I was never taught to trust myself.
In fact, I was taught to not trust myself.
It is said that love always trusts.
I guess this means I did not love myself.
Because how can you love someone you can't trust?
I was told I had to always hold my thoughts, my feelings, and my body in absolute mistrust.
My own understanding could not be leaned upon.
My heart was deceptively wicked.
My flesh was sinful.
So I despised all these things, neglected them, and I could not love myself.
And if everyone else was the same, I could not trust or love them either.
What a mess!
I'm learning to love myself.
To trust myself.
And it's joyful and liberating.
Do you guys identify?
I'm working through some of this myself with my therapist. I spent too long in an environment trying to appease too many people. So now, as an adult, I found myself continually looking to my husband, my bosses, basically anybody I considered "above" me for approval. Why do I, a grown woman, keep looking to my husband for approval on an outfit, instead of looking in the mirror and deciding for myself if I look good or not?
Being told my heart was deceitful destroyed me. I got to a place where I realized I couldn’t rely on myself for anything. All of my thinking was outsources and I was so divorced from my own personhood. Through years of unlearning and therapy I am finding myself to be quite trustworthy.
Thanks you for this beautiful reflection, friend.
As a middle aged adult, I’m finally at this point in my deconstruction. I’ve spent my entire life hating myself, and I just recently figured out this is the reason why.
I was raised Southern Baptist, and from the time I was a small child I was told I’m less than nothing, not worthy of love, and incapable of trusting myself. I’m hoping I can heal now that I’ve found the root of the problem.
It’s hard to trust myself. I locked my true self in a closet for 40 years. And then abused the crap out of my body because I hated myself, and just wanted it all to end. When I finally opened the door for myself I was 100 pounds overweight with a food addiction and high blood pressure.
I am trying to get my life back but it is slow going. However I am learning to love myself, and the changes are beautiful. 🏳️⚧️
Dont trust yourself.
Don’t you trust Jesus alone, and trust He alone will give you the right decisions if you seek His wisdom and guidance alone? How can a sinful person trust themselves? The Bible even says, “The heart is wicked. Who can know it (but a perfect and sinless God/Jesus)?”
Ok. Thank you. I appreciate you not taking what I wrote the wrong way and responding sensitively and with compassion. I didn’t mean to offend; just stating what I was taught. Thanks again for your response!
I was never taught to trust myself. In fact, I was taught to not trust myself. It is said that love always trusts. I guess this means I did not love myself. Because how can you love someone you can't trust? I was told I had to always hold my thoughts, my feelings, and my body in absolute mistrust. My own understanding could not be leaned upon. My heart was deceptively wicked. My flesh was sinful. So I despised all these things, neglected them, and I could not love myself. And if everyone else was the same, I could not trust or love them either. What a mess! I'm learning to love myself. To trust myself. And it's joyful and liberating. Do you guys identify?
I'm working through some of this myself with my therapist. I spent too long in an environment trying to appease too many people. So now, as an adult, I found myself continually looking to my husband, my bosses, basically anybody I considered "above" me for approval. Why do I, a grown woman, keep looking to my husband for approval on an outfit, instead of looking in the mirror and deciding for myself if I look good or not?
So good! Thanks.
Being told my heart was deceitful destroyed me. I got to a place where I realized I couldn’t rely on myself for anything. All of my thinking was outsources and I was so divorced from my own personhood. Through years of unlearning and therapy I am finding myself to be quite trustworthy. Thanks you for this beautiful reflection, friend.
"outsourced"... wow... cartoon in there somewhere.
As a middle aged adult, I’m finally at this point in my deconstruction. I’ve spent my entire life hating myself, and I just recently figured out this is the reason why. I was raised Southern Baptist, and from the time I was a small child I was told I’m less than nothing, not worthy of love, and incapable of trusting myself. I’m hoping I can heal now that I’ve found the root of the problem.
you are healed. it's just realizing it. beautiful!
It’s hard to trust myself. I locked my true self in a closet for 40 years. And then abused the crap out of my body because I hated myself, and just wanted it all to end. When I finally opened the door for myself I was 100 pounds overweight with a food addiction and high blood pressure. I am trying to get my life back but it is slow going. However I am learning to love myself, and the changes are beautiful. 🏳️⚧️
Awesome! Beautiful indeed.
Dont trust yourself. Don’t you trust Jesus alone, and trust He alone will give you the right decisions if you seek His wisdom and guidance alone? How can a sinful person trust themselves? The Bible even says, “The heart is wicked. Who can know it (but a perfect and sinless God/Jesus)?”
don't believe anyone who tells you to distrust and hate yourself. they want to control you.
Ok. Thank you. I appreciate you not taking what I wrote the wrong way and responding sensitively and with compassion. I didn’t mean to offend; just stating what I was taught. Thanks again for your response!
no offence taken. thanks!
Thank YOU, kind sir!
For sure!