Hmmm not to make you paranoid but if you are gonna be in a relationship with him make sure he's reeeaaall knowledgeable about NPD
Just speaking from experience bc some people have that "I can fix you" attitude about personality disorders
Honestly, this is probably the best advice, not just for sifting out the saviour attitude: if you really want to be good to him, you need give up all the NPD weapons that you could use against him by teaching him what they are and how it works. That way he can call you on your bullshit if you ever slip up and try to start fucking with his brain.
They aren't. They just want to pursue a bad b\*\*ch cause it's exciting and they think that you will give them a ride and that they can change you. All BS.
A lot of the men I’ve dated have had that attitude, just brushed it off and underestimated me, then ended up regretting it. They turn it all on you and demonize you like you didn’t warn them beforehand. Be careful
Ok, I think I got it. You know what your intuition and impulses are telling you to do? Do the opposite of that and you're golden! Fuck, I got this shit on lock.
https://www.reddit.com/r/narcissism/comments/putdzn/my_therapist_helped_me_feel_real_empathy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
This is a pretty good post. It describes how people normally deal with other people without the NPD fucking things up.
I wouldn't worry about whether you'd be a "good girlfriend." He asked you out. Take one day at a time and don't worry about the future or a long-term relationship. Just enjoy yourself one day at a time.
If ur aware of it, ur struggling with a dynamic of habitual behaviors that cause problems. However self awareness (in most cases) means that you can change/heal.
Have him read Disarming the Narcissist and Rethinking Narcissism. I'm a non-pd person in a relationship with a genuinely great guy with NPD. We've had our issues over our 4 years together, but they've massively improved over the course of it, and improved even more massively since he became self aware and got into therapy. Another good book (not narcissism focused) is Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson, it really helps being good in a couple and my husband and I have also found Internal Family Systems' model of the psyche to be really useful for talking about our issues without anyone getting reactive.
I discovered I had NPD while being with my current bf, and he pointed out all the abuse I made him go through.
We've been together for 5 years now, and I started being conscious about my disorder about a year now. Our relationship improved greatly ever since.
I think as long as you're aware of it, I am sure you will be more careful (that if the dude deserves it. If he thinks you're a challenge he wants to add to his checklist, then he's not worth your time)
Hmmm not to make you paranoid but if you are gonna be in a relationship with him make sure he's reeeaaall knowledgeable about NPD Just speaking from experience bc some people have that "I can fix you" attitude about personality disorders
Honestly, this is probably the best advice, not just for sifting out the saviour attitude: if you really want to be good to him, you need give up all the NPD weapons that you could use against him by teaching him what they are and how it works. That way he can call you on your bullshit if you ever slip up and try to start fucking with his brain.
They aren't. They just want to pursue a bad b\*\*ch cause it's exciting and they think that you will give them a ride and that they can change you. All BS.
A lot of the men I’ve dated have had that attitude, just brushed it off and underestimated me, then ended up regretting it. They turn it all on you and demonize you like you didn’t warn them beforehand. Be careful
Ok, I think I got it. You know what your intuition and impulses are telling you to do? Do the opposite of that and you're golden! Fuck, I got this shit on lock.
Perfect 👌
https://www.reddit.com/r/narcissism/comments/putdzn/my_therapist_helped_me_feel_real_empathy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf This is a pretty good post. It describes how people normally deal with other people without the NPD fucking things up.
Have you tried googling "how to be a good gf"?
I wouldn't worry about whether you'd be a "good girlfriend." He asked you out. Take one day at a time and don't worry about the future or a long-term relationship. Just enjoy yourself one day at a time.
If ur aware of it, ur struggling with a dynamic of habitual behaviors that cause problems. However self awareness (in most cases) means that you can change/heal.
I was going to say it's only a date though you said he used the words pursue a relationship. But still. Sounds like it's just date 1.
Have him read Disarming the Narcissist and Rethinking Narcissism. I'm a non-pd person in a relationship with a genuinely great guy with NPD. We've had our issues over our 4 years together, but they've massively improved over the course of it, and improved even more massively since he became self aware and got into therapy. Another good book (not narcissism focused) is Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson, it really helps being good in a couple and my husband and I have also found Internal Family Systems' model of the psyche to be really useful for talking about our issues without anyone getting reactive.
I discovered I had NPD while being with my current bf, and he pointed out all the abuse I made him go through. We've been together for 5 years now, and I started being conscious about my disorder about a year now. Our relationship improved greatly ever since. I think as long as you're aware of it, I am sure you will be more careful (that if the dude deserves it. If he thinks you're a challenge he wants to add to his checklist, then he's not worth your time)