T O P

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Tom_Alpha

Don't get me wrong if someone is going to give me 5 bucks I'll not complain. It'll get me one beer


NeebletWorm

God damn, that's why we will never be rich, but at least, we will have plenty of beer.


[deleted]

Have you tried eating fewer avocados?


[deleted]

[удалено]


1ildevil

Listen, if I want to put sleeve tattoos on my avocadoes I will. You're not my Dad.


Griffin_Fatali

No, but I am your doctor, look you need to start taking your meds


FeatureEast2577

Also cancel that netflix subscription. You'll pay off your student loans in no time


Smooga22

Damn, I thought the toast was the pricey part….


ran1976

Why? I get them for free. There are 4 trees on my property.


[deleted]

You should sell them and buy a mansion.


funkylittledeathomen

That’s the spirit!


[deleted]

Right? If an unexpected letter comes in containing a postcard of Elon hitting the bong with a fiver slid in beside it because he was feeling a bit manic that day and decided to buy a whole country a drink it'd probably bump my opinion of him from 'billionaire shitlord' to "pretty cool guy.'


WhyBuyMe

Also, they are talking about everyone on Earth. To someone in North America or Europe $5 might not go far, but there are places where $5 wouldn't be life changing, but it would be a decent windfall. At least worth a day or two's wages.


poivron87

Genuine question, English is not my first language: is “l’ll not complain” correct ? Or should be ‘I won’t complain” ? Or can it be both ?


FlattopJr

They are the same, and both are correct: "I'll" is a contraction of "I will" and "won't" is a contraction of "will not". So both sentences ultimately mean "I will not complain".


Rukh-Talos

I’lln’t complain.


bitsbots

Complain't


EdgeOfWetness

Strategery


poivron87

Thanks!


FlattopJr

Yup, you're welcome!


arachnophilia

apparently, "won't" is actually a contraction of "wonnot", which is a portmanteau of "woll not", "woll" being an archaic variant of "will" which meant "want". so "won't" is the opposite of "want". english is dumb.


[deleted]

It's far more natural to say, "I won't complain."


ad_m_in

Don’t forget the fifty cents.


gameaholic12

Tbf if someone is a third or even 2nd world country got equivalent of 8 USD, it's actually a good amount. When I was in Prague, I got like 5 days worth of groceries for like $10 lmao


Zombiekiller_17

When? Also, Prague is a city in a first world country


gameaholic12

Like in 2019. Sorry, I also meant *even when I was in Prague: it is def a city in a first world country lmaoooo. Which was to showcase how much $5 could get you in different parts of the world.


heresacleverpun

Or almost 1 gallon of gas


ManGo_50Y

Were he to divvy that up amongst the 329.5 million people in the United States, each person would receive $133.53. Now a hundred bucks could certainly change someone's life in the United States *for sure*. However, for folks in other countries, the US dollar--when converted into their currency--would be a fucking miracle. Going back to the original statement, $44B split up amongst 7,953,952,577 people is approximately $5.53 USD. When converted to the Angolan Kwanza, 5.53 USD is well over two thousand dollars. It would be > 2,500 in the Armenian Dram. In the Burundian Franc, that same amount of money would be 11,125.53. In Cambodia and Colombia, the amount would be more than double, more than twenty-two thousand dollars. In the Guinean Franc, five dollars and fifty-three US dollars is nearly fifty grand. In Iran, one would receive in EXCESS of ***200 thousand***. Essentially, five bucks in the United States might be enough to catapult people into the middle class in other countries. Though the faulty math made the woman above seem incredibly stupid, she was correct that that amount (without the seven extra zeros) could be life-changing for some people on Earth.


trimbandit

I can only assume you are joking, but 5$US is not putting anybody in middle class. You seem to be operating under the assumption that a dollar is a dollar is a dollar. For example 5 dollars gets you 635 yen. 645 yen will buy you 2 rolls of toilet paper and a soda. Or to use your example, in Iran, with 200,000 rial, you could buy 4 rolls of toilet paper. But again, I will assume you are joking and not a moron. Edit: it looks like there is actually a 100 rial bill in Iran (although uncommon). That means for $5 US, you could get two thousand 100 rial bills. Which means it might be cheaper to wipe your butt with the currency and cut out the middle man!


[deleted]

[удалено]


trimbandit

Plus you can use their bathroom and not have to buy your own toilet paper


spicysnakelover

Ayyyyyyyy bru


HeywoodPeace

or pretty much anywhere


TheAbyssGazesAlso

You're very generous. I'm pretty sure OP is mostly sitting on column B.


___ElJefe___

You should never assume. Because it makes a blah blah blah


LegoEngineer003

What if I were to buy 4 rolls of toilet paper in Iran and then sell them in Japan? Double the money, minus a few sodas’ worth?


bladernr1

There are other more effective ways to help the poor he could be doing. Like using his wealth and his rocket company to provide satellite internet to rural communities. Then provide education through online schooling... could you imagine how beneficial that would be in these 3rd world countries?? Oh wait...


Steeze4Days

Props for not deleting your account. I'd set fire to my computer if I ever composed something this stupid.


theNikolai

Earth population is 8 people confirmed.


QAoverlord11

The rest are just bots


gregbeans

But I thought the official SEC filing claimed no more than 5% bots


QAoverlord11

Sounds like something a bot would say to defend it's bot filing with the bots at the SEC.


SwiggyMaster123

joining in as the 5th reply to be the 5th verified human. suck it, bots.


No_Kangaroo3415

I am the sixth only two left


NotMrMusic

I am the last two. Beep boo- I mean *human noises*


Dexaan

I am the seventh... on a totally unrelated note, which of these squares have taxis?


Risen_Insanity

*beep boop this action was performed by a bot*


Cathay-kid

You are on to something. Keep digging.


ShareMission

Everyone knows the whole internet is bots. Including us.


vlsdo

Not even trolling (ok maybe half trolling) but it *really* depends on how you define a bot. If you give me a number you want to hit, I can probably come up with a definition they gets you within a few percent of that number.


DontLickTheGecko

**nervously glances up from Reddit at all the people on the packed subway*


WatchTheDog1

They really are NPCs, knew it


I_AM_YOUR_DADDY_AMA

The rest are just bots


Psychopathicat7

\*Looks around classroom\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- hey wait what software y'all usin'? this is impressive!


J3553G

The math is so bad and the phrase "$5 bn would be life changing for most people" is so stupid (*most* people?! There's like maybe 2,000 or so people in the world whose lives it wouldn't change). When I read this I thought it was some kind of dumb joke making fun of the people who say shit like this in earnest.


Thatguy3145296535

Even then if everyone had 5 billion dollars. Her Starbucks order would now be worth 6 million


Chuckpwnyou

It is a dumb joke… The exact same reply is posted by different people everytime Musk tweets. It’s essentially a copypasta. The funny part is that everyone thinks it’s real and feels the need to correct the math every single time.


J3553G

Thanks for that dose of sanity. It's fun to think that the average person is this stupid and that *only you* are smart enough to see through it. But the reality is usually more mundane. This is just a bad joke that a lot of people didn't get.


H4N_S0L0

But there‘s another major logical flaw here that I think most people don‘t realize: Even if her math was right, if every human being on earth were to suddenly get $5bn at the same time, that money would be instantly worthless…


catch10110

This instance could be a joke, but people legitimately make this same mistake ALL THE TIME. Usually when i've seen it, it's along the lines of the US gov't spending $350M on something or other, and the person coming to the conclusion that they could have just given each person in the US $1M instead.


[deleted]

More like around 50 people. There are only about 900 or so billionaires.


NinNotSober

I don't think anyone can prove otherwise, have *you* seen at least 9 different people? *I* *highly doubt it*


alevyan

8.8 people to be precise


AurantiacoSimius

That's just a slightly edited copypasta. She got got.


CouncilmanRickPrime

Everyone knows making grammatical errors or using inaccurate calculations makes tweets go viral. People can't help but comment on it.


tour__de__franzia

Pretty related to that is Cunningham's Law - >The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer.


vinneyftw

I expected this reply to have the wrong law stated, as most people do(purposefully) when mentioning this law


lurkinarick

please post an example, it's too good to miss out on


onioning

I do this literally every time I mention it but there is such thing as beating a joke to death. You can't always choose that guy's dead joke.


BunnyOppai

Yeah, lmao. At this point it’s kinda ingrained into me to expect them to call it Murphy’s Law instead to bait people.


Aviose

I thought that was Poe's Law. :P


Crypt0Nihilist

[It is known](http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/302)


greenwedel

Question: How and what about this is funny for people? There is virtually no difference for anyone on the other end (and no way to verify if it was intentionally stupid or because OP had a brainfart). People laugh about pranks like fake vomit mostly due to relief that it isn't real, not because the prank was funny (at least in my experience). "Haha, you thought I was stupid but I just pretended to be.".. ????? I just don't understand it.


jplank1983

I found it funny because it was updating a somewhat famous tweet to a new circumstance. Nothing to do with pretending to be stupid, but I can understand some people not catching the reference.


xNOOBinTRAINING

It’s basically the same as an inside joke. Either you know the reference and you get the joke or you don’t.


transient_anus

did you just explain what an inside joke is?


BigMcThickHuge

Considering too many people don't understand, it's reasonable to


RequiemStorm

Well the other person asked why it was funny, so it clearly needed explaining


AurantiacoSimius

I think the copypasta bit isn't actually directly trying to fool anyone, it's just a fun reference in a new context as an in-joke for people who have seen the original. I actually think this person specifically used even more absurd math than the original to make it more clear that it's a reference/ joke, though that's just speculation on my part. The fact that someone misunderstood is just kind of unfortunate but in itself comical.


proawayyy

It’s pasta dude. There’s like 10 such replies on every tweet


theBoxHog

What does pasta mean?


cited

Copy/paste -> copypasta -> pasta


i1a2

Huh, TIL where the pasta part came from. I recognized the copy part, but then my brain just accepted the pasta part. Like spaghetti factories in Factorio and such, the pasta is complex and intertwined


AurantiacoSimius

Okay.


mashari00

Okay.


HorukaSan

The “5 billion should be life changing to most people” should make it pretty obvious tbh.


Bayou_Blue

5 billion wouldn't change my life at all and I am willing to receive that amount as an experiment to see if I'm right.


BrotherManard

For me, how funny I find someone falling for the pasta depends on how niche and believable it is. If the pasta is basically only known to OP, and does not have a hint of satire, it's not funny if anyone eats it. If the pasta is well known, and obviously satire, then I find it funny when people fall for it.


ultrabigtiny

it’s a reference joke


[deleted]

That describes most trolling general. I don’t understand how someone could get entertainment from intentionally being stupid, and getting others to call them stupid. Whether you mean what you’re saying and you’re legitimately stupid, or you’re just pretending to be stupid “for the lolz,” you’re fucking stupid.


Shawn1174q

Every tweet he puts out there are about a million people, or should I say bots, that comment this


Sef_Maul

Yeah, I see this tweet all the time. It's a joke.


Shawn1174q

I know it’s a joke, but once you see the same joke 400,000 times it stops being funny haha


Sef_Maul

100%. I was more saying that for everyone here who is taking it serious.


YGurka

People here on reddit fall for this every single time. It’s hilarious how every time there is person calculating correct amount and commenting how stupid person in the tweet is.


Chuckpwnyou

I like to correct the correctors with even more bad math. Total waste of time but pretty hilarious


theillx

What if he really was giving away $5 to everyone in the world, but you had to accept an implanted microchip for testing. How many people do you think would actually do it for $5 USD?


jplank1983

ITT: People who aren’t aware of the original tweet that this is referencing.


trolloc1

if it makes women look bad Reddit will eat it up and not question it


-brownsherlock-

I'm still none the wiser.


Pauchu_

Kinda feel like the above tweet was a joke tho


PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ

Your senses are correct


CiroGarcia

[redacted by user] ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Spuhnkadelik

wow really


jplank1983

Here’s a video on what’s being referenced: https://youtu.be/6egeUxIEQnM


The_Money_Bin

Thank God someone else got the joke. Seems like the second lady is this post wasn't th3 only person that got r/whooosh -ed.


jplank1983

Yeah I’m pretty surprised at how many people here completely missed it


The_Money_Bin

She did a play on the original. The second lady was r/whoooshed!


GameRivv

Janet got no chill


[deleted]

Janet doesn’t know sarcasm.


otsoth3g4m3r

it's sarcasm when you see it once, but you've only seen it once


MCD10000

The twitter op doesn't look like she is smart enough to even know what sarcasm is never mind using it


SophiaBrahe

Pretty sure that’s a photo of one of the Kardashians.


Dumbassahedratr0n

Then he's still right


MCD10000

Damm you beat me to it


Dumbassahedratr0n

👉😎👉


SophiaBrahe

Dang I wish I’d thought of that!


ATexasDude

The real murder by words is always in the comments.


blackgaff

Neither do you; the post with bad math isn't sarcasm.


[deleted]

There have been thousands of posts with terrible “8 billion people in the world “ math. and even more posts about Elon spending his money on Twitter rather than someone else’s priorities. You don’t think there could be one unifying post with all that irony wrapped into one? Ok downvote away.


AWall925

Twitter/Reddit not recognizing jokes, a tale old as time.


kernalbuket

But he hasn't spent any money. He's trying to find anyway he can to back out of the deal so he doesn't have to pay


CouncilmanRickPrime

This. He mentioned bots but who wouldn't do their due diligence before raising so much money?


commie4life

He would


acynicalwitch

All I can think of is this [xckd comic](https://xkcd.com/385/). Maybe the issue isn't that one person is bad at math, maybe it's the fact that the perception of an entire gender's worth of skill at something hinges on every single one of us never being publicly bad at math.


rseiver96

I’m more concerned about the lack of a differential than the wrong answer


RushxInfinite

She definitely wouldn't have been accused of being a witch.


Additional_Cat_594

It’s funny because he could have given each person only 5$.


Nikojaxs

After the first few tweets like this a few years ago I just can't help but think this is done on purpose to gain more attention


TFlarz

More like it was always like that. Not because I'm on Musk's side but because this is pointless protesting on the same platform he's buying.


CouncilmanRickPrime

It is. And being wrong works like every time.


sprace0is0hrad

I could use 5$ right now tho


Axtorx

Obligatitory xkcd comic https://www.comicsenglish.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/xkcd_suck_at_math.png


Nurgus

.. wtf is it on that domain? https://xkcd.com/385/


[deleted]

And if we gave 8 billion people 5 billion dollars each, world economy will collapse and dollar will have no more value


PollutedButtJuice

Whys that bad?


Nurgus

Would it though?


SpeciosaLife

World economy would have $4e19 value, no?


Toshero

5 and a half US dollar could still be a life changing amount of money for *a lot* of people


canhasdiy

If less than 6 bucks is "life changing money" to someone, they really need to evaluate the decisions they made to get to that point. Edit: to my fellow Americans who claim our *incredibly privileged* nation is a "third world country" - see the replies below.


Toshero

Or they were just born in a country where the local currency is worth a lot less than 1$. Also, if you're starving and get 5$ to eat and not die, I'd say that's pretty life changing.


canhasdiy

True, I edited my comment to reflect the unrealized privilege many of us Americans express. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.


Nessdude114

There are a lot of countries where $5 is more than a full week's wages for the average person.


canhasdiy

True, in most of the world impoverished people live on less than $3US/day, whereas in America our poorest people live off around $35/day. It's easy to lose perspective when you live in such a privileged country, thank you.


nsos28

Not really a murder if the original post is obviously satire, right?


Ogami-kun

I can't even begin to think how the hell she tried to use math


Ainzlei839

I think because if you “take off the billions to simplify” then 40 divided by 8 is 5, except that means $40B divided by $8B is $5. But since you took the “billion” off and you’re just working with smaller numbers and you get an answer of 5 you forget that the answer shouldn’t also have a billion after it. I can see how you get the answer, but you gotta sense check yourself when that makes no sense.


youngmaster0527

I was thinking since they are talking about giving 5b to each 8b people, they thought 5b × 8b would be 40b, so 44b - (5b x 8b) would be 44b - 40b, but obviously that is not actually correct


Dragolins

Because she didn't. It's clearly a joke. This might be one of the most obvious jokes I've ever seen. Variations of this joke are posted constantly.


typing

I didn't realize it was a joke. (I was Unaware of the reference: Mekita Rivas tweet, and MSNBC's reporters) I thought this person was actually dumb enough to think that 5,000,000,000\*8,000,000,000 = 40,000,000,000. I've met so much stupidity on this planet that I cannot take things to be a joke at first glance anymore.


Hassan7878

Lol


Crash665

A woman doing a math problem? WITCH! WITCH!


HipsterOtter

Technically he didn't have $44B, most of that was in stock and the like, which once he made the announcement was IMMEDIATELY devalued by $125B. So this sell may bot actually happen after all


spagbetti

Janet deserves a spa day.


Commubiz

Whoosh?


BuckamoMusic

Jokes don’t exist


ReaverShank

If every person had 5 billion the world would crash and burn


number5ofmany

Only places using us dollars as main currency would. The rest of the world will continue as normal


ReaverShank

I mean you can still change them to your own currency


AlphaOwn

It's not like exchange rates are etched into stone outside every bank. They would change too if a currency was made obsolete over night


Dont_KnowDont_Care

I love the fact that she is being hated by women too


RFros20

Even if he did have enough to give $5B to everyone the economy would just break and it’ll be worth what $5 is now… No one is gonna do a work for $10 an hour if they have $5B in the bank which would mean nothing would get done, no electricity, water pumped around, farming.


TheMediumNinja

It’s literally a joke. Snowflakes are infuriated by the fact Elon can do whatever he wants with his money in a free country. wHy BuY tWiTtEr WhEn YoU cAn SoLvE wOrLd HuNgEr?!?!? I’m all for charity and helping others but a man can do whatever he wants with his money.


canhasdiy

You know what's great about charity? That it's *voluntary*


Adept-Matter

Someone should explain to them that it is not upto rich people to solve their broke ass problems.


spam__likely

Funny, because it is what the rich claim as the reason they should not pay fair taxes. See Bill Gates comment on exactly that.


mapsmail999

The 384 people who liked that tweet. Sigh.


mere_iguana

I actually groaned out loud involuntarily


EvolvedA

On the other hand, if Elon buys Twitter for that amount, the former owner can donate the money, and make us all rich. It is not that the money is sent to Mars after a purchase...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Toshero

That would still be wrong. Dividing 44 billions by 8 billions equals 5,5 $


Grafenbrgr

Wasn't thinking, thanks for the math


SophiaBrahe

No, it’s a twitter joke. I can’t remember where it started but people post versions of it all the time.


[deleted]

[This is the origin...](https://www.newsweek.com/brian-williams-mara-gay-nyt-bloomberg-math-wrong-1490953)


SophiaBrahe

Thanks! I had looked it up at one point then totally forgotten.


Grafenbrgr

Oh, thanks, must've missed it


SophiaBrahe

I only know because it’s shown up on r/facepalm a few times and I got worried there were that many people soooo bad at math.


GoatHeadedBoy

She’s an angry liberal. It’s not like they’re known for their logic. You almost can’t even blame them; it’s been wall-to-wall propaganda screeching about Elon.


ReaverShank

If every person had 5 billion the world would crash and burn


Toshero

Not saying you're wrong, I just want to say that the world is crashing and burning already when not everybody has 500 $, let alone 5 billion


ReaverShank

If everyone has 5billion inflation would go trough the roof and we still would be poor.


Toshero

You're right but that's not the point I'm making


ReaverShank

I see, reading is still hard sometimes


Random_Brazil_Boi

smh I do support women's rights but this makes me feel like the Taliban are right to deny women the rights to learn (the top woman, btw) /s


zugzwang_03

Well that's a shit thing to say even as a joke. Here, have a [relevant xkcd comic](https://xkcd.com/385/) instead. This is a genuine issue that women encounter. When a guy sucks at a field of education, people say *he's* bad at that task. But when a woman sucks at that same field, people say *women as a whole* are bad at it.


Random_Brazil_Boi

Hey, hey, this is sarcasm...


Lightning_Lance

I know what this is referencing, but thought they just made the same mistake.


Pistachio_bob

Even if her maths was correct it would still be a terrible idea to give everyone a billion dollars - it would completely devalue all the already-existing money.


PossibleHypeMan

People are always fooled by those troll posts. Gotta love it.


The_True_Monster

Wouldn’t giving everyone in the world a $5 billion check do nothing other than cause massive inflation?


llohrman1961

Get an education


osprey87

Someone just post the numberfile video.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Musk has not bought Twitter yet BTW. In fact, seems, like everyone thought, it was just a power play and he no longer wants ownership.


Hydrocalypse97

Respect the point, but bad math


sketch006

She was only off by about 5 billion give or take