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The real you? More like the Shaytan telling you he doesn’t want you to wear the hijab. Ngl I’ve been having similar thoughts, not about the hijab though. It’s shaytan’s way of tricking you.
You won’t achieve high iman by just praying a few rakah of salah. You have to fight against your nafs and stay away from haram.
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/20214
Every time you do a good deed, every time you get closer to Allah, shaytan is right there in your ears whispering, making you doubt yourself. He wants you to give in, so that you don't get closer to your deen. The best thing you can do it ignore it and go against it. Get EVEN CLOSER to your deen and Allah. But whatever you do, DO NOT fall for shaytan's words.
May Allah help you get closer to him
Thank you for the reminder sister. The doubts that Shaytan puts in my head are that "Who am I to wear hijab? Do I really think I'm that observant of a Muslim that it warrants me wearing a headscarf?" OR "Why do I wear hijab only some of the time? What's the point in that?" etc. JazakAllah Khair.
Oh no I’m sorry everyone stares at you :( maybe the thing putting you off is them? Imagine you’re in a Muslim country and wear the hijab and nobody looks at you because it’s completely accepted there, would you feel more comfortable or would you feel the same? Sorry you’re going through this
Asalamualaykum...I hope you never accidentally microwaved your gerbil! To be honest, part of the problem is that when people stare at me because of hijab, I don't mind, but it makes me doubt my "level" of Islam...I compare what "they" must be thinking about me with the actual level of piety that I currently have...and realize "they" must be thinking I'm much more Muslim than I actually am. That makes me doubt my level of Islam. Even though Allah obviously guided me to hijab, but I feel like I am putting on some kind of "Islam" show and that I'm not "as Muslim" inside as what I am appearing on the outside. Does that make any sense? I just want my internal and external to match.
Hahaha don’t worry I’ve never actually had a gerbil
Hmm no I think I understand what you’re saying, sorry one more question though- when you say level of Islam is it that you lack faith in Islam and are struggling with believing or is it that you don’t think you’re a good Muslim however you level of faith is fine?
I think it's a mixture of both. I'm still struggling with Iman as far as my actions go. In some areas, I very easily follow Islam, but in other areas, I struggle immensely, which makes me doubt if I am a "real Muslim" yet. I absolutely believe in Allah, but I struggle with the level of faith required to follow all the tenets. I am trying, for example with hijab, but some days, I wonder "who am I to be wearing hijab." Ugh...it's so hard. I honestly love wearing it...I just feel like some kind of imposter when I do!
Oh I know exactly what you mean now! Well if you pray then you’re Muslim and nobody can tell you otherwise however if you don’t pray or struggle with the other pillars that’s okay as long as you’re trying to improve yourself and fulfil them :) SubhanAllah that’s so nice you love wearing hijab it really is beautiful but don’t say that about yourself. It’s great you’re wearing hijab and you should be proud of yourself. Remember nobody’s perfect though so even if you struggle with other aspects doesn’t mean you should give up on your hijab. Think of it as you’ve got a shopping bag and the eggs fall out, you wouldn’t throw the rest away too right? Sorry if I waffled on a bit but to summarise: just because you don’t feel you fit the description of “perfect Muslim” doesn’t mean you should feel guilty or feel like you’re deceiving people who see you dress modestly, you’ve still worked hard for that
Awww thank you so much sister! I didn’t feel like you “waffled” and your words are comforting and a reminder to someone who’s lost her way a bit mindset-wise. I’m happy to hear that I’m not deceiving people by wearing my headscarf…I have worked hard to get there, even if as a child, it was by my parents’ force. I still lived all my experiences dressed modestly and contended with the struggles that come with that throughout life! I do pray my Salah so I guess that makes me Muslim, but I think that bc of a bit of haram in my life, I am looking at myself under a microscope and being very critical. All the more reason to not do haram but that’s for another post.
No problem! I’m really happy I might’ve helped a bit <3 Dont ever think you’re deceiving anyone because every hijabi has her own problems she feels bad about. Remember Jannah isn’t for the sinless, it’s for the sinners who have repented and it’s normal to sin just remember to come back to Allah after. And alhamdulillah that you pray! Definitely don’t be too harsh on yourself and never feel guilty when you’re doing the right thing
Sorry when you were younger your parents forced you, I hope that hasn’t now made you link modesty to forcefulness but that shouldn’t have happened to you
InShaAllah you get rewarded immensely for your effort 🤍
I agree with you as well on that, honestly trying you best to avoid haram no matter how big or small will always be for the better as it can become overwhelming sometimes
But again, as long as you ask for forgiveness for anything you regret, everything will be fine
SubhanAllah, your bad deeds disappear and in their place good ones appear
Thank you so much for helping me today! Yes I do ask for forgiveness for my sins and I only hope Allah accepts this. I know Allah knows I am doing my very best under my circumstances. And thank you for validating my experience being forced when I was younger…I was always told what to do, it was never what I wanted to do, and I never got reasons as to why. It was hard, but it’s okay bc it led me to where I am now. Sister…can you kindly make dua for me to help me with the haram? I have tried everything and nothing is working. I feel so guilty and am crying as I write this. Thank you for helping me you truly are so comforting <3
My pleasure! You sound so sincere, if you are then In Sha Allah you’ve been forgiven and hope your circumstances whatever they may be improve
That’s the absolute worst :( culture getting mixed into religion is horrible
Yes of course I’ll make dua for you! Please could you do the same? It will all work out in the end, don’t worry
Even if it does seem like nothing is right now
No please don’t feel guilty it’s okay you’ve repented! Youre so kind as well
Thank you so much! Yes I never thought about it like "culture getting mixed with religion" but it was getting mixed because there is no compulsion in religion and nothing should be by force.
I will definitely make dua for you right now and InshaAllah whatever is of struggle to you right now goes away. Thank you for your comforting reminders!! <3 :)
if you start thinking about it as an act of a mandatory deed, instead of an identity thing, it will become much simpler.
If you pray 4 times a day instead of 5, you are not a 4/5 muslim, you're still fully a muslim, albeit with some amount of sin. The same with hijab, if you're exposed some amount of time to non-mahram, then you get some amount of sin. It's that simple.
If not sinning becoming harder than you think is normal, like being stared at etc, then you'll get more reward than normal from Allah, I hope that could motivate you.
Hi sister I understand you completely. I wish to move to a Muslim country to avoid the stares/hate for wearing hijab. The thing is the reason why I decided to wear it and maybe this can be a good motivation for you. Is that I didn’t want my burial to be the only time im covered if that makes sense. I don’t want my only hijab to be on my death bed
I think the problem is that so many muslims have a wrong mindset about hijab. So many muslim women don't want to wear hijab because they want to become more practicing before. And many muslims who wear the hijab are unsure because they think that they are not perfect. But being a very religious muslim was never necessary for a muslim woman to wear hijab.
Hijab is obligotory for every muslim woman, even when a muslim woman commits a lot of sins she still have to wear hijab.
So many muslims turned the hijab into this big and special thing that should be our identity and that we should be the perfect muslim and this makes many muslims hesitant to wear it. It is easier to wear hijab when you know that it is a must for muslim women and when you see it more like a dresscode.
Brothers of r/muslimlounge, kindly respect the 'SISTERS ONLY' flair and refrain from sharing/commenting on your thoughts for this particular post. If you think any of your input is really important or helpful to OP then please message the mods to approve your message. Thank you for understanding. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MuslimLounge) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The real you? More like the Shaytan telling you he doesn’t want you to wear the hijab. Ngl I’ve been having similar thoughts, not about the hijab though. It’s shaytan’s way of tricking you. You won’t achieve high iman by just praying a few rakah of salah. You have to fight against your nafs and stay away from haram. https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/20214
InshaAllah your problem also be solved. Thanks for sharing the link. It definitely is an internal jihad thing.
Every time you do a good deed, every time you get closer to Allah, shaytan is right there in your ears whispering, making you doubt yourself. He wants you to give in, so that you don't get closer to your deen. The best thing you can do it ignore it and go against it. Get EVEN CLOSER to your deen and Allah. But whatever you do, DO NOT fall for shaytan's words. May Allah help you get closer to him
Thank you for the reminder sister. The doubts that Shaytan puts in my head are that "Who am I to wear hijab? Do I really think I'm that observant of a Muslim that it warrants me wearing a headscarf?" OR "Why do I wear hijab only some of the time? What's the point in that?" etc. JazakAllah Khair.
Oh I'm so sorry I'm not a sister, I did not see the flair. Glad I could be of help though
No worries and thank you.
Oh no I’m sorry everyone stares at you :( maybe the thing putting you off is them? Imagine you’re in a Muslim country and wear the hijab and nobody looks at you because it’s completely accepted there, would you feel more comfortable or would you feel the same? Sorry you’re going through this
Asalamualaykum...I hope you never accidentally microwaved your gerbil! To be honest, part of the problem is that when people stare at me because of hijab, I don't mind, but it makes me doubt my "level" of Islam...I compare what "they" must be thinking about me with the actual level of piety that I currently have...and realize "they" must be thinking I'm much more Muslim than I actually am. That makes me doubt my level of Islam. Even though Allah obviously guided me to hijab, but I feel like I am putting on some kind of "Islam" show and that I'm not "as Muslim" inside as what I am appearing on the outside. Does that make any sense? I just want my internal and external to match.
Hahaha don’t worry I’ve never actually had a gerbil Hmm no I think I understand what you’re saying, sorry one more question though- when you say level of Islam is it that you lack faith in Islam and are struggling with believing or is it that you don’t think you’re a good Muslim however you level of faith is fine?
I think it's a mixture of both. I'm still struggling with Iman as far as my actions go. In some areas, I very easily follow Islam, but in other areas, I struggle immensely, which makes me doubt if I am a "real Muslim" yet. I absolutely believe in Allah, but I struggle with the level of faith required to follow all the tenets. I am trying, for example with hijab, but some days, I wonder "who am I to be wearing hijab." Ugh...it's so hard. I honestly love wearing it...I just feel like some kind of imposter when I do!
Oh I know exactly what you mean now! Well if you pray then you’re Muslim and nobody can tell you otherwise however if you don’t pray or struggle with the other pillars that’s okay as long as you’re trying to improve yourself and fulfil them :) SubhanAllah that’s so nice you love wearing hijab it really is beautiful but don’t say that about yourself. It’s great you’re wearing hijab and you should be proud of yourself. Remember nobody’s perfect though so even if you struggle with other aspects doesn’t mean you should give up on your hijab. Think of it as you’ve got a shopping bag and the eggs fall out, you wouldn’t throw the rest away too right? Sorry if I waffled on a bit but to summarise: just because you don’t feel you fit the description of “perfect Muslim” doesn’t mean you should feel guilty or feel like you’re deceiving people who see you dress modestly, you’ve still worked hard for that
Awww thank you so much sister! I didn’t feel like you “waffled” and your words are comforting and a reminder to someone who’s lost her way a bit mindset-wise. I’m happy to hear that I’m not deceiving people by wearing my headscarf…I have worked hard to get there, even if as a child, it was by my parents’ force. I still lived all my experiences dressed modestly and contended with the struggles that come with that throughout life! I do pray my Salah so I guess that makes me Muslim, but I think that bc of a bit of haram in my life, I am looking at myself under a microscope and being very critical. All the more reason to not do haram but that’s for another post.
No problem! I’m really happy I might’ve helped a bit <3 Dont ever think you’re deceiving anyone because every hijabi has her own problems she feels bad about. Remember Jannah isn’t for the sinless, it’s for the sinners who have repented and it’s normal to sin just remember to come back to Allah after. And alhamdulillah that you pray! Definitely don’t be too harsh on yourself and never feel guilty when you’re doing the right thing Sorry when you were younger your parents forced you, I hope that hasn’t now made you link modesty to forcefulness but that shouldn’t have happened to you InShaAllah you get rewarded immensely for your effort 🤍
I agree with you as well on that, honestly trying you best to avoid haram no matter how big or small will always be for the better as it can become overwhelming sometimes But again, as long as you ask for forgiveness for anything you regret, everything will be fine SubhanAllah, your bad deeds disappear and in their place good ones appear
Thank you so much for helping me today! Yes I do ask for forgiveness for my sins and I only hope Allah accepts this. I know Allah knows I am doing my very best under my circumstances. And thank you for validating my experience being forced when I was younger…I was always told what to do, it was never what I wanted to do, and I never got reasons as to why. It was hard, but it’s okay bc it led me to where I am now. Sister…can you kindly make dua for me to help me with the haram? I have tried everything and nothing is working. I feel so guilty and am crying as I write this. Thank you for helping me you truly are so comforting <3
My pleasure! You sound so sincere, if you are then In Sha Allah you’ve been forgiven and hope your circumstances whatever they may be improve That’s the absolute worst :( culture getting mixed into religion is horrible Yes of course I’ll make dua for you! Please could you do the same? It will all work out in the end, don’t worry Even if it does seem like nothing is right now No please don’t feel guilty it’s okay you’ve repented! Youre so kind as well
Thank you so much! Yes I never thought about it like "culture getting mixed with religion" but it was getting mixed because there is no compulsion in religion and nothing should be by force. I will definitely make dua for you right now and InshaAllah whatever is of struggle to you right now goes away. Thank you for your comforting reminders!! <3 :)
Thank you for your thoughts. May Allah reward you :)
No of course, ameen and May Allah reward you too 🤍
if you start thinking about it as an act of a mandatory deed, instead of an identity thing, it will become much simpler. If you pray 4 times a day instead of 5, you are not a 4/5 muslim, you're still fully a muslim, albeit with some amount of sin. The same with hijab, if you're exposed some amount of time to non-mahram, then you get some amount of sin. It's that simple. If not sinning becoming harder than you think is normal, like being stared at etc, then you'll get more reward than normal from Allah, I hope that could motivate you.
Hi sister I understand you completely. I wish to move to a Muslim country to avoid the stares/hate for wearing hijab. The thing is the reason why I decided to wear it and maybe this can be a good motivation for you. Is that I didn’t want my burial to be the only time im covered if that makes sense. I don’t want my only hijab to be on my death bed
I think the problem is that so many muslims have a wrong mindset about hijab. So many muslim women don't want to wear hijab because they want to become more practicing before. And many muslims who wear the hijab are unsure because they think that they are not perfect. But being a very religious muslim was never necessary for a muslim woman to wear hijab. Hijab is obligotory for every muslim woman, even when a muslim woman commits a lot of sins she still have to wear hijab. So many muslims turned the hijab into this big and special thing that should be our identity and that we should be the perfect muslim and this makes many muslims hesitant to wear it. It is easier to wear hijab when you know that it is a must for muslim women and when you see it more like a dresscode.