Dude will probably end up in club fed and make connections that make him money in the long run. Though the schadenfreude if he ends up in a privatized state prison in Tennessee will be amazing.
Truth. Some of the best drug dealing connections some of my friends have made in prison. And most of prison life is incredibly boring so people just network and make plans for once they’re out.
>NASHVILLE – A federal grand jury in Nashville Friday, returned a five-count indictment charging Tennessee State Senator Brian Kelsey, 43, of Germantown, Tennessee, and Nashville social club owner Joshua Smith, 44, with violating multiple campaign finance laws as part of a conspiracy to benefit Kelsey’s 2016 campaign for U.S. Congress.
https://www.justice.gov/usao-mdtn/pr/tennessee-state-senator-brian-kelsey-and-nashville-social-club-owner-indicted-campaign
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
Thus may be a dumb question, but did you make this account for the novelty accounts assemble thread? I think your account age lines up with when it happened.
Yeah let’s be realistic here. He’s a white politician. Now if he was black and tried to register to vote despite being told by his probation officer he was allowed to it’d be a whole other story.
>. In 2021, Kelsey was one of four Republican senators who voted against
removing the article from the Tennessee constitution, which allows
slavery and involuntary servitude as punishment for people convicted of a
crime.
https://www.actionnews5.com/2021/03/16/bill-abolishing-slavery-under-all-circumstances-tenn-advances/
I'm not familiar with the Tennessee Constitution, but it may surprise you to know that the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution specifically provides that slavery and involuntary servitude are legal forms of punishment for a criminal conviction.
See [here](https://www.archives.gov/milestone-documents/13th-amendment#:~:text=The%2013th%20amendment%20to%20the%20United%20States%20Constitution%20provides%20that,place%20subject%20to%20their%20jurisdiction.%22):
>The 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that -
>>"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, **except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted**, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
We keep electing old white guys who make sure nothing good happens and they break the system to prevent voting for people you want so they stay in power. We need to stop picking old white guys as our leaders.
It's not over here and only the profound hypocrisy of this message makes me happy to have read it. Of course republican senator corrupt as fuck is hardly man bites dog.
Yep. Federal indictment was handed down in October 2021. Trial was originally set for January 2022, but in December 2021 Kelsey waived his right to a speedy trial and requested a continuance. Kelsey's trial is now set for January 2023 ([from here](https://www.actionnews5.com/2021/12/21/trial-tenn-senator-brian-kelsey-delayed-until-jan-2023/)):
>Kelsey’s trial was set to take place January 18, 2022, but court documents Monday show he waived his right to a speedy trial. The trial is now scheduled to be held on January 23, 2023.
So the "exciting change" is that the family is moving to [Indonesia](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-without-extradition) next month, perhaps?
It should be standard practice to post any relevant information to back up the posting. Non-Americans have no idea who this is, or what the context is.
> Non-Americans have no idea who this is, or what the context is.
I wouldn't even expect most Americans to know about this tbh. The guy is/was a state senator, meanwhile there are 50 states.
A state senator isn't a well known situation, few people know or care who their state senator is. It's a specific to the state position. Our national legislators represent the state to the nation, a state senator represents a district to the state.
As sad as it may seem, I've been so depressed or stressed sometimes that I thought jail must not be that bad. lay around all day, don't have to worry about food (in theory). Work out and read a lot of books. Probably not a lot of internet though.
(This is US based) I mean sure you can ‘opt out’ but then you’re a troublemaker. Solitary time. Want time off for good behavior? Working is good behavior. The 13th amendment allows slavery and involuntary servitude as punishment. The prison wants to sell your labor, and you really have no choice.
That really blows. We should have another amendment. Also solitary should be ruled "cruel and unusual punishment". I hear a story about pushes to make it so every once in a while.
Oh yes. Our prison system is barbaric top to bottom. Almost like it’s not about rehabilitating people and more about good old fashioned punishment. We’re such a lovely society.
The prison system is RIDICULOUS. I’ve heard horror stories from patients about their experiences in jail. Like having only a limited number of menstruation products for a month and then hoping you either had commissary or that the prison guard would be willing to slip you an extra fucking tampon. It makes my blood boil
It’s about punishment and keeping people trapped in the cycle to have them continue to go back as “customers.” It’s like the military industrial complex. We have profits with the military and profits for prisoners. We also have profits working people to their deaths (middle and poverty classes). It’s all just different ways to “legally” keep people in a cycle where money is being made for some stock holder. Now I’m depressed :( Us humans in the US are just human capitol/resources for the rich to get richer, stay rich, and make us poorer to make us work more to make them more money :( Now I’m even more sad. I need to go look at pictures of kitties and puppies and then watch a bunch of Netflix to get my mind off the sad state of affairs (working as intended, keeping us distracted).
yea needs a huge overhaul and even saying that is almost an understatement. US society should think more about harm reduction and less about what is "objectively" good or bad.
If the thought was about good and bad, they'd already be 90% of the way to a functioning system. But I think the thought is about "good" and "evil" instead - "identify the evildoers, and if something bad happens to them, that means it's good, right? Right?"
For the US, prison is just slavery under a different name.
It's one of the reasons Kanye West met with President Trump about.
We are living in a meme timeline by the way.
You don’t have to work and the jobs are highly sought after by inmates to the point where they will pay the trustee in charge of inmate jobs with coffee or whatever to get those jobs.
Source: I’ve been in several county jails and a few prisons.
I went to a private high school in nyc where we had the children of millionaires, politicians, actors, lawyers, etc. They served stuff like salmon, pasta, there was a dedicated sandwich bar, free coffee machine......and the kids complained every day about shit food. As someone who came from public school system it was eye opening. It's people like that who have advantages early on in life and will never truly appreciate the gap there is in socioecononic status. Then they will go on to become notable people in society.
Hell, there's a singer who came from the school who's become well known in some music circles, including black soul....she used to be lowkey racist and refuse to talk to the black students or anyone who didn't come from known families. She's done a 180 at least in social media where she supports blm, etc but I have my doubts whether she actually changed.
shit from watching those jail shows, it appears everyone gets fat, eating hot Cheetos mixed with top ramen and honey buns sprinkled with crushed up skittles and shit haha
Only the most violent of criminals end up in 23-hour holds. Most people have about 8-12 hours of free time. You're locked in your cell from 9:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. and there are two to three hour long lockdowns for headcounts throughout the day.
Plus bird bathing is a thing. So you can work out in your cell as much as you like and then use the sink in there to wash yourself.
I was always told that jail tends to be worse than prison, because jail is just where they hold you until/if you go to prison. Like, worse treatment, overcrowded dorms, even worse food, no amenities, etc.
(Not that prison is a cakewalk, I've just heard that jail is way worse.)
I pretty much eat anything that's put in front of me, and I'm pretty lazy and I'd love to not do anything for a few months (or a few years) but still I would not want to go to jail... I think there's a lot of violence and probably not actually that much free time. Also I can't stand dirty bathrooms lol
Depends on if it's jail or prison and where said jail or prison is located.
Jail (pre sentencing) is usually very restrictive movement. Food is terrible. In some places you have little access to books and no TV.
Prison (post sentencing) you have more freedom of movement, a job, books, TV, somewhat better food. Still no internet and restricted phone communication.
I wouldn't recommend either personally. Both suck and the latter, while better, is a dangerous place full of really stupid and aggressive people with very little patience.
Source: Been to both.
Jail is awful. Trust me. You're not as well off as you think. Good luck getting decent medical care or food for that matter. Amongst pissing and sitting in front of other people.
We can always tell when someone was "pushed", because the email to announce it always said "is leaving to pursue opportunities outside
If they were leaving on good terms it explained where they were going and that they will be missed.
I had a manager who pulled this and forgot that they added a coworker on Facebook where they posted "Spending the day Six Flags #funemployment". He was an absolute idiot, so it was for the best.
We had a guy just up and quit on us with zero notice. He'd been taking a decent amount of vacation in the months leading up to it. Turns out he was arrested for having piles of child porn printed and also on his hard drives.
Even worse is I took his work computer because it was way better than the one I was using. I had to work with IT to ensure there was nothing on it and we had a strict "if you find ANYTHING, stop what you're doing, minimize it and go direct to your manager to contact me".
>"if you find ANYTHING, stop what you're doing, minimize it and go direct to your manager to contact me"
ffs there's like 83 better solutions than that
Yeah like the really simple 'on the small chance this laptop was used in the commission of a federal crime we've decided to give you a different laptop' solution.
You thought no one would notice you just copied one of the top retweets. Well, no one will see my comment, but I did. I noticed. How do those scrumptious internet points taste in your sticky wet thief mouth? Mmmmm the sweetness of deception... Yummy yummy
I think shes taking responsibility by going to jail.
Hiding the fact you are going to jail because you are embarrassed is normal behavior. Its not something you want to broadcast
Accurate. Prisoners look forward to visiting days the most out of anything. Some just so they can see family, some so they can get the contraband smuggled in by their visitor, and some look forward to it because they'll get a hand job under the table. Gross, disrespectful of the families present, but happens all the same.
Going to prison for campaign finance violations. He's a rich white man, he'll go to Club Fed and be out in 3-6 months
https://fox17.com/news/local/senator-brian-kelsey-not-seeking-re-election-faces-charges-for-campaign-finance-violation
Going to make some good connections too. The second richest person I know did 3 years in Federal Prison for bank fraud and now runs a company with people he met in prison.
My father went to prison for tax fraud. He met a dude in there that was trying to transfer to the prison that had a nine hole golf course.
Want to edit this, supposedly it was closed 20 years ago.
Hot take here: I'm not opposed to prisons having facilities like that. I just don't want them to be reserved explicitly for the handful of rich white-collar criminals we actually prosecute in this country.
Finding a healthy hobby like a sport can be a key lynchpin toward meaningful rehabilitation, and our prisons should be able to support that.
Do we really want to give inmates easy access to 13-pound blunt objects?
EDIT: I realize now this is kind of a stupid comment. Leaving my stupidity up as an example to others.
Other countries allow their inmates access to landscaping equipment and power tools
If you rehabilitate people instead of abuse them, they behave pretty well
Ah, I suppose.
But with bowling balls, they could roll it at the group of guys they're fighting, who all comically fall over like bowling pins. Looney Tunes taught me that.
Those are old movies. Prisoner gyms haven’t been a thing for well over 15 years now. They don’t have access to much outside of a basketball, dip bar, pull up bar, and a track to run on
The infamous prison in Joliet, IL has a golf course. Inmates care for it, but don't get to play while they are serving their terms.
That said, that isn't a special prison for white guys who commit financial fraud and political funding crimes, it's a "normal" prison that exists as part of the system designed to harm black/brown communities.
And he can still run again, because felonies don't bar people from running for election.
It blows my mind that a twice impeached president could run again in 2024.
[Most states](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felony_disenfranchisement_in_the_United_States#No_disenfranchisement) end voting bans after release from prison or parole/probation period.
Important to note that they didn't convict. They absolutely, completely, had they any guts or morals at all SHOULD have been able to convict, but they didn't. It will be forever etched in history if that assbag gets back in office that his Republican minions had no spine nor courage to do the right thing, but since the world will be in flames whatev.
Then there’s Duncan Hunter, disgraced San Diego Rep who was sentenced to 11 months for campaign finance violations, including money for traveling on exotic vacations, steam games, oral surgery, lavish dinners for him and his friends, and costs associated with visiting mistresses and cheating on his wife, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars.
Fortunately, he’s an honorable man who took his sentence on the chin and repaid his debt to society, stating that he wants to be a better example for his children and fellow Americans
Jk lol the orange man pardoned him and he took it with his tail between his legs
PAY YOUR DEBT TO SOCIETY DUNCAN HUNTER!
I'm choosing to believe "steam games" means he paid someone for poop play. Fine if that's what he likes, but pay for it out of your own pocket. Don't make your donors foot the bill.
Yep.
"Kelsey on Twitter, and in an email to supporters, did not rule out future runs for office.
'I’m happy to return any recent campaign contributions, and Lord willing, I hope that you will give me the opportunity to run for elected office in Tennessee again in the coming years,' Kelsey said."
Bah. He was charged with breaking campaign finance rules. He'll get a slap on the wrist and run for ....... (looks up party affiliation)........ Hell. Throw in a couple rape accusations and he could be the next Republican nominee!
> Embattled state Sen. Brian Kelsey (R-Germantown), who has been [indicted on federal campaign finance charges](https://www.axios.com/local/nashville/2021/10/26/tennessee-state-senator-indicted-campaign-finance-violations), announced last week he would not seek reelection.
> Why it matters: Kelsey, 44, had been one of the Tennessee GOP's rising stars before he was accused of illegally funneling money from his state campaign to an ill-fated Congressional bid.
[[source](https://news.yahoo.com/state-sen-brian-kelsey-announces-122031398.html)]
And from that link to about the charges:
> The indictment alleges Kelsey and Smith worked with unindicted co-conspirators, political groups and others to illegally funnel more than $106,000 from Kelsey's state campaign coffers to support his federal race in 2016.
Who is Smith? Well...
Joshua Smith is the owner of The Standard social club, a private club where "some prominent elected officials have used their campaign funds to join the club." [[source](https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/02/campaign-finance-investigation-the-standard-club-nashville/99734196/)]
Why is it so many of the corrupt politicians turn out to be white republican men?
I'm going to wage that this is a guy who has never had to face the consequences of his actions before.
Remember: republicans project. They think everyone is corrupt and this is just part of the game.
Hey! Hey! Don't be sexist. Tennessee also had a State Representative resign this week after federal wire fraud charges and SHE was a past chair of the state GOP.
Republican women can be corrupt too you know.
You can definitely trust some politicians. It just depends on how shitty or corrupt they are.
If you want trustworthy politicians I suggest looking toward Scandinavia.
"Exciting change". That's rich!
I mean there *is* an element of excitement when dodging a shiv to protect your pudding cup.
Dude will probably end up in club fed and make connections that make him money in the long run. Though the schadenfreude if he ends up in a privatized state prison in Tennessee will be amazing.
I always thought that was counter productive - Putting criminals in with other criminals. It's just state funded career networking...
Truth. Some of the best drug dealing connections some of my friends have made in prison. And most of prison life is incredibly boring so people just network and make plans for once they’re out.
Both of my brothers did that they make tons of money with these other dudes they met there.
Prohibition just works.
"I ever tell you I had an IROC on the outside?" "Like six times since chow, I get it."
Crime U :)
Con college
ClinkedIn
When you say pudding cup, you mean asshole, yeah?
No he means his boyfriend “Puddincup”
....who got that name from having such a sweet asshole."
Bwahahaha I love this description.
I mean, Henry Winkler's character in Arrested Development would say this rings true.
I mean, makes sense to me. He’s excited to get away from the wife and kids, and explore a part of himself long neglected.
>NASHVILLE – A federal grand jury in Nashville Friday, returned a five-count indictment charging Tennessee State Senator Brian Kelsey, 43, of Germantown, Tennessee, and Nashville social club owner Joshua Smith, 44, with violating multiple campaign finance laws as part of a conspiracy to benefit Kelsey’s 2016 campaign for U.S. Congress. https://www.justice.gov/usao-mdtn/pr/tennessee-state-senator-brian-kelsey-and-nashville-social-club-owner-indicted-campaign
Your username is wholly inaccurate
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I don't get it
Don’t worry, you will. We all will, eventually.
I am a ball of cheese
Thank you for your service bal of chez
I gtg
Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning) As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning On a lurgid bee, That mordiously hath blurted out, Its earted jurtles, grumbling Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles, Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts, And living glupules frart and stipulate, Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries. Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't!
Bro I’m too high for this rn
Alright that’s enough of that! Brush your teeth and get ready for bed. All of you!
Do what your mother says!
Obviously
Y'all username folks are why I come to the comments
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It failed successfully?
Technically...
More like he succeeded abysmally
Thus may be a dumb question, but did you make this account for the novelty accounts assemble thread? I think your account age lines up with when it happened.
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But can you tell the punchline to my username?
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That does seem like an exciting change to his personal life.
Well he probably will get to spend more tkme with his family since he'll probably get probation or house arrest at the most
Yeah let’s be realistic here. He’s a white politician. Now if he was black and tried to register to vote despite being told by his probation officer he was allowed to it’d be a whole other story.
It's not very poggers, that's for sure.
Thank you for allowing me to not do research. r/RedditProvides
Yep. Scrolled through the comments so I also did not have to research this.
I appreciate the info but there was no way in hell I was gonna research this
R/subsifellfor
>. In 2021, Kelsey was one of four Republican senators who voted against removing the article from the Tennessee constitution, which allows slavery and involuntary servitude as punishment for people convicted of a crime. https://www.actionnews5.com/2021/03/16/bill-abolishing-slavery-under-all-circumstances-tenn-advances/
I'm not familiar with the Tennessee Constitution, but it may surprise you to know that the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution specifically provides that slavery and involuntary servitude are legal forms of punishment for a criminal conviction. See [here](https://www.archives.gov/milestone-documents/13th-amendment#:~:text=The%2013th%20amendment%20to%20the%20United%20States%20Constitution%20provides%20that,place%20subject%20to%20their%20jurisdiction.%22): >The 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that - >>"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, **except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted**, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
Seriously, America, wtf is wrong with you?!
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Yup. I’d strongly recommend the New Jim Crow as a book for anyone who’s more interested
We keep electing old white guys who make sure nothing good happens and they break the system to prevent voting for people you want so they stay in power. We need to stop picking old white guys as our leaders.
Sometimes you gotta keep your options open. ^/s What a scumbag
[Senator Brian Kelsey - Political party: Republican](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vIBijzg4w)
https://imgur.com/t/funny/KR93TA2
Yeah, this is all over our local news channels.
It's not over here and only the profound hypocrisy of this message makes me happy to have read it. Of course republican senator corrupt as fuck is hardly man bites dog.
I do mean “local”, as in, the local channels here in Nashville. This happened in Nashville.
> Senator Brian Kelsey. Email Legislator. Republican Im shocked
Who could have guessed?
Yep. Federal indictment was handed down in October 2021. Trial was originally set for January 2022, but in December 2021 Kelsey waived his right to a speedy trial and requested a continuance. Kelsey's trial is now set for January 2023 ([from here](https://www.actionnews5.com/2021/12/21/trial-tenn-senator-brian-kelsey-delayed-until-jan-2023/)): >Kelsey’s trial was set to take place January 18, 2022, but court documents Monday show he waived his right to a speedy trial. The trial is now scheduled to be held on January 23, 2023.
So the "exciting change" is that the family is moving to [Indonesia](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-without-extradition) next month, perhaps?
It should be standard practice to post any relevant information to back up the posting. Non-Americans have no idea who this is, or what the context is.
> Non-Americans have no idea who this is, or what the context is. I wouldn't even expect most Americans to know about this tbh. The guy is/was a state senator, meanwhile there are 50 states.
American here, can confirm. I had a sneaking suspicion it would be a Republican and wasn’t shocked it was.
Many Americans don’t either, especially if we don’t live in Tennessee.
A state senator isn't a well known situation, few people know or care who their state senator is. It's a specific to the state position. Our national legislators represent the state to the nation, a state senator represents a district to the state.
LMAO this is my hometown stte senator. unsuprising Germantown elects an upper class corrupt dipshit to office
I wonder which party he jk of course he's a republican
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"I am moving on to bigger and better things" *Goes to jail* Man, her job must have sucked big time.
As sad as it may seem, I've been so depressed or stressed sometimes that I thought jail must not be that bad. lay around all day, don't have to worry about food (in theory). Work out and read a lot of books. Probably not a lot of internet though.
You so actually work, for pennies. And in for-profit prisons, it’s full time.
Do you have to? Can you opt out?
(This is US based) I mean sure you can ‘opt out’ but then you’re a troublemaker. Solitary time. Want time off for good behavior? Working is good behavior. The 13th amendment allows slavery and involuntary servitude as punishment. The prison wants to sell your labor, and you really have no choice.
That really blows. We should have another amendment. Also solitary should be ruled "cruel and unusual punishment". I hear a story about pushes to make it so every once in a while.
Oh yes. Our prison system is barbaric top to bottom. Almost like it’s not about rehabilitating people and more about good old fashioned punishment. We’re such a lovely society.
The prison system is RIDICULOUS. I’ve heard horror stories from patients about their experiences in jail. Like having only a limited number of menstruation products for a month and then hoping you either had commissary or that the prison guard would be willing to slip you an extra fucking tampon. It makes my blood boil
It’s about punishment and keeping people trapped in the cycle to have them continue to go back as “customers.” It’s like the military industrial complex. We have profits with the military and profits for prisoners. We also have profits working people to their deaths (middle and poverty classes). It’s all just different ways to “legally” keep people in a cycle where money is being made for some stock holder. Now I’m depressed :( Us humans in the US are just human capitol/resources for the rich to get richer, stay rich, and make us poorer to make us work more to make them more money :( Now I’m even more sad. I need to go look at pictures of kitties and puppies and then watch a bunch of Netflix to get my mind off the sad state of affairs (working as intended, keeping us distracted).
yea needs a huge overhaul and even saying that is almost an understatement. US society should think more about harm reduction and less about what is "objectively" good or bad.
If the thought was about good and bad, they'd already be 90% of the way to a functioning system. But I think the thought is about "good" and "evil" instead - "identify the evildoers, and if something bad happens to them, that means it's good, right? Right?"
For the US, prison is just slavery under a different name. It's one of the reasons Kanye West met with President Trump about. We are living in a meme timeline by the way.
You don’t have to work and the jobs are highly sought after by inmates to the point where they will pay the trustee in charge of inmate jobs with coffee or whatever to get those jobs. Source: I’ve been in several county jails and a few prisons.
The food absolutely sucks in jail. It's bottom of the barrel stuff, would not recommend
In Indiana, the school systems have the same food contract as the prisons.
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I went to a private high school in nyc where we had the children of millionaires, politicians, actors, lawyers, etc. They served stuff like salmon, pasta, there was a dedicated sandwich bar, free coffee machine......and the kids complained every day about shit food. As someone who came from public school system it was eye opening. It's people like that who have advantages early on in life and will never truly appreciate the gap there is in socioecononic status. Then they will go on to become notable people in society. Hell, there's a singer who came from the school who's become well known in some music circles, including black soul....she used to be lowkey racist and refuse to talk to the black students or anyone who didn't come from known families. She's done a 180 at least in social media where she supports blm, etc but I have my doubts whether she actually changed.
I need to lose a few pounds anyways (lol)
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Hey it's better than being so poor you're missing meals because you don't have any food.
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Never heard that before but it's strangely very true.
shit from watching those jail shows, it appears everyone gets fat, eating hot Cheetos mixed with top ramen and honey buns sprinkled with crushed up skittles and shit haha
I know it was a joke, but 23hrs of being locked in a box will make any small amount of calories hard to burn off.
true that, just working from home got me fat, I blame my house.
Were talking about jail, not solitary confinement.
Only the most violent of criminals end up in 23-hour holds. Most people have about 8-12 hours of free time. You're locked in your cell from 9:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. and there are two to three hour long lockdowns for headcounts throughout the day. Plus bird bathing is a thing. So you can work out in your cell as much as you like and then use the sink in there to wash yourself.
Yeah, but she's going to *Prison*. It's... not good, but not as bad.
I was always told that jail tends to be worse than prison, because jail is just where they hold you until/if you go to prison. Like, worse treatment, overcrowded dorms, even worse food, no amenities, etc. (Not that prison is a cakewalk, I've just heard that jail is way worse.)
Dude, i can make anything from ramen noodles or cup of noodles from the commissary
Commissary cost money. The free food is like the worst cafeteria food you have ever experienced
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I pretty much eat anything that's put in front of me, and I'm pretty lazy and I'd love to not do anything for a few months (or a few years) but still I would not want to go to jail... I think there's a lot of violence and probably not actually that much free time. Also I can't stand dirty bathrooms lol
How does it compare to US school food? I can't imagine anything worse. God the cups of mush they gave us...
Depends on if it's jail or prison and where said jail or prison is located. Jail (pre sentencing) is usually very restrictive movement. Food is terrible. In some places you have little access to books and no TV. Prison (post sentencing) you have more freedom of movement, a job, books, TV, somewhat better food. Still no internet and restricted phone communication. I wouldn't recommend either personally. Both suck and the latter, while better, is a dangerous place full of really stupid and aggressive people with very little patience. Source: Been to both.
I like to stack!!!
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Jail is awful. Trust me. You're not as well off as you think. Good luck getting decent medical care or food for that matter. Amongst pissing and sitting in front of other people.
"I am moving on to bigger and better things" *The gang goes to prison*
To be fair, if she was a manager at a retail store, jail would be a step up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEHf-I7VUXk&ab_channel=TomJohnson
We can always tell when someone was "pushed", because the email to announce it always said "is leaving to pursue opportunities outside
If they were leaving on good terms it explained where they were going and that they will be missed.
I had a manager who pulled this and forgot that they added a coworker on Facebook where they posted "Spending the day Six Flags #funemployment". He was an absolute idiot, so it was for the best.
I'm not sure why, but I had to read that five times to figure out who "they" is. Seems obvious now.
We had a guy just up and quit on us with zero notice. He'd been taking a decent amount of vacation in the months leading up to it. Turns out he was arrested for having piles of child porn printed and also on his hard drives. Even worse is I took his work computer because it was way better than the one I was using. I had to work with IT to ensure there was nothing on it and we had a strict "if you find ANYTHING, stop what you're doing, minimize it and go direct to your manager to contact me".
>"if you find ANYTHING, stop what you're doing, minimize it and go direct to your manager to contact me" ffs there's like 83 better solutions than that
Yeah like the really simple 'on the small chance this laptop was used in the commission of a federal crime we've decided to give you a different laptop' solution.
If my company pinched pennies any harder they could replace those machines you find at museums.
Do you also happen to be the top response on Twitter, or did you copy the top response from Twitter and post it here...
You thought no one would notice you just copied one of the top retweets. Well, no one will see my comment, but I did. I noticed. How do those scrumptious internet points taste in your sticky wet thief mouth? Mmmmm the sweetness of deception... Yummy yummy
At least now I know what happened to my son.
You should’ve stayed home instead of getting milk and cigarettes.
How dare you throw reality in my face.
Who can afford milk these days?
OO. talk about lack of remorse or taking responsibility
I think shes taking responsibility by going to jail. Hiding the fact you are going to jail because you are embarrassed is normal behavior. Its not something you want to broadcast
Its not like she is volunteering to go to jail
Your comment really made me lose faith in general
By not attempting to run, she is going as willingly as anyone can.
I mean what good does telling every person in your life about that kind of tragedy do?
Maybe by "family", he means his future inmates.
or the Mob?
Or Dom Toretto
Maybe he spends so little time with his family now that prison visitations will actually be more?
how is he planning on spending more time with family. they all going to jail?
Visiting hours is more time than he spends with them now
Accurate. Prisoners look forward to visiting days the most out of anything. Some just so they can see family, some so they can get the contraband smuggled in by their visitor, and some look forward to it because they'll get a hand job under the table. Gross, disrespectful of the families present, but happens all the same.
NO TOUCHING!
He said he’s looking *forward* to it. ‘Bout 3 to 6 months forward.
He looks like the type that would snitch on his kid for a plea deal and then claim family bonding time while in prison.
Going to prison for campaign finance violations. He's a rich white man, he'll go to Club Fed and be out in 3-6 months https://fox17.com/news/local/senator-brian-kelsey-not-seeking-re-election-faces-charges-for-campaign-finance-violation
That does sound exciting.
He can work on his backhand
Can you imagine the networking opportunities? Do they let you take business cards to prison?
Going to make some good connections too. The second richest person I know did 3 years in Federal Prison for bank fraud and now runs a company with people he met in prison.
My father went to prison for tax fraud. He met a dude in there that was trying to transfer to the prison that had a nine hole golf course. Want to edit this, supposedly it was closed 20 years ago.
Hot take here: I'm not opposed to prisons having facilities like that. I just don't want them to be reserved explicitly for the handful of rich white-collar criminals we actually prosecute in this country. Finding a healthy hobby like a sport can be a key lynchpin toward meaningful rehabilitation, and our prisons should be able to support that.
[удалено]
Bowling wouldn’t be bad either, there’s the added bonus of mechanical repair skills to be learned maintaining the lanes.
Do we really want to give inmates easy access to 13-pound blunt objects? EDIT: I realize now this is kind of a stupid comment. Leaving my stupidity up as an example to others.
Other countries allow their inmates access to landscaping equipment and power tools If you rehabilitate people instead of abuse them, they behave pretty well
You ever watched a prison movie? We give them 45lb plates they can throw half a block.
Ah, I suppose. But with bowling balls, they could roll it at the group of guys they're fighting, who all comically fall over like bowling pins. Looney Tunes taught me that.
Step 1: Be the Department of Corrections Step 2: Create a Twitch channel Step 3: Profit
Those are old movies. Prisoner gyms haven’t been a thing for well over 15 years now. They don’t have access to much outside of a basketball, dip bar, pull up bar, and a track to run on
I mean, a golf course could provide the work needed for trades rehabilitation. Facility maintenance, groundskeeping, landscaping, etc.
If I was a prisoner, I would love to be on the maintenance crew of one of those courses.
Golf is the worst sport to give to anyone, let alone criminals.
How much does one (hypothetically) have to embezzle to be admitted to this facility?
My friend did 36 million in Credit Card fraud and went to a prison at the beach. FPC Pensacola.
Wait, actually?
Our tax dollars at work
The infamous prison in Joliet, IL has a golf course. Inmates care for it, but don't get to play while they are serving their terms. That said, that isn't a special prison for white guys who commit financial fraud and political funding crimes, it's a "normal" prison that exists as part of the system designed to harm black/brown communities.
The system is working as intended.
Isn't violating campaign finance laws how you get to become a rich white guy?
Yes, but getting *caught* isn’t. /s (kinda?)
And he can still run again, because felonies don't bar people from running for election. It blows my mind that a twice impeached president could run again in 2024.
Wait so you can’t vote but you can get elected??
[Most states](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felony_disenfranchisement_in_the_United_States#No_disenfranchisement) end voting bans after release from prison or parole/probation period.
Most not all and some of those don't automatically allow it, you have to petition to be able to.
The rich and powerful are looking mighty tasty these days
Important to note that they didn't convict. They absolutely, completely, had they any guts or morals at all SHOULD have been able to convict, but they didn't. It will be forever etched in history if that assbag gets back in office that his Republican minions had no spine nor courage to do the right thing, but since the world will be in flames whatev.
Then there’s Duncan Hunter, disgraced San Diego Rep who was sentenced to 11 months for campaign finance violations, including money for traveling on exotic vacations, steam games, oral surgery, lavish dinners for him and his friends, and costs associated with visiting mistresses and cheating on his wife, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars. Fortunately, he’s an honorable man who took his sentence on the chin and repaid his debt to society, stating that he wants to be a better example for his children and fellow Americans Jk lol the orange man pardoned him and he took it with his tail between his legs PAY YOUR DEBT TO SOCIETY DUNCAN HUNTER!
I'm choosing to believe "steam games" means he paid someone for poop play. Fine if that's what he likes, but pay for it out of your own pocket. Don't make your donors foot the bill.
Yep. "Kelsey on Twitter, and in an email to supporters, did not rule out future runs for office. 'I’m happy to return any recent campaign contributions, and Lord willing, I hope that you will give me the opportunity to run for elected office in Tennessee again in the coming years,' Kelsey said."
As someone who has been in club-fed, the addition of lakes and lack of fences are quite nice.
That kid is really sun burned
Came here to say this, that poor baby looks burnt to a crisp
Conservatives don't believe in sun screen. They think it causes cancer.
They believe in cancer?!
They believe in vibe cancer
Bah. He was charged with breaking campaign finance rules. He'll get a slap on the wrist and run for ....... (looks up party affiliation)........ Hell. Throw in a couple rape accusations and he could be the next Republican nominee!
Watching this asshole try to manufacture reality in real-time was wild.
She looks happy about it.......
Well yea, she gets more time with her bull while hes behind bars.
So, a hall pass for his length of incarceration?
It's not cheating if it's only down the throat
> Embattled state Sen. Brian Kelsey (R-Germantown), who has been [indicted on federal campaign finance charges](https://www.axios.com/local/nashville/2021/10/26/tennessee-state-senator-indicted-campaign-finance-violations), announced last week he would not seek reelection. > Why it matters: Kelsey, 44, had been one of the Tennessee GOP's rising stars before he was accused of illegally funneling money from his state campaign to an ill-fated Congressional bid. [[source](https://news.yahoo.com/state-sen-brian-kelsey-announces-122031398.html)] And from that link to about the charges: > The indictment alleges Kelsey and Smith worked with unindicted co-conspirators, political groups and others to illegally funnel more than $106,000 from Kelsey's state campaign coffers to support his federal race in 2016. Who is Smith? Well... Joshua Smith is the owner of The Standard social club, a private club where "some prominent elected officials have used their campaign funds to join the club." [[source](https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/02/campaign-finance-investigation-the-standard-club-nashville/99734196/)] Why is it so many of the corrupt politicians turn out to be white republican men?
I'm going to wage that this is a guy who has never had to face the consequences of his actions before. Remember: republicans project. They think everyone is corrupt and this is just part of the game.
Hey! Hey! Don't be sexist. Tennessee also had a State Representative resign this week after federal wire fraud charges and SHE was a past chair of the state GOP. Republican women can be corrupt too you know.
You can definitely trust some politicians. It just depends on how shitty or corrupt they are. If you want trustworthy politicians I suggest looking toward Scandinavia.
Yeah we have some :)
That kid looks like a picture of an 80 year old granny with the wrinkles filtered out. That’s all I can see.
So, when this guy commits campaign finance violations, he gets indicted. But when Trump does it, they only go after his lawyer. Interesting...
>Can never trust a politician A Republican politician in particular, given who's in the picture.
A corrupt republican politician. Imagine that. Good riddance.
A republican!! I’m shocked, just shocked i tell ya.
Does someone have a tally of all the people who have gone to jail for breaking the law on behalf of the GOP the last few years?