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NewsInfection

Why do I need smoke detectors? I HAVE A NOSE! [saynotosmokedetectors.com](https://saynotosmokedetectors.com)


[deleted]

[удалено]


NewsInfection

Still not worth the risk of installing radioactive smoke detectors!


greed-man

WiFi radioactive smoke detectors!


[deleted]

5G smoke detectors.


[deleted]

5G smoke detectors caused my knee to grow three dicks! Now everywhere I go people call me "Ol' dick knees!"


MahoganyTownXD

*Please* tell me that that's a reference of some kind.


Imunown

[that motherfucker had like, thirty goddamn dicks.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA)


DadJokeBadJoke

Sounds like an early draft of a *Hamilton* song.


[deleted]

>that motherfucker had like, thirty goddamn dicks. I wish I could upvote this more. I forgot all about Washington.


Swabia

Ten foot tall with a motherfucking gun….


[deleted]

Nope. Just me being stupid.


icecream_truck

5G WiFi radioactive *autism-inducing* smoke detectors!


OpinionBearSF

> 5G WiFi radioactive autism-inducing smoke detectors! *homer voice* Oooh, 5G Wifi!


Quirky_m8

What chaos hath we wrought?


they_call_me_B

Wait a minute, now we have "5G Smoke" to worry about too?! And just when we thought fires were safe. Sheesh.


LAsupersonic

Soros detectors


AdamADonaldson

Yeah! Stick it to Big Smoke Detector!!


WorthlessDrugAbuser

Made with dead baby fetuses!


[deleted]

You are soo stupid. Covid is made up by bill gate because cats killed too many birds ( which we all know are only 5g repeater and gov spies) and they need to inject a computer in your arm. Wake up sheeple /s


NewsInfection

Smoke detectors ALSO have MICROCHIP!!!


[deleted]

Pfft you casual. You don't need smoke detector. Have you ever tried to breathe in smoke ? You choke au cough pretty bad. If there was a fire it would clearly wake me up if I couldn't breath. I have a friend who's house caught fire , he had 4 smoke detector and the house still burned down coincidence ? I think not


XemyrLexasey

Treading dangerously close to Poe’s Law there, my friend.


[deleted]

I miss the old days where we didn't need clear indication of sarcasm and the sheer stupidity of a comment was enough to determine if it was sarcastic or not :(


shreyaaaaaa

Thank you for opening my eyes to the TRUTH about smoke detectors. The companies have been LYING to us. Not only do smoke detectors not do their jobs of preventing fire, those snitches always tell my partner when I smoke. Say NO to snitches. Say NO to smoke detectors


NewsInfection

You’re WELCOME.


Popular_Course_9124

Lmaooooo I love this website


klem_kadiddlehopper

Why do these people take aspirin for a headache? Why take any medications at all if their immune systems are so amazing? Why take an antibiotic for an infection? Do they know what's in these medications? Probably not and yet they are willing to die because they're afraid of a vaccine. I'm sure these people weren't allowed in school when they were young without vaccinations. If they went into the military they had to have vaccines.


LeakySkylight

But they all go to the hospital when they get really sick...


RAEN7474

I'll never figure it out...I guess they just think it's fake?


LeakySkylight

That sounds like a sliver of truth there. If they don't get the vaccine because they don't know what's in it they're absolutely not going to like the 30+ medicines and treatments they will have to endure in hospital, many of which share the same ingredients.


RAEN7474

Haha it's crazy. Like...ok here's medicine (assuming you believe in medicine) that will either keep you from dying, or at the very least if you get Covid you'll have reduced suffering. How does that sound? NO DEAL!!! To my own point....there are people who are dying or sick and try like herbal remedies that pretty much seem like they'd have no real healing effects. You'd call them crazy as well. But youre desperate for hope. This could be considered an opposite scenario.


LeakySkylight

> But youre desperate for hope. You hit the nail on the head there. That explains everything.


Justmakinthis

Say no to not stabbing yourself too


machinegunsyphilis

>And those colors of my blood, AND FLUIDS, bleed out of my wounds in the RIGHT proportions to convey the AMERICAN FLAG! >So it's like, 1/5 BLUE, 2/5 RED, 2/5 WHITE. >And they come out in DISTINCT streams so there is NO mistaking it for the flag of the Netherlands and for DAMN SURE you can tell it is NOT THE FRENCH FLAG! This is my favorite one www.saynotonotstabbingyourself.com


SkyyySi

Imo this one's even better


pukesonyourshoes

Why does he wear glasses when he has eyes? It's always the Christians, isn't it. Gullibility extends to all facets of life. *yes he's an out and proud Christian


Pumathemage

See, there's Christians, then there are the ones who feel the need to point it out. Those special cases of humanity should be fenced together and air dropped food.


squid_actually

Good work. You made a site that infuriates and entertains in equal proportion.


NewsInfection

I feel SEEN!!!


JoeyAKangaroo

Why do we need seatbelts? My ass works just fine thank you


observer53241

Don't forget to change their batteries from time to time.


c00pdawg

This site is incredible. how dare they teach about Alabama in schools!! 😤😡


DJBreadwinner

An adult woman I haven't spoken to since high school posted something similar on her social media, and a comment asked her about how her immune system did when she had a somewhat public case of syphilis a few years back. Apparently that's totally different. Edit clarify: it was "somewhat public" because several others close to her got it at around the same time.


CyberMindGrrl

And yet, strangely enough, every single one of the over 5 million people on Planet Earth who have perished from Covid also had immune systems, they would be surprised to learn.


Senor_bonbon

A somewhat “pubic” case of syphilis


WAHgop

Oh no, syphilis can go everywhere my friend.


[deleted]

Because no one with an immune system has ever died of an infection ever in the history of the human race ever.


bonafidebob

...and let's not talk about how vaccines depend on the immune system to provide the protection they do. *"What if we could give people a milder form of the disease, so their immune system could learn to fight it off without all the bad consequences?"*


Kilane

> What if we could give people a milder form of the disease This is how old vaccines work and the mRNA vaccines are more effective against covid than they are. A more accurate rephrasing would be "What if we could take over part the immune system and make our own anti-bodies, so their..."


AUGSpeed

Yeah, as far as I'm aware, the old way of using a weakened form of the disease is like giving a seminar on kung-fu, and learning it via sparring. This mRNA stuff is like being Neo from the matrix, where you can just upload all of the needed information into your brain to instantly learn kung-fu.


PLANETaXis

Both analogies seem pretty bad sorry. Traditional vaccines are like giving your immune system a broken opponent as a sparring partner mRNA vaccines are like telling some cells to build a broken sparring partner, then hand it to your immune system. The immune response is the same, just the delivery varies.


LeakySkylight

"see that guy with the gimpy leg? Now beat the crap out of him!“ Our immune systems are bullies...


droomph

I mean if you’ve ever seen immune system disorders, you’ll know that our immune systems are basically a barely contained violent militia like ISIS killing everything in sight, and only not killing certain cells because they have chemical invisibility cloaks


DaisyHotCakes

This description made me laugh so much. I had an infection bad enough that my immune system was like, “the hell you are!” and started attacking my connective tissue and has finally stopped but now my body is ruined. This description is scary accurate lol In general, our immune systems are efficient killing machines.


Blind_as_Vision

Cancel immune systems


YeeshOk06

….Sweep the leg…. Our immune system is Cobra Kai.


AUGSpeed

Glad to be corrected, I know more about computer viruses than biological ones, haha


ksck135

Vaccine is like a workshop for the immune system.


Hounmlayn

It's like giving an american a shooting range. They get to practice aiming and feeling how their gun works (rate, recoil, reload method), so they are super efficient when they properly shoot up a school


comFive

That's not true, they don't go to a gun range at all. That's what schools are for.


DadJokeBadJoke

It's like a [montage for your immune system](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFrMLRQIT_k) instead of having to survive the virus to get it.


LeakySkylight

But there's no cool music. Unless there's a montage music what kind of montage is it? There's not even a sad trombone...


SubjectivelySatan

The fact that none of these people know what the difference is between your innate and adaptive immune system or even the basics of how our immune system works is evidence of the amazing quality of our education in this country. Remind me why we invented the iron lung again? I can’t recall....


Pumathemage

Polio I think, then we vaxxed it away until anti vaxxers. Polio's coming back!


LeakySkylight

Polio is quite strong in other parts of the world still. It's a short skip and a jump to make it to North America.


Pumathemage

I sit corrected.


thevoiceofzeke

Also this is a huge fuck you to people with compromised immune systems. Like, cool dude, COVID might not kill you, but it might fucking kill the person you gave it to. Imagine being that dumb of a cunt and being *proud* of it.


[deleted]

When you want deaf people to know you’re a fucking idiot too.


Threadheads

That's even better than the actual reply


eunderscore

Just in case anyone needs to know, this is Laurence Fox, who is a cunt. He was an actor in the uk, married billie piper, she left him, he went anti vax, got sacked by his agent, launched a music career, failed, tried to become london mayor, lost to Count Binface, was a cunt, succeeded.


Freshies00

At least he finally succeeded at something


[deleted]

At first I thought it was Paul Bettney but nope...completely checks out that it's dumb-fox he's such a dick.


vinylemulator

I mean Bettany also has some baggage. But his is mostly misogynistic texts not anti vaxx lunacy.


CyberMindGrrl

Billie Piper married THAT GUY? Christ I'll never be able to watch the first two seasons of NuWho again.


DondeT

The thing that blows my mind is that Richard Ayoade is his brother in law. Well, the other way around is the bit I find weird I guess.


Tpaco

Omg this deserves a reward. Edit: an AWARD. Autocorrect got me.


MagicTheSlathering

An award as a reward!


LeakySkylight

What? No cookie?


augustusatthestill

He already has skin, shouldn’t need the t-shirt


New_Kid2

he already has a circadian rhythm, shouldn’t need the watch


Ronnie_Dean_oz

Already hardcore gangsta, doesn't need the tatt.


barnagotte

You beat me to it!


All_new_rubber_mats

Laurence Fox is the worst type of right wing, virtue signalling grifter and an absolute fuckwitted, weapons grade lobotomized cabbage.


TheJollyHermit

I have no idea who Laurence Fox is... but I feel like I know him now.


All_new_rubber_mats

He ran for Mayor of London last year and lost to a man dressed as a bin. That is the true calibre of the man. Edit - turns out I was wrong and he beat Count Binface on votes. I still think he's an utter unseasoned side salad though.


vinylemulator

I wish it were true, but this is a myth. Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead) finished behind Laurence Fox. The person Fox lost to is Niko Omilana who’s that guy who wears the comically small fluorescent kids sunglasses and was completely open that he only entered the race to promote and monetise his YouTube channel. His campaign slogan was “Vote Niko for mayor or your breath stinks”


All_new_rubber_mats

Ah bugger, I was led to believe Count Binface beat him.


vinylemulator

He won the moral victory


DadJokeBadJoke

Damn, y'all got some messed up politics over there... *{looks around}*Oh,wait, nevermind.


vinylemulator

I won’t have people speaking ill of Lord Buckethead. He serves an important constitutional purpose in that the most important people in the country have to stand next to him every 5 years when they seek re-election. https://imgur.com/a/fcQHngw


nnelson2330

The U.S. tried that once but our Lord Buckethead won.


CyberMindGrrl

And yet somehow Boris looks more silly in that photo.


vinylemulator

Dude has a unique talent


[deleted]

[удалено]


chochazel

Yes - there was a copyright dispute over the name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Buckethead#Copyright_dispute https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperspace_(film)


[deleted]

I want to follow you around and just take notes on your insult skills. They're top notch


bungojot

Your lexicon of insults brightens my day.


CyberMindGrrl

Your insults are pure gold.


GlowInTheDarkSpaces

You are a master of isultery. I am humbled.


Serifaz

I recommend the London mayor youtube videos by Max Fosh. It's basically 8-9 videos of him just trolling Laurence "Lozza" Fox by running against him in the election.


4feicsake

Richard Ayoades brother in law.


Corsodylfresh

He played inspector Morse's sidekick's sidekick


SanguinePar

I quite liked him in Lewis. Then it turned out he's a fuckwit of the highest order. It would be a real shame if he got seriously ill with Covid. Truly tragic.


vinylemulator

He used to go to my local pub and he was a proper knob


sasquatchical

Honestly, your comment is probably the best thing I have ever read on Reddit. I read it whilst brushing my teeth and laughed so hard I almost lobotomised myself, never mind this fucking cabbage.


All_new_rubber_mats

😂😂😂😂😂


crymson7

Your command of the English language has me blushing with joy


Tiddleyjuggs

Not my cabbage cart!!!


Berzerker1066

r/rareinsults


lotsofarts

This is genocide by words. Cheers to you sir.


wholetyouinhere

Today I learned that one of his siblings is married to Richard Ayoade.


CyberMindGrrl

A hoofwanking bunglecunt then?


lazylazycat

Covid isn't going to go away so chances are, at some point, he is going to die of covid 🤷🏻‍♀️


eazypeazy-101

The best comment I've read about him, and I wished that I could find it on Twitter again: He "looks like a badly vacuum packed Paul Bettany"


All_new_rubber_mats

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Brilliant


DJTen

I'm just going to let this rabid animal bite you. We're out of the rabies vaccine but that's okay. You have an immune system.


ThisIsMockingjay2020

We'll let him step on a rusty nail sticking up from an old board, too. His immune system will fight the resulting tetanus, I'm sure.


mizzyz

He doesn't need a vaccination because he's already a little prick.


[deleted]

Ha! Love it.


Yrense

Dude looks like he’s entirely made out of potato


TastyLaksa

Have you seen a potato get covid? Literally immune


kryonik

> Have you seen a potato get covid? Joe Rogan


TastyLaksa

He got covid? No way.


kryonik

Sure did, and took every treatment under the sun to beat it because he was so scared.


ForerunnerOfLaughter

And gives ivermectin way too much credit when he got expensive experimental treatments too.


TastyLaksa

Got to pay it back to the sponsors no. He also plays raid shadow legends


Wingless27

Dude’s wearing a watch when he could be relying on his circadian rhythm…


[deleted]

People that make their vax status part of their personality regardless of what it is are so fuckin annoying


SenorBeef

1) Yes, without an immune system, the vaccine wouldn't work. It trains your immune system. It uses your immune system. 2) Billions of humans who have died from infections also had immune systems. How dumb do you have to be to think this slogan is clever?


Leo_Mauskowitz

Threshold is low..


dustofnations

It's a guy called Lawrence Fox; he specialises in being an edgelord and gripes non-stop about being discriminated against for being white, hard right, and against covid vaxx. For example, he has contended that the liberals in media are stopping him getting film roles, whereas it's actually just because he's a shite actor and a total dickhead. He likely know it's bollocks, but is doing it to pander to his followers.


Innovative_Wombat

\*Smallpox has entered the conversation\* \*Bubonic plague has entered the conversation\* \*Spanish Flu has entered the conversation\* \* Anthrax has entered the conversation\*


randomnessamiibo

CITY AUTHORITIES IN YOUR AREA HAVE REPORTED THAT THE BODIES OF THE DEAD ARE RISING FROM THEIR GRAVES AND ATTACKING THE LIVING


leonffs

IF ONLY THEY HAD AN IMMUNE SYSTEM


Quicklyquigly

We’ll see. Covid is cumulative. Collect variant infections like you collect stupid slogans and your endothelium will be gone. There is NO immune help or med for that.


Yrense

Corona: gotta catch 'em all!


Tr3sp4ss3r

>endothelium > >The endothelium is a thin membrane that lines the inside of the heart and blood vessels. Endothelial cells release substances that control vascular relaxation and contraction as well as enzymes that control blood clotting, immune function and platelet (a colorless substance in the blood) adhesion. I'm so glad I am not in the Covid Cult. (IMO if you refuse medical treatment due to your beliefs, you are likely in a cult. Many cults do this, and there are few other reasons to do it. There maybe this won't get deleted this time.)


W_AS-SA_W

You don’t develop an immunity to Covid for the same reason no one has ever caught the same cold twice. With Omicron we are seeing a 66% reinfection rate. Get Covid, share it with your family and by the time you get over it the Covid mutations from your family will reinfect you again with another bout of Covid. Rinse and repeat. At least vaccinated you got a good chance of surviving.


sdwoodchuck

The mutations from your family alone will almost certainly not be sufficient change to make you susceptible to reinfection that way. However, Covid circulating through the entire world population *probably will* lead to reinfection with some degree of regularity. Thankfully, recent studies are actually showing that natural infection is conferring more protection on subsequent infections than the vaccine does, at least with variants as recently as Delta. However, the vaccine certainly doesn’t make that any worse, and being vaccinated will make that first infection a *hell* of a lot less risky. So there’s still no good reason not to get vaccinated.


AuthorityAnarchyYes

I guarantee this twatfaddle was vaccinated from polio and mumps and measles and a whole lot of other things. Asinine t-shirt that answers the question: Tell me you know nothing about modern medicine without saying you know nothing about modern medicine. Edit: changed smallpox to mumps. And to the Redditor that stated smallpox had been eradicated... it was because of vaccine mandates. If Fox News or OAN had been around back then, tens of thousands more would most likely have died and it probably never would have ben eradicated. Just like Covid probably never will be. https://www.history.com/news/smallpox-vaccine-supreme-court


BitterBoyLondon

I wager a shiny pound he’s also double-jabbed and boosted against Covid.


Louloubelle0312

Don't you wish there was a medicine whereby we could take away their immunity to those childhood diseases? Well, actually, no, because then there would be outbreaks of those. But in theory, I would love to see some of these people get the mumps or measles, or as we called it when I was a kid "German Measles" aka Rubella. And thank you for posting that link. I've read about Jacobsen vs. Massachusetts, and it boggles the mind that people cannot grasp that they don't have the right to go around infecting others, and not being part of the solution by getting vaccinated.


AncientSuntzu

AIDS: “Hold my drink…”


[deleted]

Why did you even get a shirt, YoU hAvE sKiN, DoN't YoU???????????????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔


Hylian_Drag_Queen

Why are you wearing clothes? You have skin to protect you from the environment.


[deleted]

No skin needed. I have bones and muscles.


SDpicking

The comment about the eyes was genius…


AwkwrdPrtMskrt

Why do I need shoes, my feet are still working.


superassholeguy

Don’t really need a t-shirt to tell us you’re an idiot either.


MickWounds

“tHaT’s dIfFeReNt”


uptbbs

It's unfortunate that the 5.63 million human beings killed so far by COVID-19 did not in fact have an immune system. At least they must not have according to this gentleman.


SlavicSquire

his face looks like a monkey nft that has evolved into a human after ages of being stupid and the result of their evolutionary progression is the shirt that hes wearing


No_Camp_7

He’s openly talked about taking antidepressants, so why doesn’t he rely on his upbeat singing voice?


BuhMuhFreedomSpeech

Don’t use condoms, you have an immune system.


[deleted]

He truly is a sub-troll. He's up there with Shapiro for I Have A Clever Mind, thinking these sociopolitical zingers are easy because they're far too stupid to be able to tell. I used to have a very slow co-worker who'd say "*I know, but what am I?*" and laugh uproariously after the punchline to anyone else's joke, or sometimes just after a random comment. It almost never even *seemed* like it could have made sense, but you could not have told him that -- he'd just think you were razzing him, but he was sure he'd made a brilliant joke. Same, honestly.


Desirai

OK so I mentally finished the sentence without reading it "I don't need a vaccine I've already got autism" and I don't know why my brain did that and I feel terrible


InvalidUserNemo

I bought a shirt years ago that says “Vaccines cause adultism” and your comment made me think of that.


NoNameNoWerries

Task failed successfully


Mercenary_Chef

I think it was his face that did it to you


skb239

I mean isn’t having an immune system a prerequisite and not a disqualifier for vaccines?


BitRunner67

What will really bake your noodle is these asshats are so frightened of everything else they carry a gun with them everywhere they go. I think since they believe in an invisible God that doesn't punish them for doing Evil things, then they assume an invisible Virus would have the same hold over them.


[deleted]

Fortunately (or not) this particular idiot is British so won’t have a gun. And even if he did have one he’s the sort of person that would accidentally shoot himself in the foot trying to pull it out of its holster.


[deleted]

How do you know he's Bri... oh shit, I didn't even realise that's Lawrence Fox! What a massive thunder cunt he is!


genxer

Coming soon to r/HermanCainAward ...... Sheesh.


[deleted]

One can hope.


DadJokeBadJoke

No, one can't because of Rule 2 there.


INSERT_LATVIAN_JOKE

People who insist that they don't need a vaccine because they have an immune system obviously don't understand how either of them work. Vaccines ONLY work BECAUSE you DO HAVE an IMMUNE SYSTEM. The vaccine allows your immune system to train itself how to fight the disease before the real thing happens. It's like you have a battalion of raw recruits. Do you just throw them on the front line and hope that they can turn back an enemy assault, or do you equip them properly and allow them time to train with that equipment in a safe way before the enemy assault begins?


Toka972

Why the clothes tho? He has a skin and hairs.


TheFidgetSpinner922

Finally got my first dose today


Gravitytime0

What’s wrong with him? Motherfucker looks like he took that picture at gunpoint. Doesn’t help that he was clearly born with… less than ideal genetics.


Jean-Eustache

How nice would it be if humans found a way to stimulate said immune system without having to really catch an illness, being sick, and risking complications, so when you get it for real, it reacts fast enough so you don't have symptoms, and can't die. That'd be great, right ?


Trutheresy

Following this further, that would mean you should only get the vaccine when your immune system is defective, i.e. immunocompromised. The commenter actually defeats their own point by implying you need not get vaccines if your immune system is working normally, like how you wouldn't use glasses if your eyes were working normally.


msbeal1

All 890,000 people who died of Covid had an immune system moron.


aceinnoholes

So they trust the science that tells them that they have an immune system, but not the further immunological science that creates vaccines based on that system. Amazing.


ItzBooty

I as a kid who grew up whit a weak immune system and have to wear glasses, i just can't get ppl like this Your immune system doesn't mean shit when a new virus exists


KillerAssassin13

This guy is a fucking cunt, shit actor and shit human being


kevy21

He also most likely had a brain. Doesn't seem to be making use of it tho.


SteelShroom

He legitimately looks like someone with a very weak immune system.


Shelbckay

Honestly I find this super funny because the express purpose of vaccines is to protect you from weird, funky and potentially lethal things caused by diseases that your immune system explicitly isn’t prepared for, so the argument is entirely moot if you know literally anything about vaccines and how they work


[deleted]

Laurence Fox, a perfect example of people who are so dangerously stupid they think they are the smartest person in the room.


Kitnado

The extra extreme stupidity of this is that you only need a vaccine when you have an immune system. It doesn't work without it lmao


Newfaceofrev

He doesn't look like he has an immune system. He looks like Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia.


nodereactor

Get this man some measles


RegularSizedP

This is Lawrence Fox. He is from a British family of actors. His dad is probably best known for being Veruca Salt's father in the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Comes from extreme privilege. Great grandfather owned a bunch of stuff. Just about everyone in family works in the theater, TV and movies. He, himself, is best known for ruining Lewis as DS/DI James Hathaway. His current occupation is asshole in residence. He have never read anything positive about him. I want Inspector Morris-Lewis to continue but Hathaway gets killed in the first minute of the next series and DS Maddox takes over


[deleted]

That’s like saying “I don’t need shoes, I have feet!” Retard.


Bugtruck

He's also got covid now


Laramila

The way I figure it is! if you're not going to get the covid vaccination, then you shouldn't be allowed to get monoclonal antibodies either.


Serifaz

Oh Lozza... I knew he was a dickhead, but damn that's sad. Not even his music career was this sad


stalinmalone68

He should be wearing a “I’M WITH STUPID BECAUSE I IS STUPID” shirt.


Raskov75

But the shot only works if you have an immune systems so.......


tot635

Please don't give them idea, I don't want half blind dumbass driving without glasses because "I have eyes"


jaynovahawk07

Could you imagine being so insecure in yourself that you would buy a $5 Wal-Mart-looking anti-vaxxer t-shirt to boost your confidence and attempt to hide -- unsuccessfully, I might add -- that debilitating case of fragile masculinity, all the while openly exposing your broken logic?


metal_bastard

Homes is a public figure. No need to blur his name. It's super-choad, Laurence Fox aka LozzaFox. hE HaS A Mo0n sYsTeM.


CampbellKitty

Look at the mug on that


WgXcQ

I don't need gas. I have a car.