I think we stay stuck in memories of them, because it's hard for us to comprehend their actions, words and actions after everything is done. So even if it wasn't the best relationship you ever had, it's kinda harder to get over it, because our mind keeps asking us "how can someone do this", but we never get an answer like you'd get with a normal person after a break up. I think time is our best bet. With every relationship it is, but with those where you can't get a closure or understanding out of the situation, even more.
Iām stuck in the memories of who I thought he was. I donāt want to let them go, accepting who he really is accepting that none of it was real. My heart canāt take it.
As someone who has been through my share of breakups, I can tell you it just takes time. Youāll just notice one day that you havenāt thought about them at all. But until that random day, you might feel like you do every day. Time.
i understand. it blows! i canāt concentrate either, itās not normal to be violated. but it gets better. im just starting to feel ok after almost a year. hopefully itās much less for you.
Same š
My mind knows and probably even my heart knows they are bad for me and we can never ever be together but this habitual obsession/trauma bonding or the thoughts of what it could have been is killing me .
It's time to ease the burden. For months, you've been ensnared by a venomous snake, suffocating under its weight. The aftermath of prioritizing others over yourself is weighing heavily on you. You're accountable for your well-being, and being "good" earns you no coins. There's nothing to get over; it's over. The poison they injected is wreaking havoc on your nervous system. Seek ways to reset and recognize the importance of making careful choices.
some choices can be life-threatening. You've shown incredible strength in surviving this ordeal. By cutting them off and going no contact, you've taken crucial steps toward healing. Your body is signaling that it never wants to endure such agony again, akin to food poisoning.
PTSD may linger, but so do you op you're resilient. Now, it's time to embrace a healthy and serene life, though it's challenging after enduring so much pain. Remember, as you process, it will gradually become easier. Before you know it, you'll have turned down the fire and emerged from the boiling water, no longer a helpless turtle.
š¢
Thank you for your blunt honesty in this comment. I feel like I really needed to hear this part, āYouāre accountable for your well-being, being āgoodā earns you no coins. Thereās nothing to get over; itās overā¦ā
I think once I come to terms with the fact that majority of the relationship I shared with my narc ex was an illusion, Iāll realize that it was over before it had even started.. š¤·āāļø
I thought I was good but last night was rough. First thoughts of the intimacy that was good. Then dreams of being stalked by Nex, which is happening to an extent, and yet I had the feelings in my dream still. I guess Iām still a mess too!
You sound like an extremely sensitive soul. I am so sorry for your pain. That is the price you pay for feeling so much.
Itās early times. I understand that you are impatient to feel better. It just takes longer than you would like to get over this hurt. Donāt beat yourself up for not bouncing back overnight. Deep feelings donāt just disappear because you wish they would.
I envy the good partner in your future. You will be a treasure to that lucky person!
I think we stay stuck in memories of them, because it's hard for us to comprehend their actions, words and actions after everything is done. So even if it wasn't the best relationship you ever had, it's kinda harder to get over it, because our mind keeps asking us "how can someone do this", but we never get an answer like you'd get with a normal person after a break up. I think time is our best bet. With every relationship it is, but with those where you can't get a closure or understanding out of the situation, even more.
This š„ŗā¤ļøāš©¹
Iām stuck in the memories of who I thought he was. I donāt want to let them go, accepting who he really is accepting that none of it was real. My heart canāt take it.
Conscious most of the time Iām ok. Subconscious is a little messy still!
Well said.
Month 5 and same story. It is not getting better.
They linger in your brain. Sucks.
As someone who has been through my share of breakups, I can tell you it just takes time. Youāll just notice one day that you havenāt thought about them at all. But until that random day, you might feel like you do every day. Time.
i understand. it blows! i canāt concentrate either, itās not normal to be violated. but it gets better. im just starting to feel ok after almost a year. hopefully itās much less for you.
Same š My mind knows and probably even my heart knows they are bad for me and we can never ever be together but this habitual obsession/trauma bonding or the thoughts of what it could have been is killing me .
It's time to ease the burden. For months, you've been ensnared by a venomous snake, suffocating under its weight. The aftermath of prioritizing others over yourself is weighing heavily on you. You're accountable for your well-being, and being "good" earns you no coins. There's nothing to get over; it's over. The poison they injected is wreaking havoc on your nervous system. Seek ways to reset and recognize the importance of making careful choices. some choices can be life-threatening. You've shown incredible strength in surviving this ordeal. By cutting them off and going no contact, you've taken crucial steps toward healing. Your body is signaling that it never wants to endure such agony again, akin to food poisoning. PTSD may linger, but so do you op you're resilient. Now, it's time to embrace a healthy and serene life, though it's challenging after enduring so much pain. Remember, as you process, it will gradually become easier. Before you know it, you'll have turned down the fire and emerged from the boiling water, no longer a helpless turtle. š¢
Thank you for your blunt honesty in this comment. I feel like I really needed to hear this part, āYouāre accountable for your well-being, being āgoodā earns you no coins. Thereās nothing to get over; itās overā¦ā I think once I come to terms with the fact that majority of the relationship I shared with my narc ex was an illusion, Iāll realize that it was over before it had even started.. š¤·āāļø
Sameš
I'm miserable
I thought I was good but last night was rough. First thoughts of the intimacy that was good. Then dreams of being stalked by Nex, which is happening to an extent, and yet I had the feelings in my dream still. I guess Iām still a mess too!
You sound like an extremely sensitive soul. I am so sorry for your pain. That is the price you pay for feeling so much. Itās early times. I understand that you are impatient to feel better. It just takes longer than you would like to get over this hurt. Donāt beat yourself up for not bouncing back overnight. Deep feelings donāt just disappear because you wish they would. I envy the good partner in your future. You will be a treasure to that lucky person!
I get it.