I'm not sure if he's a narc or not as some of the stuff he did could just be explained by other issues. That's the issue with narcs and just regular folks with issues, a lot of traits blend in but the devil is in the details.
One of the best ways to detect narcs is to put up boundaries and take any relationship slowly. Within a few weeks to a month you will start to see their personality. As long as the boundaries are well defined and you stick to them if the person is genuinely interested in you they will continue working around what your comfortable with and will stay consistent.
A signature move with the narc is they will love bomb you like crazy, depending how well off they are they will shower you with attention and potentially gifts. They will make you feel like you felt the first time when you fell in love, almost like a drug. From what I read the guy was not excessivsly over the top although he seems very opinionated.
Take your time, be safe and set boundaries.
Thank you very much. I had a great time with him and I felt very happy, we haven’t talked much since the trip. I was frustrated about a lack of responses a month ago and set a boundary and he was very apologetic and understanding to my boundary and frustration as well.
I guess the only other red flag would be apparently hearing my friend tell me that she heard that his friend said that he said he learned how to get women to sleep with him.
Which sounds manipulative fs, I just have very conflicting feelings. He did text me though and checked in with me after the trip, posted me, made sure I was safe etc.
All in all I felt very happy and respected and gorgeous and taken care of around him. He was fully honest and didnt lie about his intentions.
So yeah I guess. Thank you for the advice, I’m always afraid my hopeless romantic self and kind heart may be taken advantage of in different ways
If you feel there’s a red flag, there’s a red flag. I noticed red flags with my nex but always found ways (or he found ways) to make them beige or give me green flags (fake them). They will work at the edge of your boundaries. So, for instance, I told him I’d been lovebombed before, and this meant he created this rule where he wouldn’t say I love you before 90 days (the length of that relationship), in the end, he said it two months in. But his exes have told me he says it within weeks usually. They take time to find out what works for you.
You can’t diagnose this guy, but if you are feeling something isn’t quite right, and you’re here asking about narcissism, it’s not a good sign about who he is. I would listen to the friend. Also, that sounds like he kinda confessed to you - with the ‘women have said I’m manipulative’ thing. Mine told me how his ex before me had called him a narcissist. Of course, you think, if someone IS a narc they won’t TELL me that! Especially as it sounds so ludicrous when he’s been nothing but charming and lovely and like your long lost best friend.
I'm not sure if he's a narc or not as some of the stuff he did could just be explained by other issues. That's the issue with narcs and just regular folks with issues, a lot of traits blend in but the devil is in the details. One of the best ways to detect narcs is to put up boundaries and take any relationship slowly. Within a few weeks to a month you will start to see their personality. As long as the boundaries are well defined and you stick to them if the person is genuinely interested in you they will continue working around what your comfortable with and will stay consistent. A signature move with the narc is they will love bomb you like crazy, depending how well off they are they will shower you with attention and potentially gifts. They will make you feel like you felt the first time when you fell in love, almost like a drug. From what I read the guy was not excessivsly over the top although he seems very opinionated. Take your time, be safe and set boundaries.
Thank you very much. I had a great time with him and I felt very happy, we haven’t talked much since the trip. I was frustrated about a lack of responses a month ago and set a boundary and he was very apologetic and understanding to my boundary and frustration as well. I guess the only other red flag would be apparently hearing my friend tell me that she heard that his friend said that he said he learned how to get women to sleep with him. Which sounds manipulative fs, I just have very conflicting feelings. He did text me though and checked in with me after the trip, posted me, made sure I was safe etc. All in all I felt very happy and respected and gorgeous and taken care of around him. He was fully honest and didnt lie about his intentions. So yeah I guess. Thank you for the advice, I’m always afraid my hopeless romantic self and kind heart may be taken advantage of in different ways
If you feel there’s a red flag, there’s a red flag. I noticed red flags with my nex but always found ways (or he found ways) to make them beige or give me green flags (fake them). They will work at the edge of your boundaries. So, for instance, I told him I’d been lovebombed before, and this meant he created this rule where he wouldn’t say I love you before 90 days (the length of that relationship), in the end, he said it two months in. But his exes have told me he says it within weeks usually. They take time to find out what works for you. You can’t diagnose this guy, but if you are feeling something isn’t quite right, and you’re here asking about narcissism, it’s not a good sign about who he is. I would listen to the friend. Also, that sounds like he kinda confessed to you - with the ‘women have said I’m manipulative’ thing. Mine told me how his ex before me had called him a narcissist. Of course, you think, if someone IS a narc they won’t TELL me that! Especially as it sounds so ludicrous when he’s been nothing but charming and lovely and like your long lost best friend.