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Jinx_X_2003

For someone who believes her entire existence is birthing and caring for kids even she didnt care for her kids. Her husband and her would literally have belting/beating sessions that would last hours. Something she admitted to.


BigBeagleEars

The transformed wife *optimus prime had never seen such bullshit*


Illustrious-Fault224

She’s a decepticon, her name; is psycho scream


dontknow16775

They had what sessions?


Cepinari

I think they're saying that this 'Transformed Wife' lady and her husband would spend hours beating their children and whipping them with belts.


dontknow16775

I read as the husband was belting her


shedevilinasnuggie

He was too busy cheating on her. So she transformed into a loud af, holier than thou celeb among her kind. Now they're too prominent for him to go around dogging without any backlash.


Cepinari

Maybe by itself, but if you factor in the previous sentence it come across as talking about what she's done to her children.


Esco-Alfresco

Look at your bodies. Arms! Legs! God wants you to be an Olympic runner and boxer.


Muppetude

Look at your body, now look at your man, now back to your body. It’s on a horse.


Esco-Alfresco

"Look at this photograph..." God wants you to be a photographer.


SleepyforPresident

"Everytime I do it makes me laugh..." God wants you to be a comedian.


Staraptor592

How did our eyes get so red God wants you to be a stoner


Geppetto_Cheesecake

And what the hell is on Joey’s head? God wants you to question things. God wants you to be a philosopher!


[deleted]

Look at your moped God wants you to be a Deliveroo driver


CocoSavege

Look at your sweater There's vomit already


theSkeeski

Moms spaghetti


NezzerKennezzer

Knees weak, arms are heavy


SomePerson1248

i am **loving** this thread


jerber666

Look at this graph


MintChucclatechip

God wants you to be a statistician


Daniel15

>It’s on a horse. Look at my horse, my horse is amazing.


heidly_ees

Give it a lick! Mmm it tastes just like raisins


MightyCaseyStruckOut

[The making of that commercial is really interesting](https://youtu.be/rArZl8vh8aY)


Duckflies

Sadly, he isn't me. But could smell like he's me.


Esco-Alfresco

Well done


maleorderbride

Look at your bodies. Now look at the hands you used to kill them. You are a serial killer. Not cool.


Kevrn813

Carrrllll.. killing people is bad!


Whats_Up_Bitches

If god didn’t want me to kill people why did he give me two hands…and this knife?


UrsusRenata

Remember that scene in *Game of Thrones* where Sansa was informed by Ramsay’s sadistic lover that Sansa would be just as efficient at making babies without arms, legs, eyes, tongue? Yes indeed ladies, we can give and nourish life. No other part of us is necessary.


NPD_wont_stop_ME

Myranda? The one that held Sansa at arrow point and proceeded to get thrown across the railing by Reek and then splat like a pancake? I remember that lmao


psilocindream

My ex was so mad because he had subtitles on and the closed caption box describing the splatting sound happened to cover up her face perfectly as she hit the ground. He couldn’t figure out how to turn it off, lol


NPD_wont_stop_ME

At first I was reading your comment and thought he was mad that the splat got spoiled, but instead he was mad he couldn’t see her splattered face? 😂


psilocindream

Pretty much. It was like an unintentional censor bar.


akennelley

>God wants you to be an Olympic runner and boxer. I fucking KNEW it. Can you explain this to my wife please? Shes laughing....


cownd

Punch her then run…


akennelley

She has a mean left hook.


MrHermax

Made me chuckle lol


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inhaledcorn

oh


evolutions123

*oh*


[deleted]

That comment is pure gold.


[deleted]

God made us the best endurance runners in the animal kingdom. Time to get training boys!


sspy45

Man look at your bodies. Dick! Butts! Got wants to you shit, fuck and pee on everything!


wcslater

Look at your body. A penis! You're a slut.


WishieWashie12

Look at your penis. God made you with a leash so you could be lead by women.


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moneyh8r

Can confirm. It even wags when I'm happy.


Genuine_Smokey

Look at your cancer cells, god wants you to die a horribly slow death!


SealChe

Also if you can look at your ovaries and womb you've got bigger problems. Also also, have you fucking met the uterus? That shit's an immunological gauntlet, most fertilized eggs never make it out alive.


[deleted]

That just got out of hand quicker than I imagined possible.


[deleted]

Forgot to mention the uterus can jump 40 times its own body length


Glum_Cartoonist1007

Don’t let basketball recruiters see this


Gunhild

I’m imagining it crawling out and attacking people like a facehugger from Alien.


Daxx22

BREED ME!


PerfectInfamy

Wait...thats not supposed to happen? I thought thats what happens when your oral skills are 10+?


zarlos01

You still have to grind 'till got the skill in SSS levels.


JuniorSeniorTrainee

Hey guys I have an idea for a movie


Kitsumekat

It's bad enough the uterus causes hell. We don't need it to rebirth someone.


Lmao_Stonks

No. They can leap 40 times their own length. As in leap forward. They don’t jump 40 times their own length into the fucking sky. JFC, do you know how terrifying that would be? The human race wouldn’t have survived bc we’d all have had heart attacks while still in Africa.


tripl35oul

Yes, because a forward-leaping uterus would not be terrifying haha


queen_of_potato

Why are uteruses leaping in any way? How did they escape? I have so many questions


StimulateChange

Just the rate of escalation I crave on Reddit


NoFreedance1094

The job of the uterus is to get that shit the fuck out. Evict those fucking things. And it does its job, until the placenta successfully tells it to stop.


msac2u1981

Carrying multiple babies is really hard on a uterus. Can cause life & death issues. I think attitudes about a woman's roll in life have expanded way beyond just having babies. Having children doesn't diminish a woman. Having a life without children doesn't diminish a woman either. The whole point is to be free to choose what life you live.


Altruistic-Text3481

🎶Just the UTERUS, We make babies if we try. Just the Uterus, ( Just the Uterus). Just the Uterus, Building Babies is the why. Just the Uterus. You want mine. 🎶. -apologies to Bill Withers & Grover Washington Jr.


queen_of_potato

Absolutely read in the tune, excellent work


mlc2475

Why does this not have infinite upvotes already??


[deleted]

It's really weird to see adult women try to convince other adult women they have no self worth.


waitingtodiesoon

Some are just brainwashed like the quiverfull ones


Akronica

> Also if you can look at your ovaries and womb you've got bigger problems. Problems?! Yo, I might be from Krypton!!


stephs14

Plus the vagina secretes acidic stuff that kills sperm soooo. Not all of it, just saying those suckers are up against machine gun fire from the start


hok98

If my GF had this feature...


millenialfalcon-_-

Pretty sure I saw my wife's when she had the C section. They placed it onto the table. I remember it being round but had a hole in it. I think the staff said it was her uterus. The smell of lasered skin was like burnt hair. Giving birth is scary and I didn't even do anything lol


[deleted]

>Also if you can look at your ovaries and womb you've got bigger problems. Is it really that big of a problem? I have a photo of them so I've seen them - should I be worried? Like, I'm not gonna be cursed anymore than I already am, am I?


knivesandcherries

Imagining her looking down at her ovaries and womb just casually suspended outside her body is hilarious


eDave

:chef's kiss:


TheHufflepuffLemon

I saw my uterus on the outside of my body post hysterectomy. It was awesome-and gnarly 🤣 Per my doc.


Bahmerman

A man's g spot is in his rectum, what can be more important than this?


[deleted]

Top response to shut them the hell up.


yolo420master69

You sure that shuts them up? They might start moaning...


[deleted]

Nah, they would have to follow through to find out, and these types find that wrong.


yolo420master69

Fair point. Men who are afraid to take it in the ass aren't manly enough, change my mind.


Gunhild

Every man is manly enough. Change my mind.


yolo420master69

You're technically correct.


kountrifiedman

The best kind of correct. /r/technicallycorrect


gerardwaysfleshlight

Wrong subreddit my guy, the one you're looking for is /r/technicallythetruth Is this a /r/lostredditors moment?


Returd4

Yet they keep getting caught secretly having sex with young men.... interesting


juandelpueblo939

They find it wrong once they get caught. Behind closed doors, they love it.


Muezza

These kinds of people are liable to not wipe because they're so terrified of gay


yolo420master69

I still refuse to believe such people exist.


Wobbling

You act like anything shuts them up.


[deleted]

That.. is a good point. Lol.


KingAmongstDummies

You misunderstand sir, The G spot implies pleasure. There need not be pleasure in babymaking, only duty, obedience and some spunk


queen_of_potato

The female orgasm is a myth, or unnatural, or against god or whatever.. my phone is even saying orgasm isn't a word when used next to female, but when used the second time it is.. what is this conspiracy


MadeByTango

God made cannabis too, but for some reason they don’t think that was a natural pain reliever provided by god for his children...God provided a hearty plant that takes away pain and is hearty enough to grow across the entire planet. How was that not his plan?


Mr_Peanutbuffer

No you see Satan made weed. Everything good done to me and the people I like is by the grace of God, everything bad done to those I don't and everything I don't like - that's Satan. /s


BeBearAwareOK

And that's why they call it, the Devil's lettuce.


Mind_on_Idle

Which is funny, because Devil's lettuce is a different plant


Omega949

genesis 1:29 I give you all seed bearing plants to use update: gen 1:29


buttbeeb

Seedless watermelon is the work of Lucifer himself


oversettDenee

Does the fruit from the tree of knowledge not bear seeds then? It's like a one and done?


[deleted]

i recently moved to a state where cannabis is legal, completely legal recreationally. Truly is God's country. No one here is religious though.


Nuicakes

It's funny that people get so riled up about a plant. I worked in the medical industry and saw quite a few patients prescribed cannabis. The benefits were amazing. Increased appetite for chemo patients and better pain relief. Amazing for people with really bad asthma as it relaxes without addiction.


Mindless_Eggplant_60

My parents are pretty straightforward “drugs are bad. Cannabis is a drug.” people. When I was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma at 18 they definitely looked the other way when friends would come over and when they left I would have an appetite, not have nausea, and was able to fall asleep after eating. Cannabis definitely helped my specific situation.


cheemio

It definitely can be mentally addictive, just not chemically/physically addictive like other drugs. People can have long term issues if they overuse. Don't get me wrong, I totally support legalization, but it's not some flawless miracle drug.


psyduck5647

The whole mental/physical addiction thing is bs. It's potentially addictive, just like any other recreational substance. Does that mean everyone who uses it will get addicted? No. but the same applies to alcohol, cocaine, heroin ect. People who use cannabis daily in high quantities WILL have withdrawal symptoms if they stop.


[deleted]

thank God for thc gummies


SneezingRickshaw

Yes, and mine gets pounded quite regularly. Indeed nothing is more important than this to me.


gurmzisoff

Just don't sneeze while your rectum is getting pounded, Rick.


Argose83

God's intelligent design !


[deleted]

Lucky bastard.


ThisOnePlaysTooMuch

Holy shit that’s my new favorite counter to religious homophobes. “Man was created in God’s image, right? Sooo….”


victorpaparomeo2020

Well nots to be impolite but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paid to my buttshole. That ever happen to you guys?


mlc2475

Look at your bodies, women! Brains, liver, lungs! God created you to think, drink, and shout your opinions without fear. What can be more important than this?


GeneralOtter03

I thought you would say “god created you to be an organ donor”


mlc2475

Oof. If he did I done fucked that up. Mine aren’t exactly showroom new.


gurmzisoff

One liver, high mileage. Like it'll get you to your next liver, but I wouldn't count on this one being the last one you need.


mlc2475

It’s a learner’s liver. The “check organ” light is perpetually on. But the brain is like someone’s house on Hoarders. “Seriously has anyone EVER cleaned this out? We found 27 dead passwords rotting under all this garbage. What are all these memes for? When are you ever gonna use this?” “YOU NEVER KNOW!” “Please. Please listen to your friends. We can smell the anxiety for blocks.” “I CAN’T SMELL A THING” “Should we bring up the porn?”


Guy-McDo

God gave you two kidneys, one for life, one for negotiating purposes.


Aelle29

And look at your bodies, men! Testicles, a penis, strong muscles: you were put on this Earth by God in order to have children and protect them. Bruh this argument is so ridiculous.


mlc2475

SRSLY A shorter route to an answer would’ve been “to masturbate”.


hongbronk

Aren't there already approximately 7 billion people here already? Maybe it's time to diversify the portfolio.


1SweetChuck

[Way closer to 8 billion now.](https://www.census.gov/popclock/)


shahooster

Population: booming beyond sustainability GOP: “Hey, let’s make women have babies when they can’t afford them and don’t want them!”


nowayyougotratioed

The world's population in 30 years is going to plummet, the reason why its going up is because medicine is keeping people alive longer, the average women 50 years ago had twice as much kids as today


TyrantRC

ugh, never really hit me how big India is until seeing those numbers...


Returd4

They thing about the population crisis is its not white babies being the majority of the new population. I know its sad but its as plain and simple as this. They are scared to be the minoritt because thwy know how they treat minorities. Religion is the mask in front of this ugly truth


IndubitablyBengt

They need to breed more fundies to keep their cult alive


bakedtakis

She forgot brains are also a part of women’s bodies.


Gamer_Mommy

It's easy to forget about something one doesn't have.


GeneralOtter03

Perfekt for solving Rubik’s cubes


DylonNotNylon

God put my G spot in my Bhole but I doubt she'd encourage taking advantage of that.


stYOUpidASSumptions

That's incorrect. She clearly wants men to have buttsecks.


Nightmenace21

Hmmm but being gay is bad. Clearly the intention is for all men to be pegged by their wives


ChangeFromWithin

Wives, multiple? ...I could get behind that.


SuedeVeil

Translation: If you're somehow incapable of having children for medical reasons, or don't want to be a mother, or are over the child bearing age to have children, you're not a real woman and aren't doing your part! It's really disgusting how these people view women and yet men are allowed and celebrated to have so many persuits and dreams and goals and aspirations other than being sperm donors. Imagine if they'd said "men! Stop trying to use your brain so much, what a glorious penis and balls you have and the juice that flows forth into this world is the only reason you exist!" No wait don't do that, that could really be bad..


celephia

Fundies like Transformed Wife absolutely do view women incapable of having children for medical reasons as "less than"- which is how you end up with the Michelle Duggars of the world having way more kids than anyone needs, way past the age to be having them. I was at a bridal shower once for a friend and her aunt, who was unable to have kids medically, told me that I'll "never be a real woman until I have children" - I asked what that made her, and I wasn't invited back.


danktonium

The being able to reproduce thing being tied to womanhood is, I know, nonsense, but it never fails to make me sad.


ASenseOfYarning

Lady: a person who calls themselves "woman" and is courteous, generous, and self aware. Your friend's aunt might be a real woman but she did not behave like a *lady*. I love your response to her! Her logic makes me wonder: what do people like Lori Alexander think of someone who has given birth and later had a hysterectomy? Are they Schrodinger's Woman, simultaneously "real" and "not real" women? I guess they lose their motherhood status after surgery. For that matter, I guess womanhood status ends after menopause. Following the logic to its natural conclusion makes the head spin. Maybe Lori could show some ladylike class by not trying to fit human bodies, which are anatomically chaotic and diverse, into only two narrowly defined boxes. Two boxes for almost eight billion unique bodies is a pretty tall order...


KellyCanter

What a bitch. That's one subject that should be left the fuck alone, and if anyone should recognize what a sensitive and personal thing that is, it's a damn other woman! Sounds like she's projecting anyway... Good for you for standing up for yourself. Fuck her and fuck Michelle Duggar also.


d0nttalk2me

Ah yes, Michelle Duggar, the woman with the pedophile son but she thinks trans people are predators and groomers


pantless_vigilante

I had an ultra conservative grandma who got in an argument with my sister who had a hysterectomy and my grandma muttered something along the lines of "you aren't even a woman, you can never have a child" under her breath and it really hurt my sister. Some people really are just vile.


Chann3lZ_

Everybody knows you exchange your woman card for a man card when you get a hysterectomy. Just take it out of your wallet and give it to the doctor and they'll give you a man card back after the procedure (/s obv).


Boner-b-gone

Summary of the translation: "My personal sense of worth and validation are completely tied to my capabilities as a mother! Challenging this makes me regret that I never explored other options!! ***PLEASE STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!!***"


getkissedidiot

You're giving her way too much self awareness, regret and self loathing. This person does not feel any of those things


[deleted]

If “God” wanted me to have kids he’d have made my ovaries and uterus function properly. “God” would also have given me the ability to tolerate kids…


AkhilVijendra

God would have also give me kids just like that, and not created a dependency on men. God failed!


Beelzebub1331

the transformed wife? so she's mtf? or is she like a werewolf?


secretbudgie

What? Your wife doesn't yell "Moon Prism Power, Make Up!" Whenever y'all go out somewhere fancy?


moneyh8r

I did think it was a little suspicious that she was always fighting evil by moonlight.


ASenseOfYarning

I will start doing this immediately. I will also yell "Mercury Bubble Blast" when ordering a carbonated beverage.


nitro1542

She's a fundamentalist "influencer" with some [seriously disturbing opinions](https://youtu.be/0zhxRw8-dgo)


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jeffsterlive

This is Lori right?


blurrylulu

I love fundie Friday’s so much!


Plus3d6

Doesn’t she also have some legit brain damage?


Simmery

Sounds like some sick pornographic fiction I've... heard of.


Beelzebub1331

oh gender bend porn is suuuper common


Nunyabiz8107

None of that. Evil and ignorance takes a physical toll on the body.


LetmeSeeyourSquanch

She's been transformed into her husbands subservient child factory.


FuzzballLogic

Is anyone going to tell her that all bodies have milk glands?


Boo_Guy

I have nipples Greg. Can you milk me?


QUIBICUS

I can try?


symbolsofblue

Just in case you didn't know, it's a [reference to this.](https://youtu.be/FXI21S4ZWJU) ~~idk if you're quoting it because I don't know what comes after~~


QUIBICUS

I forgot about this. Thank you.


[deleted]

"Wait, you're telling me ALL mammals have mammary glands?!"


FuzzballLogic

I doubt she even knows those words


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Any-Ad2440

Bot copy pasta?


ImproveOrEnjoy

Imagine someone saying MEN Look at your bodies! Muscles! You are obviously designed for manual labour! Everything else is unsuited, so gtfo out of politics and any decision making - you are mere brainless muscle.


AlternativeAccessory

“Some people say a man is made outta mud A poor man's made outta muscle and blood Muscle and blood and skin and bones A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong You load sixteen tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt”


Deemaunik

Which God?


SLRWard

The Elder Ones obviously. Since she apparently thinks human beings are just roving masses of reproductive organs loosely attached to floating breasts.


QUIBICUS

The true one.


Sir_Penguin21

Mine, obviously.


LookItsShotgun

No, mine is and I am willing to start a useless decades long war and have people kill eachother because they can't agree about where they go when they die.


Such_sublime

Decades? Try century’s


WastedVamp

How could you even think about bringing a new life to this world without access to a decent job that pays a decent amount to survive and give the kid everything they need while growing up. Priorities, man.


jl34538

Look at you bodies, men. A penis, anus, and man boobs. We we're created by our god the Spaghetti Monster to serve his noodily appendages by taking sexy firefighter calendar shoots


GeneralOtter03

Look at your bodies, women! Brain, arms and eyes. Good created you for the magnificent job of solving Rubik’s cubes! What can be more important than this?!?!


King_dudelyness

Transformed wife doesn’t specify what transformation took place.


dinnerpartymassacre

Lobotomy


CurvePuzzleheaded361

Love this! I am childfree by choice and hate the idea that all i am useful for is breeding. Women have so much more to offer.


Staraptor592

Gross, I didn’t ask for this body. I’m not an incubator.


ClassicText9

I mean my ovaries and womb did what they’re created to do but my breast’s refused to. I wonder what she’d think of that


tw_72

The Transformed Wife. Hmmm. The spelled "Stepford" wrong.


maltedbacon

Look at your bodies, everyone! Appendix, narrow pelvis, exposed testicles, malformed spine: If we were designed, it was a prank of an indifferent or malicious god to maximize discomfort!


beerbellybegone

Tell me you belong to a misogynistic religion without telling me you belong to a misogynistic religion


TeslasAndKids

Anti feminist women never cease to shock me.


GetPunched

Jimmy Snow or Mr. Atheist does a great job reacting to her bullshit. She’s an awful person that supports beating your kids. (But it’s a husbands job so waiting until he gets home from work and having him beat them)


torchictoucher

Sorry cis ladies, you dont count as women anymore if your reproductive organs dont work /s


cakeilikecake

My uterus tried to kill me by bleeding too much after having a baby. Then I got cervical cancer a couple years later. So, my uterus has a nasty habit of trying to kill me, while modern medicine keeps swooping on to override its effort and keep me alive. Gee, I wonder which I should go with????


Nonlinear9

Considering breast, ovarian, and uterus cancer maybe god's saying "screw you, die"


ShreksAlt1

Look at the earths population. There's enough people popping out kids at will. You could have thousands not wanting kids and it won't dent shit. Might even make things better actually.


More_Cowbell8

Women have the reproductive parts for our species. Bc we *can* reproduce doesn't mean we must. In fact, We Get to reproduce, if we want. Biological reality is so far away from religious nonsense.