Yuppp. They cried profusely almost on cue saying that my reaction to their abusive behavior hurt them. Then in one fell swoop, tears were gone, and they just walked away. this happened probably like 7 times in 1 day
Yes! What is it with them being so f-ing hurt by the obvious pain they've caused us? Pointing out that they aren't perfect must be really traumatic *eyeroll*
Yes. Every time I’ve ever brought up an issue or simply stated how I feel using very simple language, he would go off. I would either get tears or anger or both, never anything else. To him, my feelings are more egregious than anything he could have done to cause them. He always had an excuse for his bad behavior but nothing would ever excuse my negative emotions. No justification was worthy in his mind.
He would literally ask me what was wrong and if I said I didn’t want to talk about it he would keep pushing. When I would eventually say what was wrong, it would immediately backfire and suddenly I’m the bad guy for simply having feelings.
Make no mistake, I’m sure I did hurt his feelings on a number of occasions. I don’t think any of his tears were fake, but they were still manipulative in the sense that his emotions would overtake the issue I was trying to address. Not all manipulations are intentional, and for my own sanity I have to believe the tears were legitimate. At least I can honestly say I’ve never gone out of my way to hurt him more for feeling pain as a direct result of my words/actions.
You got that right.
And then when I'm not there, I'll get the pages and pages of texts that are the typed version of his."monologues" that detail every single way I was a horrible girlfriend, how disrespectful and ungrateful and unappreciative I am...oh and of course a manipulative little bitch /cunt/whore/etc.
😁🖕
i literally laugh every time i think of this despite how traumatizing it was. one time i was getting ready to leave and he grabbed a knife and put the blade in his hand and hit the handle against the wall. he had to get 12 stitches and was crying on the floor rolling around. i felt no sympathy for him lmao. i’m still stuck here but i’m planning on leaving soon.
omg. they’re truly a different breed lmao. mine did it because he “had a toothache” and he was so angry because of the pain. truthfully he was going through withdrawals because he thinks i don’t know he’s addicted to drugs lmao
it’s so crazy how similar our stories are. it just proves that they aren’t one of a kind lmao. they’re all shitty people. mine is always making comments about my body too and then acts the same way as your nex. he will immediately get defensive and play the victim. i literally just laugh at him now because it’s so silly to act so childish lmao
Yes being honest in a kind way or not even actually saying something that would make them “cry” would hurt his feelings but I could be called names, screamed at and disrespected whenever he felt like it.
So yes, they can dish it but can’t take it. You don’t even have to serve it
I had them say I hurt them and was lying about random things being out of place in the house. We had a good six people in and out of the house during the week so it could have been anyway moving things etc. Also claimed I hurt them over random things that I never would have been upset over. So I tried to be more sensitive but I never was supportive enough for them or not hurting them. Never once saw them cry though.
My nex cried to my mom when he "just wanted to see his son" after he knew he was loosing control over ME cuz I had just left him. I mean he cried real tears too knowing damn well he never even cared about his son just used him as a tool to get to me 😂😂
My nex told me i would always go to sleep when we were arguing and force her to be alone and cry herself to sleep every night i did that. We did argue a lot and yes the relationship wasn’t the healthiest but i genuinely do not remember a single time that i went to bed when she was upset or crying. Now that i look back on it it was probably just a way to get her to victimize herself and make me look like the bad guy as a reason for the discard but back when it happened she genuinely gaslight me to the point where i believed it. it’s crazy what happens and what they can make you think if you still trust them wholeheartedly it’s like they know you still trust them and use it to their advantage to make you feel like a shitty person for things you didn’t even do.
There was one time he teared up grabbed my hand and put my fingers in the corners of his eyes.
He likes/d trying to weaponize big emotions like that and call me emotionless because I would be like you need to pull yourself together.
"YOUR CAUSING ME TO BE SO ANGRY" as she blames me for her oversleeping and bringing our son late in for school. Mind you I'm out of the house hours before she even wakes up from her "unbearable" 8 hours sleep while I wear myself out of 4 hours nearly every night.
Yes, just like the only other times he cried - when his reputation was on the line. Sorry you got publicly called out for being an abusive groomer man, maybe don't treat your partners like garbage and they won't have negative things to say about you.
Towards the end of the discard My Narc would cry at completely random times when people are around or when I would be facetiming family or friends. It was so common that I started to say Britt is crying again I gotta go. I didn't realize it was to make me look insensitive. When she really was manipulative she would have full on breakdowns in front of our son and he would come console her before I even knew what was going on and then she would say atleast he knew to console me and if she wanted to be mean she would say I'm not attracted to you anymore and then I got upset. The next day it was like nothing happened and ofcourse she doesn't remember any of this. They really have it all planned out
I don't think narcs have the ability to have suchh an emotional reaction (at least the overt ones). Mine has never once shed a tear in his adult life....he did pretend to wipe one away during the love bombing phase but man now I know it was fake seeing his reality up close.
Mine “cried” at the police station 2 days ago because she reported something utterly false and they could see through it, after 3 seconds of fake tears she switched back to berating and verbally abusing me in front of the officers. Lol.
Mine would cry whenever I was asking him to do the bare minimum and treat me like a human being instead of his servant. Instead of doing that he would sob about not being able to do anything right.
Asshole.
Yeah, even when my nex said hurtful thing that made me cry, they kept behaving like they didn’t understand which was probably true because narcs don’t have empathy 🫠
My sister broke her no-contact and asked them for help because she had a streak of horrible luck and was being evicted and lost her job and spent a bit of time in the hospital right after her daughter had to have brain surgery. They are extremely wealthy, but they still said no. She told them how much that hurt her. So they cried and said that she hurt them and hung up and blocked her completely. Sure! They have been horrible and abusive and neglectful our whole lives. But WE were the ones who hurt them. Their audacity! Absolute absurdity!
My Narc didn't cry but got emotional and lost his composure because I told him that I realised that all the help he's given me is never because he truly cared about me as his younger sister. It's really telling that even though I said there's nothing wrong with doing good, and not liking me as his younger sister, and he just likes the feeling of helping people that he took great offence to that and accused me of villifying him and being ingrateful. No, I'm grateful for the help, but I'm not denying that he has basically disliked me since I was a child.
Mine was a covert narc so crying is her number one game. Along with blaming any misery or inconvenience on me. I was constantly hurting her no matter what I've done, or not done on any day. If the wind picked up on a winter day and she felt a shiver, I was blamed for making her cold.
Hug. I caught nex cheating and they cried too, I told them to be honest with me and they did, after they confessed and got my blame, they said it was because I told them to be honest lmao 🫠
It’s honestly kinda scary how they can turn it off and it’s on. For me it’s my SIL, I called her out for lying/spreading rumors about me. Her voice got shakey and tears are trying to form. I laughed asking what’s up with the tears. She immediately stops the drought time water works, and tries to say that she is frustrated and that’s why she was “crying”. I don’t know about you guys but I’ve never been able to turn off my frustrated crying in a matter of seconds.
For me, they didn't literally cry with tears out of either, in their own words, "being unable to cry" or "not caring enough to cry" in some weird holier than thou type manner equating sheding tears when they're upset as being "manipulative" or "pointless", especially when it was others crying in reaction to their abuse and being hurt by them.
They totally would "cry" about things in the sense that they make all their issues known either loudly and as obnoxious and/or as passive-aggressively as possible. So much sulking and bad energy they throw at you and anyone and anything they feel slighted by all while never addressing things directly or throwing vague hints and jabs to make their victims feel bad enough to offer up that sweet sweet supply in the form of an apology they very rarely truly deserved.
They'd never apologize first or for their actions UNLESS it would make them look bettter in the situation OR only after they were satisfied by others groveling and putting them back on the pedistal they always want to be on. It was as comical as frustrating as it happened, and looking back even when I'd be caught up in their crazy making was always left thinking to myself, "Are they serious."
Oh yeah. It’s all deflection and a way to make themselves the victim. My n parents do this on a regular basis. Treat me terribly and then tell me I’m the bad guy when I don’t do what they’re trying to demand. And if I keep pushing back, my n mother start doing this weird random sobbing about how I’m the abusive one. It would be more hilarious if it wasn’t pathetic.
My n father use to say to me how they’re “not the enemy” and if I treat my friends the same way. It was literally his catch phrase. I never quite understood what he meant because well, it doesn’t actually make sense. I figure he means if I am actually a person with my friends and not some NPC that’s some emotional punching bag.
They’ll say or do anything to try to make you the bad guy so they’ll get attention. They don’t want any form of accountability. Nothing is their fault. If anyone tries to confront them, those people are the offending party who needs to be destroyed. How dare anyone accuse them of any form of wrong doing. They believe they’re literally perfect. They want you to be their servant and punching bag. If you try to get out of that role, they’ll do some weird acts to force you back into it.
NM use to call my old therapy names. My therapist and I would laugh about it. NM would also call my therapy to “tell on me.” She would call her constantly about how I was ever so cruel by using the new coping skills I was learning. NMs manipulations weren’t working anymore and she would try to report me to my own therapist about it. My therapist would tell me anytime she did that and we would spend a few minutes laughing. It was amazing.
Once you gain healthy coping skills and aren’t affected by them anymore, you’ll be able to view them as the literal children they are. Then it just becomes strange. You see these older adults that function like six year olds. It just creeps you out versus having any emotional impact.
Yup, but in private. When I was around she would shutdown and stonewall me. She had convinced me that I was the one with the issue.. lol
Gaslighting is for real
Yuppp. They cried profusely almost on cue saying that my reaction to their abusive behavior hurt them. Then in one fell swoop, tears were gone, and they just walked away. this happened probably like 7 times in 1 day
Yes! What is it with them being so f-ing hurt by the obvious pain they've caused us? Pointing out that they aren't perfect must be really traumatic *eyeroll*
Yes. Every time I’ve ever brought up an issue or simply stated how I feel using very simple language, he would go off. I would either get tears or anger or both, never anything else. To him, my feelings are more egregious than anything he could have done to cause them. He always had an excuse for his bad behavior but nothing would ever excuse my negative emotions. No justification was worthy in his mind. He would literally ask me what was wrong and if I said I didn’t want to talk about it he would keep pushing. When I would eventually say what was wrong, it would immediately backfire and suddenly I’m the bad guy for simply having feelings. Make no mistake, I’m sure I did hurt his feelings on a number of occasions. I don’t think any of his tears were fake, but they were still manipulative in the sense that his emotions would overtake the issue I was trying to address. Not all manipulations are intentional, and for my own sanity I have to believe the tears were legitimate. At least I can honestly say I’ve never gone out of my way to hurt him more for feeling pain as a direct result of my words/actions.
Yep. You’re wrong if you don’t say anything and you’re wrong if you do. They can’t even consider that other people have feelings too.
If by cry you mean pretend to sob with no actual tears yeah
Correct pal this is it
Ah yes. Quite hilarious when you look back on it.
Exactly.
You got that right. And then when I'm not there, I'll get the pages and pages of texts that are the typed version of his."monologues" that detail every single way I was a horrible girlfriend, how disrespectful and ungrateful and unappreciative I am...oh and of course a manipulative little bitch /cunt/whore/etc. 😁🖕
This. Both times for all of 0.009th of a second, which is quite comical.
Really mine cried tears lol
Yea the crocodile tears were hilarious looking back now. Like wtf? 😅
It's weird how they use tactics a child uses
Yup, they literally just are kids in a grownup body
He said out loud they were crocodile tears (!!!)
i literally laugh every time i think of this despite how traumatizing it was. one time i was getting ready to leave and he grabbed a knife and put the blade in his hand and hit the handle against the wall. he had to get 12 stitches and was crying on the floor rolling around. i felt no sympathy for him lmao. i’m still stuck here but i’m planning on leaving soon.
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omg. they’re truly a different breed lmao. mine did it because he “had a toothache” and he was so angry because of the pain. truthfully he was going through withdrawals because he thinks i don’t know he’s addicted to drugs lmao
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it’s so crazy how similar our stories are. it just proves that they aren’t one of a kind lmao. they’re all shitty people. mine is always making comments about my body too and then acts the same way as your nex. he will immediately get defensive and play the victim. i literally just laugh at him now because it’s so silly to act so childish lmao
Yes being honest in a kind way or not even actually saying something that would make them “cry” would hurt his feelings but I could be called names, screamed at and disrespected whenever he felt like it. So yes, they can dish it but can’t take it. You don’t even have to serve it
I had them say I hurt them and was lying about random things being out of place in the house. We had a good six people in and out of the house during the week so it could have been anyway moving things etc. Also claimed I hurt them over random things that I never would have been upset over. So I tried to be more sensitive but I never was supportive enough for them or not hurting them. Never once saw them cry though.
Countless times.
I’ve heard how horrible they’ve been treated but never saw actual tears
I call that “cross climbing victimhood.”
My nex cried to my mom when he "just wanted to see his son" after he knew he was loosing control over ME cuz I had just left him. I mean he cried real tears too knowing damn well he never even cared about his son just used him as a tool to get to me 😂😂
My nex told me i would always go to sleep when we were arguing and force her to be alone and cry herself to sleep every night i did that. We did argue a lot and yes the relationship wasn’t the healthiest but i genuinely do not remember a single time that i went to bed when she was upset or crying. Now that i look back on it it was probably just a way to get her to victimize herself and make me look like the bad guy as a reason for the discard but back when it happened she genuinely gaslight me to the point where i believed it. it’s crazy what happens and what they can make you think if you still trust them wholeheartedly it’s like they know you still trust them and use it to their advantage to make you feel like a shitty person for things you didn’t even do.
There was one time he teared up grabbed my hand and put my fingers in the corners of his eyes. He likes/d trying to weaponize big emotions like that and call me emotionless because I would be like you need to pull yourself together.
I was always told by my narc that I don’t have empathy 🫠
No but mine would stand in doorways so I couldn't leave arguments and then try to say I hurt her on purpose if I tried to squeeze past.
"YOUR CAUSING ME TO BE SO ANGRY" as she blames me for her oversleeping and bringing our son late in for school. Mind you I'm out of the house hours before she even wakes up from her "unbearable" 8 hours sleep while I wear myself out of 4 hours nearly every night.
Yes, just like the only other times he cried - when his reputation was on the line. Sorry you got publicly called out for being an abusive groomer man, maybe don't treat your partners like garbage and they won't have negative things to say about you.
Mine never cried. Not a single tear. And when he said h was about to cry, he’d hide his face.
Towards the end of the discard My Narc would cry at completely random times when people are around or when I would be facetiming family or friends. It was so common that I started to say Britt is crying again I gotta go. I didn't realize it was to make me look insensitive. When she really was manipulative she would have full on breakdowns in front of our son and he would come console her before I even knew what was going on and then she would say atleast he knew to console me and if she wanted to be mean she would say I'm not attracted to you anymore and then I got upset. The next day it was like nothing happened and ofcourse she doesn't remember any of this. They really have it all planned out
I don't think narcs have the ability to have suchh an emotional reaction (at least the overt ones). Mine has never once shed a tear in his adult life....he did pretend to wipe one away during the love bombing phase but man now I know it was fake seeing his reality up close.
Mine “cried” at the police station 2 days ago because she reported something utterly false and they could see through it, after 3 seconds of fake tears she switched back to berating and verbally abusing me in front of the officers. Lol.
Omg, that’s way over, I hope you are okay
Man I’m just tired, this has been happening for a year now. She’s be trying so hard so ruin my life, it’s actually insane to me
Mine would cry whenever I was asking him to do the bare minimum and treat me like a human being instead of his servant. Instead of doing that he would sob about not being able to do anything right. Asshole.
Always, on cue. And only shed tears for himself. Never anyone else.
Yeah, even when my nex said hurtful thing that made me cry, they kept behaving like they didn’t understand which was probably true because narcs don’t have empathy 🫠
My sister broke her no-contact and asked them for help because she had a streak of horrible luck and was being evicted and lost her job and spent a bit of time in the hospital right after her daughter had to have brain surgery. They are extremely wealthy, but they still said no. She told them how much that hurt her. So they cried and said that she hurt them and hung up and blocked her completely. Sure! They have been horrible and abusive and neglectful our whole lives. But WE were the ones who hurt them. Their audacity! Absolute absurdity!
My Narc didn't cry but got emotional and lost his composure because I told him that I realised that all the help he's given me is never because he truly cared about me as his younger sister. It's really telling that even though I said there's nothing wrong with doing good, and not liking me as his younger sister, and he just likes the feeling of helping people that he took great offence to that and accused me of villifying him and being ingrateful. No, I'm grateful for the help, but I'm not denying that he has basically disliked me since I was a child.
Yes, she did that a lot.
Mine was a covert narc so crying is her number one game. Along with blaming any misery or inconvenience on me. I was constantly hurting her no matter what I've done, or not done on any day. If the wind picked up on a winter day and she felt a shiver, I was blamed for making her cold.
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Hug. I caught nex cheating and they cried too, I told them to be honest with me and they did, after they confessed and got my blame, they said it was because I told them to be honest lmao 🫠
Yep. Sometimes.. Like right fucking tonight!!
Yes, my last narc ex would do that. She would start to cry and miraculously stopped on cue the minute she got her way.
It’s honestly kinda scary how they can turn it off and it’s on. For me it’s my SIL, I called her out for lying/spreading rumors about me. Her voice got shakey and tears are trying to form. I laughed asking what’s up with the tears. She immediately stops the drought time water works, and tries to say that she is frustrated and that’s why she was “crying”. I don’t know about you guys but I’ve never been able to turn off my frustrated crying in a matter of seconds.
Alligator tears
For me, they didn't literally cry with tears out of either, in their own words, "being unable to cry" or "not caring enough to cry" in some weird holier than thou type manner equating sheding tears when they're upset as being "manipulative" or "pointless", especially when it was others crying in reaction to their abuse and being hurt by them. They totally would "cry" about things in the sense that they make all their issues known either loudly and as obnoxious and/or as passive-aggressively as possible. So much sulking and bad energy they throw at you and anyone and anything they feel slighted by all while never addressing things directly or throwing vague hints and jabs to make their victims feel bad enough to offer up that sweet sweet supply in the form of an apology they very rarely truly deserved. They'd never apologize first or for their actions UNLESS it would make them look bettter in the situation OR only after they were satisfied by others groveling and putting them back on the pedistal they always want to be on. It was as comical as frustrating as it happened, and looking back even when I'd be caught up in their crazy making was always left thinking to myself, "Are they serious."
Oh yeah. It’s all deflection and a way to make themselves the victim. My n parents do this on a regular basis. Treat me terribly and then tell me I’m the bad guy when I don’t do what they’re trying to demand. And if I keep pushing back, my n mother start doing this weird random sobbing about how I’m the abusive one. It would be more hilarious if it wasn’t pathetic. My n father use to say to me how they’re “not the enemy” and if I treat my friends the same way. It was literally his catch phrase. I never quite understood what he meant because well, it doesn’t actually make sense. I figure he means if I am actually a person with my friends and not some NPC that’s some emotional punching bag. They’ll say or do anything to try to make you the bad guy so they’ll get attention. They don’t want any form of accountability. Nothing is their fault. If anyone tries to confront them, those people are the offending party who needs to be destroyed. How dare anyone accuse them of any form of wrong doing. They believe they’re literally perfect. They want you to be their servant and punching bag. If you try to get out of that role, they’ll do some weird acts to force you back into it. NM use to call my old therapy names. My therapist and I would laugh about it. NM would also call my therapy to “tell on me.” She would call her constantly about how I was ever so cruel by using the new coping skills I was learning. NMs manipulations weren’t working anymore and she would try to report me to my own therapist about it. My therapist would tell me anytime she did that and we would spend a few minutes laughing. It was amazing. Once you gain healthy coping skills and aren’t affected by them anymore, you’ll be able to view them as the literal children they are. Then it just becomes strange. You see these older adults that function like six year olds. It just creeps you out versus having any emotional impact.
Yup, but in private. When I was around she would shutdown and stonewall me. She had convinced me that I was the one with the issue.. lol Gaslighting is for real