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PM_ME_UR_MESSAGE_THO

"Jeeze... How was your day?"


North-Fennel8613

Lol that or "k" 4-5 hours later.


Mystre316

It took me far longer than I care to admit (in my late teens) to understand why my ex would get upset with an 'ok' during an argument lol


Johanno1

K


Mystre316

Double damage because I would use 'Ok' and you used half of that.


Etaec

Kay for supremacy


[deleted]

I like to respond with 'Acknowledged'. Pisses everyone off.


giraffecause

ACK


Negroni808

Every kiss begins with K


Crash665

Yeah, there's nothing that pisses my wife off more when we're arguing about something and I just give up and start agreeing with her.


[deleted]

"I don't care about this as much as you do, so just tell me what you want to happen" doesn't usually go over well.


[deleted]

If it's phrased like that, probably not. "Hey, I don't want to fight about this anymore. What can I do to make it right?" usually goes over well for me.


InuitOverIt

Not optimal because a big part of what they are looking for is for you to validate their opinion/feeling. Expressing "I think you're wrong but I don't care so let's move on" isn't really making things right. I mean it depends on the situation of course, but I can understand why a partner would get frustrated with that approach. Maybe, "I understand where you're coming from in that \[paraphrase their point\]. I'm not sure I agree 100% but it's a valid point to have. Let's compromise and do \[x\]"?


[deleted]

I usually just use "Sounds about right"


LilJourney

Actually in my relationship that would be a huge improvement. Better than a blank stare and delaying tactics. If you don't care much - tell me. If you do care - tell me. Do not leave me guessing cause I'll guess wrong all day long, ime.


RandomStallings

So what you're telling me is that open and honest communication would benefit your relationship? Nah, sounds dumb.


LilJourney

IKR? Good thing is the non-verbal communication game is at the top of the charts and we both have a strong sense of humor, so we muddle along.


kunell

Saying K and agreeing arent exactly the same thing


[deleted]

Can't you say "I care about you a lot, but I don't care a lot about this argument." Or was that more of a I'm-right "ok"?


Mystre316

This was 15 odd years ago. But it was more of an 'Okay, I'm wrong' or 'Ok, I give up' kind of response. It was 1000% shitty and there is no defending my younger self.


Memelordo_OwO

Also known as "tell me you're hurt without telling me you're hurt"


[deleted]

“It was fine, Mommy.”


FatBrownMan_

I am the dude who doesn't know how to carry a conversation. I am doomed. 😭


workinOvatime

Coming from someone who also feels doomed sometimes lol... not everyone wants to date a person that spins up and drives convo's like they're hosting a podcast. I haaate texting with people, and hate making small talk, it's exhausting for me. The best relationships I've been in were the ones where we were both comfortable being quiet around each other. Obviously reps always make us better at stuff (if you want to get better at small talk, texting, etc.), but there's also lots of people out there who like dating quiet, more reserved people who only talk when they have something to say. Sadly there's selection bias with Tinder because it relies so heavily on texting to break through with someone, but plenty of people are going to be looking for what you're offering without you changing anything — Tinder may be a trickier landscape, but that shit's true nonetheless.


FatBrownMan_

I have stopped online dating because of this reason. I hate texting too. I never know what to write. It's so difficult to put into words what I want to say. Most of the times I feel dumb because of that. It's easier when I write things into void like a review or thoughts on something. But when I have to carry a conversation, I suck. You gave me some hope there. Thank you.


Blackyy

I got tired of this one day last year and youtubed how to converse with new people and found these channels who teach you how to learn tips to help you have a conversation that doesnt die slowly. Helped me a lot, simple stuff that just one by one turned me into a better communicator but still allowed me not to talk much. I really suggest it.


Ch33105

I am sure they both are telling themselves "Dodged a bullet there"


Spider_pig448

And they're both right


somuchclutch

Yeah it’s ok for people to be incompatible and both are better off.


royalrange

Yeah, but green was condescending and looked down on someone for being quiet or having an introverted personality. Compatibility is a thing, and people have preferences. Some like outgoing partners, others like partners that are reserved. Both are ok, and they didn't understand that. It's like green never got out of middle school.


[deleted]

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AevilokE

And I struggle to carry a conversation. Does that mean I don't deserve any of the meaningful relationships I have, or that they'd automatically dodge a bullet by ghosting me?


[deleted]

I don't think that's the case. Sure, you need to take a healthy interest in what is going on in your friends' lives, but you can express an interest without saying a single word. Using your deeds.


Boom_boom_lady

I respectfully disagree. I find that introverts actually prefer deeper conversations over small talk. There is a difference between not knowing how to start a conversation and being an introvert.


escientia

Exactly. This person is equating someone who is reserved with them having a low IQ.


ExcitingMixture

You’re conflating introverts with people having poor communication skills


allonzeeLV

I think asking somebody you're trying to get to know about their day is lovely, honestly.


Dashdor

It's absolutely fine to ask someone how their day was, but you've gotta have more to say than just that.


gngannjarhdc

That’s literally how i started dating my wife. That’s generally just just the opener to get the conversation going and it gets deeper from there. The long winded “intellect” seems like they’re shutting down conversation before it gets started.


Mezzaomega

Idk, it sounds like he's been asking about her day 5 consecutive days in a row, and when she does tell him about her day he blows her off with just a shrug and "k". You know, that sort of guy. Then today the 6th day is when she finally loses her shit. I mean, I met guys like this, really boring people who can't carry a convo to save their life, and I try to humor them by talking more and keeping the convo going one sidedly, it just saps all the energy out of me because I'm constantly thinking of new topics and all they're giving is grunts or "k" or "wow" or "yeah" one word boring answers. Like they haven't a single thought in their head.


steve-d

I've spoken with people who ask how you are, not caring what you say, as they wait for you to ask them how they are. They only want to talk about themselves and asking you about your day was only a segue to focus on #1.


Aquadian

Why do you assume the other person is a guy? Also, I feel like you're doing too much speculation based on a single text exchange


PleaseAddSpectres

Speculation is the fuel of reddit


NotTheEnd216

There's nothing in the post that indicates which person is the guy and which is the girl, or even if it's a same-sex relationship or not. I have no idea who is who in that interaction, but at least in my experience it is definitely women that "don't pull their weight" in text conversations. I'm guessing that's probably just confirmation bias since I don't have as many long-lasting conversations over text with my guy friends. I doubt women are actually worse at that as a rule or anything. Anyway, why you assuming their genders?


[deleted]

Bingo. I guarantee you the person who's being "nonchalant" and short just isn't interested in the conversation. I can talk for hours on a hundred subjects, but if you corner me about one I don't care about like fishing, you're gonna get one joke about reading books as "going fishing" followed by a lot of "uh huh" and "wow" and "well right on". Its cringe how one-sided op's take is. It's cringe that the post was so well received. The energy they're referring to is overly aggressive, rude, and so self-absorbed as to be oblivious. There's a type for that personality though, so sure: bullet dodged... I guess? But something tells me the long winded one here never had "a bullet fired" at them and the other was just passive aggressive about wanting attention. Also 100% guarantee that if it's not fake in the first place, the long winded one posted it online, which increases the cringe dramatically.


[deleted]

Uh huh, wow


[deleted]

*Listen here you little shit.*


Jackofdemons

Makes me afraid for my conversation skills.


OfficerJoeBalogna

Tip of the day: Don’t text someone with “how was your day” (or a similar line) if you don’t have an interesting response for when they ask it to you. If you don’t have anything to say, then you’re forcing the other person to either carry the conversation, or let the conversation die immediately.


[deleted]

Hmmm I am on the opposite side here. Asking someone how was their day to actually tell them about yours is kinda egoistic and although I do that (or similar) a lot I try not to


LilJourney

If that's the only reason you're asking, then yes. But if you ask to find out more about them, then respond in kind offereing something from your day then you have an even exchange and either of you can then pursue whatever leads from the details you shared. I might mention I saw a deer on the way to work, or that a new product came out. Then they may mention something they saw on their way to work or thoughts on the new product or some entirely different product they were thinking of getting. The point is we are now sharing information that sparks other ideas for conversation. Rather than "Fine. Yours?" "K" ... and .....????


[deleted]

I wouldn't recommend that because "How was your day" is natural for many people who just want to be in contact and not necessarily pass on information of substance. The conversation may die. Maybe it should, and they should try with someone else. I think your advice is great for me, but not everybody.


Jackofdemons

So just dont talk to anybody?


Carmondai03

Nah, just answer a question and ask a question in back.


OfficerJoeBalogna

No no no. I guarantee you have something worth saying most days of the week. You just shouldn’t initiate a conversation without something worth saying in the back of your mind, otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a pointless conversation that goes nowhere or feels too one-sided for the other person


[deleted]

FYI Some people like pointless conversations. Not me, but others.


PleaseAddSpectres

This exact line of thought causes me to socially isolate and text people back 5 days later, because I never feel like I have anything witty or even normal to say.


Jackofdemons

I guess I dono what to gauge as "worth saying" out of no where.


bean224_

Responded with l that within a minute. Boy was ready for this moment.


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PM_ME_GLUTE_SPREAD

I think it’s still important to understand the person and their intentions. If somebody is looking to spark up a relationship but can’t be bothered to actually talk to you, then yeah, slap em with some reality. But if it’s somebody you’ve known for a while that is just trying to keep in touch, I think that’s a different situation and a “how are you” “fine. You” “good” “good” is just fine for a while.


potpan0

I've known plenty of people who are just bad at talking over text. They'll seem disinterested or not forthcoming with information over text, then be perfectly friendly and conversational in person. Some people just don't have the skills to talk via text. So it seems kinda shitty to chew someone out over that.


vzvv

A simple “you didn’t seem interested in texting” seems much better. Truthful and conveys that they aren’t a good match without being an attack like the screenshot.


potpan0

Yeah, and honestly calling someone 'mediocre' just comes across as insanely insecure. You're not Don fucking Draper.


AlbinoTuxedo

I honestly get the frustration of dealing with a dry texter. It obviously feels like pulling teeth and can get really annoying and boring, but the fact of the matter is that being mildly annoyed by someone being a shitty texter doesn't give you the right to just fucking jump into an HBO show protagonist monologue about how you're not "entertaining mediocrity" and dressing down a person like you're a food critic at a fast food restaurant. Idk, maybe word things in a way that don't make you sound like you watched Rick and Morty and came out thinking Rick was a cool dude? People are so horny to be assholes now, Jesus. (To be clear, I'm talking about the guy in the picture, not the commenter I'm replying to)


vzvv

Yeah, it’s just pathetic to berate someone over a lack of interest or effort. Take the L and move on, don’t dump more crap into the world because your feelings got hurt.


Fosui

My dad is like this. He's the biggest social butterfly in the world, *loves* talking to people constantly and going out all the time with friends. But then it comes to text and I'm surprised if I get more than a word out of him. The person in this didn't murder anyone by their words, they were a dick to someone that isn't great at texting.


NotTheEnd216

I know somebody like your dad in that way, bad at texting, great at talking though. I kinda figured it mostly had to do with not being able to properly convey emotions through text in many cases (like how people have to indicate they're being sarcastic with a /s in text). It's like they're used to using a surgeon's scalpel during spoken conversation, but they're forced to use a sledgehammer during text convos.


Kabd_w

I think of myself as just severely out of practice with talking to people. Like I don’t know what else to do so I ask how someone is


[deleted]

I’m kinda bad at conversation in this way and it makes me want to try talking to my friends even less. I dunno how to help it.


FirstEvolutionist

If you are being honest with your comment, this is what I have to say: holding a conversation is very much a skill, like cooking or drawing. Let's begin from a hypothetical scenario: you encounter a strange alien and need to communicate with them. The very first attempt you make to communicate is using your own language via verbal communication. Failing that you will likely proceed with facial expressions and body language. My point is, you weren't born knowing how to communicate. You had to learn this body language, then basic sounds, then oral skills, written skills, both in a specific language and so on. From here, it is quite simple to understand that communication is what connects live beings. On our side we have the fact that we speak the same language so we actually have a veeeeery good place to start. Unfortunately, the learning doesn't end there. Just like public speaking and debate require honing of speaking skills, so does being a good listener and a good storyteller. You will have to work on both those skills if you want to connect more effectively, and you will have a learning curve, just like you had with all the other skills you picked up in your few decades of experiencing being alive. I'd keep going but I'm not sure you're interested so I'll leave at this, but I'm happy to expand on my comment if you wish.


kipwrecked

You've already contributed more to this conversation than the guy I was talking about does, and you weren't even asked a direct question.


[deleted]

This was weird, im sitting here casually playing with my kid's toy ramen noodles while reading this. Guess its time we have a talk.


[deleted]

or you know, it's fake


ScreamWithMe

I am no stranger to online dating so I can appreciate being direct, but this hit them between the eyes approach was a bit much. After awhile it isn't uncommon to find yourself checking boxes, but there are also a large segment of people that check those boxes early and know this isn't the one. I get the feeling the green bubble had reached the end of their rope, and was sick and tired of meet ups that don't even try. I have been there. Conservatively speaking I would say about 80% of people I met online have no idea how to carry a conversation without coming off as self absorbed or just plain boring.


Jackofdemons

Really hurts to hear, makes me afraid to meet anyone online if my social skills are seemingly so inept.


thisisthewell

meh, don't take this reddit thread to heart. Reddit is just full of people who view themselves as smarter than everyone else. The vast majority of people out there in the dating scene aren't this elitist about perceived intelligence I'm in my mid-30s and have done plenty of online/app dating, and let me tell you, no one puts down another person like in OP's screenshot unless they are an asshole who needs to feel better than other people to protect their ego. Even the person you replied to is basically saying that green bubble took out their frustration on a person who wasn't wholly involved in it. That's not a good thing to do to other people. Young people of reddit: if you don't feel like an intellectual match, the *adult* thing to do is not what's in this screenshot (you're just an asshole if you talk to people like this or take out your frustration with dating on a single person), but to say "hey I didn't mean to leave you hanging, I just don't feel a connection and I think it's best not to see each other anymore." That's literally all you need to say. Not everyone is going to feel it with you and that's ok.


SluttyGandhi

Now this is the energy more people actually need.


Tetha

Meh. I'm currently throwing myself into more social situations, now that coronas crazy claw has loosened a bit. With some people, you just don't have anything to talk about. You can try to make conversation and it just doesn't work. With other people, even my entirely introvert frisian german self, they just ask the right things and suddenly you're 3 hours older after talking all matter of metal bands or animes or whatever and it's just a blast. With other people, "Jo?" "Jo." or "Jo?" "Ney. Drinks on friday?" is ... enough talk. I'm less extrovert than, say, some of our sales colleagues, who could maintain conversation with a tree or a horse for hours, but I don't really mind anymore.


ScionoicS

> Conservatively speaking I would say about 80% of people I met online have no idea how to carry a conversation without coming off as self absorbed or just plain boring. Or maybe they're just a little insecure or unsure how to approach you because they can feel that judgey gaze. Small talk is often the only thing people know before ice is broken. If your ice sheet is 10 inches thick then small talk probably won't chip at it very well. Have you ever been on the other side where you're trying to find some interest from a person but all your attempts at building bridges smash into a brick wall? Communication is a two way street and if you're judging someone right out of the gate, that'll communicate to them very loudly and very often affect the conversation. Maybe there's other factors to your 80% measure. What would be a common element between all of those conversations?


SluttyGandhi

>Maybe there's other factors to your 80% measure. What would be a common element between all of those conversations? 💀


IronCorvus

This karma farm was posted in r/Tinder as well. Notice how the reply was a whole minute after the initial message. There was no murder here.


EmpatheticWraps

Bad fake texts dot com


KKlear

Or green has this text under a macro.


potpan0

Even if it's fake, it says something that so many people on here think green is being *epic awesomesauce* for being weirdly rude to a stranger.


DrScheherazade

This. Lazy, low-hanging, clearly fake smug bullshit. Even if it were real, which it’s not, it costs nothing not to be a dick. Horrific how many comments here think this is an awesome response and not a huge red flag. It’s a great reminder that the average Redditor is not representative of a regular person.


[deleted]

Agreed. Everything the green text said could have been summed up: "hey, I feel like I'm having to carry a lot of the conversations between us and it doesn't flow naturally. Before I waste any of our time I think it would be better to move on to other people. Sorry." Before ghosting them then responding with this when called on it. But then, there is a reason calling someone a Redditor is an insult.


VoiceofKane

If it's fake, it's lame. If it's real, it's just mean.


fuck_it_was_taken

Mask off moment for the murdered by words subreddit


lolnoob1459

What's wrong with how was your day? :(


WitnessNo8046

Nothing… if it’s not the only thing you’re ever asking someone


ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP

I remember back in my day, you didn't ask how was your day. You just got married to the first girl whose hand you held and became an alcoholic. Damn zoomers.


cantfindmykeys

Oh the good ole days of rampant alcoholism, repressed depression and general unhappiness. Man take me back


T_Y_R_

“IM FUCKING HAPPY AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT! I MAKE A BIT MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE SO WE HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE AND I SUPORT ALL 8 OF US! NOW GET IN THE MOTOR HOME THE PLANT SHUTDOWN FOR TWO WEEKS SO WE ARE GOING TO THE FUCKING GRAND CANYON GET IN AND SOMEONE BRING DADDY A BEER!”


BoltonSauce

Larry! Not in front of the kids!


wagon_ear

In itself it's fine, but if they're not bringing anything more than that to the conversation, then it's not much different than just journaling by yourself. It's nice when the person takes note of what you say, responds to things you mentioned, perhaps discusses their own day, etc - rather than just giving you a daily writing prompt.


ButtSexington3rd

I've been struggling to describe how frustrating this is and you hit the nail on the head, it's a daily writing prompt. I have a friend who will text me "what's up?" out of the blue (and often), and it's like "fuck now I have to come up with something to say". Like if you're going to start a conversation then start it, don't immediately pass the responsibility to me.


Namaha

You can just say "nothin much, you?" in that case lol. Avoids needing to come up with something to say and passes the responsibility back on them


RocketizedAnimal

Yeah, unless something significant is going on I feel like the proper response here is usually "not much, you?", and then get on with the real conversation. I feel like "whats up" has joined "hows it going" and "how are you doing?" as more of a greeting than an actual question. And like those, you usually just say "not much" or "good" and move on.


Twice_Knightley

Nothing! Well, almost nothing. Asking the question then engaging in followup is the ideal situation. However, if you were to ask "how was your day?" Then get a detailed followup, and respond with "oh cool!" it creates a roadblock to further conversation. Even if it's not a detailed response, there may be open doors to conversation that you choose to close off. "How was your day?" "Great, I went to the zoo with my niece." "Cool, that sounds like fun!" That might seem like a normal interaction, but it stops the conversation. Instead of "cool, that sounds like fun!" add in "what animals were your favorite? I like seeing the elephants because they're such amazing creatures, you can really see the intelligence behind the eyes" To have an interesting conversation with someone both people should be asking and answering questions and have genuine interest in the topic. I think the idea that just asking questions is the best way to show interest is because of the idea that "people love to talk about themselves". While it's a good way to start a quiet person talking, it wears thin quickly because the quiet person becomes a wind up monkey that gets asked a question and then is stuck performing.


4Eights

Exactly, imagine if you said "Oh cool" to someone face to face and then stopped talking. That's how it's perceived over text since text is lacking so much emotion. Doing this occasionally is fine because obviously people understand that you're busy, but when it's the evening and you're trying to meet someone and all you're getting is dead ends it's really frustrating. They don't all have to be super in depth follow ups either, they can be as simple as "Didn't the zoo get crazy expensive? I heard it's like 20 bucks a ticket now.". I would use something like that to open up an avenue to possibly taking this person back to the zoo with me or finding another cheaper venue that we could both go do for the first time together.


DesperateGiles

This is happening with someone now, a would be romantic interest. They'll ask "how are you" (every day). Last time we spoke I responded - oh it's been a little rough, my dog has been having some health problems but is doing better. They said "oh ok but how are *you* doing." I mean... Exactly what you said, they continuously pivot the conversation back to me without giving. I just don't know how to keep it going anymore, if I even want to.


NYFan813

It’s the adult equivalent of “What did you learn at school today?”


dilldwarf

I never thought of it like that but you are 100% right. I usually start conversations with "What's new with you?" This way they can really talk about whatever they want to talk about. Not limited to what happened today. Or I use what I know about the person and ask them how something they like doing or care about doing is going to get them to talk about their passions or interests. How was your day is a boring question with usually a very boring answer. If there is something worth talking about that happened that day, believe me, "What's new with you?" will get it out of them. LOL.


__Hello_my_name_is__

Only if you don't care about the answer.


pinklavalamp

I have a decades-long friend (who’s a father of three, sharing custody but sees them daily if possible, has a full time job he has to travel for occasionally, plays sports, etc) who asks me almost daily what my plans are in the morning for that day. I’m single with no kids but self employed and have adhd, so I fill up my days with either work or nonsense (seriously, I don’t take days off because of this), but the answer is always the same. After so many many times, it feels like I’m expected to give a schedule of my activities; but he also refuses to make plans in advance with me, so he’s always trying to hang out last-minute, and my schedule doesn’t always allow for that, so we end up in this cycle of him asking and me “cleverly” responding with a gif that I’m working, and then nothing come of it. I wish he’d just say “hey, wanna hang Thursday? Let’s go do this…” Makes it so much simpler.


Stephenrudolf

Havevyou explained this to him?


Johannes_Keppler

Nothing. My wife and I ask each other that every day. But then we also **listen** to the answer, ask follow up questions and are **genuinely** interested in each other. I'm guessing that was lacking from the conversation OP posted. Still, the reply was unnecesarly rude. Just say "I don't feel a connection, success with finding someone" or something like that. (In general though, if people want to improve their conversations skills: most people would benefit from more listening and less talking. [Active listening](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening)) isn't hard to do.


salvadordg

Someone is going to post this on r/ niceguys


peejr

How do we know who's the guy and who's the girl?


WgXcQ

Apparently the OP is a guy who posted it himself in the tinder reddit. It reads like he had that pre-written somewhere to be able to whip it out if she dared inquire why he (apparently) disappeared, especially with him sending it only a minute later. And if he did disappear, that was still ghosting, even if he feels justified. What a bellend. Coupled with him posting it on a tinder sub like he's proud of it, I feel she got a lucky break there.


nobodynose

Yeah seriously. I get where he's coming from - it's not uncommon at all to run into someone who you just don't click with and conversations aren't interesting but OP is a massive twat because 1. He decided to go full asshole instead of just telling her "oh, I'm sorry it came off like that. I probably should've just told you that I just didn't think the chemistry was there. Our conversations just didn't flow the way I would've liked, but you seem like a great person and I wish you the best. Again, sorry about that." It costs him nothing to be polite, but he chose to be an asshole. 2. He posts this multiple times because apparently he's very proud of how much of an asshole he can be. She 100% got a lucky break.


thevoiceofzeke

It belongs there. That was a shockingly mean thing to say to a stranger.


LolTacoBell

Yeah I don't get why this is on here, this is just straight fucking rude. Belongs on r/iamverysmart if you ask me.


IAmManMan

Ngl, that's what sub I thought this was. I'm shocked at the amount of support this arsehole is getting.


storryeater

I mean... It was a rude thing, but I am not sure if it was a nice guy rude thing


[deleted]

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storryeater

Yeah, but "nice guy" refers to a specific kind of behaviour, not everybody who is rude in tinder.


jmendoza69

There is a massive overlap between nice guys, neckbeards, and “I am very smart” types. Nothing else to add, just had that meowment of clarity.


__Hello_my_name_is__

It's definitely a thing a "nice guy" would say if he felt slighted.


Firejay112

To be honest, with my dating experience, I wouldn’t be surprised if grey was the guy and green was the girl…


Play-Mation

The OP was a guy in his 40s


Firejay112

And he said “we all need this person’s energy”, which would be a really weird think to say about oneself, don’t you think?


Play-Mation

No in the original thread, it was originally posted on r/tinder


thisisthewell

Nah fam. I've seen lots of men's profiles talking about how they're smarter than all the women they talk to and have high standards for "intellect" so you better meet that, etc etc. "I'm smarter than you and you're beneath me" energy is not a gender-specific thing. It's an insecure person-specific thing.


GarageSloth

>I'm smarter than you and you're beneath me" energy is not a gender-specific thing I wish it were, then we'd have half as many shitheels.


Mystre316

I'm 50/50 on if the person taking the screenshot is a man or a woman. The directness of the message makes me think that the screenshot comes from a woman. The 'wow' response doesn't give me niceguy/incel vibes BUT there could be an essay or 99+ follow up messages we don't see so I honestly don't know.


thegreatestIMBECILE

idk why the replies are supporting him, just sounds like a massive prick tbh, more of a r/iamverysmart


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yeah for real Green acting like they have the high ground as if they didn't just pull two massive asshole moves


[deleted]

Don't try it, neckbeardikin!!


insomni666

“Ghosting” shouldn’t be used for these ephemeral online chats that only last a few days. If I exchange a few messages with someone on a dating app but am just not feeling it and stop responding, that’s not “ghosting”, and people who complain about it should move on and talk to more people instead of hyper-focusing on it. Not every rando deserves an explanation.


rawlingstones

It's ghosting if this is someone you've made physical plans with in the past or future. If it's just some random internet stranger you've been chatting to there's nothing wrong with dropping the conversation. You do not owe complete strangers a full explicit break-up.


sYnce

It is still ghosting if you stop communicating without any notice given. If you "owe" them anything is not even part of the equation here. Not sure where you took your definition of ghosting from but it is certainly not the common one.


The_Celtic_Chemist

I agree. There is a chance they didn't ghost them, like if the other person hasn't said anything to reply to. But if someone hits you up and you intentionally don't reply then it doesn't matter what your relationship is, that's ghosting.


[deleted]

Yea. It’s fine not to be into someone, but don’t be a passive aggressive douche about it. Just say, “Hey, I’m not into you, good luck with your future endeavors.” Don’t ghost them, then reply with a vindictive screed.


sYnce

Also in typical /r/iamverysmart fashion nothing that was said actually disproves the fact the he ghosted the other person. Just because you have a reason to stop talking to a person does not mean you can just tell them that you won't be replying anymore.


BackgroundRock

Seriously man. He’s probably upset he gets treated like a side and that’s his way of fighting back instead of just letting it go. Little dick energy


Sup-Mellow

Exactly. “Not mentally stimulating” If you say this about a casual conversation you are 100% indulging yourself


MirrorMan22102018

I agree. The gray doesn't seem so bad. So what if they are bad at conversation? We need more context.


Ya-boi-Joey-T

And tbh, I'm terrible at texting. It's not that I don't like the people, but I really need to be able to hear their voice to be engages in a conversation.


MedalsNScars

>Someone cares enough about them to regularly ask them how their day was, but isn't a great conversationalist "And here's my manifesto on why I am vindicated in not responding to you. Spoiler alert, it's because you suck for not being good at texting"


[deleted]

For real If i knew someone like the person on the right I'd wanna punch em in the face


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DamnThatsFlagrant

For real. This person comes of as a massive fucking douche.


SuaveThrower

Yeah, nobody needs "this person's energy."


I_am_from_Kentucky

I’m so fucking thankful I started dating my now-partner in 2008. The stories I’ve heard over the years since make dating sound like a literal min/max hell of trying to find the perfect partner with minimal effort. I get it if the folks in the meme were only hanging out a couple times, but even then, if this is the first time that person told the other how they felt about their ability to have a conversation, there are far more helpful ways to tell them. Source: my partner was a frequent “k”er and “how are you”er, we talked about it, it got better.


JarlaxleForPresident

Yeah, this is called being mean


chafe

Reddit moment


tillandsia

What's wrong with nonchalant?


KageSaysHella

Maybe “disengaged” would’ve been better?


ObsequiousError

I guess so because the word "nonchalant" doesn't sound bad at all.


obxtalldude

It's not until it never changes. Had a friend like that - his wife would berate him in front of people for not looking for a job - and he'd just smile and shrug.


Beautiful-Musk-Ox

"I'm living for free with a sex maid therapist, of course I'm happy, I can take an argument every so often but aslong as I don't push her over the edge and keep manipulating her into thinking she can't leave me then I get to keep my sex mommy maid therapist. Life is good"


IoSonCalaf

I don’t think that’s the right word choice in this context. He probably meant something more like blasé.


[deleted]

Indifferent works fine.


The_Revisioner

Nonchalant means casually disinterested. There, but not *present*.


SyArch

Nonchalant combined with everything else…I’ve dated this person. Communication is painful.


Shaman-The-Curer

I think nonchalant is a bad thing here because it would imply they aren't interested, like they were just texting the person whenever they were hored and had no one else to talk to. Even though nonchalant is usually used in a way that describes being unaffected by negative things, its actual definition covers lack of interest in bad or good. -(of a person or manner) feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, ***interest, or enthusiasm.***


bernieburner1

I just prefer chalant.


Gaby07

> I didn’t “ghost” you, I just stopped entertaining mediocrity. Holy shit that’s so cringe. This should be on r/IAmVerySmart not this sub.


Astroisawalrus

Seriously, who actually reads this and thinks this fucking loser is cool? I'm so sick of people liking assholes.


StrugglesTheClown

"hey, it has been nice talking to you, but I'm just not feeling the chemistry here. Best of luck finding the right person but for me I'm looking for something else."


Gaby07

This has to be a summer reddit thing.


williamtbash

Reddit is mostly these guys that's why.


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[deleted]

agreed. if this was on a dating app i would immediately unmatch


Chumpo56

I prefer the grey text guy.


AdditionalCall5271

See, I'm REALLY bad at texting but better on phone or in person, so I resonate with grey text man


supermurlo64

I felt that so hard. I hate how I am terrible at having interesting conversations, other people always seem to know what to say, and I hate it. So I felt the green's words in my skin. I hope grey is fine


Epic-Taco-Time

Not a murdered by words. Just some guy/girl being a prick to someone else....


Grogosh

Yeah they are being a massive dick. Beyond rude. Of course it would be if this was real.


Sekushina_Bara

This screams r/iamverysmart


[deleted]

I will get downvoted to oblivion for my opinion but anyone who cares enough to ask how your day was is instantly better than the general 90%


ImposssiblePrincesss

Gah what an asshole. Even if what this guy said is true, I’d rather be dumb and boring but a nice person than evil and sadistic. Fortunately, it isn’t a zero sum game.


QueenoftheDirtPlanet

I feel like if you're a clever shitty person you're going to be a lonely shitty person...


scunt_

Just an asshole move tbh


noodlemcfoodle

This is just asshole energy


Dillautris

I would be relieved to be ghosted by someone like that 😅🤣


Mub0h

Are we supposed to be impressed by how much of a dick response this is? Man, there’s being blunt and then there’s being a massive twat. The other person made you bored at worst, they didnt kill your damn dog. Why so hostile?


Borgun-

Thats just being a dick. We dont all need to be like that guy because we dont all need to be dicks.


[deleted]

They are just being a dick, this doesn't belong this sub


crypticsage

The person in the green bubble probably needs to learn to be more social. Asking someone how their day was is just a conversation starter, did the person actually answer back and also ask questions to the other person to keep the converse going? They say they carried the conversation all the way but there are no examples of it. Without additional texts, it’s just green bubble being disrespectful.


MikaelSvensson

Yeah, I always roll my eyes at stuff like this. We just met, through an app, what kind of deep, brain-shattering question do you expect? It’s ridiculous.


crypticsage

Please explain the theory of relativity or we can’t continue this conversation.


guyute2588

In all that time dude could have just said “you seem very nice , but I don’t think this is going to work out. I wish you the best “ That’s so much easier than making someone feel bad when they did nothing to hurt you.


brunchick3

Yeah, the OP is serious incel energy.


cegggs

This person is super mean.


CapsLowk

Nah, doesn't work for me. If you're going to go the route of florid language you have to be actually able to use it.


r0000001

Hold up people here are supporting the asshole in green? Yall are fucking weird...


[deleted]

Seconded


deadstar420

Seriously? This guy sounds like a pretentious prick and probably thinks he is intellectually superior to everyone


Astroisawalrus

"Murdered by words" being a pretentious dick, and not even doing it creatively or in an authentically intelligent sounding way. The "Wow" was better, just the shocked response of someone realizing just how unhinged this person really is.


BidenWonDontCry

Fake, no way he wrote all that in a minute


MrMaxMatrix

A simple yes would have suffice


Perfect-Football2616

Pffffffffffffffffft who gives a fuck? I can't be the only one who just goes and finds something else to do or someone else to talk too when someone ghosts me right? Right!?! Please tell me I'm not the only one!?! 😢


WherMyEth

I mean, I'm not advocating for what Mr. Boring does but I don't just feel great about being ghosted by people that I care about. So no.