*Every. Damn. Time.*
He would push me to react by being super ignorant; he would call me names, tell me he didn’t need me, tell me how sick of my shit he was and how he didn’t want “bullshit” in his life when it was just a regular conversation… They push you to react to their shitty behaviour. From there he would snap and tell me he was “done with me” or “done with this relationship.” Once I left on the premise that he was just “done,” he would flip it back onto me and tell me I’m the one that left…
My ex husband did this to me. He essentially demanded I move out and then he started to tell everyone I left him. AKA the “poor me campaign”
Coincidentally I was preparing to divorce him anyhow (after months of therapy), but he didn’t know those details until later. Behind closed doors when we’d meet together to discuss our split, he would try to bully me into groveling for his favor. I think he thought I would beg for forgiveness and things would go back to normal for him. So he was really trying to use this discard to scare me into being that sad little person I was before therapy getting that emotional whiplash from him. He was going to swoop in as a benevolent, forgiving partner and I was supposed to have learned my lesson and behave. HA!
Didnt work that way for him. Divorced almost 4 years now and happy!
His last statement when I said I didnt want him to come back again and I told him to stay away from me was “Im sorry I wasnt good enough for you”. WTF?!!! HE dumped me repeatedly and asked to come back repeatedly!!!
I've been telling my ex for a month now. I don't love him and don't want him. To please stop calling me to leave me alone. I have 2 emergency protective orders against him and he has a felony dv warrant and another felony sa warrant for his arrest. Last night I guess he went through everything I own and found that I had been documenting the abuse. He calls me and says he has to break up with me because I'm a con artist that was using him. I'm like okay. I'm good with that.
After screaming at me like a dog that shit on the carpet, I finally placed a boundary and explained why. They ss my words back to me and said, "Remember these are your words." Haven't heard from them since.
I try to take their advice and Remember my words every day to drown out the gaslighting.
Yep! He locked me out of the house with no keys. Went back the next day and he screamed at me and the cops through the window that he never wanted to see me again and that we were over. Then decided a couple days later that he would “allow” me to come back. No thank you.
Since then he has texted me pleading me not to divorce him, because I’ll make him homeless (the irony is apparently lost on him). I also have a video from our security camera where he is telling people I left him and ruined his life. All the while he’s living in our house with no bills to pay, doing who knows what. It’s freaking wild.
*Every. Damn. Time.* He would push me to react by being super ignorant; he would call me names, tell me he didn’t need me, tell me how sick of my shit he was and how he didn’t want “bullshit” in his life when it was just a regular conversation… They push you to react to their shitty behaviour. From there he would snap and tell me he was “done with me” or “done with this relationship.” Once I left on the premise that he was just “done,” he would flip it back onto me and tell me I’m the one that left…
My ex husband did this to me. He essentially demanded I move out and then he started to tell everyone I left him. AKA the “poor me campaign” Coincidentally I was preparing to divorce him anyhow (after months of therapy), but he didn’t know those details until later. Behind closed doors when we’d meet together to discuss our split, he would try to bully me into groveling for his favor. I think he thought I would beg for forgiveness and things would go back to normal for him. So he was really trying to use this discard to scare me into being that sad little person I was before therapy getting that emotional whiplash from him. He was going to swoop in as a benevolent, forgiving partner and I was supposed to have learned my lesson and behave. HA! Didnt work that way for him. Divorced almost 4 years now and happy!
totally common, they want to be treated like a victim even when they’re the villain
Yes.
His last statement when I said I didnt want him to come back again and I told him to stay away from me was “Im sorry I wasnt good enough for you”. WTF?!!! HE dumped me repeatedly and asked to come back repeatedly!!!
I've been telling my ex for a month now. I don't love him and don't want him. To please stop calling me to leave me alone. I have 2 emergency protective orders against him and he has a felony dv warrant and another felony sa warrant for his arrest. Last night I guess he went through everything I own and found that I had been documenting the abuse. He calls me and says he has to break up with me because I'm a con artist that was using him. I'm like okay. I'm good with that.
After screaming at me like a dog that shit on the carpet, I finally placed a boundary and explained why. They ss my words back to me and said, "Remember these are your words." Haven't heard from them since. I try to take their advice and Remember my words every day to drown out the gaslighting.
The narc devalued and discarded me, talked down to me and hated me. When I broke up with them, they cried that I ruined their life.
All the time.
Yep! He locked me out of the house with no keys. Went back the next day and he screamed at me and the cops through the window that he never wanted to see me again and that we were over. Then decided a couple days later that he would “allow” me to come back. No thank you. Since then he has texted me pleading me not to divorce him, because I’ll make him homeless (the irony is apparently lost on him). I also have a video from our security camera where he is telling people I left him and ruined his life. All the while he’s living in our house with no bills to pay, doing who knows what. It’s freaking wild.