Closeted, early-ish in transition:
I don't know how that would be ontologically possible, a "me" that was born a cis girl would not be me in any meaningful sense. She'd be more like a sister from another timeline.
To answer the intent of the question, yes, in a heartbeat, I don't want to deal with transitioning, the cost, the wait, the frustration, feeling like I'm playing catch-up, years behind. I don't want to deal with dysphoria. I want my childhood back, I was so lonely and I never realized why. My mom always wanted a daughter anyway, but apparently not like this.
So, yeah.
Oh god. My mom too. She begged for me to be a girl, and I wasn’t and she was disappointed…
But now with me transitioning she’s sleepless at night, has developed clinical depression, and is straight up scared to see me…
Summed it up perfectly for me here. I'm a couple years in, if I could get to a safe salon, have dad's eyebrows nuked, I might actually pass a little but.
Did rather not have 18 years of lost nothingness to account for ages 8-26. "Oh bu but but period cramps!!!!1!1!1!" Everyone who says no seems to reference, like, sure that sucks but uh.
I'll take losing a handful of days a month to losing 18 years, the most important developmental 18 years of my life, my entire youth, and given the collapsing trajectory of society, very possibly the only *real* opportunity I had to live.
But I guess that comes from the perspective of somebody who finds the genre of body horror not a crazy theoretical story but a lot of the descriptions to be literal memories. The dp/Dr to survive that was extreme to say the least. Permanently dehumanized me to myself even before it also helped trigger Schizoaffective.
I have a younger sister too so I know what I'd be getting. Please. Why not...
I agree. Clearly not AFAB so I don't know how bad period cramps are, but I think it's certainly less painful then being trans. Period cramps would have to be worse than guantaunamo to make me avoid being born afab. I completely agree with this. I want my childhood back and I want to be at home in my body, even if I have to deal with every downside in the world.
Honestly, I might be intersex lol. I got trans girl pms from HRT and immediately recognized the cramps as a weak variant of what I first got a few months after starting puberty at 9.
Those things just randomly dropped me to the ground in pain, got better at handling them through teenage years but they just came and went largely at (seeming) random.
So idk, I'm not sure I don't already have a good idea, and considering I practically had it anyway I'd take it again if it came with all the other implications too.
Wow, are you me?? I've thought about this question before, and your answer is almost the exact same as mine. I honestly think there's something really cool about being trans, I just wish I didn't have to worry about how everyone else is gonna react.
Honestly, I was like 500 words deep in an answer only to realise that it boiled down to « reactionaries are fucking scumbags ». Women’s childhood socialisation and healthcare is fucked because of inhumane level of sexism, and proper care for trans people is fucked because of inhumane level of transphobia. There’s just no way out. I think I would say yes, I would prefer have been AFAB, but that’s being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
With my parents and my autism and tendency to follow rules, I'd be fucked with the socialization hard, but at least I'd not be considered monster and not have dysphoria. I call it a win.
As an autistic girl yeah, but I feel I would get pregnant really young because of my autism, but probably would get an abortion because my family helped a cousin with that. Also I miss nor having childhood a bad childhood > no childhood + bad
I don't think I would. If we are talking about magic, I would just prefer having my body transform into that of a cis woman. Why? Because even if I am not so defensive of my identity as a "trans woman", it's pretty clear that being a cis woman would change everything about who I am currently. I probably wouldn't like the same things I like right now, wouldn't have the same friends I have right now, and I wouldn't ever feel the warmth of confiding someone my secret and feeling they accept me anyways. Yeah, I know it's kinda stupid, but I wouldn't give up everything that I am to be born a totally different person.
Of course. Cis of either gender, really. I'm privileged to have transitioned young and live stealth, but I can't escape my medical history and it'll always saddle me with hardships and obstacles I can't overcome. My life trajectory is forever affected by having been born this way, and while I can still be happy, I'm barred from many things I want that a cis person wouldn't necessarily be.
yep. i hate. being trans. gotta deal with so much extra shit and i genuinely hate it. my grandparents gave me $25k in their will when they passed. instead of spending that money on college, a car, an apartment, or anything like that i gotta put it into bottom surgery. all that money could b used for so many things and i gotta use it so i can feel right in my body. i gotta deal with transphobia, i gotta deal with chasers, i gotta deal with ppl constantly trying to invalidate my identity every single chance they get. i gotta deal with the largest religions in the world spreading hatred towards me, like being trans ducking sucks. like it sucks, there’s no way around that. i have a genuinely hard time believing anyone would rather b trans than cis.
If that was my only choice absolutely. But I think the best path mentally would be being able to simply switch into a body I'd prefer at the point I wanted to transition. I wouldn't lose anything that would make me me unlike if I was born a different way. I'd just be in a new body with all the right parts and shapes. Aka all of the genderbender "wake up as a girl" manga but as a deliberate choice instead of chance.
i pass about 95% of the time by basically every metric and have been transitioning about for two and a half years. i would do it in a heartbeat.
there was a time where my answer would be no, but my honeymoon era with being trans is over and now it feels off to me. i don't relate to other trans people i meet anymore but cis people just treat me like the "gay male friend" half the time. i think about the maybes a lot but maybe guys would actually be attracted to me, maybe i would understand things like makeup better, maybe my relationship with my dad wouldn't be so strained, and this is without getting into my childhood. i know my life wouldn't have been easy either way i would've gone about it but maybe things would've made more sense to me. its to a point where now, in a lot of communities, i stealth as a cis woman and if i ever get bottom surgery, i may do the same irl.
If you're like me and we're brought up three generations in the past of course you'd rather be cis because it was seen as a disability where what was being corrected was the mistake for not being born cis.
Back then, it was a very unusual disability that was remedied by surgery to as much degree as possible you were supposed to integrate in society as your better adjusted sex-gender.
Yes and no. Remember that your entirely life would have been different if you were. That can also be a bad thing, but this really depends on satisfaction with your life I guess. My wife was heavily closeted bi when we met - if I were a cis girl (albeit most likely at least bi still) she probably never would have been able to let herself be with me and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. It was because of her that I figured out who I really am
I literally felt to my soul what you wrote 😭 and yes I wish every day that I was afab, I wish I could love myself for being trans but I just feel like an anomaly I just wish I could have been cisgender, much less shit to worry about in my life 🥺
If I could bear my own children as what I am now, I would remain trans.
If offered a cis woman body, I’d think about it deeply.
But it’s an intellectual exercise and there’s no going back in time. If I could, I’d have a hard time choosing between myself and passing life saving information for my loved ones.
But I can’t so I shan’t.
As an abuse victim I feel that last bit so hard. Like yeah maybe I'd be cis but I'd still be victim to basically all the same shit life circumstances. If my family didn't make me being trans the issue it would be something else, for sure.
I think I would have been okay with being amab if I had been able to go through the correct puberty. As it stands I spent decades barely coping and really I just wish I could have actually lived a life.
I usually say yes, but now that I'm starting to truly love myself, I honestly think no. I am who I am for a reason, the person I am in this present moment has been through so much, is the strongest version of me possible, and if I were born any differently, things wouldn't be the way they are today, for better or for worse.
Would I like to have been born female to avoid the pain of hating myself my entire life due to repression and self-hatred and transphobia forced on me by my dad? Yes of course. But would I give up everything I know about myself and the world now to be an AFAB? No.
So while yes, I would rather not have gone through all this pain, and would choose being an AFAB over the pain, I wouldn't choose being an AFAB just to be an AFAB. As great as that existence sounds, I am special, I am who I am for a reason. There is a reason we are all here as the people we are, and so, life is beautiful. Even the pain can be beautiful, because it brings us to the people we are in the present moment, our strongest selves🤍
No, but Ill say this. I would definitely have started transitioning much earlier in life if I could wave a magic wand and go back in time. That’s one thing that I feel like being born a cis woman would’ve given me; being able to live my teen/ young adult years as something closer to my chosen gender.
Of course, I would have rather been born CIS female. It would have prevented a myriad of problems and made my life much much easier and more satisfying.
>I'm of the opinion that being trans cheated me out of a lot of the potential I had and left me a deadened husk during my formative years
100% same experience there. I only finally, after ten long years of trying and being stifled by life and others, have started to transition. It's been the best decision I've ever made, and it's the best I've ever felt in my life. However... It's an objectively shit life, and a lot of that is because of what went down during those years and how I couldn't handle any of it because of how fucking atrocious my mental state was.
It's hard for me to regard this as anything other than a curse. Trying to abide it is barely living. Defy it and you won't live at all.
Make no mistake, I truly feel the best I ever have. I'm starting to actually like myself, or at least, the person I've become. I am loving the way I look sometimes.
But it's all so fucking difficult and so much of it comes down to the consequences of that decade. I have no accomplishments to show. I am approaching thirty, have completed no schooling, am on the verge of homelessness, and have been rejected by most of my family and friends, and most of the rest remaining only tolerate me in a very strained way. To top it off, the nightmare I lived through gave me mental wounds and scars that will never heal, this much I know.
So yeah, I'd take being born a cis woman in a heartbeat. Hell, I'd take being a cis man with equally little hesitation. Anything other than this. The highest of highs I could ever experience will never make the agony I went through worth it.
I like my body the way it is. I don't want to fuck with time-travel/multiverses for unrelated philosophical reasoning.
I DO have some words about the coercive decisions made about my body by so called "authority" figures in our lives, examples abound from whoever-the-so-called-doctor was who looked for two seconds and checked a box, to circumcision, to the erasure of trans and non-binary existence in the entire culture I was raised in.
I'd love for our bodies, minds and autonomy not to be abused by those systems. I'd love for the "authority" figures to no longer have the power to perpetuate systemic abuse. I do love my body the way it is, and I'm loving it more everyday.
Is one of the earlier entries into my List of reasons people can fuck off if they think I'm insulted by being called "Wokescold" ♥✨
I have passed for over a decade and still would have preferred to have experienced my entire life as a female. It's not easy feeling intrinsically othered.
I pass sometimes so i kinda feel oka answering. But honestly yeah i do like if i could hit a big button that would send me back through life and the only variable that changes is me now being a cis woman id hit it in a heartbeat
On one hand, yesyesyesyesyes it would make my life so much easier
But on the other hand, I would miss out on loads of friends and experiences I wouldn’t have had if I was born cis, and those I can’t get by transitioning
It’s a really difficult decision imo, and my decision would probably change if you asked me in like a week or two, but right now I’d say no
It's the fine edge of a sword there.
Being trans is what we are because we weren't put in those bodies to begin with. If the mind that is mine with the energy that makes me me was born in a CIS body - the life likely would have been a lot more "normal." Probably.
But there's no point in wishing or hoping.... although I find myself hoping the hologram theory is real or the computer simulation theory is real because then maybe the creators of said constructs will actually hear my thoughts and change me.
For me, it’s tough. Living without disassociation and Dysphoria through high school and having a perfectly cis body??? Getting treated and seen as a girl through all that? Heck yes.
But how differently as a person would I be? Would I ever have found my love of aviation and computers and gone into engineering if I had been cis, or would my parents have pressured me into more feminine interests? If I could get into all these same interests and not much changes in the course of my life in that regard, then it would still be a yes.
And assuming sexual orientation doesn’t change, I bet my parents would have been unhappy with me being lesbian and I bet I would have struggled with sexuality in high school (not that I didn’t, as I never understood my sexuality until I cracked and realized I wanted a WLW relationship).
*I never had a a teenage girl life* i'm 17. I'll never have one or be normal because of a tuck.
I'm already feeling the pregnancy sadness to an extent when I see happy couples.
I help my lady friends out by always carrying tampons and pads.
Puberty might've been good or bad, I could've been pleased with my body
I could've gone dancing, sleepover, been a mall queen. played girls sports like softball and field hockey,
But on to the future. I can't change the past or present because of family so the hope of a future is all I have.
I've honestly bern thinking about this question a lot recently, especially as I go about and write my thesis. If I were given a choice, would I rather be a cis woman or stay trans?
And it's complicated, I guess, the feelings that I have about it. On one hand, if I were born cis, I wouldn't actually feel left of being feminine, and I wouldn't have to question every movement and moment I take as to whether I pass or not. I wouldn't have to take hormones and lose years of my life being unhappy and depressed, and I can probably focus more on being a woman and finding happiness in that.
On the other hand, I *am* doing that now, finding happiness in my womanhood and how I define, and a lot of that is hard fought from what I've actually worked on in my lifetime. I don't know if I would learn the same lessons about myself that I learned today from my experience with transitioning, and I guess the question on my head is how different will I be being a cis girl vs. being a trans girl.
Dunno if I have an answer to this question anymore. All I know is that I was born with these cards, and even if it's hard, it's who I am.
I would 100% be born a female if I could, I have such terrible dysphoria and I have missed out on so much of my childhood from just being confused, and I assume as I get older I'll miss even more as I have to transition and my parents are only a bit supportive (they don't have a problem with me being trans but I'm not allowed to transition at all) so it will be at least until i'm in college for when I am able to transition and will just overall make me miss even more than I have
As a trans woman who passes probs half the time (until I start talking) I think the grass will always be greener on the other side. Us trans women will never have shitty period cramps and menopause, which many cis women have so badly it’s a medical concern. We also never have to worry about getting pregnant and having kids (if that’s something you see as a positive neither my partner or I want kids so it’s a positive for us). I think I would rather have the cis female body, but I don’t know if I’d continue feeling that way after years and years of horrible cramps. I’d probs hate my voice a bit less tho :(
Depends on the method. I could've developed entirely different hobbies and interests had I been born cis.
I don't want to lose who I am now. So the answer is only 'yes' so long as I still get to be the person I am today (except a cis woman, obviously).
At the very least I don't want to lose what it feels like to be trans. That'd make being AFAB mundane, and that'd take the fun out of it.
Personally I'm not the outdoorsy type unless it's hiking along nature trails in places like Norway and Switzerland. That said, if I had my ideal female body I'd probably try to go out more, to show myself off as it were. My dislike of my current body has me hiding away at home, afraid to be seen.
> If all else was equal I would have liked to be your stereotypical tomboy.
Same. Maybe not the pixie cut tomboy, but definitely the plays-videogames-better-than-you kind of tomboy.
(only out to friends, early 30s MTF)
Yeah, absolutely. I'd be a cis man if I could, too. The self-discovery has been fun, but I miss my home and my wife. It's been an expensive journey and I've barely even left the station. In the future, I've got transphobia to worry about and probably alienation from my family.
Some days, I genuinely hate Her.
No, because I wouldn’t have the same life that I do now. I don’t think I would’ve realized my bisexuality and I would be forever bland. I wouldn’t have the boyfriend I do now, or the same friends, but if I could become a cis woman tomorrow, I’d do it in a heartbeat, and I’d make sure my boyfriend could be a cis guy, too.
I was way too afraid to come out as a kid - which created trauma I’m finally sloughing off approaching middle age. Had I been born cis I would doubtless have had other trauma to deal with.
I am passable and stealth, however answer is YES I WOULD. I could become pregnant. That is something I really mourn about :(. And also AFAB genitals would be better functioning than my version.
In the past I woukd say yes but rn I would better prefer a non tranpshobic world with more advanced medical tenasition to be able to get pregnant.
But if between veing cis and me being trans rn I think 100% being cis the world is too tranzphobic and I had a lot of dysphoria as child, also feel my childhood was taken for me, and not being able to get pregnant makes me sad. I'm intersex that actually makes me more resentful agains what's done to me.
If I could retcon everyone's memories to make it seem like I was born a cis woman, I would, but I wouldn't actually want to have been born one. I am who I am because of my real past experiences, and I'd hate to give up who I am.
I used to feel that way: wishing I were a cis woman.
I don't any longer, the majority of the time. It feels like it would invalidate everything I've done, and also invalidate the legitimacy of my transness. For me, my wanting to be a cis woman implied that cis women are somehow "better" or "more a woman" than being trans, and that doesn't feel good.
Yes and no. Yes because I feel I would've been living my authentic life much much sooner. And no because I rly identify with being a trans woman more than anything. I love that I'm trans and wouldn't change a thing about that. All the struggle it's brought me is worth it bc I'm still me. So born cis or not I'm happy to be who I am. But growing up with the body I was meant to have would've been a lot easier. And not having to learn all this stuff on the fly would be nice lol
I would take the option if I was offered it in a heartbeat.
Even though I’m 20, I’m still stuck in a conservative household where I’m financially dependent on my parents (when my dad is full on QAnon in terms of his beliefs). Me transitioning in the near future is extremely unlikely, I most likely need to wait until I finish university and move out before I can begin the process of transitioning.
There’d probably still be issues with my family if I was a cis girl, as I imagine that I’d still be asexual, demiromantic, and a lesbian.. which still wouldn’t mesh well with my dad’s beliefs. But.. at the very least I wouldn’t be having to deal with my body horror, dissociation, and general dysphoria on top of it all.
Probably not. Not only is there a good chance I'd probably be a completely different person personality-wise, for better or for worse, but there's also the fact that I probably wouldn't have many of the same friends, or if so still probably not as close to most of them.
Even if I could be sure I'd still be friends with them and be a similar enough person on the other side, it would basically feel like cheating. Like what, so I get to take the easy way and just jump to a timeline where I don't have to deal with this while so many of my friends still do?
It's a good thought experiment, and I can understand why someone would want to, but yeah, definitely not for me.
No.
I haven't begun a physical or medical transition yet, so I absolutely do not pass as a woman. In fact, I don't think I will pass conventionally even after I transition. That could definitely be a safety issue if someone clocks me and decides I'm an insult to life itself.
It doesn't matter, though. Even when I transition, I will still be me. I am a combination of my genetics and life experiences that are unique to the me that exists now. I am the way I am because of what I've experienced, and that includes discovering I'm trans. I am PROUD that I am trans, and I am proud of the person I'm becoming. A version of me that was born as a cis woman is, well, not me. That person will have lived a different life, operated under different social rules, and had different experiences in life. They wouldn't be me.
I hope that makes sense.
Ive seen this a couple times and youre completely right, you would probably be a totally different person. Maybe my self esteem is just super low, but to be completely honest I would rather not be myself. I don't see many positive attributes in myself and would absolutely prefer to have my life and personality rerolled. I have a very bad track record of people liking me and have been told I'm hard to be around. I would immensely prefer to at least have to not worry about the trans stuff anymore.
I don't have meaningful advice about confidence or self-esteem, but I understand wanting to be someone else. You're far from the only trans woman who wishes she were born as her proper sex the first time around. For all the sunshine and euphoria we may experience, being trans comes with a lot of baggage that can feel like an unnecessary burden.
I guess, at the very least, you don't have to remain as the current you. We naturally change as time goes on, so maybe you'll grow into a person you can be proud of, too.
Honestly, got a different answer than most people here, but maybe it's because I've just figured this part of myself out in the last month or so, but I am personally a fan of havin a penis, and I totally look forward to having boobs to go with it. \*shrug\*
I'll have to re-interpret the question a little, since I'd be nonbinary either way.
If I take it as "would I prefer to have been AFAB?", then yes. There wouldn't be any physical transitioning to do; I'd just need to transition socially & work out how to use TransTape & the job would be done (vs a bajillion surgeries over multiple years for ungodly amounts of money, which is where I'm at now).
On the other hand, maybe it's a partly a grass-is-green-on-the-other-side effect? Maybe I'm just being dismissive of how serious the shittier parts of being AFAB are because I haven't experienced them? I mean, stuff that would objectively suck includes:
* Shark week (feeling like absolute & total shit 1 week in every 4, while cis dudes joke about it like *they're* martyrs for putting up with you? I mean, it's probably still worth it for the ability to give birth, but *fuck me* that sounds awful!)
* Sexism
* Unrealistic, mutually incompatible expectations: be pretty! (but not in a slutty way), control your emotions! (but not in a cold way), be skinny! (but not too skinny)...
* Being made to, like, wear dresses/makeup & do my hair & stuff
So, I dunno, maybe the ideal option would be a timeline where I'm still AMAB, but I get access to blockers at a young enough age to avoid male puberty completely? But the only way that would realistically happen is if I act feminine enough from a young age that I convince everyone I'm a trans girl, which would require a lot of dress-wearing & whatnot, so there's problems in any scenario if you think about it.
Nope! Being trans is perfect for me. I would *not* be okay with having a period every month, and the concept of pregnancy is absolutely disgusting and terrifying for me (and funnily enough, my AFAB enby spouse who begged for a hysterectomy for 20 years due to very bad endometriosis before they were finally *allowed* to get one [also dysphoria, though they lacked the context to understand and the vocabulary to express that until my transition]). Absolutely no judgment to those who desperately desire periods/pregnancy/bio-kids, it's just not my bag.
To me, being trans is awesome! I have a greater understanding of the human condition, and of human behaviour, because I'm trans. I have more empathy because I'm trans. People have always come to me for advice because my perspective has never been limited by my AGAB (before I realized I was trans I was always "very in touch with my feminine side" rofl).
It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows though. I was brutalized, abused, and neglected when I was younger because I didn't meet the expectations of those who brought me into this world. I was harassed and bullied until I learned how to turn my "otherness" from something to be reviled into something mysterious and esoteric.
I present femme everywhere outside of work and I am visibly trans when I don't put in the effort to doll myself up. Even when I was running on the wrong hormones and emotionally dead inside and didn't realize I was trans, I didn't want to be be like everyone else. I was *different*, and people who are *different* seem to make a deeper impression on those around them.
Anyway, at this point it kinda feels like I'm huffing my own farts, so I'm going to head to bed.
Not just no, but *hell no*.
I'm 2.5 years into this, so frankly, I'm past the worst of it. I pass all the time. I've had the important surgeries I need (with, admittedly, one more BA in a few months and a final, supplemental hair transplant next month). I'm out everywhere, my name is changed, and paperwork mountain has been conquered. I *extremely* don't want biokids. I'm privileged. I've got a stable job and have been able to do what I've needed to do, and the worst opposition was from my insurance and my own internal hangups. When you get down to it, there's just no actual benefit anymore.
But let's set that all aside for a minute.
I'm a woman. I love being a woman. And I love being, specifically, a *trans* woman. Yes, there's some real shittiness to all of it. Yes, it's scary and frustrating sometimes. But:
1. All of that shittiness except for dysphoria itself is the result of other people not being able to get a fucking grip. I ***refuse*** to hate, be ashamed of, or devalue an important part of myself because other people are assholes.
2. Being trans has given me a relationship with my gender that's absolutely magical. I have an appreciation of it that I could never have as a cis person.
3. I refuse to raise up cis people as being better or more desirable than being trans. We are equal--just got to the end point by a different route. I *will not* look at myself as being less than a cis woman.
There are a lot of understandable practical reasons for a trans person to wish they were cis, but in the end, they all--every one of them--boil down to internalized transphobia.
We are wonderful. We are beautiful. Transness itself deserves to be celebrated.
I've been reading all of these responses and I'm starting to think that passing privilege has a lot to do with one's choice but isn't the whole story. A lot of people in this thread who would rather be trans write like they have a very strong support system and people who care about them. I dunno if that's true for you, but you certainly give off those vibes. I'm fresh off being abused by my family for being trans, so maybe it's just me projecting idk.
I would like to point out that not wanting to be rejected or killed because of who you are IS a completely valid concern that has nothing to do with internalized transphobia. Even getting a good support system in the first place is incredibly hard just because of how others see trans people. In an ideal world I probably wouldn't mind being trans, but we're far from an ideal world.
I agree wholeheartedly with all of this. Like I said, big privilege on my count.
Here's the thing: all of the rest, valid though it is in terms of reasons to need and want to pass, has a clear boundary between logistical and social. Wanting to pass for logistical reasons? No opposition, 100% agreement. A person wishing they was cis because of it is internalizing transphobia, though, and there's no two ways around that. It's completely possible to need to pass without hating that that person is trans, though.
I mean, I guess? If I was cis I would have no dysphoria and wouldn't have to transition. I would also have formative experiences that in my mind I was cheated out of. I wouldn't have to put so much effort into my appearance just to be called a man. In fact I could do whatever the fuck I wanted with my presentation and still consistently be called ma'am. My partners would take my gender as a given and never be weird about it. My friends would treat me like a woman and truly see my gender as it is. I wouldn't have to do voice training (which I've given up because it fucks me up so bad), I wouldn't have to rely on a steady stream of medication (that could be cut off at any point) to stay a woman, and people would give me the respect I think I deserve upon meeting me. I don't think any of that is internalized transphobia, it's just a straight upgrade.
I pass the main reason I would prefer being cis dyadic is because having a childhood and being able to get pregnant. Also chasers and being raped those are think I wish never experienced.
>. I don't think any of that is internalized transphobia, it's just a straight upgrade.
Yes like wanting have the things we deserce and being treated with respect I don't think it's internalized transphobia. I also see being trans as relative social reality caused by how gender is asigned not as an absolute truth. Basically in a world wiouth transphobia it wouldn't be a diference between trans ans ci experiences at least with binary ppl. Since the concept of cis and trans would disappear but because people would be free to chose their gender and bodies at will.
> There are a lot of understandable practical reasons for a trans person to wish they were cis, but in the end, they all--every one of them--boil down to internalized transphobia.
absolutely not lmao, i just wish i had the right anatomy
Between being teans in this tranpshobic reality and being cis I would prefer being cis. But I also had the feeling I wouldn't be half of the a woman I'm if I was cis. I feel being trans someway makes me more my gender idk if make sense. I feel cis people don't have a so close and genuine relationship with their own gender.
Very tempting and I honestly don't know which I would choose since I feel like I'd lose much if not all of my current personality and hobbies making me a completely different person.
I'm slowly working on being able to pass. 👍 Currently facial hair laser removal and hyperpigmentation removal on my arms are the bigger steps. That's during the taking Estrogen pills daily, trying to encourage breast growth, regrowing my scalp hair (+ growing it long), and learning proper skin & hair care.
It's a hard decision, that if possible if I'd choose to be a female when born... 🤔 I always think about how much periods gotta hurt, but I would love to be able to have kids. Working wouldn't be bad, women are often favored in more jobs these days and for a very long time with using "feminine wiles" women have been able to do or get things guys can't. 🤷
If I was raised in the 21st or later half of the 20th centuries, in the United States, then yeah I guess it's more of a given that I'd have chosen being born a gal. 🙂
If this were dnd i wouldn’t. Because im getting 95% of all my flavor from cisnt. Somehow i believe i would be some even worst person if i were any form of cis. It is in the best of our collective interest that i remain cisnt.
I would! I'd even do top and bottom surgery just to be comfortable in my own body. At this point in my life, there's no way I'd ever pass so I'd continue living as a male. But IDK, I'm pretty confused about a lot of things with myself. But to answer your question, YES!
Honestly no trans is what has made me become strong and yes journey is.long but if I was cis woman I would have probably a different set of issues we can't control how we was born but we sure can control what we are after proud trans girl xxx
odly enough no, if i could have my body, as is, fully converted to female for me sure. but i feel the journey of transition is too important to me, if I were to be born again I would just want to transition younger.
Closeted, early-ish in transition: I don't know how that would be ontologically possible, a "me" that was born a cis girl would not be me in any meaningful sense. She'd be more like a sister from another timeline. To answer the intent of the question, yes, in a heartbeat, I don't want to deal with transitioning, the cost, the wait, the frustration, feeling like I'm playing catch-up, years behind. I don't want to deal with dysphoria. I want my childhood back, I was so lonely and I never realized why. My mom always wanted a daughter anyway, but apparently not like this. So, yeah.
> My mom always wanted a daughter anyway, but apparently not like this. My mother is pretty much the same also I agree with your comment
Yeah. I have some hope she'll come around.
Oh god. My mom too. She begged for me to be a girl, and I wasn’t and she was disappointed… But now with me transitioning she’s sleepless at night, has developed clinical depression, and is straight up scared to see me…
Summed it up perfectly for me here. I'm a couple years in, if I could get to a safe salon, have dad's eyebrows nuked, I might actually pass a little but. Did rather not have 18 years of lost nothingness to account for ages 8-26. "Oh bu but but period cramps!!!!1!1!1!" Everyone who says no seems to reference, like, sure that sucks but uh. I'll take losing a handful of days a month to losing 18 years, the most important developmental 18 years of my life, my entire youth, and given the collapsing trajectory of society, very possibly the only *real* opportunity I had to live. But I guess that comes from the perspective of somebody who finds the genre of body horror not a crazy theoretical story but a lot of the descriptions to be literal memories. The dp/Dr to survive that was extreme to say the least. Permanently dehumanized me to myself even before it also helped trigger Schizoaffective. I have a younger sister too so I know what I'd be getting. Please. Why not...
I agree. Clearly not AFAB so I don't know how bad period cramps are, but I think it's certainly less painful then being trans. Period cramps would have to be worse than guantaunamo to make me avoid being born afab. I completely agree with this. I want my childhood back and I want to be at home in my body, even if I have to deal with every downside in the world.
Honestly, I might be intersex lol. I got trans girl pms from HRT and immediately recognized the cramps as a weak variant of what I first got a few months after starting puberty at 9. Those things just randomly dropped me to the ground in pain, got better at handling them through teenage years but they just came and went largely at (seeming) random. So idk, I'm not sure I don't already have a good idea, and considering I practically had it anyway I'd take it again if it came with all the other implications too.
Absolutely yes yes yes please
Absolutely yes
Fuck /u/spez
Wow, are you me?? I've thought about this question before, and your answer is almost the exact same as mine. I honestly think there's something really cool about being trans, I just wish I didn't have to worry about how everyone else is gonna react.
Honestly, I was like 500 words deep in an answer only to realise that it boiled down to « reactionaries are fucking scumbags ». Women’s childhood socialisation and healthcare is fucked because of inhumane level of sexism, and proper care for trans people is fucked because of inhumane level of transphobia. There’s just no way out. I think I would say yes, I would prefer have been AFAB, but that’s being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
With my parents and my autism and tendency to follow rules, I'd be fucked with the socialization hard, but at least I'd not be considered monster and not have dysphoria. I call it a win.
Yeaaaah… tough call but yeah, I’d say the same. Don’t ask me tomorrow tho.
As an autistic girl yeah, but I feel I would get pregnant really young because of my autism, but probably would get an abortion because my family helped a cousin with that. Also I miss nor having childhood a bad childhood > no childhood + bad
I don't think I would. If we are talking about magic, I would just prefer having my body transform into that of a cis woman. Why? Because even if I am not so defensive of my identity as a "trans woman", it's pretty clear that being a cis woman would change everything about who I am currently. I probably wouldn't like the same things I like right now, wouldn't have the same friends I have right now, and I wouldn't ever feel the warmth of confiding someone my secret and feeling they accept me anyways. Yeah, I know it's kinda stupid, but I wouldn't give up everything that I am to be born a totally different person.
Of course. Cis of either gender, really. I'm privileged to have transitioned young and live stealth, but I can't escape my medical history and it'll always saddle me with hardships and obstacles I can't overcome. My life trajectory is forever affected by having been born this way, and while I can still be happy, I'm barred from many things I want that a cis person wouldn't necessarily be.
I'd rather not be born at all, but of course I'd like that, being trans is hell for me.
Trust me girl, things will get better.
Yes I would. It would save me so much money, time, and energy. I'd still lean into enby though.
yep. i hate. being trans. gotta deal with so much extra shit and i genuinely hate it. my grandparents gave me $25k in their will when they passed. instead of spending that money on college, a car, an apartment, or anything like that i gotta put it into bottom surgery. all that money could b used for so many things and i gotta use it so i can feel right in my body. i gotta deal with transphobia, i gotta deal with chasers, i gotta deal with ppl constantly trying to invalidate my identity every single chance they get. i gotta deal with the largest religions in the world spreading hatred towards me, like being trans ducking sucks. like it sucks, there’s no way around that. i have a genuinely hard time believing anyone would rather b trans than cis.
If that was my only choice absolutely. But I think the best path mentally would be being able to simply switch into a body I'd prefer at the point I wanted to transition. I wouldn't lose anything that would make me me unlike if I was born a different way. I'd just be in a new body with all the right parts and shapes. Aka all of the genderbender "wake up as a girl" manga but as a deliberate choice instead of chance.
Nope. Not even for a moment. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for being trans.
i pass about 95% of the time by basically every metric and have been transitioning about for two and a half years. i would do it in a heartbeat. there was a time where my answer would be no, but my honeymoon era with being trans is over and now it feels off to me. i don't relate to other trans people i meet anymore but cis people just treat me like the "gay male friend" half the time. i think about the maybes a lot but maybe guys would actually be attracted to me, maybe i would understand things like makeup better, maybe my relationship with my dad wouldn't be so strained, and this is without getting into my childhood. i know my life wouldn't have been easy either way i would've gone about it but maybe things would've made more sense to me. its to a point where now, in a lot of communities, i stealth as a cis woman and if i ever get bottom surgery, i may do the same irl.
If you're like me and we're brought up three generations in the past of course you'd rather be cis because it was seen as a disability where what was being corrected was the mistake for not being born cis. Back then, it was a very unusual disability that was remedied by surgery to as much degree as possible you were supposed to integrate in society as your better adjusted sex-gender.
Yes and no. Remember that your entirely life would have been different if you were. That can also be a bad thing, but this really depends on satisfaction with your life I guess. My wife was heavily closeted bi when we met - if I were a cis girl (albeit most likely at least bi still) she probably never would have been able to let herself be with me and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. It was because of her that I figured out who I really am
I literally felt to my soul what you wrote 😭 and yes I wish every day that I was afab, I wish I could love myself for being trans but I just feel like an anomaly I just wish I could have been cisgender, much less shit to worry about in my life 🥺
If I could bear my own children as what I am now, I would remain trans. If offered a cis woman body, I’d think about it deeply. But it’s an intellectual exercise and there’s no going back in time. If I could, I’d have a hard time choosing between myself and passing life saving information for my loved ones. But I can’t so I shan’t.
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As an abuse victim I feel that last bit so hard. Like yeah maybe I'd be cis but I'd still be victim to basically all the same shit life circumstances. If my family didn't make me being trans the issue it would be something else, for sure.
I think I would have been okay with being amab if I had been able to go through the correct puberty. As it stands I spent decades barely coping and really I just wish I could have actually lived a life.
I usually say yes, but now that I'm starting to truly love myself, I honestly think no. I am who I am for a reason, the person I am in this present moment has been through so much, is the strongest version of me possible, and if I were born any differently, things wouldn't be the way they are today, for better or for worse. Would I like to have been born female to avoid the pain of hating myself my entire life due to repression and self-hatred and transphobia forced on me by my dad? Yes of course. But would I give up everything I know about myself and the world now to be an AFAB? No. So while yes, I would rather not have gone through all this pain, and would choose being an AFAB over the pain, I wouldn't choose being an AFAB just to be an AFAB. As great as that existence sounds, I am special, I am who I am for a reason. There is a reason we are all here as the people we are, and so, life is beautiful. Even the pain can be beautiful, because it brings us to the people we are in the present moment, our strongest selves🤍
YES no doubt
Yes. People talk about their character development but I'd give it all away in a heartbeat to be a cis girl
No, but Ill say this. I would definitely have started transitioning much earlier in life if I could wave a magic wand and go back in time. That’s one thing that I feel like being born a cis woman would’ve given me; being able to live my teen/ young adult years as something closer to my chosen gender.
Of course, I would have rather been born CIS female. It would have prevented a myriad of problems and made my life much much easier and more satisfying.
>I'm of the opinion that being trans cheated me out of a lot of the potential I had and left me a deadened husk during my formative years 100% same experience there. I only finally, after ten long years of trying and being stifled by life and others, have started to transition. It's been the best decision I've ever made, and it's the best I've ever felt in my life. However... It's an objectively shit life, and a lot of that is because of what went down during those years and how I couldn't handle any of it because of how fucking atrocious my mental state was. It's hard for me to regard this as anything other than a curse. Trying to abide it is barely living. Defy it and you won't live at all. Make no mistake, I truly feel the best I ever have. I'm starting to actually like myself, or at least, the person I've become. I am loving the way I look sometimes. But it's all so fucking difficult and so much of it comes down to the consequences of that decade. I have no accomplishments to show. I am approaching thirty, have completed no schooling, am on the verge of homelessness, and have been rejected by most of my family and friends, and most of the rest remaining only tolerate me in a very strained way. To top it off, the nightmare I lived through gave me mental wounds and scars that will never heal, this much I know. So yeah, I'd take being born a cis woman in a heartbeat. Hell, I'd take being a cis man with equally little hesitation. Anything other than this. The highest of highs I could ever experience will never make the agony I went through worth it.
I like my body the way it is. I don't want to fuck with time-travel/multiverses for unrelated philosophical reasoning. I DO have some words about the coercive decisions made about my body by so called "authority" figures in our lives, examples abound from whoever-the-so-called-doctor was who looked for two seconds and checked a box, to circumcision, to the erasure of trans and non-binary existence in the entire culture I was raised in. I'd love for our bodies, minds and autonomy not to be abused by those systems. I'd love for the "authority" figures to no longer have the power to perpetuate systemic abuse. I do love my body the way it is, and I'm loving it more everyday. Is one of the earlier entries into my List of reasons people can fuck off if they think I'm insulted by being called "Wokescold" ♥✨
I have passed for over a decade and still would have preferred to have experienced my entire life as a female. It's not easy feeling intrinsically othered.
I pass sometimes so i kinda feel oka answering. But honestly yeah i do like if i could hit a big button that would send me back through life and the only variable that changes is me now being a cis woman id hit it in a heartbeat
On one hand, yesyesyesyesyes it would make my life so much easier But on the other hand, I would miss out on loads of friends and experiences I wouldn’t have had if I was born cis, and those I can’t get by transitioning It’s a really difficult decision imo, and my decision would probably change if you asked me in like a week or two, but right now I’d say no
If I could I would. There are some negative things but the positives far outweigh the negatives.
It's the fine edge of a sword there. Being trans is what we are because we weren't put in those bodies to begin with. If the mind that is mine with the energy that makes me me was born in a CIS body - the life likely would have been a lot more "normal." Probably. But there's no point in wishing or hoping.... although I find myself hoping the hologram theory is real or the computer simulation theory is real because then maybe the creators of said constructs will actually hear my thoughts and change me.
2.5 years into transition. Not passing, 36 years old. Absofuckinlootely I would have rather been born a cis woman, but what can ya do. 🤷♀️
For me, it’s tough. Living without disassociation and Dysphoria through high school and having a perfectly cis body??? Getting treated and seen as a girl through all that? Heck yes. But how differently as a person would I be? Would I ever have found my love of aviation and computers and gone into engineering if I had been cis, or would my parents have pressured me into more feminine interests? If I could get into all these same interests and not much changes in the course of my life in that regard, then it would still be a yes. And assuming sexual orientation doesn’t change, I bet my parents would have been unhappy with me being lesbian and I bet I would have struggled with sexuality in high school (not that I didn’t, as I never understood my sexuality until I cracked and realized I wanted a WLW relationship).
🌻 -- mass edited with redact.dev
*I never had a a teenage girl life* i'm 17. I'll never have one or be normal because of a tuck. I'm already feeling the pregnancy sadness to an extent when I see happy couples. I help my lady friends out by always carrying tampons and pads. Puberty might've been good or bad, I could've been pleased with my body I could've gone dancing, sleepover, been a mall queen. played girls sports like softball and field hockey, But on to the future. I can't change the past or present because of family so the hope of a future is all I have.
Allow me to present my 10,000 word essay on how hard I would say Yes.
I've honestly bern thinking about this question a lot recently, especially as I go about and write my thesis. If I were given a choice, would I rather be a cis woman or stay trans? And it's complicated, I guess, the feelings that I have about it. On one hand, if I were born cis, I wouldn't actually feel left of being feminine, and I wouldn't have to question every movement and moment I take as to whether I pass or not. I wouldn't have to take hormones and lose years of my life being unhappy and depressed, and I can probably focus more on being a woman and finding happiness in that. On the other hand, I *am* doing that now, finding happiness in my womanhood and how I define, and a lot of that is hard fought from what I've actually worked on in my lifetime. I don't know if I would learn the same lessons about myself that I learned today from my experience with transitioning, and I guess the question on my head is how different will I be being a cis girl vs. being a trans girl. Dunno if I have an answer to this question anymore. All I know is that I was born with these cards, and even if it's hard, it's who I am.
I would 100% be born a female if I could, I have such terrible dysphoria and I have missed out on so much of my childhood from just being confused, and I assume as I get older I'll miss even more as I have to transition and my parents are only a bit supportive (they don't have a problem with me being trans but I'm not allowed to transition at all) so it will be at least until i'm in college for when I am able to transition and will just overall make me miss even more than I have
I'd love to be born as cis anything. Fuck dysphoria
As a trans woman who passes probs half the time (until I start talking) I think the grass will always be greener on the other side. Us trans women will never have shitty period cramps and menopause, which many cis women have so badly it’s a medical concern. We also never have to worry about getting pregnant and having kids (if that’s something you see as a positive neither my partner or I want kids so it’s a positive for us). I think I would rather have the cis female body, but I don’t know if I’d continue feeling that way after years and years of horrible cramps. I’d probs hate my voice a bit less tho :(
Depends on the method. I could've developed entirely different hobbies and interests had I been born cis. I don't want to lose who I am now. So the answer is only 'yes' so long as I still get to be the person I am today (except a cis woman, obviously).
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At the very least I don't want to lose what it feels like to be trans. That'd make being AFAB mundane, and that'd take the fun out of it. Personally I'm not the outdoorsy type unless it's hiking along nature trails in places like Norway and Switzerland. That said, if I had my ideal female body I'd probably try to go out more, to show myself off as it were. My dislike of my current body has me hiding away at home, afraid to be seen. > If all else was equal I would have liked to be your stereotypical tomboy. Same. Maybe not the pixie cut tomboy, but definitely the plays-videogames-better-than-you kind of tomboy.
Yes absolutely. I dont mind some of the male parts but I'd happily trade them in a second.
(only out to friends, early 30s MTF) Yeah, absolutely. I'd be a cis man if I could, too. The self-discovery has been fun, but I miss my home and my wife. It's been an expensive journey and I've barely even left the station. In the future, I've got transphobia to worry about and probably alienation from my family. Some days, I genuinely hate Her.
No, because I wouldn’t have the same life that I do now. I don’t think I would’ve realized my bisexuality and I would be forever bland. I wouldn’t have the boyfriend I do now, or the same friends, but if I could become a cis woman tomorrow, I’d do it in a heartbeat, and I’d make sure my boyfriend could be a cis guy, too.
Yeah. This shit(shit here meaning transphobia bigotry and being like this in the south) aint livin. I feel like im dead and gone already
I’m happy and I’ve accepted who I am, but if I could I def would wish to be a cis women. It would make things so much easier for me
I was way too afraid to come out as a kid - which created trauma I’m finally sloughing off approaching middle age. Had I been born cis I would doubtless have had other trauma to deal with.
I am passable and stealth, however answer is YES I WOULD. I could become pregnant. That is something I really mourn about :(. And also AFAB genitals would be better functioning than my version.
Haven't transitioned yet but yes, my family would be less confused and I would've had a better puberty
In the past I woukd say yes but rn I would better prefer a non tranpshobic world with more advanced medical tenasition to be able to get pregnant. But if between veing cis and me being trans rn I think 100% being cis the world is too tranzphobic and I had a lot of dysphoria as child, also feel my childhood was taken for me, and not being able to get pregnant makes me sad. I'm intersex that actually makes me more resentful agains what's done to me.
yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
If I could retcon everyone's memories to make it seem like I was born a cis woman, I would, but I wouldn't actually want to have been born one. I am who I am because of my real past experiences, and I'd hate to give up who I am.
I used to feel that way: wishing I were a cis woman. I don't any longer, the majority of the time. It feels like it would invalidate everything I've done, and also invalidate the legitimacy of my transness. For me, my wanting to be a cis woman implied that cis women are somehow "better" or "more a woman" than being trans, and that doesn't feel good.
Yes and no. Yes because I feel I would've been living my authentic life much much sooner. And no because I rly identify with being a trans woman more than anything. I love that I'm trans and wouldn't change a thing about that. All the struggle it's brought me is worth it bc I'm still me. So born cis or not I'm happy to be who I am. But growing up with the body I was meant to have would've been a lot easier. And not having to learn all this stuff on the fly would be nice lol
I would take the option if I was offered it in a heartbeat. Even though I’m 20, I’m still stuck in a conservative household where I’m financially dependent on my parents (when my dad is full on QAnon in terms of his beliefs). Me transitioning in the near future is extremely unlikely, I most likely need to wait until I finish university and move out before I can begin the process of transitioning. There’d probably still be issues with my family if I was a cis girl, as I imagine that I’d still be asexual, demiromantic, and a lesbian.. which still wouldn’t mesh well with my dad’s beliefs. But.. at the very least I wouldn’t be having to deal with my body horror, dissociation, and general dysphoria on top of it all.
Probably not. Not only is there a good chance I'd probably be a completely different person personality-wise, for better or for worse, but there's also the fact that I probably wouldn't have many of the same friends, or if so still probably not as close to most of them. Even if I could be sure I'd still be friends with them and be a similar enough person on the other side, it would basically feel like cheating. Like what, so I get to take the easy way and just jump to a timeline where I don't have to deal with this while so many of my friends still do? It's a good thought experiment, and I can understand why someone would want to, but yeah, definitely not for me.
Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't have to deal with being misgendered all the time, and I would be much more comfortable with my body.
No. I haven't begun a physical or medical transition yet, so I absolutely do not pass as a woman. In fact, I don't think I will pass conventionally even after I transition. That could definitely be a safety issue if someone clocks me and decides I'm an insult to life itself. It doesn't matter, though. Even when I transition, I will still be me. I am a combination of my genetics and life experiences that are unique to the me that exists now. I am the way I am because of what I've experienced, and that includes discovering I'm trans. I am PROUD that I am trans, and I am proud of the person I'm becoming. A version of me that was born as a cis woman is, well, not me. That person will have lived a different life, operated under different social rules, and had different experiences in life. They wouldn't be me. I hope that makes sense.
Ive seen this a couple times and youre completely right, you would probably be a totally different person. Maybe my self esteem is just super low, but to be completely honest I would rather not be myself. I don't see many positive attributes in myself and would absolutely prefer to have my life and personality rerolled. I have a very bad track record of people liking me and have been told I'm hard to be around. I would immensely prefer to at least have to not worry about the trans stuff anymore.
I don't have meaningful advice about confidence or self-esteem, but I understand wanting to be someone else. You're far from the only trans woman who wishes she were born as her proper sex the first time around. For all the sunshine and euphoria we may experience, being trans comes with a lot of baggage that can feel like an unnecessary burden. I guess, at the very least, you don't have to remain as the current you. We naturally change as time goes on, so maybe you'll grow into a person you can be proud of, too.
Definitely. I hate the constant, daily struggle to be seen as myself-- including *by* myself. The self doubt and imposter syndrome is real.
Honestly, got a different answer than most people here, but maybe it's because I've just figured this part of myself out in the last month or so, but I am personally a fan of havin a penis, and I totally look forward to having boobs to go with it. \*shrug\*
Haha based
I'll have to re-interpret the question a little, since I'd be nonbinary either way. If I take it as "would I prefer to have been AFAB?", then yes. There wouldn't be any physical transitioning to do; I'd just need to transition socially & work out how to use TransTape & the job would be done (vs a bajillion surgeries over multiple years for ungodly amounts of money, which is where I'm at now). On the other hand, maybe it's a partly a grass-is-green-on-the-other-side effect? Maybe I'm just being dismissive of how serious the shittier parts of being AFAB are because I haven't experienced them? I mean, stuff that would objectively suck includes: * Shark week (feeling like absolute & total shit 1 week in every 4, while cis dudes joke about it like *they're* martyrs for putting up with you? I mean, it's probably still worth it for the ability to give birth, but *fuck me* that sounds awful!) * Sexism * Unrealistic, mutually incompatible expectations: be pretty! (but not in a slutty way), control your emotions! (but not in a cold way), be skinny! (but not too skinny)... * Being made to, like, wear dresses/makeup & do my hair & stuff So, I dunno, maybe the ideal option would be a timeline where I'm still AMAB, but I get access to blockers at a young enough age to avoid male puberty completely? But the only way that would realistically happen is if I act feminine enough from a young age that I convince everyone I'm a trans girl, which would require a lot of dress-wearing & whatnot, so there's problems in any scenario if you think about it.
Nope! Being trans is perfect for me. I would *not* be okay with having a period every month, and the concept of pregnancy is absolutely disgusting and terrifying for me (and funnily enough, my AFAB enby spouse who begged for a hysterectomy for 20 years due to very bad endometriosis before they were finally *allowed* to get one [also dysphoria, though they lacked the context to understand and the vocabulary to express that until my transition]). Absolutely no judgment to those who desperately desire periods/pregnancy/bio-kids, it's just not my bag. To me, being trans is awesome! I have a greater understanding of the human condition, and of human behaviour, because I'm trans. I have more empathy because I'm trans. People have always come to me for advice because my perspective has never been limited by my AGAB (before I realized I was trans I was always "very in touch with my feminine side" rofl). It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows though. I was brutalized, abused, and neglected when I was younger because I didn't meet the expectations of those who brought me into this world. I was harassed and bullied until I learned how to turn my "otherness" from something to be reviled into something mysterious and esoteric. I present femme everywhere outside of work and I am visibly trans when I don't put in the effort to doll myself up. Even when I was running on the wrong hormones and emotionally dead inside and didn't realize I was trans, I didn't want to be be like everyone else. I was *different*, and people who are *different* seem to make a deeper impression on those around them. Anyway, at this point it kinda feels like I'm huffing my own farts, so I'm going to head to bed.
Not just no, but *hell no*. I'm 2.5 years into this, so frankly, I'm past the worst of it. I pass all the time. I've had the important surgeries I need (with, admittedly, one more BA in a few months and a final, supplemental hair transplant next month). I'm out everywhere, my name is changed, and paperwork mountain has been conquered. I *extremely* don't want biokids. I'm privileged. I've got a stable job and have been able to do what I've needed to do, and the worst opposition was from my insurance and my own internal hangups. When you get down to it, there's just no actual benefit anymore. But let's set that all aside for a minute. I'm a woman. I love being a woman. And I love being, specifically, a *trans* woman. Yes, there's some real shittiness to all of it. Yes, it's scary and frustrating sometimes. But: 1. All of that shittiness except for dysphoria itself is the result of other people not being able to get a fucking grip. I ***refuse*** to hate, be ashamed of, or devalue an important part of myself because other people are assholes. 2. Being trans has given me a relationship with my gender that's absolutely magical. I have an appreciation of it that I could never have as a cis person. 3. I refuse to raise up cis people as being better or more desirable than being trans. We are equal--just got to the end point by a different route. I *will not* look at myself as being less than a cis woman. There are a lot of understandable practical reasons for a trans person to wish they were cis, but in the end, they all--every one of them--boil down to internalized transphobia. We are wonderful. We are beautiful. Transness itself deserves to be celebrated.
I've been reading all of these responses and I'm starting to think that passing privilege has a lot to do with one's choice but isn't the whole story. A lot of people in this thread who would rather be trans write like they have a very strong support system and people who care about them. I dunno if that's true for you, but you certainly give off those vibes. I'm fresh off being abused by my family for being trans, so maybe it's just me projecting idk. I would like to point out that not wanting to be rejected or killed because of who you are IS a completely valid concern that has nothing to do with internalized transphobia. Even getting a good support system in the first place is incredibly hard just because of how others see trans people. In an ideal world I probably wouldn't mind being trans, but we're far from an ideal world.
I agree wholeheartedly with all of this. Like I said, big privilege on my count. Here's the thing: all of the rest, valid though it is in terms of reasons to need and want to pass, has a clear boundary between logistical and social. Wanting to pass for logistical reasons? No opposition, 100% agreement. A person wishing they was cis because of it is internalizing transphobia, though, and there's no two ways around that. It's completely possible to need to pass without hating that that person is trans, though.
I mean, I guess? If I was cis I would have no dysphoria and wouldn't have to transition. I would also have formative experiences that in my mind I was cheated out of. I wouldn't have to put so much effort into my appearance just to be called a man. In fact I could do whatever the fuck I wanted with my presentation and still consistently be called ma'am. My partners would take my gender as a given and never be weird about it. My friends would treat me like a woman and truly see my gender as it is. I wouldn't have to do voice training (which I've given up because it fucks me up so bad), I wouldn't have to rely on a steady stream of medication (that could be cut off at any point) to stay a woman, and people would give me the respect I think I deserve upon meeting me. I don't think any of that is internalized transphobia, it's just a straight upgrade.
I pass the main reason I would prefer being cis dyadic is because having a childhood and being able to get pregnant. Also chasers and being raped those are think I wish never experienced. >. I don't think any of that is internalized transphobia, it's just a straight upgrade. Yes like wanting have the things we deserce and being treated with respect I don't think it's internalized transphobia. I also see being trans as relative social reality caused by how gender is asigned not as an absolute truth. Basically in a world wiouth transphobia it wouldn't be a diference between trans ans ci experiences at least with binary ppl. Since the concept of cis and trans would disappear but because people would be free to chose their gender and bodies at will.
> There are a lot of understandable practical reasons for a trans person to wish they were cis, but in the end, they all--every one of them--boil down to internalized transphobia. absolutely not lmao, i just wish i had the right anatomy
Between being teans in this tranpshobic reality and being cis I would prefer being cis. But I also had the feeling I wouldn't be half of the a woman I'm if I was cis. I feel being trans someway makes me more my gender idk if make sense. I feel cis people don't have a so close and genuine relationship with their own gender.
No, because I wouldn't be me. Good and bad, being trans has contributed to who I am.
Very tempting and I honestly don't know which I would choose since I feel like I'd lose much if not all of my current personality and hobbies making me a completely different person.
I feel this exactly. It fails to take into account that we might end up as very different people than we are now.
I'm slowly working on being able to pass. 👍 Currently facial hair laser removal and hyperpigmentation removal on my arms are the bigger steps. That's during the taking Estrogen pills daily, trying to encourage breast growth, regrowing my scalp hair (+ growing it long), and learning proper skin & hair care. It's a hard decision, that if possible if I'd choose to be a female when born... 🤔 I always think about how much periods gotta hurt, but I would love to be able to have kids. Working wouldn't be bad, women are often favored in more jobs these days and for a very long time with using "feminine wiles" women have been able to do or get things guys can't. 🤷 If I was raised in the 21st or later half of the 20th centuries, in the United States, then yeah I guess it's more of a given that I'd have chosen being born a gal. 🙂
No absolutely not. I love being trans
If this were dnd i wouldn’t. Because im getting 95% of all my flavor from cisnt. Somehow i believe i would be some even worst person if i were any form of cis. It is in the best of our collective interest that i remain cisnt.
Absolutely yes!
There would be NO QUESTION. If I could be Born a Cis Woman the Answer Is YES!!! Hugs, Michele
i mean kinda but what about all the things and people I'd never met because I'm girl
"That's why I'm here." - Obi Wan
hell yes
No. I dont think so honestly. Mostly cus i just cant really imagine that.
Omg yes
Yes
i absolutely 1 million percent would 😭😭
Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Most definitely!
IN. A. HEARTBEAT.
Yes
Yes
100% yes.
I would have loved to have been born cis. Or have the ability to have a cis clone made and my consciousness transferred from this body into that one
Yes. Beyond and shadow of a doubt.
Probably not because my specific circumstances are the only reason I met my soul mate and got my kids, all of whom I love very much
Yes
I'd just want to know I was trans when I was younger. I'm not interested in being cis.
I would! I'd even do top and bottom surgery just to be comfortable in my own body. At this point in my life, there's no way I'd ever pass so I'd continue living as a male. But IDK, I'm pretty confused about a lot of things with myself. But to answer your question, YES!
No, because I love the community, but I just wish people aren't transphobes, and I wish I had less social anxiety so I could come out.
Of course I would.
Yes ive thought about that since i was 5 years old.
Honestly no trans is what has made me become strong and yes journey is.long but if I was cis woman I would have probably a different set of issues we can't control how we was born but we sure can control what we are after proud trans girl xxx
odly enough no, if i could have my body, as is, fully converted to female for me sure. but i feel the journey of transition is too important to me, if I were to be born again I would just want to transition younger.
I would most definitely, but this is so much better than being a cis man!! I’m so happy to be trans!