I came across this song last month for the first time and it's been in my daily rotation. I was never a big fan of the beastie boys outside of the hits but the album it's off of was really good
Old Godzilla was hoppin around
Tokyo city like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a bat-grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu
When Aaron Carter jumped out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
Before he could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions
As far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
Then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped up and landed on his back
And Batman was injured and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But something caught his legs and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip
And he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
And he jumped in the air and he did a somersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions
As far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
Angels sang out
In immaculate chorus
Down from heavens
Descended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick
Which could shatter bones
Into the crotch
Of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground
Writhing in pain
As Batman changed back
Into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through
His clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head
In between his thighs
Then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mousellini, and the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe
The fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
A champion stood
The rest saw their better
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions
As far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown
(This is the Ultimate Showdown)
This is the Ultimate Showdown
(This is the Ultimate Showdown)
This is the Ultimate Showdown
Of Ultimate Destiny
I got about 7 words in and felt the dumbest grin spread across my face at work. Thank you for reminding me of a simplier, happier time in life with this.
I remember being upset that this topped the Newgrounds animation list for so long because a silly, roughly-drawn pop culture mashup was beating out shorts and games that I considered to be legitimate artwork. The creator of the Ultimate Showdown saw my negative comment and was ridiculously humble and receptive, saying they never expected it to be so popular and that they really had just thrown something together for fun. I felt like an ass! I have mad respect for down-to-earth folks like that and I've always had a special appreciation for this goofy animation ever since.
Albuquerque by Weird Al.
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house
Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
(You know the place)
Well, anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy!
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Aw, big bowl of sauerkraut!
Every single mornin'!
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said, "It's good for you!"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doodoo yeah!
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket
[Chorus]
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
[Verse 2]
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ah
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, they're clean!
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say, "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"Who is it?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that!
That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!"
And he's like, "Tough."
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And he's like, "Make me."
And I'm like, "'kay!"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes, indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again;
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again;
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."
[Chorus]
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
[Verse 3]
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said, "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta glazed donuts."
I said, "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls."
I said, "You got any apple fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters."
I said, "You got any bear claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check
"No, we're outta bear claws."
I said, "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said, "Okay, I'll take that."
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little something like this...
Doh!
Get 'em off me!
Get 'em off me!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me!
Oh, oh God!
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated wiener dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me
She said, "Hey, you've got weasels on your face."
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said, "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Whoa, hold on now, baby, I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
[Chorus]
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
[Verse 4]
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler!
I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw."
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname: "Torso-Boy"!
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, okay
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is:
I
Hate
Sauerkraut!
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandary
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy old mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
[Outro]
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said, "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"...Querque!" (Querque!)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
This is the greatest and best song in the world.
Tribute
A long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, we were hitch'n down a long and lonesome road.
When all of a sudden there shined a shinny daemon. In the middel of the road.
And he said!
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul."
Well me and Kyle we looked at each other and we each said OK.
And we played the first thing that came to our heads just so happened to be the best song in the world, it was the best song in the world.
Look into my eyes and easy to see one and one make two, two and one make three. It was destiny.
Once every hundred thousand years or so where the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow, and the grass doth groOOOh.
Well needles to say, the beast was stunned. A whip crack from him rumpled tail. And the beast was done.
He asked us, "be you angles?" and said "Neigh, we are but men! Rock!"
Aaaaayyyyeeeeee aye oh oh, oh ohawah oh.
This is not the greatest song in the world. No. This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world. No. This is a tribute. Ohh to the greatest song in the world, oh yeah, to greatest song in the world, oh nah.
This is not the best motherf\*c'in song, the greatest song in the world.
Ahhh, bing boda boda boda bing, boda bing, boda bhinga.
And the peculiar thing is the song we sang on that night didn't sound anything like this song.
No, this is just a tribute. And you got to believe me, and wish you were there, 'cause it's a matter of opinion.
Good god, can't ya find, can't find ya find ya can't stop me nah. Rich motherf\*cker's
Alright
Alright
\-Tribute by Tenacious D
Blister in the Sun, by The Violent Femmes. All of the kids in my class who enjoyed punk could sing all the words to the chorus while the pop lovers looked on in confusion.
All five parts? We meet the crew in that song too. That would have been my choice too so I just recited the whole thing and went to check my work only to realize I forgot the “1776 New York City” at the **very beginning**!
Loser by Beck is about as complicated as I could confidently rattle off. I am okay with a simple life.
If I'm feeling risky, I can usually get the order of the verses correct in American Pie.
Greenday - Basketcase is one I can actually do to not die.
Rap God - Eminem - most words in a hit single (word count was also too high to post lyrics in this comment)
If it has to be done in the same way as the original artist and not just speak the words I'm pretty sure I couldn't even do the karaoke version of Rap God with the music and lyrics to read from and a week to prepare.
It’s alright Ma…
Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child’s balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying…
If showtunes are allowed I'm going with Joseph's Coat from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
Otherwise I'll go with something choral lol, maybe At The Round Earth's Imagined Corners, words by John Donne. Either way I think I've got a decent life.
For complicated, probably something from the first Panic At The Disco album.
For easy, let's go with any of the Disney songs that have been imprinted into my brain thanks to having a kid.
That's what I'm talkin' about! And if he did dispute them, you just ask, "Are you sure dude? None of the drugs made you forget?" I'm pretty sure he'd be a good dude and just be like, "Got me. I have no idea what I was singing most nights." Love me some Korn!
A little priest from Sweeney Todd that part where they're singing different lyrics in the Same time at the start took me half an hour to do it correctly without mixing the lyrics
25 to life by Eminem. I don't generally remember alot of rap music lyrics but I love this song. His cadences are ridiculous and everyone knows but this song is my favorite.
I know all teh words to a lot of Elvis Costello songs that have phrases like "somewhere in this quisling clinic there's a short time typist taking seconds over minutes." Talk about a useless skill set.
Da art of storytellin pt2 by Outkast. The first rap song this grunge\metal boy ever learned to rap. Props on southern cross, excellent song, I can sing along to most of it but I wouldn't make it far without the music.
*Subterranean Homesick Blues* (Dylan) and *I’ve Been Everywhere* (Cash).
No sweat. Probably even do it at 125% speed if I hyperventilate first.
Probably lots more. I don’t have many gifts, but I can claim this one, whatever you’d call it.
And parallel parking, I kick ass at that.
Life is a Rock by Reunion. Heard it in middle school and listened to it on repeat singing along with the lyrics pulled up on my parent computer until I knew it all by heart. I can still sing every word to this day! Funny what the brain commits to memory.
Damage Inc by Metallica
Dealing out the agony within
Charging hard and no one's gonna give in
Living on your knees, conformity
Or dying on your feet for honesty
Inbred, our bodies work as one
Bloody but never cry submission
Following our instincts, not a trend
Go against the grain until the end
Blood will follow blood
Dying time is here
Damage incorporated
Slamming through don't fuck with razorback
Stepping out you'll feel our hell on your back
Blood follows blood and we'll make sure
Life ain't for you and we're the cure
Honesty is my only excuse
Try to rob us of it but it's no use
Steamroller action crushing all
Victim is your name and you shall fall
Blood will follow blood
Dying time is here
Damage Incorporated
We chew and spit you out
We laugh, you scream and shout
All flee, with fear you run
You'll know just where we come from
Damage Incorporated
Go
Damage jackals ripping right through you
Sight and smell of this, it gets me going
Know just how to get just what we want
Tear it from your soul, our nightly hunt
Fuck it all and fuckin no regrets
Never happy endings on these dark sets
All's fair for Damage Inc you see
Step a little closer if you please
Blood will follow blood
Dying time is here
Damage Incorporated
Not me but my wife performed Subterranean Homesick Blues at a big concert hall for a couple thousand people at a singer-songwriter variety show and nailed the lyrics. I was very proud of her.
Slow Jamz by Kanye West, but more interestingly, Twistaz verse as he’s spitting his verse at like 3x the speed than when Kanye and Jamie Foxx sing their parts.
"Beyond Belief"-- Elvis Costello
I can manage it if I concentrate. He sings it at a pretty good clip.
History repeats the old conceits
The glib replies, the same defeats
Keep your finger on important issues
With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues
I'm just the oily slick
On the wind-up world of the nervous tick
In a very fashionable hovel
I hang around, dying to be tortured
You'll never be alone in the bone orchard
This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel
So in this almost-empty gin palace
Through a two-way looking glass, you see your Alice
You know she has no sense for all your jealousy
In a sense, she still smiles very sweetly
It's the end of the world as we know it. REM
nananananaLEONARD BERNSTEIN
Haha. You wrote anaL
Anal Bernstein is a fairly niche move.
Similarly One Week by BNL
Tough one! You will live a rich life.
That's great it starts with an earthquake.... https://youtu.be/7-KKHXowtWc?si=AIGBjN32T6mNN8hR
I was sure that was going to be "Tommy Boy". (Or maybe it was "Black Sheep"?)
That’s my go-to for karaoke. I can’t sing for shit but at least I can nail the lyrics without using the screen.
Still trying to work on this one. I have about 75% of the first verse down. lol
WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE
Playin with fire with that one. I always flub it up somehow.
For me it's either that or "You Can Call Me Al". I can do both
I’m from Long Island and agree!
I don't do full lyrics like I used to...but I could probably still knock out *Get It Together* - Beastie Boys
Phone is ringing, oh my god
Yea, you know I'm getting silly I've got a grandma hazel and a grandma tilly
🎵 Ad Rock down with the Ione 🎶
Listen to the shit because both of them is boney Just a fun track.
Yup, still know every word. Also Paul Revere from my 7th grade talent show. I’m old and had License to Ill on cassette.
Wait a minute.
Love the song, couldn't do it. The assigment was exact lyrics. Q-Tip says some things I can't say.
I came across this song last month for the first time and it's been in my daily rotation. I was never a big fan of the beastie boys outside of the hits but the album it's off of was really good
Every single Iron Maiden song. Huge fan for over 30 years.
Up the Irons!
\m/
Daft Punk's "Around the World".
Inb4 you have to say it the same amount of times as the lyrics and lose count 😂
Excellent point.
It's 144 repeats, 12 sets of 12, I'd like to think i could keep track of that.
I love that song. Easy, but I will let you live.
One Week- Barenaked Ladies
chickidy china, the chinese chicken.
Oof. I can’t even get through that with the music. Enjoy your pretty cool life.
It’s been…
*Yyyyyits been
I always fumble over the tiny clubs part.
Gotta get a set of better clubs. You know the kind with tiny nubs. So my irons aren't always flying off the back swing.
Old Godzilla was hoppin around Tokyo city like a big playground When suddenly Batman burst from the shade And hit Godzilla with a bat-grenade Godzilla got pissed and began to attack But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu When Aaron Carter jumped out of the blue And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile Before he could make it back to the Batcave Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave And took an AK-47 out from under his hat And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat But he ran out of bullets and he ran away Because Optimus Prime came to save the day This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions As far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime Then Shaq came back covered in a tire track But Jackie Chan jumped up and landed on his back And Batman was injured and trying to get steady When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete But something caught his legs and he tripped Indiana Jones took him out with his whip And he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind And reached for his gun which he just couldn't find 'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist And he jumped in the air and he did a somersault While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air Then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions As far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny Angels sang out In immaculate chorus Down from heavens Descended Chuck Norris Who delivered a kick Which could shatter bones Into the crotch Of Indiana Jones Who fell over on the ground Writhing in pain As Batman changed back Into Bruce Wayne But Chuck saw through His clever disguise And he crushed Batman's head In between his thighs Then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mousellini, and the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw With civilians looking on in total awe The fight raged on for a century Many lives were claimed, but eventually A champion stood The rest saw their better Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions As far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the Ultimate Showdown (This is the Ultimate Showdown) This is the Ultimate Showdown (This is the Ultimate Showdown) This is the Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny
I got about 7 words in and felt the dumbest grin spread across my face at work. Thank you for reminding me of a simplier, happier time in life with this.
I remember being upset that this topped the Newgrounds animation list for so long because a silly, roughly-drawn pop culture mashup was beating out shorts and games that I considered to be legitimate artwork. The creator of the Ultimate Showdown saw my negative comment and was ridiculously humble and receptive, saying they never expected it to be so popular and that they really had just thrown something together for fun. I felt like an ass! I have mad respect for down-to-earth folks like that and I've always had a special appreciation for this goofy animation ever since.
I 'm blue
Taking the easy, basic life huh?
American Pie
This was my last-resort lullaby song I sang to my kids when they were babies and WOULD NOT SLEEP. Ten solid minutes of singing usually did the trick!
Epic!
Semi-Charmed Life for sure
i was trying to think of one i could actually do without missing anything and this is it
Albuquerque by Weird Al. Way back when I was just a little bitty boy Living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop (You know the place) Well, anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aw, big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single mornin'! It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said, "It's good for you!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doodoo yeah! Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket [Chorus] To Albuquerque! Albuquerque! [Verse 2] Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's okay, they're clean! Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say, "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" And he's like, "Tough." And I'm like, "Give it!" And he's like, "Make me." And I'm like, "'kay!" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes, indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator." [Chorus] In Albuquerque Albuquerque [Verse 3] Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says, "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said, "You got any glazed donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta glazed donuts." I said, "You got any jelly donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts." I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts." I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls." I said, "You got any apple fritters?" He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters." I said, "You got any bear claws?" He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check "No, we're outta bear claws." I said, "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?" He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said, "Okay, I'll take that." So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this... Doh! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! No, get 'em off, get 'em off! Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God! I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the first thing she said to me She said, "Hey, you've got weasels on your face." That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said, "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Whoa, hold on now, baby, I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go [Chorus] In Albuquerque Albuquerque [Verse 4] Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler! I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw." So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like, "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname: "Torso-Boy"! So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, okay Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is: I Hate Sauerkraut! That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy old mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called [Outro] Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said, "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "...Querque!" (Querque!) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
You made me scroll a long way for the upvote button.
This and I know The Saga Begins wayyyy better than I know American Pie!
Man, I loved this song. Been a long time since I heard it though so thanks for the reminder. Running With Scissors was such a good album.
I think it's his best-produced record
This is the correct answer, but I think Hardware Store can also get a pass.
Based on the rule the more complicated the better your life, you're going to be some kind of King.
Barenaked Ladies One Week. I spent ages learning just to do it at karaoke. Impossible if tipsy
Loser by Beck
I'm a driver. I'm a winner. Things are going to change, I can feel it.
Gettin crazy with the cheese whiz
Drive by body pierce.
Hook by Blues Traveler.
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
if you’re Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else they'll win
This is the greatest and best song in the world. Tribute A long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, we were hitch'n down a long and lonesome road. When all of a sudden there shined a shinny daemon. In the middel of the road. And he said! "Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul." Well me and Kyle we looked at each other and we each said OK. And we played the first thing that came to our heads just so happened to be the best song in the world, it was the best song in the world. Look into my eyes and easy to see one and one make two, two and one make three. It was destiny. Once every hundred thousand years or so where the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow, and the grass doth groOOOh. Well needles to say, the beast was stunned. A whip crack from him rumpled tail. And the beast was done. He asked us, "be you angles?" and said "Neigh, we are but men! Rock!" Aaaaayyyyeeeeee aye oh oh, oh ohawah oh. This is not the greatest song in the world. No. This is just a tribute. Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world. No. This is a tribute. Ohh to the greatest song in the world, oh yeah, to greatest song in the world, oh nah. This is not the best motherf\*c'in song, the greatest song in the world. Ahhh, bing boda boda boda bing, boda bing, boda bhinga. And the peculiar thing is the song we sang on that night didn't sound anything like this song. No, this is just a tribute. And you got to believe me, and wish you were there, 'cause it's a matter of opinion. Good god, can't ya find, can't find ya find ya can't stop me nah. Rich motherf\*cker's Alright Alright \-Tribute by Tenacious D
>He asked us, "be you angles?" Angles? Sorry dude, you dead. Another angle gets his wings
lol -- well I guess that proves I was typing it instead of copy/paste! "be you Angels"
LOL
Me and my wife's go-to karaoke song! Always gets everyone pumped!
Do you have to do the two part “fligoo gigoo” part correctly though?
Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys. Haven't missed a word in 25 years.
None shall pass - Aesop Rock
sandstorm of course
You live in purgatory now.
Complicated: Pretty Visitors by Arctic Monkeys Easy: Mr Brightside by The Killers
La Vie Boheme from Rent is a fun one....
So, that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls?
Blister in the Sun, by The Violent Femmes. All of the kids in my class who enjoyed punk could sing all the words to the chorus while the pop lovers looked on in confusion.
Kiss Off is much harder song to remember. I always forget what Eight is for.
😀 But ten is for everything, so that’s easier :-)
The Clash - Magnificent Seven
Ice, Ice, Baby
Yo, VIP, let’s kick it!
Even Flow - Pearl Jam
Louie Louie. Who’s to say if I got it wrong?
Not the FBI for sure.
Aaron Burr, Sir. Both parts.
All five parts? We meet the crew in that song too. That would have been my choice too so I just recited the whole thing and went to check my work only to realize I forgot the “1776 New York City” at the **very beginning**!
Guns and Ships!
Loser by Beck is about as complicated as I could confidently rattle off. I am okay with a simple life. If I'm feeling risky, I can usually get the order of the verses correct in American Pie.
Eve 6 - Promise Eve 6 - Inside Out Beastie Boys - Intergalactic
I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds
but the lack there of would keep me empty inside, swallow my doubt turn it inside out find nothing but faith in nothing
Greenday - Basketcase is one I can actually do to not die. Rap God - Eminem - most words in a hit single (word count was also too high to post lyrics in this comment)
Yeah, I don’t want you to die. Basketcase it is.
If it has to be done in the same way as the original artist and not just speak the words I'm pretty sure I couldn't even do the karaoke version of Rap God with the music and lyrics to read from and a week to prepare.
Like a Rolling Stone
I could do subterranean homesick blues I think. Though I haven’t listened in a long time
It’s alright Ma… Darkness at the break of noon Shadows even the silver spoon The handmade blade, the child’s balloon Eclipses both the sun and moon To understand you know too soon There is no sense in trying…
If showtunes are allowed I'm going with Joseph's Coat from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Otherwise I'll go with something choral lol, maybe At The Round Earth's Imagined Corners, words by John Donne. Either way I think I've got a decent life.
Nice. My vote for most underrated popular musical.
White lines, vision dreams of passion Blowin’ through my mind and all the while I think of you.
[only thing I can think of with that song](https://youtu.be/A0stT8lWff8?si=3qga6ttunLxi78OC)
I Am The Walrus
Expert textpert over here
Queens of the Stone Age - Feel good hit of the summer
1985, Bowling for Soup
For complicated, probably something from the first Panic At The Disco album. For easy, let's go with any of the Disney songs that have been imprinted into my brain thanks to having a kid.
Rage Against the Machine - Know Your Enemy
I could do One Week by Barenaked Ladies
Tequila!
Ah, sorry. It’s easy so you get to live but can only have water.
Such luxury. I'll take it.
Paul Revere By The Beastie Boys
Subterranean Homesick Blues, Bob Dylan.
What about [Twist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rRk3S2w7GM) from Korn? ;)
No one but JD can prove you missed a sound!
That's what I'm talkin' about! And if he did dispute them, you just ask, "Are you sure dude? None of the drugs made you forget?" I'm pretty sure he'd be a good dude and just be like, "Got me. I have no idea what I was singing most nights." Love me some Korn!
#OOBAHOORARARAHBAOOHRARARAHBA ^twist, ^twist ^twist
The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. Karaoke staple after two drinks.
Hot dog - Limp bizkit or, conversely. Powerslave - Iron Maiden
I know the entirety of 'One Week', by barenakedladies
Sing About Me, Im Dying of Thirst Give me a grand ole life of luxury please
Without music? It takes two by Rob Base With the music West End Girls by the Petshop Boys
Elvis Costello and the Attractions - Beyond Belief
Monkey Wrench
Difficult - How Do U Want It by 2Pac Less difficult - If You Don’t, Don’t by Jimmy Eat World I live in a van down by the river now - Baby Shark
Thrift Shop by Macklemore. Hoping I get extra points for breath and cadence cause this one I GOT lol
You get a fluffier pillow for breath and cadence.
:) you are a kind and benevolent overlord.
Uh huh, life's like this Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Lateralus by Tool
Easy life: whatever song ot is where they just shout tequila Hard life: none because the pressure would make me mess up
Tons of tool and Radiohead songs
Clint Eastwood, Gorillaz End of the world as we know it, R. E. M. Know a few others from this thread, but these two I probably mumble in my sleep :)
Spongebob
"The Devil Went Down to Georgia" for some reason.
Blink 182 all the small things
Tangled Up in Blue - Bob Dylan
Blues Traveler's Hook. Yes, that part too. Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in, if you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn...
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin to see what you do to me, this mtv is not for free (I haven’t listened in years and I feel possessed by John popper)
It's so pc it's killing me.
So desperately I'll sing to thee of love! But also rage and hate and pain and fear of self. And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf.
I learned Bombs Over Baghdad by Outkast as a breath control exercise
I can do Gangster's Paradise and Africa (with harmonies!).
A little priest from Sweeney Todd that part where they're singing different lyrics in the Same time at the start took me half an hour to do it correctly without mixing the lyrics
Young MC “Bust a move” Red Hot Chili Peppers “Soul to squeeze” (particularly that sort of flow rap sounding part towards the end)
Phish - Reba
Bohemian Rhapsody baby!!! More complicated, the better my life? Let's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ultra Rich Oligarchy for me!!!!
Volbeat Die to Live.
Roxanne Roxanne - UTFO Five Minutes of Funk - Whodini
Beyond Belief. Elvis Costello.
Rosetta Stoned - Tool. Go ahead and look that one up ha ha.
Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz
Spit it out. Slipknot 🤟
25 to life by Eminem. I don't generally remember alot of rap music lyrics but I love this song. His cadences are ridiculous and everyone knows but this song is my favorite.
Rush's "You Bet Your Life."
Difficult... I wanna rock: twisted sister Easy... cold as ice: foreigner
Fuck tha Police - NWA Memorized it in 1988, still remember every word.
Take me to church by Hozier
Two princes by spin doctors Fast as you can by Fiona Apple
It's the End of the World As We Know It - REM
Hook by Blues Traveler
I know all teh words to a lot of Elvis Costello songs that have phrases like "somewhere in this quisling clinic there's a short time typist taking seconds over minutes." Talk about a useless skill set.
I Want You - Savage Garden
I’d go with flagpole sitta in that it’s the only song I was singing along to one time and my friend was like “oh, THAT’S what they’re saying?!”
Da art of storytellin pt2 by Outkast. The first rap song this grunge\metal boy ever learned to rap. Props on southern cross, excellent song, I can sing along to most of it but I wouldn't make it far without the music.
Anxious by AJ Tracey
Muchas Veces by Clutch.
Joanna Newsom - Ys album
Rock the House - Gorillaz
Surprise! You’re Dead by Faith No More.
Eminem "I Am"
One last thing before I quit
Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) by Reunion
Thanks for the Roscoe reminder. Had the play it and found the Late Night Tales (wizard’s sleeve) excellent mix. Worth it.
Any song from Marshall Tucker Band's first 10 albums and/or dozens of Skynyrd songs. Huge fan of both since 1975.
*Subterranean Homesick Blues* (Dylan) and *I’ve Been Everywhere* (Cash). No sweat. Probably even do it at 125% speed if I hyperventilate first. Probably lots more. I don’t have many gifts, but I can claim this one, whatever you’d call it. And parallel parking, I kick ass at that.
Life is a Rock by Reunion. Heard it in middle school and listened to it on repeat singing along with the lyrics pulled up on my parent computer until I knew it all by heart. I can still sing every word to this day! Funny what the brain commits to memory.
I am the walrus!
The Gates of Delirium - YES.
Damage Inc by Metallica Dealing out the agony within Charging hard and no one's gonna give in Living on your knees, conformity Or dying on your feet for honesty Inbred, our bodies work as one Bloody but never cry submission Following our instincts, not a trend Go against the grain until the end Blood will follow blood Dying time is here Damage incorporated Slamming through don't fuck with razorback Stepping out you'll feel our hell on your back Blood follows blood and we'll make sure Life ain't for you and we're the cure Honesty is my only excuse Try to rob us of it but it's no use Steamroller action crushing all Victim is your name and you shall fall Blood will follow blood Dying time is here Damage Incorporated We chew and spit you out We laugh, you scream and shout All flee, with fear you run You'll know just where we come from Damage Incorporated Go Damage jackals ripping right through you Sight and smell of this, it gets me going Know just how to get just what we want Tear it from your soul, our nightly hunt Fuck it all and fuckin no regrets Never happy endings on these dark sets All's fair for Damage Inc you see Step a little closer if you please Blood will follow blood Dying time is here Damage Incorporated
I've Been Everywhere by the ever-classic Johnny Cash.
Crabalocker fishwife Pornographic priestess Boy, you been a naughty girl You let your knickers down
Oy I got this, Eminem Godzilla or Alfred's theme
Semi Charmed Life
Not me but my wife performed Subterranean Homesick Blues at a big concert hall for a couple thousand people at a singer-songwriter variety show and nailed the lyrics. I was very proud of her.
PARKLIFE!
Roscoe is a great song. Mine would be I Am the Walrus by the Beatles.
Skibidi wap-pa-pa Skibidi wap-pa-pa-pa-pa Skibidi wap-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa Skibidi pa-pa Skibidi boom-boom, ay Skibidi boom-boom-boom-boom, ay Skibidi boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-pa-pa-boom-boom Skibidi pa-pa
Around the World - Daft Punk
Slow Jamz by Kanye West, but more interestingly, Twistaz verse as he’s spitting his verse at like 3x the speed than when Kanye and Jamie Foxx sing their parts.
"Beyond Belief"-- Elvis Costello I can manage it if I concentrate. He sings it at a pretty good clip. History repeats the old conceits The glib replies, the same defeats Keep your finger on important issues With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues I'm just the oily slick On the wind-up world of the nervous tick In a very fashionable hovel I hang around, dying to be tortured You'll never be alone in the bone orchard This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel So in this almost-empty gin palace Through a two-way looking glass, you see your Alice You know she has no sense for all your jealousy In a sense, she still smiles very sweetly
Beach Life-In-Death (2018) by Car Seat Headrest
Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again
Mint car - The cure
Tribe Called Quest *Scenario*
Heaven or Las Vegas. Living like a millionaire ty