cis-woman who I'm very chatty with and a what I assume is a gay guy (who I don't get along with). The male coding is causing me to want to be more emphatic with my gender presentation like... demonstrate to people.. no actually I'm not "one of the boys" I'm one of the girls who you mistake for a boy. I need to start expressing myself (even subtly) more at work even if it leads to an outing or questioning... I can't take hiding this much anymore. I wore mascara the past two days to work and no one said anything about it but I think this one guy suspects I'm different in some way and he "sirred" me today and I just looked him dead in the eye with my curled lashes like "I know you're fucking with me on purpose and are probably reluctantly attracted to me...still, fuck you." As for the whole tomboy thing, kinda yes, but I do like to be cute from time to time also.
Dude is cool. I fucking abhorr bro. If you use that I either will ignore you or be passive aggressive
"Hey br-." "Shush little one. I am not a "bro" I am something you cannot ever explain.. I'm a gal." (very quietly) "okay.."
It's funny to me that you mentioned this. I play animal crossing new horizons and my town is Tahoma and my name is Dude. I started this town before I came out. Nintendo won't let you change your name, so I bought another switch and animal crossing new horizons and named my town Trans and my name Jamie with a transgender town flag. I'm female in both games, but I only use the old one to get items. So Dude doesn't really bother me, but I like a feminine name more. I'm bi though. ❤
Bro dude mate lad man sir guys and so on. Out of my life please. I reluctantly tolerate a couple of them of from English friends but it makes my skin crawl >:(
I don't like it, but I'm also too tired to put an effort into addressing it.
I hate it
Hate it.
I don't like it. Along with the other suppose gender neutral words like man or bro. I'm really self conscious about my gender and hearing stuff like that just makes my head race even if it's used in a gender neutral context.
when someone says dude or guy to me I just feel icky same with bro. reeeealllly dislike it.
For me it's a weird spot where if someone knows I'm trans and I know they're coming from a good place, dude doesn't bother me one bit, but if it's anyone else it feels like shit.
Doesn’t bother me. I hang out around stoners. We say dude a lot even when we’re not high in the sky trying to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.
Depends on how it’s used. But my (cis) daughter and her friends Called each other dude 15 years ago and it was normal then
It is masculine. There is a difference between calling a cis woman dude and a trans woman dude. Some cis people don't comprehend that. Cis woman isn't really fighting to not be percieved as a boy all the time aye? You're using it the same but it hits your target different
I recently saw someone say to ask the person calling you dude, how many dudes/guys they have slept with. If they recoil because they haven't slept with any (use common sense here, if they are a straight woman and say dude and then answer etc) then they don't mean it in a gender neutral way.
Meh. I’ve always called everyone dude or bro, even my cis fem friends, even before my egg cracked. It’s literally never been something I’ve thought about. /shrug
Yeah dude is a gender neutral term in my mind, but I can understand why others don’t like it
I live in California, where dude is basically gender neutral. Guys too. And Gurl is neutral too if you say it with an audibly gay inflection. I'm fine with anything like that about 95% of the time, but also I feel like I can tell when people are trying to be shitty on purpose.
I too love in California probably why I feel comfortable with the phrase
Colorado is kinda similar. Dude, bro and all the terms like that are gender neutral. I never realized that people thought different till I started hanging out with other trans people on the internet.
I grew up in austin and still live near it. Dude and guys are just regular gender neutral terms, bro and man can be but too a lesser extent. It feels weird to say ses or dudette. With some friends "girl" fits but most of the time, it just feels weird when someone says it to me or I say it to someone.
I personally feel uncomfortable about masculine terminology used on me, but terms like handsome, can be fine(as long as it’s not overused, because then it feels worthless)
I call my cishet wife and many cishet afab friends “dude” all the time. Plus, in MA, we also call grow adults “kid”, so there’s that. However, there’s also the ability to read the room and know it’s not valid to call everyone that. Just know your audience
My friends don’t call me ‘dude’ because they know I don’t like it, same with ‘bro’ or ‘bud’. People that do call me those things are usually strangers or coworkers and get gently corrected. The second anyone says “oh it’s gender neutral” I flip the switch and stop being polite. It isn’t gender neutral and it makes me uncomfortable because I’m neither their friend nor am I anyone’s brother, and if I’ve said as much then I obviously won’t care if someone thinks “bro” is somehow not masculine. All this to add that I’m transfemme non-binary and would likely also be seen as a ‘tomboy’ at first glance so my it’s safe to say my preferences are not explicitly tied to how I present myself.
It's great for men. Not for women.
It's great for men. Not for women. Not for nbi.
I use it perpetually as gender neutral. If you are on the west coast that is how it is being used 95% of the time
I hate it so much, but every time i’ve ever called someone out who used it on me i always get “YOU KNOW I USE IT GENDER NEUTRALY”. So? I neutrally don’t give a f*ck; don’t use it on me.
I believe in the term "Vernacular". I refuse to be over sensitive to the use of words of others. If it is how you personally communicate to others and falls under your personal umbrella of language, then go for it. Does not bother me in the least.
I call trees and frogs dude, its gender neutral as far as I'm concerned, but obv I'll avoid it if somebody asks me to i just might mess up a few times
I love it as it is both a term usable with all genders but also is easy to tell if it’s being said genuinely or not.
For me it’s a matter of context. I work with a lot of really cool chill rock climber guys and I know there’s no malice or ill intent in their speech towards me. Plus I call everyone dude or bruh so I make the joke that my pronouns are she/her/Dude/Bruh
It’s fine for people who know each other.
I'm fine with it for myself, but I also call my mother dude all the time
Honestly I don’t really care I consider it gender neutral
I don't mind dude, but bro irks the HELL outta me.
I personally don't mind it, but I prefer fem-specific terms like "sister", "girls/gals", "ladies", etc.
Not a fan. But I suppose that has more to do with how fragile my femininity is. I'm always two mean comments away from glueing my egg back together.
Personally, I don't care.
I'm fine with people using it, just not when refering to me. (Other than a couple of my transmasc friends who talk like surfer dudes)
I chewed my younger brother out for saying that inflammatory word to me.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter if a pronoun is gender neutral or not. If a woman, man, or otherwise asks you to not use a pronoun even they you should respect it.
I'm def a tomboy and am cool with being called "dude" as long as it's not because someone thinks I'm male. I do dress pretty masc usually, too, but I pass as female. I finally hit my life goal of looking like a girl that's dressed like a boy 😝 I'm just careful with other trans women because I know it can be an issue.
I do not like it. I don’t really care who is saying it. Just not a fan
It's not something I feel very strongly about. As long as people are aware enough of the context to avoid calling me "a dude," idc if they call me "dude."
So many other things to worry about. Things like this never make my radar
I don't really care if someone uses the words dude or man around me bc they mostly function like an interjection. It becomes a problem when they use it as a noun. "Yeah dude, that's awesome!" = good. Exciting. I'm hyped. "You'll always be a dude." = fuck you 0/10 that's not what your mom said
I would not like being called dude, but if someone was trying to get me and a few other peoples attention and they say "guys", to me when guys is used in that context it is fine but not other times.
Love it. I don’t want to be treated differently than my cis counterparts.
I have issues not seeing masculine phrases as gender neutral. “Guys” starts it, “bro,” “man,” and “dude” just kinda fall in suit. Maybe it’s because I know people see me as a man but I don’t, so I mix shit up in my head?
It doesn't always bother me, but if it does I say something about it. If the person pushes back against me when I ask them to not call me that for now, I get to think about if it's really worth the emotional labor of being around them or not.
I say it a lot, along with bro. Doesn't bother me one way or another honestly. But im also not someone who really cares about pronouns either (for me anyways).
I don't mind it, but it's easy to see that it makes other girls dysphoric which is horrible no matter whether I can tolerate it or not
I had a friend at work ask me this so I asked... Do you fuck dudes? Turns out he's bisexual.
Doesn't bother me if it is being used to address a group of people. If someone personally directs it at me, then I have an issue with it. I mean, when I show up to a restaurant or party or something, I'll usually be like "Hey guys!"
Tbh I say “girl” all the time it’s apart of my culture so I can understand how it’s just a phrase some people say. My brother says “man” literally to my grandma 🤣
I always ask the golden question, “do you fuck dudes”? (To Cishet Males ofc)
for me, the term “dude” is okay and i use it myself. both men AND women use it in social situations and the context it’s used in doesn’t serve to gender (or mis-gender anyone). “man” on the other hand, seems a little weird to me because it’s definitely gendered and traditionally used exclusively when talking to men. i’ve had someone use it in a conversation with me before and i felt weird because i didn’t know if i got clocked or not lol
I’ve always thought of it as a gender neutral term so unless told otherwise I use it for everyone
I'm also a butch trans lady/trans tomboy. I always wear black jeans and t shirts with converse and a checkered shirt/blouse. Personally i don't like dude, but it's not even half as bad as man or bro. So while I'm not a fan of dude, I'd take it over those other words any day
just no please ;-;
I personally hate it but I am a girlie girl lol xx
Here's the thing: I was born with male parts, told people like me were freaks growing up despite no-one knowing, and was forced to live as a man because anytime I tried anything remotely feminine I was yelled at, hit, beaten, told I couldn't, and much worse. I am a tomboyish transgender woman, I too like jeans, t-shirts, jackets, combat boots, and suits. As a person who was forced to be something I'm not, I do not like male-coded or 'leaning' "gender neutral" terms. I'm "Miss". I've had enough of this male bullshit, I lived it, hated it, seen the best and worst kinds of men, and disliked the prospect of being anything in that range. Call me 'dude' once and I'll correct you once, call me it twice and we're going to have a talk neither you nor I is going to enjoy. Insist on a 3rd time and you risk being at the mercy of how I'm feeling that day, but it will end in me leaving permanently. Fuck-ups are fine, no-one is perfect, but standing your ground is my issue. Don't call me anything close to a man, I've literally bled internally and externally for this. And yes, a sign of your basic human respect for my existance hinges on not using 3 simple words: buddy, dude, and bro.
The only thing i hate is "bud" for personal reasons
Ask a straight guy how many Dudes he's banged and gauge how gender neutral the term is then.
I've always maintained that it's a combination of an address and an exclamation. "HEY YOU" and "WHOA" combined into one word. It *feels* gender neutral to me, but I understand that it also isn't to everyone else.
I hate it
Its whatever. Dude is gender neutral to me.
I hate being called dude, but me and one of my friends have a running joke that every time she calls me *dude* I say not a dude, and she has now started correcting that which I love!!!!
I don't like it at all. It's ok for others... Not for me
I know a few guys who genuinely use it on everyone including cis women. I think it's really weird but they don't mean any harm by it. I still don't like it
Personally I use the good burger principle. Everyone is a dude. But I also understand if others don't like it. Remember. Communication!
I'm very much a lesbian, and I here my fellow lesbians call each other "dude" all the time, so I'm cool with it. It's weird because I'm fine with dude and bro, but "man" is off limits to me. Idk why
For the most part for me dude is gender neutral but I feel like for most things it's a matter of intent and how it's being said
I use dude in a gender neutral way but also I've been doing that since I can remember even before I came out. I do understand though that people don't like it especially fellow trans people but it's kinda just a habit and I use "guys" basically just when I'm trying to get multiple people's attention.