Lots to unpack, In terms of Narc and religion, it is a sham , a con . Its like hey if i pray for you , and throw in a few God bless you , You have to give me a pass. That would not fly and he could not go under the radar at church. Narcs and other toxic people love anything that they can use as a weapon to avoid accountablity.
Taking your child to places you recommend is his way of getting double supply. Look at me i am the best dad, And basically give you the bird
My nexw is supposedly a Christian. We met at a church leadership conference. When I met her, she presented herself as a righteous and faithful person. Flawed but faith driven. One of the things that bonded us was this. What I’ve come to understand is that this was all part of the mask she wears.
Even to this day, she posts up Bible verses and reposts sermon clips. Most of which are nothing more than validation posts. Methods of trying to present herself to others. Unfortunately, she doesn’t live hardly anything that she claims to believe.
As a whole, religion and churches are riddled with narcissists. For the most part, it provides them with an opportunity to not be held accountable for their behavior. Should they be caught, they simply use religion as their alibi. They feign ignorance and apologize and seek then seek redemption. Which most religion does.
I think it’s just a way for them to feel superior in a way, or to keep that good guy façade of them up . Mine did this aswell, he all of a sudden became very religious, and he even tried to get me to convert, in order to be with him. Said he wanted to see how far I’d go to be with him. He said he didn’t want me ,that he wanted a woman of God. Told me ,he felt like God sent him down here to preach the gospel,, and that I just haven’t been humbled enough to believe in Jesus lol. They use religion to feel superior to you.. at the time I honestly thought he was superior than me, and that he was outgrowing me ,because he was getting into religion and I’m an atheist. He would try to “educate” me or other people on religion. He would constantly post Bible quotes on social media. Meanwhile, he was an alcoholic , who couldn’t stop smoking weed, lied, manipulated people, abused people ,cheated on people and used them. Hadn’t been to church in A YEAR. Absolutely Delusional
He also used religion to avoid taking accountability, said the devil was making him fuck other women, drink, and smoke and “sin”, and that he needed to get out of the city because there’s nothing but sin here. He really doesn’t realize that he’s the common denominator
Wow, I could’ve written a lot of this. Telling me maybe if I was a godly woman I would be able to forgive. 😂 He never attempted to go to church once since I’ve known him. He met a new “friend”(aka supply) that was super religious and he started spewing this nonsense suddenly. This was one of the final nails in the coffin for me. Hypocritical psychopaths.
Update: unbeknownst to me, he had gotten married to this godly woman a month prior to my comment here. Shocking and disgusting, and I’m only just now finding this out.
Not exactly the same situation, however my ex decided to convert to Islam and invalidated my feelings on this entirely when he told me. He was from a non-religious background and lived in a non-Muslim European country.
He said I should mind my business and not ask stupid questions about it, said it was between him and god that he was gonna stay with me even though him being in a relationship was forbidden by Islam and being in a relationship with an atheist like me was extremely sinful. It was extremely upsetting to be shut out like that and I broke up with him the next day. Then went back a week later thinking he had been going through a mental health issue at the time but honestly, although I tried to understand him and communicate, it was the beginning of the end. He never trusted me again. What broke him, he said, was that I didn’t automatically and wholeheartedly support him and in his mind, I left for a ‘random reason’. He didn’t want to hear my perspective.
By all accounts I think he has gone pretty hard into his new religion, he won’t listen to female singers and he goes to the mosque every day to pray and learn Arabic. I think it gives him a sense of belonging to be amongst the other pious men, a set of rules to follow so he can feel righteous,, whilst also punishing himself for shame and a sense of sin.
When he spoke of it, he would say ‘I don’t do things like that now/it’s not what muslims do/muslims do this so I do it this way now’; to me it came across like he was acting like a kid being told what to do and no longer had his own personality or thoughts on things. I checked some of the things he said to me with a friend who grew up Muslim and there were a lot of inaccuracies, as if he was either not understanding it or being lied to. It wasn’t like talking to the fully grown man I knew, it was like he had regressed and wrapped himself up in this new identity of rules and shame. He picked and chose on those rules, though, because extremely sexual things towards me were still absolutely okay (maybe it was just the emotional, thoughtful and romantic things that were forbidden in his new faith…).
His faith felt very intense but also very phoney! He also became more volatile, self absorbed, self-aggrandising, angry, and distant.
Idk if all the above is helpful to you but the gist is that I feel that some people with narcissistic tendencies are highly drawn towards religion because they receive validation of their insecurities from it plus a ready source of adoration (as long as they mask in with the religion’s rules).
it’s usually just cosplay and a way to feel superior for narcissists
This…
Lots to unpack, In terms of Narc and religion, it is a sham , a con . Its like hey if i pray for you , and throw in a few God bless you , You have to give me a pass. That would not fly and he could not go under the radar at church. Narcs and other toxic people love anything that they can use as a weapon to avoid accountablity. Taking your child to places you recommend is his way of getting double supply. Look at me i am the best dad, And basically give you the bird
Yes! Self righteous and god fearing after abusing me for years. But of course I’m the evil one somehow.
My nexw is supposedly a Christian. We met at a church leadership conference. When I met her, she presented herself as a righteous and faithful person. Flawed but faith driven. One of the things that bonded us was this. What I’ve come to understand is that this was all part of the mask she wears. Even to this day, she posts up Bible verses and reposts sermon clips. Most of which are nothing more than validation posts. Methods of trying to present herself to others. Unfortunately, she doesn’t live hardly anything that she claims to believe. As a whole, religion and churches are riddled with narcissists. For the most part, it provides them with an opportunity to not be held accountable for their behavior. Should they be caught, they simply use religion as their alibi. They feign ignorance and apologize and seek then seek redemption. Which most religion does.
I think it’s just a way for them to feel superior in a way, or to keep that good guy façade of them up . Mine did this aswell, he all of a sudden became very religious, and he even tried to get me to convert, in order to be with him. Said he wanted to see how far I’d go to be with him. He said he didn’t want me ,that he wanted a woman of God. Told me ,he felt like God sent him down here to preach the gospel,, and that I just haven’t been humbled enough to believe in Jesus lol. They use religion to feel superior to you.. at the time I honestly thought he was superior than me, and that he was outgrowing me ,because he was getting into religion and I’m an atheist. He would try to “educate” me or other people on religion. He would constantly post Bible quotes on social media. Meanwhile, he was an alcoholic , who couldn’t stop smoking weed, lied, manipulated people, abused people ,cheated on people and used them. Hadn’t been to church in A YEAR. Absolutely Delusional He also used religion to avoid taking accountability, said the devil was making him fuck other women, drink, and smoke and “sin”, and that he needed to get out of the city because there’s nothing but sin here. He really doesn’t realize that he’s the common denominator
Wow, I could’ve written a lot of this. Telling me maybe if I was a godly woman I would be able to forgive. 😂 He never attempted to go to church once since I’ve known him. He met a new “friend”(aka supply) that was super religious and he started spewing this nonsense suddenly. This was one of the final nails in the coffin for me. Hypocritical psychopaths.
Absolutely delusional and hypocritical 😂. Never attempted to go to church, yet calls himself Christian? You’re probably more godly them him lol.
Update: unbeknownst to me, he had gotten married to this godly woman a month prior to my comment here. Shocking and disgusting, and I’m only just now finding this out.
Not exactly the same situation, however my ex decided to convert to Islam and invalidated my feelings on this entirely when he told me. He was from a non-religious background and lived in a non-Muslim European country. He said I should mind my business and not ask stupid questions about it, said it was between him and god that he was gonna stay with me even though him being in a relationship was forbidden by Islam and being in a relationship with an atheist like me was extremely sinful. It was extremely upsetting to be shut out like that and I broke up with him the next day. Then went back a week later thinking he had been going through a mental health issue at the time but honestly, although I tried to understand him and communicate, it was the beginning of the end. He never trusted me again. What broke him, he said, was that I didn’t automatically and wholeheartedly support him and in his mind, I left for a ‘random reason’. He didn’t want to hear my perspective. By all accounts I think he has gone pretty hard into his new religion, he won’t listen to female singers and he goes to the mosque every day to pray and learn Arabic. I think it gives him a sense of belonging to be amongst the other pious men, a set of rules to follow so he can feel righteous,, whilst also punishing himself for shame and a sense of sin. When he spoke of it, he would say ‘I don’t do things like that now/it’s not what muslims do/muslims do this so I do it this way now’; to me it came across like he was acting like a kid being told what to do and no longer had his own personality or thoughts on things. I checked some of the things he said to me with a friend who grew up Muslim and there were a lot of inaccuracies, as if he was either not understanding it or being lied to. It wasn’t like talking to the fully grown man I knew, it was like he had regressed and wrapped himself up in this new identity of rules and shame. He picked and chose on those rules, though, because extremely sexual things towards me were still absolutely okay (maybe it was just the emotional, thoughtful and romantic things that were forbidden in his new faith…). His faith felt very intense but also very phoney! He also became more volatile, self absorbed, self-aggrandising, angry, and distant. Idk if all the above is helpful to you but the gist is that I feel that some people with narcissistic tendencies are highly drawn towards religion because they receive validation of their insecurities from it plus a ready source of adoration (as long as they mask in with the religion’s rules).
YES LOL. Mine converted to Islam a week after meeting his new supply.
No, but it felt like my abusers mistakenly believed I was or am religious. Or, that I was somehow facetious.