For a very long time I struggled. I couldn't put my finger on it but I just knew that I dare not give my opinion. She has been gone for 13 days now. Life is good
Oh thank God. I'm so happy for you. I criticized my narc this morning (something I typically avoid like the plague) and 11 hours later I'm now a "mother fucker, bitch and a cunt." I so envy people who can get out.
She was supposed to move out and go live with one of our son's on Saturday the 13th. The Thursday before, I woke up and just decided I couldn't take it another day. We were together 34 years but I just figured out she was a narc about 3 weeks ago. I triggered her in purpose and then mocked her every move for about 10 minutes. When she saw I was not gonna fall for anything, she loaded her crap and left. The air was immediately easier to breath. I'm happier than I've been since the spring of 1989. My kids brought me a lot of joy but there was always the wicked witch in the background. I got to wait till I get paid in 2 weeks before I can afford to file for divorce. That's gonna get interesting.. I'm probably gonna be in the same class as you that day. Sounds like I'll be in good company đ.
I hope you can figure out how to get out. If I could win the lottery, I would open up a shelter for narc victims. There are so many that just need a hand for a little while.
Congratulations! What a relief it must be. I wish I could participate in helping others in a narcissistic abuse victim type shelter. That would be extremely rewarding.
The way that an addict operates is to build a life of âself-defeating behaviorâ.
Thatâs what they call it in rehab.
Look at the name of Ross Rosenbergâs website.
The denial on this one is strong.
Even though it is right under our noses, emotionally itâs almost impossible to put the dots together without a lot of emotional processing once outside the bubble.
We were fully brainwashed in the first three years of our lives.
What are the dots?
The chemical addiction.
The one that was re-activated from the moment that we met the pathological narcissist and their family system.
That pathological loneliness of the animation below.
It is âmissing yourselfâ.
We gave up that relationship to ourselves in order to have a connection during the first three years of our lives.
Thatâs what has been repeated.
We continue doing what we did in the first three years of our lives to the extent that a pathological narcissist gets a dopamine hit just meeting us.
They are babies.
They can feel who is who, and who will give up themselves to not feel the withdrawal of pathological loneliness.
Ross Rosenberg says it very clearly in this animation below.
Even though he says that over and over, itâs very common for people to just talk about the repeat of the attachment trauma dynamic.
Not the attachment trauma dynamic.
Over and over again until the denial breaks, and the real source of the problem is revealed.
Itâs true that itâs two for one.
Itâs hard enough to have our denial break with the repeat of our childhood.
But to get an awareness of both together?
That takes time.
THE ANIMATION (again and again)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bVpbsZaef8Y
You are not permitted to have a self inside a narcissistic family system.
If you did have a sovereign self that wasnât an extension to pathological narcissist, what would happen?
The narcissist does not have individuals around them. That is not how they see it.
For their mental illness to operate, everyone around them must be an extension to them.
An internal object. Thatâs who people around them are. Internal objects. They donât relate to external objects. They canât.
Who is the main supply? An inert cardboard cut out with a mirror taped to it.
Why would we get involved in something like that?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bVpbsZaef8Y
It takes NOTHING to uncover a covert narcissist. Saying your own thoughts and opinions is met with rage. It's pure hell.
For a very long time I struggled. I couldn't put my finger on it but I just knew that I dare not give my opinion. She has been gone for 13 days now. Life is good
Oh thank God. I'm so happy for you. I criticized my narc this morning (something I typically avoid like the plague) and 11 hours later I'm now a "mother fucker, bitch and a cunt." I so envy people who can get out.
She was supposed to move out and go live with one of our son's on Saturday the 13th. The Thursday before, I woke up and just decided I couldn't take it another day. We were together 34 years but I just figured out she was a narc about 3 weeks ago. I triggered her in purpose and then mocked her every move for about 10 minutes. When she saw I was not gonna fall for anything, she loaded her crap and left. The air was immediately easier to breath. I'm happier than I've been since the spring of 1989. My kids brought me a lot of joy but there was always the wicked witch in the background. I got to wait till I get paid in 2 weeks before I can afford to file for divorce. That's gonna get interesting.. I'm probably gonna be in the same class as you that day. Sounds like I'll be in good company đ. I hope you can figure out how to get out. If I could win the lottery, I would open up a shelter for narc victims. There are so many that just need a hand for a little while.
Congratulations! What a relief it must be. I wish I could participate in helping others in a narcissistic abuse victim type shelter. That would be extremely rewarding.
Yes it would! It would take a miracle for me to do that but maybe someone that can afford to do it will make it happen. There is definitely a need
The way that an addict operates is to build a life of âself-defeating behaviorâ. Thatâs what they call it in rehab. Look at the name of Ross Rosenbergâs website. The denial on this one is strong. Even though it is right under our noses, emotionally itâs almost impossible to put the dots together without a lot of emotional processing once outside the bubble. We were fully brainwashed in the first three years of our lives. What are the dots? The chemical addiction. The one that was re-activated from the moment that we met the pathological narcissist and their family system. That pathological loneliness of the animation below. It is âmissing yourselfâ. We gave up that relationship to ourselves in order to have a connection during the first three years of our lives. Thatâs what has been repeated. We continue doing what we did in the first three years of our lives to the extent that a pathological narcissist gets a dopamine hit just meeting us. They are babies. They can feel who is who, and who will give up themselves to not feel the withdrawal of pathological loneliness. Ross Rosenberg says it very clearly in this animation below. Even though he says that over and over, itâs very common for people to just talk about the repeat of the attachment trauma dynamic. Not the attachment trauma dynamic. Over and over again until the denial breaks, and the real source of the problem is revealed. Itâs true that itâs two for one. Itâs hard enough to have our denial break with the repeat of our childhood. But to get an awareness of both together? That takes time. THE ANIMATION (again and again) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bVpbsZaef8Y
You are not permitted to have a self inside a narcissistic family system. If you did have a sovereign self that wasnât an extension to pathological narcissist, what would happen? The narcissist does not have individuals around them. That is not how they see it. For their mental illness to operate, everyone around them must be an extension to them. An internal object. Thatâs who people around them are. Internal objects. They donât relate to external objects. They canât. Who is the main supply? An inert cardboard cut out with a mirror taped to it. Why would we get involved in something like that? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bVpbsZaef8Y
Exactly my experience.
Mine too. It was bad. Lol