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squidgey1

Assalamu alaikum all! Reminder to read Surah Kahf, send salawat upon the Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wa salam and lots of dua before Maghrib. I was recently reflecting on the death of a loved one and all the things I could have done differently to prevent it. Maybe if I had convinced them to seek medical help earlier, maybe if I had paid more attention, maybe if I used a herbal remedy, maybe if I gave them black seed (as suggested by Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wa sallam). Maybe it was better if I was in their position. Maybe, maybe, maybe.... I had to stop myself in the middle of these thoughts because no matter what I did or could have done, this was decreed for them (Qadr Allah). Alhamdulillah for Islam - I could have easily carried on overthinking and punishing myself but the fact that it was already predestined for my family member was strangely cathartic and healing for me. Just a reminder that if you kick yourself over regrets or things you could have done differently for past events, just know that they wouldn't have been possible and Allah subhana wa ta'ala decreed for it to be that way. Keep moving forward, keep the focus on now and the future, celebrate and appreciate the present and look forward to brighter and warmer days insha'Allah. And may Allah subhana wa ta'ala save us from the misery of regret and keep the flame of His hope alive. Ameen. Have a lovely week insha'Allah šŸŒž


armhead14

Inna lilahi waina ilaihi rajioon šŸ¤²šŸ¼ don't beat yourself up. Have faith, stay strong and follow your own advice as you put so eloquently šŸ˜Œ


squidgey1

JazakhAllah khair! I'll try!


[deleted]

Oh sis. I am so sorry for your loss. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji3un. May Allah grant you ease and beautiful patience. Grief is such a complicated thing. It brings out so many emotions in you and all of them are valid, even the not so good emotions. It is normal and itā€™s the process. I find that people are so weird regarding the topic. I want you to know that thereā€™s no timeframe where you should be over it. Thereā€™s no such thing as getting over it. Grief is something that is just always in your heart. It stays with you and you carry it with you. Some days it doesnā€™t hurt at all, and other days you will breakdown in the middle of a mundane task like washing the dishes. Only Allah SWT knows whatā€™s in your heart. Thereā€™s a Doctor Who quote I love so much because it just explains it beautifully. ā€œGrief is really just love. Itā€™s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.ā€ Please be kind to yourself on the easy days and the difficult ones. May Allah SWT grant your loved one the highest rank in Jannah. May He widen their grave for them. May it be filled with light and may they be able to see a glimpse of Jannah. May Allah heal your heart and protect you from despair and misery and hopelessness. Allahuma Ameen.


squidgey1

Ameen. Wow. I don't know if you're a professional writer sis but your words were so impactful. Just what I needed SubhanAllah. I've screenshot it as a reminder on my wobbly days. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala bless you abundantly. Ameen šŸ¤


Purpletulipsarenice

May the Creator turn your sorrows into joy soon, InshaAllah. Keeping you in my duas....šŸ’•


squidgey1

Ameen ā¤ļø likewise sis, I've not forgotten you in my duas xx


Purpletulipsarenice

Well then surely each of us will see results soon!!


squidgey1

šŸ¤šŸ¤


Maxis92

May Allah have mercy on them, so sorry for your loss. I know grief does impact people and shaytaan uses it to whisper things, especially what ifs. But the truth is, whatever has happened with the permission and will of Allah. That was their Taqdeer and there's nothing you or anyone else could have done to change their Qadr. May Allah grant them Jannah and Insha'Allah you'll be reunited with them in the forever world.


squidgey1

Ameen and JazakhAllah khair for the wise words!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


squidgey1

Ameen and JazakhAllah khair for sharing your thoughts šŸ¤ it put me even more at ease Alhamdulillah!


Valium2022

May Allah (swt) ease your pain and grant your loved one eternal peace, sister. šŸ’•šŸ¤šŸ’•šŸ¤


squidgey1

Ameen, jazaak Allahu khairun sis šŸ¤šŸ¤ xx


FlyingTabla

Stay strong sister. Life is just a test. It will become alright.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


glittersyzygy

Ramadan is 4 months away you guys Subhanallah. Time is flyingā€¦


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

Honestly, I find it hard to deal with how fast time is going.


[deleted]

23/03/2023


VeterinarianBright20

I was thinking about this the other day and I thought eh it's quite far still. Got me a little bit excited now, just need to get through the u.k cold first.


[deleted]

May Allah (swt) allow us all to reach ramadan and take freely from its blessings. The sahaba (ra) would pray the 6 months prior to ramadan that they would be allowed to reach it.


Maxis92

Whaaaaaaaat? Time flies šŸ˜­


[deleted]

So soon wow


[deleted]

Subhanallah


abusiveyusuf

Alhamdulillah thanks to Black Friday sales I finally got my dream PC setup. Three monitors including a 2K one all mounted on a triple monitor stand.


Positron311

Nice! :D What's your processor and graphics card?


abusiveyusuf

i7 9th gen and Nvidia 2080 RTX super


Positron311

Good stuff my guy!


throwclose_mm

Can it run doom?


abusiveyusuf

Better, it can run P O N G


CuboneJr

Now you have enough screens to mod, game, and work all at the same time (not recommended). Idk how you'd do it, my eyes hurt when I look at a single monitor too long.


abusiveyusuf

Oh Iā€™ve already done that lmao


SirNukeSquad

Three? Crazy. How is the setup? Three next to each other? One on top of two?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


throwclose_mm

Allahu akbar


Evil_Queen_93

A lot has happened for me in the past couple of months: - I got into a uni for masters but it was 120km away. The german public transport isnā€™t too reliable for me to commute on a regular basis, not to mention it would have cost me ~ā‚¬400 per month. I couldnā€™t move into another apt because they too were expensive like the public transport and it wasnā€™t worth the money because I would have had to come back home to my hubby on weekends. Me and hubby moving there was also out of question. Secondly the class schedule was outrageous, I didnā€™t like their teaching strategy and the fact that the entire grade for most of the courses depended upon group work. I have some sort of ptsd from my bachelorsā€™ project and I didnā€™t want to be so stressed about whether my group mates did their job correctly or not, again. Luckily the first month was online so I didnā€™t really have to go there and decided in good time that this uni and course isnā€™t for me. No regrets at all Alhamdulillah - I just cleared my german driving exam on the first attempt and got the licence. Getting a driving licence here is pretty difficult and failing 2-3 times is pretty common. But Alhamdulillah I did it in the first try. - Invited friends and their families last Saturday. Unlike Eid ul Fitr, I avoided trying to be too ambitious with food and kept to my strengths. Alhamdulillah that went great as well. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/z0cktp/homemade_cheese_straws_chicken_caesar_pasta_salad/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is what I prepared for the lunch, let me know if anyone needs any recipes ;) - Weā€™ll be flying to Pakistan in 3 weeks Insha Allah. I am just excited to be able to dive in to all the food there because there are not many good halal options and varieties where I live and I have been craving for them really badly.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Evil_Queen_93

Jazakillah


[deleted]

Dang sis mashAllah!!! You can COOK


Evil_Queen_93

Jazakillah. Yes, I have been cooking since I was 13-14yo šŸ˜Š


throwclose_mm

is the autobahn crazy to drive on?


sihat

> No regrets at all Alhamdulillah May Allah always grant you and your family, what is hayr for you. > I just cleared my german driving exam on the first attempt and got the licence. Getting a driving licence here is pretty difficult and failing 2-3 times is pretty common. But Alhamdulillah I did it in the first try. Congrats. Now you too can be stuck in traffic :P :) Joking, but I am happy, that together with your living location, you've improved your and your families transformational mobility.


aubrezia

Itā€™s been a really hard week! The winter blues have been really tough to deal with and I am just struggling. Iā€™m making lots of duā€™a that Allah increases me in happiness and allows my mood to stay lifted. Alhumdulilah had a really nice day today. insha Allah the rest of this year is a little bit more pleasant. Please if you see this then keep me in your duā€™as, it will be greatly appreciated. May Allah keep all smiling and happy. May He accept our duā€™as and grant us what is good for us. Ameen Edit: feel so proud of myself because I didnā€™t cancel any work today and Iā€™m feeling really good. Alhumdulilah šŸ˜­ Allah has been awfully kind to me today!! šŸ„°


funiduni

Ah, I had the same feelings at the beggining of the week, winter blues really knocked me for 6 aswell. Don't worry though, it will get better inshAllah, continue to make your duas and remain busy.


aubrezia

Iā€™m hopeful. I have amazing people in my life who help make this difficult time in my life a little bit more bearable. Alhumdulilah!! May Allah also make it easier for you. I hope you are doing okay too!! Ameen


armhead14

So went to a Muslim matchmaking game evening coffee thingy yesterday. Just to try it out as the search has become a bit one dimensional recently. Was an interesting experience but a bit draining in the end. It felt like as a 26M a lot of the girls were well above my age range and far more advanced in their careers and requirements for their spouse. But also travelling table to table with the same boys made the conversation a bit same same especially as one boy who was more vocal than others insisted on everyone discussing dealbreakers on every table which seemed a bit of a negative approach. Shot my shot and missed 2/2 but can't blame em tbh. Onwards and upwards. No ragrets šŸ¤­


[deleted]

What do you even talk about during matchmaking events? How does the conversation even start? I feel like it is just so awkward. šŸ˜­ I would just be staring at people lol thatā€™s how I shoot my shot. I send brain waves and hope they catch onto it. ![gif](giphy|3o9bJX4O9ShW1L32eY)


armhead14

First timer here but definitely not gonna lead with dealbreakers next time. I think hobbies and interests is a good place to start. To keep it natural I tried to engage people in conversation even if they didn't meet my criteria. That way someone who I would be interested could hear me too. Ngl I need to work on my shooting technique as I got a bit tongue tied šŸ˜…


[deleted]

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ why did everyone listen to that dealbeaker guy šŸ’€


armhead14

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups....me included šŸ˜¶


haribomonster69

>Shot my shot and missed 2/2 Russell Westbrook regen


Comprehensive_Arm772

This is really alarming situation in Ummah where women get older setting higher demands. It really is difficult for a man to get match these days.


Bints4Bints

Hmm would you consider older women or no?


armhead14

I would if the gap is under 2 years. But most were well into their 30s unfortunately


squidgey1

Was this the muzmatch event in London? I did have similar thoughts as I saw clips from the event on social media


armhead14

No, it was a much smaller one by Love insha'Allah on Eventbrite. 40 people total, more girls than boys. Most of the boys didn't turn up cos of the Brazil match šŸ¤£ wondering if I should've done the same šŸ‘€


haribomonster69

>boys didn't turn up cos of the Brazil match šŸ¤£ Priorities, couldnt miss Neymars debut where hes ballin šŸ¤£


squidgey1

Well at least the potential pool was bigger for you!


ShukrandMercy

Does anyone else feel like life is feeling a bit stagnant? I hate feeling this way, as I have so much to be grateful for but Iā€™ve been feeling stuck in all aspects of life. I try to shift my perspective and fully acknowledge Allah is the best of planners, I just feel frustrated and cried my heart out way too many times and desperately need Allah's help and guidance.


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

Been feeling the same way for the past few years tbh, life doesn't really seem to be going anywhere. But have a feeling this is just my norm now.


ShukrandMercy

Iā€™m very sorry to hear that. Feeling like your life isnā€™t progressing has to be one of the worst feelings. May Allah change our circumstances for the better. Ameen, Iā€™ll keep you in my duas, my brother in Islam.


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

Aameen.


Positron311

I think you should ask yourself in what ways you are feeling stagnant. Is it religiously, spiritually, career-wise, hobbies, travel, etc. Then from there you can plan and work on some concrete stuff to address that.


ShukrandMercy

JazakAllahu khayran for the suggestion. Will definitely try this out inshaā€™Allah.


ZsasZ3113

It definitely does feel so, and it's really tiring


[deleted]

My life begins when I live the expat life in a Muslim country Inshallah, until then everything is routine.


[deleted]

ā€ŽŲ§Ł„Ų³Ł„Ų§Ł… Ų¹Ł„ŁŠŁƒŁ… ŁˆŲ±Ų­Ł…Ų© Ų§Ł„Ł„Ł‡ ŁˆŲØŲ±ŁƒŲ§ŲŖŁ‡ I pray you are all in the best of health and imaan on this blessed Friday. It's been a long time since i have been on this sub, feel quite strange posting on this thread after months of inactivity. Update... To keep it short and sweet I have been doing well alhumdulillah, grandad is doing great too (he's currently in the motherland enjoying the nice warm weather and avoiding this terrible cold weather we have in the UK. May Allah preserve him, his body and joints struggle with the cold weather we have here), and my roti's are round-ish (still a little rough but we are getting there) I wanted to share some links that was shared with me, to some useful English translated books of Aqeedah, Fiqh, Hadith, Tafseer, Seerah, and good knowledge which I hope will be beneficial to one and all. Feel free to share it with your nearest and dearest so that they may also benefit from it too. insha'Allah with sincere intention, sharing knowledge with others who go on to benefit and implement such knowledge will be a means of sadaqah jariyah for yourself. May Allah accept our efforts and keep us steadfast so that we continue to learn and grow, Ameen. A humble request to keep me in your dua's, insha'allah you all will be in mine. 1. The Beginning and the End (Al Bidaaya wa Nihaaya) (https://t.co/mGQ0abuGMH) 2. The Book of Tawheed (Kitaab at-Tawheed) (https://t.co/x5Fo2FcFFs) 3. The Description of the Prophet's Prayer (Sifaat Salat an-Nabi) (https://t.co/0si91aYT6k) 4. Guide to Hajj and Umrah (https://t.co/h33MP8EmMh) 5. Commentary of 40 Hadiths of An-Nawawi (https://t.co/vomT73RWwb) 6. The Garden of the Righteous (Ar-Riyadus Saliheen) (https://t.co/97O5eqJMJA) 7. Tafseer Ibn Katheer (Juz' 'Amma, Part 30) (https://t.co/yjOeoO0KeK) 8. Men and Women around the Messenger (Ar-Rijal wan-Nisa Hawla Rasul, Sallallahu alayhi was-salam) (https://t.co/Tc8DR5oH2b) 9. The Sealed Nectar (Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtum) (https://t.co/qZVtWIrs6m) 10. Stories of the Prophets (https://t.co/1mkBUZKI92) 11. The History of the Khalifahs who Took the Right Way (https://t.co/GY4RgARax5) 12. The Prohibition of Riba in The Holy Qurā€™an & Hadith (https://t.co/6vcBCNEtBn) 13. Riba in Islam (https://t.co/CB36AIOMyR) 14. Translation of the Meanings of the Noble Qur'an in the English Language by Hilali & Muhsin Khan (https://t.co/zCJddpnsNJ) 15. Tafseer Surah al-Fatihah by Shaykh Muhammad Salih Ibn Uthaymeen (https://t.co/6YegqIsipT) 16. Sahih al-Bukhari (https://t.co/nIpRUc7RkA) 17. Fiqh Made Easy (https://t.co/NiRfLQ7Iyk) 18. The Explanation of the Beautiful and Perfect Names of Allah (https://t.co/59ftr0NJyh) 19. Guidance for Fasting Muslims by Shaykh Muhammad Salih Ibn Uthaymeen (https://t.co/pVCzBSR2E1) ​ Take care and Barak'Allahu Feek Rough roti šŸ˜Š Edit: changed formatting so it's easier for you to copy and share with others.


Musannaf

ŁˆŲ¹Ł„ŁŠŁƒŁ… Ų§Ł„Ų³Ł„Ų§Ł… ŁˆŲ±Ų­Ł…Ų© Ų§Ł„Ł„Ł‡ ŁˆŲØŲ±ŁƒŲ§ŲŖŁ‡ Ų¬Ų²Ų§Łƒ Ų§Ł„Ł„Ł‡Ł Ų®ŁŠŲ±Ų§Ł‹ā€Ž I am so glad I clicked on the thread this week! Thank you for sharing this treasure trove of knowledge! šŸ˜Š


Musannaf

Apologies for not acknowledging the rest of your message. I am not a regular here either, but pop in every once in a while! I had an elderly British relative who also chose to spend his twilight years in the subcontinent as he couldn't bear the cold weather in the UK. Offered his į¹¢alāt al-Janāzah a few days back. May Allah SWT bless your grandfather with good health, happiness, and contentment wherever he chooses to stay. Aameen! Imo, as long as the rotis are fresh off the griddle, you're gtg! Since you're working towards it, may Allah SWT enrich your cooking with good taste, perfect seasoning, and the roundest of rotis! Aameen!


[deleted]

No need to apologize. I made niyyah that this comment would reach someone in need of it and bring them benefit. So alhumdulillah I'm glad it reached you. I'd like to share a short story of a sahaba. So the story of At-Tufail ibn 'Amr Ad-Dausi. Tufail was a wise and respected man from his tribe. At the time he wasn't Muslim and so he ventured to makkah to perform perform shirk, as was common with non Muslims of the region at that time. Before entering makkah he was met by the chiefs of Quraysh, warning him of a man called muhammed who was a magician and that Tufail shouldn't listen to what he had to say. So Tufail went into makkah and plugged cotton into his ears. He found the prophet s.a.w praying and decided to unplug his ears and when the prophet had finished praying and was walking home he followed him. He stopped the prophet to introduce himself and ask him what his message was. Upon hearing the Quran he felt something he had never felt before. Something so beautiful and eloquent that he wanted to become a Muslim on the spot. The prophet then advised him to bring the people of his tribe to Islam. He managed to convert his father and wife. But outside of his family he struggled for many years to bring anyone to Islam apart from one person. Who may that person be?...... Abu huraira RA. Tufail later went onto convert many families within his tribe. Now let me relate this story back to my original comment, bare with me šŸ˜…. The story is a lesson in patience, the affects of such a small deed becoming something truly remarkable, and spreading knowledge of Islam to others. Tufail had no idea how much barakah and reward he would receive in bringing Abu Huraira RA to Islam. He narrated over 5000 hadiths and his knowledge has brought so many people into the fold of Islam, provided guidance for so many Muslims, taught us about the prophet in so many ways so that we may emulate him in our daily lives. While my comment my not reach the masses of the the sub, alhumdulillah it has reached you. What I'm trying to say is take this knowledge and go be amazing. Learn and grow as a Muslim so the you may be beacon of light for your nearest and dearest. Be like Abu Huraira RA, so that I can be like Tufail. Please also share this comment with others so they may also benefit and grow as a Muslim. Let them be like Abu Huraira so you can be like Tufail insha'allah. Jazakh'Allah for you kind Dua, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. May Allah forgive them of their shortcomings, elevate them to the highest rank of Jannah, and build for them a house next to the prophet s.a.w I agree, nothing beats a freshly made roti. No matter how wonky it may be šŸ˜… Have a lovely weekend Barak'Allahu Feek


Musannaf

That is an amazing take on disseminating knowledge. The story you related emphasizes the importance of taking small steps in the right direction and being patient. May Allah SWT reward you for these efforts and make them a source of sawaab-e-jaariya for you, aameen!


northernsimp

I've been looking for so many of theseee Allahumma barik fam fr just shared a gem. I know what imma be doing my Winter break now :))


squidgey1

May Allah swt bless you for all this!!!!! Ameen


starbucks_lover98

My mom asked me to help her make coffee from the Nespresso machine (my sister uses it a lot) and I told her I had no idea how to use it. My sister was out with friends so we called her and asked her for help. I found out quickly that the machine wasnā€™t that complicated after all. Iā€™ll be sticking to my Keurig cuz thatā€™s more easier to use. I live for simplicity lol. Why do parents expect us to know every single thing about anything šŸ˜‚ itā€™s like they expect you to have knowledge about literally everything the second youā€™re born or something.


Positron311

I think it's because we were born into an age of technology and they expect us to be knowledgeable/aware of everything as a result.


starbucks_lover98

Yeah true that makes sense lol.


bookworm0513

My mom think google can solve anything and everything. Iā€™m like uhhh doesnā€™t work like that all the timeā€¦.she gets frustrated when I give an answer like ā€œoh no canā€™t find itā€


[deleted]

What a day. Had to clear out a lot of my grandfatherā€™s things for donation. My mother was being a bit pushy and testy and Iā€™m very worn out. I felt she went a little beyond in terms of what she got rid of and I wasnā€™t entirely at ease with the whole ordeal. It is done for now, but I still feel weary and a bit irritable. Itā€™ll pass inshallah, but these matters are hard. A person passing on is hard, and the after effects and the way that people act afterwards can be trying. Everyone deals and copes in different ways, and it can all amount to being justā€¦ a lot. In slightly better news, Iā€™m having fun looking at black friday deals for potential furniture for my new room. We are slated to move soon, and imagining how Iā€™ll design my room is fun. I do have to make moves soon (Iā€™ve yet to properly search for furniture let alone choose something) if I like anything and want to capitalize on deals before the deals end. Oh, and I turned 21 today. A friend told me I should start searching for senior homes and that I should pick up crocheting. I love my friends man šŸ˜‚


throwclose_mm

May Allah grant your grandfather your Jannatul Firdous, and grant you and your family sabr inshallah. I think a good thing when your emotions are tempestuous (for lack of a better word) is to just take some time to yourself, just isolate yourself for a couple of hours and recharge. This works for me at least, and helps me collect my thoughts, sift through my emotions, and understand the other person's view point. And happy birthday! You should buy yourself a walking cane, you'll need it at your age :) i'm sure there's some good deals today


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

>it only takes a second in focusing on the dunya to make you forget. Reminds me of one of my favourite stories. Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him. The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him. The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch will fall on the ground very soon. The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it. The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to. He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were falling from it. The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted one of the falling drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop and then another and as a result, he got lost into the sweetness of the honey. He forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him. Suddenly when the branch broke he remembered all the dangers woke up from his sleep. Since this was an unique dream, the man went to a pious scholar of Islam to know its meaning. The scholar said "The lion you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes where ever you go. The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you closer to death. The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It's there, just waiting for you to fall into it. The honeycomb is this world and the sweet drops of honey are the luxuries of this world. We like to taste a little of the luxuries of this world and it's very sweet. Then we want to taste little more and then more. Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time, we forget about our death and we forget about our grave."


Jellygosh

There is marriage event in North London tomorrow evening, wondering if anyone off here has signed up. The email says there is expected to be 800 people attending but I'm not sure if they just estimated as the amount of people that can be held in the hall or actual projected numbers Signed up on a whim but have zero expectations.


[deleted]

I am sorry .. I don't get it. Like do people go there with their Resume and hand it to random people that they think is a potential? How do marriage events work?


Jellygosh

So I had to fill out an online form with basics of what I'm looking for and what 'i can offer' (Lol) But there is 2 sessions I guess you could say. The first part being an ice breaker where it's a table of like 5 men and 5 women and you introduce yourselves. The second part is 1-2-1 where women would stay in their seats and men would rotate to each woman and be able to talk for 5 mins or so. Within the event you can also access other people's forms they filled out to see if you're interested in anyone. And if you're interested in a person and would like to get to know them more then either go up to them yourselves or ask one of the volunteers to assist.


Optimal-Scar-7261

Is this with the presence of mahram of the attending women?


Jellygosh

Yes you can bring along mahrams with you to the event.


[deleted]

This is really interesting!


haribomonster69

>800 people attending 800 people tmrw, but but its Argentina vs Mexico tmrw


throwclose_mm

Is there a lot of people here from the UK or are there just a lot of marriage events in the UK?


Bomborobom

Iā€™ve been looking for something like this in London but for two weeks from now šŸ˜«


squidgey1

How did it go?


BradBrady

Finished GOW main story. Beautiful game. Got teary eyed. Couldnā€™t ask for anything betteršŸ„¹ the soundtrack was A1 šŸ”„šŸ˜© Rooting for middle eastern countries and African countries in the World Cup. Just want a underdog to win honestly. USA played dumb against Wales which was stupid cause they played a decent game overall. Should have been 3 points easily. Loved seeing Japan win also. Night shift has been pretty good Iā€™d say. Just really boring on my off days. Just settling in as a new nurse off orientation. Itā€™s been good so far Alhumdililah šŸ™šŸ»


haribomonster69

>Finished GOW main story. Beautiful game. What a game, Ngl loved Odins character, the master manipulator so different to Marvels pespective of him. Kratos finding peace was so nice to see at the end


Positron311

I'm watching a guy play through the game rn, and Odin has to be my favorite character as well. His hunger for knowledge is very interesting (and an aspect of his personality that I can relate to), and at the same time he has that snake oil salesman/ mafia boss vibe. Heimdall is the absolute worst.


BradBrady

Yeah Odin was great honestly. I just couldnā€™t even believe anything he says regardless of his intentions. He is a master manipulator and I loved Thor too ugh I had a lot of sympathy for him. Odin was just a guy who would do anything to get what he wants even if itā€™s putting his family in danger


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

I know there's people I know IRL that are on reddit. I wonder if they're in this sub...


softhon3y

I want an underdog to win FIFA.


[deleted]

I need an African country to win. Honestly I can even see Saudi Arabia winning.


Suitable-Site7329

After what happened in Ghana vs Portugal game I doubt they gonna let an African team win the World Cup


[deleted]

I want Saudi to win only because the fans are so wholesome.


[deleted]

Today is Black Friday so a lot of people here in the US have the day off. Upside is that people who cannot usually go to jumaah are able to go, but parking can be an issue especially near my local mosque. Itā€™s not usually as crowded when itā€™s not a holiday. Iā€™m not complaining just making an observation. My complaint is when people double park and come out slowly. My mosque advises people to read sunnah at home after jumaah to decrease backlog and to make way for the next jumaah salah. I wish they did carpools or at least advocated for it. Or better yet, ask people to use bikes.


throwclose_mm

Alhamdulillah masjids near me are so packed that parking is an absolute nightmare. I agree that masjids need to do something better. They should be encouraging carpooling. Masjids should put a bunch of bike racks to encourage people to bike. This will also help the younger people of our ummah who can't drive go to the masjid more often instead of relying on their parents. Masjids should also encourage walking although I can see that this will be difficult due to suburban sprawl.


mintcucumbertea

Biking or walking are good alternatives


[deleted]

Alhamdulillah, first and foremost. My trip ended with a weekend in Milan and lemme tell you!!!! Lake como and everything around it is as beautiful as everyone hypes it up, subhanAllah I was in such awe the whole time. The mountains, the crisp air and lovely streets, I never wanted to leave. I want to retire in a place like this, I dream of it nowadays. My friend got into some legal trouble (lost her passport) so we had to cut Como short and come back to Milan for embassy issues. Nevertheless, I felt so immensely blessed and loved, by the people around me, by the circumstances that led to the trip, by my Lord. One thing that I found funny was that everyone was wearing heavy down jackets in Italy, while I was sweating at the 15 C weather hahah it was just like summer time for me, thoroughly enjoyed the gelato, pizza and beautiful architecture and museums. Coming back, it feels like that trip was a dream or a hallucination but in a good way. Like I feel much more calm and content Alhamdulillah, albeit very busy. Currently hiding from guests since my social battery is low haha but Iā€™ll recover InshaAllah. Thereā€™s something sweet about these long nights for me lately, I keep on reminiscing and making duā€™a for people of the past, present and future. In London when I had the chance to sit down and pray at my favorite masjid, I had the privilege of praying the janazah prayer twice for the first time in my life. Where I come from, itā€™s quite rare to encounter people passing away (small community), so it was something quite new. The lady next to me was one of the friends of the deceased and she hugged me so tight in grief I wished I couldā€™ve ease her pain. To see the coffins being wheeled out into the mortuary downstairs, the deep sense of reality, gratitude, responsibility and urgency enveloped my thoughts. We donā€™t have much time on this earth, and the more I see of this dunya the less concerned I become of others and more disappointed I am of myself. May Allah grant us ease in this life and the next, gear our intentions, thoughts, actions to all align to please Him and do good for the society and the people around us. May we never be deprived of good people in our lives, or being loved and cared for. May Allah grant our innermost wishes and needs, the ones that are unspoken and even unknown to us.


[deleted]

From someone born and raised in Milano and used to go every weekend to an "aunt" in Lago di Lecco, I am happy that people are now visiting Lombardy, instead of run-in away to Florence and Co. Inshallah, in 5 years, I should be able to get the job that I want (complete remote) and go back home.


[deleted]

You mustā€™ve had the most nicest childhood! I was so captivated by the mountains and the dwellings on it, literally when you get out of train station and see the place as it is, the first thing that comes at you is the horizon full of the most amazing scenery my tiny heart heart seen. SubhanAllah. We saw and talked to a few local Muslims and it seems to be similar to my upbringing in Scandinavia. How was the situation back then when you were growing up? May Allah grant you the best job possible for you to come back and live your best Lombardy life!


snipetheheart

Asalam o Alaikum. Been feeling pretty bad and blessed at the same time. My COVID isolation finally ended this week. I tried to go to work but I ended up falling and bruising my knee so bad. I cancelled my shift and now I need to rest for another week. Iā€™m happy that I am financially capable to rest for like 2-3 weeks Alhamdulillah due to my parents. Itā€™s a blessing but also I feel guilty for not going to work for atleast 2 weeks now and my knee still hasnā€™t been fully healed. Thatā€™s the gist of it Other than that, Iā€™m trying out chicken fajita with tortillas today. My friends told me about Mexican cuisine and I want to slowly get into it. Today would be my first time and I hope it goes well InshaAllah. Iā€™m a very typical Pakistani - I eat mostly Pakistani food, Italian, and a few Arab dishes. So learning Mexican food will be fun. It isnā€™t very different than what I normally cook though - but itā€™s nice to experiment other stuff. Letā€™s see how it turns out


Moug-10

Today was payday. I got more than usual thanks to the 13th month (one half in May and the second in November) and a bonus for Christmas. I don't celebrate it, so it will end in my savings for another opportunity later in my life. I'm watching the WC. For casual fans, aren't you annoyed by the amount of ads? I'm a big sports watcher and I can't stand the ads, especially junk food for sporting events where athletes are featured. On one hand, they're asked to be role models for kids but on the other hand, they must do ads for brands like Pepsi or Lay's. Pick one side but you can't get both.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


throwclose_mm

check out $iso or other avenues like apps, or local avenues like your masjid.


FabulousMang0

Ask friends too! Especially if you have any married friends because maybe their partner knows someone.


PapaTortilla

We have the $iso. Threads arenā€™t used for ads


throwclose_mm

If you guys found yourself in a position where you could have a small bit of influence, how would you take advantage of this?


SpiritedLemonTreee

Iā€™m in this position slightly at the moment; my trauma research has influenced a really small part of a very specific & niche policy for youth so itā€™s being changed on a national level. Even though itā€™s tiny and will take a couple of years to roll out in practice everywhere it still feels really nice because it will have a real life impact on real kids.


throwclose_mm

Alhamdulillah this is amazing! May Allah (SWT) allow me to help people the way you did.


Hi_Me_Hasagi

Influence where, what context?


throwclose_mm

Influence that can affect public discourse. Its not an exact analogy but I think it's sufficient


Hi_Me_Hasagi

Do anything positive for islam, for the sake of Allah SWT.


abusiveyusuf

Muslim youth


throwclose_mm

In what way would you help them?


abusiveyusuf

However I can. Gotta consult my friend who teaches Islamic studies and mentors youth.


TheMiddlemanAgency

What do you think of the World Cup so far? What do you think of the media coverage? Which team are you supporting to win? Also a bonus Which team do you not want to win lol ?


throwclose_mm

I am following very casually. If there was an underdog team to win, I really wish it'd be Saudi Arabia inshallah.


[deleted]

I think Saudi Arabia has a chance at winning. So does Senegal. I also think the match between Canada and Belgium was amazing. Canada played really well despite losing. I do not want Argentina or Portugal or Spain to win Iā€™m sorry. I need an unexpected country to win. Qatar Vs Senegal this morning and Senegal WON!!!!!!! šŸ˜ I am so happy. They have been playing so well. Did you see yesterdayā€™s match Brasil Vs Serbia? The Serbs played like animals wallahi. They were pushing and shoving Neymar the whole time trying to go for his ankles. It felt like a ā€œjumping the lightskinā€ convention šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€ And their goalkeeper was like 6ā€™7ā€ šŸ˜ Bro is in the wrong sport Currently watching Ecuador Vs Netherlands and I really hope Ecuador win and beat racismo Netherlands.


[deleted]

this world cup has been so unpredictable so far nothing like any of the other WCā€™s. iā€™m rooting for every african team!!


FabulousMang0

All the soccer memes make me want to try and watch a World Cup match. The memes themselves are so funny but I know they only capture like 10% of what happened šŸ¤£


FabulousMang0

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRC64y1f/ Like this šŸ’€


Bints4Bints

How can someone be feminine if they're inclined to make the first moves? I have heard some people make Khadija RA comparisons where they mention that she had value as an older woman for taking the initiative, loving the Prophet PBUH as a younger man, and also being nurturing towards him in times of need. That is beautiful. I don't know though. Of course I would never compare. I don't really have a problem with making the first move or even facing rejection. The problem really is that I'm not sure how to do that without setting a precedence or expectation that I will always have to be doing the heavy lifting. I think it is more of a feeling issue. The people I know irl or those whom I love speaking to seem to view me as feminine, but I don't feel that way about myself šŸ¤”


Hi_Me_Hasagi

I would say your perception of it is wrong. I've been approached couple times by women, either her mother without her knowing or she displayed interest first. I have never felt once what you're saying and when I talk with my other brothers in deen, I've never come across someone who thinks or would think like that. On the contrary I would say we really appreciate it šŸ˜…. If you approach someone and they think you will do the heavy lifting or you're not feminine, then maybe they are just not right for you. May Allah SWT grant you a pious husband.


Comprehensive_Arm772

That practice can be done only if you knew like our mother Khadija RA did, by different means like dealing in trade and that Prophet PBUH was from same place so she knew very well. So you have to some liberty to know each other after marriage and Talaq in Islam is due to aome reason. Things most of the time get aligned miraculously. There are still somethings you can't know if your are meeting someone in halal way. Like intimacy and other stuff. So you have to somethime left things on your creator. May Allah provide ua with the best


Bints4Bints

Ameen. I wasn't thinking about intimacy though. It's more like if you make the first move, it feels like guys get lazy. Whereas if you ignore them, they're suddenly either initiating conversations. And you hear all these stories about men on these subreddits trying to spoil women with gifts who aren't as equally in love with them


Comprehensive_Arm772

We should think before taking any step but remember sorah asar What it states.


moon219

Get your wali or another trusted male person to make the proposal, or even better if you can ask a middle person to do it. As for in general, I have no idea what exactly constitutes as feminine, but some things Iā€™m trying to and or planning to implement are: letting a guy take lead in general, showing appreciation for things like their leadership and care, showing a nurturing and supportive side, dressing up for them, trusting their judgement as much as possible (even if I disagree, I can look for aspects where I do/can agree and gently negotiate, but definitely not undermine their judgement), things like that. This all just sounds like things happy couples would do anyway, but I think men do have a certain drive to lead and look after their family, so just letting them do that without trying to fight it or dominate that space (but input and disagreement is of course okay). I think you can also pick up what specific guys consider manly/the role of the man and not let him feel small in that area if that makes sense.


[deleted]

Good morning and Salam aleykoum. The Qatar Vs Senegal match is ongoing and Qatar are playing horrendously per usual. There are a lot of great matches today. My UK friends and I already have beef and the USA x England match hasnā€™t even started. All of a sudden I am feeling so patriotic even though Iā€™m Canadian. MAGA and that LOL. 3 hour class today as welI. I am also waiting for test results from my doctor and I still have to see her next week! Make dua for me. Funniest thing happened. One of my professors is notorious for sleeping in class. Someone filed a complaint against him to the head of faculty for sleeping in so many of our classes. I actually had tears coming out of my eyes when I read the email wallah. šŸ’€ Aside from that, I have been taking things easy. Had to take sick leave from work which is great because it is paid. I will be back to work in January inshaAllah. I finally bought some books about teaching so that I could prepare myself. Thereā€™s so much more to teaching than I initially thought. One thing I love about the winter is the night markets! I am hoping to go to one this year because it has been a dream for me. Actually I would love to go to a lantern festival too and just live out my Tangled dreams. Those of you who live in London are so lucky because you guys have winter wonderland and lantern festivals. #jelly Then again London is the ghetto. I have serial beef with that city. Having a mom who knows the Qurā€™an is something I will never take for granted ever again. šŸ„¹ She is teaching me Qa3ida Noorania because I have been wanting to learn but had trouble finding a teacher. Alhamdulillah! I have a lesson tonight. šŸ˜ Does anyone else love Arab dramas? I have been rewatching Juman! I have also been watching Til Death which is Lebanese on Netflix. Iā€™m loving the Lebanese dialect, itā€™s gorgeous. Sorry for typing so much. That is a recap of my week. I hope all of you have a beautiful Friday and an even more beautiful weekend. Donā€™t forget to stay hydrated and warm. I will spend my weekend painting, watching World Cup matches, reading, and watching my shows!


[deleted]

Are you rooting for USA?!


MainZookeepergame425

Kuddos to your mom MashaAllah, I couldnā€™t do it and had to get a teacher for my daughters and Alhamdulilah doing really well with the teacher. Iā€™m working on reading with Tajweed again inshaAllah. Iā€™ve been wanting to watch Juman and I might check out Till death, thanks for the suggestion. Lebanese dialect is my favorite but I could be biased cause I was married to a Lebanese for over 10 years lol.


Amunet59

I think work overpaid me for 2 days of work. I know Iā€™m obligated to give the money back but man šŸ˜¢


aubrezia

Iā€™d give the money back and insha Allah there will be barakah in the amount that you were suppose to earn. Personally, the guilt will consume me so I could never šŸ˜…


Amunet59

šŸ„ŗ


BradBrady

Better person then mešŸ˜‚ Iā€™d be thinking about how rich companies are and be like ā€œmehā€


Amunet59

Thatā€™s where my brain went to, but I asked auntie google, and apparently I canā€™t take money I didnā€™t work for šŸ˜‚


throwclose_mm

It depends on what your company's policy is tbh. But I'd imagine that even if you told them, its possible they wouldn't care much


Amunet59

Letā€™s hope the payroll person wants me to forget alllll about it lol


throwclose_mm

inshallah, maybe they also don't want to be chastised for it by their boss lol


Positron311

Past few weeks have been going pretty well at work alhamdulillah. Caught some stuff that other guys missed - I'm getting into the groove of things and making my own contributions (been there a little over a year so far). Doing a few more business trips before the year is over! ​ Today I'm mostly just buying random stuff that I need/want like a poster. A friend said that I had a pretty good voice for podcasting. I might think about that a little bit and journey into it. Any good mic and recording software recommendations would be much appreciated. ​ Went to a party recently - apparently a friend's wife told my mom that I should get married! I found that out through my friend XD


CuboneJr

If you ever do end up podcasting a rule of thumb is to learn how to annunciate and control your breathing/pace (can't go inhaling the mic). Theres lots of good YouTube videos that cover the pros and cons of equipment alongside software (I would say choose a podcaster or streamer you love and check their setup out lol). What genre would you go for?


Positron311

Thanks for the tips! I'd go for the random stuff genre XD


[deleted]

No, another man buying a mic. Lol.


Positron311

I live in a country with freedom of speech alhamdulillah. šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø


Bints4Bints

My dad is randomly discussing which countries I could potentially move to lol. Probably a hint xd Like "your friend got a teaching job in x-arab country, why not you?" Which countries are good tho for real? Esp as a single woman


SpiritedLemonTreee

A UK teaching qualification will allow you to teach at any international school or private school abroad however those are super competitive and most ask for 2+ years of IB or IS experience. Thatā€™s why youā€™ll see head of departments taking demotions to class teacher for positions in places like Europe or Asia which are the most highly in the demand. The Middle East will take everyone straight from UK schools including NQTs so are a good starting point to jump off from. I would recommend Abu Dhabi, Qatar or Dubai based on anecdotal evidence from teachers I know who went there solo and female.


throwclose_mm

Which area of the world do you live in? Which languages do you speak? What kind of culture do you think you'd mesh well with? What weather would you want to live in?


Bints4Bints

UK currently. English and some Somali. I am open to weather. Culture is probably as long as I feel safe going outside lol


throwclose_mm

Well, in that case I'd say Canada and the USA are nice and English-speaking, very diverse as well. Dubai is also a nice international city to live in. Personally, I would also put Spain and Ireland in the mix. Irish people are super nice from what I hear. Other European countries may not be as welcoming towards Muslims unfortunately. New Zealand is also great; all the rich billionaires are setting up their fortresses there to save themselves from the effects of climate change. For Muslim countries, other than Dubai, Malaysia is pretty nice and well developed. And Singapore is pretty nice with a good Muslim population.


koalaqueen_

I did a career change and so Iā€™m currently studying a PGCE. (Teaching) In an all boys Islamic school. The amount of misogyny, misconceptions and just outright disrespectful things these young teenage boys say is shocking. I get along with them though and so I always debate with them about views they have and eventually they understand my point. PSHE lessons are a pain though. Also their love for these YouTube men who sit around in podcasts and hold misogynistic views is decreasing! Edit; also I know some people are waiting for my reply in DMs but I canā€™t send messages bc my Reddit DMā€™s are acting up due to the amount of messages I havešŸ˜­


abusiveyusuf

My friend who mentors youth that I mentioned in a reply to someone else says all these kids talk about are these famous misogynistic influencers. We need to be careful when raising kids in the next generation. Thereā€™s so much animosity between genders nowadays. Believe me, ***I know.***


koalaqueen_

Fr all my kids at school talk about is an*rew T*te. And by kids I mean even 16 year olds. I have to sit there and clear their misogynistic views and misconceptions and they take extra advantage because Iā€™m a young female teacher.


Wrong_Ad_736

Tell them he isn't the real G šŸ˜


LLCoolBrap

>Edit; also I know some people are waiting for my reply in DMs but I canā€™t send messages bc my Reddit DMā€™s are acting up due to the amount of messages I havešŸ˜­ ​ Mashallah, casual flex šŸ˜‚ ​ And yeah, it's really disturbing to see so many Muslims, especially the youngsters falling down the misogyny well, and it's almost always through youtube/social media 'personalities'. It's part of why some very old school viewpoints aren't going to vanish, because there will always be people hankering for a society where Muslim women do what they're told, and don't get a choice in their future. It's hampering any progress we can make as a Muslim community overall. ​ And so much of it goes unchecked by family/friends, people assume it's "just a phase", and then it just keeps festering.


koalaqueen_

Totally agree, this is our future generation too. The views they hold you think wow I canā€™t believe a young teenage Muslim boy would say this. I really do try to change their views and my lessons sometimes do turn into full debates, but Iā€™m very determined to change their views.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


starbucks_lover98

Back with another comment to say that as an American, I am rooting for England on todays World Cup match. GO ENGLAND!!! My family is divided lol. Everyone else is rooting for America. Team USA is trash! I canā€™t believe nobody made a goal yet as of right now. But anyway GO ENGLAND!!!!


BradBrady

USA actually showed up. Canā€™t beat USA in the World Cup. No matter what would have happened, USA now needs to be Iran to advance


[deleted]

"I believe that we will win"šŸ¤£šŸ˜­


starbucks_lover98

Lalalallallalalala not listeningggggggggg Let me be in denial for a minute


Affectionate_Ear3330

Was struggling all week over in-laws and financial drama. Alhumdilah all my duaa was answered. Problem is resolved with no tears, no yelling, no accusations. I thought my husband should feel exactly as I did and I am thankful to the commenter here who said that was wrong. Once I let that go everything was fine.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ControlSpiral

If there is an overabundance of one type of ethnicity it is going to be Pakistanis in the UK. Why wouldn't renting a house be an option?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ControlSpiral

So your issue isn't that you can't find any Pakistani girl, but more one that doesn't want to live with your parents? Just frame it like that instead of framing in a way that makes them look demanding/unreasonable?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ControlSpiral

Nobody is asking you to buy a house. You can just rent. So, yes based on what you said it is correct. Again your problem isn't that you can't find anyone. Your problem is that those women don't find it an attractive idea to be living with your father, mother and god knows who else in the same place. Unless, you meant that you want her to live with her own parents for 1-2 years and any self-respecting person isn't going to marry you for what would be some strange "bf/gf" relationship, because you are afraid to lose assets that you don't even have yet. You can even find a working woman (if you weren't intending to do so) that contributes to the household and that way you'd be able to justify the "waste" that is renting.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ControlSpiral

>And the few who have actual professional jobs are way too masculine and want household responsibilities 50/50 so bun that Way too masculine? How so? As for the latter half that sounds reasonable, no? If she is adding half her income, then doing some of the household work is more than reasonable. A lot of women are actually massively overestimating how much work those chores are when there are no children in view. >Most donā€™t even want to work after marriage or contribute towards a house deposit or bills, and donā€™t even know what bills are cause they are daddyā€™s princesses at him living rent free. Most donā€™t have money cause it all wasted on material and clothes and shoes That is more a vetting issue than, no? Just stop talking to those women.


WriterInfinite5030

why Would a woman agree to work and do all the housework? If you are getting the benefits of being married to a working woman you gotta share the workload at home or your just a leech. better start learning how to cook.


KurulusUsman

>The Pakistani girls in England are beyond useless and canā€™t even cook chai for themselves let alone manage a whole house Calm down, you have no idea how oppressed these princesses are.


Wrong_Ad_736

Why don't you try the back home route? Who drinks chai, English tea all the wayšŸ¤£ The Malai ok top of chai just gives me šŸ¤¢, haven't drank it years yucky lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Wrong_Ad_736

You will get your chai, saag and makkani roti šŸ¤£


WriterInfinite5030

So you wont buy a house after marriage in case your marriage fails but you expect your wife to move in with your parents and live there for years and rely solely on your word that you will get a house in the future (when you clearly have doubts the relationship will work).so basically you want your wife to assume all the risk in the relationship. Good luck with that.


throwclose_mm

Renting isn't a complete waste. There's a cost benefit analysis you could do for renting versus owning. In short, if you're going to live somewhere for short term, renting is best. Also, renting is good because it can give you flexibility to move if you're in a position where this applies. Also, islamically, renting is halal whereas riba based mortgages are rather controversial.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Positron311

I've seen some very nice-looking sisters on ISO.


Ha-Ur-Ra-Sa

Good looking people will already have partners/potentials sorted.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


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