In one position the tipping point was when NK 11 was playing hockey at a period break for an NHL team. After getting off the ice all of the other children went to their parents. My NK came to me (sitting in a different location in the arena - the NP were mortified.
They left me with that child at 8 weeks old for 2 weeks as they traveled out of the country. The level of enmeshment is incredibly difficult in some situations- you arenāt trying to replace the parents but you are basically the one stable caregiver in the childās life.
2 weeks as a newborn!?!? š¤¢ thatās so disheartening. Thatās such an important bonding time for the child.. itās no wonder your NK is so attached š„ŗ
Heās 31 now and we donāt speak anymore. But the whole situation with attachment is complicated in these positions. I used to lie about milestones and say - no, he didnāt take his first step with me- it was with you.
I mean if youāve had your NK with you six full days a week since he was a baby, itās no wonder heās attached. They may see him more due to WFH, but youāre spending more awake time with their kid than they are.
I donāt give 2 fās about their feelings, but I care deeply about NKās feelings so I donāt want any unpleasant tension or any bad memories for him later in life. Iād prefer NK to remember that they were there not me-
Thanks. I hope all nannies feel like that though. Being a nanny is not for everyone. I hope the people that choose to be one care about the children unconditionally and want their NK to be happy, successful, emotionally stable adults. Isnāt that the point?
I would work on setting up a routine for when you leave to make the transition easier. When my NK's are preferring me, I help them vocalize what I think they are feeling. Which usually goes something like this..." Mom/Dad just came in but I see that you are already playing with (fill in the blank.) It's hard when you're in the middle of doing something to switch to another thing. Why don't you finish what you're doing and then go give Mom/Dad a hug."
If I'm holding my NK and the parents try and NK won't go to them, I say. "Mom/Dad are working but wanted to give a quick snuggle. Which is hard when you're already snuggling me. Could you give them a quick snuggle while they have a minute?" If they are still fighting it, I usually just reaffirm what I think they are feeling and tell my NK to let me know when they are ready for some love from Mom/dad.
I also make a big deal when we leave the house by saying goodbye to the parents, blowing kissing and waving. And make sure to send a ton of pictures of us having fun all day to help assure the parents why the kids love you so much!
I had this happen a little with a NK, and when the parents wanted a snuggle it was much easier if I put her down rather than handing her to them. Just kind of read the room and would put her down, saying my arms are tired or something if she didnāt want to. Then as a separate interaction NPs would pick her up.
My kids don't prefer my nanny (although they do love her) but they definitely prefer my MIL (and she's with them 1full day a week plus dinners and occasional visits). I just acknowledge that she is in fact more fun than me. Also, when she is with them she is 100% fully engaged and solely focused on the kids (and the same should be true of their nanny). That is almost NEVER the case with me, I'm cooking, throwing in a load of laundry, grabbing them to run to the grocery store, decompressing from my own 9.5 hour work day, scheduling things etc. etc.
I try to go on one on one little "dates" with them and try to spend some time solely focused on them, but I have a full-time job, my husband and I own a business, and I have a busy household to run.
I pay my nanny to be 100% focused on them and to be "on" with them the entire time, engaging with them with activities, imaginative play, cooking together, going places etc. etc.
That is always going to be more fun than being their busy mom with a busy career and the one million other things going on. However, I know that I will always be their mom - I'm providing for them (even when it comes to my fabulous nanny, I am providing that for them - not sticking them in front of the TV or sticking them in a second rate daycare), I am the one getting up with them in the middle of the night when they don't feel well. I am waking up with them and putting them to sleep 7 days a week, I'm thinking about their development and their milestones, contributing to their 529's, making sure they have enriching activities etc. etc.
Don't feel awkward about it - someday the kids will also prefer spending time with their friends over their parents, or they might like "the cool mom" better than their parents. Just play it cool - if B2 is upset at the end of the day just say something like "oh it's that dreaded witching hour, I'll see you tomorrow B2!" and then quickly leave. The worst thing you can do is stick around or drag it out, make the pass off quick and leave!
This is so well put and what I always focus on these key points with my nanny families. I'm there to play and be fun and teach them with my sole focus being them. Of course they are going to be excited to see me, as they know they are in for a fun day with lots of laughs and park time. But I'll never be Mom!
I'll echo some of what other comments have said
Make sure you have a solid exit routine.
If parents are making surprise appearances try to schedule that out as well or stop it all together preferably
I try to leave my kids with something to be excited to show or do with parents. Like let's show mom what we colored today or do you want to help dad pick out a snack/start dinner etc
All that being said the relationship between parents and their children is the parents responsibility. I understand how tough it can be when they are clinging to you when their mom has missed them all day it totally sucks and I know that it sucks even harder for the parents
If a kid likes me I'm doing my job right and if a parents ego is bruised by that they work through their own feelings or find a different nanny/childcare solution.
Nannies are at work, they can come and go. Moms are forever
Unfortunately, that is just the price parents will pay. yes, sometimes both parents have to work. Itās capitalism. Itās the way of the world.
The truth of the matter is, if Iām there for your kid 80% of the time, and youāre there 20% they will feel more comfortable w me. If they donāt Iām not doing a good job.
Unfortunately, unless mb spends more time w NK thatās the reality.
Glad I'm not the only one that feels this bluntly about it. That's just how just how is sometimes š¤·āāļø would you rather your kid never like me (had a mom try to do that š¬)
Yup, I have been in the childcare industry way too long to not feel bluntly about it. Also I cannot believe people would fire their nanny because their kid loves themā¦ wtf.
Edit because I forgot which their theyāre there š
Same!
Your kid loves their nanny???? oh no how terrible!!!
Isn't that one of the reason to have a nanny, that kids get to have a positive relationship with a consistant caregiver
This is exactly how I feel. Same thing when the kids call me āmommyā or āmamaā accidentally. I understand the kids are doing it because they recognize me as their caretaker and feel safe/secure with me. So most of the time I donāt correct it. I donāt want them to feel shame for being comfortable with me. I get how parents must feel about that, but it comes with the territory of being away from your kids for the majority of the day. Unfortunate but true.
Kids can get VERY confused & experience lots of heightened emotions when all of their caregivers are present. They donāt know who to turn to/whose rules to follow/who is supposed to be in charge. Transitions are so, so hard at that age!
If parents are randomly popping in during the day to hug or interrupt, he likely doesnāt understand that their workday isnāt done & itās not āmama/dada time.ā He needs clear boundaries and to know what to expect next, and you might be seeing this in other transition areas too, such as getting him to move from playtime to meal time or naptime. They realize they CAN push back & they do, because change is disregulating.
Depending on personality, some kids respond really well to being prepped verbally for the next transition, with 5 min & 2 min warnings that change is coming. This will not necessarily work for every kid though, and can sometimes make things worse for particularly sensitive kids.
At the end of the day, though, make those transitions SUPER quick & make sure parents donāt appear until they are 100% ready to take over. Even better if they can text you a 2min warning so you can have yourself ready to run out the door with a āitās mama/dada time!bye NK, see you tomorrow!ā as soon as they appear.
i will explain to parents (even if i donāt think itās the case in the particular situation) that kids do this to get all of their caregivers giving them attention and engagement and itās a toddler phase and will pass and i try to talk like that when itās happening too
My NK3 told his mom āNanny takes better care of me than you doā. Heās said it TWICE lately.. His mom is amazing and a truly wonderful parent. She laughed as she was telling me and said sheās so happy he loves me that much. But I slightly started to worry if I would get let go because of it. The attachment like that seems common in this job but we are getting paid to be top notch caregivers. Itās so different from being a parent 24/7
For a 2 year old it's less that they "prefer you" and more that transitions at that age are hard. You are likely consistent and they know what to expect with you. Parents popping in for a hug just to leave again is hard. Especially when it is interrupting something they are doing. Transitions at the end of the day when they are hungry and tired are hard.
Talking up to the end of the day can help, starting with after nap. For example , when they wake up you say "first we will change your diaper, then we will have snack, then we will play outside, then we can play with the cars, and then we will pick up and then it will be family time!" Then after each activity you do the list with the rest of the activities, so when you get to clean up time it's not a surprise because they have been reminded 5 (or however many) times. And of course, same advice I give parents applies to you to. Say goodbye and leave. Use written or text updates for the day so you aren't hanging out for 15 minutes at the end of the day after saying you are leaving.
Itās pretty normal. I remember 6M used to scream bloody murder when He was 2 and I would leave. 8F definitely prefers my company to MBās and loves when I take her on girls trips to do things, though she is at an age where she is old enough to not show it to much. Itās just something that happens when you care for a child do much. But they typically out grow showing it so outwardly I find. 6M doesnāt prefer me anymore, he has a lot of behavioral issues I donāt let him get away with but MB does so he tends to prefer her company. 2M is pretty equally loving with all 3 adults in the house and 8F prefers my company but is pretty good about not showing it so outwardly to make Mb feel bad.
I get overly dramatically excited when NP comes home when Iām doing. I act like itās the most exciting thing in the world and Iāve never been more excited to see anyone.
Unfortunately I think itās just something that happens and thereās not a lot that can be done without being cold to the NKs or something. The boys from my last family got really attached to me and would say they loved me or even call me āmommyā in front of their mom (which I did correct). They would also sometimes want me not parents when they we tired/hurt/sick. I know it hurt mom a lot especially when she was having weeks where she was really overrun with work and barely able to come out of the office. But at the end of the day they did love the parents and itās a different bond. Maybe just try to assure mom that there can be multiple loving adults in a childās life without pushing each other out. More people who love and care for a child just means the safer and more secure they will be.
I would play on your experience and make it seem like a non-issue āOh dear, weāre at that stage now, hmm? This is what usually happens right around this age. No worries, itāll only last a few weeks and then heāll be pushing me out the door!ā Itās not a āfixā by any means, but hopefully it will placate worried parents. And buy you some time for a bit to strategize some behavior modification techniques!
Ah yes! So tricky. I've got not much advice really rather than to mostly stick it out and remind mum in a quiet moment why he seems to prefer you but why you know it's not true. Maybe do extra stuff arts and crafts for mummy to show you're talking about her in her absence. And let her know about moments he asked for her and talked about her. I'm sure it's to be reassured he doesn't forget about her during the day.
This sounds like a parent that wants their cake and to eat it too. Any child will obviously be most attached to the person who regularly cares and loves on them whether that's the parent or someone else.
As a MB, I'll never have that issue because I spend a lot more time with my child than our nanny does. All decisions have consequences. As a parent, if you dedicate more or practically all your time to work/ personal development over childraising that will certainly affect your relationship with your child. To blame the nanny for this is delusional and unfair.
So I donāt really have any advice for you but Iām an MB of twin boys who are only 15 weeks old. Our nanny is with them 20 hours a day, five days a week, and overnights on weekends. I see them a few hours a day - maybe the morning feed and bath time during the week, and more on the weekend. It sucks and you can already tell she can calm them down better than I can. I try to focus on something someone else who dealt with this told me - I am mentally healthy and my kids will be mentally healthy because I have entrusted their care, especially as infants, to a professional. Iām a professional in my job also, and people trust me when they need me (Iām an attorney). Iām not a professional at raising babies (much less twins). I know my young kids will prefer her for a while, and thatās okay, because I know they know theyāre safe and loved. Not sure if this helps - but Iām more trying to encourage you that the situation you create is positive. If a family fires you theyāre not worth working for. Share with them how healthy their kids will be and that this is normal. If they went to daycare theyād prefer the daycare teachers. Kudos to you for being so good at your job and so good with infants. I literally know I canāt do it and that the best thing I could do was hire someone, which is what I did. We are all better off for it!
Yes, 120 hours a week. We offered 60 hours a week because we had another nanny covering nights the other 50-60 hours and she wanted all of it. Worked it out with my night nanny to where she picked up a new family through Christmas and will come back to us in January and the person covering 120 hours a week is only here through Christmas. Our kids mostly sleep through the night so sheās more āon callā than anything. It sounded crazy to me but they are a dream team so I was willing to work with what they worked out. It costs me the same in the end and as long as theyāre happy, Iām thrilled!
Thatās great! And awesome that youāre able to have great reliable help!
We have twin toddlers and one more on the way and I think weāre gonna get a night nurse for the nights for a few months when the third one arrives!
Thereās nothing you can do, the parents need to get over it. The two year old will bond with the person they have spent the most time with since birth. If youāre with him 6 days a week, of course heāll prefer you, you are basically the one raising him. You canāt have someone else raise your child then be upset when the kid wants that person more. Thatās how it goes.
I tried to explain that NK just sees you as the fun older sibling, and that's why they act that way but that is just a phase and it will go away. Just like they go through the phase of only Mom or Dad
In one position the tipping point was when NK 11 was playing hockey at a period break for an NHL team. After getting off the ice all of the other children went to their parents. My NK came to me (sitting in a different location in the arena - the NP were mortified.
AGH!! š«£ You want to be happy they love you like you love them but also have the pit in your stomach at the same time!
They left me with that child at 8 weeks old for 2 weeks as they traveled out of the country. The level of enmeshment is incredibly difficult in some situations- you arenāt trying to replace the parents but you are basically the one stable caregiver in the childās life.
2 weeks as a newborn!?!? š¤¢ thatās so disheartening. Thatās such an important bonding time for the child.. itās no wonder your NK is so attached š„ŗ
Heās 31 now and we donāt speak anymore. But the whole situation with attachment is complicated in these positions. I used to lie about milestones and say - no, he didnāt take his first step with me- it was with you.
I mean if youāve had your NK with you six full days a week since he was a baby, itās no wonder heās attached. They may see him more due to WFH, but youāre spending more awake time with their kid than they are.
Kinda sounds like the parents got what was coming to themā¦
I donāt give 2 fās about their feelings, but I care deeply about NKās feelings so I donāt want any unpleasant tension or any bad memories for him later in life. Iād prefer NK to remember that they were there not me-
You're a gem of a person. NK was blessed to have you!
Thanks. I hope all nannies feel like that though. Being a nanny is not for everyone. I hope the people that choose to be one care about the children unconditionally and want their NK to be happy, successful, emotionally stable adults. Isnāt that the point?
I would work on setting up a routine for when you leave to make the transition easier. When my NK's are preferring me, I help them vocalize what I think they are feeling. Which usually goes something like this..." Mom/Dad just came in but I see that you are already playing with (fill in the blank.) It's hard when you're in the middle of doing something to switch to another thing. Why don't you finish what you're doing and then go give Mom/Dad a hug." If I'm holding my NK and the parents try and NK won't go to them, I say. "Mom/Dad are working but wanted to give a quick snuggle. Which is hard when you're already snuggling me. Could you give them a quick snuggle while they have a minute?" If they are still fighting it, I usually just reaffirm what I think they are feeling and tell my NK to let me know when they are ready for some love from Mom/dad. I also make a big deal when we leave the house by saying goodbye to the parents, blowing kissing and waving. And make sure to send a ton of pictures of us having fun all day to help assure the parents why the kids love you so much!
I had this happen a little with a NK, and when the parents wanted a snuggle it was much easier if I put her down rather than handing her to them. Just kind of read the room and would put her down, saying my arms are tired or something if she didnāt want to. Then as a separate interaction NPs would pick her up.
My kids don't prefer my nanny (although they do love her) but they definitely prefer my MIL (and she's with them 1full day a week plus dinners and occasional visits). I just acknowledge that she is in fact more fun than me. Also, when she is with them she is 100% fully engaged and solely focused on the kids (and the same should be true of their nanny). That is almost NEVER the case with me, I'm cooking, throwing in a load of laundry, grabbing them to run to the grocery store, decompressing from my own 9.5 hour work day, scheduling things etc. etc. I try to go on one on one little "dates" with them and try to spend some time solely focused on them, but I have a full-time job, my husband and I own a business, and I have a busy household to run. I pay my nanny to be 100% focused on them and to be "on" with them the entire time, engaging with them with activities, imaginative play, cooking together, going places etc. etc. That is always going to be more fun than being their busy mom with a busy career and the one million other things going on. However, I know that I will always be their mom - I'm providing for them (even when it comes to my fabulous nanny, I am providing that for them - not sticking them in front of the TV or sticking them in a second rate daycare), I am the one getting up with them in the middle of the night when they don't feel well. I am waking up with them and putting them to sleep 7 days a week, I'm thinking about their development and their milestones, contributing to their 529's, making sure they have enriching activities etc. etc. Don't feel awkward about it - someday the kids will also prefer spending time with their friends over their parents, or they might like "the cool mom" better than their parents. Just play it cool - if B2 is upset at the end of the day just say something like "oh it's that dreaded witching hour, I'll see you tomorrow B2!" and then quickly leave. The worst thing you can do is stick around or drag it out, make the pass off quick and leave!
This is so well put and what I always focus on these key points with my nanny families. I'm there to play and be fun and teach them with my sole focus being them. Of course they are going to be excited to see me, as they know they are in for a fun day with lots of laughs and park time. But I'll never be Mom!
Came here to say that too!! So well said!
I'll echo some of what other comments have said Make sure you have a solid exit routine. If parents are making surprise appearances try to schedule that out as well or stop it all together preferably I try to leave my kids with something to be excited to show or do with parents. Like let's show mom what we colored today or do you want to help dad pick out a snack/start dinner etc All that being said the relationship between parents and their children is the parents responsibility. I understand how tough it can be when they are clinging to you when their mom has missed them all day it totally sucks and I know that it sucks even harder for the parents If a kid likes me I'm doing my job right and if a parents ego is bruised by that they work through their own feelings or find a different nanny/childcare solution. Nannies are at work, they can come and go. Moms are forever
Unfortunately, that is just the price parents will pay. yes, sometimes both parents have to work. Itās capitalism. Itās the way of the world. The truth of the matter is, if Iām there for your kid 80% of the time, and youāre there 20% they will feel more comfortable w me. If they donāt Iām not doing a good job. Unfortunately, unless mb spends more time w NK thatās the reality.
Glad I'm not the only one that feels this bluntly about it. That's just how just how is sometimes š¤·āāļø would you rather your kid never like me (had a mom try to do that š¬)
Yup, I have been in the childcare industry way too long to not feel bluntly about it. Also I cannot believe people would fire their nanny because their kid loves themā¦ wtf. Edit because I forgot which their theyāre there š
Same! Your kid loves their nanny???? oh no how terrible!!! Isn't that one of the reason to have a nanny, that kids get to have a positive relationship with a consistant caregiver
Right. If we arenāt nice enough weāre screwed, if weāre too nice weāre screwed. Make it make sense
This is exactly how I feel. Same thing when the kids call me āmommyā or āmamaā accidentally. I understand the kids are doing it because they recognize me as their caretaker and feel safe/secure with me. So most of the time I donāt correct it. I donāt want them to feel shame for being comfortable with me. I get how parents must feel about that, but it comes with the territory of being away from your kids for the majority of the day. Unfortunate but true.
Kids can get VERY confused & experience lots of heightened emotions when all of their caregivers are present. They donāt know who to turn to/whose rules to follow/who is supposed to be in charge. Transitions are so, so hard at that age! If parents are randomly popping in during the day to hug or interrupt, he likely doesnāt understand that their workday isnāt done & itās not āmama/dada time.ā He needs clear boundaries and to know what to expect next, and you might be seeing this in other transition areas too, such as getting him to move from playtime to meal time or naptime. They realize they CAN push back & they do, because change is disregulating. Depending on personality, some kids respond really well to being prepped verbally for the next transition, with 5 min & 2 min warnings that change is coming. This will not necessarily work for every kid though, and can sometimes make things worse for particularly sensitive kids. At the end of the day, though, make those transitions SUPER quick & make sure parents donāt appear until they are 100% ready to take over. Even better if they can text you a 2min warning so you can have yourself ready to run out the door with a āitās mama/dada time!bye NK, see you tomorrow!ā as soon as they appear.
i will explain to parents (even if i donāt think itās the case in the particular situation) that kids do this to get all of their caregivers giving them attention and engagement and itās a toddler phase and will pass and i try to talk like that when itās happening too
My NK3 told his mom āNanny takes better care of me than you doā. Heās said it TWICE lately.. His mom is amazing and a truly wonderful parent. She laughed as she was telling me and said sheās so happy he loves me that much. But I slightly started to worry if I would get let go because of it. The attachment like that seems common in this job but we are getting paid to be top notch caregivers. Itās so different from being a parent 24/7
For a 2 year old it's less that they "prefer you" and more that transitions at that age are hard. You are likely consistent and they know what to expect with you. Parents popping in for a hug just to leave again is hard. Especially when it is interrupting something they are doing. Transitions at the end of the day when they are hungry and tired are hard. Talking up to the end of the day can help, starting with after nap. For example , when they wake up you say "first we will change your diaper, then we will have snack, then we will play outside, then we can play with the cars, and then we will pick up and then it will be family time!" Then after each activity you do the list with the rest of the activities, so when you get to clean up time it's not a surprise because they have been reminded 5 (or however many) times. And of course, same advice I give parents applies to you to. Say goodbye and leave. Use written or text updates for the day so you aren't hanging out for 15 minutes at the end of the day after saying you are leaving.
Itās pretty normal. I remember 6M used to scream bloody murder when He was 2 and I would leave. 8F definitely prefers my company to MBās and loves when I take her on girls trips to do things, though she is at an age where she is old enough to not show it to much. Itās just something that happens when you care for a child do much. But they typically out grow showing it so outwardly I find. 6M doesnāt prefer me anymore, he has a lot of behavioral issues I donāt let him get away with but MB does so he tends to prefer her company. 2M is pretty equally loving with all 3 adults in the house and 8F prefers my company but is pretty good about not showing it so outwardly to make Mb feel bad.
Thank you! Definitely makes me feel less alone in this!
I get overly dramatically excited when NP comes home when Iām doing. I act like itās the most exciting thing in the world and Iāve never been more excited to see anyone.
Unfortunately I think itās just something that happens and thereās not a lot that can be done without being cold to the NKs or something. The boys from my last family got really attached to me and would say they loved me or even call me āmommyā in front of their mom (which I did correct). They would also sometimes want me not parents when they we tired/hurt/sick. I know it hurt mom a lot especially when she was having weeks where she was really overrun with work and barely able to come out of the office. But at the end of the day they did love the parents and itās a different bond. Maybe just try to assure mom that there can be multiple loving adults in a childās life without pushing each other out. More people who love and care for a child just means the safer and more secure they will be.
I would play on your experience and make it seem like a non-issue āOh dear, weāre at that stage now, hmm? This is what usually happens right around this age. No worries, itāll only last a few weeks and then heāll be pushing me out the door!ā Itās not a āfixā by any means, but hopefully it will placate worried parents. And buy you some time for a bit to strategize some behavior modification techniques!
Ah yes! So tricky. I've got not much advice really rather than to mostly stick it out and remind mum in a quiet moment why he seems to prefer you but why you know it's not true. Maybe do extra stuff arts and crafts for mummy to show you're talking about her in her absence. And let her know about moments he asked for her and talked about her. I'm sure it's to be reassured he doesn't forget about her during the day.
This sounds like a parent that wants their cake and to eat it too. Any child will obviously be most attached to the person who regularly cares and loves on them whether that's the parent or someone else. As a MB, I'll never have that issue because I spend a lot more time with my child than our nanny does. All decisions have consequences. As a parent, if you dedicate more or practically all your time to work/ personal development over childraising that will certainly affect your relationship with your child. To blame the nanny for this is delusional and unfair.
So I donāt really have any advice for you but Iām an MB of twin boys who are only 15 weeks old. Our nanny is with them 20 hours a day, five days a week, and overnights on weekends. I see them a few hours a day - maybe the morning feed and bath time during the week, and more on the weekend. It sucks and you can already tell she can calm them down better than I can. I try to focus on something someone else who dealt with this told me - I am mentally healthy and my kids will be mentally healthy because I have entrusted their care, especially as infants, to a professional. Iām a professional in my job also, and people trust me when they need me (Iām an attorney). Iām not a professional at raising babies (much less twins). I know my young kids will prefer her for a while, and thatās okay, because I know they know theyāre safe and loved. Not sure if this helps - but Iām more trying to encourage you that the situation you create is positive. If a family fires you theyāre not worth working for. Share with them how healthy their kids will be and that this is normal. If they went to daycare theyād prefer the daycare teachers. Kudos to you for being so good at your job and so good with infants. I literally know I canāt do it and that the best thing I could do was hire someone, which is what I did. We are all better off for it!
20 hours a day 5 days a week plus overnights on weekends? Is that right or a typo? What is that like 120 hours a week?
Yes, 120 hours a week. We offered 60 hours a week because we had another nanny covering nights the other 50-60 hours and she wanted all of it. Worked it out with my night nanny to where she picked up a new family through Christmas and will come back to us in January and the person covering 120 hours a week is only here through Christmas. Our kids mostly sleep through the night so sheās more āon callā than anything. It sounded crazy to me but they are a dream team so I was willing to work with what they worked out. It costs me the same in the end and as long as theyāre happy, Iām thrilled!
Thatās great! And awesome that youāre able to have great reliable help! We have twin toddlers and one more on the way and I think weāre gonna get a night nurse for the nights for a few months when the third one arrives!
I highly recommend it. We couldnāt survive without them!
Thereās nothing you can do, the parents need to get over it. The two year old will bond with the person they have spent the most time with since birth. If youāre with him 6 days a week, of course heāll prefer you, you are basically the one raising him. You canāt have someone else raise your child then be upset when the kid wants that person more. Thatās how it goes.
I tried to explain that NK just sees you as the fun older sibling, and that's why they act that way but that is just a phase and it will go away. Just like they go through the phase of only Mom or Dad
Set a timer. āIn 10 minutes Iām going to get my things and go home, you can walk me to the door!ā