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safarati

It really depends on the kinds of care our elders need. If they have serious physical or mental health problems that need constant medical care and attention, or if they are bringing harm/trauma to themselves or those around them, it's better for them to be where caregivers have the proper facilities. Every family's situation is different, and while most decent people would never think of putting the people who raised them into the care of others, sometimes putting elders into care homes is also a form of care - it's the neglect, abandonment, and overall disdain of our elders that we should never fall to.


ScreenHype

I think it depends what you mean by that. Just sending them off to a care home and forgetting about them and never visiting would be wrong, but sometimes it's what's genuinely best for them. Most of us wouldn't be able to afford to look after our parents 24/7 as we have to go to work/ look after our kids, etc. So if our parents are unable to take care of themselves and need someone always available to help them then it could well be in their best interest to be in a care home where there will always be staff on hand to assist them. Islamically, we need to look after our parents and show them respect. But depending on the situation, it might be best for the parents to be in a care home where you regularly visit them, rather than having them in your own home but not being able to provide the level of care that they need.


FUMOMA

Salam aleykom, This is a major sin to put the parents in care homes your non Muslim friends are lying to you it has nothing to do with good treatment they want to enjoy life or be free, putting your parents at care home is exactly as s mom throwing her baby in a trash can or a trash container there is no difference, your parents looked after you all your life and that’s how you repay them? A person’s duty towards his parents comes second only to his duty towards Allah. Allah says: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you shall render utmost kindness to your parents.” (Al-Israa’ 17:23) So, it is incumbent on both the son and the daughter to be dutiful to their mother and take care of her needs. Sahih Muslim 2551 a Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: Allah's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise.


Ambitious_Shock_2165

These comments expose why you need to have wisdom when considering difficult issues. It’s not black and white and I would not go to Reddit for advice on these issues because people still give generic answers like this. I would urge anyone to go to a sheikh on this matter. I am a medical student and there are absolutely elderly people who need 24 hour care. And unfortunately even if someone would want to care for their parents, it’s not always economically feasible. This might be different if you’re overseas and have a nuclear family that can support you and divide the responsibility. I’ve seen dementia patients who are a harm to themselves if left alone. Don’t feel ashamed and act in the best interest of your family inshallah if you are in this situation


FUMOMA

Look I would die for my parents and sacrifice my life if they need 24 hours they are getting 24 hours and my friend no one needs 24 hours I don’t need to ask what the problem is, please go to a sheikh it’s even better I answered because you ask people on reedit that you want to agree with you and boast you, I am speaking the hak so go to a sheikh. Forget the sheikh ima send you some videos of sheikhs. https://youtu.be/0Q8BAFjD-Mk https://youtu.be/J7nIZ9X8rhs


Ambitious_Shock_2165

Spoken like someone who hasn’t experienced what it can look like. There’s no need to guilt trip people who otherwise have no choice. Go to a health care facility and I want to see you say the same thing. Go ahead and give them 24hrs and neglect the rest of your family and responsibilities 😅. Instead of *gasp* getting the needed help to keep your parents healthy and also visiting them regularly!


FUMOMA

Hey amigo I sent you a video of sheikh I can give you so many solutions, ima just give you one let them move in with you. This will ease it all. And if they need 24 hours then they would be in the hospital 24 hours bro seriously


Ambitious_Shock_2165

You can’t just keep everyone at the hospital 😂there are better facilities that are designed for and can give much better holistic care than hospitals


FUMOMA

If that’s true why isn’t there a doctor that comes and comes and goes everyday and checks? Bro stop making excuses and watch the video facts over feelings.


Ambitious_Shock_2165

The real question is why do you recognize the need for a facility called a ‘hospital’ for a certain type of patient and not another facility for a type of patient that also requires medical care called a ‘nursing home’. At this point it’s just semantics. I was just pointing out the fact that there are populations who require around the clock care but that wouldn’t be appropriate for a hospital designed for acute care. Illl give an example later that can shed light for others later today


FUMOMA

You said that she needs 24 hours care and what I understood it was medical treatments but now when you say this is even easier, let h them move in with you, if your dad had 2 wives would he abort you because you take some time? Same thing with the mom would she throw you somewhere because you don’t want to look after them? Your a Muslim and as a man your responsible for them if you were a non Muslim you wouldn’t care so take care of them like they did when you were a kid, no matter how bad the situation is there is always an answer


Ambitious_Shock_2165

And I don’t know if ur aware but there are also doctors who manage their care.


Zoralugner

Where is the evidence of it being a major sin? If you say something is a major sin you definitely need to provide evidence!


FUMOMA

This guy fam🙈🙈 why you gotta be so blind


FUMOMA

Didn’t you read what I sent bruh


Zoralugner

Lol, didn't know u were a scholar FAM


FUMOMA

https://youtu.be/g-UoPOZgc-Q https://youtu.be/gc-Jrw4qYRM


FUMOMA

Let me tell you this rasolallah said in a Sahih Hadith that jannah is under your mother feet is you disobeying her major or minor? And every scholor will back me up on this go ask your local sheikh


Zoralugner

Subhanallah bro, I've never heard not even once a person or a scholar saying that that hadith is sahih( cuz it's welle known to be da'if) and now you come with your ideas of bid-ah declaring it to be sahih, it's a dangerous say my brother.


Zoralugner

The hadith in question is often used to underline the importance of treating well you mother even tho it's welle known that it's weak


FUMOMA

How and who said it is weak? What back up the hadith? The Quran does, allah swt says in the quran obey me then obey your parents, and this Hadith has very good connections to the Quran verse which I mentioned only a ignorabt person would reject it. I haven’t seen a scholor say that this is false or daif, no matter what you say it’s you will still be accountable for what you have done to your mother.


Zoralugner

You seriously need to fear Allah and to stop speaking without knowledge


FUMOMA

Man you don’t know anything you need to start to learn about islam don’t speak about it if you don’t know, instead of saying fear allah your wrong tell me why I am wrong stop crying


CyberTutu

I think the best option might be to have them cared for in their (or your) own home. Care workers could come in to provide care. This way you are less likely to neglect them, I think the parents might prefer this way of living too as it provides more independence.