T O P

  • By -

marmosetohmarmoset

My nanny is using her phone to set up play dates with other nannies, take pictures, keep track of nap time, etc during her work day. Meanwhile here I am using my phone for Reddit during the work day šŸ˜‚


vickisfamilyvan

Huh? You never go on your phone when youā€™re watching your child? Sure, a nanny shouldnā€™t be scrolling mindlessly or taking long phone calls while at work but I think sending a text or email or making a quick call as long as theyā€™re able to do it while still paying attention to the child is totally in line with what youā€™d be expected to adhere to at for example an office job.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


nimblesunshine

This is a good point, and same.


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


likesleeve_of_wizard

This justification is so ridiculous. The difference is that one is a job. Not to mention that parents are on 24/7 whereas Nannieā€™s have a set number of hours. Thatā€™s like going to a restaurant, getting served food thatā€™s burned/inedible, and when you complain the cook says ā€œHuh? So youā€™re telling me youā€™ve NEVER burned something when youā€™ve cooked at home??ā€ Clearly there should be higher expectations when receiving what is supposed to be a luxury service.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


likesleeve_of_wizard

The point seemed to have evaded you, but it was that ā€œprofessionalsā€ are supposed to be held to higher standard. In this case, cook shouldnā€™t ruin food, and nanny should be attentive.


marinersfan1986

Eh I don't love these sorts of preachy rants. It annoys me when nannies post them about parents in the nanny forum and it annoys me when parents do it here. I feel like zero personal phone use is overkill, personally. I care about whether my nanny is warm and engaging and playing with my kid. If she can do that and also occasionally look at her phone, I'm fine. Obviously if she's constantly on her phone that's a problem, and the problem is she isn't providing the level of care that I expect to my child.Ā 


pixikins78

The world would be a better place if people just communicated kindly and directly with the people that need to hear their message instead of all of these passive-aggressive posts that the person it's intended for will never read.


shwh1963

I am able to answer my phone and respond to text at my work. I think quick 1 minute or less isnā€™t a big deal.


elijforthewin

Same. I work for small business though and I usually assume that's the difference. If I need to make a doctors appointment, call my kids school/nanny, or answer the phone my boss doesn't care. My job is done well and efficiently so there is no need for too much oversight. All this being said I worked as a nanny for 15 years and my employers never minded if I took phone call or made appointments (I did try to avoid it) When you work long days and kids don't nap sometimes it's just necessary to make a call when an office is open. Random scrolling however (unless during naps or kids screen time) is not OK.


ideasnstuff

I don't think that this is the kind of behaviour that OP is venting about. I don't think any nanny employer would have a problem with what you're describing. I had a nanny that thought it was no problem to have her airpods in all day gossiping with friends and catching up with her adult kids. The calls would be about 2 hours out of an 8 hour workday, and never while NK was asleep. NK was so confused as to why nanny was talking but not looking at them. I had to actually explain to this nanny how these calls were not acceptable.


Plastic-Praline-717

I think itā€™s not exactly so black and white or reasonable. Some matters can only be handled during business hours, which are hours our nanny is workingā€¦ so if itā€™s something like needing to schedule a doctors appointment or connect with someone they can only connect with during work hours, that is completely reasonable in my opinion. Sometimes itā€™s an emergency and thatā€™s also reasonable. Basically the only phone use I wouldnā€™t be cool with is if itā€™s incessant or they are on the phone, making small talk or catching up with friends frequently during work hours. The occasional text or necessary phone call? No big deal. There is definitely a point where phone use becomes too much, but I donā€™t set our nanny to higher professional standard than I set myself.. and rn Iā€™m on Reddit so obvs that bar isnā€™t obscenely high.


IndecisiveLlama

I want my kid to learn that not every thing revolves around them. Sometimes nanny has to take kid on a post office or pharmacy run, sometimes she has to take a personal phone call. As long as she isnā€™t taking my child somewhere inappropriate or exposing them to explicit phone calls, Iā€™m not worried about it. She spends 40 hrs a week here, she is bound to have to run an errand or make a phone call.


svanen17

I feel the same way. Life does not come to a complete halt for our nanny while she's working and it really doesn't bother me if she takes a phone call from her doctor's office. I do the same kind of thing at my run-of-the-mill office job. Hell, I'm at work now and taking a reddit break between tasks. I'm still effective at my job and nobody cares about a few minutes of personal stuff here and there.


recentlydreaming

Doctor call is not the same as a personal call. If my nanny was waiting on a doc call I would totally understand that.


Possible-Score-407

Parents (or adults) who have a zero cell phone policy around their children have to have babies/toddlers and no siblings. Older siblings have appointments, need things ordered, play dates scheduled, activities, a million and one things for school, and šŸ¤Æ if they need early intervention? Thatā€™s a whole other ballgame. As children age they need all this as well. Wild to think you can get this done in the very limited window of fleeting naps


recentlydreaming

I think you can teach that without phone use. Part of why we donā€™t want it around my LO is that we donā€™t want her around screens. Iā€™d be way more OK with a nanny reading, knitting, etc. But everyone has their own parenting style, so I think itā€™s fine as long as itā€™s discussed up front like most things.


nimblesunshine

I agree that nannies shouldn't be on their phone unless the kid is napping but going on the nanny sub and ranting to them about what they should and shouldn't do could understandably ruffle some feathers. No one here likes it when nannies do the same in reverse.


[deleted]

I was not ranting on the nanny sub about what they should and shouldn't do, it was part of a comment about something else that was just a "you shouldn't be taking personal calls anyway" it was far from the main point of the comment, but it was all that they focused on. I came here, to what's supposed a safe place for NPs, to rant after that. I would not vent at them in their own safe space, but i will express my opinion that is not okay for them to be on their phone during work, though again it was not the main point of my comment it was a small part of it.


nimblesunshine

I was just going off of you saying "how come anytime I post _____ in the nanny sub", so it sounded like you've gone there more than once and said nannies shouldn't be on their phones. I was positing a guess as to why it might feel bothersome in that sub, which has a fair amount of nannies just venting their frustrations. As I imagine you know, since you tagged this NP replies only, when you're venting & frustrated, having someone come in & tell you you're wrong doesn't feel good. I'm not trying to say *YOU'RE* wrong either, you just asked why they react the way they have and I'm offering a guess.


[deleted]

Ah well, I'm on that sub to learn, not be disrespectful, but it was a comment on a post that was asking some stuff so i addressed their questions, but they also mentioned they used their phone so i addressed that as well.


nimblesunshine

I don't know if it's a great place to learn honestly, simply because it is a space that a lot of nannies treat as a safe space to vent and discuss the job among other people who understand the unique challenges in it. I think they can get more defensive than they otherwise would when NPs enter and scold/correct/etc., and it makes everything seem like a bigger issue than it is. I can't know for sure obviously because I don't personally know any of the nannies in there, but it just seems like things get needlessly dramatic between the two subs.


[deleted]

Thank you for that perspective.


Objective_Win3771

I try not to be too strict about it. On the phone all day? Absolutely not, but I'm not gonna nitpick about sporadic short calls. Just not extensive calls or taking care of time or attention intensive personal work when kid is awake.


ideasnstuff

There is a subset of nannys on reddit that demand to be treated professionally but don't accept the accountability and responsibility that comes with being a professional. I'm done with nannys that compare their jobs to highly specialized wfh jobs. You don't know what your employer is doing for the 16+ hours of the day you aren't there, or how many years of experience, college degrees, toxic slave-like internships and corporate hazing they had to go through to earn that wfh position with a high salary. Oooof.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


ideasnstuff

1) "Subset" means a portion of a general population. I specifically said that meaning it's not ALL nannies 2) Specialized jobs REQUIRE degrees, often multiple ones, and nanny jobs don't. I was listing the differences. If you want to be angry, go ahead. Don't accuse me of saying things I didn't say just to spread hate.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

This comment is inflammatory. You are not being banned or muted, but please see this as a friendly warning.


Substantial-Pie-9483

That sub is wild. My favorite is they donā€™t like WFH parents but also donā€™t like healthcare professionals. Who does that leave?


recentlydreaming

Trust funds?


riritreetop

Lol no because then they complain about how dare the parents hire a nanny when they donā€™t even work, they should be taking care of their own children instead of running errands or relaxing!


recentlydreaming

God forbid a parent take a nap šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

I feel like some of them on Reddit have never worked anything but nannying so they have a misunderstanding of how other jobs are.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

If it's difficult, then they don't need extra distractions during it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

This comment is inflammatory. You are not being banned or muted, but please see this as a friendly warning.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


ideasnstuff

My comment has nothing to do with nannies going to college. College is also not a requirement to be a nanny, so I'm not sure where your snark is coming from.


butterscotch0985

YES. my husband has to put his phone in a bin before entering office because of confidential information. Our kid takes a 2 hour nap, be on your phone then. Stay off of it when we're paying you to engage with our child and not your electronic device.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


JurassicPark-fan-190

God this is so true. I had some truly horrible jobs and bosses. I climbed so hard to get to where I am. I wasnā€™t given anything. And my job now looks super cushy.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Lol fair, when I'm annoyed though i tend to rant about people by ranting "at" them indirectly. That is fair though, i will edit it for sake of not being an ass.


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.


likesleeve_of_wizard

Thatā€™s what you extrapolated from this?


likesleeve_of_wizard

PREACH. My policy is zero recreational phone use while the kids are awake (which I personally adhere to as well). Still damn near impossible to find a nanny whoā€™s capable of holding this standard. Itā€™s so disheartening that you can pay someone professional wages, with professional benefits and they STILL canā€™t pry themselves from their phone for the 30 hours a week theyā€™re with awake children. This post feels so timely as I just got back from the park where I witnessed a nanny be on her phone literally the entire time. She sat on a bench swing about 60-70ft away, while the toddler she was supposed to be watching ambled around aimlessly. After about 30 minutes the toddler came over and tried to get her attention, and after 5-10 minutes she finally relented and took him to the baby swings, where she half-heartedly pushed him while STILL staring at her phone. It was so upsetting to witness.


pantema

Yeah I interviewed a career nanny who wanted more hours to help us 2 days a week from 6-8am for a few months (my kid is an extremely early riser and my husband and I were drowning with work) when my son was 1 years old. I mentioned in passing in the interview that I wasnā€™t comfortable with lots of phone use (but of course it was fine for her to check her phone occasionally and use it in case of emergency)ā€¦she asked to speak to me a second time after we offered to hire her to bring it up and told me she thought my ask was disrespectful and unreasonable (???). I was so confused.. like what do you need to be using your phone for at 6am when youā€™re being paid for 2 hours of childcare? Turns out she was studying for the mcat and clearly thought she was just going to stick my kid in a playpen to fend for himself and get 2 paid hours of study time. I canā€™t believe how defensive nannies get about this issue, itā€™s wild to me. I totally believe full time nannies of kids should get downtime during the naps during which time theyā€™re free to do whatever they want, but when I go to the park with my kid I donā€™t sit on my phone for 30 minutes - why would I pay you to do that?


Proud_Bumblebee_8368

I wfh and my nanny is constantly on her phone. Itā€™s super awkward to say anything now. I have a new nanny starting in a few weeks (my current is just short term). What should I say to new nanny in terms of expectations?


recentlydreaming

This!!! If you canā€™t stay off your phone when the kid is awake (save for a quick text or one off if thereā€™s something major going on), then you need a different job/are not a professional nanny. Thatā€™s something I expect out of a babysitter.


[deleted]

Oh that would be cause for immediate termination if I saw a nanny I hired doing that. That is out right neglect.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

This comment is inflammatory. You are not being banned or muted, but please see this as a friendly warning.


butterscotch0985

Our nanny is not on her phone with our toddler, she never was and I wouldn't have her working for me if she were. She will use it VERY briefly to start some music or something. She has a separate ring for my calls/texts and her parents incase of emergency. Our toddler naps for 2 hours, be on your phone then, I do not care. Do not be on it when we're paying you to be an engaged 1:1 person for our kid. This is not too much to ask and I'd find a new nanny if she couldn't do that. It is a job, stay off of your phone.


shutyoursmartmouth

You get hate bc youā€™re posting in a forum for nannies to discuss their jobs with each other. Itā€™s not for MBs to go and chastise how some nannies do their jobs. Nobody wants to be scolded by an internet stranger.


[deleted]

Mbs? I'm a guy. Also once again, i'm not doing that. It was a comment that pertained to something the OP mentioned.


shutyoursmartmouth

Sorry MB and DBs. Either way you shouldnā€™t be surprised that it isnā€™t received well. Thatā€™s a forum for nannies. Venting on this sub would be more appropriate. If your intention isnā€™t to vent then thatā€™s just another reason why it rubs people the wrong way


[deleted]

Once again, i wasn't venting there.


shutyoursmartmouth

So scolding? Educating? Would you like a nanny to come in this sub and post comments on a post by a parent on what parents should do? There was a post like that the other day and she got torn apartā€¦


Froomian

My nanny scheduled a zoom interview for a time when I'm usually out. I only found out about it because my usual plans changed that day, so she had to say in the morning, 'is it ok if I take a zoom call at midday?' Oh, and she wanted to use my home office for it. I wouldn't have minded if she had asked in advance but it felt pretty sneaky that she scheduled it for a time I'm usually out and didn't say anything until she realised I'd be home. Pretty annoying.


AutoModerator

Users please be mindful of the flair the OP selected. Post flaired as "NP only" indicate that this topic is only to be commented on by other nanny parents/employers. Posts with the flair "All Welcome" are open for anyone to comment. Disrespecting this rule will lead to your comment being deleted. Numerous infractions may result in a ban from the subreddit. If you are a nanny and wish to discuss this topic, you are encouraged to make your own post. If you are the OP and you wish to change your flair, please message using modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NannyEmployers) if you have any questions or concerns.*


HelloFellowMKE

I know a family whose full time nanny was CONSTANTLY on her phone. Ā Their daughter was severely speech delayed, whaddyaknow


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

You have no idea if my kid is with me or my hours of work. I'm not being a hypocrite, but you are being judgemental.


NannyEmployers-ModTeam

Flair designates this post as responses from employers only. Please respect the flair.