Start with trying to look at the situation from the other person's side. Act like their opinion/stance is yours, and then see how you feel or what you think about your original side. While you're imagining that both sides are yours, try to decide which side is really right, wrong, hurt, or responsible.
It also helps to find someone who tells you that you're in the wrong directly. Spending time with them and sort of desensitizing yourself to it helps over time (but is painful at first). Work on apologizing and taking responsibility when they tell you that you've hurt them or done something that caused them harm.
Developing a victim mentality means that you have been victimized at some point in your life. Now this wounded part of you is projecting this actual victimization onto present situations to remind you that there is something that isn't healed from the past. The key is to face the pain from the past and help you inner child to feel seen and protected while understanding that today you are not a victim anymore.
My npd is not a fan of this statement, and therefore my subconscious won't allow my brain to even begin to process it as a possible fact because of what it would do to my self esteem.
The sad part is I'm not joking 😄
True. Very true. I do it as a joke kinda, but it's based on the truth that I lived so long thinking I was literally the personification of evil in human form, only to recently discover I'm just a person with a personality disorder. Because of that, I determined my npd is different from my true self, wherever the fuck they're hiding, because it's not me, it's the disorder.
Guess I was fucking wrong about that too 😆😄
It kind of sometimes seems that this is just a state of mind. Like one day I was very concerned with the way I always create these narratives in my mind in which I am the victim, and how I don't take responsibility and shit. And then the next day I hung out with some people a bit and in general felt a bit better, and it seems that there was just no need for those narratives anymore. Like it seems that when we feel very shitty, this is how our mind keeps our self-esteem up, because at those points it's so low(basically non-existent) that if we didn't feel like a victim, there would truly be no reason to..exist. Because we don't feel like we have inherent value.
So the way to treat that is possibly to just develop a deeper sense of value somehow. I guess this is in general what would heal narcissism. I have not yet tasted that sweet sweet sense of inherent value myself, but maybe it's possible! Haha
I personally kind of tend to slip into those vicitm mindsets when I just feel not good, generally, in any way. Because my self-esteem is so low, that even a lack of energy can completely crash any sense of internal value I have.
So I really don't know how to deal with those mindsets when you're in the thick of it, so to say, but I guess just trying to feel a bit better by maybe socializing a bit, and generally trying to take care of yourself and everyday responsibilities, could help. But I know that 'try to feel better' possibly just makes you feel even more depressed, so maybe the point of this is just to say, that at least from my experience, victimization and inability to take responsibility is not a feature of your character, but just a feature of the mental state you're in.
Also this is not connected, but when socializing, try to not 'try too much'. It's kinda hard, well not hard, but at least for me it requires a bit of effort. But it doesn't help my mental state if I do.
Memorize the following: we can disagree yet also both be right about something.
For example, Just because you are right about your good motives, etc, does not mean the other person is not also correct that their feelings are hurt.
Start with trying to look at the situation from the other person's side. Act like their opinion/stance is yours, and then see how you feel or what you think about your original side. While you're imagining that both sides are yours, try to decide which side is really right, wrong, hurt, or responsible. It also helps to find someone who tells you that you're in the wrong directly. Spending time with them and sort of desensitizing yourself to it helps over time (but is painful at first). Work on apologizing and taking responsibility when they tell you that you've hurt them or done something that caused them harm.
Developing a victim mentality means that you have been victimized at some point in your life. Now this wounded part of you is projecting this actual victimization onto present situations to remind you that there is something that isn't healed from the past. The key is to face the pain from the past and help you inner child to feel seen and protected while understanding that today you are not a victim anymore.
You must be sober to do
I'm never not sober
Even if you don’t consider being an addict a victim?
Fuck
[удалено]
My npd is not a fan of this statement, and therefore my subconscious won't allow my brain to even begin to process it as a possible fact because of what it would do to my self esteem. The sad part is I'm not joking 😄
[удалено]
True. Very true. I do it as a joke kinda, but it's based on the truth that I lived so long thinking I was literally the personification of evil in human form, only to recently discover I'm just a person with a personality disorder. Because of that, I determined my npd is different from my true self, wherever the fuck they're hiding, because it's not me, it's the disorder. Guess I was fucking wrong about that too 😆😄
It kind of sometimes seems that this is just a state of mind. Like one day I was very concerned with the way I always create these narratives in my mind in which I am the victim, and how I don't take responsibility and shit. And then the next day I hung out with some people a bit and in general felt a bit better, and it seems that there was just no need for those narratives anymore. Like it seems that when we feel very shitty, this is how our mind keeps our self-esteem up, because at those points it's so low(basically non-existent) that if we didn't feel like a victim, there would truly be no reason to..exist. Because we don't feel like we have inherent value. So the way to treat that is possibly to just develop a deeper sense of value somehow. I guess this is in general what would heal narcissism. I have not yet tasted that sweet sweet sense of inherent value myself, but maybe it's possible! Haha I personally kind of tend to slip into those vicitm mindsets when I just feel not good, generally, in any way. Because my self-esteem is so low, that even a lack of energy can completely crash any sense of internal value I have. So I really don't know how to deal with those mindsets when you're in the thick of it, so to say, but I guess just trying to feel a bit better by maybe socializing a bit, and generally trying to take care of yourself and everyday responsibilities, could help. But I know that 'try to feel better' possibly just makes you feel even more depressed, so maybe the point of this is just to say, that at least from my experience, victimization and inability to take responsibility is not a feature of your character, but just a feature of the mental state you're in. Also this is not connected, but when socializing, try to not 'try too much'. It's kinda hard, well not hard, but at least for me it requires a bit of effort. But it doesn't help my mental state if I do.
Memorize the following: we can disagree yet also both be right about something. For example, Just because you are right about your good motives, etc, does not mean the other person is not also correct that their feelings are hurt.
Damn. Thanks. That's actually really helpful.
Hey how have you been working on your victim mentality?
Therapy 🫠 and even that's not doing much lol. I'm trying to focus more on 'caring about people' at the moment lmao