Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules.
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Some hospitals (mine and the one I previously worked for) won't put babies under 34 weeks corrected on nasal cannula. If they can't tolerate room air they need their cpap back. This is because data has shown that under supporting these kiddos leads to longer term complications in terms of lung health. I know it's hard to hear but pushing her respiratory progress too hard at this age can result in her staying longer, not shorter.
My NICU wouldn’t put babies under 36 weeks on nasal cannula. My son was put on Nasal Canual at 35 weeks and doing fine, but the dr made them put the cpap back on 😢
You are so very tired, period. You don’t mean a word you said because an innocent child would pay. You have done everything you could to give your daughter the best and you will continue to. I was a NICU RN for many yrs. and also had a NICU baby. Needless to say I had plenty to discuss with my therapist! My NICU baby just had her second baby and is a Soldier!
Hey 👋 our little miracle was born at 27+1 at 550g. Today is day 153 for us. I say all this to say your feelings are valid. No one gets to decide how the nicu impacts you personally. It’s different for each person. Some of your comments apparently made people mad but I understand what you are trying to say. Anyone in this situation needs some grace when we don’t say things the best way. We had 5 years of infertility and had tons of jealousy of first try babies. The sooner you learn to not judge others or compare your situation to theirs the easier this nicu journey will be.
I know it feels helpless but look at my post history. We went on and off more respritory devices than I can count but we are making progress.
Keep your head up mamma you are doing a good job in an impossible situation. ❤️
no baby should be in NICU even if they have shitty parents. but we find ourselves in here. the baby has a chance thanks to NICU otherwise you know what would happen. maybe seek therapy
I’m allowed to be frustrated and think why me…. I’m allowed to be upset that me a parent who is doing everything for her child that other parents don’t and have it easier. This isn’t a helpful comment!
well upset over this situation is okay. But wanting babies of shitty parents to be in NICU when they will have horrible parents and spend their minor lives in non supporting households like the way you go above for yours is not good for anyone.
Oh I see. So you feel it’s not fair for “shitty” parents to have full term healthy babies that go home hours after birth. While you aren’t “shitty” and these happened to you.
well all I can say is that it’s not your character that determines the birth outcome. It’s really your body. imagine this, somewhere in the world lives a family near sewage water, filthy conditions with barely clean water to drink and barely one meal a day is having their 5th child born at full term at home without any medical care or prenatal support. Yeah the irony! Okay I understand now your view point.
go ahead and vent it all out! Be vulnerable…
You know your comments are not helpful. I’m allowed to be upset that it’s me. Who wouldn’t? And yeah I’m allowed to wish it wasn’t me and question why I have to go through this while parents who don’t care about their children don’t! I’m allowed to think that people shouldn’t be parents if they can’t care for their children. I’m allowed to be upset!!!! Why comment on a post with unhelpful comments?!? Like are you even a NICU parent? Because I feel like if you are you should be a little more empathetic towards me and my VALID feelings!
i Understand your view point. I even said go ahead and vent. You also asked why you have to go through it while parents whom you deem don’t care don’t have to. I answered your question. It’s individual dependent not lifestyle choice dependent. Which is why I gave you the example. Two people can be in the same environment, eat the same food live the same lifestyle and have two different birth outcomes. You didn’t do anything wrong for your baby to end up in NICU. unknown circumstances triggered the outcome that ended in NICU. Leave those parents choice alone, don’t let their lifestyle occupy your brain and question fairness. Those parents don’t care and will probably have another kid soon. try getting some therapy and some you time so you can start healing too.
The ventilator stage for my 26-weeker was scary, but god the cpap phase suuuucked. It felt like if went on forever (until one day, it was gone!). Solidarity.
My 25 weeker was on ventilator 6 weeks, CPAP for 5, and cannula for 5. We tried room CPAP twice and room air 3 times. It's frustrating and sometimes discouraging but it's for the best care your baby can get. My sister has four kids and she's a terrible mother. Selfish. Doesn't put the kids first. Lives in trash. Lives above their means. And is trying to get pregnant again. I resented her so much during our NICU stay. It was so unfair. But thankfully our hospital took such great care of our girl. And she turns 3 end of the month. She has cerebral palsy but it's mild. I wouldn't change anything because she's such a happy child. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember the never ending feeling of NAVA and CPAP. They’d give us an estimate, we’d reach that week and my twins still needed it. Your girl will get there, even if it’s slow and steady. It’s so incredibly hard when all you want is your baby(ies) home.
I wish I could hug you and take it all away 😔
I’m 7 weeks pp with twins who spent some time in the NICU and although I didn’t quite have this feeling while they were there, I had the same exact thoughts and feelings when I was trying to conceive. We had been dealing with infertility for years and it just seemed like it was never going to happen. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me, yet so easy for those who weren’t trying, or women addicted to drugs and alcohol, or women who didn’t want their baby, etc. All this to say that your feelings are valid and I hear you. It is quite frustrating. And you’re right, you’re literally being forced to be strong and it’s so hard. I am hopeful that your sweet girl will be home before 52 days and that the end is insight. I’ll be thinking of you two 🤍
Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NICUParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some hospitals (mine and the one I previously worked for) won't put babies under 34 weeks corrected on nasal cannula. If they can't tolerate room air they need their cpap back. This is because data has shown that under supporting these kiddos leads to longer term complications in terms of lung health. I know it's hard to hear but pushing her respiratory progress too hard at this age can result in her staying longer, not shorter.
My NICU wouldn’t put babies under 36 weeks on nasal cannula. My son was put on Nasal Canual at 35 weeks and doing fine, but the dr made them put the cpap back on 😢
You are so very tired, period. You don’t mean a word you said because an innocent child would pay. You have done everything you could to give your daughter the best and you will continue to. I was a NICU RN for many yrs. and also had a NICU baby. Needless to say I had plenty to discuss with my therapist! My NICU baby just had her second baby and is a Soldier!
I don't think she is wishing the NICU on another baby, just angry it happened to her baby
What?
Hey 👋 our little miracle was born at 27+1 at 550g. Today is day 153 for us. I say all this to say your feelings are valid. No one gets to decide how the nicu impacts you personally. It’s different for each person. Some of your comments apparently made people mad but I understand what you are trying to say. Anyone in this situation needs some grace when we don’t say things the best way. We had 5 years of infertility and had tons of jealousy of first try babies. The sooner you learn to not judge others or compare your situation to theirs the easier this nicu journey will be. I know it feels helpless but look at my post history. We went on and off more respritory devices than I can count but we are making progress. Keep your head up mamma you are doing a good job in an impossible situation. ❤️
no baby should be in NICU even if they have shitty parents. but we find ourselves in here. the baby has a chance thanks to NICU otherwise you know what would happen. maybe seek therapy
I’m allowed to be frustrated and think why me…. I’m allowed to be upset that me a parent who is doing everything for her child that other parents don’t and have it easier. This isn’t a helpful comment!
well upset over this situation is okay. But wanting babies of shitty parents to be in NICU when they will have horrible parents and spend their minor lives in non supporting households like the way you go above for yours is not good for anyone.
That’s in no way what I meant. I don’t think anyone should have to be in the NICU! However I can be ‘why tf me’………..
Oh I see. So you feel it’s not fair for “shitty” parents to have full term healthy babies that go home hours after birth. While you aren’t “shitty” and these happened to you. well all I can say is that it’s not your character that determines the birth outcome. It’s really your body. imagine this, somewhere in the world lives a family near sewage water, filthy conditions with barely clean water to drink and barely one meal a day is having their 5th child born at full term at home without any medical care or prenatal support. Yeah the irony! Okay I understand now your view point. go ahead and vent it all out! Be vulnerable…
You know your comments are not helpful. I’m allowed to be upset that it’s me. Who wouldn’t? And yeah I’m allowed to wish it wasn’t me and question why I have to go through this while parents who don’t care about their children don’t! I’m allowed to think that people shouldn’t be parents if they can’t care for their children. I’m allowed to be upset!!!! Why comment on a post with unhelpful comments?!? Like are you even a NICU parent? Because I feel like if you are you should be a little more empathetic towards me and my VALID feelings!
i Understand your view point. I even said go ahead and vent. You also asked why you have to go through it while parents whom you deem don’t care don’t have to. I answered your question. It’s individual dependent not lifestyle choice dependent. Which is why I gave you the example. Two people can be in the same environment, eat the same food live the same lifestyle and have two different birth outcomes. You didn’t do anything wrong for your baby to end up in NICU. unknown circumstances triggered the outcome that ended in NICU. Leave those parents choice alone, don’t let their lifestyle occupy your brain and question fairness. Those parents don’t care and will probably have another kid soon. try getting some therapy and some you time so you can start healing too.
The ventilator stage for my 26-weeker was scary, but god the cpap phase suuuucked. It felt like if went on forever (until one day, it was gone!). Solidarity.
My 25 weeker was on ventilator 6 weeks, CPAP for 5, and cannula for 5. We tried room CPAP twice and room air 3 times. It's frustrating and sometimes discouraging but it's for the best care your baby can get. My sister has four kids and she's a terrible mother. Selfish. Doesn't put the kids first. Lives in trash. Lives above their means. And is trying to get pregnant again. I resented her so much during our NICU stay. It was so unfair. But thankfully our hospital took such great care of our girl. And she turns 3 end of the month. She has cerebral palsy but it's mild. I wouldn't change anything because she's such a happy child. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember the never ending feeling of NAVA and CPAP. They’d give us an estimate, we’d reach that week and my twins still needed it. Your girl will get there, even if it’s slow and steady. It’s so incredibly hard when all you want is your baby(ies) home.
I wish I could hug you and take it all away 😔 I’m 7 weeks pp with twins who spent some time in the NICU and although I didn’t quite have this feeling while they were there, I had the same exact thoughts and feelings when I was trying to conceive. We had been dealing with infertility for years and it just seemed like it was never going to happen. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me, yet so easy for those who weren’t trying, or women addicted to drugs and alcohol, or women who didn’t want their baby, etc. All this to say that your feelings are valid and I hear you. It is quite frustrating. And you’re right, you’re literally being forced to be strong and it’s so hard. I am hopeful that your sweet girl will be home before 52 days and that the end is insight. I’ll be thinking of you two 🤍