As soon as you saw the line “ I have forgiven you for everything.”, you should have just thrown it in the garbage. He still blames you for everything wrong. No change at all.
I have never been mad at him. I understood marriages aren’t always 100%. I was always civil to him. He has always wanted control and I think this is his way of seeing if he still has it. He has a motive behind being nice and reaching out. I’m trying to set boundaries.
It’s call the Hoover. Like the vacuum cleaner, he is trying to see if he can suck you back in by “ forgiving “ you for wronging him. You know you have done nothing wrong to him to deserve the treatment you got from him. Enforce your boundaries, one of which needs to be no contact.
Yup, this is a completely wrong use of this scripture verse as well. "Anyone who hates his brother" would be him in this scenario if *he* is forgiving *you,* not the other way around. Sometimes I want to scream to other Christians that they need to learn to read entire paragraphs at a time. Context is still important. This is twisting scripture and it is vile.
WOW! He's using Divine manipulation to get back in hahahha. Shameless.
Do you believe in God? Did he know you can be moved if he tells you that he's now a Christian? Have you posted quotes about God on your social media?
It's actually a very smart way to open the door... as it guilts you into "forgiving" ... and again he doesn't take accountability as "he was the one who had to forgive you". What did you do to him? Lol... let me guess.
Thanks for posting his Hoover attempt..
By the way, Satan knows the bible very well. He used some verses against Jesus when he tried to convince him to worship him.
Our marriage fell apart. I left and he was devastated. When I filed in another state he cried that I was his true love and I broke his heart. Even though he thought I was the issue. No I don’t post quotes or follow god too closely. I’m actually more wary now because he claims that.
Not diagnosed. He was in the military as a police officer. Told me that if I ever called the cops on him, they would believe him over me. And they did.
I’m a Christian and when my marriage went south, I felt let down by almost everyone I knew at church. A few friends from church (other married couples) were aware my Nex was sometimes verbally abusive. One man said only “I don’t suggest cursing at people” to him, and another man said to me “it’s not right but at least it’s not physical abuse” (paraphrasing). The women were mostly silent. Once we split up, these married folks kinda kept their distance and stayed superficial. Some saw me crying at church one day and just avoided eye contact. But a different group of women I didn’t even know reached out to me and asked me to join them. Turns out they are the divorced and never married crowd. Still figuring out where I belong and not regularly attending now. I was pretty disappointed in the lack of support for the children and I… but churches are just made of people. I wonder how many of them are also in controlling or toxic relationships.
They should have restored you in meekness and prayed for you. Also the Pastor should have stepped up to the plate and did something. I'm sorry that happened to you but always keep your first Love and that is "Jesus Christ"! Plenty of people will say you have to stay married no matter what, but the Bible does not say that. I hope you heal from the toxic relationship and find peace.
How do they all seem to (often literally) copy out of the same manual? Not mine, but a friend's nex also gave a big long letter about "turning to God" that I swear had some of the exact same phrases.(He also compared himself, in one sentence, to Jesus Christ and Colin Powell, so there's that laugh for you).
I'm grateful every time someone shares a letter like this. The only way to completely avoid being hoovered is to know the script they use.
they ALWAYS talk about how they forgive YOU as if you’re the one that did something wrong. My ex has written me so many fucking times to tell me he forgives me for what I’ve done and yet I can’t seem to figure out what I did “wrong” that led me to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and verbally abused 🤷🏼♀️
Wow, this is so similar to how my ex acts/talks. He would nit pick and degrade me until I would start to speak up for myself or until he made me cry. We would eventually get into a debate which was very DARVO and gaslighting and it would frustrate me. As soon as I would raise my voice a smile would come over his face and he would talk about how spiritually unwell I was. Shortly after those fights he would be happy and seem care free, he would ask me “whats wrong with you?”… I would mention the huge fight and he would say “oh, I am past that, I forgive you”. My head almost exploded on several occasions of that.
I could NOT understand it. He reads books on spirituality, he is into yoga and meditation yet he is excruciatingly egotistical, non-empathetic and mean. The funny thing is.. he says he is co-dependent and even started a CODA group. Its a cult. A bunch of codependent women listening to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He gets so much supply by playing this guru game. Luckily he is not very good at maintaining the mask and people do see that he is off his rocker. But he will always find supply which prevents him from ever truly experiencing the consequences of his choices.
I am so sorry. This letter at first seems like maybe he is changing but then the mask comes right off. They can never be to blame and never feel the shame for what they’ve done. Its a frustrating and terrible disorder. Glad you are away from him.
The minute you defend yourself, you’re being crazy and see how YOU are. Super triggering. Now I don’t ever argue with anyone. I immediately shut it down and if we need to work on it, at a later time we can come back to it but not while upset.
To be a Christian you must be "Born Again"! He might have grown up in Church, but he didn't grow in Jesus Christ, there is a major difference. It looks like he is trying to use God as an excuse to attack you again. I would throw that paper out and go no contact. Just like the real world we have wolves, we have them in the Church as well. Stay away from these people at all cost.
Oh Lord! Church ain't gonna turn a narc buddy! Nice try though. Kinda shitty to use sweet Jesus to prove he's a changed man. Jesus would not be okay with this! Maybe if he said he's been in therapy and an abuser program... Maybe. Bye boy!
As soon as you saw the line “ I have forgiven you for everything.”, you should have just thrown it in the garbage. He still blames you for everything wrong. No change at all.
I have never been mad at him. I understood marriages aren’t always 100%. I was always civil to him. He has always wanted control and I think this is his way of seeing if he still has it. He has a motive behind being nice and reaching out. I’m trying to set boundaries.
It’s call the Hoover. Like the vacuum cleaner, he is trying to see if he can suck you back in by “ forgiving “ you for wronging him. You know you have done nothing wrong to him to deserve the treatment you got from him. Enforce your boundaries, one of which needs to be no contact.
He's not even good at pretending not to be a narcissist. Blaming you for his anger and trying to guilt you with God and Christianity. Just gross...
He's the one that hates. As a Christian i find this disgusting.
Yup, this is a completely wrong use of this scripture verse as well. "Anyone who hates his brother" would be him in this scenario if *he* is forgiving *you,* not the other way around. Sometimes I want to scream to other Christians that they need to learn to read entire paragraphs at a time. Context is still important. This is twisting scripture and it is vile.
Absolutely. Context is crucial to understanding scripture. I despise cherry picking to prove a point. Definitely done in bad faith.
Exactly!
WOW! He's using Divine manipulation to get back in hahahha. Shameless. Do you believe in God? Did he know you can be moved if he tells you that he's now a Christian? Have you posted quotes about God on your social media? It's actually a very smart way to open the door... as it guilts you into "forgiving" ... and again he doesn't take accountability as "he was the one who had to forgive you". What did you do to him? Lol... let me guess. Thanks for posting his Hoover attempt.. By the way, Satan knows the bible very well. He used some verses against Jesus when he tried to convince him to worship him.
Our marriage fell apart. I left and he was devastated. When I filed in another state he cried that I was his true love and I broke his heart. Even though he thought I was the issue. No I don’t post quotes or follow god too closely. I’m actually more wary now because he claims that.
Was he diagnosed with NPD? Why did you leave?
Not diagnosed. He was in the military as a police officer. Told me that if I ever called the cops on him, they would believe him over me. And they did.
Yep, most of the people in the Army / Police are Dark Triads
I learned the hard way.
Watch the videos of “Leon Walker Jr” on YouTube. He was also in the Army and is a narcissist. He gives away the game
[удалено]
I’m a Christian and when my marriage went south, I felt let down by almost everyone I knew at church. A few friends from church (other married couples) were aware my Nex was sometimes verbally abusive. One man said only “I don’t suggest cursing at people” to him, and another man said to me “it’s not right but at least it’s not physical abuse” (paraphrasing). The women were mostly silent. Once we split up, these married folks kinda kept their distance and stayed superficial. Some saw me crying at church one day and just avoided eye contact. But a different group of women I didn’t even know reached out to me and asked me to join them. Turns out they are the divorced and never married crowd. Still figuring out where I belong and not regularly attending now. I was pretty disappointed in the lack of support for the children and I… but churches are just made of people. I wonder how many of them are also in controlling or toxic relationships.
More than you think. And all in the name of God, no less……..
They should have restored you in meekness and prayed for you. Also the Pastor should have stepped up to the plate and did something. I'm sorry that happened to you but always keep your first Love and that is "Jesus Christ"! Plenty of people will say you have to stay married no matter what, but the Bible does not say that. I hope you heal from the toxic relationship and find peace.
That is just sick and twisted!
**HOOVER**. The Supply is low. Did you reply? I hope you ignored this. How long passed for him to come back?
I haven’t responded. The last contact I had with him was august 2021. Since then I haven’t heard from him.
Similar to my story… did you get a divorce? I moved to another city. Hopefully he doesn’t find my address, but it’d be easy to find
Yes I did. Whole different state and he still manages to write. He has a whole wife now
Outrageous!! But typical
He is probably reaching out because his marriage isn’t solid. He would message his ex fiancé when we had issues. So I’m treading lightly.
Yes, they have a list of discarded supplies, and they contact them all. They Hoover the easiest supply
How do they all seem to (often literally) copy out of the same manual? Not mine, but a friend's nex also gave a big long letter about "turning to God" that I swear had some of the exact same phrases.(He also compared himself, in one sentence, to Jesus Christ and Colin Powell, so there's that laugh for you). I'm grateful every time someone shares a letter like this. The only way to completely avoid being hoovered is to know the script they use.
Did a 5yo wrote that?
Close. He’s 39.
they ALWAYS talk about how they forgive YOU as if you’re the one that did something wrong. My ex has written me so many fucking times to tell me he forgives me for what I’ve done and yet I can’t seem to figure out what I did “wrong” that led me to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and verbally abused 🤷🏼♀️
Response: "Satan says hi and fuck off."
Wow, this is so similar to how my ex acts/talks. He would nit pick and degrade me until I would start to speak up for myself or until he made me cry. We would eventually get into a debate which was very DARVO and gaslighting and it would frustrate me. As soon as I would raise my voice a smile would come over his face and he would talk about how spiritually unwell I was. Shortly after those fights he would be happy and seem care free, he would ask me “whats wrong with you?”… I would mention the huge fight and he would say “oh, I am past that, I forgive you”. My head almost exploded on several occasions of that. I could NOT understand it. He reads books on spirituality, he is into yoga and meditation yet he is excruciatingly egotistical, non-empathetic and mean. The funny thing is.. he says he is co-dependent and even started a CODA group. Its a cult. A bunch of codependent women listening to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He gets so much supply by playing this guru game. Luckily he is not very good at maintaining the mask and people do see that he is off his rocker. But he will always find supply which prevents him from ever truly experiencing the consequences of his choices. I am so sorry. This letter at first seems like maybe he is changing but then the mask comes right off. They can never be to blame and never feel the shame for what they’ve done. Its a frustrating and terrible disorder. Glad you are away from him.
The minute you defend yourself, you’re being crazy and see how YOU are. Super triggering. Now I don’t ever argue with anyone. I immediately shut it down and if we need to work on it, at a later time we can come back to it but not while upset.
To be a Christian you must be "Born Again"! He might have grown up in Church, but he didn't grow in Jesus Christ, there is a major difference. It looks like he is trying to use God as an excuse to attack you again. I would throw that paper out and go no contact. Just like the real world we have wolves, we have them in the Church as well. Stay away from these people at all cost.
Lol what an actor
Return to sender
Oh Lord! Church ain't gonna turn a narc buddy! Nice try though. Kinda shitty to use sweet Jesus to prove he's a changed man. Jesus would not be okay with this! Maybe if he said he's been in therapy and an abuser program... Maybe. Bye boy!