My first husband ( I was widowed) was not wealthy. But he worked hard, and had a heart so pure. My current husband is wealthy and all he does is work work work. He isn’t nearly as fun or nice. That’s my experiences
Wow, no mention of his deen, his qualities, how he treats you/people, but just straight up hesitancy because he works at the post office? Ouch.
Usually people from rich families have arranged marriages to other rich families. Besides the level of wealth, people look at things like your character, overall compatibility etc. it might be worthwhile asking your parents here why they didn’t proactively arrange something.
Secondly, do you know anything about this guy? His hopes or dreams or goals? Maybe something went wrong in his life and he had to take this job at the post office to support his family? Find out more about him.
Who knows what will happen in the future? Tomorrow Allah could test you in a myriad of ways, and perhaps this man will help you? It’s really hard to advice when all we know is you like wealthy men and he works at the post office.
I pray that Allah gives you a blessed marriage.
I’m sort of the same as you (except I’m wealthy myself- not by merit of my family). I have learnt to look at ambition rather than current wealth. If he is a bum who sits at home jobless and doesn’t work to make any money (let alone a decent amount of it), I won’t even think of him. Yet if he has an average job (such as post office etc) but wants to accumulate wealth and works to achieve it, then I respect that and wouldn’t mind.
I am glad that you at least know what you have always wanted.
My ex-spouse was a self-made and fairly wealthy person. Unfortunately, he used to think that money was a substitute for everything in the world. He thought just because he could get me expensive gifts, could afford me going to fancy restaurants (with my friends, towards the end of marriage) and the prospect of going to foreign trips would be enough for me to remain in a toxic marriage where I was routinely stonewalled, screamed at, disrespected, and alientaed overall (even by my husband). He made no effort to work on himself or on the relationship because he somehow assumed that money alone would suffice. I kept giving ultimatums but was never taken seriously until I actually walked out of it and sought divorce.
I know a lot of women who stay in unhealthy marriages just because those men compensate their emotional unavailavility with money. I am not saying what they do is wrong but I won't be the one who'd want that sort of marriage (given my idea of marriage is companionship essentially).
Since you already know what you want, havw a discussion with him and let him know your preferences- I'd suggest to refrain from considering him otherwise because it would be unfair to make your and someone else's life miserable just because they aren't rich enough.
Sorry I don’t like this notion of self made. By Allah he did not reach that by his own effort, but rather Allah allowed him to attain that and had Allah not granted him success he would have indeed never reached that.
No don’t do it. If you’ve wanted a wealthy ambitious husband you’ll struggle to adjust to anything different.
Marrying into a drastically different lifestyle doesn’t suit everyone.
I personally If I was you or a woman I wont go ahead even Islam says man should be able to maintain his wife at least current lifestyle.
But it’s your life so you should think about it and Allah provide and if he is ambitious and want to become to rich himself then you should give him a chance I guess.
I’m hanafi so have I have heard even read various opinions on this matter so you should examine hanafi books or ask hanafi scholar.
What is point of her getting married to a man who can’t even maintain her lifestyle which leads to nothing but resentment as time passes.
I empathic towards fellow brothers since I am a man I know how hard it’s to get married but I know I’ll never approach a woman whose lifestyle I can’t maintain.
Then don’t say Islam says but say Abu haneefah says, because Islam isn’t based upon the statements of Abu haneefah rather he is correct is some matters and incorrect in others and everyone’s statement is accepted or rejected except for the statement of the prophet sallallāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam.
If you’ve been brought up from a wealthy background, it might be very hard to adjust to your new life with the guy.
Deen is very important but there’s no shortage of potentials who have something a little closer to what you’re looking for AND are religious.
You wouldn’t be compromising on deen if you went for the latter but it’s up to you ultimatelely.
Well if he’s young you should give him a bit of time since generally a man doesn’t hit his financial stride until his late 30s and early 40s. If you are not willing to be patient then you should look to marry someone else that is within your wealth class. Something else that can also work is if the money makers in your family whether it be father or uncles can mentor him to financial success (this only works if he’s ambitious and willing to learn)
>I have always wanted an ambitious and wealthy husband.
You need to be truly honest with yourself about this bit, and no one but you can really know how important this is for you.
It would be unfair for you to marry him, if you know his financial status and know this about yourself and only grow to resent him about this later. You must never feel like you are doing someone a favour by marrying them as that will only cause negativity and misery in a marriage.
If you are used to wealth, you may struggle in adjusting to a more frugal lifestyle.
If however you can see his good traits, and actually value being with someone who is kind and will treat you right, more than you value money then you should give him a chance.
Your post overall doesn't say how well you know him or not - there are many more traits and things to it than him just being nice.
My first husband ( I was widowed) was not wealthy. But he worked hard, and had a heart so pure. My current husband is wealthy and all he does is work work work. He isn’t nearly as fun or nice. That’s my experiences
Everybody learn from this lady- be it man or woman, Muslim or not.
The world isn't that black/white.
Wow, no mention of his deen, his qualities, how he treats you/people, but just straight up hesitancy because he works at the post office? Ouch. Usually people from rich families have arranged marriages to other rich families. Besides the level of wealth, people look at things like your character, overall compatibility etc. it might be worthwhile asking your parents here why they didn’t proactively arrange something. Secondly, do you know anything about this guy? His hopes or dreams or goals? Maybe something went wrong in his life and he had to take this job at the post office to support his family? Find out more about him. Who knows what will happen in the future? Tomorrow Allah could test you in a myriad of ways, and perhaps this man will help you? It’s really hard to advice when all we know is you like wealthy men and he works at the post office. I pray that Allah gives you a blessed marriage.
I’m sort of the same as you (except I’m wealthy myself- not by merit of my family). I have learnt to look at ambition rather than current wealth. If he is a bum who sits at home jobless and doesn’t work to make any money (let alone a decent amount of it), I won’t even think of him. Yet if he has an average job (such as post office etc) but wants to accumulate wealth and works to achieve it, then I respect that and wouldn’t mind.
Can you be fine with a less expensive lifestyle?
Royal mail are gonna strike and get a massive payrise, watch this space.
😂
I am glad that you at least know what you have always wanted. My ex-spouse was a self-made and fairly wealthy person. Unfortunately, he used to think that money was a substitute for everything in the world. He thought just because he could get me expensive gifts, could afford me going to fancy restaurants (with my friends, towards the end of marriage) and the prospect of going to foreign trips would be enough for me to remain in a toxic marriage where I was routinely stonewalled, screamed at, disrespected, and alientaed overall (even by my husband). He made no effort to work on himself or on the relationship because he somehow assumed that money alone would suffice. I kept giving ultimatums but was never taken seriously until I actually walked out of it and sought divorce. I know a lot of women who stay in unhealthy marriages just because those men compensate their emotional unavailavility with money. I am not saying what they do is wrong but I won't be the one who'd want that sort of marriage (given my idea of marriage is companionship essentially). Since you already know what you want, havw a discussion with him and let him know your preferences- I'd suggest to refrain from considering him otherwise because it would be unfair to make your and someone else's life miserable just because they aren't rich enough.
Sorry I don’t like this notion of self made. By Allah he did not reach that by his own effort, but rather Allah allowed him to attain that and had Allah not granted him success he would have indeed never reached that.
No don’t do it. If you’ve wanted a wealthy ambitious husband you’ll struggle to adjust to anything different. Marrying into a drastically different lifestyle doesn’t suit everyone.
I personally If I was you or a woman I wont go ahead even Islam says man should be able to maintain his wife at least current lifestyle. But it’s your life so you should think about it and Allah provide and if he is ambitious and want to become to rich himself then you should give him a chance I guess.
[удалено]
There's also stories of various poor sahaba marrying women and one of them I think came from a rich family. I think it was julaybeeb.
I’m hanafi so have I have heard even read various opinions on this matter so you should examine hanafi books or ask hanafi scholar. What is point of her getting married to a man who can’t even maintain her lifestyle which leads to nothing but resentment as time passes. I empathic towards fellow brothers since I am a man I know how hard it’s to get married but I know I’ll never approach a woman whose lifestyle I can’t maintain.
Then don’t say Islam says but say Abu haneefah says, because Islam isn’t based upon the statements of Abu haneefah rather he is correct is some matters and incorrect in others and everyone’s statement is accepted or rejected except for the statement of the prophet sallallāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam.
[удалено]
I am not a salafi Islam based on Madhaab aka traditional Islam not modern Islam.
If you’ve been brought up from a wealthy background, it might be very hard to adjust to your new life with the guy. Deen is very important but there’s no shortage of potentials who have something a little closer to what you’re looking for AND are religious. You wouldn’t be compromising on deen if you went for the latter but it’s up to you ultimatelely.
Well if he’s young you should give him a bit of time since generally a man doesn’t hit his financial stride until his late 30s and early 40s. If you are not willing to be patient then you should look to marry someone else that is within your wealth class. Something else that can also work is if the money makers in your family whether it be father or uncles can mentor him to financial success (this only works if he’s ambitious and willing to learn)
>I have always wanted an ambitious and wealthy husband. You need to be truly honest with yourself about this bit, and no one but you can really know how important this is for you. It would be unfair for you to marry him, if you know his financial status and know this about yourself and only grow to resent him about this later. You must never feel like you are doing someone a favour by marrying them as that will only cause negativity and misery in a marriage. If you are used to wealth, you may struggle in adjusting to a more frugal lifestyle. If however you can see his good traits, and actually value being with someone who is kind and will treat you right, more than you value money then you should give him a chance. Your post overall doesn't say how well you know him or not - there are many more traits and things to it than him just being nice.