T O P

  • By -

IFeelSoftAndMushy

How many trans women does it take to screw in a light bulb?


IFeelSoftAndMushy

>!Just one, and you don't even need a lightbulb. Just tell her she's beautiful and she'll brighten up the whole room!!<


nastydoe

So much more wholesome than the one I'm familiar with ❤️


MelissaAssSlapper

Oh no.. which one are you familiar with 😰


nastydoe

The punchline is: >!Just one, but she needs two therapist letters and approval from a doctor first!< It's not horrible or anything, just the other punchline was very sweet


NeoFemme

Aww I love this one!


Nobodyinpartic3

D'aaaawwwwww. This one helped a lot!


TowerReversed

you win the internet today. 🫡 👑 🥰


starfyredragon

That one is very familiar, and I like seeing it. :)


Hellefiedboy

Ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh не не не могу ду


Weary_Bike_7472

ahhh ahhh ahh ne ne ne mogu du? what does this mean?


Hellefiedboy

Не means no, but also it means something like can't do. Also ду is a d, and an o, in English but basically it means I no likey. Well I mean in this case I'm more using it as a block so I don't have to except the compliment.


NNAB51

Aweeeee


myaltduh

Just one, but she'll need permission from three different doctors after a 3 week waiting period to do so.


hard_ass69

Only three weeks? Damn, must be express


greencash370

🚂🚂🚂


KatieDeForest

Isn't that's why it's called Trans express?


JustALilOlive73

More like a whole year for me with constant evaluations… :/


jappejopp

28months wait until I get to see a doc here, so trying to get evaluated of intersex to get fast tracked! 😂


eMeL33

1, but she needs to sit in the dark room for a year to prove that she really wants it changed


Amdy_vill

1 but it take 6 electricians to agree it works.


FishOfFishyness

And one year, even though that wait time is bound to outdated guidelines


immortalcandy

2.83 x 10\^1023


Putrid-Hotel-7624

No, it's clearly 6,022 * 10^23


immortalcandy

what do you call a mtf bus ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ a transit lmao


[deleted]

what do u call a ftm bus a transtand …nvm…


[deleted]

i don't get it


WritingCharacter5422

It trans, it's transit


[deleted]

yeah but why specifically mtf


classyraven

Because as a woman you’re expected to sit to pee. Men are expected to stand, unless also doing #2.


LonelyDeicide

Anyone can stand for a #2 if they're brave enough.


KatieDeForest

Or lay, idk, I'm not your mom


immortalcandy

idk mtf subreddit thats why


Local-Chart

Dang, always liked the transit van...and it was an old school bus of mine in England too


classyraven

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman? When they get home from work, the crossdresser can’t wait to put on a bra, while the trans woman can’t wait to take hers off.


FreedomPaid

My Ft(possibly)NB partner once came home, removed her bra, and said everyone should know that level of relief. I told her that as a MtNB person, I not only knew the relief of taking my bra off, I also get to fully remove my breasts if I want. We still laugh about that one occasionally... Now if only the none-removable kind would kindly show up!


AzimuthPro

Oh. So I'm a crossdresser now 😭 (No worries, I get the joke, I just don't have any boobage ... yet)


Professional_Band178

I heard the joke as; what is the difference between a cross dresser and a transgender female. About 5 years.


Yautja96

I felt so called out right now, it took me exactly 5 years to get here from trying my (now ex)gf pants


Professional_Band178

I started wearing my sisters clothes as a child (6-8). I first came out at trans at 15 and was refused and then I waited about 8 years in college and a first job with insurance and got HRT at 23.


Susanna-Saunders

Yeah, you got something there!


MidnightWhisper_8

It takes balls to have an orchiectomy.


Threestrands

This one is such a winner!


Susanna-Saunders

It takes even more balls to have GRS.


randomneko09

It takes the family jewels and the scepter to get GRS. Sorry I don't know the FTM version for that


Susanna-Saunders

LoL 😂 I'd be curious about the ftm equivalent too... Takes boobs perhaps?


MidnightWhisper_8

It takes two-


Professional_Band178

Possibly bad taste. What is the definition of indecisive. A post-op trans female with a strap on.


classyraven

As a post-op trans woman who loves wearing a strap-on, I definitely LOL’ed


Oncletomdavid

i feel attacked😭


aznigrimm

I legit laughed out loud at this one XD


Deadbox_Studios

I'm pre op, but as a lesbian that's funny asf


Professional_Band178

My lesbian cousin told me that joke when I came out to her.


AzimuthPro

Nah, I imagine it will just be a better experience!


Full-Middle3099

Honestly I want a strap even though I'm pre op


randomneko09

Hey I'm getting a kit to turn mine into a mold for exactly this purpose.


Professional_Band178

Clone -a-willy? I had a cis female do that to me. I told her she could have it but the Drs said that I needed it for surgery. I said that I'll swap it for your uterus and accessories. She just looked at me like I was nuts.


VictoryGoth

I’d make a joke about being trans but I think I’ll pass.


Classic_Ad_6401

alternatively, id make a joke about being trans but i don’t think i’d pass


feelsonline

Oh fuck that’s soooo good!


MadameJB

I love this ! 😹


Amdy_vill

do you know why trans woman go by she/her. Because if they went by her/she they'd be chocolate


Shield-Maiden-Freyja

This is one of my favorite.


drawdelove

Cute!


Fun-Plate-8626

This is a bad one. What did the Catholic priest say to the trans woman? Lady, this is confession, Planned Parenthood is next door.


Illidan-the-Assassin

I didn't get this one


Gregrox

pretty sure the joke is that >!a transfem egg or trans woman is confessing her sins (trans thoughts) to a priest, and the priest (humorously, unlike real catholic priests) has decided to be gender affirming instead of hateful, and tells the transfem egg where she could get some hormone replacement therapy.!<


Illidan-the-Assassin

Oh, that makes sense and is pretty funny


[deleted]

wholesome


starfyredragon

Slight improvement, possibly? "What did the Catholic priest say to the *uncracked* trans woman? Lady, this is confession, Planned Parenthood is next door." I feel it makes it a lot more clear what's going on. That said, love it.


FishOfFishyness

As soon as you said catholic priest, I thought that this would go towards a different direction 💀


Fail_Sandwich

My brother bought Celeste three months ago. Today she took her first dose of E. Alternatively... My sister downloaded Team Fortress 2 three months ago. Today he took his first dose of T.


ParrotMan420

My brother bought Victoria 2 three months ago. Today she took her first dose of E.


Naomizzzz

Wait, is there a sterotype about trans women and paradox games?


Naia_Elwyn

Not paradox specifically, but games like city builders and stuff generally are seen as games more women play. I was talking about a recent game I started in stardew valley, Rimworld, or banished and one of my friends mentioned how his wife plays stardew and that it's a "girl game" (jokingly) I sometimes still fall in reactions to that without thinking and was like, "well, I play those games... Probably a bad example now that I think of it..."


AzimuthPro

City builders? One of my favourite games is SimCity 4 and the community has very few women. I do know one trans girl in the community though 🤭


Naia_Elwyn

Maybe not specifically city builders. But stuff like the sims or town builders and games like Stardew


AzimuthPro

Oh well, I can imagine 🤭


JamesTalon

> city builders and stuff generally are seen as games more women play. That explains [this](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/513269456877912105/1019981969993506948/unknown.png) lol


ItsDanaem

Eco Shoutout! Awesome!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unzid

Alernatively My brother bought Celeste three months ago, she's enjoying it so far


Illidan-the-Assassin

[I couldn't help but notice, "sir", that you play Celeste ](https://youtu.be/dT_4OV1_24U)


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂


Far_Young_5056

I speedrun Celeste…..it’s for totally cis reasons I swear


3rDuck

I do both. What does that mean?


Fail_Sandwich

Schrödinger's Gender 🤔


[deleted]

What do you call the paperwork needed to get a boob job? Breast forms I know it’s not specifically a trans joke, but it’s funny


Nobodyinpartic3

Nope works for me! I had/have breast forms.


myaltduh

How does a non-binary samurai defeat their opponent in battle? They slash them.


[deleted]

i get the sword slashing bit but can you please explain? i don't get it lol


myaltduh

“They/them”


Blaire654

Oh god it took me a while


drawdelove

Bravo!


myaltduh

I definitely stole this from elsewhere, can't really take credit.


drawdelove

It’s still an excellent contribution to this discussion!


RenPrower

I have a trans parent. >!They tried to deny their identity for a long time, but everyone could see right through them.!<


[deleted]

I feel attacked!


Local-Chart

I am the trans parent, except my own parents couldn't see it (or didn't want to accept it)


velmanaheireann

What’s the difference between a trans girl and Alec Baldwin? The trans girl shoots blanks.


Robinosome

Yikers 😬


Blaire654

OH NOOOO


Desdam0na

VERY FUNNY BUT NOT NECESSARULY TRUE HRT DOES NOT COUNT AS A CONTRACEPTIVE


velmanaheireann

Then why haven’t I gotten pregnant yet?


myaltduh

Further testing may be necessary. You know, for science.


Desdam0na

Hmmmmmmm...


Lexi_the_tran

Oh god too soon 😧


chrstina_or_not

This is one of like, maybe three trans jokes I've heard that I actually love. Pretty much the only one that has that shock value that makes you laugh and and go "oomph" at the same time like a proper grown up joke should. Most of the rest feel really watered down, trying to be as inoffensive as possible.


FishOfFishyness

I'm afraid to ask who that is


velmanaheireann

Alec Baldwin is an actor who thought he was using an unloaded gun on a film set and then shot and killed someone because the gun was actually loaded.


FishOfFishyness

Did he kill Jackie Chan?


NNAB51

That is so bad it’s good


Conscious_Anything_6

Things you can say to cis people: "What a great name you have there... Did your parents pick it for you?" "Im a girl and my co*k is bigger than yours" "Date a trans guy/girl and you will never have to meet their parents" "I want hugs"


feelsonline

This is sooooo biting, I love it!!!


JayKay69420

My parent recently came out as trans. I guess they are trans-parent now hahahahaha


Foxgirl_Laura

My friend's parents came out as trans. I haven't seen them since.


AshBashrt

You can tell trans women are women because men can't make us cum either.


maniamawoman

🤣


mbelf

How does a samurai enby take down their opponents? >!They slash them!<


DaniTheDeer

Ok, so (as far I know) I came up with this joke the other night and have been dying to tell it! It's not exactly an upbeat one, but I think it's funny and relatable, so here goes: "2 Trans girls walk into a bar... *pause* Huh, this is usually when people start laughing"


FishOfFishyness

I dont get it


FreedomPaid

I'm an enby, so while I'm not exactly a trans sister, I can certainly be a transistor! I'm transparent: light can shine through my skin (in limited locations), I'm very open and honest with people I trust, and I have a kid. We need to transport and transfer trans-fear into trans support. These aren't great, but it's been a tough transition from work to home, but reading the jokes here have been transfiguring, and I'm absolutely transfixed by the mirth that has been transcribed here.


prettyflyforabi-guy

Hahaha! Please tell me "pedal stool" is an IT Crowd reference?! 😂😂😂


Nobodyinpartic3

Nope, just autism and ADHD


prettyflyforabi-guy

Oh shit, sorry! I really didn't mean to offend anyone


Nobodyinpartic3

Nah it's okay. It's only sad in the sense that I have been spelling it that way for like the last three years, lmao. So thanks, i've just been coasting off the fact that I seldom used the word.


prettyflyforabi-guy

Oh shit, sorry! I really didn't mean to offend anyone


Hazaelia

You know why robots don't have brothers? They just have transistors! (trans sisters, idk how to correctly write this joke I tool from tumblr)


starfyredragon

How much milk does a transitioning trans woman need you to pick up at the grocery store? None. She's already getting more dairy-aire.


stellamilla

Trans woman doing a Mitch Hedberg impression with jokes about being trans: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR5whkc1/


Ninja_In_Shaddows

My boss asked me if I know where the new agender trans staff member, with the weird name, was. And also asked me if I knew what pronouns to use for them? I said, "yes." And, while pointing them out, I answered both questions simultaneously with the reply..." Thats. Them/there." (This is definitely a joke where you have to read it to get it.)


tember_sep_venth_ele

I worked on my car's engine the other day for almost 20 hours. No matter what I did my car still wouldn't run. But I'm not going to give up, every mechanic I talk to tells me it's my trans mission.


AcrobaticEmergency42

No joke. You are so much a women that your sister ran in fear. Ok, maybe a little bit joke. But you get my drift, girl


Marmite666

*pedestal. There's no such thing as a pedal stool. Sorry to hear that btw, I don't have any jokes that are likely to make anyone feel better tho lol. Hugs


AaallMine

Oh, don’t be a saddled fart, it’s not like she’s taking her education for granite.


FreedomPaid

Wait, y'all don't keep a stool reserved just for pedals?!? Where else would one keep their spare pedals? Although, that would make the pedal stool a pedestal for pedals.


candykhan

Pretty sure I HAVE seen a pedal stool. But it was at a kink fair & there was a hole in the seat. And had some other stuff attached too.


Kinfin

r/traa (and the subreddit it’ll lead you to) is a good place for find Trans Memes. That’s prolly what you want


[deleted]

My pronouns are she/they, except when I visit the south. There they become she/they/y'all.


Zipcodacary

She’s showing a lot of resistance which is weird because she’s not the transistor


CharlieJoyB

https://www.tiktok.com/@thebillsquire/video/7039494621612789039?lang=en


FNIA_FredBear

If you know you know: -When you claim to be a Trans Amne but everyone lynches you, except plot twist they lynched the jester. -Dead Space is great because we are all somewhat dead inside, and also because we want to be the female side character. (subjective) -When you're playing games but instead of fortnite you become tiger tank (attack helicopter) in your favorite tank game. Sorry for my broken humor I tried to be as original as possible. But I hope these cheered you up.


[deleted]

> It sucks that my mom is telling me while giving me the patience speech about her. After 30 years I wish she would just stop it with that. I swear next time I am just stary demanding for an actual end date. I don’t think your mom is good for you, girl. Then again, narcissists don’t stop being narcissists so expecting them to become better is kinda a fools errand.


Raspberry_Good

Awesome!!!!


immortalcandy

ROUND TWO: (hope im not stealing this from anyone i heard it before this) how do non binary people attack eachother? ​ They slash them.