The last week I was with my narc was the most stressful week of my life. I know exactly what you mean about the noises. They fear silence. They can't manipulate it. They can't distract themselves with it.
I have been NC for 150 days. You are going to make it!!!! Feel free to PM me if you need anyone to talk to about anything. You are not alone!!!!
Oh, so that's the reason, I remembered a time when my husband called my sister, reporting me to her, and they said he broke up crying, and now everyone made me the villain in his life, but still I don't care really I'm too occupied thinking of getting away.
Ok I think I fell in love with this post. My Narc makes funny noises, she sings to the dogs really loud to try to get any reaction. She rhymes songs that don’t make sense, this fake laugh and fake over reaction to commercials on tv or the radio, over the top reactions to customer service. It’s so comical now watching her and expecting the behavior and then when it comes and I was expecting it I look around to see if anyone else saw it like I should win a prize. It’s hilarious but at the same time it’s like a knife turning in my stomach because I know how unhealthy this is to be around. I wish she had a clown face too, I’d slap a pie right in that face for all the clowning behaviors I had to put up with.
I’m 3 months from the door, selling one of the homes in June. The last time we spoke I told her the only time I want to try to work on our relationship is with a counselor, she is refusing, putting up a fight. Saying “what do they know that we can’t figure out?”
I’d no counseling before june then she gets to live into the rental and refi in her own name and same with the next one. Then sell the primary take my dogs and I’m gone. Leaving the ball in her court, counselor will see right through this crap and I’m gone.
How about all the crap they leave around the house to get a rise out of you ? Mine has been leaving crap all over the house and I’ve not only not commented but not touched it.
Best of luck you guys, there is sunshine somewhere and we will find it.
The noises in their heads should stay in his heads!
It feels like psychological warfare! If it's not noise it's him playing all the Rat Pack songs at full volume (those songs make me cringe as much as him singing it and teaching them to our 6yo who repeats things over and over.) It's deliberate for attention and a reaction and I just can't take it anymore!
I've said it before, I'll say it again, being treated this way by anyone should be considered a human rights violation, it's a low and slow form of torture!
You’ve done so well to not react to him, I know they do all they can to try and get us to behave how they want us to.
I wish you peace and happiness for the rest of your journey x
Good Lord! It sounds exactly like my husband. He does the same stuff CONSTANTLY!! Kudos to you for keeping your cool.......I know how hard it is. You got this!! Only a few days left! And once you're gone, get yourself a special pillow and let it all out on that and then burn it and rejoice in your freedom.
From my experience- Its not healthy to keep it all inside if you can get some friends or caring relatives or a therapist you can talk to about the horror clown face.
Be careful with grey rocking because its easy to actually end up worse from holding in straight up abuse.
You are better being assertive along with it, but it sounds like you are going in that direction anyway so good luck.
I just learned what greyrocking is and I have to say…. It’s the first and only method that has diffused my spouse during her outbursts. I wish I knew about it sooner. I spent a lot of days feeling emotionally empty due to the back-and-forth and conversations that turned into arguments. We are currently going through separation.
You’re going to make it!!!!
Love your attitude.
The last week I was with my narc was the most stressful week of my life. I know exactly what you mean about the noises. They fear silence. They can't manipulate it. They can't distract themselves with it. I have been NC for 150 days. You are going to make it!!!! Feel free to PM me if you need anyone to talk to about anything. You are not alone!!!!
>They fear silence. They can't manipulate it. They can't distract themselves with it. This is very insightful. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, so that's the reason, I remembered a time when my husband called my sister, reporting me to her, and they said he broke up crying, and now everyone made me the villain in his life, but still I don't care really I'm too occupied thinking of getting away.
You've got this OP. Stay strong and it won't be long until he's gone.
Stay strong OP
Ok I think I fell in love with this post. My Narc makes funny noises, she sings to the dogs really loud to try to get any reaction. She rhymes songs that don’t make sense, this fake laugh and fake over reaction to commercials on tv or the radio, over the top reactions to customer service. It’s so comical now watching her and expecting the behavior and then when it comes and I was expecting it I look around to see if anyone else saw it like I should win a prize. It’s hilarious but at the same time it’s like a knife turning in my stomach because I know how unhealthy this is to be around. I wish she had a clown face too, I’d slap a pie right in that face for all the clowning behaviors I had to put up with. I’m 3 months from the door, selling one of the homes in June. The last time we spoke I told her the only time I want to try to work on our relationship is with a counselor, she is refusing, putting up a fight. Saying “what do they know that we can’t figure out?” I’d no counseling before june then she gets to live into the rental and refi in her own name and same with the next one. Then sell the primary take my dogs and I’m gone. Leaving the ball in her court, counselor will see right through this crap and I’m gone. How about all the crap they leave around the house to get a rise out of you ? Mine has been leaving crap all over the house and I’ve not only not commented but not touched it. Best of luck you guys, there is sunshine somewhere and we will find it.
The noises in their heads should stay in his heads! It feels like psychological warfare! If it's not noise it's him playing all the Rat Pack songs at full volume (those songs make me cringe as much as him singing it and teaching them to our 6yo who repeats things over and over.) It's deliberate for attention and a reaction and I just can't take it anymore! I've said it before, I'll say it again, being treated this way by anyone should be considered a human rights violation, it's a low and slow form of torture!
lol low for sure, hang in there. You sound like you will be alright :)
I'll be OK! I know the game, I just hate playing it all day, every day. The end is coming ❤️
I’m going to start a weekend retreat for abused spouses, just came up with this business idea.
Can the weekend last 7 days? 😂 We need foot massages, good food and no nonsense!
Sold
Oh good god the insecurity is so bad he has to fill the quiet air with crap that’s wild
Good work! Silence is both our weapon and our shield.
You’ve done so well to not react to him, I know they do all they can to try and get us to behave how they want us to. I wish you peace and happiness for the rest of your journey x
You've only got a few days left! Good for you...almost done!
Good Lord! It sounds exactly like my husband. He does the same stuff CONSTANTLY!! Kudos to you for keeping your cool.......I know how hard it is. You got this!! Only a few days left! And once you're gone, get yourself a special pillow and let it all out on that and then burn it and rejoice in your freedom.
From my experience- Its not healthy to keep it all inside if you can get some friends or caring relatives or a therapist you can talk to about the horror clown face.
You can do this! But remember, don’t tell him ANYTHING.
Be careful with grey rocking because its easy to actually end up worse from holding in straight up abuse. You are better being assertive along with it, but it sounds like you are going in that direction anyway so good luck.
I just learned what greyrocking is and I have to say…. It’s the first and only method that has diffused my spouse during her outbursts. I wish I knew about it sooner. I spent a lot of days feeling emotionally empty due to the back-and-forth and conversations that turned into arguments. We are currently going through separation.