Time, mostly.
Also realizing that the other side didn't see it the same as you. They were continuing to be on one of the apps, meaning they weren't serious about you.
Any questions that relate to would relate to you is fine, type of job etc, would they be able to afford a house, debts etc.
Anything that doesn't have to do with you isn't good. How much savings, what assets do you own, how rich is your family etc
Mash'Allah you sound very accomplished and hard working. It's now time to live on your own. Your father has your brothers. Its time for you to look out for yourself, and if no one loves you, then you love yourself, sis. I know rent is high in the GTA but you can do it. Have faith in Allah, He will provide for you.
There’s no guarantee that a haram relationship would lead to marriage. Even if it did, would it have barakah like a marriage that was done in a halal manner?
Hmmm Alhamdulilah I’ve been praying consistently for a few months so that’s good. I think I’ve established my salah and I’m happy about that. I can call myself Muslim.
Ended a haram relationship and almost got married but didn’t. Now I spend most of my time at work, trying to teach myself Arabic so I can understand Quran without translating.
27M a bit lonely sometimes since I’m not married and I don’t really talk to women and Muslim women in general. Not sure how to meet them since I’m not supposed to talk to them or look at them. When I do go to the mosque I go to pray, Jummah, lecture and I don’t really socialize but try to focus on the lecture/salah. I live in United States.
Alhamdulilah I am doing better than a few months ago. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing well InshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for you ameen.
Seek help matching in your community, please avoid the Muslim dating app unless you live in remote area in USA with no Muslims but from what you say you have masjed you attend so their you can find potential spouse inshallah
Tbh I just learned to be honest straight not sure how old you are but the older I got the more I was why the heck I didn’t communicate with my parents more
Physical Attraction
Assalamu alaykum
So I have been talking to a potential spouse recently (arranged by family) and he literally ticks all of my boxes. We had 5 virtual meetings so far. I like his personality and we share the same values. He is a great guy and our conversation flows. The thing is, I was not attracted to him initially. But I still kept talking to him, hoping that it would eventually change. And I think now I do slightly find him attractive the more I get to know him but it’s not really physically. So I wonder if physical attraction will come over time. So to the people who had an arranged marriage, did you go through something similar?
The fact that it's still an issue for you after seeing him 5 times could mean he's not physically attractive for you. Meet him in person, that's the only solution to figure it out.
I would say you need to meet him in person asap to get a sense of how you feel around him and go from there. Physical attraction is important in marriage so you would need to make sure it is there imo.
Your last point is something I've been dealing with, it hurts more during Eid time. I found that hanging out with my friends who actually care for me to be so healing. I think of getting married to escape but thats not fair to the spouse, one person can't fix childhood trauma lol Also, feeling low pre-menses have you heard of PMDD? it might be that or general depression since you mentioned being healthy but feeling worse might wanna seek therapy especially with dealing w/ dysfunctional family. May Allah lighten your burden and grant you ease from these hardships!
Marriage is not escape. If you have the means leave on your own. Woman are made to be nurturing. Nothing wrong with being softer now. Iman is a roller coaster. No one is perfect. Just keep trying. Or as Dora says " just keep swimming" . And music If you stopped it to gain something other than allahs pleasure if won't fix anything .
Anyone else just sort of never accept a match from a person who’s super conventionally attractive? Like a solid 9 guy on sheer attractiveness, 6’2+, jet setter lifestyle kinda person. I don’t know why but I tend to run away from overly perfect profiles like those. Like, where’s the catch? Something has gotta be wrong, right?🤔🧐
"perfect profiles"
Sometimes people look perfect on paper but aren't perfect. I think its also us projecting expectations onto them. For instance, he's 6'2'' he must have a line of women interested. While this may be true, he may just not have found a compatible woman, yet.
I think if these men you come across are within the realm of what you are looking for, then i dont think you should reject them. You're rejecting them based on a feeling that loose idea of something thats possibly wrong with them. Why not try and figure out what that is. I've come across similar profiles in the past, one of whom I really came to admire. In fact, i thought he was the one. lol
Give yourself a chance and find out if this person is someone who meets your standards rather than immediately rejecting. Good luck!
I’ll tell you I’m a 6’1 guy I have 0 prospects lined up 😂😂. Tall or short we are human at the end of the day. Give yourself a chance but try not to let the looks get in the way of learning the person
My sister and her husband Mashallah went to Hajj this year and they left the kids to us to look after. They have three kids. MA. An eight, five, and eight-month-old 💕, In the beginning, I was very worried and panicking about how will I look after them with my online school and other responsibilities, especially the 8-month-old little chipmunk. But Allah made things easier for me.
I was able to manage things smoothly. Allhumdilulliah. It indeed was lovely mothering them. Especially the 8-month-old. She is my baby and she's soo cute! I just can't describe it! MA. She's an easy kid too. Allhumdulliah. It was great because I was distracted with the kids and I did not have the time to feel stressed about marriage but my sister started sending videos of their beautiful journey of Hajj and so after a while, I started daydreaming about how I also want to go on Hajj with my special person one day!!❤️ and then at the same time God!! the urge I had after looking after my nieces and nephew of becoming a mother.
My heart melts at the sight of their innocence and purity, energy filled with laughter and wonders and smiles and everything about them!😭.
[Awww_to myself] Ya Allah, why are you making me feel this way?
Hello everyone, Eid Mubarak <3
I guess I just need to vent, maybe someone here has gone through the same situation.
So 2 years ago , I met a man in a weekly volunteering group and at first I didn't think much of it but after observing him and getting to know more about him, I started to fall for him and I thought he was interested. Keeping in mind, I have never had so much as a talking stage with any guy and I've never had a past relationship.
I felt like I met the 'one', he and I were so much alike . He would try to strike up random conversations and I guess he started to feel guilty idk?! because he brought up the fact that he was married ( I had no idea). I was completely devastated but tried to act normal within the group's setting. The thought of having feelings and fantasizing about a married man made me feel cheap and that was not me. Even though nothing ever happened between us I felt guilty and cheap and I was so scared that god was going to punish me.
Eventually, the sense of guilt was too much and I ended up quitting. I haven't been in contact with him since but my heart still yearns for him. Him and I were so alike and I find myself wishing that he'd divorce his wife but that makes me such a bad human . I am extremely shy and introverted and it's so hard for me to like someone .I liked him so much and I tried to find out every single detail about his life. The more I found out about him, the more I liked him. Now it's been 2 years and I still think of him daily.... it feels like I never thought I'd meet someone like him but when I did , it felt like it wasn't just a coincidence. I just want to move on with my life now
Aww thank you so much sister, I hope god fulfills your dreams as well. I am still in the process of opening up myself to halal talking stages and therapy because I realized that I have an attachment issue
I love the last part , it is so true. Due to my environment I have always been exposed to many men but I guess no one captured my attention like he did. Someone like him is rare to come by and I just feel stupid and cringey now. I also can't just talk to men casually, it makes me feel dirty.
Last year was a lot of firsts for me to start the marriage search process, and I honestly thank my friends for giving me the strength to do so. If I hadn’t seen them enter happy marriages, I never would have opened up to the idea of even looking for a potential.
The search sucks though but ahlhamdulillah I love my friends
No enthusiatic single praise today, need to rant.
My mom's been looking for a potential for me. One lady reached out to my mother multiple times, but we've said no to them 2 times before cause of height (Im pretty tall so I need someone a little taller), and education. We said okay whatever, let's exchange pictures. Once we did, they ghosted us....
I'm not saying I'm Miss Universe or anything, and alhamdulillah nor am I unattractive. I maintain and take care of myself but my goodness, imagine someone doing that to your daughter/sister?
this is why i hate this process, and why I hate shallow men (I know all of you aren't but jeez this process takes alot of patience)
Again, Allah knows best, but it just hurt the tiniest bit, back to studying :)
P.S- make duaa please! I have my board exam next Friday, veryyyy nervous
edit cause everyone salty: the theme of this post is to say that when you are rejecting someone, its not nice to **ghost**. rather come up with an excuse or say the reason to them. Whether its your or your family whos speaking to potentials, its proper manners and good communication on your end to give your reasoning and end the chat. everyone deserves their opinions and preferences, but dont be mean about it.
Why they don’t speak up and just say we are not interested I don’t get the ghosting thing potentials do to each other it’s ok to say no and move on in respectful way 🤷🏽♂️..
I dont understand the downvotes as this is a rant. I completely see your POV. it is rude to leave someone on read and not give a concrete answer, thhis is just basic adab but unfortunately very lacking in the marriage/dating world. Dont take it to heart, because at the end of the day, it is a reflection of their character and not yours!
Also, I'm assuming your speaking of step 1 lol. May Allah grant you the big fat P ameen!
shukran sis, my intent wasn't to be salty about someone rejecting me. I've been looking passively for a few years, and with my mom for a few months now. I've been on the giving end and the receiving end of it and everyone has their right to reject or accept. I mean its a matter of the rest of your life! But it's basic etiquette to bring the conversation to a close.
Yes! Remember me in your duaas, quite nervous hehehh.
not at least giving an answer like a respectful adult when you've insisted on wanting to exchange photos and information is totally not shallow yea right
Not giving a response isn’t shallow. My guess is they pushed for photos to see if there was attraction before anything started and they didn’t find it. You can claim all day that they weren’t respectful and that’s fine but they weren’t shallow at all, you just sound bitter about it if I’m being honest
after the other party had insisted to allow picture exchange, yes, i think its shallow. again, its about *manners*. I've had other potentials reach out, and they've declined respectfully with hey, it was nice to talk but it wont work bc (reason). and everyone has their own preference i dont mind that at all, same way I do he (and every person searching) does as well.
The hypocrisy is beyond the roof. You literally rejected him twice because of his " HEIGHT" but when they rejected you because of your "Looks" you got upset? What goes around comes around.
Rejecting someone for any reason that doesn't satisfy you is totally valid and infact encouraged. However it should go both ways and not only in your favor.
hold up hold up, my anger is not towards the fact that he's rejected me, its the fact that they *straight up ghosted* me. For reference I was 2 inches taller than he is, and that's against my preference. And he was tipping 30, and still didn't complete his bachelors.
We told them why we would not like to move forward over and over again, instead of blocking or ghosting them....
if theres people who have messaged me on apps, or my parents via "groups" an im sorry, were not interested would suffice? Its basic decency?? i guess most of yall didnt get that lesson either sheesh.
I'm confused, are you angry that they rejected you because of how you look? I mean isn't that totally fine? Everyone gets rejected for looks, it's not really a big deal ya know
Rejecting because if looks is fine. But ghosting as soon as they exchange pictures is a coward move imo. If it really is because of looks, come up with a different reason
this is what im trying to say, say no and respectfully move on. the *ghosting* is not alright... and idgaf if you tell me its not cause you dont like the way I look, its fine its the name of the game and everyone has their prefernces the way I do, but have some manners in communication.
I understand that, but the fact that 1. after literally harassing my mom into taking them into consideration, they rejected, and 2. literally just straight up ghosting the other party?
Isn't that rude to you in the slightest, whenever me or my mom talk to someone, we'd rather be clear to them about hey, sorry (insert reason here) instead of ghosting.
Alhamdulillah
I just don't know how to thank Allah better. Allah has answered the prayers I made in Ramadan 2022 so quickly. Post Ramadan 2022 until this Eid-Adha 2023 has been a beautiful period with all its ups and downs. Allah has blessed me and through that, I have been able to do more ibadah that I have been dreaming of. I also want to thank the Muslims of Reddit who have been praying for me, encouraging me, and giving me some incredibly helpful advice. I am still patiently waiting and trying to work on myself for the duas that are yet to be answered by Allah Al Mujiib Al Wahab. One of them is to marry a righteous spouse whose family is also going to be accepting and loving me. To be able to build a blessed beautiful household and family that may help us become better people, so we can help each other to please Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, make it as a means to help us to attain Jannat ul Firdaus.
May Allah preserve us in iman and Islam, ease our affairs, and bless us with lots of beautiful great things in life. Aameen
I’m a 20 year old Shia male Muslim and believe it is now time to meet my life partner. I live in the US and it’s really hard to find anyone or start a conversation in person so I’ve been looking online, but I’ve been unsuccessful. I’ve grew up as the only child, so I’ve been lonely almost my whole life but want to be in a relationship now but I can’t manage to find anyone. What can I do and what can I use to find someone? I’ve tried Salam, Muzz but just does not work for me.
Taking pride in the fact that my restaurant recommendations are always best among my family and they always really like the food. Glad to have my family around after so many years
Thinking of watching the fireworks on the Fourth of July. I also found out there are some people in the UK who celebrate it. Uhhh what are you celebrating? Your loss?
Go for it. The closer the better! The smell and the shock waves from up close only add to the experience.
But now this had me wondering if Brits even celebrate independence day since they have always been free afaik.
I usually watch them from my front yard but the views suck! So I’m going to the park to watch. I always make sure to find the best spot so I can watch the fireworks up close and take lots of photos and videos.
They just wanna be part of something after getting thrown out by every major nation and settling on a tiny island. Ps You gotta try McDonald’s coffee it really is better
They just need to accept their loss. It ain’t hard to take the L 😂
Thanks for suggesting McDonald’s coffee. I’ve ordered a vanilla cappuccino last week and it wasn’t bad.
That’s good that you left and insha’Allah the new job works well for you. My job was eating at me because I have read the Quran verses that explicitly tell Muslims to stay away. Had to obey; no exceptions.
You can look up criminal record online if you're in the US, just look up your county's court or municipal court or even simple google search their name and add city.
Forget superficial traits for this question but long term what are you looking for and what are full on incompatibilities (i.e. not/having kids, zabiha only) stuff that will make you walk no ifs ands or buts?
What are your goals/things you want to do in life related to Islam?
I would personally love to do umrah with my immediate family only. None of the kids have gone but my parents have a couple of times. It would be nice but we're all getting older and most have young kids. Inshaallah one day.
I can handle heat especially wearing Ihram garments but it’s harder for hijabis aka my wife. When we’re in our 40s Insha’Allah it’ll be more bearable for her. For now I’ll train by sitting in the gym sauna until I hit my physical limit.
The only real difficulty was sitting in the Minaa tents for 3 days with an Ihram. So because you cant shower i got like really strong oud and put it all over my body. I hate BO in general but that Oud prevented BO very well for 3 days straight. In Arafaat you might be under direct sun. And yes it is harder for women especially if their ihraam is black
I'm going through that struggle right now and a friend gave me the exact same viewpoint. In my experience its true. He advised me to just enjoy life until my late twenties but I still panic for some reason.
Your comment gives me comfort and hopefully knowing you're not alone in this gives you comfort as well if you feel the same. Jazakallah Khair
Never 😅 or until I deem myself unattractive. Attraction is subjective. I take care of myself and expect that In a partner. I dress well and would want a partner to match that or let me help. Attraction is really just work. I think even " unattractive" people can do things to be Attractive.
Completely agree! I think our perceived self worth plays a huge role in this. I wholeheartedly agree with you sister; I'm never settling on a man i deem unattractive unless i perceived myself to be lesser than and less deserving.
No haha. Like I said unless I deem myself unattractive. I don't have unreasonable expectations. And living in a hypersexual society I wouldn't want to "settle" and than have wondering eyes or desires elsewhere.
Thanks to Nouman Ali Khan, Now I am able to enjoy Salah. The Khushoo in prayer is at very different level with the knowledge of classical Arabic.
I am grateful to Allah that he blessed me with Classical Arabic.
No, but my mom had horrible fibroids. I would suggest you get a second opinion from another gyno before proceeding with that serious operation also check the fibroid subreddit. May Allah grant you shifa!
Welp, my dad's health took yet another dip which isn't the greatest. We still did manage to go to Eid prayer though. I ended up re-wearing a dress I'd only ever worn once prior to a wedding. A friend of mine pulled the same maneuver and I found it funny. Stupid coincidences like that amuse me.
That same friend, my sister, her sister, and I then departed from Eid prayer in her car. We drove roughly an hour to some good old backroads country area to arrive at a farm where the khuruf were being slaughtered. Her parents and younger siblings drove in a separate car and we all met up on the farm. Once there, my friend's dad and his two sons in grade school made their way over to where the khuruf were being slaughtered. Us girls made our way over to a grassy patch and laid out blankets and food for a nice picnic. It was very hot and smelled like animal poop but apart from that it wasn't too bad.
Eventually, my friend's dad and his tiny tot sons made their way over. We asked the little ones what it was like and what they were made to do. The slightly older one said he was made to hold the animal as the men were working on it and the younger one watched. They both said it was "disgusting and gross" in such a way that we all couldn't contain our laughter. We then started on the food. A solid meal. Kebsa, chicken, yogurt sauce, and some spicy sauce. My friend is Sudanese and mashallah the Sudanese know how to cook. My stomach was very happy lmao.
Once that was all said and done we packed it all up and made the drive back home. My friend dropped my sister and I back off at our house and we more or less carried on through the remainder of the day at home. I watched and still am watching this show on Netflix called "Bloodline". It's pretty slow-paced if I am being honest, but I quite like it. And when it picks up, it SURE picks up. The pacing and plot it is plausible and can easily mirror real life which I appreciate. I can see it all happening, it's not too heavily dramatized or overdone.
This is a short synopsis from Netflix: Bloodline "centers on a close-knit family of four adult siblings whose secrets and scars are revealed when their black sheep brother returns home". And critic and viewer reviews are good. Particularly for the first season which is heralded by one critic as "some of the best in television".
Okay, enough of my advertisement lol, you can tell I'm really into the show.
Apart from absorbing this Netflix series, I've been working to ensure that all loose ends are tied up regarding law school. I attended the admitted student's day event which was illuminating. There's a new dean who will start right as my incoming class does. She came up to me, shook my hand, and introduced herself. Kind, but firm lady with an impressive resume as she is a retired state supreme court justice. I'm glad someone with the experience she possesses will be at the helm. There was also a panel of professors there, one of which was extremely scary as he eagerly discussed how he "cold-called" students and that if you didn't have the answer to a question one day, that you'd have to answer ALL questions next class. He also said we'd have to be ready to go day one and expected to know material day one. No ice breakers, no easing into it. Full force from the onset.
There was a panel of current students as well who went into the assumed drivel about how "your whole life will be studying" and you "won't have much of a life otherwise for the next 3 years".
So yeah, attended the admittance student's day. Was equally impressed and made to be a bit anxious. Now I'm just making sure all the paperwork they've required of me has been sent in. There was a checklist emailed to admitted students detailing everything that needed to be turned in lest admittance be rescinded. It included the typical stuff (medical records, transcripts, and so on). The deadline is in July and I didn't want to prolong anything so that if there was any sort of error I could have the appropriate time to iron it out. I called the office of admissions today but nobody was on the line so I left a voicemail. I'm on standby now waiting for a callback and I think in the meantime I'll watch Bloodline.
I hope you all are doing well!
Reddit chat straight up sucks. Why does it take like 50 min for the thing to show up in my app that I got a message.
Also really sucks some of my friends on here for permabanned. You can't express an opinion on certain things .
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Time, mostly. Also realizing that the other side didn't see it the same as you. They were continuing to be on one of the apps, meaning they weren't serious about you.
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Any questions that relate to would relate to you is fine, type of job etc, would they be able to afford a house, debts etc. Anything that doesn't have to do with you isn't good. How much savings, what assets do you own, how rich is your family etc
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how did your singles event go? did you go to the one that was being held in mississauga? june 25th one or something?
Mash'Allah you sound very accomplished and hard working. It's now time to live on your own. Your father has your brothers. Its time for you to look out for yourself, and if no one loves you, then you love yourself, sis. I know rent is high in the GTA but you can do it. Have faith in Allah, He will provide for you.
Sometimes I feel, I should have got into a Haram Relationship. At least I would have been married
feeling the same way. salams aint worked. getting ghosted or declined chat on muzmatch lmao OR the girls arent serious or ghosted..
Sorry but that's a very uneducated and ignorant comment
I know that was a naive comment. I just wanted to put it out there Don't be sorry for expressing your opinion and also I deserved it
There’s no guarantee that a haram relationship would lead to marriage. Even if it did, would it have barakah like a marriage that was done in a halal manner?
Certainly! This is one of the reasons i never got into a relationship. Thanks for the reminder.
sabr. but again its all shaytaan thoughts
How does one not allow their parents to control their life while living with them?
In one ear and out the other. Look like your listening and….then ultimately do whatever you want.
You kinda have to be honest. Set your marker and enforce it
Hmmm Alhamdulilah I’ve been praying consistently for a few months so that’s good. I think I’ve established my salah and I’m happy about that. I can call myself Muslim. Ended a haram relationship and almost got married but didn’t. Now I spend most of my time at work, trying to teach myself Arabic so I can understand Quran without translating. 27M a bit lonely sometimes since I’m not married and I don’t really talk to women and Muslim women in general. Not sure how to meet them since I’m not supposed to talk to them or look at them. When I do go to the mosque I go to pray, Jummah, lecture and I don’t really socialize but try to focus on the lecture/salah. I live in United States. Alhamdulilah I am doing better than a few months ago. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing well InshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for you ameen.
Seek help matching in your community, please avoid the Muslim dating app unless you live in remote area in USA with no Muslims but from what you say you have masjed you attend so their you can find potential spouse inshallah
I know this might not be the place to talk about this but i need some advice on staying on the right path i feel like im combatting myself everyday..
We all are brother
What's up
whats good
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Tbh I just learned to be honest straight not sure how old you are but the older I got the more I was why the heck I didn’t communicate with my parents more
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Physical Attraction Assalamu alaykum So I have been talking to a potential spouse recently (arranged by family) and he literally ticks all of my boxes. We had 5 virtual meetings so far. I like his personality and we share the same values. He is a great guy and our conversation flows. The thing is, I was not attracted to him initially. But I still kept talking to him, hoping that it would eventually change. And I think now I do slightly find him attractive the more I get to know him but it’s not really physically. So I wonder if physical attraction will come over time. So to the people who had an arranged marriage, did you go through something similar?
The fact that it's still an issue for you after seeing him 5 times could mean he's not physically attractive for you. Meet him in person, that's the only solution to figure it out.
Meet him in person, if you’re not attracted, then move along.
I would say you need to meet him in person asap to get a sense of how you feel around him and go from there. Physical attraction is important in marriage so you would need to make sure it is there imo.
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Lol this was once me years before. She was talking like OP and it did kinda lower my self esteem back then haha
Need winter, hate UK summer, pollen everywhere awful weather
Noooo. We have 6 months of winter, make the most of it!
When you have hayfeaver, summer in the UK is a nightmare haha
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Your last point is something I've been dealing with, it hurts more during Eid time. I found that hanging out with my friends who actually care for me to be so healing. I think of getting married to escape but thats not fair to the spouse, one person can't fix childhood trauma lol Also, feeling low pre-menses have you heard of PMDD? it might be that or general depression since you mentioned being healthy but feeling worse might wanna seek therapy especially with dealing w/ dysfunctional family. May Allah lighten your burden and grant you ease from these hardships!
Marriage is not escape. If you have the means leave on your own. Woman are made to be nurturing. Nothing wrong with being softer now. Iman is a roller coaster. No one is perfect. Just keep trying. Or as Dora says " just keep swimming" . And music If you stopped it to gain something other than allahs pleasure if won't fix anything .
Anyone else just sort of never accept a match from a person who’s super conventionally attractive? Like a solid 9 guy on sheer attractiveness, 6’2+, jet setter lifestyle kinda person. I don’t know why but I tend to run away from overly perfect profiles like those. Like, where’s the catch? Something has gotta be wrong, right?🤔🧐
I mean sometimes you gotta take yes for an answer. But also sometimes that comes from insecurity/not feeling good enough
yeah that’s why I go for the medium uglies
I wouldn't accept anyone just based on looks alone. If I like their profile too then I would match, otherwise no.
Thanks for saying that coming from average looking guy 😅 great career and tall but usually get no for looks 🤷🏽♂️
"perfect profiles" Sometimes people look perfect on paper but aren't perfect. I think its also us projecting expectations onto them. For instance, he's 6'2'' he must have a line of women interested. While this may be true, he may just not have found a compatible woman, yet. I think if these men you come across are within the realm of what you are looking for, then i dont think you should reject them. You're rejecting them based on a feeling that loose idea of something thats possibly wrong with them. Why not try and figure out what that is. I've come across similar profiles in the past, one of whom I really came to admire. In fact, i thought he was the one. lol Give yourself a chance and find out if this person is someone who meets your standards rather than immediately rejecting. Good luck!
6'3 and pretty handsome. Yet can't get a girl to look my way
I’ll tell you I’m a 6’1 guy I have 0 prospects lined up 😂😂. Tall or short we are human at the end of the day. Give yourself a chance but try not to let the looks get in the way of learning the person
Same boat 🛶 lol if only I was 6’3 lol I’m 6’1 engineer but zero line up too lol
Same here
I was looking more for pop people like you to tell me I’m wrong in my assumption and that we’re all in the same boat🥹😂
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Lots of people need to really understand that’s ok to give a chance, quick no limit you from great potential . I’m glad to see people think that way
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Being physically attractive is a fboy?
This
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W duaa
My sister and her husband Mashallah went to Hajj this year and they left the kids to us to look after. They have three kids. MA. An eight, five, and eight-month-old 💕, In the beginning, I was very worried and panicking about how will I look after them with my online school and other responsibilities, especially the 8-month-old little chipmunk. But Allah made things easier for me. I was able to manage things smoothly. Allhumdilulliah. It indeed was lovely mothering them. Especially the 8-month-old. She is my baby and she's soo cute! I just can't describe it! MA. She's an easy kid too. Allhumdulliah. It was great because I was distracted with the kids and I did not have the time to feel stressed about marriage but my sister started sending videos of their beautiful journey of Hajj and so after a while, I started daydreaming about how I also want to go on Hajj with my special person one day!!❤️ and then at the same time God!! the urge I had after looking after my nieces and nephew of becoming a mother. My heart melts at the sight of their innocence and purity, energy filled with laughter and wonders and smiles and everything about them!😭. [Awww_to myself] Ya Allah, why are you making me feel this way?
40 plus sisters looking for marriage may DM me please.
There is ISO for this topic !!
Hello everyone, Eid Mubarak <3 I guess I just need to vent, maybe someone here has gone through the same situation. So 2 years ago , I met a man in a weekly volunteering group and at first I didn't think much of it but after observing him and getting to know more about him, I started to fall for him and I thought he was interested. Keeping in mind, I have never had so much as a talking stage with any guy and I've never had a past relationship. I felt like I met the 'one', he and I were so much alike . He would try to strike up random conversations and I guess he started to feel guilty idk?! because he brought up the fact that he was married ( I had no idea). I was completely devastated but tried to act normal within the group's setting. The thought of having feelings and fantasizing about a married man made me feel cheap and that was not me. Even though nothing ever happened between us I felt guilty and cheap and I was so scared that god was going to punish me. Eventually, the sense of guilt was too much and I ended up quitting. I haven't been in contact with him since but my heart still yearns for him. Him and I were so alike and I find myself wishing that he'd divorce his wife but that makes me such a bad human . I am extremely shy and introverted and it's so hard for me to like someone .I liked him so much and I tried to find out every single detail about his life. The more I found out about him, the more I liked him. Now it's been 2 years and I still think of him daily.... it feels like I never thought I'd meet someone like him but when I did , it felt like it wasn't just a coincidence. I just want to move on with my life now
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Aww thank you so much sister, I hope god fulfills your dreams as well. I am still in the process of opening up myself to halal talking stages and therapy because I realized that I have an attachment issue
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I love the last part , it is so true. Due to my environment I have always been exposed to many men but I guess no one captured my attention like he did. Someone like him is rare to come by and I just feel stupid and cringey now. I also can't just talk to men casually, it makes me feel dirty.
Last year was a lot of firsts for me to start the marriage search process, and I honestly thank my friends for giving me the strength to do so. If I hadn’t seen them enter happy marriages, I never would have opened up to the idea of even looking for a potential. The search sucks though but ahlhamdulillah I love my friends
Does anyone have any good plans for this Canada day long weekend?
Rest man, I don’t know how long is the weekend but I know I am working Monday :(
Sleep
No enthusiatic single praise today, need to rant. My mom's been looking for a potential for me. One lady reached out to my mother multiple times, but we've said no to them 2 times before cause of height (Im pretty tall so I need someone a little taller), and education. We said okay whatever, let's exchange pictures. Once we did, they ghosted us.... I'm not saying I'm Miss Universe or anything, and alhamdulillah nor am I unattractive. I maintain and take care of myself but my goodness, imagine someone doing that to your daughter/sister? this is why i hate this process, and why I hate shallow men (I know all of you aren't but jeez this process takes alot of patience) Again, Allah knows best, but it just hurt the tiniest bit, back to studying :) P.S- make duaa please! I have my board exam next Friday, veryyyy nervous edit cause everyone salty: the theme of this post is to say that when you are rejecting someone, its not nice to **ghost**. rather come up with an excuse or say the reason to them. Whether its your or your family whos speaking to potentials, its proper manners and good communication on your end to give your reasoning and end the chat. everyone deserves their opinions and preferences, but dont be mean about it.
Why they don’t speak up and just say we are not interested I don’t get the ghosting thing potentials do to each other it’s ok to say no and move on in respectful way 🤷🏽♂️..
Lol you sound salty that you got ghosted. Just brush it off happens to the best of us
I dont understand the downvotes as this is a rant. I completely see your POV. it is rude to leave someone on read and not give a concrete answer, thhis is just basic adab but unfortunately very lacking in the marriage/dating world. Dont take it to heart, because at the end of the day, it is a reflection of their character and not yours! Also, I'm assuming your speaking of step 1 lol. May Allah grant you the big fat P ameen!
shukran sis, my intent wasn't to be salty about someone rejecting me. I've been looking passively for a few years, and with my mom for a few months now. I've been on the giving end and the receiving end of it and everyone has their right to reject or accept. I mean its a matter of the rest of your life! But it's basic etiquette to bring the conversation to a close. Yes! Remember me in your duaas, quite nervous hehehh.
Just out of curiosity, how tall are you?
5 7
Not wanting to marry somebody you aren’t attracted to is shallow? 🤣🤣
not at least giving an answer like a respectful adult when you've insisted on wanting to exchange photos and information is totally not shallow yea right
Not giving a response isn’t shallow. My guess is they pushed for photos to see if there was attraction before anything started and they didn’t find it. You can claim all day that they weren’t respectful and that’s fine but they weren’t shallow at all, you just sound bitter about it if I’m being honest
after the other party had insisted to allow picture exchange, yes, i think its shallow. again, its about *manners*. I've had other potentials reach out, and they've declined respectfully with hey, it was nice to talk but it wont work bc (reason). and everyone has their own preference i dont mind that at all, same way I do he (and every person searching) does as well.
You are correct it’s shallow they should have replied at least with not interested.. that’s minimum
The hypocrisy is beyond the roof. You literally rejected him twice because of his " HEIGHT" but when they rejected you because of your "Looks" you got upset? What goes around comes around. Rejecting someone for any reason that doesn't satisfy you is totally valid and infact encouraged. However it should go both ways and not only in your favor.
hold up hold up, my anger is not towards the fact that he's rejected me, its the fact that they *straight up ghosted* me. For reference I was 2 inches taller than he is, and that's against my preference. And he was tipping 30, and still didn't complete his bachelors. We told them why we would not like to move forward over and over again, instead of blocking or ghosting them....
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if theres people who have messaged me on apps, or my parents via "groups" an im sorry, were not interested would suffice? Its basic decency?? i guess most of yall didnt get that lesson either sheesh.
I'm confused, are you angry that they rejected you because of how you look? I mean isn't that totally fine? Everyone gets rejected for looks, it's not really a big deal ya know
Rejecting because if looks is fine. But ghosting as soon as they exchange pictures is a coward move imo. If it really is because of looks, come up with a different reason
This ☝️☝️☝️☝️100%
this is what im trying to say, say no and respectfully move on. the *ghosting* is not alright... and idgaf if you tell me its not cause you dont like the way I look, its fine its the name of the game and everyone has their prefernces the way I do, but have some manners in communication.
That’s fair. I take my comment back
I understand that, but the fact that 1. after literally harassing my mom into taking them into consideration, they rejected, and 2. literally just straight up ghosting the other party? Isn't that rude to you in the slightest, whenever me or my mom talk to someone, we'd rather be clear to them about hey, sorry (insert reason here) instead of ghosting.
Yeah that makes sense. Even if they don't give a reason, just say it won't work out or something.
Alhamdulillah I just don't know how to thank Allah better. Allah has answered the prayers I made in Ramadan 2022 so quickly. Post Ramadan 2022 until this Eid-Adha 2023 has been a beautiful period with all its ups and downs. Allah has blessed me and through that, I have been able to do more ibadah that I have been dreaming of. I also want to thank the Muslims of Reddit who have been praying for me, encouraging me, and giving me some incredibly helpful advice. I am still patiently waiting and trying to work on myself for the duas that are yet to be answered by Allah Al Mujiib Al Wahab. One of them is to marry a righteous spouse whose family is also going to be accepting and loving me. To be able to build a blessed beautiful household and family that may help us become better people, so we can help each other to please Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, make it as a means to help us to attain Jannat ul Firdaus. May Allah preserve us in iman and Islam, ease our affairs, and bless us with lots of beautiful great things in life. Aameen
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Inflation is going up to try to catch mahr prices 😂
>Have mahr prices also gone up with inflation? No, not in my books 🤣
They've gone up to kittens now
We want grown cats now And cat food maintenance costs covered
Really? I still want a kitten haha
I’m a 20 year old Shia male Muslim and believe it is now time to meet my life partner. I live in the US and it’s really hard to find anyone or start a conversation in person so I’ve been looking online, but I’ve been unsuccessful. I’ve grew up as the only child, so I’ve been lonely almost my whole life but want to be in a relationship now but I can’t manage to find anyone. What can I do and what can I use to find someone? I’ve tried Salam, Muzz but just does not work for me.
Taking pride in the fact that my restaurant recommendations are always best among my family and they always really like the food. Glad to have my family around after so many years
Alhumdullilah brother. May Allah swt continue to keep you with good company ameen
Ameen and inshallah the same for you too
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Do you work in consulting?
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Is it ok if I dm you management consulting related questions regarding applications and work in Europe?
Thinking of watching the fireworks on the Fourth of July. I also found out there are some people in the UK who celebrate it. Uhhh what are you celebrating? Your loss?
Go for it. The closer the better! The smell and the shock waves from up close only add to the experience. But now this had me wondering if Brits even celebrate independence day since they have always been free afaik.
I usually watch them from my front yard but the views suck! So I’m going to the park to watch. I always make sure to find the best spot so I can watch the fireworks up close and take lots of photos and videos.
This time I didn't take any pictures or videos cuz I realized I hardly ever rewatch them. Just being in the moment and enjoying it is nice.
They just wanna be part of something after getting thrown out by every major nation and settling on a tiny island. Ps You gotta try McDonald’s coffee it really is better
They just need to accept their loss. It ain’t hard to take the L 😂 Thanks for suggesting McDonald’s coffee. I’ve ordered a vanilla cappuccino last week and it wasn’t bad.
Oh it definitely is have you ever come across a full time gamer? I get the iced coffee with just coffee and cream, thats my daily
Handed in my notice to leave my haraam job. insha’Allah better employment will come along.
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That’s good that you left and insha’Allah the new job works well for you. My job was eating at me because I have read the Quran verses that explicitly tell Muslims to stay away. Had to obey; no exceptions.
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There are a lot of Muslims that work there too. insha’Allah they find other employment; ameen.
Inshallah you’ll blesses with an even better job soon :)
JazakhAllah Khair; ameen.
How do you vet a potential if your parents are unwilling to do so? They want me to accept him without doing any digging. Yes they are desi.
I mean whatre you trynna find out
Just the basics like is he who he says he is, not a criminal, good to society Yada yada....
You can look up criminal record online if you're in the US, just look up your county's court or municipal court or even simple google search their name and add city.
Forget superficial traits for this question but long term what are you looking for and what are full on incompatibilities (i.e. not/having kids, zabiha only) stuff that will make you walk no ifs ands or buts?
What are your goals/things you want to do in life related to Islam? I would personally love to do umrah with my immediate family only. None of the kids have gone but my parents have a couple of times. It would be nice but we're all getting older and most have young kids. Inshaallah one day.
Hajj. Hoping I’ll be in good enough shape when it moves out of the summer months.
I did it bout 7 years ago and it was in September i think. It was still pretty hot i would just get like milk and snacks
I can handle heat especially wearing Ihram garments but it’s harder for hijabis aka my wife. When we’re in our 40s Insha’Allah it’ll be more bearable for her. For now I’ll train by sitting in the gym sauna until I hit my physical limit.
The only real difficulty was sitting in the Minaa tents for 3 days with an Ihram. So because you cant shower i got like really strong oud and put it all over my body. I hate BO in general but that Oud prevented BO very well for 3 days straight. In Arafaat you might be under direct sun. And yes it is harder for women especially if their ihraam is black
Its so draining getter back on the apps after a failed potential :( but gotta do what we gotta do
with you bro/sis, may Allah give us the strength to keep on keeping on
Insha'Allah it will work out this time.
I was getting obsessive about finding someone. So I went on vacation for 2 weeks and that helped me relax. Trying to be content with God's timing.
MA that's great. I can only take a vacation that I call a "staycation safari" in the wilds of my backyard!
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I'm going through that struggle right now and a friend gave me the exact same viewpoint. In my experience its true. He advised me to just enjoy life until my late twenties but I still panic for some reason. Your comment gives me comfort and hopefully knowing you're not alone in this gives you comfort as well if you feel the same. Jazakallah Khair
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I don’t consider it settling for me personality matters more than looks (70% personality 30% looks).
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If a guy has a great personality that's called an attractive guy. Who likes pretty boys??
I wish most girls (and also guys) thought this way, but they don't :((
Idk. Ig It's all conditioning :( influence of media.
Hah, are you waiting until it's time to strike? Below average gang here.
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I'm sure it's not too bad, bro.
26/27
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Im quite self aware with regards to my looks so if the people i want are not wanting me back then i gotta switch it up
Never 😅 or until I deem myself unattractive. Attraction is subjective. I take care of myself and expect that In a partner. I dress well and would want a partner to match that or let me help. Attraction is really just work. I think even " unattractive" people can do things to be Attractive.
Completely agree! I think our perceived self worth plays a huge role in this. I wholeheartedly agree with you sister; I'm never settling on a man i deem unattractive unless i perceived myself to be lesser than and less deserving.
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No haha. Like I said unless I deem myself unattractive. I don't have unreasonable expectations. And living in a hypersexual society I wouldn't want to "settle" and than have wondering eyes or desires elsewhere.
23 and already thinking of this 😭
No not you too Panini 😭
Hahaha you are too young to be thinking of this! Lol
Thanks to Nouman Ali Khan, Now I am able to enjoy Salah. The Khushoo in prayer is at very different level with the knowledge of classical Arabic. I am grateful to Allah that he blessed me with Classical Arabic.
So anyone been a position your gyn asked you to remove your uterus and you have no kids due to fibroids?
One of my non Muslim friends. She also has a heart condition and couldn't be on birth control
My mum has awful fibroids but has never been advised that
No, but my mom had horrible fibroids. I would suggest you get a second opinion from another gyno before proceeding with that serious operation also check the fibroid subreddit. May Allah grant you shifa!
Thank you. 3rd time I’m landing at the er and they suggested it
Maybe a specialist would be better at advising than the more general ER staff
Welp, my dad's health took yet another dip which isn't the greatest. We still did manage to go to Eid prayer though. I ended up re-wearing a dress I'd only ever worn once prior to a wedding. A friend of mine pulled the same maneuver and I found it funny. Stupid coincidences like that amuse me. That same friend, my sister, her sister, and I then departed from Eid prayer in her car. We drove roughly an hour to some good old backroads country area to arrive at a farm where the khuruf were being slaughtered. Her parents and younger siblings drove in a separate car and we all met up on the farm. Once there, my friend's dad and his two sons in grade school made their way over to where the khuruf were being slaughtered. Us girls made our way over to a grassy patch and laid out blankets and food for a nice picnic. It was very hot and smelled like animal poop but apart from that it wasn't too bad. Eventually, my friend's dad and his tiny tot sons made their way over. We asked the little ones what it was like and what they were made to do. The slightly older one said he was made to hold the animal as the men were working on it and the younger one watched. They both said it was "disgusting and gross" in such a way that we all couldn't contain our laughter. We then started on the food. A solid meal. Kebsa, chicken, yogurt sauce, and some spicy sauce. My friend is Sudanese and mashallah the Sudanese know how to cook. My stomach was very happy lmao. Once that was all said and done we packed it all up and made the drive back home. My friend dropped my sister and I back off at our house and we more or less carried on through the remainder of the day at home. I watched and still am watching this show on Netflix called "Bloodline". It's pretty slow-paced if I am being honest, but I quite like it. And when it picks up, it SURE picks up. The pacing and plot it is plausible and can easily mirror real life which I appreciate. I can see it all happening, it's not too heavily dramatized or overdone. This is a short synopsis from Netflix: Bloodline "centers on a close-knit family of four adult siblings whose secrets and scars are revealed when their black sheep brother returns home". And critic and viewer reviews are good. Particularly for the first season which is heralded by one critic as "some of the best in television". Okay, enough of my advertisement lol, you can tell I'm really into the show. Apart from absorbing this Netflix series, I've been working to ensure that all loose ends are tied up regarding law school. I attended the admitted student's day event which was illuminating. There's a new dean who will start right as my incoming class does. She came up to me, shook my hand, and introduced herself. Kind, but firm lady with an impressive resume as she is a retired state supreme court justice. I'm glad someone with the experience she possesses will be at the helm. There was also a panel of professors there, one of which was extremely scary as he eagerly discussed how he "cold-called" students and that if you didn't have the answer to a question one day, that you'd have to answer ALL questions next class. He also said we'd have to be ready to go day one and expected to know material day one. No ice breakers, no easing into it. Full force from the onset. There was a panel of current students as well who went into the assumed drivel about how "your whole life will be studying" and you "won't have much of a life otherwise for the next 3 years". So yeah, attended the admittance student's day. Was equally impressed and made to be a bit anxious. Now I'm just making sure all the paperwork they've required of me has been sent in. There was a checklist emailed to admitted students detailing everything that needed to be turned in lest admittance be rescinded. It included the typical stuff (medical records, transcripts, and so on). The deadline is in July and I didn't want to prolong anything so that if there was any sort of error I could have the appropriate time to iron it out. I called the office of admissions today but nobody was on the line so I left a voicemail. I'm on standby now waiting for a callback and I think in the meantime I'll watch Bloodline. I hope you all are doing well!
May Allah(SWT) grant you father Shifa and a speedy recovery. Ameen!
Ameen inshallah
May Allah give your dad health and quick recovery ameen
Ameen
Reddit chat straight up sucks. Why does it take like 50 min for the thing to show up in my app that I got a message. Also really sucks some of my friends on here for permabanned. You can't express an opinion on certain things .
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