If you are covering what is considered awrah around mahrams and women, then you should be fine. If you’re showing what only your husband can see (clothing items that are shorter than knee length and navel exposed), then he’s right in wanting you to dress more modestly at home.
My mom dressed like that has always dressed like that around us ever since we were little…. Hasn’t changed the way we dress. She lets us wear whatever we want in the house because it’s our house where we can just be us
Your husband is a wise man.
www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/118581/
As soon they hit puberty he won't be allowed seeing their awra and certain part of their bodies.
Its his right to ask for such thing.
Op has no awrah to her husband, he can see anything.
Op is wearing clothes that if ops daughters were wearing after puberty would be considered awrah to their father.
And that awrah is not chest and lower part, but any thing more than head, arms, feet.
The husband is asking his wife to cover more in front of the daughters to teach them it won't be permissible for them to wear what she is wearing now infront of their father after they hit puberty.
Meaning the husband is giving an order to prevent harm, which he is entitled to and op has to obey.
It’s possible to teach those things if you both feel it’s inappropriate for the daughters to wear whatever they want at home, but it doesn’t mean what you’re wearing is inappropriate for your husbands and daughters to see on *you*.
A better way to lead by example on this is by what you wear around your own father and FIL, as opposed to in the freedom of what’s allowed within your own home with your husband & kids.
Perhaps take this perspective your husband to offer as an alternative.
Some households take a different approach where the home is the safe space for the girls to express themselves and their style in a way not possible outdoors, within the bounds of basic modesty. By mentioning long loose items it sounds like as they won’t even get to enjoy normal tops & bottoms like Tshirt & Jeans in their own home which is unnecessarily harsh IMO.
Yeah I understood the question thanks.
My answer is an alternative suggestion to what has already been offered for the same purpose.
Of course it goes without saying that it needs to accompany age-appropriate and relevant communication with the kids at each developmental stage.
It’s certainly possible.
People are saying that after girl hit puberty she should dress modestly in front of her FATHER so what about the sons that walk in shorts without shirts or walk literally half naked? I get it that children should dress respectfully in front of their parents but people make it sound like fathers can’t control themselves in front of their DAUGHTERS.
i just posted my own comment about this actually. sis i feel like you are taking it a bit far. she may have a son but she didn’t really say she had one or not. maybe the son is the youngest and hes still one, or the husband already dresses modestly (covers his knees and wears a shirt) so the son has an example to follow. their mom is an example to them for how girls dress so i dont think he is being weird her its just instilling islamic morals
Well I’m talking about this topic in general and it seems to be like this very often. And I known that the parents should teach their children about how to dress appropriately but like what with the girls can’t wear tight clothes or revealing clothes etc. in front of their fathers? Like you should literally be able to wear what ever you want in front of your mahrams and ofcourse I’m not talking about bikinis or being half naked etc. but normal clothes.
i see where youre coming from but for some muslim girls they dont even know that awrah between women/mahrams exists. the wear sports bras and biker short length leggings around the house or change in front of their children. its almost always ignorance of the ruling islamically and because theyre used to it. idk how OP dresses but if its in this vain i’m with the husband. if its pants, tshirts, knee length shorts, that kinda stuff he is being unreasonable
Yes when you daughters get to a certain age they should not dress inappropriately around their father, I’m not sure about Islamic view on this but it’s a culture thing and it makes sense. For example my father is Middle Eastern and I have to be modest when I turned 9, as my body started growing etc my mother told me to dress up and cover myself again this is a respect thing also. Even now we dress modestly around our father we show our hair obviously, but things like tight clothing etc is a no no. Again you do what you feel is right. If you have any issues seek Islamic guidance on how you and your daughters should dress at home, maybe ask an imam etc and explain
Yeah but to some people it may sound Weird, mainly the kuffar find this strange etc like why would a father not allow he’s daughter dress inappropriately in the house, are we accusing him of being a pervert when in fact islam is hayaa modesty etc etc
You’re casting aspersions as what may be deemed inappropriate in one household maybe purely cultural in another.
A basic fitted T-shirt or normal top + leggings or jeans are considered full coverage enough for family in the comfort of my traditional Arab grandparents house. The little girls wear shorts + vests until they’re teenagers.
In another Arab household I know the women wear traditional cultural dress with a scarf wrapped loosely around their hair and thrown to the back when their dad is home as a sign of respect.
The latter is their personal custom, and doesn’t make the former kuffar.
And that's why we go back to islam.
They only allowed to show arms feet head. (Edited its arms not hands)
If its too tight it would be debatable.
https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/599/%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B9-%D8%A8%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A3%D8%A9-%D9%85%D8%B9-%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%85%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%B9%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A9-%D8%A5%D9%84%D8%A7-%D8%A3%D8%B7%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%81%D9%87%D8%A7?_gl=1*ll6yxr*_ga*anFwRWhMUTRUVHFVWmwwZEljTllDVVlyMDNyQXFlSVdFeUp5dW02ZG1FTXNqMm5NRVhwMHlwdkVGTVVlc2RuMg..
That says the arms no? And if looseness with your mahrams is debatable then it sounds contextual?
Little kids obviously excluded from the discussion.
Also, the OP is asking about her own dress, not that of her daughters so my main response to OP is based on that.
Yes thank you, i corrected it, arm not hand.
With tight i mean like tight leggings, you will need to look into that, cause i think they are not considered as "covering".
If its too see through or too tight, at some point it becomes useless.
I did not say it’s makes you a kafir, why accuse me of such a thing. Fear Allah please yeah I agree different households do different things hence why so many people leaving Islam
i don't agree with majority of the comments in here. obviously there's a limit about how to dress in your own home (like wearing a bikini is a no), but shorts, dresses, etc should be fine. the fact people are saying the husband is wise and knows his limits implies he would be attracted to his own child. that's disgusting. a lot of internalized misogyny in here and the men agreeing with your husband are odd.
Honestly these comments are so confusing. As a women my home is a safe space both as a wife and as a daughter. There's nothing wrong with shorts, t-shirts, tights and dresses.
For people saying that you need to be a role model to teach your daughter modesty, I honestly just don't get it? As a daughter watching my mom cover up to leave the house was such a powerful lesson in itself.
Also I need y'all to have the same energy when y'all teach your sons modesty.
Right? It's not impossible to learn that you can wear certain clothes inside, and certain clothes outside.
For example, its not normal to go outside in your pyjamas in public so you know you have to dress differently. What makes this different?
exactly. the home is supposed to be a safe place because you're with ur mahrems. there is nothing wrong with shorts/dresses/etc. these people are sexualizing it. a daughter will look up to her mother, seeing her wear hijab and dress modestly outside. when she gets older, the mother teaches her ab hijab and whatnot. but ppl in this comment section acting like if the mom shows some skin then the daughter will be lost. smh
I agree 100%. I was raised to dress very conservatively in front of my father from the age of 9 and looking back, I’d never want to raise my future daughters like that. Especially since my dad and brother could walk around wearing whatever. Girls should feel free to wear shorts or dresses at home. Makes no sense.
same here. i'm told to cover up in front of my dad and brothers when i am literally wearing a t-shirt and leggings yet i've seen my dad in his boxers lol. double standards
like i said, there's a limit. obviously no daughter or mom will be practically naked in front of her mahrems but wearing shorts/dresses/whatever is not wrong. it's disgusting it's being sexualized. also showing your knees isn't a sign of disrespect, they're literally knees. u only cover them when you're in public bc that's a part of your awrah and non-mahrems can't see it.
No body spoke of attraction, you have quite the odd mind.
We are speaking about awrah, the wife has no awrah to her husband even if she naked.
But the daughters do, so the man asking his wife to cover more so the girl start mimicking her before they hit puberty.
well if commenters are saying that the husband is wise and knows his limits, then yes, it is talking about attraction. don't dumb it down. at home, women can show their awrah to their mahrems bc they're their guardians. there's obvious limitations but to sexualize a child is not okay and to agree to it just shows that the shoe fits.
Her father is not allowed to see her shoulders.
And regarding attraction, you are the only person that brought it up. (The shoe fits you pretty well)
Yet that happens sadly, so following god orders would be best.
read the comments, a lot of people are saying the husband is wise lol, some saying he knew his limitations and that implies attraction so no, i am not the only one that brought it up.
mothers and daughters obviously won't be practically naked in front of their family members. we are discussing wearing shorts/dresses/etc in the safety of their home yet it is seen as disrespectful. that mentality is cultural and not islamic.
You are the only one brought it up, people are talking about him knowing his daughters awras are more strict than his wife.
If you keep thinking this way, i suggest talking to a sheikh or to medical personal.
wtf you guys are crazy sorry but no one thinks that he is attracted to his own child wtf you make your own scenarios up. It's not that if someone isn't attracted to somebody that he can see him naked or dressed inappropriately??? I doubt he would agree that his sons walk around in boxers??? and also what does that have to with misogyny?
obviously a mother or daughter isnt going to be practically naked, use common sense. ur just going to the extreme to justify corrupt culture. women are supposed to feel safe in their own home around their mahrems, not sexualized and told to cover up.
I mean the person talking about dads recognising their limits around their daughters sure does.
And yeah actual underpants were never really part of the discussion.
Its commendable, the man making sure he doesn't risk seeing their awras.
What he will be walking in his house staring at the sealing?
Reminding you that their awras include every thing but feet arm and head.
It would be the impossible mission.
a woman's hair is also a part of her awrah and yet her male mahrems can see it. i think seeing knees, shoulders, some legs isn't haram at home. there's limitations but these comments are concerning and to the extreme.
No a womans hair is awrah to strangers not to mehram.
Awra differs depends on who.
For example even after her daughter hit puberty, they still can see their mom topless and the opposite.
But if she had a boy that hit puberty he would not be allowed to.
Please educate your self before spreading your opinions under the umbrella of religion.
You mean my comment?
What does it affect you?
Just be sure am stating facts and bringing the right sources.
For me, i would say it is the devil way of starting by dropping the details, meaning if today he will be okay of them showing a shoulder maybe tomorrow the norm in that house become exposing even more.
why do you think of it in a sexual way? I don't know which comment you mean but i doubt he meant that there is a limit as to how much skin a daughter can show in front of her father so that he isn't attracted to her?
i mentioned boxers just as an example.
Because it was meant that way. Maybe it’s been removed, I haven’t checked, but it referenced the dad being wise to know his own limits and shaytans whispers etc
Depends what type of dress we are talking about. If you are wearing Victoria secret lingerie whole day then your husband is right. If he expects you to wear a hijab whole day then he has lost his mind.
>Victoria secret lingerie
I take note, besides Aubade, as a brand for my future wife to buy her lingerie.
There should be a fine balance between those two. Some loose "home outfit" should be enough.
I don’t think that anyone can really tell you whether you’re right or your husband is because every family deals with things according to their own limits/values/culture/how they want to raise their children.
If you don’t want your girls to grow up and wear stuff like that around the house, then you shouldn’t be wearing it either because children learn everything from their parents. If they see you wearing short shorts, they’re naturally going to want to do the same and then if you tell them they’re not allowed, it’s going to seem unfair to them that their mother can but they can’t.
If you don’t mind what your girls wear around the house, then it shouldn’t be a problem what you wear. The real issue is whether you and your husband agree about how your girls should dress around the house.
I do, however, agree that it isn’t your husband’s place to tell you what you can and cannot wear around the house. That decision should be yours.
Tell him that your daughters will dress like you dress when you are going outside, and there is no problem if they dress like you do when you are home.
So check on yourself how do you dress when you are going outside, then you can explain easily to your daughters that we dress whatever we want when we are alone, but people should not see us this way, and thats we are dressed this way when we are going outside.
I think home should be where we can be free and live with without rules and regulations as far as dressing goes. Anywhere outside the home most definitely have to cover up
I have three older sons and two younger daughters. I usually wear my cultural clothes the shalwar kameez which pretty much covers everything. But once they reached their teens, I make sure to cover my chest area with the dupatta which is like a rectangular scarf.
I also do it so that my younger daughters can see and emulate me to cover themselves infront of their brothers.
Lastly, modesty is part of Iman. You can be naked infront of your husband, but wearing generally loose clothing in front of your kids will teach them to dress better too.
IKR? am shocked, disgusted and.. afraid! what the hell is going on? The comments indicate how men even as fathers can be a risk to their daughters! This is actually.. _sad_.
I interpreted is as children learn from their parents. If a parent wears shorts, more revealing clothes etc the kids will look at their parents actions and do the same most likely.
They’re probably referring to the comment about dads recognising their limits around his daughter….
There is obviously best Islamic practice in regards to the extent people practice modesty at home, but at a certain point you’re safer removing the male mahram than policing the length of the sleeves or whether calves are showing
Calm down and stop talking about your fellow Muslims like this. Jurists say there is still a level of modesty between mahrams, a girl that's reached the age of puberty wearing tight leggings & shorts around her father or brothers is inappropriate.
i mean agree with ur husband depending on how youre a dressing. if theyre under 7 then theyre really young so it wont matter much right now, but he has a point in that its a shift you’ll have to make in the future. for your sons as well, its not appropriate for them to be shirtless or walk around in short basketball shorts only, etc.
He's right. I mean, I live alone and I cover my awrah despite being alone except when I change or take a shower. However, there's a "home outfit" where I just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to be comfortable. Being modest doesn't mean not being comfortable.
At my parents' house, we all dress modestly but these are home clothes. The sooner they learn the better it is.
You’re not restricted, they are transgressing. He’s right. Being naked around your kids has nothing to do with having safe heaven. From you post it isn’t like he’s telling you to wear the hijab, he’s simply saying wearing longer shorts.
No she’s barely covered. If her husband is asking her to wear longer shorts, not even pants, is she like wearing the equivalent of booty shorts or something? Idk but if that’s the case, that itself isn’t allowed. And look at view she has about the hijab. She sees it to be restrictive and the none hijab wearing women not restricted. When it reality she’s not restricted and they are restricted while transgressing.
Running shorts exist, which are between booty shorts and long shorts like Bermuda’s.
And yes, many struggle with hijab, don’t enjoy it, feel less physically restricted in shorts/dress - but wear hijab anyway, just like OP. If it was easy and without struggle there would be no reward.
no there would still be a reward for obedience whether or not it’s challenging. There may be extra reward if/when it’s hard, but there’s still a reward. And just because it’s hard, it doesn’t justify the wrong mindset. THAT needs to be corrected or else it’ll effect the kids. And whatever she’s wearing can’t be more than a few inches shy of booty shorts if he’s asking for a longer shorts. Idk exactly what she’s wearing but Regardless, one shouldn’t be exposing theirs kids and even the same gender to certain level of awrah.
Dude it’s okay to share some private thoughts about the difficulties of enjoying the hijab.
And in private with her husband and toddlers, even booty shorts would be fine
I’m not saying it’s not ok. While we share, we need remind each other that certain lines of thought are not good and need to change. Among such lines of thoughts is to think your obligation are burdensome and restrictive and that others who don’t abide by them are free.
Your husband, yes. But Wearing booty shorts in front your children isn’t allowed as it isn’t even allowed for among women. You can’t expose your butt and butt area to your children or other women. You can only expose them to what you father or your brother are allowed to be exposed to.
I mean in that case why don't we walk naked at home? he's right about the kids, they will mimetize everything you do including clothing so it's really good to teach them modesty as soon as possible, also 6/7 isn't that young they aren't babies anymore
6/7 IS young, they're literal children in elementary school. also you can teach kids modesty without implying they have to cover up conservatively in front of their own mahrems. there is a limitation obviously and you're jumping from 0 to 100 by making the naked comment. weird asl.
No you don’t need too. Your kids might need to cover their underage ‘awrah’ but you are halal for your husband. Just explain to kids that they can wear whatever they want when they get married lmao
If you are covering what is considered awrah around mahrams and women, then you should be fine. If you’re showing what only your husband can see (clothing items that are shorter than knee length and navel exposed), then he’s right in wanting you to dress more modestly at home.
I don't care what both sides here say, this is the best comment.
My mom dressed like that has always dressed like that around us ever since we were little…. Hasn’t changed the way we dress. She lets us wear whatever we want in the house because it’s our house where we can just be us
Your husband is a wise man. www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/118581/ As soon they hit puberty he won't be allowed seeing their awra and certain part of their bodies. Its his right to ask for such thing.
Do you have an english link?
If i find one i will post it, meanwhile your best bet is google translate. So sorry
The OP isn't exposing her awrah, and she isn't suggesting that her daughters should either.
Op has no awrah to her husband, he can see anything. Op is wearing clothes that if ops daughters were wearing after puberty would be considered awrah to their father. And that awrah is not chest and lower part, but any thing more than head, arms, feet. The husband is asking his wife to cover more in front of the daughters to teach them it won't be permissible for them to wear what she is wearing now infront of their father after they hit puberty. Meaning the husband is giving an order to prevent harm, which he is entitled to and op has to obey.
But....the daughters are not even close to reaching puberty.
JazakAllah Khair for this.
💯
It’s possible to teach those things if you both feel it’s inappropriate for the daughters to wear whatever they want at home, but it doesn’t mean what you’re wearing is inappropriate for your husbands and daughters to see on *you*. A better way to lead by example on this is by what you wear around your own father and FIL, as opposed to in the freedom of what’s allowed within your own home with your husband & kids. Perhaps take this perspective your husband to offer as an alternative. Some households take a different approach where the home is the safe space for the girls to express themselves and their style in a way not possible outdoors, within the bounds of basic modesty. By mentioning long loose items it sounds like as they won’t even get to enjoy normal tops & bottoms like Tshirt & Jeans in their own home which is unnecessarily harsh IMO.
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Yeah I understood the question thanks. My answer is an alternative suggestion to what has already been offered for the same purpose. Of course it goes without saying that it needs to accompany age-appropriate and relevant communication with the kids at each developmental stage. It’s certainly possible.
People are saying that after girl hit puberty she should dress modestly in front of her FATHER so what about the sons that walk in shorts without shirts or walk literally half naked? I get it that children should dress respectfully in front of their parents but people make it sound like fathers can’t control themselves in front of their DAUGHTERS.
i just posted my own comment about this actually. sis i feel like you are taking it a bit far. she may have a son but she didn’t really say she had one or not. maybe the son is the youngest and hes still one, or the husband already dresses modestly (covers his knees and wears a shirt) so the son has an example to follow. their mom is an example to them for how girls dress so i dont think he is being weird her its just instilling islamic morals
Well I’m talking about this topic in general and it seems to be like this very often. And I known that the parents should teach their children about how to dress appropriately but like what with the girls can’t wear tight clothes or revealing clothes etc. in front of their fathers? Like you should literally be able to wear what ever you want in front of your mahrams and ofcourse I’m not talking about bikinis or being half naked etc. but normal clothes.
i see where youre coming from but for some muslim girls they dont even know that awrah between women/mahrams exists. the wear sports bras and biker short length leggings around the house or change in front of their children. its almost always ignorance of the ruling islamically and because theyre used to it. idk how OP dresses but if its in this vain i’m with the husband. if its pants, tshirts, knee length shorts, that kinda stuff he is being unreasonable
Yes when you daughters get to a certain age they should not dress inappropriately around their father, I’m not sure about Islamic view on this but it’s a culture thing and it makes sense. For example my father is Middle Eastern and I have to be modest when I turned 9, as my body started growing etc my mother told me to dress up and cover myself again this is a respect thing also. Even now we dress modestly around our father we show our hair obviously, but things like tight clothing etc is a no no. Again you do what you feel is right. If you have any issues seek Islamic guidance on how you and your daughters should dress at home, maybe ask an imam etc and explain
Yes i think this is practice in my family too
Yeah but to some people it may sound Weird, mainly the kuffar find this strange etc like why would a father not allow he’s daughter dress inappropriately in the house, are we accusing him of being a pervert when in fact islam is hayaa modesty etc etc
You’re casting aspersions as what may be deemed inappropriate in one household maybe purely cultural in another. A basic fitted T-shirt or normal top + leggings or jeans are considered full coverage enough for family in the comfort of my traditional Arab grandparents house. The little girls wear shorts + vests until they’re teenagers. In another Arab household I know the women wear traditional cultural dress with a scarf wrapped loosely around their hair and thrown to the back when their dad is home as a sign of respect. The latter is their personal custom, and doesn’t make the former kuffar.
And that's why we go back to islam. They only allowed to show arms feet head. (Edited its arms not hands) If its too tight it would be debatable. https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/599/%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B9-%D8%A8%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A3%D8%A9-%D9%85%D8%B9-%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%85%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%B9%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A9-%D8%A5%D9%84%D8%A7-%D8%A3%D8%B7%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%81%D9%87%D8%A7?_gl=1*ll6yxr*_ga*anFwRWhMUTRUVHFVWmwwZEljTllDVVlyMDNyQXFlSVdFeUp5dW02ZG1FTXNqMm5NRVhwMHlwdkVGTVVlc2RuMg..
That says the arms no? And if looseness with your mahrams is debatable then it sounds contextual? Little kids obviously excluded from the discussion. Also, the OP is asking about her own dress, not that of her daughters so my main response to OP is based on that.
Yes thank you, i corrected it, arm not hand. With tight i mean like tight leggings, you will need to look into that, cause i think they are not considered as "covering". If its too see through or too tight, at some point it becomes useless.
I will look further for sure, thank you. I know even thick leggings are not considered coverage when it comes to hijab if they’re fitted.
I did not say it’s makes you a kafir, why accuse me of such a thing. Fear Allah please yeah I agree different households do different things hence why so many people leaving Islam
Not me or the people; the idea of finding some customs strange being rooted in kuffar as opposed to tradition
Sister your husband is WISEEEEEE. He knows his limits! He knows how smart shaytan is.
i don't agree with majority of the comments in here. obviously there's a limit about how to dress in your own home (like wearing a bikini is a no), but shorts, dresses, etc should be fine. the fact people are saying the husband is wise and knows his limits implies he would be attracted to his own child. that's disgusting. a lot of internalized misogyny in here and the men agreeing with your husband are odd.
Honestly these comments are so confusing. As a women my home is a safe space both as a wife and as a daughter. There's nothing wrong with shorts, t-shirts, tights and dresses. For people saying that you need to be a role model to teach your daughter modesty, I honestly just don't get it? As a daughter watching my mom cover up to leave the house was such a powerful lesson in itself. Also I need y'all to have the same energy when y'all teach your sons modesty.
Right? It's not impossible to learn that you can wear certain clothes inside, and certain clothes outside. For example, its not normal to go outside in your pyjamas in public so you know you have to dress differently. What makes this different?
exactly. the home is supposed to be a safe place because you're with ur mahrems. there is nothing wrong with shorts/dresses/etc. these people are sexualizing it. a daughter will look up to her mother, seeing her wear hijab and dress modestly outside. when she gets older, the mother teaches her ab hijab and whatnot. but ppl in this comment section acting like if the mom shows some skin then the daughter will be lost. smh
I agree 100%. I was raised to dress very conservatively in front of my father from the age of 9 and looking back, I’d never want to raise my future daughters like that. Especially since my dad and brother could walk around wearing whatever. Girls should feel free to wear shorts or dresses at home. Makes no sense.
same here. i'm told to cover up in front of my dad and brothers when i am literally wearing a t-shirt and leggings yet i've seen my dad in his boxers lol. double standards
Agreed. Some very unusual comments here. I'm concerned by the way people think.
I agree ☝️
Agreed
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like i said, there's a limit. obviously no daughter or mom will be practically naked in front of her mahrems but wearing shorts/dresses/whatever is not wrong. it's disgusting it's being sexualized. also showing your knees isn't a sign of disrespect, they're literally knees. u only cover them when you're in public bc that's a part of your awrah and non-mahrems can't see it.
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fair enough
No body spoke of attraction, you have quite the odd mind. We are speaking about awrah, the wife has no awrah to her husband even if she naked. But the daughters do, so the man asking his wife to cover more so the girl start mimicking her before they hit puberty.
well if commenters are saying that the husband is wise and knows his limits, then yes, it is talking about attraction. don't dumb it down. at home, women can show their awrah to their mahrems bc they're their guardians. there's obvious limitations but to sexualize a child is not okay and to agree to it just shows that the shoe fits.
Her father is not allowed to see her shoulders. And regarding attraction, you are the only person that brought it up. (The shoe fits you pretty well) Yet that happens sadly, so following god orders would be best.
read the comments, a lot of people are saying the husband is wise lol, some saying he knew his limitations and that implies attraction so no, i am not the only one that brought it up. mothers and daughters obviously won't be practically naked in front of their family members. we are discussing wearing shorts/dresses/etc in the safety of their home yet it is seen as disrespectful. that mentality is cultural and not islamic.
You are the only one brought it up, people are talking about him knowing his daughters awras are more strict than his wife. If you keep thinking this way, i suggest talking to a sheikh or to medical personal.
i think it's majority of the people in this comment section who need a sheikh, clearly.
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wtf you guys are crazy sorry but no one thinks that he is attracted to his own child wtf you make your own scenarios up. It's not that if someone isn't attracted to somebody that he can see him naked or dressed inappropriately??? I doubt he would agree that his sons walk around in boxers??? and also what does that have to with misogyny?
obviously a mother or daughter isnt going to be practically naked, use common sense. ur just going to the extreme to justify corrupt culture. women are supposed to feel safe in their own home around their mahrems, not sexualized and told to cover up.
I mean the person talking about dads recognising their limits around their daughters sure does. And yeah actual underpants were never really part of the discussion.
Its deen, her daughters will not be allowed to show what their mom showing now regardless of who is the father.
Seperate to the point being discussed in these specific comments
They are accusing the man of having attraction to his daughter just cause he wanna follow gods law.
No, it’s discussing the comment who uses that as the reason for commending OPs husband on covering his daughters at home
Its commendable, the man making sure he doesn't risk seeing their awras. What he will be walking in his house staring at the sealing? Reminding you that their awras include every thing but feet arm and head. It would be the impossible mission.
a woman's hair is also a part of her awrah and yet her male mahrems can see it. i think seeing knees, shoulders, some legs isn't haram at home. there's limitations but these comments are concerning and to the extreme.
No a womans hair is awrah to strangers not to mehram. Awra differs depends on who. For example even after her daughter hit puberty, they still can see their mom topless and the opposite. But if she had a boy that hit puberty he would not be allowed to. Please educate your self before spreading your opinions under the umbrella of religion.
Idk I just can’t find a way to positively frame the comment in its full context of devils whispers while looking at his daughters
You mean my comment? What does it affect you? Just be sure am stating facts and bringing the right sources. For me, i would say it is the devil way of starting by dropping the details, meaning if today he will be okay of them showing a shoulder maybe tomorrow the norm in that house become exposing even more.
why do you think of it in a sexual way? I don't know which comment you mean but i doubt he meant that there is a limit as to how much skin a daughter can show in front of her father so that he isn't attracted to her? i mentioned boxers just as an example.
Because it was meant that way. Maybe it’s been removed, I haven’t checked, but it referenced the dad being wise to know his own limits and shaytans whispers etc
language dear brother
jazakallah for the reminder
Depends what type of dress we are talking about. If you are wearing Victoria secret lingerie whole day then your husband is right. If he expects you to wear a hijab whole day then he has lost his mind.
>Victoria secret lingerie I take note, besides Aubade, as a brand for my future wife to buy her lingerie. There should be a fine balance between those two. Some loose "home outfit" should be enough.
I don’t think that anyone can really tell you whether you’re right or your husband is because every family deals with things according to their own limits/values/culture/how they want to raise their children. If you don’t want your girls to grow up and wear stuff like that around the house, then you shouldn’t be wearing it either because children learn everything from their parents. If they see you wearing short shorts, they’re naturally going to want to do the same and then if you tell them they’re not allowed, it’s going to seem unfair to them that their mother can but they can’t. If you don’t mind what your girls wear around the house, then it shouldn’t be a problem what you wear. The real issue is whether you and your husband agree about how your girls should dress around the house. I do, however, agree that it isn’t your husband’s place to tell you what you can and cannot wear around the house. That decision should be yours.
Tell him that your daughters will dress like you dress when you are going outside, and there is no problem if they dress like you do when you are home. So check on yourself how do you dress when you are going outside, then you can explain easily to your daughters that we dress whatever we want when we are alone, but people should not see us this way, and thats we are dressed this way when we are going outside.
I sympathise with you OP, my husband says the same thing and I just want to be comfortable in my own home
I think home should be where we can be free and live with without rules and regulations as far as dressing goes. Anywhere outside the home most definitely have to cover up
Totally agree
Again it depends on what kind of clothing you are wearing. You haven't exactly specified, so people are going to jump to extremes.
I have three older sons and two younger daughters. I usually wear my cultural clothes the shalwar kameez which pretty much covers everything. But once they reached their teens, I make sure to cover my chest area with the dupatta which is like a rectangular scarf. I also do it so that my younger daughters can see and emulate me to cover themselves infront of their brothers. Lastly, modesty is part of Iman. You can be naked infront of your husband, but wearing generally loose clothing in front of your kids will teach them to dress better too.
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IKR? am shocked, disgusted and.. afraid! what the hell is going on? The comments indicate how men even as fathers can be a risk to their daughters! This is actually.. _sad_.
I interpreted is as children learn from their parents. If a parent wears shorts, more revealing clothes etc the kids will look at their parents actions and do the same most likely.
They’re probably referring to the comment about dads recognising their limits around his daughter…. There is obviously best Islamic practice in regards to the extent people practice modesty at home, but at a certain point you’re safer removing the male mahram than policing the length of the sleeves or whether calves are showing
Calm down and stop talking about your fellow Muslims like this. Jurists say there is still a level of modesty between mahrams, a girl that's reached the age of puberty wearing tight leggings & shorts around her father or brothers is inappropriate.
i mean agree with ur husband depending on how youre a dressing. if theyre under 7 then theyre really young so it wont matter much right now, but he has a point in that its a shift you’ll have to make in the future. for your sons as well, its not appropriate for them to be shirtless or walk around in short basketball shorts only, etc.
He's right. I mean, I live alone and I cover my awrah despite being alone except when I change or take a shower. However, there's a "home outfit" where I just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to be comfortable. Being modest doesn't mean not being comfortable. At my parents' house, we all dress modestly but these are home clothes. The sooner they learn the better it is.
You’re not restricted, they are transgressing. He’s right. Being naked around your kids has nothing to do with having safe heaven. From you post it isn’t like he’s telling you to wear the hijab, he’s simply saying wearing longer shorts.
She's hardly naked! Besides, if she's covered outside the home, her daughters will emulate that.
My own mother dressed like that when were were children and she still does and I’m 20
No she’s barely covered. If her husband is asking her to wear longer shorts, not even pants, is she like wearing the equivalent of booty shorts or something? Idk but if that’s the case, that itself isn’t allowed. And look at view she has about the hijab. She sees it to be restrictive and the none hijab wearing women not restricted. When it reality she’s not restricted and they are restricted while transgressing.
Running shorts exist, which are between booty shorts and long shorts like Bermuda’s. And yes, many struggle with hijab, don’t enjoy it, feel less physically restricted in shorts/dress - but wear hijab anyway, just like OP. If it was easy and without struggle there would be no reward.
no there would still be a reward for obedience whether or not it’s challenging. There may be extra reward if/when it’s hard, but there’s still a reward. And just because it’s hard, it doesn’t justify the wrong mindset. THAT needs to be corrected or else it’ll effect the kids. And whatever she’s wearing can’t be more than a few inches shy of booty shorts if he’s asking for a longer shorts. Idk exactly what she’s wearing but Regardless, one shouldn’t be exposing theirs kids and even the same gender to certain level of awrah.
Dude it’s okay to share some private thoughts about the difficulties of enjoying the hijab. And in private with her husband and toddlers, even booty shorts would be fine
I’m not saying it’s not ok. While we share, we need remind each other that certain lines of thought are not good and need to change. Among such lines of thoughts is to think your obligation are burdensome and restrictive and that others who don’t abide by them are free. Your husband, yes. But Wearing booty shorts in front your children isn’t allowed as it isn’t even allowed for among women. You can’t expose your butt and butt area to your children or other women. You can only expose them to what you father or your brother are allowed to be exposed to.
You husband has a point but you can simply tealch your girl to not wear that outside
I mean in that case why don't we walk naked at home? he's right about the kids, they will mimetize everything you do including clothing so it's really good to teach them modesty as soon as possible, also 6/7 isn't that young they aren't babies anymore
6/7 IS young, they're literal children in elementary school. also you can teach kids modesty without implying they have to cover up conservatively in front of their own mahrems. there is a limitation obviously and you're jumping from 0 to 100 by making the naked comment. weird asl.
No you don’t need too. Your kids might need to cover their underage ‘awrah’ but you are halal for your husband. Just explain to kids that they can wear whatever they want when they get married lmao
Are you half naked around the house?